Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the...

But that's the beauty of candy. You never really need it. You just want it.

Hold it.

Do you realize there are 300 calories in that one little piece of chocolate?

Yep. Hold it.

Do you know what that could do to your body?

No. Hold it.

First of all, the sugar will rot your teeth.

Your skin will break out.

Your cholesterol will jump.

And the chemicals and preservatives will probably... Eat out the lining of your

stomach. Enjoy.

I think I'll just go in the kitchen and have a nice piece of celery.

Oh, good for you, Florence.

That's right.

Oh, no appointments? No meetings? That's right.

Oh, great.

Now, for the first time in three weeks, we'll be able to spend a lot of time

together. That's wrong.

I'm going down to Charlie's Bar and unwind with the guys. We're having an

wrestling tournament. They're great.

Oh, really?

Well, if that's what you want, I'll arm wrestle you.

Oh, please, I don't think so.

I'll let you win.

Well...

a piece of my candy.

What difference does it make? It wasn't good for you anyway.

Lawrence, have you got any suggestions how I could get George to spend more

with me?

Sure. Just watch what I do and do the opposite.

I'm serious. He is my husband.

And deal. You go on.

He doesn't seem to have time for me anymore.

We are hardly ever together.

Well, now, Mr. Jefferson, I think there's three things you're not

Number one, you've been married a long time.

Number two, he's a very busy man.

And number three, what a break for you.

Maybe I should ask someone else.

Maybe I should talk to someone who's married.

Sure, rub it in.

Oh, uh, Florence.

No, no, that's okay.

Don't apologize.

The damage is done. I'll just go in the kitchen and see if I can bounce back.

Hey, wait, you see my arm wrestling shoes?

They're right next to your jogging gloves.

Thanks.

Louise, guess what Helen and I have been doing together?

Cooking.

Helen must have called you.

Well, anyway, we're cooking up this big romantic dinner tonight, and I was

wondering if I could borrow your Polaroid camera.

Oh, Polaroid, huh?

Oh, you got a big night plan?

Oh, you bet.

I just love taking a picture of a good meal.

Tom, will you come in, please?

Oh, sure.

I want to ask you a question.

Why, of course. I'm making Chateaubriand for two, and Helen's having chicken.

Tom, I'm a little confused.

Oh, you're confused?

I don't know whether to serve red or white wine.

Actually, I'm... having a little problem, and I was hoping you could help

with it. Oh, why, Louise, by all means. Well, let's stop talking about food.

Hey, Candy.

What's your problem?

Well, I have a problem with George, and I thought I could talk to you about it.

Since you're my friend, I know you would keep it just between us. Oh, Louise,

you can count on me.

I'm no gossip.

If I were, I could tell you about Ed Swartz's mistress.

And his wife's drinking problem.

Oh, she drinks like a fish. Oh, Tom, I... Please, please, Louise, stop

me.

Now, go on. Tell me, what is your problem?

Well, he just doesn't seem to have time for me lately.

Oh, that's rough.

You know, the Rappaports on the 11th floor are going through exactly the same

thing.

Rappaport. Well, they stopped doing things together. Now they both want a

divorce. And they've been sleeping in separate bedrooms since Christmas.

Tom. No, no, no. But please, Louise, don't ask me. I've been sworn to

I'd better get you that camera.

Oh. Well, you know, Louise, when a husband and wife don't make a special

in doing things together, well, before you know it, they're doing things apart.

Here's the camera, Tom.

Oh, thanks.

You know, there was a time when Helen and I were so busy with our own

that we started drifting apart.

So we made a bargain.

We decided that we were going to spend at least one night a week doing

together. Well, the first night was easy.

So, what did you come up with?

Jenny.

Then, after that, we had to use some imagination.

Well, I suggested a lot of things to George, but he just seems to resist it

Now, Louise, this situation demands that you take a stand.

I mean, you've got to be firm. You've got to assert yourself.

You've got to show some backbone.

Just don't mention my name.

Did I just hear Willis leave?

Yes. Good, then I timed it perfect.

Well, Wheeze, I'm off to the tournament. What do you think?

I think... that arm would look good around me.

Now, can I ask you again?

Please stay home. But, Wheeze, I'm doing this for you.

How do you figure that? Well, if I stay here, we'll both be bored. If I go down

there, I won't.

with me lately. Now, I want you to sit down and let's talk about this. All

right. You're really fighting for your rights, ain't you?

Knock it off, okay?

Now, Mr. Jefferson, I know you don't want to hear my opinion. Never did,

will.

And that's exactly why I'm going to give it to you.

Now, if I had a husband, I'd make sure I'd spend some time with him. Yeah, I

see it now, all three of you.

Three of us? Yeah.

You, him, and his CNI doll.

This is what you want to spend some time with?

Yes, I do.

Well, then, child, I'm afraid you need much more help than I can give you.

Look, this is ridiculous.

I mean, what's the problem?

Correct me if I'm wrong. I do love you, don't I?

Love has nothing to do with this. We are talking about marriage.

Well, you know what I mean.

Okay, okay, look.

Now I'm going to stick my neck out. Good.

Then your E .T. invitation will be complete.

Except for one thing. Go home.

I'm going to let that pass.

Well, I'm not. George, will you be quiet for a minute? Now, what were you going

to say, Florence?

Well, it's obvious that you're a sweet, kind, and loving person.

And you, well, I'm a church -going woman, so I'm going to say it.

Anyway, what y 'all should do is just pick a day and spend it together.

That's just what Tom said.

And that's two good reasons to ignore it.

Get out the appointment book. We are making a date. Okay, let's get this over

with, all right? Now, good.

Now we're beginning to make some progress.

Now, how about tomorrow evening?

No, I got the store manager's meeting tomorrow night.

How about Monday?

Oh, no.

That's when the help center's newsletter goes out.

Uh, Tuesday.

Nope. Hang a demonstration.

That's right. Would you think the coach would just climb up there by himself?

How about Wednesday?

No, Wednesday's no good for me.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

No, Wednesday is when we have the banquet for unwed mothers.

And Thursday?

Oh, that's our birth control seminar.

Check Friday.

No, week's Friday, I got to go to the starch convention up in Rochester.

I got to spend the whole weekend up there.

Yeah, I know how you were looking forward to that.

Well, we made an honest attempt to find some time to spend together, but

obviously there is none, so what else can I say except catch you in bed.

Now, listen, George, we are going to do something together, and we are going to

do it right now. Okay, we'll do it. What do you want to do?

Well, I think we should do something that's healthy and fun and give us a

to talk.

I know.

Why don't y 'all wax the floors, take the garbage out, and wash the windows?

And how's that going to help us?

I don't know, but it sure would help me, Chad.

Hey, I got it.

Let's do what Tom and Helen do. No, no, no, no. I refuse to go shopping for

wicker furniture, Weaves.

No, no, no, no. I mean, let's go bicycle riding in the park. Maybe a wicker lamp

wouldn't be too bad.

No, come on, George.

Come on, let's go. You'll love it.

I mean, here's your jacket, and we are going bicycling. Now, George, George,

George, trust me.

This is going to be the greatest time of your life.

Now you want to jump off the balcony?

With any luck, we'll land on somebody. They could have some fun, too, we.

Well, you have to admit, we were having a good time for a while there.

Right, until you had to swerve to miss that basketball from hitting you in the

head. You should let it hit you in the head like a man.

But this would never have happened if you weren't ogling that girl in a short

skirt. I wasn't ogling.

Then how come when you plowed into me, you were muttering mamma jamma?

Look, Weaves, it doesn't matter whose fault it was. The point is we're both

with broken legs, and it's all because of you.

Well, George, there's a good side to everything.

Now we'll be able to spend even more time together.

Oh, come on, George. Let's make the best of it. It could be worse, you know.

Thank goodness we've got Florence to help us out. Oh, yeah, that's right,

Go get her, Wiz.

Spend more time with Mr. Jefferson.

Sincerely, Florence.

P .S. I still say, why?

Oh.

Well, George, we can still have fun.

How?

Oh, well.

Oh, I just thought of something interesting.

Want to know what I read in this magazine the other day? Oh, tell me,

tell me, please.

Average American married couple converses for two minutes a day.

Let's make a concerted effort to just sit here and talk to each other.

to something, and we'll talk about that, all right?

Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

Good. Now, the paper is... Oh, the paper's over there on the desk, which is

nearer to you.

stand on that, George?

Thanks to you, I can't stand at all.

George, we used to have fun.

Remember all the things we used to do?

Yeah, like walk.

No, I mean like playing games.

Why don't we play a nice game now?

Now, see, that's the first decent idea you came up with since you told the cop

to take the bicycle off my leg.

Now, the game is over there in the cabinet, which is near you.

13 triple word gives me 39.

Okay. Oh, wait a minute, George.

What kind of word is phlebnos?

It's an insect.

A poisonous bug.

You mean to tell me you never heard of the South American vampire phlebnos?

it up in the dictionary.

There's no sense in looking it up, Weezer. Just discovered them last year.

Wait a minute. Then how do you know they lived for a hundred years?

Uh, dental records.

Take it off the board, George. Oh, come on, Weezer. I said nothing about your

old stupid word, patenting.

That's yours.

What'd I say it was?

A South American duck who lived...

of those animals, George? Of course not, we. And I'm sure there's a married

couple in South America playing the same game right now arguing over cat.

Now it's your turn.

Oh, wait a minute. I gotta get me some lettuce.

Oh, a Z!

I need it, I need it!

Oh, I feel it. It fell inside my cat.

Oh, come on, we said it was my Z.

Well, so it was yours.

Well, it's too bad now because it's gone.

No, it's not, because I'm going to get it out. Stay on your head.

No.

Okay, we'll get a garden hose, see if we can flush it out.

Look, if you want it that bad, why don't you just cut my leg off?

We'll see if the garden hose works first.

Listen, I know what to do. Where is that hanger you use to scratch your leg? Oh,

good idea.

Here, it is.

All right, now be careful.

Okay. Be careful.

All right.

Take your hand off the hanger.

Oh, now you see that? It's stuck.

Well, that's okay. The cast will be off in a few weeks. I got plenty of hangers.

How am I going to get this out?

Easy. Just lean back, hold your leg up, and shake it.

I can't.

Look, you can't. I'll help you out here.

Now, be careful, George. My leg is broke.

Well, so is mine, George. Don't hear me crying about it.

through this agony for a letter Z that you are not using?

I use it. You see the N?

It's a Z turned sideways.

Forget it, George. That's cheating. Oh, come on. We should just make it because

you lost the game.

No, I'm mad because ever since we were put in the ambulance, you've been doing

nothing but complaining, and I'm sick of it. Well, how about you and your big

idea?

Let's play games.

Let's see who can make a snowman.

We used to cap off our evenings when we were young. Yeah, we're kind of messy

for that, don't you think?

No, no, no. I mean like this.

What?

Shall we?