Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the east side, moving on up, to the

deep...

list jenny left with me for taking care of the baby you know do's and don'ts and

has to even if she doesn't want to let me see bed at 8 30

vitamin in her applesauce liver twice a week yeah no wonder kids

nowadays want to grow up fast and no talking to strangers no skipping of

baths and no poker with grandpa until she practices her piano Oh, so that's

y 'all rented that thing.

Hey, Jessica, come here.

Sit down and play a little R &B for Auntie Florence.

That's a B.

I haven't learned where the R is yet.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, would you get that? I'm busy.

Doing what?

Well, Jessica and I are going in the kitchen and play scrub the sink.

Oh, you just love this, honey.

You'll get to wear rubber gloves and everything.

Someday I'm going to teach you how to play answer the door.

Oh, Mrs. Van Morris, please come in. How nice to see you. I'm sure it is.

Louise, meet my grandson, Van Van Morris.

I'm pleased to make you acquainted.

Why, thank you.

I'm not really, but...

be gross to say otherwise.

He's got your mouth.

Nespa! Louise, let me tell you why I'm here. I want to congratulate you on the

fabulous success of the Help Center fundraiser.

Well, you contributed half the money.

Oh, well, perhaps you should congratulate me.

Well, congratulations, Mrs. Van Mars. You're too kind.

And on that very subject, do you remember I promised to take you to lunch

celebrate? Uh, that was over six months ago.

Well, I won't be able to make it.

Oh.

Darn.

I am up to my ears preparing for the musical event of the decade.

I don't suppose you know anything about music?

Oh, well, I've heard it once or twice on the elevator.

Well, then, you must come.

A recital is being given by my precious van and some lesser prodigies. You will

be my special guest.

Oh, gee.

That almost makes up for the lunch.

Oh, here comes my granddaughter, Jessica.

She's quite a musician herself.

What does she play, the washtub?

Take off your gloves, dear.

She's an adorable child.

Does she talk yet?

Careful, dear, you'll develop muscle.

Van, Van, why don't you show little Jessica what real music sounds like?

something.

On an upright?

is in the shop.

All kidding aside, Louise, why is the instrument in your home?

I told you, Jessica plays.

And quite beautifully, too.

Oh, as a matter of fact, Mrs. Van Mars, about this piano recital you were

talking about, is it open to all children?

Is she thinking what I think she's thinking?

Louise, the competition is only for specially gifted children.

I understand that. How can I enroll Jessica?

Louise, spare the child the indignity.

Well, you sound as though you're afraid she would show up little then.

No, no, no.

I don't see little Jessica in the recital.

Well, you will.

Grandmother, we better be going now. I feel I must shower.

Out of the mouths of...

Louise, I do hope you come to your senses and see the error of your

because if you don't, Van will have your granddaughter for lunch.

We'll show those Van Morrises we are every bit as good as they are.

Yeah. And I know you are talented.

Yeah. Can you play me a nice tune?

What are you doing home in the middle of the day?

Well, with being a loving husband and a dedicated grandfather, I decided to

break the second heart. Oh, Jack!

Don't you dare!

Yeah, you're right. It's winning.

Grandpa, do you hate my piano?

Of course not, sweetheart.

I just thought maybe we'd have more fun playing baseball in the park.

Music.

We heard the noise. I mean, the piano playing stopped.

Jessica, are you all right? Yeah.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, darling.

Hi, Grandpa.

Well,

she's fine.

She was just getting back to her practicing.

Oh, don't start on our account.

We wouldn't want her to peep too early.

Oh, then you've noticed that she's gotten a lot better.

Better?

Well, Tom's the musician in the family. Tom?

Uh, uh, why, uh, her posture is incredible.

Yes, I love the way she sits. So erect. Oh, just like a concert pianist.

So poised. So ready to play.

But not actually play.

Come on, you two.

Now listen to our new song.

New, that's the same song she's been playing all week.

At least it's a different wrong note.

Hello, Mrs. Jefferson.

From whence emanates that sweet sound?

Me. Oh, these tiny fingers, these delicate rosebuds.

Rest them, honey.

Tell you what, let's go into the...

Kitchen, and you get yourself a nice cold soda pop.

Well, I love soda.

Allow me.

Now drink it in the kitchen so we don't spill on this lovely instrument.

Thanks. So poised, so talented, so lovely. Okay, folks, let's talk turkey.

whole building wants her fingers busted.

I've been authorized by the tenants in this building to offer you $150 to make

her cease and desist.

I can't believe what you're saying.

How can anybody be that cruel?

All right, $200.

Oh, this is outrageous.

$250.

George, say something.

$275.

can't believe that you've taken a collection to stop our baby's piano

Get real, Mrs. Willis. You kicked in ten bucks.

Why, Helen.

Oh, and Mr. Willis, your check cleared just fine.

But you promised.

You know,

I can't believe you've stooped so low.

So in order to save you all any more embarrassment, I must ask Ralph to leave

now. Yes, ma 'am.

You can't blame a fellow for trying.

I suppose the only decent and proper thing to do would be to give everybody

their money.

My, but we live in shameless times.

Wheeze. Three out of four grandparents agree. She's not meant to play. Don't

push her.

Well, if you all feel she's not ready... Not that she won't improve with a few

more months of practice in her own home.

Right.

Louise, I rushed right over from the printer.

Someone's played a cruel and dirty joke on you.

Yes, whoever invented the doorbell.

I'm serious, Louise.

Someone entered your granddaughter's name into the piano recital.

I enrolled Jessica in the competition, but I've been thinking of... Of pulling

her out immediately, of course.

Well, she... What positively embarrassed you to death? I'm going to call the

prince and have him delete her name. Take your hands off that phone.

Jessica is staying in the recital. But, Louise... And not only that.

She's going to win.

Now you can tell your apprentice to print this.

Oh,

Jessica.

Look, I tried to talk her out of it.

She said no. She had me cornered. What can I do?

Well, we couldn't convince her either.

That's why we came up with a plan.

Now, a business associate of Tom's knows the principal pianist at the

Philharmonic. Now, we've never met him, but he's promised to come over today to

hear Jessica play.

Who do we need him for? I never played a note in my life, and I know she stinks.

But when an expert tells her that Jessica is not ready to perform, Louise

have to listen to him.

Hey, yeah, now that's a great idea.

You know what I like best about this idea?

What? When it fails for once, it won't be my fault.

Where are you going?

You ever hear of Blue Light Cafe?

No. Good.

Oh, uh, excuse me. Hello.

Uh, Peter Angeles, buddy -mate vacuums. I wonder, sir, do you know anyone on

this floor who might need a vacuum cleaner?

Well, you probably want somebody who doesn't have a maid. Try my place right

over there.

Thank you.

A maestro's here!

Oh, Jessica!

Once he hears Jessica plays, her future's guaranteed!

Sir.

Madam.

Welcome to our home.

Well, you're too gracious, Mrs... Jefferson.

But call me Louise.

With pleasure, Louise.

I think you and I are going to get along famously.

Undoubtedly.

Oh, you've heard of the Willises?

Of course, the talk of the building.

How do you do?

Well, enough chit -chat.

Wouldn't you like to meet my granddaughter?

Certainly, why not?

What do you think?

Oh, well, she's very pretty.

Well, don't you think we should get started?

Oh, indeed, indeed, but...

Before we do, I'd like to thank you, Louise.

There aren't that many people who are as gracious as you are.

It's an honor to have you here.

You know of me?

The great ones are always so humble.

Well, where shall we begin?

Oh, why not the piano?

Why not?

Come on over here, my little darling.

That's it.

Now, how many times has this happened to you? You're seated at your

very favorite piano, and someone comes along and drops an ashtray filled with

ashes all over. Oh, wait a minute.

You called yourself a piano teacher?

No, I call myself a vacuum cleaner salesman.

But with the Buddy Mate Dirt Master, this little wonder, this teeny tiny

direct from the Orient... Oh, wait a minute, sir.

Now, there's been some misunderstanding.

We were expecting a piano teacher.

Does this mean you're not interested in the Buddy Mate Dirt Master?

Of course not.

Well...

you're going to get all that crud off the piano, Louise.

Oh, look at that mess.

Oh, Helen, you'd better call your friend and tell him not to come today.

But, Louise, the recital's tomorrow.

Oh, not to worry.

She's going on anyway, and she'll be great.

Come along, Jessica.

Well, honey, have you got butterflies?

Yes.

Here in your tummy?

No, home in a jar.

Well, don't worry. It's normal to be nervous.

Now, just take a deep breath.

And let it out.

Again.

And out.

One more time.

And out.

That's enough, darling.

Grandma's getting dizzy.

Oh, thank you, sweetie.

Oh.

Now, when you get out there, I want you to remember three things.

Curtsy, make eye contact with the audience and smile at the judge.

Okay.

Grandma? Yes, sweetheart.

Is the judge that man Grandpa's giving money to?

That's the one.

Can't stop to say hello and visit, my dear. I'm on my way to see little Van.

Well, wish him good luck.

We artists are very superstitious.

To wish someone good luck brings them horrible bad luck.

Good luck, Jessica.

Break a leg, Mrs. Van Morris.

Or your face. Or something.

George, were you bribing a judge?

Definitely not.

He wouldn't take it.

Van is just about to begin.

Dear, this will be the first in a long series.

of disappointments in your life and joy.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Master Van Van Morris.

Excuse me.

Backstage is for the artiste.

All show, no go.

Hey, he's stepster.

You're too kind. I only wish I could have been more brilliant. But there's

obviously something wrong with this piano.

Yeah, he's playing it.

Put it in your scrapbook, sweetheart.

You know, I'm beginning not to like that kid.

Are you all set, sweetie? Grandma's counting on you.

And now, Miss Jessica Jefferson.

Go on, honey, and make me proud.

Miss Jessica Jefferson.

Oh, come on.

And let's make those Van Morrises eat those 88s.

Miss Jessica Jefferson?

Oh, George, get out there and cover for us.

What am I supposed to do? I don't know those people.

I don't know. Tell them something interesting.

Better yet, tell them about yourself.

Oh, yeah, they'll love that.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm George Jefferson, Jessica Jefferson's grandfather.

But you don't want to hear about me.

What you want to hear about is my seven dry clinic establishments.

You have to see. One near you.

Jessica, what's the matter?

Nothing.

Now, you heard Van play.

He sounded like he was playing with his feet.

Now, I think we really have a chance to win this thing.

Now, you do want to play, don't you?

Well, why? Are you scared?

Well, honey, you shouldn't be scared of your audience.

They're your friends, and they want to love you. Understand?

And the judges, they want you to make the prettiest music they ever heard.

And the Van Morathers, they are history.

Feel better?

Well, maybe I'd better listen to you.

And you talk.

I'm not... afraid of the people or the judges, Grandma.

Well, that's good.

And I'm not afraid of Van.

He's the pit.

Yes, he is.

So what are you afraid of?

You.

Me?

What if I mess up?

Oh, sweetheart, there's no such thing as messing up because I love you.

want to beat that lady?

Yes, I do. And don't you want to beat her little boy?

I want to beat him up.

Now that piano.

Well, darling, don't you like playing the piano?

I like playing ball.

You mean you've been practicing all this time just to please me, and you never,

ever wanted to compete at all?

Well, I guess I messed up, didn't I?

Just like you said, Grandma. There's no such thing as messing up because I love

you. Oh, thank you.

Let's get out of here.

Where are we going?

To the park. You are going to teach me how to play ball.

The biggest difference between cotton and polyester is the way each reacts to

temperature changes.

Where are they?

Of course, the big difference between natural fabric and synthetic is that

natural fabrics breathe and synthetics don't. Now, this suit is obviously a

synthetic because it ain't breathing.

Get off!