All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s09e24 Double Trouble.eng

Well, we're moving on up, we're moving
on up, too deep down, moving on up, to a

deep...

Ask what you were doing.

Well, I'm watching that TV program,
Consumer Watchdog, with Leontine

And I'm doing some product testing right
along with the show.

Did you know that a Digifax wash can
stay in a high -speed blender for ten

minutes and still come out ticking?

No. But I didn't know you owned a
Digifax wash.

Oh, I don't. It's yours.

I wish you would have asked me first.

But I guess it's good to know that my
watch can survive something like that.

Too bad we can't say the same thing for
the blender.

Oh, look, she's getting ready to do the
Spongebob paper towel strength test.

This watch had two hands.

But at least you can tell us either day.

Oh, watch this.

For our next report on Consumer
Watchdog, the test you've all been

Spongebob towels.

In fact, the mighty towel, as the
commercials claim.

Well, let's find out.

First, we'll wet the towel.

Here, hold this paper towel.

Then we place a coffee cup on it.

We got a coffee cup?

Oh, that's okay. We'll use your watch.

Can't you be like everybody else and
watch Phil Donahue?

Isn't that a disgrace?

Another case of misrepresentation on the
part of a nationally advertised

product? If this reporter had her way,
Sponjo wouldn't sell another paper towel

ever in this or any other country.

But on a brighter note, our show doesn't
only point out the bad guys. We also

believe in giving the good guys a little
recognition.

So this week's Consumer Watchdog pat on
the back goes to a businessman who shows

he cares about the consumer.

Wait, is that all you got to do is watch
television all day?

George, it was Florence who was
watching. Oh, sure.

Blame it on the maid.

You ought to see that watch you gave
her.

Go ahead, blame that on me, too.

That Cunningham cleaners was trying to
drive me out of business again.

Oh, George, please. Not Cunningham
again.

Yeah. Now, you know what he's doing?
He's got this celebrity campaign.

He's got this dumb soap opera star
trying to promote his business.

Oh, so who did he get?

Well, his name is, uh, Kent Tobin.

Kent Tobin!

Kent Tobin! Not the Kent Tobin.

Kent Tobin from Mornings of Our Night.
Oh.

The one that all the nurses are in love
with.

Child, even Lucille, who is blind, is in
love with his aftershave.

Kent Tobin!

You mean Kent Tobin is that Cunningham's
child? Oh!

I think she's heard of him. Oh, come on,
Weezy.

Pretty soon, Cunningham is going to take
my business away. I won't have any

reason to go down there. I have to close
early. I have to close on weekends.

Come on, Weezy, you've got to help me.
The next thing you know, I have to spend

all my time with you.

I've got to help you. Look, relax.

Now, nobody's going out of their way to
take their clothes to Cunningham just

because Kent Tobin says so.

Wonder where she's going with.

Oh, George, Florence is just one person.

Yeah, well, suppose the whole world was
full of Florences.

Oh, sure, we'd be safe from enemy
attack.

Then I'd be out of business.

George, you're blowing this all out of
proportion.

It is only one newspaper ad.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Florence ain't like people.

Well, the point is, nobody's going to
take Cunningham's promotion seriously.

George, I just saw Kent Tobin at
Cunningham's.

Oh, don't worry, George. He'll be there
all week.

Isn't that right, Helen?

Uh, Helen?

He touched me.

Oh, I got his autograph.

And, George, he even talked to me. I
told him I was a publisher, and he said,

next.

Oh, what a kidder.

Helen, I can't believe a grown -up
acting like this over a soap opera star.

What's gotten into you?

He touched me.

Weezy, I'm dead.

Oh, come on, George.

So people are flocking to Cunningham's.
I mean, how much is a flock?

Well, from what I saw at Cunningham's,
I'd say three, four hundred tops.

See that? I'm ruined. Cunningham's gonna
bury me.

Oh, now, George, don't worry.

Now, let's put on our thinking caps and
see if we can come up with something.

Now, if you were in a war and you were
being outgunned, you'd get a bigger

cannon. And if you were being beaten in
a horse race, well, you'd get a faster

horse. And now that you're being
outpromoted, gee, I don't know what to

you.

You know, Willis, you're a genius.

Really? No, but you gave me a good idea.

Now I'm going to beat Cunningham at his
own...

game. I'm going to out -promote him.
It's going to be the biggest thing that

ever hit this town.

What are you going to do?

I don't know exactly, but I see
confetti.

George, there's no need for you to
compete just to see who can come up with

big promotion.

Now, you offer quality service at fair
prices, and that's the way to run a

business. Right, Helen?

Oh, no.

He touched me.

never guess who we saw at Cunningham's.

Kent Tobin?

Yeah.

And you know what he did?

He touched you.

Were you there?

No, and neither would you and him if you
were our friends.

Well, now, George, if this Kent Tobin
promotion is really bothering you,

have to fight fire with fire. Just go
out and find a celebrity of your own.

What are you talking about? I can't
afford no celebrity.

Hey, wait a minute.

What about Tony Orlando and Dawn, Weez?

Do you know Tony Orlando and Dawn?

Well, no, but this guy came into the
store the other day and said that his

father was the plumber of Dawn, the
short Dawn.

He seemed like an all right guy. I mean,
he didn't just come out and say it. He

didn't brag or nothing. He just sort of
slipped into the conversation.

George, nobody is coming to Jefferson
Cleaners just to see some son of a

plumber.

Yeah, I guess you're right. It's his
father or nothing.

Well, George, we'd love to stay and
help, but we're on our way to lunch at

Terraza.

You never know.

We might see some celebrities there.

Oh, sweetheart, don't you think we've
had our fill of celebrities for one day?

Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that the place
that serves a succulent duckling

sautéed in white wine with olives?

Mm -hmm.

Okay.

Where can we get a celebrity cheap?

Hey, I wonder what the Beaver's doing
today.

George, for the last time, you don't
need celebrities.

Okay, you know a good animal act?

Look, you want a good promotion?

I'll give you a good promotion.

Now, this letter just came today.

And it says, Dear Mr.

Jefferson, Just a note to thank you for
your honesty.

Many other cleaners would have kept the
$10 they found in my pants pocket, but

you returned it along with my clothes,
which were sparkling clean as usual.

Signed, your customer forever, Hank the
Most.

So, why don't you use this in your
advertisement?

You don't have no sense of advertising.

That letter don't mean nothing.

Why? It's the truth.

I know, but who's going to believe that?

They'll just think it's the best lie I
could come up with.

Oh, George, don't be ridiculous. You
should take this letter and hang it in

store downstairs.

Better yet, you should hang it in all
your stores.

I'll go out and get you some copies
made.

Oh, great. That's going to bring them
right in.

You'll see. I don't need copies of
letters. I need celebrities.

I know where to get them, too.

love your aftershave.

Yes, you have, Lucille.

And by the way, I'm over here.

Sorry, Kent.

Well, that's all right, Lucille.

At least now I know you love me for me
and not just my fabulous good looks.

I love your looks too, Kent.

So do I, Lucille.

So do I, child.

George, I've got the copies.

Is George here?

Not now, Miss Jefferson. Kent's about to
propose to Lucille.

Lucille, would you be my, my... Say it,
Kent.

Would you be my sponsor in the 10K run?

Miss Jefferson, I'll have you know you
just turned off a personal friend of

mine. Well, I'm sorry.

I'll apologize to him in the next
episode.

And another thing, Florence, I wouldn't
show that picture to George. I'm trying

to get him off of this celebrity kick.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson. And you are not
exactly helping.

Now, I don't want to hear another word
about celebrities, TV stars, or

personalities, because, frankly, I'm
sick of it.

the way we were.

You're... I'm tired of standing here,
man.

Might I have a seat?

Whatever you want to do, you do.

Do you know who you are?

You're the Sundance Kid.

You're the sting.

You're... We've already been through
that.

Might I have a seat?

Whatever you want to do, child, you do.

Oh, Florence, we've already been over
that, too. Please sit.

Can I get you anything?

Drink? Sandwich? An Oscar?

Nothing, thanks.

May I ask you one question? Are you
really this good -looking in person?

I'm here to see Mr.

Jefferson.

Before you do that, I have just one
question.

Do you remember Butch Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid?

Yeah. Well, would you go someplace with
me so my friends could see us together?

Lawrence!

Will you stop? You're embarrassing him.

Now, we have an extra room, and it's
yours for the rest of your life.

You want me to get that?

No.

I'll talk to him last. It's my turn.

Well, okay.

But whoever it is, I'll get rid of them.

Now, just don't say anything famous
while I'm gone.

I'm sorry, but we have business.

Well,

there's someone in here you've just got
to meet.

Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

Not you.

Bob, Liza.

Liza Bob with a Z.

How's it there?

Uh, excuse me.

I just had a great idea.

Why don't the three of us make a movie
together?

Excuse me, is Mr. Jefferson here?

Who?

I get it.

It's my job. It's my house.

Paper covers rock.

George Jefferson?

Oh, who ain't?

Oh, please come in and sit anywhere.

So, Bob, what is this bug you've got for
directing?

I mean, child, you belong in front of
the camera.

Lady, look, I'm here to see Mr.
Jefferson. Can you tell me when he's

Why do y 'all want to see Mr. Jefferson?
I mean, you two are famous.

Uh, three?

Whatever.

Hey, Weez. Hey, hi, everybody.

Just cool your heels. I'll be with you
in a minute.

George. Oh, please excuse my husband's
rudeness.

He's even worse to nobodies.

George, I thought you said you couldn't
afford celebrities.

How in the world did you get these two?

Three.

Whatever.

How? They needed to work.

They did?

Well, I...

things were tough in Hollywood, but I
never... Oh, I understand.

You thought they were real.

I never thought you were as dumb as the
rest of the people.

These are look -alikes. Can't you tell?

Well, yes.

I hate to burst your bubble, but they
don't look a thing like they're supposed

to.

Wait a minute.

You mean you two?

Three.

Ain't real.

Now she includes me.

Well, I hate to tell you this, child,
but your hair is all wrong.

And your nose is way too small.

And you, you poor thing, you look just
like him.

Okay, now, I want you to listen up,
everybody.

And I will explain why I brought you all
here today for the I Love Jefferson

Cleaners Celebrity Campaign.

Uh, George, I don't understand.

Why would people care where a celebrity
lookalike gets their clothes cleaned?

See, Weez, you're acting like the
general public again.

I'm not going to tell anybody that
they're lookalikes.

You mean you're going to use these
people in your advertising without

that they're fakes?

They're not fake.

They were born with these faces.

The only difference between dishonest
and honest is an extra syllable.

George, I'm not letting you go through
with this.

Why not? Cunningham's doing it.

No, he's not. He's using a real star.

You are using people who look like
stars, and you know what that makes you?

lot smarter than Cunningham.

Plus, I'll be the most famous cleaner in
the city, in the country. And in the

penitentiary.

Don't pay no attention. She don't know
what she's talking about. In a

penitentiary, they have their own
cleaning.

Okay.

Now, let's get to work.

Hey, we... You never guess what happened
today.

You found a George Jefferson look -alike
to go to jail for you.

No, but you know that ain't a bad idea.

You never guess who came to the store
today.

George, I don't really care.

Now, I know I've been after you for two
days.

But please don't go through with this
celebrity campaign.

It could ruin you.

But, Wheezy, you know, oh, you know that
consumer watchdog program that comes on

every day with Leontine Farrell?

Well, Florence watches it sometimes.

Well, she came into the store today, and
she wants me to be on her show.

Did she say why?

Yeah. She's giving me the consumer
watchdog pat on the back. It's an award

the service I've been doing for the
people for the last 15 years.

Well, I hope the subject of your
celebrity campaign doesn't come up.

you'll find yourself on another show
like the dry cleaner of Alcatraz.

No! That's the beauty of it. The ad
doesn't come out until tomorrow. The

interview will be over by then.

It will?

Yeah, she's right downstairs now with
the cameraman and crew.

Ain't that great?

Well, I wish you luck.

And I sure hope you know what you're
doing. Look, don't worry, okay?

Oh, that's her now.

Now, remember, this is my shining
moment, so don't block my light.

Of course, you can feel free to hover
lovingly in the background, okay?

Why, Miss Farrell, come in.

Thank you, and you call me Leontine. Oh,
this is my wife, Louise.

Hello. Pleased to meet you.

Oh, by the way, this is my good side.

Oh, what am I saying? I don't have a bad
side.

Oh, Mrs. Jefferson, may I say this is an
absolutely beautiful apartment.

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. This
is a reward for my millions of

satisfied customers.

Oh, and I meant to tell you, Mr.
Jefferson, I bring my clothes to your

You have always done excellent work.
Why, thank you. I hate to brag, but I

mind if you do.

Mrs. Jefferson, will you be joining us
for the interview?

Oh, no, no.

I'd rather just hover lovingly in the
background.

She's a nice wife.

Well, everything seems fine. Let's go
over a couple of things you told me.

Let's see.

You were born the son of a sharecropper.

I'll tell the audience that. No, no, no,
no. Those are my lines. I'll tell them.

Look, why don't we do it over here in
front of the window, see?

We have, like, all of New York behind
us, right? That makes me look more

powerful.

Oh, yeah, look.

See if you can slip cranberry stains in.
I got stories about that that'll kill

you.

Okay, Mr. Jefferson.

Oh, I can see you're a lively subject.
I'm sure we're going to have a good

Oh, why, thank you.

Oh, are we ready?

Ready, Mr. Jefferson? I was born ready.

All right, then, let's begin.

Good afternoon.

We are in the home of George Jefferson,
the owner of Jefferson Cleaners. Mr.

Jefferson, I... I stand here and I look
at you and I think, here is a man who

has been in business for 15 years.

He's successful.

He's respected.

And I say to myself, why?

Why does a man want to perpetrate a
fraud on the people of New York? Why,

Jefferson?

Would you put the microphone down a
minute? I want to talk to you about

I have signed affidavits from various
celebrities stating that they have never

been to any of your stores, yet you are
about to run ads claiming that they are

your satisfied customers.

Can you explain that, Mr. Jefferson?

Uh, well, I thought I was supposed to
get a pat on the back. This doesn't seem

like a pat on the back.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Mr. Jefferson, you're a real fraud.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think that's
pretty much an open admission of guilt.

Another crook put to rest.

This is Leontine Farrell, your consumer
watchdog, saying, when the bad guys take

a bite out of you, bite back.

So long for now.

I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson.

You've got to do your job, and I've got
to do mine.

Of course, tomorrow I'll still have
mine.

Have a nice day.

Was that a normal pat on the back, or
did I just get slunk upside the head?

Well, George, you can't say I didn't try
to stop you. Oh, boy.

This is it.

When this hits the air, I'm going to
prison.

I'll never do anything dumb or dishonest
again with you. Honest, honest, honest.

Which is sad, because now I can't even
bribe myself out of prison.

So, in other words, if you had all this
to do over again...

You would run an honest ad campaign?

Definitely. As sure as I'm a former dry
cleaner and a future license plate

maker.

That's all I wanted to hear.

Miss McDonald.

That's not Miss McDonald. That's
Leontine Farrell.

No, it's not. But she certainly looks
like her, doesn't she?

her from the same lookalike agency that
you use.

How could you do that?

Credit card.

Oh, and thanks for hiring me. By the
way, I'm also available for parties,

funerals, and bar mitzvahs.

Oh, and I juggle. Really?

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