Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, we're moving on up to the...

poor children in China who have never had a really dry martini.

Here's to them. To them.

Oh, I'm so happy you two could come to our little goodbye dinner for Claude.

He's such a nice young man.

Yep. When he first came to me about his high school work -study program, I

thought he was just another young punk trying to cut classes to have fun.

Working at a dry cleaner?

Yeah, well, you know how kids like to have fun.

But not my clerk. I mean, he's dedicated, hardworking. And late for

Something you'll never be accused of.

There he is, my trainee, your dinner guest, and our country's hope for a

tomorrow.

Hello, sir.

to be formal, just call me Mr. Jefferson.

Mr.

Jefferson. Hi, Mr. Jefferson. Hello, Clark.

And friends of Mr. Jefferson.

Helen and Tom Willis meet Clark Spivey.

Hello, Clark.

Nice to meet you.

40 to 60 gabardine to polyester blend.

Damn, he's good.

What have you got in the box?

Oh, allow me.

40 -60 fruit pie to whipped cream blend.

Damn, he's good, too.

It's blueberry pie, Mr. Jefferson.

Oh, thank you.

Uh -oh.

Blueberries, the demons of the staying world?

Oh, don't worry, Mr. Jefferson.

I brought along some triethanomaline in fault of linear alkylbenzene sulfonic

acid. I carry it for just such emergencies.

You certainly know dry cleaning, Clark.

Cleaning is my life.

That's very admirable, but surely you have some other interest.

Oh, no, ma 'am. You see, sports give you injuries and girls break your heart.

But dry cleaning?

Gives you back everything you put into it.

Cut it out, Clark. I'm getting misty.

Want a drink?

I'm only 17, sir.

Hors d 'oeuvres?

He'd like to live to see 18.

Clark, this is Florence. Florence Clark.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

We're happy to have you. I'm happy to be here.

You know, Mr. Jefferson has told us a lot of nice things about you.

Mr. Jefferson said you were... Well, I'm happy to be here.

You're a lot prettier than Mr. Jefferson said.

Oh, how sweet.

You know, Mr. Jefferson, when you grow up, I hope you turn out just like him.

Well, so, Clark, I hear your semester at Jefferson Cleaners is almost over.

Yes, sir. I try not to think about it.

Well, I wasn't going to save this for dessert, but seeing we got blueberry

Clark, how do you like to come and work for me this summer? Part -time.

Do you mean it?

Does a pant press a stick after three hours of usage?

Wow.

Just wait till my mom hears this.

I'm going to be a part -time dry cleaner.

When can I start?

Well, how about Saturday? We're having an unclaimed items inventory.

It could go on all night.

You're not teasing, are you?

Would I tease about cleaning?

Well, Saturday's fine.

I'm not doing anything. And all the other kids will be at the prom.

Great. Perfect.

Oh, Clark, wait a minute.

You're not going to your prom?

Nah, ma 'am. I'm not much of a party animal.

You got a full name.

Nah, proms are a waste of time and hard -earned money.

Oh, no, no, no, Clark.

It's a once in a lifetime experience.

You know, to this day, I still remember the last dance.

Women dance, men clean, right?

Okay, now, Clark.

Oh, not all men. Now, Clark, I remember my senior prom. Oh, Bunny

Windsor, the Riverside Country Club. And then, sneaking away from the crowd...

For you know what.

Tom. Oh, that bunny pile at Dagwood's sandwich so high it could bring tears to

your eyes.

It's only a dumb dance.

Clark, it's your first real taste of adulthood.

Oh, I just love dressing up in my drapless gown with a hidden underwiring.

Then eating lobster at Emilio's. And then parking at Inspiration Point

with... Bradley Squires.

Helen, you never told me.

Lobster at Emilio's?

Well, be that as it may, we are talking about memories that will stay with you

for the rest of your life. All right, all right. Go to the prom.

But when you get there, remember those two magic words that's music to every

droggling disease.

What, Mr. Jefferson?

Food.

Well,

nothing would make me happier, sir, but there's just one tiny problem.

I can't get a date.

What? A good -looking boy like you can't get a date?

You think I'm good -looking?

Well, on a scale from one to ten, him being a one...

I'd say you were an eleven.

Thanks, Florence, but it's only a prom.

Honey, listen to the voice of experience.

Now, I didn't go to my prom, and I have always regretted it. Why didn't you go?

The guy I had my eye on didn't ask me.

And in those days, girls didn't ask boys out.

But I'll tell you one thing. If I had it to do all over again, I sure would ask

Snicky Harris.

Snicky?

You like the guy named Snicky?

Snicky. Is a nickname, Mr. Jefferson. You know, like laundry lizard?

Well, at least you had someone, Florence.

I don't.

Nobody likes me.

Oh, honey, everybody likes you. I like you.

You do?

Well, gee, honey, I would love to, but I've got a date for Saturday night.

Yeah, same date she has every Saturday night.

She's going to take the love boat to Fantasy Island.

Anyway, you don't want to go with me.

Why don't you get a girl your own height?

I'm sure there's somebody else you want to ask.

Well, actually, there is.

Someone. But I wouldn't know what to say.

Oh, now, that's easy. You just call her up and say, a prom is a once -in -a

-lifetime experience with memories to last for all eternity.

And I wouldn't want to share this night with anyone but, well, you fill in the

blank.

I'll do it.

I'll go call fill in the blank. I mean, now.

Right now.

Thanks, everybody.

Wait a minute, Clark.

I cooked you huge dinner. Oh, thanks, but I'm pretty excited. If I eat now,

probably throw up.

What's the matter, Mr. Jefferson? You reading a new comic strip?

No, I was just picturing you in a prom dress.

I guess I would look kind of foolish.

You're picturing me with a croissant.

You probably have to bring the whole rose bush for you to hide behind.

Hey, will it upsweep handers?

Danelle was fine.

Went fine.

Then everything worked. Everything I planned worked, huh?

Worked fine.

It was great.

Super. You just remember. You danced one of those dances for me now.

So, Saturday night's inventory's out, huh?

No, I'll be there, sir.

Danelle turned me down.

What?

What happened to fine, fine, fine?

Well, I just said all that because I didn't want Florence to think her advice

was crummy.

I did everything Florence told me to do, but I struck out. Well, we learn a

lesson from every situation.

What we have learned here is never take dating tips from an old maid.

I feel terrible, sir.

Well, how do you like that?

My date for Saturday night just called and canceled.

What? I didn't hear the telephone ring.

Oh, I mean I called him.

Long distance.

Cost me five bucks to get a slap in the face.

I ought to slap you for free.

I ain't got nothing to do on Saturday night. Want to do some inventory?

No.

You know, I sure wish I'd taken you up on your invitation when I had the

Okay, I'll pick you up at eight.

Wait a minute, Clark.

What about the nice young lady you already asked?

Oh, she won't mind. I think she just accepted because she felt sorry for me.

Oh, who would do something like that?

And here's the invitation if you want it for your scrapbook.

Wait a minute, Clark.

This is an order for 40 quarts of liquid starch.

Oh,

that's for my scrapbook.

Here.

I'll be here at 8. You'll be here.

I'll be here.

I'll be here. See ya.

Boy, you're gonna look dumb going to a prom at that kid's high school.

I'm gonna look dumber than you think.

That kid's high school turns out to be my old high school.

Oh, George, isn't it fun? It seems like only yesterday Florence started working

for us.

And now she's going to her first prom.

It was kind of fun taking Clark down to that tuxedo shop.

Did you pick out something handsome?

Ha!

Handsome ain't the word, Weez. That boy's gonna be a man of charm, a man of

taste, discreet elegance. In other words, just like me.

Come on in, Clark. It's okay.

Lose the pocket protectors, Tack.

Yes, sir.

Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, hello, Clark.

Well, you look quite... handsome.

Uh, listen, you two chat. I'm going to check on Florence. She may need help

her dress.

Well,

I guess you gotta start somewhere. Okay, Clark, now, I want you to arrive at

this prom in style.

So? I'm giving you the keys to my best delivery van. You mean... That's right.

The one with the bell that goes ding, ding, ding when you back up.

Wow. This is starting out to be the greatest night of my life.

She's coming. She's coming.

It's all downhill now, kid.

Wow, Florence.

You look super.

Here. This is for you.

Oh, thank you.

Carnations with glitter.

George,

get a picture of Clark pinning this gorgeous corsage on Florence.

I better hurry up while the flowers are still alive.

That's sharp. It is deep.

Man, she look like she's been through the ringer.

Mom, cut it out.

What's the matter with you?

You wish you had a come with the clock bar so you could pull up in a dirty

clothes truck too?

Here, Florence.

Here's a penny.

Toss it in. Make a wish.

It's too late.

I mean, I've already got my wish.

Gee, thanks.

So what do you think?

What should we do?

Should we have some refreshments first or should we dance first?

There's no music.

Oh, that should affect our decision somewhat.

Hey, Clark.

What's the matter?

Couldn't find a date, so you had to bring your mama?

I can use that punch now.

I'll go get it for you.

Hey, Clark.

Hey, man, that's a nice -looking tuxedo.

You decided to wear it out to Venetian blinds.

Thanks, Mom.

No problem.

Do you go here?

I did.

Oh, when?

Before.

When before?

Just before.

You know, like, did they play the Jacksons at your prom?

Try the ink spots.

Ink spots?

I always pre -soak them in tepid to cool water with an ammonia mix.

Bye, ladies.

Bye.

Hi, Danelle.

Hi, Florence.

Hi, Clark.

Darn, I should have bought some more punch.

Here, Danelle, you can have mine.

Hey, don't drink that.

You'll get need for it.

Yo, come on, everybody.

On the dance floor.

Lawrence, you care to boogie?

Does that still mean dance?

Such a thing as too much fun.

Who's that man in the brown suit?

One staring at you? Don't look.

He's a 10th grade civics teacher.

His name is Mr. Harris.

Did he used to go here?

I think so. About a million years ago.

Sneaky. What?

On second thought, let's boogie after all.

We'll pass out.

Honey, when I'm dancing, my feet have a mind of their own.

But if yours are telling you to sit down, go ahead. That's okay.

Hello.

Florence Johnston.

That's a lot of folks named Florence Johnston.

Nobody could do the stroll like she did.

Well, my mama always said the stroll would be my downfall. Well, goodbye.

Wait a minute.

Dimples Johnston.

Honey, don't you recognize me? I can't say that I do.

Nicholas Harris.

They used to call me Snicky.

Snicky.

Snicky Harris.

Sounds vaguely familiar.

Simples, what are you doing here?

Well, see, I work for this company. They test prom dresses.

This one works fine. Bye.

Wait. Would you... Will you...

I've already had several, thank you. Oh, come on, girl. One more, one more,

girl. Come on.

I see your dick dance with old man Harris.

Well, his fuckers all bagged around her ass.

She wears stockings.

If you expect me to lower myself to your standards, you've got the wrong man.

Man?

You mean the wrong wimp.

I'm rubber, you're glue.

Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks on me.

Yeah? Yeah.

Stick this.

Wait a minute. Somebody's trying to beat up my date. Go ahead.

But guess who's going to pay the doctor bills?

Your mama?

You take your hands off me.

Take your hands off me.

Again, you wish you didn't.

Pack it in, Monk.

Prom's over for you.

No, Mr. Harris.

Fool is the key word.

Now move it before you find yourself suspended.

I'm going.

What are y 'all staring at?

Come on, Danelle.

Prom is a once -in -a -lifetime experience with memories that'll last

all eternity, maybe even longer.

Besides, I got the keys to the delivery truck.

Well, you can't... Wait a minute. This is my prom.

Besides, he's got the keys to the delivery truck.

Ghostly, did he hit you?

No, no. It's from the excitement.

Come on, Clark. Let's go clean you up.

Can you imagine that monk trying to beat up a ninth boy like Clark?

Hello. Would you explain to me why you're dating a 17 -year -old?

Well, he needed someone.

And besides, I never did get to go to my prom.

You stayed home?

The boy I wanted to go with never did ask me.

That's funny.

I was scared to ask the girl I wanted to go with.

What?

Then this is your first prom?

Nah, I've been to dozens as a chaperone.

But this is the first time I've been at the prom with the girl I always wanted

to go with.

I don't know how to tell you this.

I don't want to hurt your feelings because I think you're great.

But would you be too disappointed if I didn't dance the last dance with you?

Go on, I know how it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your last chance to find that someone special to

dance, that last dance.