All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s10e15 Trading Places

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up
to the...

I get to take a special guest of my
choice to lunch Saturday with Kent

The soap opera star, Kent Tobin! Calm
down.

You're getting carried away.

After all, he's just a man.

You want to be my guest?

To meet Kent Tobin.

I guess I can manage to go.

Oh, thank you, Miss Jefferson. See, I
was going to invite Betty, but since

is a special occasion, I wanted to
invite a special friend.

Besides, Betty don't pay my paycheck.

Well, I don't care why you invited me.
I'm just glad you did.

Gee, I don't know when I'm going to ask
him first.

I do. I'm going to ask him if the
mystery woman he flew to Brazil with was

really Ramona the jewel thief or the
woman who had his child four years ago.

How do you keep the plot to that soap
opera straight?

Soap opera? I'm talking about his
private life, Jack.

Hi, Weas. Oh, hi, George.

Boy, have I got a great weekend planned.

Well, George, I've already made some
plans.

Will I be able to keep my lunch date on
Saturday?

Why not? I said I was going somewhere. I
said nothing about you.

I'm going to play golf with Whittendale.

But since when do you play golf? I
don't, Weaves.

The real object of golf is to dress in
loud clothes, ride in electric cars, and

hang around with rich people. I'm going
to be doing all three of those things

Saturday and Sunday.

Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to go
to a basketball game with Tom on

Sunday? Yeah, but I can always dump him.

You mean to tell me just because
something better came up, you're going

disappoint your best friend?

Of course. You can't disappoint your
enemies. They're expecting it.

Good news.

The day Willis buys this building is the
day I will spend a Sunday with him, and

you can take that to the bank.

I want to practice my swing.

Well, the least you can do is call Tom
so he can make other plans.

It hurt his feelings? What kind of
friend would do something like that?

You tell him for me.

Oh, hi, Tom. Come on in.

Hi, Louise.

Hey, George, old buddy. I just dropped
by to tell you I picked up the tickets

for the game. Oh, I'm really up for this
one.

How about you?

Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, great, great.

Oh, Willis, have I ever told you how
valuable your friendship is to me?

No, but I feel the same way.

Oh, I really look forward to these times
we spend together.

Yeah, well, that's great. We've got to
be careful.

Careful? Of what?

Friendship burnout.

Most experts say that it's dangerous for
close friends to get overexposed to

each other. Oh, come on.

I'm serious.

I mean, it's a fact.

You know, most divorced couples are once
married, right?

Yeah, but all we were planning to do was
go to a basketball game together.

That's why we got to cancel it, to save
our friendship.

What? Look, trust me, old buddy, we
saved it just in time, okay?

Hey, wait a minute. That's a lot of
hooey.

The reason you're canceling is that
you're going golfing. Where'd you get a

crazy idea like that?

You had better tell him the truth,
George.

Okay, I'll tell you the truth since you
figured it out anyway.

Whittendale is forcing me to go play
golf with him.

Yeah, well, we've been planning this for
two weeks.

Oh, come on, what are you trying to do
to me?

It's not like something like this has
never happened to you before. You should

be used to it by now.

Boy, it's a good thing I'm a patient
man.

I don't like to go to basketball games
alone. I mean, it makes me nervous to be

sitting there. Don't worry about it.
Look, if the home team is winning,

is bound to talk to you.

Louise, what am I going to do?

Oh, well, Tom, don't you have any other
friends?

Who do you think I asked before him?

Well, what about Helen? Can't she go?

No, Helen's visiting her mother.

Hey, Louise, how about you?

Oh, well, I'm not a basketball
enthusiast. What I mean is I'm not much

Well, actually, I hate it.

Oh, well, all right.

Okay, I'll go. Oh, wonderful. Oh, you
won't regret it. Thank you, thank you,

thank you. We'll have a ball.

Oh, and, uh, Louise, don't bring any
cash with you. It's a rotten

That's exactly what I didn't want to
happen. I hate basketball.

Oh, well, you want to stir up a little
excitement?

Just put a sign on Willis' back. I carry
cash.

You know, the way you treat people, I'm
surprised that you have any friends at

all. What are you talking about? I'm a
gem.

People know exactly the way I feel about
them. That's why it doesn't matter what

I say to them.

Well, it matters to me.

And I want you to promise from now on,
when you make plans with our friends,

that you won't drop it just because
something better comes along.

Okay, I promise.

Hi, Mr. J. Are we on for Saturday?

Nope.

Mr. Bentley, please come in. I'm sorry.

Oh, it's all right, Mr. J. You know, a
day without a door slam is a day without

Mr. J.

I can't believe this.

He can't fill out on you when you are
not even angry.

Oh, it's because I know he's only
joshing.

After all, who in his right mind would
give up an opportunity to see Her

Majesty's collection of 19th century
English teapots?

I'll start the ball rolling.

Oh.

Mr. J., you can't desert me now. I mean,
one hardly goes to a teapot exhibit

stag.

Well, Mr. Bentley, maybe you can go on
another day.

No, I'm afraid Saturday at 1 .30 is the
only time.

Oh, and I was so particularly wanting to
see the teapot that once belonged to

Queen Victoria.

They say she kept it on her nightstand
next to her bed, you see, filled with a

special herbal brew she used to cleanse
her carbuncles.

I hate to miss that.

Well, what about your other friends?

Who do you think I asked before, Mr. J?

Well, are you sure you can't go alone?

Oh, I suppose I could, but it's not the
same thing as being able to turn to a

good friend and say, gee, what a teapot.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, well.

If it means that much to you, I'll go.
Oh, thank you, Mrs. J. Thank you. You

won't regret it, and you won't be
disappointed.

You know, teapots are an art unto
themselves.

I think my own love affair with teapots
began when I was just a lad of four, and

I first heard the immortal lyric, I'm a
little teapot, short and stout.

Here is the door, now get the...

What are you going to wear to lunch with
Kent Tobin?

Oh, no.

I forgot all about that.

Florence, I can't go.

Seaweeds, there you go, disappointing
your friends again.

Oh, well, that's a shame, Miss
Jefferson.

You know, I was really looking forward
to spending the afternoon with you.

Oh, hi, Betty.

I was supposed to have lunch with
Florence and Kent Tobin.

Well, just tell Bentley you can't make
it. But he had his heart set on it, and

promised him. See, that's the trouble
with you, Weez. You make dates and keep

them. Anybody could do that.

You should do like I do sometimes.

Like, if I don't want to go, I don't go.
And they're still my friends.

Because I always bail you out.

Come on, Weez, you gotta admit it.

I mean, living with me is never a dull
moment, right?

I mean, I'm a regular three -ring
circus.

Yeah, and I always get stuck with a
shovel behind the elephant.

Oh, Betty says she's sorry you can't go.

You know what I don't understand?

I'm Mrs. Nice Guy, and I'm going to have
a lousy weekend.

George is Mr.

Step All Over Your Friends, and he's
going to wind up doing whatever he

Yeah.

That's just the way he is. He just
doesn't care.

It must be nice not to care.

Once, just once, I'd like to be like
George.

Just once.

Hello, Florence.

Oh, hi, Mr. Jefferson.

Listen, thank you for the little extra
bonus in my paycheck.

Oh, don't even mention it, Blanche. You
deserve it. I mean, you know, it's a

pretty hectic job working for Louise.

Oh, I know, but your job is tougher.

You're married to her.

Hi, George.

I'm home.

Hi, Louise.

George, George, George, do you realize
how lucky you are to be married to me?

You never let me forget.

I sold 500 Help Center raffle tickets.
It's a record.

Oh, you poor baby. You must be tired.
How'd you do it?

It was simple.

I just went to all your stores and told
the employees if they wanted to keep

their jobs, they had to buy five
tickets.

Mine is for a good cause.

And also, how can you resist this prize?

Help the help center and win a warm
winter vacation.

Come on, Louise, you can't afford prizes
like this.

Oh, George, grow up.

There are no warm winter vacations. Why
not?

Because there are no winning raffle
tickets.

Yeah, but look.

If you sell 500 raffle tickets...

499 people will be disappointed, right?

Right. So what's one more?

Because it's not fair.

Oh, George, George, George.

Who said that life was fair?

Is it fair that I have Florence for a
maid?

Fair that I'm voluptuous and Helen looks
like olive oil?

Okay, so life isn't fair, but at least a
help center charity should be.

Why? Because those poor people put up
their money in good faith.

Oh, well, you know how people are. When
they lose, they always say, oh, well, I

never win anything anyway.

So I'm just making it come true.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, I've finished the
ironing.

Here's the handkerchief you asked for.
Thank you, Florence.

Oh, boy, do you look sharp.

Thank you.

Well, aren't you forgetting me?

I've been trying to for years.

Florence, answer the door.

I can't do that, Miss Jefferson.

And why not?

Because if I do that, I can't do what
I'm doing.

Well, what are you doing?

Nothing.

If I answer the door, I'll be doing
something.

Oh, my goodness.

Ta -da!

What do you think?

Who was that, Louise?

It looked like Tom and Helen, but you
can't be too careful.

Careful about what?

It might really be them.

Thank you, George.

You have to excuse Louise.

Why? Well, somebody has to.

Oh, Mrs.

Willis, what a beautiful coat.

Oh, thank you, Florence.

Oh, I'll never have anything like that.

Oh, Florence, I don't know.

Maybe a dead cat will fall on you.

Never mind her, Florence.

She's just jealous.

And why should I be jealous?

If I had a sable coat, at least I'd know
what to wear with it.

Well, what's wrong with what she's
wearing?

Look, she's got on a sable coat, a
lizard belt, and alligator shoes.

She's carrying around more animals than
Noah.

Except one, the weasel.

Unless, of course, I have a picture of
you in my wallet.

Uh, Helen, sweetheart, I hate to admit
it, but maybe for once in her life she's

right. Of course I'm right. I'm Louise
Jefferson, queen of fashion.

Oh, well, maybe I should pick out some
other accessories.

Oh, come on, Tom, you can help.

Yes, Angel.

Why don't you start with the zoo?

Well, how do I look?

Well, Florence, I can't get over it.

Even Sable looks like cat fur on you.

I think she looks great.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

What becomes a legend most?

Well, in your case, dearie, a matching
ski mask.

Now get back in the kitchen before you
wind up on unemployment.

Well, that's all right with me because I
could stand a race.

What about the door?

No, you can keep that.

Oh, hello, Mr. J.

Hello, Mr. Bentley. What can we do for
you?

Hello, Mr. D. I was wondering if I might
borrow some acetone.

Acetone? Yes, you see, I was gluing my
cricket bat together and I had a bit of

an accident.

Are you okay?

Oh, glad to hear it.

No, you don't understand. I've glued my
finger to my thumb.

Well, that could happen to anybody.

I'll get you some acetone. Oh, thank you
so much. You know, this incident

reminds me of something that happened to
my great -uncle Uriah.

He was forever building model ships and
planes, you see, and he was very good at

it until one time something happened
while he was working on a replica of the

HMS Bounty that made him give up model
building permanently.

He glued his fingers together?

No, he got a really good whiff of the
glue and he spent the rest of his life

thinking he was a very valuable chest of
drawers.

Where's Mr. Bentley?

He started talking about his relatives
and came unglued.

Oh, well, I guess you won't need this.

Go back to England!

We beg your pardon?

Uh, we gave it the office.

Are you the Louise Jefferson who's
running the Help Center raffle?

What's it to you?

My name is Marie Hazar. I'm from the
Better Charities Bureau.

Better Charities Bureau?

Yes. You see, we've had so many reports
of phony raffles that we decided to come

over and make sure that yours actually
does exist.

Well, thank goodness for people like
you.

I always suspected a lot of charities
were fraud.

I know a man who won an Irish
sweepstake.

And he wasn't even Irish.

Mrs. Jefferson, the real reason I'm here
is to make sure that the prize listed

on the raffle ticket actually does
exist.

Now, what is this warm winter surprise
vacation?

Uh, well, if I told you, it wouldn't be
a surprise now, would it?

Mrs. Jefferson, I think I should tell
you that we have jailed over 300 people

for fraud.

Jailed? Oh, Mrs. Jefferson, be careful.
You're sitting on your sable coat.

Oh, well, this is not my coat.

It belongs to the help center.

This is the prize for the raffle.

Really? Of course.

It's warm, it's winter, and wearing
it...

Makes every day like a vacation.

Mrs. Jefferson, it is a beautiful prize.

I'm just going to take it into custody
until the winner is announced.

But... And of course, I'll be there to
oversee the drawing.

Can't be too careful. Bye -bye.

But what am I going to do about Helen?

Louise, the doorbell.

Oh, very good.

And the coffee table, magazine, and the
sofa.

Tomorrow, we'll work on numbers.

We're back.

I changed my belt, but we couldn't
decide what pair of shoes.

Where's my fur coat?

Right where you left it.

Hey, wait a minute. That's not Helen's
fur coat.

What are you talking about?

He's right, Louise. That's the cloth
coat with the fur collar.

I know that.

But if Helen wants to call it a fur
coat,

What did you do with my coat?

I didn't do anything with your coat.

And I don't like these accusations.

Hi, Miss Jefferson. I forgot to give you
the receipt for your sable coat. It's

such a wonderful prize for the Help
Center raffle.

Maybe one of you will get lucky and win
it.

So that was Helen's coat.

Well, she always gives to the help
center. It's just that this year she

to give a little more.

My stable coat!

Oh, very good, Helen.

They say it pays to give till it hurts.

Can you believe how selfish some people
are?

And where are you going?

With the Willisons. Why?

For two reasons. Number one, to help
them get their stable coat back. And

two, to get away from you.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute. No,

no, no, no, no.

You are not leaving me here with this
poor excuse for a woman.

Well, big deal.

If you think that leaving me alone is
going to upset me, well, you're wrong.

Because I like it. I like it. I like it.
I like it. But I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. What's
the matter?

I don't like being alone. I like having
friends and being nice to them. And

being me.

Okay, okay, that's great.

But if it means I have to look at
teapots and basketball while you play

well... That's what I'm going to have to
do. Okay, look, Wheeze, Wheeze, you may

not have to do that.

What? Well, I've been doing a lot of
thinking, you know, and you're

right. I mean, I've been unfair to you,
Bentley, and Willis, so I figure the

best thing to do is just call
Whittendale and call off the whole golf

George, do you really mean that?

Yeah.

And I can have lunch with Kent Tobin?
Sure, Wheeze.

Oh, George!

I'd better tell Florence, and maybe she
can arrange to take Betty and me. Oh,

George, thanks.

Don't mention it, Weas.

Oh, hello, Mr. Whittendale.

Look, I'm just calling you to tell you
I'm not the least bit upset about you

canceling the golf date.

But I just want to ask you one more
thing.

When you get your next big business
deal, would you consider me as a

Hello?

Hmm.