Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the sun, moving on up, to a deep...

Don't be looking at me with those big, sad, piggy eyes.

You've lived a long, full life.

Well, long anyway.

If that's the police, I plead involuntary pig slaughter.

I was just... passing by when I heard the unmistakable sound of a piggy bank

being smashed.

Can I call him or what?

Now, how could you tell? The same way a mother can hear her own baby cry in a

crowd.

It's one of nature's mysteries.

Ralph, I need $400.

Well, here's some good news. You're five buttons in a paper clip closer to your

goal.

Why do you need it?

Well, my godson's getting his bachelor's degree down in Charleston next week.

He'll be the first college graduate in the family, and it looks like I'll be

only one not there.

Oh.

Have you asked Mr.

Jefferson for help?

I couldn't do that.

He'd never let me pay him back.

Oh, so we're proud, too.

This could be trouble.

What about a bank loan?

With what as collateral?

Right.

Can you help me?

Well, let me see.

Easy money.

Easy money.

You don't have the stomach for armed robbery.

You don't have the cunning for an insurance scam.

And you certainly don't have the time to run for elected office.

You can stop helping me.

Wait a minute. Aren't we missing the obvious?

Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson are going to Atlantic City this weekend.

Yeah. She did ask me to go with her. But I said no. I am not a gambler. You're

not a gambler?

Do you play church bingo?

Yeah. Have you ever entered one of those publisher's sweepstakes?

Yeah. Do you live under the same roof with Mr. Jefferson?

Yeah. You're a gambler.

Well, I guess I could go and take $50 with me. That's the spirit. That's the

spirit. Always put a limit on yourself.

Limit? That ain't no limit. That's my life savings.

Ah, Mr.

and Mrs. Jefferson, my favorite tenants. Ralph.

Sir?

Hi, Ralph.

Thank you, sir. And have a happy... Yeah, you too.

Hey, he didn't do anything.

Wait a minute, Ralph. Get back here.

What are you exhibiting for?

Ralph! Ralph!

They got his door!

You owe me, Ralph. You owe me!

What were you talking to Ralph about?

Oh, about going to Atlantic City. Is the offer still open? Wait a minute. What

offer? We'd love to have you go with us, right, George? What offer?

George, I told you... No, no way. I don't care what the two of you say. The

of you can beg, you can get down on your knees and plead until your throats go

hoarse, but the woman is not going to Atlantic City with us.

because we ain't taking you to London next year.

Mr. Engelbert Humperdinck, please pick up the white courtesy telephone.

Mr. Engelbert Humperdinck.

Engelbert Humperdinck, did you hear that, George?

I've got to get to that phone.

I'm not going home without seeing a star.

Well, I guess that just leaves you and me, huh?

You're half right.

Excuse me, miss.

But do you happen to know where I can find the white courtesy phone?

And

that's

where I'll find the phone.

No, the front desk. But maybe they know where is the phone.

I see. Well, thank you, miss. I'll find it. You're welcome. You see, I was

hoping to spot a star.

What am I, a shop leader?

Chips, please.

Big ones.

Chips, please. Big ones.

This is my whole life savings. No, that is. You're missing for the room.

Just kid, knock yourself out, Floyd.

Okay, back up the Briggs truck and dump the money right here.

Hey, honey, how about drinks for all my friends?

I'm buying.

The drinks are free. I know.

All right, all right. Point. Point is eight.

And we have a five.

Shoot, this game looks too complicated. I'm going to find something easier.

Hey.

I haven't even touched the dice yet and I'm a winner already.

Let's play, let's play.

Oh, excuse me, miss.

Yes, can I help you? Oh, I'm looking for Engelbert Humperdinck. Was he just on

one of these phones?

Yes, and so am I.

Oh, well, excuse me.

In which direction did he go?

Oh, ma 'am, I'm sorry. I didn't notice.

Oh. Oh, uh, beg your pardon.

You see, I'm from New York, and I want to see a celebrity while I'm here.

But if you should happen to see one, will you tell him I'm right over this?

Thank you.

Hello.

Oh, no, it was just somebody asking for my autograph.

17 Black.

One little chip?

The odds are 35 to 1 if your number comes up. Well, that sounds easy.

Except the part about picking the right number.

I've been playing the same number for 27 years. It's my son's birthday.

Oh, I get it.

Um, 22.

That's my mother's birthday.

Uh, wait, wait.

Um, 21.

That's my father's birthday.

On second thought, April 6th is Billy Dee's birthday.

Excuse me.

Ah, hold it.

I better play it safe.

25, that's Christmas.

I'm betting on your birthday.

Now, you be lucky for me. You get me to my godson's graduation, okay?

25 red.

We won! We won!

Oh!

Okay, give me my money.

Sorry, lady. You gotta leave your chips on the table if you expect to get paid.

Well, what kind of dumb rule is that?

Rules of the house.

Well, just out of curiosity, how much would I have won?

$875.

$875?

All I needed was $400.

Now, I know these chips was down here long enough for $400.

Sorry, lady.

That's not fair. You saw my chip on 25.

I'm not leaving without it.

Yeah, pretty big guard.

They barred me from the roulette game.

I guess I was winning too much money.

Honey, the contractions are two minutes apart.

We've still got time.

My turn is coming.

My turn is coming.

Listen, listen.

Your kid's turn is coming. Your wife's having a baby.

What do you want me to do? I'm not a doctor.

that that thing's about to close.

Oh, hey, you forgot your... Drop it in. You just might win.

Who said that? The more you bet, the more you get. You talking to me?

You're starting on me again.

Oh, hey, don't waste your time, mister. He talks big, but he don't pay nothing.

Shoot, I can afford $5.

Insurance? Mm -hmm. I got Blue Cross.

Card.

Shoot, I knew I could play this game. 20. Can't hardly do better than that.

Soft 15, house draws.

Five up, that's 21.

Well, I only lost by one.

I'll get it next time.

This is fun, huh?

Uh, excuse me, miss. May I have my change?

Sorry, ma 'am. You put your chips in a circle. That's your wager.

But the sign says $5.

Yeah, $5 minimum.

You bet $50.

Hey, I'm not rich. I wanted to bet $5.

Hey, I want my change.

I'm not leaving until you give it to me.

from my income tax.

Mr. Jefferson!

Mr. Jefferson!

Oh, hi, Florence!

It's me.

It's me, Ben. Come on, it's me, Frazier, and you know it.

Lady, can you help me straighten out this matter here?

Yes. Which one of us has the prettiest smile?

Fellas, you're both really cute.

But I don't have time for this now. You see, I'm looking for somebody famous.

Well, Frazier, I'm more famous than you.

I'm more famous than you. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Prove it.

Great little town you got here. Maybe I'll buy it.

Boy, my feet were killing me.

Hey, Florence, if you button your lip, I'll let you stay here and watch me rake

it in.

I'd thank you, but I'd have to unbutton my lip.

Ha ha, 20 pesos without a carapace?

Get lost, you jink.

Well, where am I going? I don't have any more money. Well, go upstairs and take

a nap.

It's cheap and you're good at it.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, please.

Oh, poor pathetic thing here. Here's 50.

Now, get out of here with your bad luck stuff.

Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

It was nothing.

Shoot, I'm cashing you babies in and going home with the 50 I came with.

Do you think my winnings will fit in this?

How in the world did you ever win that much money? Oh, ancient Chinese secret

handed down by my ancestors.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome, Mr... I'm Mr.

Lee.

Do you think your ancestors would mind if you told me the ancient Chinese

secret? Oh, why should they care? They're all dead.

But you know I'm not Chinese.

I'll keep your secret if you keep mine.

The system is simple.

Tell me, tell me.

Find the man who has mouth as big as a fish and breathes air as hot as a

Then pray as he does not.

Can you translate that into American?

Find the jerk with the loudest mouth and bet against him.

Is that easy?

Was Confucius a left -handed?

Now, that's what I call a system.

Let's see. Now, all I have to do is find the biggest loud mouth.

Ah, seven again!

Sleep here. We're playing.

I want to play this table.

Oh, I understand. You want to win, huh?

Okay, just bet on what I bet on.

What you betting on?

Can't you read?

Pass. That's what your blind dates do when you open the door.

Well, I'm betting don't pass, as in your education.

Kiss your last 50 goodbye.

Three. Correct.

I won.

Hey, this show keeps working.

Call it quits before you've broken crying again. I haven't reached my goal

Besides, I'm just getting the hang of the game.

What's your bet?

Pass.

Don't pass for me.

12. Correct.

It's amazing how sweet that word can sound.

Oh, my gosh.

Isn't that Lawrence Olivier?

Excuse me. I've always enjoyed your work.

Why, thank you, Mrs. Jefferson.

Ralph, what are you doing here? Splitting eights. Yourself?

But you didn't tell us you were coming.

Well, I wasn't planning on it, but after talking to Florence, I got the fever.

Excuse me, sir.

Are you playing this hand? I don't see why not. What do you think I ought to

this time?

Well, how about the minimum?

We've been betting that for the last two hours.

Good idea.

That's why it's smart to tip them.

Occasionally, they help you out like that. I see.

So, Ralph, are you winning or losing? Oh, just about breaking even.

I'm getting ready to quit. I have to catch my pal Dino's act. He goes on in a

half an hour.

You know Dean Martin?

Dean Martin? I was talking about Dino Caporelli.

He's cooking a bar mitzvah in the Apollo room.

I'm singing a duet with his son, Dean Paul Caporelli.

Well, excuse me for acting excited, but I thought you might introduce me to a

real celebrity.

Oh, you want to meet a real celebrity.

I ought to introduce you to Old Blue Eyes.

You mean... That's right.

Sven Larson.

He does an up -close magic act in the hotel next door.

Well, I guess if I want to see a star, I'll have to find one on my own. See you

later, Ralph.

Hold it, Mrs. Jefferson.

I am playing tennis with Phyllis Diller tomorrow.

Oh, sure. Who's she?

The lion team at the Crypto Palace?

So it is.

Hey, Ralph.

There you are.

Listen, I asked Engelbert and Charo to join us for doubles in the morning. Is

that all right?

Okay with me. Just tell them to bring money.

How are the kids?

Oh, Ralph.

That's enough, Florence.

Maybe you ought to be happy with that.

I am happy with it. And I'll be happier when I win again.

What you betting?

200 on pass.

Don't pass for me.

Come on.

Six is the point.

The point of what?

If I get six, I win. If I get seven, I lose.

Seven out.

Lying away.

Sorry, sir.

I guess they just don't like your breath.

Nate, ever since I hired you as my publicist, my popularity has

I feel people know who I am wherever I go.

Excuse me.

What do you mean?

What can I do for you, sweetheart?

Well, I wonder if you could help me out. You see, I came all the way to Atlantic

City hoping to see a celebrity.

Well, when I heard Engelbert Humperdeek was in the casino, I thought I was going

to die.

So, I was wondering if you... Oh, never mind. I think I see him over there.

You're fired.

Everybody's waiting, Florence. Roll them or pass them to the next guy.

What you bidding?

Will you roll it?

200 on don't pay.

Pass for me.

Oh, come on, baby. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.

Mama don't really, but I saw that in the movie once. Roll it.

She's a winner.

I am not only rich and good -looking, I am incredibly rich and good

-looking.

All right, everybody who wants to win, climb on board the Florence Johnson

Express.

All you other suckers are going to be left at the station.

Looks like you're winning, Florence.

Winning? Child, I am wiping them out.

You crowd in a roll of honey.

Go buy yourself some quinoa.

I think it's time to leave the table. We have dinner reservations in the Cascade

Room. Shoot. Stick around, honey. In a few minutes, I'm going to own the

Room.

Come on, Florence. Now, you can put all this money in the bank when we get home.

Honey, you are holding on to my throwing arm.

Florence, George, if you two don't come with me, I'm not leaving here.

Ned!

I'm going into town. I'm going to have dinner with Weezy.

You mean you still got an appetite after all my rolls you ate?

Here, sport.

Dinner's on me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Lee. You're late.

The fish mouth fire breather just went to dinner.

What are you betting on?

I'm betting... Pat.

Everything on Doug Pat.

I am going to my godson's graduation, and then I'm going on a trip around the

world. Pack up the town, boys. I'm going for broke.

It's okay, Florence.

You've been broke before.

Yeah, I'm the one that should be crying.

Florence was broke when we went to Atlantic City. I used to be a wealthy

I just don't know what happened to me. For the first time in my life, I had big

money, and I had to get greedy.

I guess I just thought I could keep winning forever.

Maybe winning just ain't your thing.

George. No, he's right, Miss Jefferson.

I'm just sorry my godson has to pay for my mistake.

If only I'd stopped at $400, I could have gone to his graduation.

Florence, is that what this is all about? Your godson's graduation?

Well, why didn't you come to us for the $400?

Because you might have given it to me. I got to stop leaning on you two.

What? Come on, Florence, don't be ridiculous.

I'd never give you $400.

Here's $500.

But you just said you'd... I wouldn't. This is your money.

Remember when you flipped me that chip and told me to go have dinner?

Well, it was for five big ones.

I had so much money, I was throwing around $500.

Well, that's the danger of a place like Atlantic City.

It's fantasy land, and sometimes you lose your bearings.

I'm going to my room.

Where's my room?

This way.

You know, it is amazing. She tossed you $500 like it was $5. It

was $5, Louise.

Oh, George, you mean you... I know. I'm rich, good -looking, and a saint.