Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up. Too deep down. We're moving on

To a deep.

Sometimes the butter's starting to smell like Vitalis.

Well, hey, I like to eat, okay?

If that's a crime, so be it. If it was a crime, you'd be on death row.

Listen, I'm getting sick of these unfounded fat jokes.

Oh, is that the food section?

No, it's the stock market.

Just like you clean your plate, I clean up at the stock market. Check this out.

AT &T up one half, IBM up seven -eighths.

McDonald's? Hey, I eat there. Up 15 and a half.

Wow. You know, I've always wanted to invest in the stock market.

Now I have a little extra money to invest.

George, what do you think I could get for a few thousand dollars?

Lunch.

Will you please stop with the fat jokes?

I can't help it, Willis. I'm on a fat freeway. I can't find an off -ramp.

Oh, come on, George.

You know, you're pretty successful in the stock market.

How do you always know what to buy?

Because I've been gifted with a sixth sense.

A sixth sense?

What do you mean?

Well, not only do I have your normal, everyday five senses, like hearing,

smelling, tasting, four and five, I also have a sixth sense,

which helps me make investments.

That's amazing.

What, did I have a sixth sense?

No, that you can't name the five senses.

You're just jealous, Willis. Look, I am a man of vision. See, when I see a

vacant lot, I think of putting up high -rises. When you see a vacant lot, you

think of putting up picnic tables.

Well, that does it, George. You know, I'd really like to tell you what I think

about your fat jokes, but it's not polite to talk with your mouth full.

George, who was here?

weren't making with the fat jokes at Tom's expense.

Me making with fat jokes? Come on.

If that's Willis, grease the doorways and wedge him in.

Oh, hi, Charlie. Long time no see.

How you doing, Mr. Jefferson?

Long time no drink. Oh, I know.

And I'm sorry we haven't been down to your bar lately, but we haven't

about you.

How is your lovely wife, Georgia?

Uh, Gloria is just fine, thank you.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I just blanked out.

Oh, come on in.

Oh. Charlie.

Charlie. You're right, right.

Hey,

Mr. Jefferson.

Hey, Charlie, what can I do for you? Well, sir, you know, uh, when you have a

problem, you always come into the bar and share it with me? Yeah.

Well, I thought I'd have this little problem. I'd like to come up and kind of

share it with you. Oh, don't tell me you're having a problem with your son

again. Uh, that's Diane, sir.

Whoa, you do have a problem.

Um, could I get you a drink, Charlie? Yes, thank you very much, Mrs.

I think I'll have a Singapore sling.

Oh, I've never made one of those.

Oh, it's a snap. You just juice half a lemon, add a little powder sugar, and

some gin.

Shave some ice and mix it, then strain it off into a Collins glass.

Add some ice cubes, fill it with non -carbonated water, then float a half

of wild cherry brandy on top, and then just decorate it with the fruit of the

season.

How about some coffee, Charlie?

I'd love some.

Coming up.

Have a seat, Charlie. Thank you very much, sir.

So, what's the problem?

Well, Mr. Jefferson, I could use some real good business advice.

And who better to come to than George Jefferson, huh? Oh, come on, Charlie,

you're embarrassing me.

Go on.

Well, sir, let's face it, you are a financial genius.

Well, look, Charlie, the word genius has been overused.

Wizard, maybe.

Well, genius, wizard, phenomena, they all apply to you, sir. Yeah, I guess

there's no sense in me complaining. People are still going to use them

So, anyway, what kind of advice did you want?

Well, sir, I was wondering if you could tell me what's the best way to ask you

for a business loan?

In your sleep.

Because you're dreaming.

Look, Mr. Jefferson, I really hate to ask. This is hard for me to do, but

business has been so bad at the bar, I could really use the money to decorate

the place. You know, draw in the customers.

You know what you have in mind?

Oh, hey, I got some great ideas. I mean, real heavy stuff. Get this.

I want to put that blue stuff in the toilet water.

I want to add a ceiling fan and kind of patch up the tablecloths.

And for my coup de grace, I want to get a radio for Monday night football.

A radio.

Why don't you spring for a tape recorder in case anybody wants to listen to the

instant replay?

Somehow I sense you're not too crazy about my idea. Well, Charlie, it's just

that... Oh, Mr. Jefferson, I give up. I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Well, look, Charlie, you're right about one thing. I mean, your place does need

some improvements. I mean, see, you need to set some kind of a mood, you know, a

little atmosphere.

You know, like the French call ambulance.

Don't you mean ambiance?

Yeah, I just said it without the accent.

See, you gotta give people what they don't get at home.

Sex.

Get about it, Mr. Jefferson, but I ain't about to serve drinks in my shorts. No,

no, no.

Look, that's not what I mean. See, I mean hire some sexy waitresses, you

with the little skimpy skirts even. And maybe, uh, you could wear wings, you

know, and maybe little halos.

And you could call them, uh, Charlie's Angels.

And I could be Charlie.

Right.

Nah, nah, Mr. Jefferson, nah.

I mean, that'll turn the bar into something different.

Something... Worth owning.

That's it, yeah.

Hey, Charlie's Angels, huh? Boy, it does have a ring to it. Sure does.

Hey, Mr. Jefferson, that's a great idea. I could make it work. I know I could. I

know. Oh, gosh.

Gee, all I need is a little money.

Yeah, it wouldn't take that much. Say, about five grand?

Oh, that's more than enough. Could I borrow it from you, sir? Not a chance.

See what I mean? I'm saving my money in the bank, and I'm waiting for some good

investment to come along. I mean, not that yours isn't a good one. I

sir. I understand.

Look, I got another idea.

How about instead of you loaning me $5 ,000, you give me the money, and then

and me, we're partners in the bar.

Five grand's not enough for a partnership.

All right, I'll take $10 ,000.

Charlie, you're missing my whole point, right?

See, I have armed you with an idea. So now it is up to you to go out and find a

sucker. I mean, a partner.

And just go out and come up with the money.

Yeah, okay, sir.

Look, thanks a lot for the advice, Mr. Johnson.

I'm going to go out and find myself a sucker. Oh!

I mean a partner.

Thanks a lot, sir. I appreciate it. Go ahead. Bye. Take it easy.

Coffee's ready. I perked it.

My... Where's Charlie?

Oh, he left.

He's not feeling too good, is he?

Business is hurting. He wanted to borrow some money from me.

You know, Weasley, I feel sorry for Charlie. He's such a good guy.

Did you give him the money?

To that loser?

George!

Charlie is a friend.

I know that, Weasley. The bar business is terrible.

I'd never get into a business that depends on the public's mood.

What about dry cleaning?

Oh, that's no problem, man.

See, uh, filth is a constant.

God has been very good to the dry cleaner.

He provides for us.

In the wintertime, he gives us slush. In spring, he gives us mud.

In summer, he gives us dust.

Then along comes fall again, and we get brand new clothes to get filthy all over

again.

Yeah, every time I think of how good the big guy has been to me, it brings tears

to my eyes.

And, George, I'm sure whenever the big guy thinks about you, he gets tears in

his eyes, too.

That's sweet, Weave.

Uh, look, George, we haven't been down to Charlie's Bar for a long while.

Why don't we go down one night this week, just for a couple of drinks?

It's the least we can do.

No, it ain't, Weave. The least we can do is nothing.

George. Okay, we'll go. But remember, it's going to be lonely down there. If I

wanted to be lonely, I could stay here with you.

Heaven,

I'm in heaven.

Charlie. What is it, sweetheart?

I was just wondering.

Trudy, that's olives in a martini.

I was putting cherries in because they're prettier.

Honey,

as long as they're selling, you can put cantaloupes in them.

George, I thought you said Charlie wasn't doing any business.

Hey, Mrs. Jefferson, Mr. Jefferson.

Pretty busy, huh?

Well, yeah.

I mean... I'm glad to see you're doing so well.

Thank you. But aren't your waitresses dressed a little too naked?

Yeah.

George, this board is on exploitation of women, don't you think? It's a

goldmine.

Charlie. Yes, ma 'am.

We're friends.

But I just don't feel comfortable with what you're doing here.

How about you, George? It's a goldmine.

Hi.

Can I get you something?

Sorry, sweetie, but you're barking up the wrong tree.

Hi, honey.

Can I get you something?

This time, dearie, you're not even in the right forest.

Oh, Charlie.

Yes? Your cash register is overflowing again.

Again? Problems, problems, problems.

Heaven, I'm in heaven.

George, I can't believe this.

Me neither, Weems.

Where could Charlie have gotten an idea like this? Who cares? I just want to

know who the genius is that's backing this.

He's got to be a lot smarter than me.

and you'll tell me that she called you horse, not boss.

No can do, George.

Tom, how can you be part of a business that exploits women?

I'm disappointed in you.

I'm sorry, Louise. I'm sorry you feel that way.

But I can live with it.

I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to stay here and watch.

I'm disgusted. Right, well, you go home, and I'll stay here and be disgusted for

the both of us.

George, George, what do you think about all this? This idea of Charlie's was a

stroke of genius.

Yeah, genius. Oh, you know, I can't believe it. My investment was a measly

,000, and in just two nights, I've already got all my money back.

Oh, but it's not just a matter of money.

There are fringe benefits, too.

All the peanuts you can eat.

Oh, boy, I'm glad that Charlie didn't come to you first with this idea.

Why, with your sixth sense, why, you would have jumped on it.

Then where would I be?

I'd be sitting here feeling jealous of you. Oh, I'd be fuming.

No, I couldn't have handled it as graciously as you are.

Well, I need a drink now.

Sure, George. Hey! Charlie, a drink for my friend here.

On the house.

Right away, partner.

Later, George.

I got a boogie.

There you go, Mr. Jefferson. I put a couple extra cherries in on the house.

knows I can afford it.

Charlie, I want in.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, the truth of the matter is I don't need the money

Charlie, I was going to give you the money all along.

You were?

Yes. Gee, I thought when you said no, you kind of meant no.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

When are you going to learn how to read people?

A lot of times when I say no, I mean yes.

Now that that's all cleared up, are we going to be partners?

No.

Does that mean yes?

No.

Let me rephrase that.

Please.

Mr. Jefferson, I'd love you to be my partner, but I already got one.

That's not a partner. That's a conglomerate.

Hey, partner!

Hey, Mr. Ritka!

Listen, partner, we got troubles.

Trouble? Yeah, your share of profits is overloading the safe again.

Oh, my. My goodness. Well, I guess I'd better go upstairs again and put my

under the mattress.

It's a good thing you got a king size.

You got a king size mattress, huh? Yeah.

Where did your wife sleep?

What a kidder.

Well, so long, partner. All right.

Excuse me, George, but I've got to... I know you got a boogie.

No.

Thank you enough for this Charlie's Angels idea.

Let me in.

Oh, what a kidder. Come on, seriously, Mr. Jefferson, what can I do for you?

Let me in.

No can do.

Charlie, look, I can offer you more than cash.

With my business experience, I can turn this dump into a success.

Okay, so you don't need my money. I ain't gonna beg you no more. Forget it.

Take another hundred.

Please.

Come on, Mr. Jefferson, will you cheer up? You look like you just lost your

friend.

I did.

Look, Mr. Jefferson, I'd love to have you as my partner, but I already have

Willis.

Hey, everybody, let's have a party.

I can't believe that Charlie and Mr. Willis would stoop so low just to make

money. I know. I just called Helen and asked her to come down. Because if she

doesn't know about this, I've got to tell her.

I don't know, Miss Jefferson.

I mean, butting into other people's marital affairs can only lead to

Your husband is an animal.

Would it be considered rude if I asked what that was all about?

Helen, do you know that Tom bought part of Charlie's bar?

Yes, I know. Tom tells me everything.

Oh, excuse me.

Did he tell you that he had women serving drinks?

Yes, he did.

Did he tell you they were young?

Yes, he did.

Did he tell you they were naked?

I'm going to kill him.

Now, Helen, I'm sure the situation doesn't call for killing, does it,

Well, why are you asking me? I told you, I don't butt into other people's

marital affairs.

Helen, they're not naked. They wear costumes.

That is, if you consider a washcloth a costume.

I'll kill him.

I'm sure you'll listen to Rita. But if not...

I have a pretty persuasive skillet you can borrow.

Oh, hi, Louise.

Oh, sweetheart, I got your message to come down.

What's going on?

I know your secret.

Helen, it's about the snickers in my sock drawer. I can explain.

I'm talking about those nearly nude bimbos you have working for you down at

Charlie's Bar.

Bimbos?

Oh, you mean my angels.

Your angels?

I'll get the skillet.

Now, why don't you two discuss this rationally?

Right.

Rationally. You're right, Louise.

Now, look, Tom.

I'm not upset because I'm jealous.

Well, not entirely.

It's just that, well, I think it's very wrong of you to exploit those women.

Sweetheart, I'm not exploiting them. I'm just making a great deal of money off

of them.

Tom, don't you see it's bad on so many levels?

You're treating women as sex objects. That's right.

Now, Tom, is that what you think of women?

Come on, Helen. I have never thought of you as a sex object.

Is that skillet cast iron?

Yep, and it's got a no -slip grip.

Helen, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Tom, I want you to fire those

Even Trudy?

Who's Trudy?

Especially Trudy.

I will not. I'm afraid this time I'm going to have to put my foot down.

If that's all right with you, dear.

No, it is not, Tom.

Helen, he's not going to listen to reason, so we're going to have to do

something about it ourselves.

Let's go.

But, Helen!

You'd better take some of that money you made and have the couch reupholstered.

Why?

Just consider it redecorating your bedroom, honey.

Oh, Florence, I'm so depressed.

What do you think I should do?

I'm sorry, Mr. Willis, but I don't butt into other people's marital affairs.

But what am I doing? Am I doing something so wrong? I mean, think of all

things I can buy with the money I'm making.

Oh, my, a new car, a house in the country, my own weenie wonderland

franchise.

You can also get a bad conscience, eternal damnation, and a life plagued by

demons.

There's one now.

Look,

please, I'm begging you. Would you please let me buy the thing from you?

listen to me. Will you buy my chair and Charlie's bar?

Please, look.

Say what?

Oh, you want to sell it? Yeah. Okay, okay, look.

I want you to start begging me.

It's $3 ,000, okay?

Well, after all, I did put $5 ,000 in. Okay, $5 ,000.

Well, I... $15 ,000.

Well, let's see.

$15 ,000. That would be tripling my money in two days. Is that good, George?

Is there a deal?

Well, I guess so. I mean, Helen's really mad at me about all of this. Oh, well,

then you're making the right decision. Nothing's worse than having your wife

at you. Yeah.

Right, okay, it's a deal. All right.

Oh, hey, but wait a minute. If you buy me out, won't your wife be mad at you?

Who cares?

Heaven, I'm in trouble.

Hey, Trudy.

Yo, Trudy, come on out here and meet your new boss.

New boss?

You bought up Mr. Willis?

That's right.

Where's Trudy? Where's the people? Where's the money?

Gone, sir. In that order.

What do you mean, gone? What happened?

Well, Mr. Jefferson, I don't quite know how to say this, sir.

Carefully. Your life depends on it.

Well,

it seems that your wife and Mrs. Willis complained to Mr.

Whittendale. He came and told me that the girls would attract a bad element to

the building and that I was in violation of my lease and that he would evict me

if I didn't get rid of them. I had no choice.

Well, I saw Whittendale sitting there yesterday having a good time.

I know. The problem is, so did his wife.

No more Trudy, no more people, no more money. Boy, that Mr. Willis got out just

at the right time.

You know that guy must have a sixth sense.

To tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad it happened.

I mean, sure, I mean, the bar was jumping and their business was good, but

at the place. It's not really me anymore.

I really feel comfortable with the way it was.

You're a sick man, Charlie.

Well, not really, sir. I mean, I can't complain.

Look, I made some money, Mr. Willis made some money, and the best part of all,

you and me, we're partners.