All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s09e08 Death Smiles on a Dry Cleaner 1

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up.
To the side. Moving on up. To a deep.

things for me because, well, over the
years, I've given him my fair share of

business. Fair share?

Why, Tom, your patronage alone has put
Dominic Jr.

through college.

Well, anyway, the cake looks perfect.

Happy birthday, Gorge.

The name George is loaded with E's.
Look, there's one there at the end.

Well, at least all he ate was an E and
not one of those six great -looking

roses.

Six? I ordered 12 roses.

I just can't wait to see the look on
George's face when we yell surprise.

Oh, and he should be even more surprised
when he opens his gifts.

Oh, I sure hope so.

You know, it's not easy shopping for
George. What do you get for the man who

already has everything?

Another E.

Well, I bought him a nice present. Oh,
what did you get him?

A can of soup.

Well, Helen and I bought him a set of
whodunit books. We didn't have to think

twice about what to buy him since he
became such a mystery buff.

I got a mystery for him. He should solve
the case of his missing hair.

Well, Louise, nothing is going to come
close to your gift. You really outdid

yourself this year. Oh, thank you,
Helen. I think so, too.

Say, why don't we all go in the living
room?

George should be home any second. Over.

Well, then we got him Appointment with
Death.

That's too bad. He's read that, too.

He has?

Well, how about that Edgar Thornton
classic, The Captain Wore Nylons?

I'm afraid he's read that, too.

I wonder where George is.

In here waiting for a decent present.

How did you get in here?

Probably snuck in through the keyhole.

Hey, Clark, thanks for the seat.

Where is it?

I put it at the same place you put the
mustache wax I gave you for your

birthday.

Come on, Weezy, where's my great
present? Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Now, wait a minute. I thought the plan
was to have our cake first.

Weezy, just put the cake in the trough
for him and give him my present.

Go ahead, Weezy.

Give it to him.

And I'm not talking about his present.

Happy birthday, George.

Here.

An envelope?

What is it? What could I possibly want
that would fit into an envelope?

A new suit?

A cruise, George. But not just any
cruise.

We are booked on the inaugural launching
of the Caribbean mystery ship. It's

brand new. You'll love it. You go out
for three days on a yacht.

and the captain and the crew provide a
made -up mystery, then you and the other

passengers try to solve it. Wheeze, this
is great.

Not only that, but the other passengers
are going to be some of the most famous

mystery writers in the world, your
favorite.

And the fun will be to see who can solve
the crime first.

Me and the greatest crime -solving minds
in the world.

Yeah, it's kind of like Daffy Duck goes
to Congress.

Great. Wait, the Willis was going with
us?

No. This is fantastic.

Unless it would just be you, me, and
Florence.

Florence? I don't know. Some of those
sailors ain't seen a woman for years,

know.

Oh, but she'll be safe.

Just one thing, George.

In order to get you booked on this
cruise, I had to tell everybody you were

mystery writer.

Do you think you'll be able to pull it
off?

Me lie.

Hold it a minute, please.

I'll check.

Excuse me?

Tom, Helen, I'd like to say thank you
for your presence, and you also are very

dear, dear friends.

Well, our pleasure, George.

Line is no problem.

Stuart?

Everything in order?

Oh, yes, sir. We've seen to every
detail. I know how much you want our

voyage to be perfect. That's right.

Now, you can see from the passenger list
that all our guests are distinguished,

sophisticated... and accustomed to
nothing but the best.

Hello, Captain.

Nice tub you got here.

It's his birthday.

Oh, and I can see he's wearing all his
presents.

Well, my name is Captain Marshall
Monaghan, and this is my chief steward,

Garrity. George Jefferson, author of
that classic bestseller, The Fifth War

Starts.

This is my wife, Louise, and this is
Florence. We brought her along as shark

repellent.

It's a pleasure.

You know, I was in the Navy myself
during the Korean War.

Sometimes I think if I'd stayed in, I'd
have been a captain today myself.

And we'd all be speaking Korean.

Yes, well, now, if you'll forgive me, I
must go and prepare for tonight's

mystery.

I hope you all have a very pleasant
voyage. And good luck, Mr. Jefferson, at

solving our little crime.

Good luck, you say?

I just might have it solved before it's
even started. I'm that good?

Yes, sir.

Whatever you say, sir.

Come on, George. Let's go to our cabin.

Not a chance, Weave. Some of the
greatest mystery writers in the world

to be on this ship. And I want to see
them all when they come on.

Oh, don't look, Weave. Where?

Over there.

It's Edgar Thornton, my most favorite
writer of all time.

With any luck, this mystery cruise could
turn into a pleasure cruise for me.

Not a chance, Florence. He's not
carrying a white cane. Obviously, he

George, didn't you tell me that Edgar
Thornton writes mysteries based on the

lives of real people? Yeah, he just
changes the name. See, half of the fun

reading his books is finding out who the
characters really are.

Say, Ed, in your book, Capital Caper...

Who did you base your main character on?
You know, the president who got caught

spying on the other party during the
election?

Was he real?

Yeah.

Are you?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I'm George Jefferson, author of In My
Nine, Dead by Five.

This is my wife, Louise, and this is our
baggage, Florence.

Pleased to meet you.

He's nervous because he snuck on board
for child's fair.

You know, I read your latest book and I
loved it. What was your favorite part?

Your picture on the back.

Lawrence, you're charming.

And lovely.

Excuse me.

Kiss my hand.

Oh, yeah?

Medic!

I'm sorry if I'm being nosy, but what is
that you have in the box? What are you

doing?

Yeah, Edgar, what's in the box?

Well, if you must know, it's my crime
-solving kit.

And don't call me Edgar.

Oh, sorry, Thorny.

Mind if I take a look?

Nobody touches it but me.

It's locked, and I never let it out of
my possession.

Well, good day.

Florence, I hope I'll be seeing more of
you.

A lot less of you.

You see that, Weez? I won him over.

Yes, George. There was nothing but
utmost respect in the way that he

you.

Oh, Weez, don't look, don't look.

What? Over there. Over there again?
Yeah.

It's Andrew Derrick, my absolute
favorite mystery writer of all time.

Is he the one who wrote those Broadway
thrillers? Yeah, that's him.

Hey, Andy.

George Jefferson, right of bloodstains,
no problem.

Crosses my way, wum.

No problem.

Forgive us, Mr. Jefferson. That
gentleman is,

or should I say was, our second mate.

As you can see, he has a bit of a
problem with alcohol, and that's

cannot abide on this ship.

Oh, second mate, huh? Hey, Florence, why
don't you go stand next to him? I'll

take your picture.

For what?

That's the closest you're ever going to
get to a mate.

I think I'll go to my cabin.

You know, you ought to feel quite at
home in these waters.

Why? They're full of shrimp.

You never guessed who that is.

Oh, now let me guess.

He's your absolute favorite mystery
writer of all time. That's right. How'd

know?

That's Max Steel. He writes those
stupid, hard -picking, tough -guy

I know this guy's a monster.

Sir, there are no mice on board, are
there?

A man's man, huh, George?

Hello, could you tell me my cabin
number? My name is Audrey Bloom.

Audrey Bloom.

Hello, Miss Bloom.

I love your book. May I give you one
suggestion?

You should take those terrific, smart,
brave women heroes of yours and turn

into men.

It's more believable.

You are a Neanderthal.

Oh, thank you.

One thing.

For a woman, I think you're great.

Another thing. For a man, you're not.

I'm impressed, George.

You're sure making a lot of friends on
this trip.

Charm, if it don't reward me.

Good afternoon.

I am Duchess Henrietta von Kohl.

This has got to be first class. The
Duchess don't leave her castle for

I've got to talk to her. George, please.

Excuse me, Duchess.

Excuse me, but do you support the Duke,
or does he support himself?

You, sir, are a twit.

And? A Neanderthal.

I shouldn't wonder.

I take it you have arranged the proper
menu?

Oh, yes, ma 'am, absolutely.

Enjoy your cruise.

Thank you.

Menu? Well, she's diabetic. Her food has
to be prepared a certain way.

Oh, well, if you want it burnt, you can
hire my maid Florence to cook it.

Well, that's it. There are several other
guests already on board. You'll be

meeting them all later tonight.

Oh.

You see that, Weas? I was worried about
not getting along with these people. I'm

winning them over.

George, you were called a worm, a twit.

And a Neanderthal.

And never by a better class of people.

You know, George,

I'm really excited.

I can't wait until the mystery starts.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, guess what?

Mr. Thornton asked me to dinner tomorrow
night. I think he likes me.

There's your mystery weed.

Excuse me, folks. I'm here to inform you
that your presence is requested in the

salon. How come?

I'm afraid there's been a murder.

Whoa! It's about time. Come on, come on.

What happened here? It's my wife,
Bertha.

Somebody's done her in.

Hey, who are you?

T .J. Wheeler, Texas millionaire.

I just can't stand the sight of my
wife's curvaceous figure all slumped

But if you want to know who did it, just
ask that lousy lawyer of mine. He was

having an affair with her.

Well,

all right, we were having an affair,
but...

She was paying for my penthouse
apartment. She was buying me things I

never afford.

I would never have killed her.

But if you want a suspect, talk to that
secretary, Barbara Collins.

She was fooling around with Wheeler.

Aha!

Well, I certainly don't have to stand
around here and take this.

Um, but the one who really had a motive
was T .J.'s no -good crooked accountant.

I happen to know that Bertha discovered
him embezzling and was just about to

expose him.

Uh -huh.

That's a lie. T .J. killed her. She had
all the millions and he wanted it all

for himself.

Uh -huh.

All right, hold it right there.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

What we got?

That's a hair.

Been so long since he saw one, he forgot
what they look like.

That's an interesting little puzzle, no?

No. Because I, George Jefferson, crime
-solver extraordinaire, know who did.

Who, George?

It was her husband.

Oh? What makes you say that? It's
obvious.

Take a look at that mug.

If you were married to this bat,
wouldn't you kill her?

Hey!

You're not exactly a Valentino yourself,
you little... Bertha!

Well... As you can see, this is the
mystery we've arranged for you. And

supposed to be a corpse. We're paying
you handsomely to lie there and do

nothing. We should have hired Florence
for that.

As I was saying, this is your mystery.

You have four suspects and three days in
which to solve the murder. The winner

will receive a trophy, along with the
satisfaction of having outwitted his

and the mystery ship.

Edgar Thorne's opening up his crime
-solving kit.

Wow. And to think you saw that without
your magnifying glass.

What have you got in the box?

A magnifying glass?

Fingerprint powder.

Bordeaux, 59.

Wine?

I guess he'll solve no crime before it's
time.

Aha! What have we here?

What is it?

A picture of the captain when he was in
the Navy.

Yeah, what about it?

I was in the Navy.

Small world, huh?

brain, too.

It's nice to see George having a good
time.

Quickly, everyone, look at this. There
seem to be some initials engraved on the

knife.

Aren't you going to look, Duchess? No,
no, no. The rest of you can run around

like rank amateurs, but I have seen all
I need to see. You see here, it's

engraved on the handle, the initials B
.C.

B .C.

B .C.

That's too obvious.

Look, that B .C. is easily traced.

The secretary's name was Barbara
Collins.

B .C. Steel, you're pathetic.

If you'd been alert, you'd have realized
the accountant had an accent that was

peculiar to Western Canada, probably
British Columbia.

There's your B .C. I got it! I got it!
Don't give it to me.

Okay.

B .C. stands for when the murder...

deflating the male egos in the room. I'm
afraid you're all wrong. Now, a

successful lawyer would no doubt belong
to the very prestigious Bellington Club.

And that's where the initials B .C. come
from.

A noble effort, my dear, but alas, a
futile one.

If any of you so -called sleuths had any
powers of observation, you would have

noticed the burning cactus emblem on Mr.
Wheeler's belt buckle. Now, that is

obviously the name of his ranch, and
equally obviously from whence the

B .C. come. You are getting senile.
That's the most inane thing I've ever

Well,

I don't understand why they are arguing
like this.

Probably because they're competing with
each other. We also happen to loathe

each other. Well, that's a relief.

I thought you were just fingling out my
husband.

Well, I'm sure we will when we get to
know him better.

Mr.

Thornton. Call me Edgar.

Call me any time.

Why do you call that wine bottle your
mystery -solving kit?

Well, Florence...

I've always felt a good murder, like a
good meal, should be savored with an

excellent wine.

It makes me think.

Just a sip cleared the cobwebs from my
head.

Have you got a gallon for my boy?

I'd say that from the angle of the
knife, the murderer was right -handed.

also had a strong stomach. Why?

Because he left the victim's face
uncovered.

how much you're paying me. I'm not going
to stand here and take any more insult

from that rodent.

Who cares?

I've seen dogs play dead better than
her.

You know, Edgar, I think we might have a
lot in common.

Really? Why?

Well, for instance, what do you think of
my boss?

I think he's an idiot.

Well, there's one thing in common right
there.

That's interesting.

Interesting? Well, I guess you could say
I'm interesting.

But you haven't even scratched the
surface.

Actually, I'm a very fascinating woman.

That's odd.

Well, there's nothing really odd about
it.

I'm so interesting, you might want to
write a book about me.

But then I guess that's why you were
drawn to me in the first place.

Tell me, what was your first impression?

Well, that's rude.

I mean, if you didn't like me, all you
had to do was say so.

Well, if that's the way you feel, you
can take a flying loop.

Oh, what happened?

Oh, we were just talking and he keeled
over.

I knew it finally would happen. Florence
finally bored some poor guy to death.

We could drop some ice cubes down a
Dutch's dress.

Oh, my God.

Hey, hey, is this all part of the game?
I'm afraid this is no game.

Mr. Thornton's really dead.

Dead? Oh, my goodness.

Don't. It could be poison.

Oh, here.

Well, don't just stand there. Call the
police.

We're 50 miles out at sea.

Well, pull over.

Who would want to kill poor Edgar?

I mean, he just met me.

Well, he did say they all loathed each
other.

I'll notify the captain and check out
this wine.

If it is poisoned, you should all be
careful, because that means whoever the

murderer is, it's somebody in this room.

Well, don't look at me. I ain't no
murderer. I can vouch for me and my

Ain't you forgetting somebody?

You were the closest one to him.

I'm afraid there's even more bad news.
Listen to this.

Thornton was only the first.

Everyone in this room will die.

Thanks for the trip, ween.