Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the...

Your Red Robin's uniform and your Red Robin candies.

Now show us your Red Robin smile.

Oh, good.

Now, try out your Red Robin sales pitch on me.

But you always buy my candies.

Well, pretend I'm Mrs. Jones, your customer, okay? Now knock on my door.

Come in.

Hello, Grandma.

No, the name is Jones.

Now try again.

Come in.

Hello, Grandma Jones.

No, I'm Mrs. Jones. Oh, Helen, what does it matter?

Florence, come over here and be Mrs. Jones.

Child, I'll be happy to go anywhere and be Mrs. Anybody.

Jessica's practicing her sales pitch. Go ahead, dear.

Hello, Mrs. Jones.

Now, don't forget your last name and what flock you're from.

Hello, I... And don't forget to tell her about your Coco Doodle Doons and your

mini Nana Mints.

Hello, I'm Jessica. And that your flock will win a trip to Rochester for the Red

Robins Jamboree if they sell 15 cases.

Hello, I'm Jessica. And don't forget to end with a cheery, have a nice day.

Have a nice day.

Is she a salesman or what?

She can't miss unless you two decide to go with her.

Florence, will you get that?

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Jefferson, but this Red Red Robin's going bob -bob -bobbing

along.

Oh, hi, Tom. Come in. Hi, everybody. Hi, darling. Hi, Grandpa.

Hi, sweetheart.

How's the sales campaign coming?

Are you kidding?

She's a natural.

She's going to make me the proudest next mother ever.

Do you want to buy some candy? I'll take 12 boxes.

Am I a salesman or what?

What flavor?

Oh, it doesn't matter. They'll all end up the same place.

You know, Jessica, it was an organization just like the Red Robins

me the values of, oh, camaraderie, honor, and compassion for my fellow man.

Oh, you were in the Cub Scouts?

No. The young yachtsman.

Oh, those were the days racing with the wind, the spray of the ocean on your

face. Everything would have been just perfect if I could have just gotten that

darn knot right.

Oh, well, those nautical knots are tough.

I meant the knot in my ascot.

I just couldn't seem to get it. All the other fellows chided me unmercifully,

calling me horrible names like Inept.

But I suffered through.

And you know, Jessica, I do miss my blazer.

Please, please.

Hey, you're all here. This is perfect. Guess who's coming over?

Cap Scanlon.

Who is Cap Scanlon? Who's Cap Scanlon? You might as well ask me who's Irv

Ribner.

I'll bite. Who's Irv Ribner?

Irv Ribner is the Cap Scanlon of the West Coast.

Who is Cap Scanlon?

Only the director of the North American Dry Cleaners Foundation.

Oh, that Cap Scanlon.

Silly me.

Yeah, I ran into him up on 63rd Street. He's in town visiting his mother. She

lives in the building next door, so I invited him over.

Oh, goody. Yeah, this is a big deal for me. I'm glad you two are here to take

part in it. Oh, well, what can we do? Get out.

George.

Well, I never. Come on, Helen. We don't have to stay here and take this abuse.

Right, Jessica?

Right.

Maybe I can sell them some more chances.

Is that a salesman or what?

Okay, why is this such a big deal? Because I'm one of the four finalists of

North American Dry Cleaning Man of the Year Awards. I must have mentioned that

time or two.

Or 12.

Well, anyway, who do you suppose decides who the winner is?

Let me guess.

Time's up.

Cap's scamming.

And he'll be here any second. Hey, you don't have time to have your hair done,

huh?

It's really not necessary, George, because I have no intention of staying

and watching you grovel over some award.

Now, when have you seen me grovel?

Look, when I flatter somebody, it's so subtle and natural, they don't even know

I'm doing it.

Hey, Cap, you look fantastic.

No. Where?

Turn around.

No.

How you doing?

I'm busier than a flea at a dog show.

This the wife?

Yeah. Hi, babe.

Nice to meet you, too.

She's the one that showed me that article you wrote. You know, the one

said, now you can laugh at Barry Staines?

I did.

Come on, Weez, don't be modest. Remember you said it was brilliant? Yeah, I'd

stunk up a lot of shirts sweating out the angle on that one.

I mean, berry stains. What can you say about them that's fresh and original?

Then it hit me.

Right from the viewpoint of the stain.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to continue this conversation from the

viewpoint of the bedroom.

Great tan on her.

Well, if there's two things I know, it's women and how much I want to win that

dry cleaner of the year award.

So, Jefferson, what's on your mind?

Well, I just wanted to ask about that dry cleaner of the year award.

Well, I won it twice, 74 and 75 consecutively. You should have won in 76

That's right. I mean, there's nothing like taking your kid to see your name on

plaque at the dry cleaners hall of fame. And, uh, I don't know where it is now.

They lost their lease.

Well, I gotta get one. What are my chances?

I'd say it was a lock except for old lady Cunningham from Cunningham

Her? She makes my blood curdle. I like her. Curdle with affection, you know?

Well, you two are pretty evenly matched up in everything except for community

service. What's wrong with my community service?

You haven't done any.

What are you talking about?

I got give a hoot don't lose stickers on all my vans. Come on, Jefferson.

Cunningham's got a mitts into every youth group from the Cub Scouts to the

future dry cleaners. I mean, you'd actually think she likes kids.

Look, maybe I can persuade you over lunch to see my point of view.

What can I serve you? Filet mignon?

Veal shank?

A thousand bucks?

Forget the brides, you know.

I mean, you got two weeks left.

Go out, find some worthwhile organization.

Help some kids. Show us you're a decent human being like the rest of us dry

cleaners.

Where are you going? Can't you stick around a while?

Uh -uh. No. I got tickets for XXX Nudie Cutie.

Maybe you and the wife want to join me, huh?

No, thanks. We already saw it.

Don't tell me how it ends.

Community service.

Community, sir. We'll copy him. Is he gone yet? Yeah.

Good.

Now, would you make yourself scarce?

Jessica's Red Robin flock is due over any second. Look, Weez, don't bother.

trying to think about... Wait, what'd you say?

Jessica's Red Robin flock is kicking off their annual candy drive.

And since I'm next, Mother, I've got to get it organized.

Candy drive, huh?

Yes, and they're pretty excited.

If they reach their goal, they'll get their picture in the paper and a free

to the Jamboree in Rochester.

Pictures in the paper?

Mm -hmm.

Ah, you know something?

You are a selfish, selfish woman.

What?

Look, we're supposed to be a team, right?

First of all, you snuck off and had Lionel all by yourself.

Now you want to snatch up the job of being Jessica's nest mother.

What are you rambling about?

Why can't I be Jessica's nest mother?

What? I want to be the nest mother. I was a boy scout. It can't be that much

difference.

Believe me, George, I don't think you are ready for this.

Are you kidding? How hard could it be?

Now she tells me. Okay, now, what do you guys want to do first? Collect the ten

bucks.

After the meeting.

If you're quiet.

Good.

Now, how do you get these meetings started?

We sing our Red Robin song.

Okay, go ahead and start singing.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay, now let's sing. And a one and a two.

What should we do instead?

Willis, okay?

Right, now, let's get this meeting in order.

Okay. We can't. Skipper's missing.

Where is Skipper?

In the bathroom.

When will she be out?

When she finishes eating the soap.

What?

Skipper, get out here.

Mm -hmm.

Palmolive. Go sit down.

Now, do we have everyone?

Everyone except Chrissy.

And where's Chrissy?

and Rochester.

You're supposed to say what?

Try one of...

with 10 boxes of candy. You came back with 11. How did that happen? We got

hungry, so we stopped to buy some good ones.

I can't believe you couldn't sell one box of candy.

What did you say to the people?

When you buy these, my mom won't.

What kind of salesmanship is that?

You should be ashamed to call yourself Red Robins.

attitude for somebody that wants a jamboree. If it was me, I would stand up

and tell the whole wide world that I am proud to be your nest mother.

And I'll be even prouder when we get rid of all these candies.

But how, Grandpa?

People hate mini netting men.

Let me tell you the secret of good salesmanship.

You're not selling candy.

You're selling charm and personality.

use that.

Oh, you mean like I should say I won't go away until they buy some candy.

Well, look, I'm not going to tell you what to say, but if it was my jamboree,

would sell me some candy because a good salesman always knows the way, right?

I'm sure your fudgy nut doodars are superb, but I'm not a candy man myself.

Now, if you should start selling crumpets, let me know.

Goodbye.

Thanks for buying five boxes, sir. I hope you get the one with the lucky $100

bill in it.

I have been visited by every robin in your flock, and while I applaud your

persistence, I detest your candy.

Are you sure you don't want any candy?

I'm sure.

Goodbye.

I guess you're going to have to go to the pound after all.

Oh, well, maybe I could use the box.

name of decency, I beg you.

Leave me!

Want to buy some candy?

Right? What do you mean?

Ah, nothing.

That's just something that's important to us future dry cleaners of the year.

Well, you Red Robins look like you had a hard day's work.

How about coming into the kitchen and sharing some of that candy I bought from

you? Yeah!

Okay, how about coming in the kitchen for some cottage cheese?

Yay!

Kids nowadays sure are different.

It's been the worst day of mine.

Look, I'm going to make you happy. We sold all that candy. I know.

I've been badgered by everyone in this building.

Oh, they liked it, huh?

Not exactly.

George, do you know what your little Robins did to sell that candy?

Beats me, but I just told them to do anything.

Oh, and they did anything and more.

I don't think poor Mr. Oliver will ever find his toupee in the dumpster.

And Mrs.

DeVorkin is still picking the gum off her cockapoo.

It's a small price to pay to be named dry cleaner of the year, Weez.

Wait a minute.

I thought when you took over the flock, you did it to help the little Robins.

Help them?

Except for Jessica, they're all a bunch of little monsters.

But it'll sure look good on my resume for community service.

So that's it.

George, if I thought you were doing this for your stupid award, I would have

never turned the flock over to you. But we were on the same wavelength. That's

why I didn't tell you.

I'm going to deal with you later.

Red Robins!

Girls,

I understand you've been selling some candy.

Yes, but the difference between you and Hershey's, they behave themselves.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh is right.

Chrissy, Melissa, Skipper, now,

I would like the three of you to recite the Red Robin motto.

A Red Robin is as good as gold.

to neighbors and friends.

And true is the beat, beat, beat of her heart.

Have we been that today, Red Robins?

No.

Do you really think you deserve to go to that jamboree?

No.

But, Grandma, I didn't do anything wrong.

Well, you went along with him, and that was just as bad.

Now, we won't have any complaining.

There'll be another jamboree next year, and maybe you can go to that honestly.

Well, Red Robbins, I guess you better get back to your cottage cheese.

You were pretty hard on them, don't you think, Weas?

Not as hard as I'm going to be on you.

Do you know you cost those girls a trip to Rochester?

Oh, it's lousy this time of year anyway.

Besides, I'm still going to be dry cleaner of the year.

Hey, Cap, you lost more weight. If you lose any more, there won't be anything

you left.

Jefferson. Hey, I was just about to call you. Remember when you were here before

and you mentioned something about this community service thing? Yeah, I know

about your community service.

Hey, good news travels fast, huh? Yeah, bad news travels faster. Get me out of

these.