Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up. To the east side. Moving on up. To a

deep.

Is this your day off? I thought you'd be out with Curtis.

No, child.

Curtis is ancient history.

Oh, no. What happened?

Do you know he invited me out for a steak?

The nerve.

You don't understand, Miss Jefferson.

Every single time Curtis and I have gone out, it's been for a steak dinner.

I got tired of it, so I said, Curtis, let's try something different.

And? And he invited me out for a steak lunch.

Florence, the two of you must do more than go out for steaks. Oh, yeah.

He invited me to the baseball game, too.

But that's all there was.

Baseball and steak, steak and baseball.

He's got a sense of humor, though.

He said his favorite team was the Philadelphia Fillets.

Well, did you ever try to talk to him about it?

Sure. I said, Curtis, you are too set in your ways, honey.

You've got to make a change.

And what did he say?

Pass the A1 salt.

Come on, will you?

Florence, get it in gear and pour me some coffee.

Uh, George, this is Florence's day off.

Now, try to have a little consideration.

Uh, Florence and Curtis aren't going out anymore.

Oh.

Is that by choice or by law?

Get that.

Consideration, George.

Oh, sorry. Get that, will you?

Mrs. Jefferson?

Hello, Betty.

Lawrence, girl, I got the answer to all our problems right here. What's that?

Girl, it's this article called How to Marry Money. It tells all the places

the rich, eligible bachelors hang out in New York.

Maybe we can find ourselves a millionaire.

Oh, Betty. No, girl, it's this art gallery mentioned in the article. It

far from here.

Why don't we go there and see if we can't land a couple of big spenders?

I don't know, Betty. I'd feel strange hunting after a man.

Huh?

I think it's better for a woman to let herself be hunted.

Oh, great. I'll get five bloodhounds and give you a head start.

Well, let's hope that they don't think you're a fire hydrant.

Oh, please, Florence, you've got to go with me. Because if I go to that gallery

alone, I'll look like a woman on the prowl. But if you go with me, well,

look like... Bad modern art.

Please, Florence.

Well... Okay, but remember, just to keep you company. Oh, all right.

You want to come with us, Miss Jefferson? I'm married, Florence.

Well, I won't tell if you won't.

George, you're at that calculator again.

You know, Weese, considering all factors, I'd say that Florence's chances

meeting a millionaire in his right mind are six million to one.

Damn Japanese calculator.

You're kidding.

I mean, I'm happy for you. How did it happen?

Well, while Betty was looking at this piece of sculpture that turned out to be

fire extinguisher, I was sitting between these two abstract paintings when

suddenly this guy came up and said I look strange because I didn't have two

on one side of my nose.

He hasn't seen you first thing in the morning.

George, for once in her humdrum life, something nice has happened to her.

He's rude. Go on, Florence.

Well, anyway, he was real nice, and while he was explaining art to me, Betty

came over and told him she was a brain surgeon.

And he believed her?

Oh, she was good. She kept throwing around a lot of technical terms like

and noggin.

Would you tell him you were an astronaut?

No, I told him I was just a maid.

Oh, Florence, I'm proud of you for telling the truth.

Yeah, me too. So when's he going out with Betty?

You know, Miss Jefferson, there were a lot of women in that room that were more

interested in me, but Harry kept talking to me. Oh, that's his name, Harry

Cross. Florence, I hate to rain on your parade.

God knows Mother Nature sent enough monsoons your way already.

But if a man starts walking up to you on the street and talks to you of his own

free will, there's no gun in his back or no knife up under his neck, no way is

that man a millionaire.

I'm just saying this because I'm concerned.

George, how can you say that man's not a millionaire?

Because I know men and I know millionaires. I am one, and I'm almost

Oh, really?

Which one?

Tell me, Florence, when are you going out with Harry?

Oh, we're not.

I didn't give him my phone number.

Why not?

Well, I don't know. I guess I was just nervous.

So anyway, while he was explaining to Betty that Rodin was a famous sculptor

not a monster from one of those Japanese horror movies, I sneaked out.

You don't think I made a mistake, do you? That's the smartest thing you ever

did.

You really think so? Absolutely. I'm positive.

Oh, Lord, now I know I made a mistake.

George, why are you always so skeptical?

Look, we need the guy, the con artist.

He probably read the same article Betty did.

He figured if he couldn't hit on a rich woman, the next best thing to do would

be to hit on a maid working for a rich man.

Either that or the Braille school is right next to the art gallery and went

the wrong door.

Excuse me, is this the Jefferson's residence?

Oh, yes, it is.

Does Florence Johnston work here? She's been known to.

Oh, yes, she does.

Are you a friend of hers?

Well, we just met this morning. My name is Harry Crawford.

Oh, well, hello, Mr. Crawford. Please come in.

Florence was just talking about you.

Oh, I'm Louise Jefferson, and this is my husband, George.

Oh, Florence!

here to see you.

So, you met my maid this morning, huh?

Yes, I did.

And you want to see her again?

Yes, I do.

Well, you're eccentric, I'll give you that.

But maybe you can answer me a question.

How much did you pay back in taxes last year?

I got a refund.

Sounds like a millionaire.

George, would you please leave Mr. Crawford alone?

I ain't bothering him.

Am I bothering you?

Well, as a matter of fact... Maybe you can answer this question.

What are your intentions?

Uh, George.

Mr. Crawford.

Hello, Florence. I hope you don't mind my showing up like this.

Well, how in the world did you find me? It wasn't easy, but I finally got your

doctor friend to tell me where you live.

I hope I'm not intruding, but I really wanted to see you again.

Well, of course you're not intruding.

It's really nice to see you again.

Well, here I am.

Well, here I am.

Well, now that we all know where we are, why don't we sit down and get to know

each other?

Uh, George, I think you're wanted in the kitchen.

By who?

Me.

Oh, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Crawford. My pleasure, Mrs. Jefferson.

Look, Florence, whether this guy is a millionaire or not doesn't matter. What

matters is, if you're gonna lie, why don't you call yourself a billionaire?

I can't believe you're here.

Neither can I. Your friend's directions were terrible.

Oh, I got to tell you something about Betty. She's not really a brain surgeon.

I kind of figured that. I asked her if she thought lobotomies were humane. She

said yes, and they make nice pets, too.

Oh, lobotomies. Oh,

look, Mr. Crawford. No, it's Harry. Please.

Okay.

Harry, I'm sorry I ran out on you today.

I guess I was just overwhelmed.

You were so nice, I couldn't believe it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can be rude if it'll make you happy.

Oh, no, no. It's just that, well, I just couldn't understand it. I mean, why me?

Why not you?

Well, that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me.

But I am just a maid.

Do you know that was the very first thing you said to me when I met you, and

don't want to hear you say it again.

You know what I want to hear you say?

That I'm just a brain surgeon?

No, that you'll go to Swan Lake with me tomorrow night.

I'd love to, but to tell you the truth, the mosquitoes eat me alive.

It's a ballet.

Bottom me ballet.

I guess you can tell I don't know much about ballet, huh?

But I do, and I know you'll love it.

Of course, if you're busy tomorrow night... Oh, well, let me check my

appointment book.

Well,

family fuse or rerun.

Guess I'm free.

Great. I'll pick you up at seven. Okay.

And you will leave your insect repellent at home, won't you? Okay.

Oh, I almost forgot. I picked up a little something on the way over I'd

give to you.

A gold watch!

This must have cost a fortune!

Don't worry about it, Florence.

Well, this never... I mean...

This only happens in the movies, child.

Or when two people are really serious about each other.

Well?

Harry, this is beautiful, but I can't take it.

Why not, Florence? There's no strings attached.

I can't. Sure you can.

No, I can't.

At least try it on. Really, I can't.

Okay. I guess one little try.

There. You look stunning.

Yeah, I do, don't I?

I still can't take it, though.

You understand, don't you?

Of course I do.

But believe me, there'll come a day when you're ready for this and a lot more.

You're special, Florence.

Real special.

Oh, but Harry, I'm just... amazed at how well we get along.

Harry gone?

I didn't hear the door close.

Miss Jefferson, were you eavesdropping?

Oh, of course not.

He offered you a gold watch. Why the hell didn't you take it?

So, Florence and Harry are still seeing each other, Louise.

Now, do you think it's going to work out?

Now, Tom, don't be so nosy.

What Florence does and with whom she does it is her own business.

Now, come on, Louise.

Give me the trash.

Well, they've been out every night this week.

If it wasn't the ballet, it was the opera or the symphony.

And every night he's offered her a gift more expensive than the last one. Oh,

and each time she sends them back, right?

That's right.

Oh, but still it's nice to hear about a man showering a woman with a lavish

gift.

That kind of romance doesn't happen much anymore.

Well, I suppose that full set of Tupperware I gave you was cruel and

unusual punishment.

Oh, Tom, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right. My heart does skip a beat every time I save leftovers.

But Harry is such a romantic.

Oh, he's on his way over here now, as a matter of fact.

He and Florence are having a picnic out on the balcony.

That is romantic.

Well, now, wait a minute. I'm more of a naturalist than that.

Oh, Helen, you remember that last picnic we went on? Oh, Louise, it had

everything that great outdoors could offer. It had fresh air, grass, trees.

And a 12 -inch color television set.

Well, the Mets were on TV, okay?

They don't call him Grizzly Willis for nothing.

You know...

Helen, all of this talk has given me an overwhelming desire to flip away with

you upstairs.

Oh, Tom, you romantic fool.

Contain yourself.

Oh, well, Louise, excuse us while we go upstairs.

I just remembered the Mets are on TV today.

And he's going to score just about as much as they do.

You know something weird? Something weird going on with this Crawford guy.

I had my accountant check old Harry out.

Oh, what happened?

He is loaded.

And what's wrong with that?

I don't know.

There's something off balance in the universe.

Let me check it out.

Gravity check.

Nope, that's still working.

Water's still wet.

I don't know what it is, but I'm telling you, there's something weird going on

someplace. Oh, I feel so beautiful today.

My God, it's all over the place.

So how was your date last night?

Oh, it was great. Do you know Harry tried to give me a pearl necklace?

And you didn't take it?

No. Gravity check.

Mr.

Jefferson, I'd love to take Harry's gifts. Really, I would. But to tell you

truth, I'm scared.

I mean, if I do, it means I'm really serious. And, well, I'm not too sure

the right man for me yet.

Well, tell me, do you enjoy yourself when you're with him?

Yes. And do you think about him when you're not together?

Oh, Miss Jefferson, all the time.

But I still don't know why he keeps giving me all those expensive things.

Well, Florence, it's obvious that you care for him.

And by offering you those gifts, he's just trying to show you how much he

for you.

I think he loves me.

He loves you?

Gravity check.

Florence,

you're beautiful as always.

Well, that's because that's how you make me feel.

Come on in.

Oh, ain't that sweet?

Good evening, Mrs. Jefferson.

George.

Look, uh, Harry, I got something to talk to you about.

Oh, I'll take this, Harry.

Let me guess.

You want me to name the Fortune 500 by net worth and alphabetically. No, no,

When I first met you, I doubted you, right?

But I gotta say, out of all the guys that Florence has brought around here

the past eight years, you are the best of all three.

I take that as a compliment, George.

You should.

Oh, you know, Harry, this was so thoughtful.

Florence, come stand by me. I want to show you something.

Now, what do you see?

Well, there's a garbage scowl going up the East River.

You see this skyline?

Isn't it something?

There's a whole world out there, Florence, that can be all yours.

Oh, Harry.

Even with all your money, you can't afford that.

I'll take Manhattan, the Bronx, and Staten Island, too.

Would you settle for Staten Island?

You know, Harry, I mean, I have seen and learned so much this week.

If I were to die tomorrow, I'd say, Whoa, what a rock!

Harry, it's beautiful, but I can't take it. Florence, all week long, you've been

turning down gifts from me, and I've gone along with it. But before you give

back this time, I want you to know that you are a very special person.

And I wouldn't offer it to you if I didn't think you deserved it.

Well, in that case, I accept.

Florence, I'm so proud of you.

Well, I'm glad I made you happy.

Do you realize what a special moment this is?

Well, I think so, but why don't you tell me what you mean?

Well, you finally arrived.

Arrived? Where have I been?

Searching.

Searching for your own self -worth.

Florence, don't you understand that by finally accepting this gift, you've

to see the light? You are worthy of these things and more, much more.

I don't understand.

Florence, the reason you didn't accept my gifts before was because you thought

you didn't deserve them. I stitched your low self -esteem the moment I met you.

What was the first thing you said to me?

Don't touch the anchovy loaf.

No, you said you were just a maid.

Well, yeah, that too, but I... Just a maid?

Florence, I made up my mind then and there that it was my duty to make you

that you are just a maid. You are special, and you are worthy of special

Your duty?

Then the ballet, the dinners, the gifts were just... They were fun, weren't

they? Well, yes. Yes, but that was because I was doing them with someone I

enjoyed being with. Well, thanks, Florence, but they were more than that.

were the key to transforming you into somebody that you could finally be happy

with. In other words, you didn't like me. You liked what you thought you could

turn me into, right? Now, there we go again, slipping.

You didn't answer the question.

Oh, Florence, of course I liked you. And believe me, this is just the beginning.

Why, by the time I get through with you, there won't be anything we can't do

together. Well, I don't know about we, but I'll show you something I can do.

What's that, dear?

Who do you think you are?

Do you think just because you've got some money, you can mess with people's

minds? Of course I don't understand. You think I'm going to play guinea pig for

you? You got another thing coming here.

I don't understand. In case you hadn't noticed, I had plenty of self -esteem

day I met you. And I didn't need your fancy dinners or your fancy plays, and

especially not you to remind me of that.

Well, then why did you say you were just amazing? Okay, maybe I shouldn't have

said just.

Uh -huh. Uh -huh, nothing.

I mean, it was just that I was around a bunch of people that I wasn't used to,

that's all.

I mean, haven't you ever felt out of place?

Like around human beings, for instance?

Florence, I think that you... Oh, no, you don't think.

That's the trouble. You don't think.

If you did, you wouldn't try to change people into something you wanted instead

of appreciating them for what they are.

Now, if you don't mind, you can take your ego, if you can lift it, and get

of here.

All right.

But, Florence, I only have your best interest at heart. Oh, yeah. Well, so do

I almost forgot.

All right. Of course I'm all right. What were you two doing?

Eavesdropping again?

She was.

I just came right out and listened.

Florence, I can't believe the nerve of him.

Oh, we're sorry.

Yeah, Florence, I know this is going to hurt for a while, but you're better off

believing me.

Thanks, Mr. Jefferson.

And to keep your hurt to a minimum, just...

Don't even think about those millions and millions and millions of dollars

you just threw out the door.

And, George, to keep your hurt to a minimum, keep your mouth to a minimum.

I just don't understand, Miss Jefferson.

I mean, why would Harry do that?

I'd never do that.

I'd never try to change somebody just to please myself.

Oh, my God. Curtis, excuse me.

She's really upset with you. You better cheer her up. Let's tell her she doesn't

have to scrub down the balcony until tomorrow.

Hello.

Curtis, this is Florence.

Listen, remember what I said about changing your ways?

Well, forget it.

Sure, I mean it.

What?

The Yankees and Orioles tomorrow night? You bet.

Box seats?

The visitors dugout?

Oh, you romantic devil, you.

I'll see you.

The visitors dug out, huh?

Yeah. You know, Curtis may be stuck on baseball, but at least he appreciates me

for who I am. Yeah, and don't worry about losing Harry. So he missed out on

million bucks, with money anyway.

Gravity check.