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1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:04,920
Well, we're moving on up, moving on up,
to the...
2
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But that's the beauty of candy. You
never really need it. You just want it.
3
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Hold it.
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Do you realize there are 300 calories in
that one little piece of chocolate?
5
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Yep. Hold it.
6
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Do you know what that could do to your
body?
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No. Hold it.
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First of all, the sugar will rot your
teeth.
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Your skin will break out.
10
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Your cholesterol will jump.
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And the chemicals and preservatives will
probably... Eat out the lining of your
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stomach. Enjoy.
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I think I'll just go in the kitchen and
have a nice piece of celery.
14
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,200
Oh, good for you, Florence.
15
00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:23,520
That's right.
16
00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:26,630
Oh, no appointments? No meetings? That's
right.
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00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:28,160
Oh, great.
18
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:32,549
Now, for the first time in three weeks,
we'll be able to spend a lot of time
19
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:33,690
together. That's wrong.
20
00:02:33,691 --> 00:02:38,969
I'm going down to Charlie's Bar and
unwind with the guys. We're having an
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00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:40,449
wrestling tournament. They're great.
22
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:41,329
Oh, really?
23
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:43,920
Well, if that's what you want, I'll arm
wrestle you.
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00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:45,650
Oh, please, I don't think so.
25
00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:47,470
I'll let you win.
26
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,300
Well...
27
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,450
a piece of my candy.
28
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,250
What difference does it make? It wasn't
good for you anyway.
29
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:08,699
Lawrence, have you got any suggestions
how I could get George to spend more
30
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,539
with me?
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00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:11,840
Sure. Just watch what I do and do the
opposite.
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00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,600
I'm serious. He is my husband.
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And deal. You go on.
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00:03:23,831 --> 00:03:28,099
He doesn't seem to have time for me
anymore.
35
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,480
We are hardly ever together.
36
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,390
Well, now, Mr. Jefferson, I think
there's three things you're not
37
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,380
Number one, you've been married a long
time.
38
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:39,100
Number two, he's a very busy man.
39
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,520
And number three, what a break for you.
40
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,640
Maybe I should ask someone else.
41
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,200
Maybe I should talk to someone who's
married.
42
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,160
Sure, rub it in.
43
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:56,960
Oh, uh, Florence.
44
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,620
No, no, that's okay.
45
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,350
Don't apologize.
46
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:04,830
The damage is done. I'll just go in the
kitchen and see if I can bounce back.
47
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,070
Hey, wait, you see my arm wrestling
shoes?
48
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,760
They're right next to your jogging
gloves.
49
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,050
Thanks.
50
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,680
Louise, guess what Helen and I have been
doing together?
51
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:24,990
Cooking.
52
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:26,740
Helen must have called you.
53
00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:33,559
Well, anyway, we're cooking up this big
romantic dinner tonight, and I was
54
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,280
wondering if I could borrow your
Polaroid camera.
55
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,820
Oh, Polaroid, huh?
56
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,740
Oh, you got a big night plan?
57
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:44,240
Oh, you bet.
58
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:48,080
I just love taking a picture of a good
meal.
59
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,080
Tom, will you come in, please?
60
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,370
Oh, sure.
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00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,670
I want to ask you a question.
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00:04:56,970 --> 00:05:01,410
Why, of course. I'm making Chateaubriand
for two, and Helen's having chicken.
63
00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:09,050
Tom, I'm a little confused.
64
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:10,610
Oh, you're confused?
65
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,750
I don't know whether to serve red or
white wine.
66
00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:20,289
Actually, I'm... having a little
problem, and I was hoping you could help
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00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:25,470
with it. Oh, why, Louise, by all means.
Well, let's stop talking about food.
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00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:27,190
Hey, Candy.
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00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,130
What's your problem?
70
00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:35,930
Well, I have a problem with George, and
I thought I could talk to you about it.
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00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:40,570
Since you're my friend, I know you would
keep it just between us. Oh, Louise,
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00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:41,950
you can count on me.
73
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,760
I'm no gossip.
74
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:47,300
If I were, I could tell you about Ed
Swartz's mistress.
75
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,470
And his wife's drinking problem.
76
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:55,049
Oh, she drinks like a fish. Oh, Tom,
I... Please, please, Louise, stop
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00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,100
me.
78
00:05:57,830 --> 00:06:00,330
Now, go on. Tell me, what is your
problem?
79
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:04,170
Well, he just doesn't seem to have time
for me lately.
80
00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:06,270
Oh, that's rough.
81
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:10,889
You know, the Rappaports on the 11th
floor are going through exactly the same
82
00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:11,940
thing.
83
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,419
Rappaport. Well, they stopped doing
things together. Now they both want a
84
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:24,000
divorce. And they've been sleeping in
separate bedrooms since Christmas.
85
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:29,100
Tom. No, no, no. But please, Louise,
don't ask me. I've been sworn to
86
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,900
I'd better get you that camera.
87
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:38,019
Oh. Well, you know, Louise, when a
husband and wife don't make a special
88
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:42,050
in doing things together, well, before
you know it, they're doing things apart.
89
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,680
Here's the camera, Tom.
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00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:47,970
Oh, thanks.
91
00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:51,339
You know, there was a time when Helen
and I were so busy with our own
92
00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:52,900
that we started drifting apart.
93
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,600
So we made a bargain.
94
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:59,379
We decided that we were going to spend
at least one night a week doing
95
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:01,940
together. Well, the first night was
easy.
96
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,700
So, what did you come up with?
97
00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:06,110
Jenny.
98
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,780
Then, after that, we had to use some
imagination.
99
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:17,780
Well, I suggested a lot of things to
George, but he just seems to resist it
100
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:21,050
Now, Louise, this situation demands that
you take a stand.
101
00:07:21,051 --> 00:07:23,519
I mean, you've got to be firm. You've
got to assert yourself.
102
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,140
You've got to show some backbone.
103
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,720
Just don't mention my name.
104
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,280
Did I just hear Willis leave?
105
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:34,700
Yes. Good, then I timed it perfect.
106
00:07:34,701 --> 00:07:38,699
Well, Wheeze, I'm off to the tournament.
What do you think?
107
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:43,900
I think... that arm would look good
around me.
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00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,980
Now, can I ask you again?
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00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,850
Please stay home. But, Wheeze, I'm doing
this for you.
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00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:56,179
How do you figure that? Well, if I stay
here, we'll both be bored. If I go down
111
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:57,230
there, I won't.
112
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:06,389
with me lately. Now, I want you to sit
down and let's talk about this. All
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00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:09,340
right. You're really fighting for your
rights, ain't you?
114
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:11,260
Knock it off, okay?
115
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:18,329
Now, Mr. Jefferson, I know you don't
want to hear my opinion. Never did,
116
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,380
will.
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00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:23,080
And that's exactly why I'm going to give
it to you.
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00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:28,749
Now, if I had a husband, I'd make sure
I'd spend some time with him. Yeah, I
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00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,070
see it now, all three of you.
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00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,460
Three of us? Yeah.
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00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,340
You, him, and his CNI doll.
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00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:45,900
This is what you want to spend some time
with?
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00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:49,310
Yes, I do.
124
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:53,150
Well, then, child, I'm afraid you need
much more help than I can give you.
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00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:54,980
Look, this is ridiculous.
126
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,520
I mean, what's the problem?
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00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,870
Correct me if I'm wrong. I do love you,
don't I?
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00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,500
Love has nothing to do with this. We are
talking about marriage.
129
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,180
Well, you know what I mean.
130
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,200
Okay, okay, look.
131
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:10,830
Now I'm going to stick my neck out.
Good.
132
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:13,380
Then your E .T. invitation will be
complete.
133
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,240
Except for one thing. Go home.
134
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,000
I'm going to let that pass.
135
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:33,289
Well, I'm not. George, will you be quiet
for a minute? Now, what were you going
136
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:34,249
to say, Florence?
137
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:38,090
Well, it's obvious that you're a sweet,
kind, and loving person.
138
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:43,790
And you, well, I'm a church -going
woman, so I'm going to say it.
139
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:49,270
Anyway, what y 'all should do is just
pick a day and spend it together.
140
00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:51,210
That's just what Tom said.
141
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,540
And that's two good reasons to ignore
it.
142
00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:58,039
Get out the appointment book. We are
making a date. Okay, let's get this over
143
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,360
with, all right? Now, good.
144
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,830
Now we're beginning to make some
progress.
145
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,120
Now, how about tomorrow evening?
146
00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:07,779
No, I got the store manager's meeting
tomorrow night.
147
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:08,830
How about Monday?
148
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:10,230
Oh, no.
149
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,860
That's when the help center's newsletter
goes out.
150
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,460
Uh, Tuesday.
151
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,280
Nope. Hang a demonstration.
152
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,210
That's right. Would you think the coach
would just climb up there by himself?
153
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:31,740
How about Wednesday?
154
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,460
No, Wednesday's no good for me.
155
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,770
Oh,
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00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:36,710
I'm sorry.
157
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:44,940
No, Wednesday is when we have the
banquet for unwed mothers.
158
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,620
And Thursday?
159
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,380
Oh, that's our birth control seminar.
160
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,290
Check Friday.
161
00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:57,130
No, week's Friday, I got to go to the
starch convention up in Rochester.
162
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,830
I got to spend the whole weekend up
there.
163
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:03,740
Yeah, I know how you were looking
forward to that.
164
00:11:03,741 --> 00:11:08,299
Well, we made an honest attempt to find
some time to spend together, but
165
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,790
obviously there is none, so what else
can I say except catch you in bed.
166
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,899
Now, listen, George, we are going to do
something together, and we are going to
167
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,940
do it right now. Okay, we'll do it. What
do you want to do?
168
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:29,039
Well, I think we should do something
that's healthy and fun and give us a
169
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:29,979
to talk.
170
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,030
I know.
171
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:38,080
Why don't y 'all wax the floors, take
the garbage out, and wash the windows?
172
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,440
And how's that going to help us?
173
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,710
I don't know, but it sure would help me,
Chad.
174
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,480
Hey, I got it.
175
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,919
Let's do what Tom and Helen do. No, no,
no, no. I refuse to go shopping for
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00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,240
wicker furniture, Weaves.
177
00:11:53,699 --> 00:11:58,039
No, no, no, no. I mean, let's go bicycle
riding in the park. Maybe a wicker lamp
178
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,090
wouldn't be too bad.
179
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:00,540
No, come on, George.
180
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,200
Come on, let's go. You'll love it.
181
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,880
I mean, here's your jacket, and we are
going bicycling. Now, George, George,
182
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:09,220
George, trust me.
183
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:13,400
This is going to be the greatest time of
your life.
184
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,030
Now you want to jump off the balcony?
185
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:01,360
With any luck, we'll land on somebody.
They could have some fun, too, we.
186
00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:10,050
Well, you have to admit, we were having
a good time for a while there.
187
00:13:10,051 --> 00:13:13,269
Right, until you had to swerve to miss
that basketball from hitting you in the
188
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,800
head. You should let it hit you in the
head like a man.
189
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:27,199
But this would never have happened if
you weren't ogling that girl in a short
190
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,800
skirt. I wasn't ogling.
191
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:33,040
Then how come when you plowed into me,
you were muttering mamma jamma?
192
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,819
Look, Weaves, it doesn't matter whose
fault it was. The point is we're both
193
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,110
with broken legs, and it's all because
of you.
194
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:48,160
Well, George, there's a good side to
everything.
195
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,840
Now we'll be able to spend even more
time together.
196
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:59,300
Oh, come on, George. Let's make the best
of it. It could be worse, you know.
197
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,600
Thank goodness we've got Florence to
help us out. Oh, yeah, that's right,
198
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:04,790
Go get her, Wiz.
199
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,620
Spend more time with Mr. Jefferson.
200
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,240
Sincerely, Florence.
201
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,440
P .S. I still say, why?
202
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,650
Oh.
203
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,680
Well, George, we can still have fun.
204
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:12,990
How?
205
00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:14,619
Oh, well.
206
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,910
Oh, I just thought of something
interesting.
207
00:15:16,911 --> 00:15:20,819
Want to know what I read in this
magazine the other day? Oh, tell me,
208
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:21,870
tell me, please.
209
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,120
Average American married couple
converses for two minutes a day.
210
00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:44,260
Let's make a concerted effort to just
sit here and talk to each other.
211
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,080
to something, and we'll talk about that,
all right?
212
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,590
Just thinking about it gives me
goosebumps.
213
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:48,119
Good. Now, the paper is... Oh, the
paper's over there on the desk, which is
214
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,300
nearer to you.
215
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:32,610
stand on that, George?
216
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,230
Thanks to you, I can't stand at all.
217
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,810
George, we used to have fun.
218
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,950
Remember all the things we used to do?
219
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,810
Yeah, like walk.
220
00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:51,090
No, I mean like playing games.
221
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:53,830
Why don't we play a nice game now?
222
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:57,249
Now, see, that's the first decent idea
you came up with since you told the cop
223
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,690
to take the bicycle off my leg.
224
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:05,370
Now, the game is over there in the
cabinet, which is near you.
225
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:41,390
13 triple word gives me 39.
226
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:44,630
Okay. Oh, wait a minute, George.
227
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:47,090
What kind of word is phlebnos?
228
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:51,480
It's an insect.
229
00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:53,030
A poisonous bug.
230
00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:57,860
You mean to tell me you never heard of
the South American vampire phlebnos?
231
00:20:08,731 --> 00:20:10,789
it up in the dictionary.
232
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:14,460
There's no sense in looking it up,
Weezer. Just discovered them last year.
233
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:19,750
Wait a minute. Then how do you know they
lived for a hundred years?
234
00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:21,670
Uh, dental records.
235
00:20:21,671 --> 00:20:26,809
Take it off the board, George. Oh, come
on, Weezer. I said nothing about your
236
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,190
old stupid word, patenting.
237
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,240
That's yours.
238
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,380
What'd I say it was?
239
00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:34,910
A South American duck who lived...
240
00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:44,009
of those animals, George? Of course not,
we. And I'm sure there's a married
241
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,680
couple in South America playing the same
game right now arguing over cat.
242
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:50,970
Now it's your turn.
243
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:54,310
Oh, wait a minute. I gotta get me some
lettuce.
244
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:57,580
Oh, a Z!
245
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:58,940
I need it, I need it!
246
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:02,510
Oh, I feel it. It fell inside my cat.
247
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:05,170
Oh, come on, we said it was my Z.
248
00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:06,710
Well, so it was yours.
249
00:21:06,711 --> 00:21:09,319
Well, it's too bad now because it's
gone.
250
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,390
No, it's not, because I'm going to get
it out. Stay on your head.
251
00:21:14,891 --> 00:21:16,959
No.
252
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,730
Okay, we'll get a garden hose, see if we
can flush it out.
253
00:21:20,620 --> 00:21:24,140
Look, if you want it that bad, why don't
you just cut my leg off?
254
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,930
We'll see if the garden hose works
first.
255
00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:32,859
Listen, I know what to do. Where is that
hanger you use to scratch your leg? Oh,
256
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:33,599
good idea.
257
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,650
Here, it is.
258
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,400
All right, now be careful.
259
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,950
Okay. Be careful.
260
00:21:37,951 --> 00:21:38,969
All right.
261
00:21:38,970 --> 00:21:40,710
Take your hand off the hanger.
262
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:44,810
Oh, now you see that? It's stuck.
263
00:21:45,150 --> 00:21:49,050
Well, that's okay. The cast will be off
in a few weeks. I got plenty of hangers.
264
00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:52,670
How am I going to get this out?
265
00:21:53,110 --> 00:21:55,850
Easy. Just lean back, hold your leg up,
and shake it.
266
00:21:56,770 --> 00:21:57,950
I can't.
267
00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:00,550
Look, you can't. I'll help you out here.
268
00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:03,550
Now, be careful, George. My leg is
broke.
269
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,620
Well, so is mine, George. Don't hear me
crying about it.
270
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,060
through this agony for a letter Z that
you are not using?
271
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,900
I use it. You see the N?
272
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:37,780
It's a Z turned sideways.
273
00:22:37,781 --> 00:22:44,279
Forget it, George. That's cheating. Oh,
come on. We should just make it because
274
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,330
you lost the game.
275
00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:51,619
No, I'm mad because ever since we were
put in the ambulance, you've been doing
276
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:55,019
nothing but complaining, and I'm sick of
it. Well, how about you and your big
277
00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:55,979
idea?
278
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:57,030
Let's play games.
279
00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:13,830
Let's see who can make a snowman.
280
00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:49,199
We used to cap off our evenings when we
were young. Yeah, we're kind of messy
281
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,520
for that, don't you think?
282
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,940
No, no, no. I mean like this.
283
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,450
What?
284
00:23:56,411 --> 00:23:58,509
Shall we?
285
00:23:58,510 --> 00:24:03,060
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