Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

Like I'm doing, George?

Just get up. I don't want my wife doing that.

There's a mess.

Do you expect me to just let it sit here? Why not? Florence would have.

In case you hadn't noticed, Florence doesn't work here anymore.

Florence never worked here.

Look, Wiz, you shouldn't be doing that kind of work. I mean it.

Oh, you missed a spot right over there.

Besides, it ain't good for a woman your age.

That way, if you bend over, you might not be able to stand up again.

What happens if your knees lock?

They are not going to lock. But with any luck, your jaw will.

This ain't no laughing matter. We need a new maid.

No, we don't. And besides, nobody could take Florence's place.

A trained seal could take Florence's place.

George, there's only the two of us here now.

Besides, maids are...

Good. We're rich.

And rich people have an obligation to spend money.

Poor people are too busy working to do it.

George. Look, Weezy, I want to hear another word. I'm going to call a maid's

union now.

George. Weezy, I don't want to hear it. Mine's made up. George. What?

My knees are locked.

I was... Oh, never mind.

Is there something I can do for you, Miss... Cepeda. Carmen Cepeda.

Hi, I'm Louise Jefferson.

Sit down.

Now, tell me, why are you here?

Well, your science said help center.

do you want?

What kind of help do you got?

Well, that depends on what your problem is.

Yesterday, in a dark alley, I was robbed.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Was it you?

Oh, no, no.

But I'm sorry anyway.

weeks ago, I left Puerto Rico with all the money I had in the world.

$97.

You moved to New York with $97?

I know, that's a lot.

He's probably bought himself a tank full of gas.

Carmen,

it sounds like you need money.

Do you have a job?

No, but I've been looking.

Every employment agency tells me the same thing. We ain't got nothing. We

got nothing.

I'm sick and tired of hearing it. I know what you mean.

ain't got nothing.

I mean, you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Well,

that's one way of looking at it.

Uh, look, Carmen, exactly what is it you want to do?

I want to be Streisand.

I beg your pardon.

Streisand, you know.

People.

People who need people.

Streisand. Oh, I'm sorry, Carmen. But I'm afraid that job has already been

taken.

Just my luck. I'm always a day short and a dollar early.

Well, you don't expect to be a star overnight.

I don't. I...

It takes a lot of hard work. But I'm a hard worker.

Mrs. Jefferson, don't you know anybody who needs anybody who'll do anything?

Carmen, I'd really like to help.

I'd like you to, too.

Tell you what.

I'll make some calls, see what I can do.

And why don't you check back in three or four days?

Three?

Oh, well, these things take time. He should not take time. A man falls off a

ship and he has to hide. You don't say that.

Check back in three or four days.

Carmen, you are not drowning.

I might as well before all the help I'm getting around here.

I'm sorry.

Carmen, here.

How are your knees?

Oh, so now you want me to get down on my knees and pay?

Some help center.

And by the way, you are not in the center. This building is on the corner.

Wait.

Oh, you don't understand.

I was wondering if you'd be interested in a maid's job.

Yeah, I was already... down for a maid job.

I asked Mr. Irving Braddock.

He owns a steel company, but he wouldn't hire me.

Why not?

He said I had no experience.

He said no person in their right mind would want someone like me to be their

maid. Why'd you ask?

I was going to ask you to be our maid.

Oh, good move.

I mean it, Carmen.

My husband and I were just talking this morning about hiring a new maid.

Oh, me? Mrs. Jefferson, this would be perfect. I don't believe it. Thank you,

thank you. You're beautiful. Oh, thank you. You're wonderful.

Oh, it's nothing. And your husband, he's a saint.

Well... These are very impressive credentials you got here, Miss

Prudhomme.

That's Prudhomme.

Oh, Prudhomme. Sorry.

Please sit down. I prefer to stand in your presence, sir.

Oh, nice touch. I like that.

Okay, let's see. It says here you worked 15 years for Winthrop Sinclair.

Where have I heard that name?

Jets, sir.

Of course. He plays halfback for the Jets, right?

No, sir. He builds jets.

Right. Just testing you.

Very good, sir.

So why aren't you still working for Mr. Sinclair?

One evening, he asked me into the library where he forced his attentions

On you?

Indeed, sir.

Well, you ain't got to worry about that around here.

quarters? Oh, no, these be our quarters.

Which wing will I occupy?

The Florence wing. It's right off the living room.

And, sir, will I be cooking?

Well, if you don't, we'll be starving.

Very good, sir.

I love it when you say that.

Very good.

Yep, you got the job.

Congratulations, sir.

Thank you.

I think you'd be the perfect maid for a man of my standing and great wealth. I'm

a very rich man.

And my salary, sir?

Hey, times are tough.

George, I've got a big surprise. And I've got a bigger surprise.

Meet our new maid.

Okay, okay, no big deal. Just a little mix -up.

I'm sure we can solve this as adults without hurting anyone's feelings.

You leave.

Now, wait a minute, George.

This is Carmen Cepeda, and she's going to be our new maid.

So, I'm sorry for the mistake, but the position has been filled.

Are you crazy? This is Miss Prude Home.

She's got great credentials. Look at this.

Well, what about Carmen?

She's got great...

Knees.

All right, listen, ladies. Would you excuse us for a minute?

Wheezy, I'd like to talk to you in the kitchen, please.

We'll talk this thing over intelligently, weigh out the pros and

Carmen will leave.

Now, George, listen to me. No, you listen to me. Look, Wheezy, I'm

and I don't like to make a fuss, and I'm a broad -minded kind of guy, but the

enchiladas gotta go.

Her name is Carmen, and she's staying.

Prune face!

That's prude

home.

Prude home.

Well, I want Carmen. Prude home.

Carmen, Carmen, Carmen!

Lovely people.

Well, I suppose somebody has to be.

Well, ladies, it's all settled? Yes.

Carmen, you are going to be my new maid.

And Fruit Home, you're going to be my new maid.

Sir. Oh, thank you.

Your breakfast, sir.

Mmm, boy, that smells like weeds. That smells good.

Prudhomme, this is great. Fantastic.

What is it?

Eggs benedict, sir.

Oh, of course, of course. I just wanted Weezy to know.

And, of course, this gunk on top is, uh... Hollandaise sauce.

Good. Good. I hate it with ketchup.

Oops.

Glass whiz.

Thank you, Trudeau.

Is that what you're going to eat?

Oh, that's my maids bell.

Carmen!

That's your maids bell.

with a craving for dry cereal.

No, not just any...

Look how beautiful she sat at my table.

I feel like I'm eating in Buckingham Palace.

So how's everything over there at Mac's Truck Stop?

Rudolph!

Get the coffee out of here!

Oh, that voice cuts through me like a bug.

saw.

I like Mr. Jefferson.

He has a lot of spirit.

He's a small, loud pimple of a man.

The

pimple

calls.

Fresh, George.

Would you like some?

Nope.

Mind if I try your eggs?

Not a chance.

Mrs. Jefferson, you have such a lovely apartment.

And this table, it's beautiful.

Oh, thank you. I picked it up myself.

Prudhomme likes it too, don't you, Prudhomme?

More eggs, sir?

Prudhomme, I'm interested.

What's your opinion?

Well, I think this table goes very well with... with, uh...

more eggs, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

I really know how to pick them done a wheeze.

So, Carmen, what are you preparing for Mrs. Jefferson's dinner tonight? Gum?

Thank you, Carmen.

Hello?

Jefferson?

Who do you like to talk to?

Sorry.

Who was that?

I don't know. It was for Mr. Jefferson.

I only answered the phone for Mrs. Jefferson.

Look, Mr. Walters, I gave you my price. It's the lowest in the city.

Okay, if you don't believe me, take your business somewhere else.

What? Oh, that's better.

Okay, good, we got a deal.

See you later.

Mr.

Jefferson, that was wonderful.

You had him under a barrel.

You had the lowest price in town.

Are you kidding? It's the same price all over town.

You lied?

No, I was bluffing.

It's the American way.

George, don't tell us those things.

Why not? Weasley bluffing ain't nothing but showing that you're smarter than the

other guy.

You see, Carmen, in business, you... What am I talking to you for? You ain't

maid.

Mr. Jefferson.

Fruit home.

I've buffed your shoes, sir, and I took the liberty of replacing your odor

eaters.

Thank you, fruit home. That was very thoughtful.

No. It was very necessary.

What was the trouble, Weasley?

It's not me causing trouble. It's having two maids. That's the trouble.

I know. That's why one maid got to go. And it's obvious which maid is going to

stay.

Prude home, how long have you been a maid?

Oh, going on 30 years, sir. Oh, really?

Carmen?

Going on two hours.

Prude Home changed the odor eaters in my shoes.

Did Carmen change your odor eaters?

I don't need odor eaters.

Cheap shot, Louise.

If the shoe fits, George.

Look, I'm the man in this house, and I say what goes, and I'm saying she goes.

Yeah, well, I'm the woman in this house, and I say she stays. Look, I'm the one

who pays the rent. I'm the one who earns the money. I am Jefferson Cleaners.

are you? Well, I happen to be 50 % of Jefferson cleaners. Yeah, the 50 % that

don't work. And speaking of things that don't work, let's talk about your brain.

Oh, now you're the first one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, please. This

no good.

You are both beating a dead bush.

You have been very nice to me, but now I'm causing you trouble, so I quit.

Carmen, no. Weasley, she made up her mind.

Miss Prudhomme, the job is yours.

Well, after all, the best made one.

What's going to happen to you?

Don't worry about me. I'll find another job.

Can I use your phone?

Yeah, as long as you don't call out of the country.

Who are you going to call?

Mr. Irving Braddock. Maybe he'll hire me now. I have... to our experience.

Irving Braddock, the steel magnet.

That's the one.

Are you happy now?

Mr.

Braddock, this is Carmen Cepeda.

I was wondering if your maid job was still open.

It is?

He's desperate.

Well, I have a little experience now.

You will?

Let me do you a favor. Why don't I take the Braddock's job?

You'd be in way over your head.

Besides, it's so much cozier here with... them.

Mr. Braddock, there is a lady here who'd also like to be your maid.

Her name is Miss Crudholm.

He knows you.

Of course.

Can you use her instead of me?

You can?

Thank you. Goodbye.

You got the job.

Wonderful.

I'll send for my things.

What could be better than working for me?

Bubonic plague.

Then why do you want to leave?

Why?

Because, sir, you are a small, loud pimple of a man.

I wish you was a man.

So you could beat me up?

No, because you'd be better looking.

What a bore.

A bore? I'll handle this.

Nobody insults my husband and gets away with it except me.

Now, do you wish to leave by the elevator or over the balcony?

stuffy, two -faced snob.

Well, I never.

Believe me, dearie, it shows.

Wheezy, you were great.

Terrific.

You know, the only thing that bothers me now is that prune face is going to be

getting a job that has great pay and great hours.

No she won't.

What do you mean?

There is no job. I made it up.

You mean you lied?