Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,550 --> 00:00:05,410
Well, we're moving on up, we're moving
on up to the...
2
00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,690
Okay, Miss Jefferson, true or false?
3
00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:16,030
Nautical miles are longer than
conventional miles.
4
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:18,450
False. No, true.
5
00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:20,630
Okay, now this one is easy.
6
00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:28,609
Sonar was invented in 1940 by Laurel and
Hardy during the filming of
7
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,690
Saps at Sea.
8
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:35,450
True. Oh, false.
9
00:01:35,451 --> 00:01:40,199
Miss Jefferson, I thought you told me
you memorized all these questions.
10
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,820
I did. It's the answers I didn't
memorize.
11
00:01:42,821 --> 00:01:48,859
Mr. Jefferson, how are you going to be
the hit of Mr. Jefferson's Navy reunion
12
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,970
if you don't know nothing about the
Navy?
13
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:57,539
Florence, for the last time, I don't
want to be the hit of George's Navy
14
00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,600
tonight. And besides, I know what the
Navy's about.
15
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,360
It's a place where young boys train to
be young men.
16
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:09,359
so that they can get together years
later and act like young boys all over
17
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,410
again.
18
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:15,220
Mr. Jefferson, now I'm sure Mr.
Jefferson has grown up by now.
19
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:18,030
Come on, Weas.
20
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,720
Or grown out.
21
00:02:25,721 --> 00:02:30,399
Hurry up, Weasley. The guys will be here
any minute to take us to the hotel. You
22
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,450
gotta get dressed.
23
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,320
I'm already dressed.
24
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,179
What happened to the outfit I picked out
for you?
25
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,620
You mean this?
26
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,490
Yes.
27
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,040
Gee, I don't know.
28
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,780
I thought I'd save this until someone
asked me to do a Popeye impression.
29
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,620
Please, this is a Navy reunion, not a
junior prom.
30
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,400
You see what I look like?
31
00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:01,590
Lars, is anything wrong with the way I'm
dressed?
32
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,220
Now, Mr. Jefferson, you know.
33
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,290
that you and I have different teeth.
34
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,770
I have mine, and you have none.
35
00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:16,550
Well, George, you have to admit, this
shirt is a little small.
36
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,390
Ain't nothing wrong with it.
37
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,010
You know how fabric is.
38
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,730
If you don't wear it for a while, it
tightens up.
39
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:24,790
It just needs time to grow, that's all.
40
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:25,860
Hi,
41
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:27,450
George. Hey. Hi, Louise.
42
00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:30,389
Aw, George, what happened to your
uniform?
43
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:34,279
Doesn't anybody around here know
anything about fabric? What do you want?
44
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,819
actually, Helen sent me down here to
pick up the pantlets she lent you about
45
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:41,759
house on Cape Cod. Okay, Tom, I'll go
get them. Thank you. Oh, Louise, aren't
46
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,140
you forgetting something?
47
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,740
Oh, right.
48
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:54,380
She just put it there so she'd know
where it is.
49
00:03:54,381 --> 00:03:57,539
So you're going to spring for that house
in Cape Cod, huh?
50
00:03:57,540 --> 00:04:00,790
Oh, now, wait a minute, George. The
house hasn't come through yet.
51
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,770
But let me show you the ring that I
bought for Helen today.
52
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,960
Well, uh, if boring me makes you happy.
53
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,330
Not bad, huh?
54
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,450
What is it?
55
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:20,259
It's called a cat's eye opal, and it's
found only in Bolivia. And it's so
56
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,700
there that it has to be smuggled out
between the toes of llamas.
57
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,730
I don't have to tell you how sensitive
the area between a llama's toes can get.
58
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,540
That's right, especially with that heat.
59
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,019
I'll thank you. Well, normally these
babies go anywhere from a hundred bucks
60
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:44,840
up. But this man I met on 8th Avenue, he
was liquidating his entire inventory.
61
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:49,420
And he let me have this one for, you
won't believe it, $25.
62
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,099
It's a marble, Willis. George, you
should have seen his trunk. It was
63
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,240
with them. It's a marble.
64
00:04:56,151 --> 00:04:58,219
A marble?
65
00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:02,980
Yeah! A guy cut a marble in half, and he
glued it on this old cheap band.
66
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,920
See? This scam's been in the newspapers
all week.
67
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,210
A marble?
68
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:11,499
Why, if this is true, then that means
I've been... You've been stung, you've
69
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,810
been ripped off, you've been beaten,
whatever you want to call it.
70
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:17,820
I've been taken to the cleaners.
71
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,440
Now I wouldn't call it that.
72
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,240
What is wrong with you?
73
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,059
You never used to be this big a thugger
before.
74
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:29,020
Oh, well, I guess I just had a temporary
lapse of judgment.
75
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,860
In other words, it was just dumb.
76
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:35,639
Well, all right, I'll give you that,
George. But at least give me some
77
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,479
too. For what?
78
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,219
You should have enough sense not to buy
nothing from somebody over the street.
79
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:42,499
Oh, come on, now. You act as if I did
that all the time. If it happened once,
80
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,139
could happen again. Well, I wasn't
thinking clearly. I was worried about
81
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:48,319
house in Cape Cod, and I had a lot on my
mind. Okay, okay, I'm through with it.
82
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,370
Well, thank you.
83
00:05:50,090 --> 00:05:54,709
Oh, listen, George, since we're on the
subject of rings, would you mind
84
00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:56,310
appraising these other three?
85
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:03,029
I'm telling you, Old Wes was the biggest
coward in the whole Navy. Oh, come on,
86
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:07,329
George. I'm telling you, he was so
scared, when he found out they sent only
87
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:11,090
black guys to the galley, he swore under
oath that he was a mulatto.
88
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:17,350
He even told them he sang with the ink
spots, right? Oh, that's a lie. No, no,
89
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:18,420
no.
90
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,960
We're some Mills brothers.
91
00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:25,139
See, he did that to keep him going
through the front line with you. I'm
92
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,339
you, he was the scariest guy in the
whole Navy.
93
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:31,159
Hey, hey, listen, speaking of the Navy,
now ain't it about time we headed down
94
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,210
to the hotel? Hey, hey, let's keep
going.
95
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:34,490
Hey, hey, hey.
96
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,559
No, no, we're just going to the hotel
now. Come on. Oh, great. Let's get it
97
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,380
with. Oh, I mean, let's go.
98
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,020
I'll get my coat.
99
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,060
Don't slam the closet door too loud.
100
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:49,640
Old West might surrender to the Koreans.
101
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,480
George, what is this?
102
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,419
Oh, that?
103
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,260
Man, you want to hear a great story?
104
00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:59,659
This friend of mine got ripped off over
that ring because he thought it was the
105
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:00,759
real Opal or something.
106
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:01,599
It's a marble.
107
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,650
Yeah, I know.
108
00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:05,719
But could you imagine a grown man
falling for a gag like that?
109
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,979
I don't know, Jefferson. It happens all
the time.
110
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,059
I know, but I didn't think it would
happen to this guy. I mean, he's kind of
111
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:12,959
smart, you know. But, of course, he told
me that he was under some kind of
112
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,010
stress. Why?
113
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,890
Well, he's trying to buy some real
estate up in Cape Cod.
114
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,850
Well, he'll get over it. I mean, he's
eating wax fruit and pulled through.
115
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,419
Well, if I were you, I'd make sure to
warn him. You know what kind of people
116
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,339
out there these days. It ain't my
problem.
117
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:33,239
Oh, sure, it's nobody's problem now, but
you might want to cut it off before it
118
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,779
becomes a problem. What are you getting
at, Tyndall?
119
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:36,830
Nothing much.
120
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,319
But I had a friend a couple of years ago
get ripped off, and I had a chance to
121
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,100
warn him, too. And I didn't. I felt real
bad about it afterwards.
122
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,120
Willis is my best friend, too.
123
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,350
Look,
124
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:51,159
you guys ain't gonna spread this around,
are you? What, about the ring?
125
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,540
No, that he's my best friend.
126
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:56,720
Don't sweat it, George.
127
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:59,340
Hey, I got an idea.
128
00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:05,680
Since he is your best friend, maybe Wes
and me could teach him a lesson.
129
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,180
Warn him for you. Run a game down on
him.
130
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:11,360
Run a game on Willis? Yeah, for his own
good.
131
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,720
All right, wait a minute. We could run
something like...
132
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,610
The pigeon drop.
133
00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:18,250
A pigeon drop?
134
00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:19,990
You know, a pigeon drop?
135
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,310
The old pigeon drop? Yeah.
136
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:25,880
What is it?
137
00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:29,610
I meet up with him someplace.
138
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,570
I strike up a conversation.
139
00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:35,908
And while he's not looking, I drop an
envelope filled with cut -up newspaper,
140
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:39,090
which I pretend is a lot of money I just
found.
141
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:43,669
Well, I'm real nervous about it.
142
00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:49,189
But I say to him, now, if we can just
find some way to keep this bread, I'd be
143
00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:52,809
more than willing to split it with him.
Yeah, that's when I show up like a total
144
00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,870
stranger. And Tyndall will ask me what I
think he should do.
145
00:08:56,190 --> 00:09:01,229
I tell him, well, I'll call a lawyer
friend of mine. So I go into a phone
146
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,890
and piddle around for two minutes and
come back.
147
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:08,690
And I say, legally, the money has to be
documented.
148
00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:15,559
and put in a safe deposit box for 30
days. After that, I tell your friend,
149
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,360
money can be split up any way he wants.
150
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,500
What kind of scam is that?
151
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:24,359
Oh, hey, the scam comes in when Wes's
lawyer also says that we all have to
152
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,980
up with equal shares of good faith
money.
153
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,159
Well, that's to show that we all have
enough money to live on and nobody's
154
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:35,339
to take anything out of the bank before
the 30 days are up. But, see, me and
155
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:38,480
Tyndall will just pretend to come up
with our good faith money.
156
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,539
But your friend will come up with a real
thing. And we'll put it in one
157
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:48,479
envelope. And then, when he's not
looking, we'll switch the envelopes.
158
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,479
with a dummy envelope.
159
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,860
And send him off to the phony lawyer
with it.
160
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,960
And then bring the real envelope with
the money in it back to you. Right.
161
00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,819
And while you're rubbing his face at it,
me and Wes will be on our way to Los
162
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:01,870
Angeles.
163
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,480
That's it?
164
00:10:03,610 --> 00:10:06,200
Man, Willis will smell that kind of game
a mile away.
165
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,090
Ten bucks says he won't. Ten bucks says
he will.
166
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,740
I'll hold the money.
167
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,580
Who'd ever fall for that good faith
money stuff?
168
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,470
Same person who'd buy half a marble.
169
00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:21,109
Besides, if he doesn't go for it, you
know he's not so easy and you don't have
170
00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:24,089
to worry about him, right? Look, I'm
telling you, I've known Willis for ten
171
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:27,640
years. There's no way he's going to go
for this pitch and drop stuff, man.
172
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:30,450
No way. Not a chance. Not a chance in a
million years.
173
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:36,869
So, after I picked up my good faith
money, the man gave me the address of
174
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,750
lawyer and trusted me to carry this over
there.
175
00:10:39,751 --> 00:10:43,109
So that's where you're on your way now,
to take the good faith money over to the
176
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,270
lawyer. Exactly.
177
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:49,289
And that way the lawyer can see it and
know that none of us are going to bother
178
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:53,989
the found money. You amaze me, Willis.
This is absolutely, without a shadow of
179
00:10:53,990 --> 00:10:57,600
doubt, the stupidest thing you have ever
done in your whole stupid life.
180
00:10:57,601 --> 00:11:01,969
You think I should have gone straight to
the lawyers, didn't you? I'm not
181
00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:03,290
talking about the lawyers.
182
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:04,490
There ain't no lawyers.
183
00:11:04,491 --> 00:11:08,489
No lawyers, but they said that... Look,
forget what they said. Just open the
184
00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:09,529
envelope and look inside.
185
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:13,149
What? Open it. You can seal it back when
you finish it. Open it and see what's
186
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:17,330
inside. All right, I'll be glad to. I
know what's inside. My money is in here.
187
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,470
Wait a minute, it's not in here.
188
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,169
There's nothing but newspaper here.
There's been some mistake.
189
00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:23,220
No, there wasn't.
190
00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:26,489
They gave you the wrong envelope on
purpose.
191
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:27,540
You want to know why?
192
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,390
Well, yes, wouldn't you, if you were in
my situation?
193
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,440
Because I got the real envelope.
194
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,490
Those two guys you met were friends of
mine. The whole thing was a scam.
195
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:43,539
Oh, my God. Look, Willis, I'm sorry. I
mean, I didn't think you'd fall for
196
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:44,590
something like this.
197
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,770
I just did it because you're my best
friend.
198
00:11:46,771 --> 00:11:50,539
Look, if this has taught you to be more
careful with your money, I'd be glad to
199
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:51,860
do it all over again, okay?
200
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:53,790
I'll get your money.
201
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,840
Oh, uh, George.
202
00:11:56,460 --> 00:12:00,499
Yeah. Uh, you're not going to tell
anybody else about this, are you? Are
203
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:04,110
kidding? I don't want everybody to know
that I have an idiot for a friend.
204
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,200
Well, thanks, George.
205
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,900
Because if I'd lost that money, Helen
would have killed me.
206
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,780
Friends? Uh, friends.
207
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:16,540
Here, be more careful next time, okay?
Oh.
208
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,780
You see, Willis, I grew up in the
street.
209
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,320
So maybe it's easier for me. I can spot
a con, see?
210
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:24,590
And you know how?
211
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,780
I watch people.
212
00:12:25,781 --> 00:12:29,739
If you watch people carefully enough, a
con will stick up just like a sore
213
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:30,759
thumb.
214
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,310
It all boils down to knowing who to
trust and who not to trust. That's all.
215
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,230
You know all about it, don't you? That's
right.
216
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,020
Then why is this envelope full of
newspaper, too?
217
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:03,939
You see, down at Bunko, one of the
biggest problems we face in something
218
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:07,550
the pigeon drop is the reluctance of the
victim to even report the crime.
219
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,999
I guess they think we just stand around
the squad room and make fun of what
220
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,320
happened. But con games are no laughing
matter to us.
221
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:18,959
I just wanted to explain that so you can
rest assured that we take these things
222
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,320
every bit as personally and as seriously
as you do.
223
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:25,120
Well, thanks a lot, officer. No, no
problem.
224
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:29,420
Now, just what is your relationship with
the fish here?
225
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,440
Best friend.
226
00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:36,510
Huh. Well, I'll just put down something
general.
227
00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:38,750
Any objections to know the guy?
228
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:42,989
Listen, officer, we've already told you
everything we know about the two crooks.
229
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,940
You don't seem to understand. I need to
have that money back.
230
00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:50,129
Mr. Willard, any time something like
this goes down, we're automatically
231
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,450
major complications here.
232
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:54,050
You see, I know you know the two guys.
233
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,970
You know you know the two guys.
234
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,130
But the judge don't know, you know, the
two guys.
235
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,480
But they've got my money.
236
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:01,960
I know it's your money.
237
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,720
You know it's your money.
238
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,710
But the judge don't know it's your
money.
239
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,710
You see what I'm trying to get at? Yes,
you've got a dumb judge.
240
00:14:10,711 --> 00:14:12,499
Wait a second.
241
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,439
You mean to tell me that even if they
catch West and Tyndall, there's no
242
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,219
guarantee that Willis can get his money
back?
243
00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:18,270
You a Mets fan?
244
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:20,790
Yeah. Then you can take this
appointment.
245
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,600
I doubt it very seriously.
246
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,470
But we'll do what we can.
247
00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:26,690
Oh, yeah, sure.
248
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:29,810
Hey, once in a while, these con guys
slip up, you know?
249
00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:35,009
Oh? As a matter of fact, I busted a guy
last night trying to sell me a half a
250
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:36,270
marble glued to some ring.
251
00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:42,250
You wouldn't believe what some people
fall for.
252
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,740
another adventure home, old buddy.
253
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,880
Well, let's see what's good on the tube.
254
00:15:00,881 --> 00:15:05,059
George, do you know what Helen is going
to do to me when she finds out about
255
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:07,939
this? Don't worry about it, Willis.
There's a bright side to everything.
256
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,350
Oh, and tell me, what is the bright side
to this?
257
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,520
Okay, you're broke now, so if she sues
you for alimony, you get off scot -free.
258
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,980
How can you sit there making jokes?
259
00:15:18,981 --> 00:15:22,099
None of this would have happened if you
just minded your own business.
260
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,150
All right, all right.
261
00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:26,339
She'll never have to know. Well, how do
you propose to keep it a secret?
262
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,390
Simple.
263
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,910
I'll just write you a check for the
money you lost.
264
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,550
Okay?
265
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:33,620
All right.
266
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,350
How much is it?
267
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,570
Fifteen.
268
00:15:36,571 --> 00:15:39,359
Fifteen hundred dollars. Well, how could
you be so stupid?
269
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,300
Oh, never mind, never mind. It's my
fault, my fault.
270
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:48,119
Oh, uh, uh, wait a minute, George. It
wasn't fifteen hundred. It was fifteen
271
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,170
thousand.
272
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,320
George, you stop writing.
273
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,100
you'd trust a total stranger with $15
,000.
274
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:14,800
Oh, well, now that the money's gone, I
might as well tell you the whole story.
275
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:18,380
You'll only read it in my obituary
tomorrow anyway.
276
00:16:18,381 --> 00:16:22,859
You see, that money was the money that
Helen and I had been saving for the
277
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:24,519
house. Oh, so there goes the beach
house.
278
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,239
Yeah, well, actually, we'd been saving
for it for six years, but, well, the
279
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,139
development was delayed. We were put on
a waiting list, and then suddenly last
280
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:34,099
month, a real estate man called me and
told me the house was now available.
281
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,180
Oh, I didn't know that.
282
00:16:35,181 --> 00:16:38,789
Oh, and neither does Helen, and I didn't
tell her either, because, well, you
283
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:43,429
see, over the last couple of years, I've
been drawing a little money out of the
284
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,490
account. Uh -huh. Oh, well, now, wait a
minute. Not much, you know, $20 here,
285
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:51,030
$50 there, but I never paid it back.
286
00:16:51,031 --> 00:16:55,069
So when the house became available, I
suddenly found myself very short. And
287
00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:59,390
that's why this found money seemed like
such a good deal to me.
288
00:16:59,391 --> 00:17:02,559
So how long do you have before you have
to make the down payment?
289
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,610
60 days.
290
00:17:03,611 --> 00:17:07,318
With the new money, I figured that would
give me plenty of time. And that way,
291
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,019
Helen would never find out anything
about it. Then we're going to have to
292
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,919
the money back ourselves, Willis. But
how?
293
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,990
The same way they got it from us. We're
going to have to con them.
294
00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:19,019
We'll just have to track those guys down
and pull a con on them that they'll
295
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:19,779
never forget.
296
00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:20,759
Oh, I don't know.
297
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,159
Will you come on, man? We've got to
fight fire with fire.
298
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,739
They conned us, right? We conned them.
They were determined, we're determined.
299
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:30,290
They knew what they wanted, we know what
we want. They were smart, so am I.
300
00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:39,630
Well, that's very intriguing, George,
but you forgot one thing.
301
00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:44,469
What's that? We don't know anything
about con games, except, of course, the
302
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:45,520
pigeon drop.
303
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,900
Why ain't nobody dumb enough to fall for
that?
304
00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:53,780
I know a guy. I still got his phone
number, too.
305
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,790
And this guy knows every con there ever
was, you know?
306
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:59,739
In fact, he's so good, he got me once.
So you know he must be pretty good,
307
00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:00,790
right?
308
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:04,679
Well, what makes you think he'd be
willing to help us? Well, he owes me, he
309
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,730
knows me, and most of all, he respects
me.
310
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:22,660
George, George, he's been doing this for
several minutes now.
311
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:26,800
Do you think we ought to call someone?
312
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,600
Come on, Jimmy.
313
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:31,400
I'm sorry, man.
314
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:37,099
But just the thought of you two falling
for something as lame as the old pigeon
315
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,150
drop.
316
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,860
But I guess it could happen to anybody.
317
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:44,460
Oh, really? I don't believe it. He fell
for that one, too?
318
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,490
Look, Jimmy.
319
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,500
Now, you owe me a favor.
320
00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:53,379
Remember, I loaned you that $10 ,000
that time for school, didn't I? Hey,
321
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,310
not fair. Man, I ripped you off for
that.
322
00:18:55,311 --> 00:18:59,939
Listen, Jimmy, anything you could do,
I'd really appreciate. You see, if my
323
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:02,060
finds out about that... Hey, man, relax.
324
00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:05,919
How is your wife going to find out? She
doesn't even know that the house came
325
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,799
through yet.
326
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,260
Plus, you got a 60 -day extension on
your down payment date.
327
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:14,140
Hell, man, I can sell the Surgeon
General a carton of cigarettes in 60
328
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,060
Hey, that's right.
329
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,150
Oh, this is wonderful. We don't have to
worry about Helen.
330
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,020
Oh, Tom, the house on Cape Cod just came
through.
331
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,880
Isn't that wonderful, George?
332
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:33,040
Yes, well... All right, Jimmy, what are
you doing here?
333
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,720
Uh, I'm back in college working on
another degree.
334
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:41,999
And, uh, I was having a few problems, so
I figured I'd get some help from Dad
335
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,050
and Uncle Tom.
336
00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:48,590
Yes, that's right.
337
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:51,830
Really? What are you studying now?
338
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:53,680
Biology.
339
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:57,750
Of course, of course. It's math and
biology.
340
00:19:58,370 --> 00:20:00,410
It's the science of counting animals.
341
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:07,349
Anyway, I am so excited about the house,
and I wouldn't have known a thing if it
342
00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:08,400
wasn't for Louise.
343
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:12,510
She suggested that I stop sitting around
and to call the broker, so I did.
344
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:13,749
And guess what?
345
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,070
The house came through.
346
00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:16,420
Yes.
347
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,940
Oh, so this is all you're doing, Louise?
348
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,320
Well, I know I shouldn't take all the
credit.
349
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,960
Oh, what the heck. There's just no way
around it.
350
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,960
Oh, but I haven't told you the best
part.
351
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,800
Oh, you mean there's more.
352
00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:35,310
Mm -hmm.
353
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:41,120
I told the real estate agent that we
would bring him the down payment on
354
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:44,390
Monday.
355
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,380
Oh, Tom.
356
00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:53,130
I'm so sorry, but he couldn't do it any
sooner.
357
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:58,170
Are you upset, Puddin'? Nah.
358
00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:09,749
Oh, come on, Helen. I still got
magazines from when we redecorated.
359
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:10,800
to get some ideas.
360
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:13,700
Okay.
361
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,059
Just think that in no time at all, we'll
be hearing the gentle sounds of the
362
00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:26,139
Atlantic lapping at our doorsteps while
the seagulls perch on a brand new
363
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:30,359
mailbox that reads, Property of Tom and
Helen Willis. Oh, honey, isn't that
364
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,840
wonderful? Fabulous!
365
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:42,079
The only perched bird
366
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,180
I see is a buzzard.
367
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,760
Sitting on a tombstone that reads, here
lies Tom Willis.
368
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:53,899
Oh, but there's a P .S. that says, see
the back of this marker for directions
369
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,140
the gravesite of George Jefferson.
370
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:58,550
Oh,
371
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,620
relax. Come on. Look, you gotta help my
man here.
372
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:09,859
But Monday is five days away. I can't
work that fast. Oh, no. Come on, come
373
00:22:09,860 --> 00:22:12,000
look. My man needs his money. He needs
it now.
374
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,480
Look, blow your nose, Willis.
375
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440
Relax, relax, relax.
376
00:22:17,860 --> 00:22:20,990
Come on, look, you gotta help us run a
con game on West Nintendo.
377
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:22,579
You gotta think of something.
378
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:27,000
Yeah, but Mr. Jefferson, the truth is I
don't know that much about con games.
379
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,210
What?
380
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,560
The pigeon drop, sure.
381
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,420
The Spanish prisoner, of course.
382
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,760
The Baltimore bounce, the magic wallet,
and the Kansas City loop, yeah.
383
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:43,420
But if you want to run a real game, you
ought to get yourself an expert.
384
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:48,920
And I can't think of a single person,
Mr. Jefferson, who fits that
385
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,420
There's 500 bucks in it for you.
386
00:22:51,740 --> 00:22:53,420
I just thought of somebody.
387
00:22:55,440 --> 00:23:00,889
Figures. No, no, man, really. See, up
until the time that you just said five,
388
00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:02,430
had forgotten all about it. Oh.
389
00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:07,410
But then it dawned on me that his phone
number starts with a five, right?
390
00:23:07,650 --> 00:23:09,370
And from there, the rest is easy.
391
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:13,210
You did say five, didn't you? Yes, I
did. Yeah, that's him, all right.
392
00:23:15,030 --> 00:23:16,970
May I use your phone? Be my guest.
393
00:23:17,670 --> 00:23:18,720
Oh.
394
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:19,880
Hey.
395
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,110
You say that this Western tenderly
headed back to Los Angeles, right?
396
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:31,919
Perfect. Because my man lived in L .A.,
and if anyone can find him, wherever
397
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,580
they are, he can.
398
00:23:34,971 --> 00:23:37,059
Who is he?
399
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,110
My cousin.
400
00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:40,720
Oh, your cousin.
401
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,510
What happened? You couldn't find your
Aunt Effie?
402
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,520
No, man, really. Hey, he's heavy duty.
403
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:51,240
Oh, sure he is Has he had any experience
in this field at all?
404
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,780
Oh, you might say that
405
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:57,380
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34791
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.