Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up to the...

the feeling she's going to toss me a bone.

I'm just trying to make sure everything's fine for Mr. Benton. It's

that's all.

Besides, y 'all know what a perfectionist I am. Well, I'm not moving

another inch.

Well, in that case, it's perfect.

Well, Florence,

shouldn't you be doing something, too?

Why don't you make some double date?

Uh, you know you shouldn't have Mr. Bentley's friends doing your work for

They volunteered.

Besides, they ain't doing my work. They're just helping with the party.

The ironing's almost done, Florence.

Florence, I folded your sweaters and hung up your clothes. It'll just take a

minute to make your bed.

You know, we ought to have a party like this every week.

Finished.

Well, I need a break.

I heard that.

Yeah, me too.

Well, Bison ain't exactly no picnic, you know.

Well,

I finished wrapping all of Bentley's presents, and if I must say so myself, I

spent a lot of money on them.

Oh, that was very generous of you, George.

Well, now, who's more generous than George Jefferson?

Sit down, folks. This may take a while.

I like Bentley to know that while he was away in Russia for two years, we loved

him, we missed him, we're damn glad to have him back again.

That's really sweet of you, George.

What are you giving him? I just bought him everything he ever borrowed from us.

That way you won't have to show his face around here.

Well, you really know how to roll out the welcome mat, don't you?

You know, I think it's just so unfair that the U .N. sent him to Russia in the

first place. I mean, how was he supposed to know it was the ambassador's wife he

was fooling around with?

Well, we really should be thankful that in Russia he was fooling around with the

Commissar's wife.

At least he's on his way home now.

Well, I hope he's changed his ways.

There's only so many countries a man can get kicked out of.

I hope he's the same.

He was so cute.

I just love the way he used to say woof every time he said something naughty.

I guess so. He was speaking your language.

I like the way he used to drop by so unexpectedly.

And the way he used to call us Mr.

and Mrs. J.

Don't you miss all that, George?

No.

It's no wonder.

Because all you ever did was slam doors in his face. Now that I miss.

Well, it's too bad Tom can't be home for this party. You know, he was looking

forward to swapping stories with Mr. Bentley the way the two of them used to.

Remember how they used to try to outdo each other?

I remember one time they even closed down Charlie's bar with their outlandish

storytelling. Yeah, that was something else, especially since it was 4 o 'clock

in the afternoon when they drove everybody out.

Well, I'm just tickled to death that Mr.

Bentley is moving back in his old apartment.

George arranged everything. How did you do it, George?

The waiting list for that apartment was a mile long.

They don't call me George Jefferson the Genius for nothing. There won't be any

problems.

There won't be?

You have talked with Mr. Whittendale, haven't you?

Well, yes and no.

Want to explain that?

Well, yes, I haven't talked to Mr. Whittendale.

And have I talked to Mr. Whittendale? No.

You mean... Mr. Bentley is arriving here any minute expecting to go to his

apartment, and you haven't done anything about it yet? Well, yes and no. Don't,

don't, don't! Out of the way, George.

Look, I'll talk to Whittendale when I get a chance. Everything will turn out

fine. Okay, I forgot.

After all, I am human, right?

Well, yes and no.

Hello. Hey, Ralph.

He is? Great.

Hey, okay.

Hey, Bentley's on his way up right now.

Ladies, ladies, Mr. Bentley's here.

Okay, now, I want everybody to line up in the order of importance in Bentley's

life. Since Soupy Sales ain't here, I'll be first. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Actually, I think I should be first in line. After all, I was his last

girlfriend before he left.

You? Forget it. I was his last girlfriend.

Excuse me. You two are dreaming. I, which is one and only. Look at this

You are my one and only. Love, Harry.

Well, he couldn't add very well because this bracelet says the same thing. Oh,

yeah? Well, check out this tattoo.

It's sick. We trust you, boy.

Don't start fighting over who you love the most. He probably forgot all of you.

rather hair -raising moment.

Frantic people pushing and shoving, screaming in foreign tongues, clawing

way through the crowds at the airport.

I heard they were desperate to get out of the Soviet Union.

No, this was the baggage area at Kennedy.

Oh, Mr. Bentley, you must be exhausted.

Sit, relax, and tell us all about Russia.

There's so much to tell. I must have a thousand and one stories.

I don't know where to begin.

How about with the last one?

George. Well, come on, Mr. Bentley, tell us. Did living in Russia change you at

all? Absolutely net.

No, I tried to blend in with the population and live with the people

you see?

You take Russian men, for instance. Now, they have a taste for strong borscht,

strong vodka, and strong women.

And you developed those tastes yourself?

I did, and I've got the heartburn, the headache, and the backache to prove it.

when he says that.

Now, the people there were just fascinating. I visited one little

was nestled high in the mountains of Soviet Georgia, or Georgia, where the

people are known for their longevity.

As a matter of fact, the week I was there, one gentleman who was 117 years

was shot by a jealous husband.

What? You mean that old geezer was fooling around at 117? I can't believe

Oh, neither could his mother.

Well, tell me, Mr. Bentley, what about the culture? Did you see much opera or

theater or the ballet?

Oh, yeah, I heard the Boesky Ballet was the best in the world.

That's Bolshoi. I agree. Those Russians are always bragging.

Anyway, Bentley, so much for your trip now. What about my presents you brought

me?

George, where are your manners?

As a matter of fact, I have something for everyone. Hey.

Let's see now.

The ladies first.

Oh, me first, me first.

Oh, Emily Post of you, Louise.

Let's see.

I got you each a bottle of the most popular perfume in Moscow. It's called

Boat Woman.

It's guaranteed not to drive a man away.

That doesn't sound like much of an endorsement.

Have you seen some of those Soviet women?

Woof? Bow -wow.

By the way, where's Mr. Willis? Oh, he had to work late.

What a shame, because I thought he might enjoy this.

Oh, what is it? It's a Russian girly magazine.

Let me see.

Oh.

But these women all have on clothing.

Ah, yes, but they've got nothing on underneath.

Bentley, what about me? Where's my gift?

For you, Mr. J, I have something very special indeed.

Ta -da!

Levi's? Yes, those are the hottest item on the Russian black market.

No pun intended.

Thank you, Bentley. I don't think I've been this moved by a gift in my life.

Hey, Florence, you think I can turn these without a receipt?

Sure. For me, why don't you do it in person?

Well, thank you, Mr.

Bentley, and we are so glad to have you back home. Yes.

Welcome home. Thank you so much. You know, this reunion reminds me of a

Great. See if you can finish it before I get back.

Mr. Whittendale, what brings you up here?

Jefferson, may we come in? No, no, no, no.

Maybe we should talk out here.

My wife is having a save -the -pigeon meeting in there.

Pigeons aren't in danger.

Well, don't thank me. Thank my wife.

Anyway, I was going to say, Harry Bentley is... Save it. I want you to

someone. George Jefferson, Roger Keller.

Ah, nice to meet you. Pleasure. Like I was saying, Harry Bentley...

Unfortunately, Roger here has a problem in his apartment building.

There's some loud, obnoxious people living next to him that he can't stand.

Nothing irritates me more than noisy neighbors.

Oh, why don't you move to another apartment? That's what I told him.

Great minds think alike.

Anyway, like I was saying... Well, now, I figured it would be best if Roger met

you before he moved into our building.

You'll love it here.

Oh. Yeah, well, uh, what apartment are you moving into?

This one.

You mean Bentley's apartment?

No.

Keller's apartment.

You don't mind Roger moving in, do you? Well, I don't mind, but I'm thinking

about hiring... Great!

I'm doing you a big favor, Jefferson.

Good neighbors help each other out.

Maybe Roger here can let you in on some of those real estate deals he set up for

me. He has made me a fortune.

Well, look, Mr. Wendell, Harry... You said a fortune?

A couple of fortunes. Several fortunes. Now, what was that about Harry Bentley?

Harry who?

And as I

cradled her head in my hands, she gazed up at me, eyes aglow, and murmured,

Which means?

My hair is caught in your watch band.

Well,

Florence, Mr. Bentley must be hungry. Why don't you get the orders out of the

oven? Okay. I just have to do one thing first. What's that?

Put them in the oven.

Same old Florence.

Hey, Bentley.

If I was to ask you what's the worst thing that could possibly happen to you,

what would it be?

Am I clothed or not?

Yeah, you're clothed.

George, what are you trying to say?

Well, I got some good news and I got some bad news.

Oh, well, you'd better give me the bad news first, Mr. J. I can take it.

That damn Whittendale rented your apartment.

Oh, no.

That's terrible.

Oh, Lord.

Well, what could possibly be the good news?

Well, I was just kidding, Bentley. Ain't no good news.

Well, this is a fine mess.

You promised Mr. Bentley that you would take care of everything.

Weezy, General Custer promised his wife he'd be home for dinner.

Sometimes things just don't work out. Well, I must... Say, this certainly

the old Yahoo out of my homecoming.

Now, now, Mr. Bentley, we'll get this settled.

Don't you let it spoil your homecoming party.

Why, we have all these decorations.

Louise and I are here.

Florence fixed all that wonderful food. Come on, Helen, he's depressed enough

already.

Oh, it's not just being without a home that's depressing. It's knowing that

stranger is going to be the recipient of all the wonderful love and affection

you've lavished upon me all these years.

Look, Bentley, if it makes any difference to you, I think the guy is a

He's a creep.

And after what that bum did to you, he'd be lucky if I even speak to him again.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey. How's it going, buddy?

How's your new name?

Great. It is nice and quiet.

Look, I hate to disturb you, Mr. Jefferson. No, you didn't disturb me.

just call me George. Just call me neighbor. Just call me friend. Just call

Thanks, George.

Look, the phone company is coming over to my apartment tomorrow around 11.

If I left you my key, would you mind letting him in?

Oh, well, I'm supposed to be going to my granddaughter's birthday party.

Oh, what the hell? She's going to have another one, right?

Be glad.

You're sure it's no problem? It's no problem at all. I mean, what else are

neighbors for?

Anything else I can do for you? Oh, this is plenty. Thank you, George. No, thank

you.

He makes me sick.

Oh, me. Really? Well, he seemed nice enough.

See that, Weasley? Just because a guy smiles and acts friendly right away, you

think he's nice.

Women.

I hate to be a party pooper, but I'd better go and find a place to stay

Look, Bentley, I feel responsible for this whole thing. Why don't you just

here? Oh, thank you, Mr. J., but I couldn't impose upon you. But you're not

imposing. Florence won't mind sleeping on the couch.

But, George, I can make up Lionel's old room for him.

At least stay with us tonight.

Well, if you insist, Mrs. J. Mr.

J., thank you, but for one night only, I couldn't stand to impose upon you any

longer than that.

Really, Mr. Bentley, I can't believe we've been looking for an apartment for

for eight weeks.

Well, Mr. J., perhaps that's because it's only been eight days.

Did I say eight weeks? I meant days.

I hope I'm not getting on your nerve.

Oh, no, not at all.

I'm sorry about the 5 a .m. showers. It's an old habit.

Oh, don't worry about it. And I'm sorry about the midnight forays into the

kitchen. I get hungry late at night.

Forget about it.

And being a bachelor, I can't seem to remember not to leave the seat up.

Now that I want to talk to you about.

I just don't think there's a single available apartment left in New York.

Oh, don't worry, Mr. Bentley. You'll find something soon, I'm sure of it.

Perhaps I'm being too picky. I should have taken that place we saw yesterday.

But you said it was crawling with roaches.

Yes, but they're quiet.

But don't forget, every window in the place was broken.

Well, all right, I didn't say it was perfect.

You must admit the rent was good.

That's true.

I just didn't like the idea of you leaving a suitcase full of unmarked

a phone booth.

Well, I'm not going to let these minor setbacks get me down.

Now, I learned two things on my trip to Russia.

Never give up and never ever sleep in a yak pasture.

That's when I learned the hard way.

Oh, my goodness, I've got to get going. I have an appointment to see an

apartment.

You see, maybe your luck is turning around.

Oh, I hope so. Here's the description.

A cold water flat, no view, easy access up to subway.

Wish me luck.

Florence, we've got to help Mr. Bentley get his apartment back.

I know.

But frankly, I don't see no hope of getting that new guy out of there.

I mean, I guess we're just too nice to live next to.

But... We don't have to be too nice to live next door to.

We could be the worst neighbors in the world.

Well, how do you expect us to do that?

Well, what do people hate to live next door to the most?

Black people.

But they done seen y 'all already and it don't seem to make no difference.

No, they...

Hate noisy neighbors.

Now, we are going to make so much racket that Mr. Keller is not going to want to

stay here another minute.

Now, get me some pots and pans and a wooden spoon.

Mr. Jefferson, I don't know how such a silly scheme came out your mouth.

That's not the way to do things.

You're right.

You got to use a metal spoon, honey. It makes more noise.

Hey, Wee, how's everything going?

Oh, George, I'm glad you're home. Turn the stereo on loud.

Now, we must have some party noisemakers around here someplace.

We are driving Mr. Keller out.

Oh, uh, do you really think that's going to drive him out? Of course.

Then we can get Mr. Bentley's apartment back. Now, scoot.

Oh, uh, yeah. As a matter of fact, I think I'll just go out here in the

and be really obnoxious.

Oh. Okay, but I don't think just talking to him will do it.

Yes, sir. Hey, Rog, old buddy. I want to talk to you a minute. See, we're doing

a little construction over here next door, you know, and the noise might come

sweeping through a little bit.

You mean that?

Yeah, well, I guess I'll let the cat out of the bag so I might as well tell you

the whole story.

See, we're building you a monument.

Think you could hold up construction till I leave?

What?

I'm jetting down to... Wait, wait, hold on a minute.

Hey, quiet!

I think he's breaking.

What were you saying?

I was saying I'm jetting down to Key West tonight to work out a big land

And, hey, this might interest you.

I'm putting together a consortium that is going to make some big bucks. Ah, big

bucks are the best bucks.

Then why don't you fly down with me? You can stay on my yacht, swim, fish, catch

the little sun, come home a rich man.

Yeah, sounds like a lot of work, but that's what makes big businessmen,

Great. Then be here at six.

Ah, okay, with fins on.

Oh, and George, it's just the guys.

Do you mind leaving the wife at home? Nah, I never mix marriage with pleasure.

Mr. J, hello. I just forgot my map to Hell's Kitchen.

Oh, Bentley, I didn't see you standing here.

I must be blind with rage.

Oh, Mr. Keller again?

Don't mention his name.

Well, you really dislike him, don't you? Look, Bentley, you know I get along

with everybody, but this guy just bugs me.

Well, why don't you tell him off?

Bentley, I don't have a mean bone in my body.

You coming in?

Momentarily, momentarily.

Wait.

Where are my deck shoes?

In the closet. Thanks.

Did we drive Mr. Keller crazy with this noise?

Oh, let me tell you. I just found out Keller really likes noise. In fact, he

prefers noise, even with his loud clothes.

What?

Now we have to be extra quiet and drive him crazy.

You are vicious, Weaves.

You know where my wraparound sunglasses are?

In your top drawer.

Thanks.

We have stuck with a neighbor that's making George miserable.

Hey, wait.

Would I look better in my orange swimming trunks than my black swimming

George, would you forget about those trunks?

We're trying to help Mr. Bentley.

Who? Mr. Bentley!

Shh!

Mr. Jefferson, we have to get Mr. Bentley back in his apartment.

Look, Florence, it's only a 10 -year lease. In 11 years, Keller will move out

and we'll be back in business.

Sound like you don't care about Mr. Bentley at all. Care, Wheezy? I care.

bleeding inside for the guy.

I can't think of nothing else. Where's my cocoa butter?

George, what's with all these questions?

And where are you going? Shh. To another stinking, boring, miserable business

trip.

I'll get it.

Howdy, neighbor.

Got the howdy neighbor, Bull Jefferson.

I understand you said some pretty nasty things about me.

What? Where'd you hear that?

Hi, Mr. J.

Now, come on, let it all out, Mr. J. It's much more honest that way, and Mr.

Keller here appreciates honesty, right?

Right.

So, did you call me a creep and a jerk and say I made you sick?

Well, yeah, but only with the utmost respect.

Say, do you happen to have any cocoa butter?

You won't be needing any.

Oh, no, son?

No, no, you.

But I thought you said you liked honesty.

I do. I just don't like people who don't like me.

In other words, I never want to see you again.

Oh, in other words, when I'm on the yacht, just stay below deck, right?

No, in other words, just stay home.

I don't need neighbors like you.

Say, does that mean you won't need the apartment?

That's right. And by the way, Bentley, I want to thank you for cluing me in on

my ex -neighbor.

Maybe I can return the favor. I am flying down to Key West tonight. How

you like to join me?

I'd love it.

Great. Then be at the airport at six.

I'll be there.

Mr. J, we did it.

You've lost an annoying neighbor and I've got my apartment back. Oh, Mr. J,

going to be like old times.

You want to see old times? I'll show you old times.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0