Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, too deep down, moving on up, to a

deep...

it on square dance look when earth when the fire records old

mcdonald i'll be the first one in the bar

george we only one week

away from the help center hoedown and you don't even know how to do -si -do

don't know how to do -si -do do -si -do

a chance to get out of this house and do something for a change. What are you

talking about for a change? We do plenty of things.

Yeah, like what?

Yesterday we went to the bank.

Oh, that's right.

And I forgot to send the kids a postcard.

Now dance, George!

Oh, I hope that's who I think it is.

Who? Anybody.

mother.

Am I interrupting something?

Well, we were just about to do our square dancing.

Oh, I should have known. I can see you cleared all the chickens and pigs out of

the apartment.

Well, actually, it's for the help center. We are throwing a square dance

raise money.

Well, we'd much rather hear what's on your mind.

You know, the more you talk, the less I have to dance.

Well, sorry, Pop, but you better get your toes to tapping. I ain't got that

to say, except, uh, Pop, Mom, you mind if I use my old room?

Of course not.

You got something you want to store there?

Yeah, me.

Now, don't get excited, but see, Ginny and I had a little fight and I walked

out. You walked out?

Lionel, how could you do that?

Well, it was easy. I just took a couple of steps, turned and knocked.

Lionel!

Be serious. Now, what did you fight about?

Yeah, what did she do?

What? There was this poker game.

Okay, how much did you lose?

Nothing. I won.

What did you win? A nude woman?

No, Pop. See, I was just playing cards with a bunch of the guys, and I stayed

out late, and Jenny got mad.

And you walked out on your wife for that?

Look, see, Pop, it's no big thing. It's just for one night.

Oh. One night?

And then the next thing you know, it'll be another night. And then another

night. And then you know what you've got?

Three nights?

Exactly.

And that's three nights. too long. See, I knew y 'all were gonna blow this all

out of proportion. Look, it's no big thing. It's only temporary.

But if you're gonna make a big thing out of it, then I'll just go find me

somewhere else. Wait, wait, hold it, hold it.

Lionel, now this is your home.

And you know when you need a place to stay, you've got it right here.

That's right.

Now go home and settle things with your wife.

Good, shut up a minute.

Lionel, I can't believe all this is happening because of some dumb poker

Well, see, it's more than just a poker game, Mom.

Something's wrong. I just need time to think about it.

What do you mean, something's wrong?

I don't know. I'm not happy anymore.

You ain't supposed to be happy. You're married.

We're lucky.

Our marriage is an exception.

Maybe I should just...

I'm going to check into a hotel.

No, Lionel, you're not going to check into any hotel.

You're going to stay right here with your parents who love you.

What's the matter with you?

Lionel,

remember when you was a kid and we'd have disagreements? I'd send you to your

room. Right. Okay, now you're a man, so we've got to figure this out like

adults. Right.

I want you to go home to your wife and settle things like an adult.

I tried, Pop. I can't. Go to your room.

Mom, I just need some peace and quiet, okay? Be time to think. That's all.

Well, do the Willises know about this?

Only if Jenny told them.

Well, what will we say when we see them? Nothing. I don't want you saying a

word. Jenny said she would tell them, and I think it'd be better coming from

her. Wait a minute, but look if I... No, come on, Pop. Let Jenny do it, all

right?

All right.

George, I feel terrible about this.

Yeah, I wonder if Jenny told the Willises yet.

Probably. And I know when they come down here, they're going to be very upset.

Ladies, go and get your nose, chocolate pen, and a cookie dough.

Jenny hasn't called.

Either that or they're in shock.

We got to get them upstairs so they'll get the phone call.

ready to start practicing.

I'm sorry, Helen, but we really don't feel like square dancing right now.

Right. Besides, you two should be upstairs in case you get some important

calls. We're not expecting any important phone calls. Well, that's when you

usually get them.

Oh, hello, Mr. J and Mr. Willis and Mrs.

J and... Is that Mrs. Willis? What do you want, Bentley? I just stopped by to

return your toaster. And pour your lady like a roller coaster.

Oh, sure, sir.

But there is one problem with your toaster, Mr. J. What's the problem? It

doesn't work.

You broke our toaster? No, not exactly. It still makes toast. It just doesn't

pop up when it's finished.

Well, how am I supposed to know when my toaster's ready?

When you see lots of black smoke in your kitchen.

Give me that. Get out of here.

Better still, take the Willises upstairs and break all their appliances.

Hold it. We came down here to practice square dancing.

Oh, square dancing. That's a wonderful American tradition.

But there's one thing I've never been able to figure out. Why is it called

square dancing when the participants spend so much time in a circle?

That answer could make a great book. Go home and write it down.

Well, hey, let's get started. I came down here to square dance, and by gov, I

was going to do it.

Maybe we should do it some other time.

Louise, is anything wrong?

No, everything's fine.

That's not an everything is fine face.

It isn't?

Then how's this?

Oh, what's wrong, Louise?

You might as well tell her.

No, I can't.

Oh, I'm fine.

Let's dance.

Dear, she was so sensitive.

But it was such a good marriage. It still is.

Uh -oh.

I think George and Louise are having marital difficulties.

Well, you may be right.

You don't walk out on a good marriage.

George is threatening to look out.

Poor Louise.

Everything's going to work out fine.

Sure it is.

I wish there was something we could do to save it.

Maybe having another kid might help.

Let's hope they think of something else.

Mom?

What's wrong?

What do you mean, what's wrong?

Your mother's crying because of you.

She's crying because of Lionel.

Maybe they're fighting over custody.

The CD tells you what's going on.

Oh, they didn't have to, Lionel. We figured that out for ourselves.

Oh, we're so sorry, Lionel.

Oh, don't worry. It'll work itself out.

Of course it will.

I mean, I can't bear to see George and Louise split up after 30 years.

Who says splitting up?

You're not? Oh, thank goodness.

Lionel and Jenny are splitting up.

Oh, what a relief. You know, I thought... What?

Thanks, Bob.

Lionel, what happened?

Oh, Jenny and I just had a little fight.

About what?

You know, the little petty things married people fight about.

Oh, you mean like squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle?

No. Oh, letting the edge of the cheese get hard.

No. Oh, losing the twist ties on a new loaf of bread.

No, it's nothing like that.

Well, Helen, what else do we fight about?

Oh, let me think. Oh, come on, Lionel.

Now, nobody spits a little bit of twist ties and hard cheese.

Now, what's the problem between you two?

I don't know.

All I do know is that Jenny and I have been going ten rounds a night for the

last couple of weeks.

Over what?

Nothing. Everything.

Well, Lionel, you've got to do something.

Yeah, I know.

I know I've got to get me something to eat. I am starving. How do you think of

food at a time like this? Hey, look, Pop, I'm tired, I'm aggravated, and I'm

thinking straight. You know, right now, the only question I feel like answering

is do I want them to hold a pickle on my whopper?

You slammed the door in my face.

Do you have any idea what's going on?

I didn't even know they were having problems.

Well, if you didn't go dancing so much, maybe you would.

Well, I guess maybe we better talk to Jenny and get to the bottom of this. Oh,

let's go upstairs and call her. Hold it. Call her from right here. I want to

know what the hell's going on, too.

All right.

George, leave it to Helen.

She's Jenny's mother. I'm sure she knows the right way to handle this.

You're right.

Hello? Oh, give me the phone. You ain't handling this right.

Hello. Listen, young lady. Look, you and Lionel have a beautiful marriage, and I

want to see you blow it. Now, I want some answers, and I want them now.

What is the problem between you two?

What?

Oh, I see.

It's the babysitter.

Hello. This is Jenny's mother.

Is Jenny there?

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Oh, this can't be happening.

Lionel and Jenny were meant for each other, like Gable and Lombard.

Like Tracy and Hepburn.

Like peanut butter and jelly.

That's why you're always thinking about food.

It eases the pain.

You know, we may be overreacting a bit. All they had was one little fight.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

They could get a divorce.

Hey, then we wouldn't be in -laws anymore.

Thanks for trying to cheer me up.

Oh, look.

Oh, they'll get back together again.

Sure. They'll make up.

Of course they will.

Right.

What if they don't?

Oh, that must be Jenny.

Wait, wait, wait.

Look,

the poor girl has been through enough already. So whatever you do, just stay

calm and don't overreact.

Told you about our fight, huh? Yeah, what's wrong between you two?

Lionel couldn't tell us a thing.

So why are you two fighting?

I

don't

know.

Well, at least they're fighting over the same thing.

Oh, I don't understand. There must be...

anything from Leaky Water Forces to World War III.

No, I'm pretty sure it's not World War III.

Oh, come on, Weezy. Let's get out of here. We ain't gonna get nothing out of

her.

And let me tell you something. Next time me and Weezy have a fight, see if you

know anything about it.

Oh, I... I wish I could tell you why Lionel and I are fighting, but it's not

that easy.

You know, it's not like it's any one thing.

We understand.

Oh, you do?

No.

I see fighting with your wife ain't hurt your appetite none.

Hey, Pop, when I worry, I eat, okay?

Me too. Move over.

We talked to Jenny.

That's right.

Hear what she say?

Well... She told us everything.

We just wanted to come down here to make sure she was telling the truth. Now,

what's the problem between you two?

I don't know.

I guess you were telling the truth, wasn't you?

It's just... What?

Well, it's just not the thing. See, something's wrong.

Oh, you don't understand.

Yeah, we understand.

What the hell is he talking about?

Lionel, your father and I have been married for over 30 years, and we've had

more than our sheer problems.

That's right. Your mother ain't the easiest person to live with right now.

that you and Jenny are going to ruin your lives over some silly poker game.

Look, I told you, it's more than just that. It's a lot of things.

See, we just don't communicate anymore.

Well, have you talked to each other about it?

Lionel, when your father and I got married, we made a promise never to go

sleep mad at each other.

And we've kept that promise.

That's right. We got the bags under our eyes to prove it.

Come on, Pop.

Mom, I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it, but I just need time to

think, okay?

Time to think? Well, me and Wheezy Fight, we don't have to take no time to

think.

What are we going to do?

It's their problem, George.

If only we could get them together.

Maybe they could work something out.

Right. Hey, I got it. Why don't we tell them we need another couple to play

bridge?

George, we don't know how to play bridge.

In fact, neither do Lionel and Jenny.

But that's great. See, then it gives them more time to talk to each other.

I'm just trying to figure anything out.

I'm going to relax.

Why don't you turn on some music?

with the square dancing.

People running down the circle holding hands.

Hey, that's it.

That's it?

Huh. What's it?

We're gonna have our own little hootenanny down here tonight.

But I thought you hated square dancing.

Of course I hate square dancing. What's that got to do with it?

Look, I want you, Helen, and Jenny to come down here right now.

Look, I'll explain it to you when you get here. Just hurry up, okay?

Hey, Lionel, get out of here a minute.

George, you can't expect to get the kids together just by having them dance.

Sure I can. Square dancing is so boring, they have to talk to each other.

And there he is, old Twinkle Toes Jefferson himself.

I was just talking to him about what a great dancer you are.

Twinkle Toes? Pop, what are you up to?

Uh, we need another person for our square dance.

Oh, fine. I'll go put an ad in the Farmer's Almanac. We want you.

Are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious.

Okay, look, I'm not in the mood.

Who is?

We all gotta dance.

If you're gonna live here, you gotta dance, too.

Now, let's get started. Come on. George, what's up?

Remember we're supposed to rehearse our square dancing today?

George, what's wrong with your eyes?

Okay.

Everybody ready?

Let's pick partners. Willis, why don't you dance with your wife here?

Let's see, I'll dance with my wife.

And who's left?

Lionel.

Hey, why don't you just dance with your wife? Hey, it works out perfect. Okay.

Was this your idea?

No.

Mr. Jefferson.

Mr. Jefferson, listen, I know what you're trying to do, and I really

this, but, hey, it's not going to work.

Of course it will work. All you got to do is put one foot in front of the

and then you promenade.

That's what marriage is all about. It's a promenade through life.

So right now, you two are going through a do -si -do.

So what are you, Papa, a philosopher? Look, just let it go, huh?

I know you mean well, but, come on, square dancing, that's not the answer.

We got some disco music. You want to try that?

Freak out.

George. Now, look, come on, you two. You've got to think of each other and

little Jessica.

You can't just ignore this problem.

Not the only way you can work this out is if you talk to each other. Ah, Louise

is right. We're all going out to the kitchen so you two can be in here alone.

Come on, everybody.

George.

Louise, somebody's got a referee.

We might have another fight. There's a lot of sharp objects in here.

Oh, listen, we promise no violence.

Okay.

We'll see.

Well,

you know they're never going to leave us alone until we talk to Val.

Fine.

Go.

Go right ahead. Talk.

Me? Why me?

Well, I mean, you seem to do all the talking anyway.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, you don't seem to do any of the listening.

Well, maybe I would listen if you had something interesting to say.

The only thing you ever talk about is engineering.

Yeah, well, that is my job. You know, would you expect me to talk about

logs down to Hudson?

At least that would be a change.

George, what do you think?

Well, at least they're communicating.

I'll say.

I haven't seen communication like this since Ali Frazier.

time. They'll talk it out.

If it isn't your job, you're out to all hours with those boring friends of

yours. Hey, hey, well, look, I am entitled to a little fun in life, you

because I sure ain't getting any at home.

I mean, you know, I don't see what's so fascinating about your stupid friends

anyway. They're not stupid.

Oh, no?

What about, uh, Phil Walsh, the doro?

It's Phil Walsh, and he's a great guy.

What makes him so great that he can drink beer and belch at the same time?

Well, you got to admit it's a rare talent. Oh, look, this is not funny.

disgusting.

Look, Jenny, see, you can't take a joke anymore.

You don't laugh. It used to be fun.

Jenny, you have really changed.

Well, you know, Lionel, you've changed, too.

It's... Quiet, George.

Too quiet.

Well, at least they ain't throwing things at each other.

Let's go see what's happening.

Well, lovebirds!

How's everything out here? Did you two get everything settled?

Yeah, Pop, I'm glad we had this little talk.

Yeah, we discussed our problems. We came to some decisions.

Oh, so you decided to patch things up.

No, we decided I should move out.

Permanently.