Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, too deep down, moving on up, to a

deep...

mean somebody died.

Well, this one's worse.

It says somebody's coming.

Oh, shoot, that ain't nothing.

I like meeting new people. You hear new ideas, fascinating stories. You'll have

a lot of fun.

It's an old friend of George's. I'll barricade the door.

That won't stop Johnny Moore.

He's loud, obnoxious, chauvinistic, and the worst part of all, George

really looks up to him.

Well, at his height, who don't he look up to?

Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do about Johnny. He's just one of those

people.

Well, what do you mean?

Well, have you ever been cleaning a window and come across an annoying

that just refuses to wipe off?

I don't do windows.

And have you ever been cleaning under a bed and come across one of those

stubborn duck balls that refuses to budge?

I don't do under beds.

Oh.

Then have you ever been cashing your paycheck and gotten a lot less money

you thought you should have?

Yeah, but what has that got to do with Johnny Moore?

Nothing. But that happens when you don't do windows or clean under beds.

No, I bet you're worried about nothing. Mr. Jefferson's friend must have changed

by now.

Oh, I don't know, Florence.

Believe me, Miss Jefferson, everybody changes.

Who do you know that stays the same year after year?

Okay,

so there's one exception.

I lost one of the biggest accounts of my life today.

I mean, let's face it.

I'm all washed up. I'm all burned out.

So that's what happened to the rest of your body.

Florence, how could you say that to me after I defended you today?

You defended me? Yes.

A man at work said Florence Shore is an old maid. I said, how dare you call her

a maid?

George, please.

Now, what's so bad about losing an account? Because, Weasley, it's the

account this month.

Fourth? But who's counting?

But, Weasley, this is my biggest account, Weasley. This was the Chateau

restaurant chain.

But I thought you said it was a piece of cake. It was. See, that's what I don't

understand. Okay, I go down with the contract this morning, right? So the

Monsieur Deleuze, said that he was signing a contract over lunch.

So here we are at lunch. I ordered a duck larange, and then I asked the guy

pass me some ketchup, and he gets up and walks out.

You put ketchup on a duck?

Why, now there's meat in it.

Then why don't you try wearing some ketchup on your head?

Miss Jefferson, do you mind if I take the rest of the day off? I want to go to

movie. No, you have to stay here and work.

Work? Yeah, it's a new fad that's sweeping the country. A lot of employees

into it now.

I resent that.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot the word sweeping offends you.

You know, from up here, your head looks like a little brown egg in a nest.

Well, being part of the Bolcher family, you should feel right at home.

Now, listen.

Oh, never mind. All I get is insults. I mean, day after day, week after week,

month after month, year after miserable year. I work hard.

And what do I get? A friendly smile?

An occasional pat on the back?

A little word of encouragement? Like, Florence, there's magic in the way you

hang the tidy bowl.

No, not from you. Not from anybody.

I mean, where does it end?

Where's my reward?

Where?

Where?

Where?

Oh, Florence, we had no idea you felt that way.

Poor dear.

Listen, why don't you take off the rest of the night and go see a movie?

Okay.

I hope I didn't ruin my makeup.

Nope, it looks fine.

I'm the one that hangs the tidy bowl. I'm the one that should be going to the

movies. I got all the troubles.

Maybe I should just hire a salesman and turn the whole thing over to him.

Yeah, but then he'd probably want a lot of money or something.

Uh, George, why don't you read this telegram that came for us today?

What is it?

Well, let's just say it'll cheer you up a lot more than it did me.

You ain't glad I started?

Johnny Moore?

Wheezy, Johnny Moore's coming to town. I know.

How long has it been since we saw him? It must have been at least nine, ten...

Eleven years, five months, two weeks, and three days.

How do you remember that?

It's easy, George.

It's the day you and the neighbors had to get me off the ledge.

Yeah, well, thank God. After your behavior, he's willing to come back.

Come on.

Why don't you get John and George?

George, George.

Now, Why don't you let Johnny stay at a hotel this time?

You know, I'm not sure that he's too fond of me. And besides, when you two

together, you're like two little kids.

I know, but me and Johnny go back a long time. I mean, he taught me everything I

know. He taught me everything about business. He taught me everything I know

about life. He even taught me everything I know about women.

That's the main reason I don't like him.

Now, George, please let him stay at a hotel this time.

I'm asking you as a friend, as a wife, and as a woman who may beat you to

death.

Okay, we just let you put it so nicely. Good, because I really hate to get

nasty. But you've got to remember, we're much older now. I mean, let's face it,

I'm more mature than I was then, and I'm sure Johnny is, too.

Georgie?

Hey, look, Georgie, I got a joke for you. Oh, man.

What were Adam's first words after God made Eve?

I don't know.

Oh, God, what's a headache?

A headache.

Well, that reminds me. You remember Louise?

Yeah, right.

Sure is good to see you, Georgie.

So what brings you to town?

A DC -10.

A DC -10. Hey, Louise.

A DC -10.

He's gone, Georgie.

Hey, Georgie.

You know, I came on the spur of the moment.

You know, I mean, year after year, I'm selling life insurance, I make the

million -dollar club, and the boss wants to send me to Europe or somewhere.

But this time, as I was boarding the plane to Monte Carlo, I said to myself,

Sexpot, that's me.

Why not do something you want to do for a change?

And the thing I wanted most of all, Georgie, was to come back here... And

a little time with the homeboy. And you, Luis.

You hear that, Luis?

He called me homeboy.

And he called you Luis.

I want to hit him, George.

You know, I just remember the last time I was here, Luis.

You served me a Bloody Mary that ranks up there with those of the famed Chateau

de la Blas over in Switzerland.

Remember? It was perfect.

And might I add, It's a memory only overshadowed by the gentle, ageless

the graceful, lovely woman who created it.

In other words, you would like a drink. What a girl!

These only moments from death, George.

So, Johnny, where you staying?

Hey, listen, I reserved this little penthouse over at the plaza. You know, I

mean, this is all of a sudden. I figure I can't barge in on you.

And besides, the boss is picking up the tab, so why not go for the best, huh?

Exactly.

And the plaza is definitely the best place for you, Johnny.

Too true, Louise. All too true.

Of course, Georgia and I would have loved to have you here.

Yeah, I'll call and cancel.

I'll kill her, please.

I'll kill her.

He could have told me this outside, you know.

Well, the other day, I went to the dictionary to look up the word bigamy.

definition was having one wife too many.

Then I looked up the word marriage.

It said exactly the same thing.

Him out now.

Georgie, I better turn in. Oh, man.

Hey, come on, man. Would Pride do his whole act in one day?

With Drething?

Who's Drething? The Rockettes. Want to watch?

Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Nice, Drething.

Oh, boy. What a great guy.

You know, I never laughed so much in my life. That guy's a lot of fun. Tell me.

Sure. Fun.

Like yesterday when he put the Tabasco sauce in my lipstick.

Oh, yeah. That was funny.

Especially the part where you were stuck under that ice cube that Johnny put the

fly in.

I just don't like that man.

And if he stays here one more day, you're going to find him in the oven.

In the oven?

Now, tomorrow morning, I want you to put him up in a hotel.

Preferably in Beirut.

A hotel, please.

But that would be an insult to him. He ain't did nothing to nobody.

I'm sorry, Florence. I didn't know this was your room.

You're the one that told him to stay here in the first place, so you tell him

go to a hotel.

But... Johnny's my friend. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

You're the one that told him he could stay here in the first place, and now

you're telling him he's got to go to a hotel.

Right? Enough said.

Lights out.

Good night.

One wife too many.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Hey, Florence, did you find that little rubber lizard I put in your shoe this

morning?

I threw it in the incinerator.

Along with your suit.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, did you enjoy your lunch?

Florence, I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

What happened?

Fifteen years we've been going to that restaurant.

And this is the first time the chef ever came out to see us.

Of course, it was to bury a meat cleaver in our table.

Oh, it was a lousy restaurant anyway, Florence.

Bad food, bad service, and a bad attitude towards those of us who enjoy a

old -fashioned food fight.

Now, look, if it's good food you really want, I know this little place down in

New Orleans. Play your cards right now and I'll take you there.

Huh? What do you say, my little handy wife?

man that you show him the same respect that you showed me.

I can't.

He ain't short and bald.

He's short and fat.

Don't pay her no mind. I'm going to change my clothes. Why don't you go make

yourself the same? That's a great idea, Georgie.

Hey, don't mind me. I'll just fix a little snack. Unless, of course, you'd

the pleasure.

Only... if I could make it with poison.

I'll get it myself.

Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry about your suit.

I'll have it cleaned as soon as possible. Oh, that's all right, Louise,

there is one thing that burns me up.

What? I don't think this is real blue cheese dressing at all.

I think it's imitation cheese food.

I mean, at those prices. Oh, thank you, Tom.

Oh, Helen.

What am I going to do?

I don't want to push too hard because George and Johnny are friends.

But when they get together, it's as if they never grew up.

Disgusting. Well, now, dear, in both their defense, it's only natural for two

good friends to try to recapture their youth after a long separation.

I remember... Oh, Tom, in the name of decency, not another story.

But that's the true story. that happened to me some years back.

You see, my good friend Stephen McKeegan and I were raised in Boston around a

little park. But outside of this park was a sign that said, no bicycle riding

allowed. Well, of course, being a boisterous all -American boys, we

obeyed that sign and rode our bikes outside the park.

I'm not finished yet, Louise.

Fifteen years later, I ran across Bewood in Boston.

And it wasn't five minutes till we were into a deep dish pizza when we started

talking about that gosh darn sign.

Oh, sure, we laughed at first.

But then it suddenly dawned on us. I mean, who were they to tell us what we

could and couldn't do?

I mean, after all, it was our park and our bike. I mean, that's the kind of

frenzy we worked ourselves up into.

So what happened, Tom?

Why did you ask?

It flipped.

Well, you can imagine what happened.

Steve... Oh, that's what I used to call Stephen.

Yeah.

Steve and I, oh, we had a couple of beers, and then we marched over to that

park.

And if they hadn't put a bank up in that spot...

The word no in the no bike riding sign would be crossed out today.

Is he finished?

It's hard to tell.

Pretty powerful step, huh?

He's finished.

Look, Louise, if there's no other recourse with Johnny, you just have to

to leave.

That's what George said, but Helen, I just couldn't. Oh, Steve!

Look, Louise, just throw Johnny out.

After all, this is your home, too.

But Johnny is one of George's oldest friends.

And you're one of yours.

Now, if he is crass... Which he is. And chauvinistic... Oh, yes. And loud and

obnoxious and makes you miserable, what a... What choice do you have?

But I... Stand up for yourself.

Look out for numero uno.

Now, the next time that man gets on your nerve, honey, you just lay down the

law. That's right.

And feel free to use the bicycle story.

Sure. It's yours.

Uh, Helen, do you really think I could be that forceful? Sure you can.

Oh, no, I can't. Sure you can.

Oh, no, I just can't. You have any mustard, Louise?

Get out!

You better go, Tom.

Well, what for, Helen? I mean, Louise likes us.

Helen, I think some croutons worked their way down into my shorts.

You really want me to leave, Louise?

Uh, listen, Johnny.

Now, you and George are the best of friends, and I wouldn't want to ruin

But when it comes to you and me, well, I just think it would be better if you

stayed somewhere else.

And I believe I'm speaking for Tom and for Helen.

And for Florence.

And for Florence.

And just to show you there's no hard feelings, you can still visit George

whenever you feel like it.

And I'll make reservations for you at the plaza right now.

Louise, I can't afford the plaza.

With the money you make? The money I make, I can't afford the YMCA.

But I don't understand, Johnny. Your job in Chicago... Ended six months ago.

I got fired.

I mean, everything else is true. The million -dollar club and the trips and

that. You see, I had the streak of bad luck.

I met this gorgeous, beautiful woman who fell madly in love with me.

What's so bad about that?

She was the boss's mistress.

And when he got the news, I found myself out of a job, and it's been that way

ever since.

Oh, I'm sorry, Johnny.

But you must still be a great salesman if you made the million -dollar club.

Louise, I'm getting older.

Employers seem to shy away from that, no matter how good you are.

But look, let's not dwell on the past.

Okay?

I'll go pack.

But just do me a favor.

What is it?

Don't tell Georgie about this. I mean, he's always kind of looked up to me, and

the last thing I need now is pity. You understand?

Hey, Johnny.

Hey, Georgie, baby. I got to fly back home tonight.

What? Yeah, I called in, and the boss said everything is falling down around

him, so I got to go back and bail him out, as usual.

Man, we're just starting to have fun. Hey, I'm sorry. And you know I'm the

cat in the world to get mushy. But the longer I stay, the harder it gets for me

to leave.

Well, I'd like to thank you for putting up with me, though. The both of you.

Uh, George, since we have John here right now, why don't you tell him about

sales job you've got open?

Oh, come on. We don't want to insult him. John is beyond that.

Ask him anyway.

What are you talking about? I don't want him laughing in my face.

Ask me, George. I'm walking as slow as I can.

Okay, Johnny, look.

I got a job for a salesman at the cleaners, but you wouldn't want to leave

successful job like you got for something like that, would you? When do

me to start?

See, I told you.

You would?

Hey, man, look.

I realize it's a major step backwards for me, but, George, you need me.

What a guy, huh? You got that right.

and I'll take you downstairs and we'll look over your operations, okay? Okay.

This is great. Charlie and Georgie, back together again.

Isn't that great, Weez?

I'm all a dither.

Hey, Georgie, I want to thank you, man.

And especially you, Louise.

Hey, let's go have a drink.

Let's have a lot of drink.

Okay? You want to come, Louise?

Well... No, second thought, this is a night out for the guys, right, Georgie?

Can't have a good time dragging the old ball and chain around.

Just a second, Johnny.

Just to show you how I feel about you, I want to try something.

What's that?

Johnny!

Louise!

Pardon me, Louise.

I meant to, Johnny.

All right, did you finish your work yet?

Oh, to tell you the truth, Miss Jefferson, I'm a little tired.

I thought I'd call it a day and just relax.

Not until you finish your work.

Okay, I'll do it, as usual.

Day after day, month after month, year after miserable year.

Where's my reward?

Where? Where?

Where? Here.