All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s08e11 A Charmed Life

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up,
to the top, moving on up, to the

deep.

What's that? You got it over there,
Weez?

No, George.

This is the society page.

It's interesting to see how the other
half lives.

The other half, Weez? We are the other
half.

When we were poor, we were the lower
half. Then I started making money, we

became the upper half.

Now that we're loaded, which makes us
the other half.

We're all three halves.

I'm impressed, George. You didn't have
to use your calculator.

Where's Ralph with the Chinese food? I'm
starving.

Oh, he'll be here any minute. I placed
the order an hour ago.

By the way, how do you feel about Mugu
Gai Pan?

What can I say? That whole Middle East
situation is crazy.

Oh, look.

The Whittendales threw a big party last
night right here in the building.

Where's the artist? I don't see it.

It's in Kingsley's column.

Kingsley?

Morgan Kingsley, the social columnist.

He only goes to the top social events in
the city.

Wrong. The Jefferson Cleaners had his
bowling banquet last week.

He didn't show his face there.

Oh, here it is.

Man, look at all the big wigs that were
up there. I could have made a deal of a

lifetime.

Oh, George.

Damn, why didn't they all invite me?

I've known him for years.

We're living right in this building.

I've done business with him.

George, he hates your gut.

No, no, there's something else working
here.

All right, Weasley, what did you do to
him?

I hope that's the food, George. I hope
it's anything that will plug up your

mouth.

Is the Chinese food here yet?

Hello, Tom.

Oh, hello.

Well, where is it?

It's not here yet, but Ralph's on his
way.

I hope he's bringing chopsticks.

Yeah, knowing your husband, he should be
bringing chopped shovels.

Tell me, Louise, is George joining us at
the adult table tonight?

Helen, this was a great idea. I love
Chinese food.

So do I, but it's true what they say.
You really are hungry an hour after you

eat it.

Honey, that's the beauty of it.

Oh, boy, this is great.

I'd go crazy for egg rolls.

I'll say. You ate a carload of them at
the Whittingdale's party last night.

You were at the Whittingdale's party
last night? Oh, yeah. It was a great

You two couldn't make it, huh?

Well, no. We started to go, but at the
last minute, Weezy had a baby.

Congratulations. Uh,

Helen, we weren't at the Whittendales
because we weren't invited.

Oh, yeah, that too.

Queen, did you see today's paper? The
party was written up in Kingsley's

Yes, I was just reading about it. Gee, I
wish we had been invited.

Hey, I just can't figure it out. Look,
Willis, if you were any kind of a

you'd have walked up to Whittendales and
said, gee, this party stinks.

You should have invited my good friend,
George Jefferson. He would have livened

things up around here.

If you must know, George, Tom did ask
why you weren't invited.

And what did Whittendale say? He said he
hates your guts.

I'll get it.

George, why don't you just forget about
the party?

Yeah, you're right. It was probably just
an overthink. I mean, after all,

Whittendale couldn't invite every Tom,
Dick, and Harry.

Hello there, Mr. Jefferson, sir.

Missed you at the Whittendales party
last night.

Ralph?

He invited Ralph.

Oh, I know, I know.

Whizzy, he's just a doorman. I know, I
know.

Ralph, how come Whittendale invited you?

Sir, anybody who is anybody was there.

But you ain't nobody.

Not according to the guest list, sir.

What about me? I'm somebody.

Not according to the guest list, sir.

Wait a minute, wait, Ralph, listen.

Look, here's $5.

Now, you were there, right?

You must have heard something.

Tell me, why wasn't I invited?

Oh, no, sir, really, it's not my place.

Look, here's another $5.

Let me have it.

I couldn't, sir. It wouldn't be right.

Okay, here's $10.

Now, what did Mr. Wendell say about me?
He said he hates your guts. Have a nice

day, sir.

Well, that's settled. Let's eat.

Florence, the food's here.

I don't understand it.

I really just don't understand. I mean,
how could anybody have a party and not

want George Jefferson there?

I don't know. Maybe they couldn't find a
cupcake for you to jump out of.

George, what's the big deal?

We are different people from the
Whittendales.

They go to art museums, concerts, the
opera, the theater. Wait a second,

Look, I took you to the theater last
week.

But, George, that was a movie theater.

But it wasn't an ordinary movie.

I mean, we had front row seats, but God
help me, I'm a mushroom.

We saw that on a double bill with
There's a Fungus Among Us.

George, the point is...

The Whittendales do more cultural things
than we do.

Classier things.

Yeah, but I'm a classy guy.

Admit it, Helen.

I can be just as classy and cultured as
I want to be. Can I?

Can I?

No.

Who asked you?

As horrible as it sounds, you are my
best friend, right? Now, as friend to

friend, do I or do I not have class?

Well, um...

Will you allow me to finish my dinner
regardless of what my answer is?

George,

you're frequently loud and obnoxious.

Get out.

George, you're acting like a child.

You're being ridiculous.

You're overreacting.

You're bald.

Well, it was my turn.

All right, everybody listen up. Look, I
just made a decision.

Saturday night, I'm going to throw a
party and invite that society writer,

Morgan Kingsley, over here, and I'm
going to show him and you, once and for

that I, George Jefferson, have class and
charm.

George, let's assume that, against all
odds, you do get Kingsley over here.

bound to be disappointed.

He's used to sophisticates,
intellectuals, and long hair.

Mr. Jefferson's got long hair.

If you lay all five of them in the end.

George, you don't know the first thing
about charm.

Wrong, Weas. I know the most important
thing about charm. I know where to buy

it.

Well,

Weas, I finally did it.

I got Morgan Kingston coming over for
cocktails and hors d 'oeuvres Saturday

night.

What? How did you manage to do that?

Well, a little bit of fast talking and a
lot of creative thinking.

Just how much creative thinking?

I told him that you had an affair with
Winston Churchill.

What?

Me and Winston Churchill? How could you
do that?

Well, I panicked. He wasn't going to
come. I had to tell him something.

And don't worry about it. Kingsley
probably won't even mention it.

I can't believe this.

Look, Florence, I want you on your best
behavior Saturday night.

Oh, don't worry. I will be.

Saturday's my night off.

Oh, no.

I need you here. This has got to be a
first -class party. I need a classy and

sophisticated maid, and you're the
closest thing I got.

Now, if you want a classy and
sophisticated maid, you're going to have

up.

Okay, I'll give you 50 bucks for the
night.

I said cough. You ain't even clearing
your throat.

Okay, honey.

Do I hear some congestion?

$200.

Now you're coughing, child.

Okay, George, now that you've put money
in Florence's pocket and Winston

Churchill in my past, what's your
contribution for the evening?

Louis Alfred Grayson III.

Who? Only the greatest charm teacher in
the history of charmology.

He's coming over here in a few minutes
to make me classy.

But you've only got a week. It's
impossible.

Impossible? That's what they told
Christopher Columbus, but he showed them

he washed up on the shores of Ohio.

Oh, that's him. Come on, come on.

Look, Florence, I want you to be on your
P's and Q's with this man. He's an

artist, and he deserves all of our
respect.

Mr. Jefferson, I'm Louis Alfred Grayson
III.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Lesson number one.

Invite me in. Good evening, ladies.

I stand in awe of your beauty.

Lesson number two.

Say hello.

Oh, hello.

I'm Louise Jefferson.

And you know my husband, George. And you
are? Florence Johnston. How do you do?

Observe. The proper quote at the proper
time is always appreciated.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Oh, how lovely.

Who said that?

He said it, Weasley. Ain't you paying
attention?

No, Mr. Jefferson. It's John Keith.

He was a great poet.

Oh, yeah, John Keith. Did he write the
one about the hermit named Dave?

I see I have my work cut out for me.

Well, we'll let you two get started.

It sounds like it's going to be a long
night.

Good night, Florence.

Tonight, ere my head hits the pillow, my
dreams will be of you.

Child, did you hear that?

He said, ere his head hits the pillow.
Not before, but ere.

Child, that's so romantic.

What a beautiful woman.

Florence, beautiful?

You don't get out much, do you?

Watch it, Mr. Jefferson.

Shall we sit?

Oh, yeah, sure. You know, I really
appreciate you coming over here at the

minute. I must admit, you were lucky to
get me. I just returned from England.

The Queen needed a brush -up. Great!

You do hair, too?

Mr. Jefferson.

From our phone conversation, I gather
that you're having a person here that

you'd like to impress with your charm
and sophistication. They're right.

Well, I like a challenge.

Let's start with something that gave the
queen trouble.

Walking.

Now, please walk for me.

Okay.

How's that?

Well, that walk will get you where
you're going.

But then again, so will a 56 -year -old.

Why don't we try something else? Yeah,
why mess with perfection?

Now, you want to impress this Mr...
Kingsley. Kingsley.

What's the best way to do this?

Show him my bank book.

No.

Let you do his hair. No, no, no.

Dazzle him with your sparkling
conversation, i .e., your wit.

I -E.

Latin.

It -est.

It means, in other words... I -E.

How do you spell it?

I -E.

Oh, just the way it sounds.

Oh, this is great.

I -E.

Terrific.

Queen was a cakewalk compared to this.

Now, I will pretend to be Mr. Kingsley.
Come over and engage me in conversation.

I .e., talk to you. Yes, and stop that.

I .e., no more. I said stop it. Okay.

Now, I'm Mr. Kingsley, and you shall
ease yourself into the conversation.

Right.

Well?

Well, you look like you were having such
a good time I didn't want to know.

Besides, you told me you were Mr. King.
You didn't tell me who I was.

Is that liquor?

Yeah. You gonna show me how to pour a
drink? No.

I'm going to show you how to guzzle.

I .E.

Get smashed.

Right here on the floor.

George Charming?

I won't believe it until I see it. Well,
it's true. I've got to give him credit.

Once George decides to do something, he
never rests until it's done. And believe

me, he's a changed man.

Well, well, well.

Good evening, Helen. So glad you could
make it.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

John Keats.

And Thomas, aren't you looking dapper?

That tuxedo makes you look thinner.

I .e., less fat.

Why, thanks, George.

Hey, Helen, he is charming.

I .e., less George.

Lawrence, not since Botticelli's Venus
emerged from the Velvet Sea have I seen

such grace in motion.

jammed from your inexhaustible mind of
wit.

Okay, what did you do with Mr.
Jefferson?

Strange as it might seem, Florence,
that's George all right.

It may be Mr. Jefferson, but his show
ain't all right.

I hope this affair ain't gonna last too
long, because I want to give myself a

facial tonight.

Whatever for?

The Lord gave you a perfect face. It
needs no enhancement.

I'm beginning to like him.

Me too.

Frightening, isn't it?

Ah, the doorbell. I'll get it. Oh, no,
no. Allow me.

Did I say that?

The whole world's gone crazy.

Hello, I'm Morgan Kingsley.

Morgan Kingsley, Mr. Jefferson.

I'm George Jefferson, Mr. Kingsley. I've
admired your column for years.

Well, we have that in common.

Yes,

I have an eye for genius.

Oh, and beauty. Allow me to introduce
you to my wife, Louise.

Pleased to meet you. My pleasure.

And you must tell me everything about
you and Sir Winston.

You at the Whittingdale's party last
week, you must remember Helen Willis and

her better half, or should I say her
better three quarters.

Nice to see you again.

Good thing you two are here.

Why don't we all sit? My legs are a
little shaky.

I'm sorry your wife couldn't make it. Is
she feeling better?

Yes, a little.

She seemed to improve the moment she
spoke to her doctor.

I think there's even a quotation about a
situation like that. Oh, you must be

thinking about that quote that says,
some patients, though conscious that

condition is perilous, recover their
health with the contentment of the

of the physician.

That's it.

Who said that? Why, the original
physician himself.

Hypocrites.

Oh, you say tomato, I say tomato.

Champagne?

Thank you, yes.

Oh, Florence.

Florence has been with our employee for
the past eight years.

She's become quite indispensable.

I like to think of her as my right hand.

Well, working for a man like Mr.
Jefferson has been one of the great...

joys of my life.

I haven't seen this much bull since they
cancelled rawhide.

Will there be anything else, Mr.
Jefferson?

No, thank you, my dear.

Trundle along, child.

Thank you, sir.

Easiest 200 bucks I ever made.

there's nothing like good French
champagne.

Oh, yes. I said there's nothing quite as
special as a grape that's been picked

from a French bush.

Really? Indeed, there's something
special about a French wine.

It gives its influence.

It's je ne sais quoi.

It's unmistakable au jus.

But I'm monopolizing the whole
conversation.

Louise.

Why don't you favor Mr. Kingsley with
one of your ever -amusing anecdotes?

Okay, George.

Why don't I tell him about my two -week
fling with Joseph Stalin?

You're kidding, aren't you?

Mr. Jefferson, why don't we put an end
to this charade?

You mean charade.

You say charade, I say charade. Let's
call the whole thing off.

Mr. Jefferson, you are obviously a man
who has made some money.

Some money.

And is now trying to pass himself off as
a man of breeding.

After probably taking charm lessons for
a day.

It was a whole week.

And you think that by appearing in my
column, you will gain social

respectability? Well, as the French used
to say, oui.

Good evening.

Hey, don't leave now.

Mr. Jefferson, I never should have come
here tonight.

Mr. Whittendale warned me about you.

What did he say about me?

He said he hates your guts.

Hey,

wait a minute. I didn't finish all my
quotes.

Melancholy is the nurse of frenzy.

How sharper than a serpent's tooth.

Dead men wear no tails.

Thank you for a lovely evening, Louise.

Yeah, thanks so much. We really must be
going.

Oh, and George, for whatever it's worth,
I think you're very charming.

Beat it, fatso.

What happened, Louise? What went wrong?

I don't know, George, but I can tell you
one thing.

My beloved Winston would never have
behaved the way you did tonight.

Oh, come on. George,

why is it so important for you to be
sophisticated and classy?

Because of you.

Me? Yeah, well, I tried to give you
everything you want. I mean, you deserve

best. Good home, good clothes, a good
life. You have given me those things.

I know, but last week you wanted
something I couldn't give it to you.

Oh.

George, that happens to every man once
in a while. You were just tired.

You're not making it any easier, Weed.

I'm talking about how you wanted to go
to Whittendale's party and we didn't get

invited because I'm not classy enough.

Oh, George.

No, really, Weed. I mean, you shouldn't
have to read those papers about...

Fancy people and fancy parties. You
should be one of those people at those

parties. Instead, you're stuck with a no
-class guy like me.

George, I am not stuck with you.

I love you just as you are.

You mean it? I mean it.

Wow. I'm really glad you said that with
me.

Okay, gorgeous.

What do you say we turn in early
tonight?

Well, how are you feeling?

I ain't tired tonight.

Okay, let's go, Tiger.

You know, you were doing great for a
while there.

I was?

Yeah, you know how I like that kind of
talk.

Do some more.

Oh. Paul, eh, vous pensez? Yes!

Je vais voir.

Oh, George!