Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on now, we're moving on now, to the...

Hi, Florence. They gone? Yeah, come on in. Oh, great.

You know, I sure hate sneaking around like this.

Well, so do I, but what choice do we have?

Yeah, you're right.

Well, we better get to it. We haven't got much time.

Yeah, they could be home soon.

Well, show me what you got.

I got exactly what you've been asking for.

Chateau Michel Bourdeau, 1951.

The perfect anniversary gift. It is perfect.

That's the year the Jeffersons got married.

Oh, they're going to be so happy. Thanks, Charlie. Oh, it's my pleasure.

Say, when are you going to give it to them? Oh, tomorrow night after the

Do me a favor.

Would you hide it downstairs in the bar for me? Oh, sure, no problem. I'll put

it in the back room right next to my bed.

Your bed?

Oh, yeah. Well, I kind of been sleeping down there, Florence. You know how it

is. No, I don't. How is it?

Well, if you don't mind, it's rather personal. I'd really rather not talk

it. Of course, I understand. I mean, if you knew how my wife couldn't wait to

pack me a suitcase and literally throw me out the front door, I'd be so

humiliated. You're right. It's best I don't know. Yeah, besides, he'd only

sorry for me.

To tell you the truth, Florence, I wouldn't want you to do that.

Don't worry, Charlie. I don't feel sorry for him.

Really. You don't?

Oh, for crying out loud, Florence, I'm sleeping in the back room of my bar.

All right, sit down, Charlie.

Let's talk about it. I don't know what to say, Florence.

I even feel worse about being up here in a Jefferson's apartment.

I mean, look at this place. 33 years of marital bliss. They're so happy, it

makes me sick.

Happy? Them?

No, that's just the front.

They're always battling about something.

Oh, I got George a present.

I got Weezy a bigger present.

I love you, George. I love you, too.

I don't know how to tell you this, but that doesn't exactly look like Ali

Fraser to me.

Hey, Charlie, what brings you up here? Oh, hi, Mr. Jefferson. Well, you know

cares. All I know is the day before my anniversary, I'm glad to see you,

whatever the reason is.

I'm glad to see you, too, Charlie.

Thank you. Happy anniversary, folks.

Well, uh, I gotta be going, everybody.

Florence, the, uh...

You know what'll be, you know where.

Listen, Charlie, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right, Florence.

Gee, I sure hope they manage to patch things up.

Just what do you two think you're doing?

Man, you really don't date much, do you?

That's not what I'm talking about.

Y 'all made Charlie feel terrible just now.

His wife kicked him out. He spent last night sleeping in the back of the bar.

Uh -uh, now that's sad.

Channel 9 comes in real fuzzy down there.

Oh, George, this is serious.

Florence, did Charlie say what caused all this?

You know, I never got a chance to ask.

Oh, I feel so bad.

Here we were, the day before our anniversary, acting all lovey -dovey and

Poor Charlie.

What he must be going through. Poor Charlie nothing.

Don't be feeling sorry for him.

How can you feel sorry for a guy who has me for a friend?

Uh -oh.

I'm going down there and talk to Charlie right now.

You're right. Uh -oh.

Yo, Charlie!

Hey, Mr. Jefferson.

Say, you were in the Navy. You remember how to fold the hospital corners?

No, they never let her sleep.

Oh, well, never mind. Maybe a nurse will come in for a drink or something.

Okay,

Charlie, look. I was talking to Florence. I know about you and your wife

a fight.

Oh. I know you're thinking back there in the back.

Yeah. Well, I really appreciate you coming down, Mr. Jefferson.

And yeah, it's rough.

But it makes it a hell of a lot easier sleeping in the back, knowing that you

got a real good friend sleeping in the same building upstairs.

I hear you.

Yeah, upstairs in a nice, cozy apartment.

In an extra firm, queen -size bed.

Underneath a goose -down comforter.

Say. What do you and Mr. Jefferson do in Lionel's room these days?

Ah, ah, ah. That's the sore spot with us, Charlie. Of course, we're wasting

Anyway, let's get back to your problem.

Is there anything you want to talk to me about?

Well, me and the missus, we're not getting along.

With each other, right?

Right.

I'll tell you what, look.

You always look out for other people and their problems, right? Why don't you

let me be the bartender for a change?

And you be the pathetic fool.

Well, Mr. Jefferson, I should be working. No, come on, son. It's okay.

I'll pour each of us a drink. Well, I don't think I should be doing this on a

job. Come on. I promise you, I'll have that marriage of yours patched up before

you can say, go.

What can I

say,

Charlie?

You married a fire -breathing dragon.

You better believe it.

Well, I can hold out.

I mean, things ain't that bad around here.

No, they're not.

If I could only figure out how to make my bed.

Are you sure you don't remember how to fold hospital corners? Sorry.

Wait a minute, Mrs. Jefferson.

Help is on the way.

I'll be right back.

Excuse me, miss.

Excuse me. I got a bit of a problem.

I got a bed in the back room.

And I was wondering, would you like to make it?

You okay?

I think so.

Why don't you pick on somebody your size?

did it go?

Were you able to get the two of them back together?

I didn't. I wouldn't.

I never will.

You two got drunk, didn't you?

I admit I had a few drinks.

But I ain't drunk.

Now, Charlie's drunk, but he had a good reason, because his wife threw him out

of his own home.

Oh?

And what's your excuse?

I ain't drunk!

Not a chance.

Look.

I sure am strong, though.

Where did the table come from?

George, it doesn't sound as though you helped Charlie at all.

It just seems to me all you did was pour kerosene on the fire.

He don't need her, Weas.

She's a fire -breathing dragon.

the back of the store.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I should have talked to Charlie myself.

You get a good chance. I invited him to the birthday party tomorrow night.

It's our anniversary, George.

Oh, lucky him.

Two parties in one night.

You know, I'm glad you invited him.

It's given me a great idea. I'm going to invite his wife, too. And when they see

us getting along happily...

That is, if I ever talk to you again.

They can't help but kiss and make up.

No, they can't kiss me. She's a fire breather.

Hello, Amy?

Louise Jefferson.

I hope you got your Bestos earplugs on.

Why don't you use your fist? It'd be more fun.

George, sit up.

I said, sit up!

Now, Charlie isn't drinking because she threw him out. She threw him out because

of his drinking.

George, Charlie is an alcoholic.

Oh, I can't believe it, Weave. Charlie's got this terrible problem, and I just

made it worse.

You didn't know anything about it.

Eat your breakfast.

I can't. When I chew, my hair hurts.

Well, what are we going to do?

Oh, no.

Ow. What's that?

Happy anniversary, you two.

Yeah, right.

And may your future years be as happy as this moment.

Oh, I'm sorry, Helen, but we got some bad news yesterday.

Bad news? What?

Well, I guess we can tell you.

Uh, Charlie is an alcoholic.

That's awful.

Shocking. Charlie who?

Charlie the tuna, you doof.

Charlie the bartender. Who else?

Oh, and I feel so bad, and we don't know what to do.

Well, standing around here isn't going to help things.

Wait a minute. You two work down at the help center. Isn't there some kind of

program down there? But no program's going to help him unless he steps

and admits he has a problem.

That's right. I knew that. We just published a book on the subject by Dr.

Harlan Bevington.

Oh, he says the same thing.

Oh, this guy's credentials, are they good?

Oh, I'll say.

Dr. Bevington used to be one of the biggest drunks on the Upper East Side.

Well, that's good enough for me. I'm going down there and make Charlie

Oh, wait.

Now, we can't just walk in there and bombard him with all this. Well, I'll

bombard him alone.

No, George. We'll all bombard him.

Now, look.

He's denying it, right?

Well, it's the same old story.

He's afraid.

Yeah, it's tough to admit it when you've got a problem.

Yes, it is. But look, now, I have an idea.

Maybe if he hears each of us admit our deficiencies, then he might be able to

confess his own.

Well, it's worth a shot.

Let's go down and try it out.

Wait a minute. I just thought of something.

I have no deficiencies.

Oh, yes, you do.

Think about last night in bed.

I didn't do anything.

I rest my case.

I'm coming.

Okay. Okay, keep your shirt on.

Hey, good morning, everybody. Come on in, come on in.

What brings you folks this way?

Well, we were walking through the building, so we just thought we'd stop

great, great. Sit down, sir.

Thank you, Charlie. Can I pour you folks something?

Charlie, why do you think every time a guy comes into a bar, he wants a drink?

Right. Silly me.

And maybe I can get you folks some carpeting.

It's kind of a joke. It's nine o 'clock in the morning. What do you expect?

Oh, a joke.

Well, maybe I should explain something. You see, Charlie, we're not here to have

a good time. We're here as friends.

I mean... What Tom means is that, well, you hear people's problems all day. And

while we were taking our walk... We discover that we all have problems. Yes,

we'd like to talk to you about them.

Maybe here if you ever had one yourself.

Well, as a matter of fact, I do have one.

Yes?

Well, I wouldn't want to impose.

Oh, don't be afraid, Charlie.

We all need a little help now and then.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, here goes.

Do any of you know how to fold hospital corners?

I do.

Tom!

Look, Charlie, maybe you don't have any problems, but all of us have problems.

For instance, Willis.

Yes? No, I'm just saying, you're my problem.

Oh, that's not funny.

But what the heck, I might as well start the ball rolling.

Well, Charlie, you know me. I'm the kind of guy who loves food a little too

much. I guess you could call me a foodaholic.

Yeah, and I'm a guy who likes to work a little too much, so I guess you'd call

me a workaholic.

And I shop too much. I'm a definite shopaholic.

And me, I talk on the phone too much. So I guess you'll just have to call me a

person who likes the phone a lot.

See, I never knew any of these things.

And isn't it great we all have each other to talk to? Wait a minute. I'm

of beating around the bush.

Look, Charlie, did you ever hear that fable about the ant, the grasshopper,

liquor distributor?

George, look, forget that.

Charlie, what he means is we are all worried.

We heard about your drinking problem.

Yes, and we have the number of a counselor down at the help center. His

Clint Hart, and he... Oh, I see, I see.

So that's what this is all about, huh?

You talked to the missus, huh?

Well, as a matter of fact, yes.

I called her... Wait a minute.

I mean, whose friend are you?

Hers or mine?

Who are you going to believe?

Now, Charlie, I don't think this is... No, Mrs. Jefferson.

I mean, just drop it.

I mean, I got everything under control down here, okay?

And if you folks want to worry about somebody, why don't you all worry about

yourselves?

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I got some breakfast to prepare.

Oh, hi, Florence. Where are you going? Oh, hi, everybody. I'm going out there

talk to Charlie.

We just tried.

And he denies everything.

Are y 'all still on that?

I mean, just because the man got drunk last night, does that make him an

alcoholic?

Well... Your husband got drunk, didn't he?

Yes, but he didn't... Does it make him an alcoholic?

No, but... I keep telling you, Miss Jefferson, Charlie's problem is between

and his wife.

He's not an alcoholic. He's not the type.

Oh, there's a type?

Sure. The kind that tells you that he'll be home at 6 and then don't show up

till 8.

You know what I mean. The kind with a shifty personality.

And you can never trust them because you never know if they're going to do what

they say they're going to do.

Come to think of it, maybe you do have a problem.

Hi, Florence.

Hi, Charlie. How you doing?

Oh, fine.

Yeah, I heard the Jeffersons and the Willis's came down here. Right.

I told them they were making a big deal out of nothing.

Thanks, Florence.

But they were right about me.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Watch.

Uh -oh, Florence, I'm losing control.

Quick, get me a lampshade for my head. I feel a ruin coming up.

Stop it, Charlie. I'm in a hurry.

Listen, where's the Jefferson's wine? I want to wrap it for the party tonight.

Oh, I'll get it for you in a minute.

Well, if you're busy, I'll get it myself. Just tell me where it is.

Well, if you don't mind, it's in the back room, second shelf over my bed.

Okay. Through here? Yeah.

Oh, and hurry back, because I'm getting an urge to swing from the chandeliers.

Oh,

it's

pink elephant time again.

I'm over here, fellas.

Okay,

Charlie, I'm not laughing anymore.

What happened to the Jefferson's wine?

Well, I don't know, Florence. Are you sure this is the right bottle?

Yeah, that's the right bottle.

But it wasn't on the second shelf.

It was on your bed.

Empty.

So what are you saying?

Did you drink it, Charlie?

Oh, great.

You too, huh, Florence?

All right.

I had a couple of drinks last night, but come on.

You had more than a couple, Charlie.

Look, I don't remember, all right?

That's even worse.

I mean, it's bad enough that you let everybody down, Charlie. But with a

wall full of poison, you couldn't even get out of bed.

Just grab the closest thing to you, huh?

Oh, look, just give me a break, will you, Florence? I'm going through a real

rough time in my life right now.

Oh? And that's why you killed this bottle?

Look, if that's all you're worried about, I can replace that.

It's not the wine I'm worried about, Charlie. I'm worried about you. Look, I

don't have to listen to this.

Yes, you do.

Now, you got a problem.

Get some help.

What problem?

The only problem I got is people telling me I got a problem.

Now, you're really making me angry, Florence.

I mean, first my wife kicks me out of the house, then the Jeffersons turn on

then the Willis's, too. But did I care? No.

Because I thought I could at least talk to you.

But I was wrong, though, wasn't I? I mean, I thought I had at least one

left. And now I find out I don't even have that.

Oh, you weren't wrong, Charlie. You still got a friend.

Well, it's been quite a morning.

Sure has.

Sure has.

Well, Helen, we'd better get going. We've got to get ready for the big

anniversary party.

Yeah. People should start arriving in about ten hours.

Should be quite a bash.

A real blowout.

Hey, George.

Yeah? Who are we kidding?

Nobody.

Helen, Tom.

Yeah?

There's not going to be a party. Oh.

Florence? Yeah?

You've got the night off.

Great.

Florence?

I've got the night off.

Mrs. Jefferson.

Everybody.

Florence.

Look, I got something to say to everybody.

First of all, I want to apologize for copping an attitude.

It's no big deal. No, no, Mr. Willis. It was just real tough to say, and the

only thing that makes it easier is having real good friends like you.

I've been thinking about what you've all been trying to tell me.

And, well, I think I have a drinking problem.

No, I do have a drinking problem.

Oh, Charlie.

Thank you.

Oh, Charlie.

Florence. Charlie.

Thank you.

All right, somebody said something about some guy down at the help center.

Oh, I have his number right here. Oh.

Thank you.

Have a seat, Charlie. No, thank you, Mr. Jefferson. Some other time, sir.

Oh, you're welcome to use the phone.

No, no, thank you. But this is one phone call I think I should make at home in

front of my wife.

Hey, everybody.

Thank you.