Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up to...

I need your help.

Okay, Mr. Jefferson, but this is the last time.

Now, your right shoe goes on your right foot.

Pay attention now, because this is the tricky part.

Your left shoe goes on your left foot.

Look, I know which foot is which. This is the foot that's going to kick you out

of the house.

And this is the foot that's going to dance when you're gone.

Look, I need your help. I want to get Weezy for her birthday.

Oh, that's easy. I knew her.

Mr. Jefferson, I'm sure if you ask us, you'll just say, Shorty, I have

everything in the world I could possibly want.

So why don't you get a Mercedes for our wonderful maid?

Nice craft, Lawrence.

Now try the door.

Get it yourself.

What? You ain't getting me nothing for your wife's birthday.

You called, Mr. Jefferson, sir?

Yeah, Ralph. Look, I need your help.

Today's Weezy's birthday and... Her birthday? I had no idea.

Why, you'd never know she was getting older. That woman hasn't aged a bit.

her beauty is eternal.

She ain't here, Ralph.

Oh, in that case, how is Mrs. Jefferson enjoying her golden years, sir?

Never mind. I want you to get Weezy something from me, okay? Yes, sir.

Here's $300.

Aye, but you're kind, considerate, and thoughtful, sir.

Now, where's the money for the gift?

That's it.

Now go down to the jewelry store and pick out something nice. Yes, sir.

And remember, whatever change you got left over, you just keep it.

Will do, sir.

And might I add, I feel honored to be choosing a gift for so lovely and

a woman as your wife.

I told you she ain't here.

I know, sir, but I thought you might quote me.

Hello. Hey, hi, Kurt.

Hey, you did?

What are you so happy about? That was my accountant. I just picked up a piece of

property for a song. Now I can open up a new store.

Hey, that's great news, Mr. Jefferson. Yeah, well, it's good news for the

Jefferson cleaners.

The cleaners?

I'm happy because every time you open a new store, you stay away from home.

Okay, you look, you can make fun of me if you want, but this store is on the

west side over by the dock.

Well, don't it bother you that that's right over there by Hell's Kitchen?

Florence, with your cooking, every time I eat breakfast, I'm in Hell's Kitchen.

Besides, I already got one store over there. And if I open another one, then

I'll have two stores.

Very good.

You'll be putting on your own shoes in no time.

You know, I don't know why I'm wasting my time talking to you.

Well, how did you find an empty lot like that over in a crowded neighborhood?

Well, it's not exactly completely empty.

I mean, like, um, these kids put up a basketball hoop and they sort of use it

a playground.

You mean you're going to kick a bunch of kids out onto the street just so you

can open yourself up another store?

Absolutely.

Well, when your judgment day comes, I sure hope I'm doing jury duty.

Thank you.

No, Tom, I don't feel another year older. It's just that everybody else

one year younger.

Oh, come on, Louise. You're not getting older. You're getting better.

Right, dear?

Look how great Helen is.

You know, Tom, there's a right way to say things and a wrong way to say

Oh, sorry, dear.

It's okay.

I just want you to have something to think about while you're in traction.

I'll get it.

So, Louise, what is George getting you for your birthday?

Oh, I don't know, but I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be thoughtful, sincere, and

hopefully returnable.

Well, you probably know by now what Helen and I are getting.

That woman just can't keep a secret.

No, she didn't say a thing.

Oh, I thought as soon as she got home from Bergdorf, she'd come running right

down to tell you all about it.

Bergdorf, huh?

Yes, they're having a sale of beautiful hand -painted Portuguese tea sets.

Well, she didn't mention it to me.

Well, how about that? This year, you'll actually be surprised.

Well, I have some bad news.

Let me guess.

George is coming over.

No, it's worse than that.

Louise, you know the playground over by the docks where we were planning to have

the Help Center's youth fair?

Yeah. Well, the lot's been sold.

And the new owner is planning to use the property for business.

Wasn't he told about the kids, that they need a place to play?

Well, it's obvious whoever he is just doesn't care.

What a cold -hearted monster.

You can say that again.

What a cold -hearted monster.

This land is my land.

This land is my land.

This land is my land. This land is my land.

Hello, George.

Hey, Wheezy. Ain't it a beautiful day?

Put a sock in it.

But, Wheezy, if I put a sock in it, you won't be able to hear the fantastic news

about the new business deal I made today.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. I've got something else on my mind. I know, I know. You're

all depressed because today's your birthday and you're getting old.

Look at it this way. You ain't nowhere near as old as you're going to be.

I got Mrs.

Jefferson's gift, sir. Oh, perfect timing, Ralph.

Here, we... Look, this is something to cheer you up. Uh, fine. Well, you won't

be needing these, sir, so I'll just... No, no, stick around.

Here, we open it up.

Okay, thank you, George.

I really appreciate this.

I'm sorry I'm not in a better mood, but I know I'm going to enjoy this cigarette

lighter.

Hey, look, Ralph, I gave you $300.

Well, sir, you'll notice underneath the cotton there's five extra flints.

Those are from me, Mrs. Jefferson.

Thank you.

Good night, sir. Hey, wait, wait, wait. Let me see the receipt.

Receipt?

I seem to have lost the little dickens, but I believe the price was in the

neighborhood of $250.

Oh, look, the price is still on the lighter. $19 .95.

Oh, sir.

If memory serves me, you did mention something about my keeping the change.

Look, I want my $280 back.

That'll leave me with only a nickel.

And your life.

Pardon me.

Oh!

I almost forgot to add the sales tax.

Look,

we've got to know this ain't much of a gift. Here.

Oh, what the heck. Why don't you keep the change?

From me to you.

Oh, gee.

What's the matter?

Oh, I'm just upset about the bad news I got today.

Oh, well, this ain't gonna make you feel no better.

Now, tell me all the bad news.

Well, I was upstairs... But hurry up, will you? I want to tell you my good

Well, you know that every year the health center has a youth fair. Yeah,

yeah. Well, you also know that every year we hold it at a lot where the kids

turn into a playground over by the dock.

Well, we heard today the lot's been sold and some cold -hearted monster's

putting up a business instead.

George, is there something wrong?

Yeah.

Well, you said you had some good news.

I did?

Oh.

I can't remember.

I guess it wasn't that important, huh?

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, while you were in the bathroom, your accountant came by with

a deed to that property you brought today.

Property? What property?

George, what's going on?

Nothing, Weas.

Lars is just flirting with death, that's all.

But ten minutes ago, you were jumping up and down like Donald Duck about putting

some kids off their playground so you could build yourself another store.

Son of a gun.

That's what I forgot to tell you about.

You're the one who bought our playground?

You're the cold -hearted monster?

That's me -wee.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, did I let something flipping get you in trouble?

Yes.

I'm so sorry.

Let me explain. George, how can you take that lot away from the kids? Look, I

love children. Nobody dirties clothes better than they do.

But I'm a businessman.

And a businessman can't make no money being sentimental.

Unless, of course, your name is Hallmark.

I don't believe it.

Of all the awful...

Selfish things you have ever done. This is our new law. Wheezy, you're not

taking this too good.

George, you've made this the worst birthday I've ever had.

Don't worry.

She's mad now.

But I know my Wheezy. She'll cool off in a couple hours.

Look, Louise, I know George is being rotten, stubborn, and irritating, but

all, he's only doing what he does best.

You gained a budget, all.

I tried.

I even begged him to change his mind in the name of philanthropy.

And? He said this had nothing to do with religion.

Hi, Florence.

Where have you been?

Oh, I had to get some candles for your birthday cake.

What? Well, really, Florence, one candle would have been sufficient.

Oh, no, Miss Jefferson, you're special.

And I wanted to make sure you had a candle for every year of your life.

Even if I had to buy out every stone in town.

Gee, thanks.

Florence, she's still upset about George and the playground.

Well, if Mr. Jefferson's really bugging you, why don't you just do what I do?

Pretend he ain't there.

With George?

That's impossible.

No, it ain't. Just don't look down.

But isn't it a terrible thing to do, ignoring George?

Yes, it's cruel.

It's inhuman.

It'll drive him crazy.

Let's do it!

Hey, Frosty, I'm having a little trouble finding my... Nobody's there.

Florence's mind is gone, and I want her body out of here, too.

Helen, your hair looks beautiful today.

Oh, thank you, Louise.

Hey, Louise, I got you the greatest present in the whole world.

Tom, did I ever tell you how nice you look in blue?

Oh, he looks fat in all colors.

Oh, Louise, I just love your dress.

Hey, what's going on here? I'm talking, and ain't nobody paying me no attention.

Did you make a wish, Louise?

Yeah. I wish there weren't so many candles.

It's your birthday, Louise.

The place is so clean, I can see my reflection.

Oh, now I get it.

You're all trying to ignore me, right?

Right?

Okay. Well, I'll show you that Joyce Jefferson ain't that easy to ignore.

Oh, boy, that cake looks delicious.

I can't wait to dig in.

And the decorations are so original.

Don't you think so, Louise?

Yeah. It's almost a shame to...

Okay, so that face ain't funny, huh? Try this one.

Okay,

Florence, I know how to keep you from ignoring me.

Florence, maybe you can help me out.

Do I have a big mouth?

Okay, Wheezy, I saved my big gun for last.

I know you can't possibly ignore this.

Oh, come on, Louise.

I want you to open our present.

Oh, yes.

Are you ever going to be surprised when you see what's in that?

Oh, you mean the hand -painted Portuguese tea set?

You told her.

Okay, Wheezy, if you don't want to open it, I'll open it for you, okay?

Hey, it sounds expensive.

It feels expensive.

Oh, it is expensive, Dad.

Okay, Willis, what do you think?

It's beautiful, George. Give me some more cake.

Helen, what do you think?

I think my husband's a failure compared to you, George.

True, true.

How about you, Florence?

You can't make one of them.

You shave your legs and you glue it to some clothes.

Look, Wheezy, it's your present. What do you think of it?

Well, George, you're the best husband in the whole world, and this makes up for

that stupid playground thing.

Right?

Right?

Oh, come on, Wheezy, this thing cost $8 ,000.

I love this tea set. Oh, I'm glad.

I hoped you would.

It's beautiful.

Yes. Okay, that's it. That's it.

I don't care. You don't have to talk to me. I'm leaving.

I'm going someplace where I'm somebody.

My vacant lot.

You passed for a rookie.

A rookie?

Okay, short stuff. Hit or miss for a buck.

Hit or miss?

Yeah, one shot from right here.

Okay, you got it.

You missed.

That's right. So where's my buck?

What do you mean, your buck?

I said the game was hit or miss.

And see, I missed.

So you lose.

Oh, real cute.

Thanks,

Fish.

You want to shoot?

Yeah, I don't mind if I do.

Not so fast, Dr.

J. That'll be a buck for the ball.

Oh, you're a regular little hustler, ain't you?

And remember, you're only renting.

Because this place ain't going to be here too much longer. Some fancy pants

ain't going to put up a store.

Any idea who this fancy pants is?

Oh, man, who cares?

The bottom line is, the man give it and the man take it away.

Yeah, but this place ain't nothing.

I know this neighborhood. There's a whole lot of places around here to play

ball. Name one.

Okay.

How about that place over there on 38th Street?

Gas station now.

Oh, what about the one on 10th Avenue?

Gas station.

Well, how about that big playground over on 43rd Street?

Well, now, that's a restaurant, but you can get gas there, too.

You mean to tell me that this place is it?

No, I mean to tell you that this place was it.

Of course, the dude who's buying it wouldn't know that.

Probably the closest he's ever come to Hell's Kitchen is eating his maid's

cooking.

You got that right.

But look here, ain't you been kind of hard on this guy? He could be a nice

you know.

Hey, man, let me tell you a little about rich people.

With gold...

is bold.

What's green is keen.

But what's black stays back every time.

Oh.

But see, you know, when you grow up, things start looking different.

Hey, it's gonna look the same to me.

Because when I get rich, I ain't gonna be like everybody else.

I'm gonna come back here. I'm gonna buy back this lot. I'm gonna tear down

whatever they put up. And I'm gonna give it back to the kids.

Now picture this.

The Leonard McAllister.

Playground. Leonard McAllister, huh?

Hey, I'm George Jefferson.

Jefferson. The Jefferson cleaning dude.

Oh, yeah, you heard of me? Yeah, your old lady works down at the help center.

Everybody around here goes to your store.

And you're rich.

Yeah, I guess I'm kind of a hero around here, huh?

Times are tough, and you're all we got.

Listen, you got big bucks.

Can't you make that clown go by someplace else and leave us alone?

Well, clown is kind of a harsh word.

Well, please, he doesn't understand this kind of stuff like you and me.

I'm sorry, kid.

Oh, what's the use?

Those who got get more. Those who ain't get the door.

Hey, look here, Linda.

Yeah? How'd you like to get a head start on getting rich?

I could use a good delivery boy.

All right!

Hey, hey, now, wait.

I bet you a buck that I could jump from here out to that van.

Wait a second.

Let me get this straight.

You're going to jump from here all the way to that van, right?

Right.

You got it, homeboy.

Hi, Weasley.

Hi, George.

You're talking to me.

I'm talking at you, much as you would to a wall.

What about you, Florence? You still mad at me, too?

Well, let's just say that even though you missed dinner, I kept this warm for

you. Great. What is it?

Ice cream.

Get that Wheezy. It's for you.

How do you know?

I don't have any friends, remember?

Oh. Yes.

Hi, is there somebody here called Wheezy?

Yes, that's me.

I have a delivery for you. Happy birthday.

Wait a minute.

George, aren't you going to tip him?

Oh, that's okay, lady. My boss pays me real good.

I wonder who this is.

Probably somebody thoughtful, considerate, and good -looking, too.

No, it's from you.

Dear Wheezy, I loan you that love.

I love you.

But, George, this is the D to the playground.

Yeah, I hope the kids enjoy it.

But I don't understand.

Well, see, Wheezy, I couldn't very well open up a new store.

If I figured it was going to make you unhappy.

Oh, George.

Thank you.

What changed your mind?

Your delivery boy.

Happy birthday, Weas.

Oh, George.

This is... You made this the best birthday I ever had.

Miss Jefferson, I'm going to choir practice.

Okay, Florence.

But where something warm is chilly outside.

Don't worry, I am.

That's my mink stole.

Yours? How can you get a mink stole from somebody who don't exist?

I mean, Miss Jefferson.

Emily.