All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s10e14 Real Men Dont Dry Clean

Well, we're moving on up, we're moving
on up, to the...

Of course, Jefferson.

Yes, again.

Look, have you found my wife yet?

I know the class broke up late, but the
help center is not that big.

Why don't you just cover up your
mustache and take a look in the ladies'

You a lady?

Hello, hello.

Hello.

It's about time.

Where you been?

Well, gee, George, I was just upstairs
peeking through Helen's diary.

they want to see that new shirt machine.

It's not a shirt machine, Willis.

It's a hydraulic shirt puffer.

We can't see it yet because the girls
are not back from their defense class

Well, they're not.

I wonder what's keeping them. I don't
know.

Probably hanging around with that
teacher, drooling all over them.

Oh, George, you don't mean they've got a
crush on their instructor.

Are you kidding? That's all they talk
about, Ben Carter. Just because he's

all around the world and done all kind
of adventures.

They think Ben Carter does this, Ben
Carter does that.

Ben Carter!

talking about that gorgeous hunk of man,
Ben Carter?

What are you talking like that for? I
lost my voice.

Oh, well, that's a start. Now, how about
the rest of your body?

Florence, don't tell me you know Ben
Carter, too.

Yes, I take self -defense classes from
him every Tuesday night.

Florence, isn't that an insult to the
Lord? I mean, he took a lot of time and

patience throwing that face of yours
together, you know.

Mr. Jefferson, you're just jealous of
Ben Carter.

Jealous of Ben Carter? Why should I be
jealous of him?

He's a man just like I am. He puts his
pants on one leg at a time, too.

But his don't fit Mickey Mouse.

Oh, shut up, Willis.

Ben Carter ain't nothing.

Ain't nothing?

The man's been all over the world, done
just about everything a man can do. But

you, you're just a dry cleaner.

Just a dry cleaner, huh? You try telling
that to somebody in gabardine face down

in the mud.

And I challenge any man one -on -one who
thinks he can beat me.

Oh, George!

I would like you to meet Ben Carter.

Good to meet you, George.

Your wife told me all about you. Yeah,
she told me all about you, too, so I

guess there's nothing left for us to
talk about, right? See you later, Ben.

This is my husband, Tom.

Hi, Ben. Just call me Butch.

George, Ben was nice enough to walk
Helen and me home after class, so I

him up for a chat.

Then chat he shall.

I want to speak to you for a minute over
here.

Excuse us. We'll be right back.

Well, Lisa, I thought you were going to
go over to see my shirt puffer. I am,

but right now we have a guest. No, you
have a guest.

Well, give him a chance.

He's absolutely fascinating.

More fascinating than my new shirt
puffer?

George, I'll be glad to see your shirt
puffer after we talk with Ben. Now, come

on and please behave yourself.

Oh, Ben's been telling us about some of
his incredible adventures.

Did you tell him about that awful cave
-in, Ben? Oh, I don't want to take up

of your time. Oh, tell him. Oh, very
well.

I was in Australia, exploring this old
abandoned mineshaft, when all of a

I heard this rumbling.

You should have tried some Pepto
-Bismol.

The next thing I knew, before I had a
chance to react, the whole mine

There I was, trapped, deep beneath the
earth.

Total darkness.

Just the rat.

The bat.

And me with no more than two hours of
oxygen.

If I was lucky.

Did you make it out, Ben?

Well, I think what he means is... What
do you mean?

Forgive me. I was just caught up in your
story. Tell him how you made it out,

Ben. Well, it took me three hours.

But I dug my way out. Wait a second. You
said you only had two hours of air

left. I did.

That was for any other man.

That's where my Eastern meditation
training came in.

I

was able

to slow down my heartbeat and
respiration enough to hold out. Tom,

fabulous? Oh.

Helen, that's nothing. Did I ever tell
you about the time I had to proofread an

E .E. Cummings poem?

I nearly went out of my mind.

Go ahead, Ben.

George, did you notice the ornament Ben
has around his neck? Yes.

What'd you do, Ben? Break in the zoo and
mug a panda?

For your information, George, that is a
real Kodiak bear claw.

I had to kill the bear in self -defense.

Oh, you used your own two hands?

Actually, I did it with one hand. I had
to use the other one to rescue the cub.

Oh, come on.

You believe this guy, Willis?

Ben, don't be verbose. Just say to my
dear friend Tom.

I mean, Butch.

Killing a bear ain't that tough. Anybody
can kill a bear.

I'll tell you something tough. You tried
cleaning grease stains over 600 aprons.

That, my friend, is tough.

I'm sure you were equal to those stains,
George.

It's been nice chatting with you, but
I've got to get my ten miles in today.

You're a runner, too?

Sort of.

I'm going to be in the Boston Marathon,
but I'm just using that as a tune -up

for the triathlon in Hawaii.

Oh, well, then, why don't Helen and I
walk you downstairs?

We'll be back in a few minutes, George,
and then we'll all go see your fluffer.

Puffer, wheeze, shirt puffer.

Whatever.

Did I ever tell you ladies about the
time I fell into the Amazon River?

Had to wrestle an alligator.

I hope he gets frostbited at knees.

Oh, come on, George. You've got to give
the man a little credit.

What are you talking about, Willis? You
take away Carter's strength, bravery,

and his good looks and what you've got
left.

You.

What are you laughing at, Willis? Can't
you see what's going on here?

What? Our wives think this guy is more
interesting than we are.

Well, isn't he?

Well, yeah, but we don't want them to
know it.

Now, George, you know, it's not in my
nature to put the man down.

I mean, first of all, he has led an
interesting life.

And secondly, I don't want to see any
part of my body hanging around his neck.

Our wives are losing respect for us. Do
you really think so?

What would you have more respect for? A
guy that wrestles alligators or a guy

that edits cookbooks?

We've got a big problem here. No more
words. No more talk.

Action I want.

Information. Get me the number of
Pierre's florist.

Look.

This guy fights bears with one hand.

Now, be fair, George. You haven't even
seen any of Pierre's arrangements.

He can do them with one hand.

Oh, what do you want, Bentley?

Do I have to want something every time I
come over here, Mr. J? Yes.

Very well. I'll take a Duraflame log.

I don't have a Duraflame log.

Oh, good. I don't have a fireplace.

What are you two up to?

Bentley, we're having a problem here.

Oh, what's your problem?

None of your business.

I see.

Oh, Mr. Bentley.

Our wives don't respect us.

I see. Have you tried flowers?

See? Oh, come on, Bentley. You don't
know nothing about this. You ain't never

been married.

Oh, Mr. J., you don't have to be married
to lose the respect of a woman.

It's a daily event in my life.

You'll find that gaining back the
respect may not be as difficult as it

seem. Now, how long has each of you been
married?

29 years.

Ah, and you?

34 years.

No, it's too late.

See, I knew you didn't know what you
were talking about. Now, Mr. J, I'm as

as gone, but I need one favor, you see.
A friend of mine has loaned me his cabin

up in the Catskill Mountains.

You know, fresh air, little animals, and
all that serenity.

I was wondering if you might pick up my
mail for a couple of days.

Hey, wait a second. You know something?

I just figured out a way to get our wise
respect back.

By picking up Bentley's mail.

No.

By going to the mountain.

How do you think Wheezy and Helen would
feel if we went hunting for bear?

Like widows, George.

Oh, come on.

There's no woman that doesn't appreciate
the hunt.

Well, I don't know. I...

I've just never been hunting before.

It's no big thing. We just go up there
in the mountains, right? We have the

cabin for the two of us. Mr. J., my
friend loads me the cabin.

Oh, well, you can come with us.

Just stay out of the way.

When it's all settled, men, we're going
hunting for bear.

Oh, this is absolutely smashing.

Yeah, this is really living, huh?

Yeah. I can't wait to kill some.

Here we are.

Well, boy, this is great, huh?

Hey. But, George, listen, do you think
we're doing the right thing? I mean,

Helen and Louise weren't that thrilled
about our coming up here. Come on,

Willis. Women always say the opposite of
what they mean.

Oh, you think so?

Right. When you married Helen, didn't
she say, I do?

Yeah. Well, has she done anything?

I can't imagine.

Now, we all know all the way up here,
right?

Came up here to bag a few bears, drink a
few beers, and get the hell out of

here.

George, listen to me. Couldn't we take a
hunting lesson first? I mean, I'm sure

there's a local college.

They gave us licenses, didn't they?
Yeah.

Mr. J., I think it might be a tad more
complicated than that. To succeed at

hunting, you've got to know your prey.

Well, still to know. We got guns. The
bears don't.

Despite that example of airtight logic,
it says in here that a bear can weigh up

to 1 ,500 pounds, can stand over 10 feet
tall, and can decapitate a human being

with one swipe.

Hey, men, I've got a great idea. Why
don't we just sit here in front of the

and tell ghost stories?

Now, this is interesting. It says that
certain Indian tribes of Alaska have

nicknamed the Kodiak bear Takamukhnuk.

Big deal. What's that mean? The
disemboweler.

Oh, shoot. I just thought of something.

Bears are an endangered species.

Are you sure?

No, but if we go out there and kill them
all, they will be.

What else is in that book, Bentley? What
else can we shoot? Oh, I know what we

can shoot. We're in the Catskills. We
can shoot a stand -up comic.

Did I ever tell you the story about
the... Several times, Willis. You only

one joke.

Mr. J., I would think your next best bet
would be a deer.

Well, do they weigh almost 1 ,500
pounds?

Oh, no.

Well, do they have teeth that can gnaw
you and claws that can rip you to

Oh, no.

And to anticipate your next question,
they do not disembowel. Well, I'll go

the deer.

Oh, yeah, well, let's go hunt up some
deer then. Come on. Yeah.

Hey, but wait a minute. Are we going to
eat first? Well, let's come on.

Bring him in here, George.

Okay, now, careful.

Watch it.

All right, Mr. Bentley, you're right
here in the cabin.

I remember now. It's coming back.

I was standing behind a deer crossing
sign answering nature's call when

I heard a shot. Mr. Willis!

It's okay, Bentley. You just fainted.
You lucky Willis has a lousy aim.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bentley. I thought you
were a moose.

A common mistake, Mr. Willis. Well,
anyway, while you were conked out, the

ranger came by and gave you this.

A ticket? What for?

Defacing a tree.

I'll tell you another thing. We'll have
to find another place to go because the

ranger told me it's not deer season.

That's perfect because I have a
wonderful idea of how we can prove to

that we're men.

Now, we leave here immediately and
return to New York. And then we allow

wives to watch us shave.

Willard, our wives are the reason we're
out here. Now, all we got to do is kill

something and they'll worship us.

Oh, George, I don't know whether I want
to kill anything. I mean, after all, I

didn't give these animals life. Who am I
to take it away?

Take that, you filthy little
bloodsucker.

Anyway, Bentley, what are we going to
kill?

Well, Mr. J, I don't know if this is
what you had in mind, but just before I

blacked out, I noticed there were lots
of rabbits in the area.

Rabbits? They're not fierce.

No, but what they lack in porosity, they
make up in libido.

They're about the best you can do up
here, Mr. J.

Okay, well, if rabbits is it, let's go
hunt some rabbits then. We'll make sure

we get some big ones, all right?

Hey, wait a minute.

Bentley, what does it say in that book
about rabbits?

Well, it says they're easily
domesticated, they make wonderful pets,

harmless to humans.

Oh, Mr. Human, let's go blast them.

Now, this is the way I like to hunt.

The animals come to us. We don't have to
go to them.

Mr. J, this is all the lettuce we've
got. I was going to make a salad

You know, George, I'm not sure how many
rabbits are going to fit into the car.

Well, Willis, don't worry about it.
We'll just sort of spread them out over

hood and keep the rest of them in your
lap.

Bentley, we'll take turns on the string,
okay?

First it's your turn, then it's my turn,
then it's your turn again.

George, what do you want me to do?

You can answer the telephones, Will.

Well, there isn't any phone.

Oh, that's great. Then you won't have a
chance to mess up nothing, right?

Look, look.

Something's moving in the bushes.

Is it a rabbit?

Up in the tree?

I don't think so.

Its ears are a little short.

No, dummy, that's a squirrel. The
rabbit's on the ground.

Oh, that!

What's he doing now?

Oh, that's not fair. Nobody's giving him
a ticket.

Oh, he's sniffing the bait.

Careful, Bentley.

You know my marriage is riding on this.

It's unbelievable.

Yeah, the tension, right?

Know that anybody's marriage could be
riding on this.

Easy, Bentley. He's in the box.

Okay, Bentley, quit now.

to hunt rabbits, and the rabbit's in the
box, and now it's Miller time.

Wait a minute, George.

Now, we've got a problem.

What?

He's not dead yet.

Well, let's get our guns and splatter
him.

Oh, oh, Mr. J., I'm afraid.

Finally, what is this? Only a rabbit?
No, not the rabbit. Mr. Willis' gun.

Just lift up the box.

Oh.

Okay, rabbit.

Eat lead.

You think you're pretty...

cute and furry, don't you?

Wiggling your nose is not going to get
you out of this.

George, you've got to admit, he's pretty
adorable.

Remember Thumper?

Yes.

And Bambi.

And Bambi's mother.

Come on, let's face it, Willis. We can't
kill nothing.

Get out of here, Raddick. Come on, come
on. Go ahead, go ahead. So long, little

fellow.

Well, gentlemen, we've failed. Now,
George, what do you think our wives are

going to say?

Well, I know two words they're going to
say. Ben Carter.

Oh, Ben Carter. I'm so sick of him. Ben
Carter this, Ben Carter that.

And those cheap stories of his.

I'd just like to tell him once to go
stop it.

Hey, wait a second. I just got an idea.
Let's go pack up our things and then

start home.

Well, wait a minute. Aren't we going to
eat first? Come on.

Tell me, Reese, you should have been
there, boy. We were surrounded by every

wild animal in the woods, right, Willis?

Hey, how about that herd of moose that
came crashing through the cabin?

Man, I'll never forget it.

Hey, listen, George, where did you bury
the third one? Oh, right back.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, isn't that awful?

By the way, where is Mr. Bentley?

Is he okay?

Sure he's okay. He stayed up at the
cabin. He's cleaning up.

Like all the blood and antlers and
stuff.

Well, it all sounds exciting, but I've
got to admit, I really don't understand

this hunting for sport.

I certainly wouldn't want to do it.
You're not supposed to. That's for men.

Brave, strong men like me.

That must be the taxidermist.

Already, George?

Can animals be stuffed this fast?

Well, it depends on your relationship
with the dermis.

Hey, can I live here for George
Jefferson?

If you mean George Fear -Nothing -Infer
-Jefferson, you got the right guy. Come

on in.

I'll bag this baby.

Bag it? How?

Well, I had to, Weas.

Willis was busy bagging that baby over
there.

over the bed, baby.

I mean, if that's all right with you,
dear.

A tiger!

Oh, yeah, I'll pop this one, too.

Now, the guy at the general store said
this is the first tiger shot in the

Catskills in over 15 years.

Real careful, like when they leap out of
the water.

That's right.

We had two of them. We had one for
breakfast.

Yeah, you know, there's nothing like
starting the morning off with a couple

scrambled eggs, a pan -fried marlin, and
a good cup of joe.

It must have been quite a pan.

Hey, look, guys, can I speak to you a
minute? Technical business.

Look, uh, where did the tiger and marlin
come from?

The tiger came from India, and the
marlin came from Mexico. I knew that!

I mean, I didn't order that.

Order?

That's Hunter's language for kill
weaves.

I'm sorry. You're right. The tiger goes
to Mr. Jeff Reed in Brooklyn.

See? Trying to make a lie out of it.

George, ask them about the Marlin.

Oh, well, uh, Mr. Jefferson ordered the
weekend special.

Rent two, get one free.

Please, I killed the weekend special.

Thank you. See you later.

Uh, George.

Hey, Smokey.

Gave the ones quite a scare, you know
that?

Yeah, we... Uh, you two didn't really
shoot any animals, did you? Of course we

did. You think they were born that way?

Tom.

Dear.

What did you do out in the wood, Tom?

Um, Mr.

Bentley got a ticket.

But I didn't.

What else didn't you do, Tom?

Well, there was a lot of shooting up
there. It was really something. Oh, you

should have been there.

Tom!

We were men, Helen.

Look me in the eyes and tell me that you
killed that bear.

All right.

We rented them, Helen.

Oh, God!

Wait a minute. If we rented these, where
are the ones that we killed?

Oh, George, for crying out loud, it's
over. They know.

That's because of you and your big
mouth. Now, wait a minute now.

We don't know everything.

We don't know why you two would want to
tell us this lie.

Well, because you and Helen always talk
about this Ben Carter, how adventurous

he is, how brave he is. Hold it.

Do you mean to tell me you went on this
hunting trip because you were jealous of

Ben Carter?

Well, we used you to show no interest in
my shirt puffer.

George.

You don't have to compete with Ben.

He's a certain type of man, and you're
another type.

My type.

And

I

feel the same way about you, Tom.

There's no other person on this earth
like you.

Oh, Helen, I was so frightened up there.

Now,

what

in the world are we going to do with
these?

Well, everything is paid for. I'm
keeping mine.

Don't tell nobody about what happened,
okay? If they ask you what happened,

tell them I shot the bear, you shot the
deer.

The Marlin followed us home.