Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a

deep...

what is known as peanut butter and jelly.

I hate peanut butter and jelly.

And as the boss, I demand something else. Okay, boss.

Now you have jelly and peanut butter.

You know something? The longer she works for us, the lazier she gets.

Oh, that's not true, George.

Oh, no?

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Well, I made Florence and her friend some eggs.

See what I mean?

Well, look, George, I'm sure the only reason she made you a sandwich is

there's nothing else in the house. What?

Oh, get that, will you? I'm marinating my steak.

Oh, now, George, don't fret.

The steak I had was a little tough anyway.

I believe, is George Holmes. Yes, but please come in anyway.

No, you see, this time we want to see him. We had a little problem with some

cleaning George did for us.

Problem? Well, you know me, I'm an easygoing guy. I don't like to make

but frankly speaking, today I'm really ticked off.

Oh, you've been barred from the all -you -can -eat joint again?

George, Tom is your friend. We all have our crosses to bear, we...

Even the best homes have roaches, Louise.

George is yours.

Well, now, as I was saying, Helen and I were going out to dinner at our favorite

restaurant, and I was going to wear my favorite suit. Well, actually, it's my

favorite suit of Tom's. It makes him look kind of continental.

Oh, yeah, he does look like about the size of Australia.

So what happened to your suit, Tom?

Well, we took it into your cleaning store,

And it came back like this.

Oh, Tom.

I'm sorry about the stain.

Well, we'll send these trousers back downstairs and George will clean them

again. Oh, but I'm afraid, Louise, that this stain is permanent. Look, it

happened. Okay, I'm the best, but even the best can't get out every gravy

Excuse me, George, but this stain is not gravy. It's chocolate.

How do you know?

Well, I... I tasted it.

What? Well, I didn't want to come down here making reckless accusations.

Well, the simple fact of the matter is that there was no theme when we brought

the pants in to you, so it must have happened at your cleaning. Unless the

customer left the chocolate bar in the pocket when he brought it in.

I did not.

Okay, look, Willard. It's the Jefferson Cleaners' policy to pay for everything.

How much do I owe you?

$400.

$400?

That's a lot of money for a suit.

Well, of course, this could be used to cover the infield of Yankee Stadium.

Anyway, like I said, we pay for everything, even if it is your fault.

Just a minute, George. I want to make it perfectly clear that there was no

chocolate bar in this pocket.

Now, there's a principle involved here. The truth is at stake. And the truth is

that, well, your store was at fault. No way. Oh, now, look, Tom.

George offered to pay for the pants. Why don't we just leave it at that, okay?

I'm sorry, Helen, I can't. Not until George admits that the whole thing was

mistake. What?

My only mistake was taking your pants to the first place.

Next time, why don't you take them someplace where they can handle a big

like that?

Like the Cleveland Blimp Works.

Oh, that does it. There's just no dealing with you.

Oh, no, there's no talking to you.

And what's more, you're an incompetent dry cleaner. What?

Incompetent dry cleaner?

Okay, just for that.

I ain't gonna clean that circus tent you call pants.

But you agreed.

Sue me.

You know something, George? I'm steamed enough to haul you into court. Haul me

into court, then. My goodness. I ain't never heard y 'all fight like that

before. George, were you listening?

Naturally.

You know, Mr. Jefferson, your argument would be perfect for that TV show Video

Verdict. Video Verdict? You ain't never seen Video Verdict, Chuck?

Well, two parties agree.

To let an ex -judge hear their case form in front of everybody watching TV.

Oh, I don't know. It sounds a little silly to me.

Well, I've seen it, and it's unbelievable.

People say the dumbest things on that show.

Well, like I said, Mr. Jefferson would be perfect for it.

We ain't going on no video verdict. They make people look ridiculous.

Only a complete fool would even consider going on a show like that.

Video verdict.

Oh, no.

Hey, that's not a bad idea, George.

No, Tom.

You're not actually considering going on television with this.

Yes, I am.

And you know why, George?

Because I want America to see you proven wrong.

Yes, the more I think about it, I believe that TV court show is a valid

Come on, Helen, let's go. I've got a case to prepare.

Oh, and call Jim.

Is Jimmy your lawyer?

No.

He's our caterer.

I can't stand it.

You know what he called me? Weezy and incompetent liar cleaner. I don't

he would say that to me. I'd never insult him.

George, people say things when they're upset.

Right, Mr. Jefferson.

And if you ain't gonna eat this peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I wish you'd

throw it out. It's making me sick.

Don't jeopardize your friendship over a silly stain.

Just give Tom some time to calm down.

Then offer to pay for the damages.

He'll take it, and then you'll maintain your reputation as a fair and honest

business. I don't care.

And you'll also solve your lower back problem.

I don't have no lower back problem. You will after sleeping on that couch

tonight.

You just made me care.

So? I'll tell him you're willing to solve this thing like a gentleman.

You tell him I hope he chokes on his lousy steak and filthy 400 bucks.

I'll paraphrase, okay?

What are you mumbling about?

Did your stomach just realize that you're the one who cooked the steak?

No, I was just looking forward to seeing you and Mr. Willis go at it on video

verdict. We are not going on video verdict.

Why should I let them use my talent to help their lousy ratings?

Shoot, their ratings ain't lousy. I mean, all my friends watch that show.

deal. One viewer.

Look, I read somewhere that in the New York area alone, over four million

watch that show.

Now, that's eight million eyes blinded by the glare of your bald head.

Eight million people?

eyes watching.

And hearing all the glory that's Jefferson Cleary.

Anyway, I think you made the right decision.

I mean, like you said, only a complete fool would consider going on that show.

Video verdict.

It figures.

Good news, George.

I was speaking to Tom, and now he has something he wants to say to you.

Well, George, I guess this whole thing kind of got blown out of proportion.

Hey, Dave!

Anyway, I mean, if it's all right with you, I'll allow you to pay for my suit.

I mean, why quibble over whose fault it was? The important thing is that we're

both still friends.

Fat chance, fat man.

What?

I'll see you in court.

What?

Okay, quiet please, standing by.

In five, four, three, two...

Now

entering the courtroom, the plaintiff, Tom Willis.

He claims that he brought his new suit into Jefferson Cleaners to be cleaned.

But what he got back was a mohair chocolate sundae.

He's suing the defendant for $400.

And now the defendant, George Jefferson, owner and operator of Jefferson

Cleaners.

He claims the plaintiff left a chocolate bar in his pocket when he brought the

suit in.

And therefore, the plaintiff is responsible for the stain.

It appears we have the making of a very interesting case here on Video Verdict.

And now, Judge Cronin is entering the courtroom.

Let's join him as he hears the case of...

Who took who to the cleaners?

The participants have been sworn in.

Will the plaintiff please state his case?

Certainly, Your Honor.

Now, you see, I took my pants into Jefferson Cleaners. I object, Your

Mr. Jefferson, this is not a real court. This court does not recognize

objections. I'm sorry, Your Highness.

The reason I objected to the court... The plaintiff said he took the pants at

Jefferson Cleaners, but he did not specify which Jefferson Cleaners. You

sir, I have seven locations.

One near you.

Objection overruled. Grease stains, no problem.

Grass stains, no problem.

Knock it off.

No problem.

Go on, Mr. Willis.

Yes, Your Honor.

Very simple. You see, I took the pants in, no stain.

I got them back, pure milk chocolate.

Do you have any evidence?

I guess I do, Your Honor.

Here is Exhibit A.

And B, C, and D.

How do you know that this is milk chocolate?

I tasted it.

Speak up, please.

I tasted it.

Now, look.

My husband made taste pants.

But, my gosh, he has right on his thigh.

Order. Order.

Mr. Jefferson, would you state your case, please? Thank you, Your Holiness.

My wife bought her dress first.

Anyway, I'd like to open my case by stating that anyone that comes into

Jefferson Cleaners and mentions video verdict will have half off of their dry

cleaning.

And secondly, I'd like to say Jefferson Cleaners, where clean is our middle

name, is not guilty of the charges.

And I'd like to claim that that man, Tom Willis, left a candy bar in his pants

pockets, which caused the stain.

That's a lie.

I'm sorry. I got carried away.

Okay.

Now, how do you intend to prove that Mr.

Willis caused the stain?

You mean the plaintiff?

Yes, yes.

The plaintiff. Elementary, Your Majesty.

plaintiff never leaves home without chocolate.

Have them empty his pockets right now.

Your Honor, this is an outrage. Now, now, now, I know that this is an

request, but I'm intrigued.

Oh, but Your Honor.

Besides, I own this show.

So empty your pockets.

Oh, it's just a little chocolate kiss.

Come on, let's come clean.

which shows that not only was the plaintiff wrong about his accusations,

is also grossly overweight.

But you be the judge.

Thank you.

Now, Mr. Willis, do you have any witnesses?

Just one, Your Honor.

My wife.

the matter now, Mr. Jefferson.

I'm not trying to influence your decision, Your Honor, but this woman has

subscription to Cosmopolitan.

Enough said.

George, I subscribe to that, too.

You're destroying me, Weas.

Go on, please, Mrs. Willits.

Your Honor, I swear...

There was no candy bar in that pocket.

I always go through Tom's pockets.

Oh, they call it a marriage.

I went through them, and they were empty.

Just like the defendant's head.

Oh, yeah?

Well, in 1975, did you not leave a jelly bean in your husband's back pocket?

Mr.

Jefferson, that is hearsay and inadmissible.

Okay, I withdraw the question. But... The seed is planted.

The damage is done.

Well, I'm afraid in your case that the damage is irreversible.

Now, do you have any witnesses?

Yes, Your Honor. My sweet, lovely, she -would -die -for -her -country wife,

I might add, has been on the verge of a nervous breakdown ever since these

proceedings began.

I'll help you, darling.

I would like to say a

few words about my wonderful husband, George Jefferson of Jefferson Cleaners.

He... A cleaner who cares?

A cleaner who cares?

He was born the son of a sharecropper.

He was so poor that in order to buy a five -cent cup of coffee,

he had to find four other investors.

What has this got to do with the case?

I have no idea, Your Honor.

That's enough.

And he made me wear this dress.

Please, Mrs. Jefferson.

And I begged him, give Tom the money, I said.

She's rambling, Your Honor.

The medication is wearing off.

Could anyone ever tell you that you look like Tom Selleck?

He wanted me to say that, Joanna, but I have my limits.

Well, I think that I have heard enough.

I'll take a brief recess and then be back with my decision.

Look, honey, he's taking my pants.

Maybe he wants to take them, Tom.

We'll be right back with Judge Cronin's decision right after this commercial

break.

This is a commercial break. Everybody relax, but please hold your positions.

George, I'm afraid you're going to lose.

Come on, who cares?

I'm just in this for the free advertising.

You mean you dressed me up in this ridiculous dress?

dragged me down here, made me recite that stupid story, and had me to

myself in front of millions of people just so you could get some free

advertising?

Yeah.

Well, George, you deserve whatever you get, because you're going to lose this

case, which will tell every customer you have that Jefferson Cleaners is no

good.

Okay, we're back, everybody. Stand by, please.

In five, four, three, two... And here comes Judge Cronin

now.

Well, I've reached my decision.

This man, Mr.

Jefferson... Hang him, child.

Thank you for your...

As I was saying, it seems to me that the verdict in this case is pretty obvious.

Oh, you look tired, Judge.

What? Look, I know you get tired doing this junk day after day here. Let me

a little pressure off you, okay?

But, Mr. Jefferson, I've already reached my decision.

But your decision don't mean nothing.

I mean, it's obvious that this whole trial is going my way.

And I don't care about the fact that I'm right.

There's something else that's been gnawing at me.

I see here an unhappy customer. That hurts!

And being the kind, generous, dry cleaner that I am, who gives half off

hectic Christmas season, I have no alternative but to pay

the plaintiff for his suit.

You still haven't admitted it was your fault, you little weasel.

What a testimonial.

But that's the way we are down at Jefferson Cleaners. We care.

And for the hearing impaired, that's Jefferson Cleaners.

Well, a rather surprising conclusion to our case.

And a rather generous gesture on the part of Mr. Jefferson.

Well, what can I say? I mean, I guess I was just cursed.

with a generous nature.

But that's the way I am. That's the whole policy of Jefferson Cleary. Hold

hold it, cut it, cut it.

I'm working here.

Not anymore.

What's up?

It's a wrap.

We can't use this whole segment.

Say, why not?

Well, because Clarence Darrell here didn't let the judge make his ruling.

Sorry, folks.

What are you talking about? I was a bigger hit than that judge has ever

Maybe so.

There's one thing that you forget.

What's that?

I'm the star.

Oh, George, I just wanted to come over and thank you for being such a gentle...

Drop dead, Willis.

Well, now, that did it. You know, Helen, I can take a lot of guff, but I don't

go for that drop dead talk.

No, no.

I know, dear.

Now, listen, both of you.

You are friends. You've been friends for years.

And court is no place... for friends to air their dirty laundry.

Well, you know what I mean.

Anyway, this fighting is senseless. So why don't you two just apologize for

taking this ridiculous mess this far?

Tom.

George.

Sorry.

I guess I was a real fool.

You sure were.

George. Oh, yeah, but look, I was a jerk myself.

I mean, we should have been able to figure this out ourselves.

Yeah, nobody but a complete fool would want to be seen on a show like this.

It ain't gonna be on TV.

What you mean it ain't gonna be on TV?