Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

The next time, try to roast something from this planet.

George, the dinner was delicious.

Look, you don't have to defend her. I ate it, didn't I?

She got her revenge.

Revenge? I don't need no revenge.

Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

And he done took enough revenge on your scrawny little body already.

Hi, Louise.

Tom, get in here.

Oh, come on, Helen. I'm not sure this is such a good idea.

What is the matter with you? This is important.

Tom, you have got to stop letting people push you around.

Now get in here.

What's this all about?

Oh, it's really no big deal.

George, Tom was just insulted by one of your employees. What?

One of your employees just insulted my husband. Tell him, Tom.

Well, one of your employees just insulted me.

Well, what happened?

Well, Helen and I are going out for dinner tonight, so we stopped by your

downstairs to pick up my blue suit.

Your favorite blue suit.

Well, it's an okay suit. It fits me.

Those are the circus pants.

What's the point?

Well, when I picked up the suit, I noticed a tiny jelly stain on the lapel.

George, I hate to bother you with this. Bother him, Tom.

Bother him.

Look, there was no jelly stain when we brought the suit in. And what do you

think we saw on the counter next to the cash register?

Tell him, Tom.

Well, we saw... A half -eaten jelly donut.

manager was eating a jelly donut. And tell George what he said to us, Tom.

Well, he said... He called us liars.

And I don't think he should get away with it.

Now, don't you feel better after getting all that off your chest?

George, you better have a talk with your manager.

Damn right I will. That was Wendell Thomas, right? Well, that's a fellow.

really, George, it wasn't that major. The hell it ain't. The next time you

insult somebody important.

Take care of this right now.

Hello, Wendell.

This is Jefferson.

Your boss!

Look, I want to see you up in my apartment right now.

I said now!

George, what are you going to do?

I'm on Cannon's butt, that's what.

I should have done that months ago.

Then why didn't you?

Because he's as good at making me money as he is at making me crazy.

Then, George, maybe you ought to consider keeping him on.

But, Tom, he insulted you, don't you remember?

He called you fat, though.

Okay, so that's one for Wendell.

But I'm getting rid of him anyway. He's causing me too many problems.

George, have you ever tried to get him to change his ways?

Weezy, I have sat him down and tried to teach him everything I know about

compassion and understanding.

Why'd you sit him down?

He could have caught that one on the run.

There was another time, Weezy, when he disappeared for three hours with my

delivery truck and the part -time counter girl.

But, George, I saw him wearing a wedding ring.

Look, Willis, that ring goes on and off more than the light in your

refrigerator.

Oh, George, I forgot to tell you. When I mentioned that you were a friend of

ours, all he said was, hmm, I'm not afraid of that little midget.

Midget!

Okay, so there's another one for Wendell.

Okay, look, I'll take care of this.

And look, don't worry about your suit.

You're a customer of mine, and Jefferson's customers always get

I'll clean your tooth again myself the right way.

Free of charge.

Grow up, Willis.

George, I don't mean to interfere, but maybe Wendell deserves a second chance.

Forget it, Weezy. He's rude.

He's obnoxious. He shoots off his mouth.

I mean, you don't know what it's like constantly being around a man like that.

I can only imagine it.

Well, I'm through with the dishes, so if you don't want nothing else, I think

I'm going to take a nap.

Well, how about that?

Do you want to get the door?

Let me put it like this.

Come on now, Wendell.

Hey, I hope this won't take long. You see, it's my... Wipes bridge night, and

made other plans, if you know what I mean.

It won't take long.

Oh, you don't mind if I smoke, do you? Well, good.

Oh, and boss, something hilarious happened today.

You were like this.

Old Lady McIntyre came in to pick up her cleaning today.

On her way out, she tripped on that loose floorboard, fell on her face, got

cleaning all dirty, had to come right back and get it cleaned all over again.

And just think, You wanted me to fix that floorboard.

Remember, Mrs.

McIntyre is one of our best customers.

Not anymore. She's suing you. What?

Don't worry.

She's old.

By the time the case gets to court, she'll be history.

Look, did anything else happen today that I should know about? Not a thing.

Everything's cool.

You got along with everybody?

Yep. Especially the part -time counter girl, if you know what I mean.

Sit down.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

I could use the rest.

Get your feet off the table. My wife wouldn't appreciate it.

You let her push you around like that? Not me. My old lady steps out of line,

smack. That's what she gets from me.

That makes you feel like a man?

Usually.

Look, enough of the small talk, Wendell.

I got a complaint about you today. Oh, man, let me guess.

The fat blimp with the jelly stain.

But the fat blimp happens to be a friend of mine. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you was hanging around with a better class of people.

I don't like getting complaints about my employees.

I ain't been getting no complaints.

Just ask the counter girl, if you know what I mean.

You know something, Wendell?

I don't like you, if you know what I mean.

Look,

you're rude to my customers.

They're idiots.

You're rude to my employees.

They're idiots.

And you're even rude to me.

Okay, Wendell, I'm going to give it to you straight.

Ain't no easy way to do this.

I've given you every break I've been over backwards.

I'll give you a chance.

And you let me down.

So, it's all going to end right here. Right now. It's over.

Well, got anything to say for yourself?

Why do you like that? I'm trying to fire the guy and he falls asleep.

Wendell, get out.

It's over.

It's through.

You're finished.

You are dead.

I did.

Hey, hey, hey, Wendell, look, that was just a figure of speech.

Wendell, please, hey!

I killed him.

I killed him, Weeds.

From now on, they're going to call me George Jefferson, the angel of death.

George, it wasn't your fault. You tried to give him CPR, but he had a stroke.

The doctor, Said there was nothing you could do.

So you're not responsible?

Yeah.

Maybe Wendell knew I was going to fire him. When he realized he wouldn't be

working for a great boss like me, it sucked the life right out of him.

George, Wendell could have died any time.

At work, at home, on the subway.

Unfortunately, he died here.

On my new couch.

Yeah, I guess you're right, Weasley.

It wasn't my fault what happened to Wendell.

Florence, did you get the door?

You're closer.

You want to get fired?

Uh -uh.

After what you did to Wendell, I think I'll just retire.

Hello.

Welcome to Boot Hill.

Is Mr. Jefferson there?

Yeah, I'm George Jefferson.

How do you do? I'm Fred Thomas, Wendell's brother.

Oh, yeah, hi. How are you? Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. I

it was just the strangest thing. I mean, one minute, he's sitting on the couch

talking up a blue streak, and the next minute, he's lying on the couch, just

blue.

You have our deepest sympathies, Mr. Thomas, and please convey them to Mrs.

Thomas. Oh, I will. She's with Wendell right now.

You mean she's dead, too?

No, I mean she's at the funeral home with his remains.

George was just telling us today what a wonderful man Wendell was.

I was.

I mean, yes, I was.

I'm so glad you feel that way, Mr. Jefferson, because I have a favor I'd

ask of you. Go ahead, ask. Anything you want, just ask me.

Would you deliver the eulogy at Wendell's funeral?

I mean, I know nobody likes to do these things, Mr. Jefferson, but it would mean

a lot to our family.

Well...

Okay, okay. Anything for an old friend. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

The service will be at Foster's Funeral Home Thursday at 3 o 'clock. Oh.

Okay? Okay, fine. Thank you. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I can't give no eulogy for Wendell.

What can you say about a man you can't stand?

I'd be glad to give you a few corners.

because you're good at it.

Now, I want you to hear what I've done so far on Wendell's eulogy.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bid fond farewell

to Wendell Thomas.

Very good, and not too long.

Wendell ate from the tree of happiness.

and enjoyed the fruit of life.

But suddenly, his fruits rotted on the vine.

I'm moved.

Wait, there's more.

God loaned us Wendell, but he became an overdue book in the

library of humanity.

Why was Wendell called back?

I just had some reading to do.

Look, Florence, this is not supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be sad.

Oh, it's more than sad.

It's pathetic.

Oh,

Mr. J, I... I found that old eulogy I told you about.

Oh, great, Bentley. Come on in.

You're a genius, Bentley. You're incredible.

Yes, I know.

Regina told me the same thing last night. Whoop.

Well,

let's hear it.

Oh, well, you see, first I put on a little soft music.

Then I dimmed the light, took Regina in my arms. Bentley, I'll wait to see the

movie.

Oh, oh, well, now you must bear in mind this was written several years ago for

my friend Rufus. So you see, I simply substituted your friend's name for his.

Oh, nice touch.

Friends, we are gathered here today to bid our final farewell to Wendell's

earthly remains.

Not bad.

He was a good and loyal companion until the last.

I remember... I remember... I remember...

I can push on now.

I remember the wonderful times we had together. The special moments we shared.

The way Wendell used to smile when I rubbed his stomach.

The way he would jump on my lap, lick my hand, and yes, wag his little tail.

Wait a minute, Bentley.

Bentley.

Wendell was a dog, wasn't he?

No, Mr.

J. Wendell was your manager.

Rufus was a dog.

The door, Bentley.

Well,

how's the eulogy coming, George?

Well, Wheezy, why don't you just write me a note and say I'm sick?

George, you have to do this.

It's your duty to his family and friends.

He didn't have any friends, Weeds. The man was a bum.

A bum.

There are certain times when you have to tell little white lies.

Like when?

Well, for example, suppose you bought me a dress and I hated it.

I'll tell you I loved it. Why?

Because I wouldn't want to hurt you. Understand?

Yeah. You hate that dress, don't you?

No, George.

I bought you that dress last year. You told me you loved it.

George, I'm just trying to make a point.

I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have bought that dress.

But there's nothing wrong with the dress. I paid $500 for that dress. I

care how much.

$500.

For this?

See, you hate it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew you... George, George, forget

about the dress.

Now, all you have to do is stand up and say a few nice words.

Now, what is the best thing you can say about Wendell?

He's dead.

No, I meant character traits.

What was he like?

Well, he cheated on his wife.

Oh.

Well, when you give the eulogy.

You can just put that in a different way.

You can just say he loved everyone.

That's pretty good, Weas.

Okay. And he was a know -it -all.

He was knowledgeable.

Quiet, Weas.

He was a loudmouth.

Outspoken.

I got ahead of you, Weas. You really know how to lie.

George, you do not have laryngitis.

How do you know?

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here to pay our final respects to...

Wendell Thomas.

Here with some kind words about Brother Thomas is his employer and close,

close friend, Mr.

George Jefferson.

Knock him dead, George.

Good luck.

As I look around the room, I see many faces of those near and dear to

Wendell Thomas.

That's why I'm especially honored to say a few words in his memory.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Wendell Thomas was a wonderful man.

A vibrant man.

So full of life.

When you think of Wendell, so many words come to mind.

He was knowledgeable.

Outspoken.

And he loved everyone.

He touched everyone he knew.

Only met Wendell once, but he left a strong impression on her.

I can't believe George paid $500 for this.

Wendell Thomas was a family man, a good provider, and

none of us will miss him more than his grieving widow, Yvonne.

He was a loving husband.

He was loving all right.

Loving every woman he could get his hand on.

Yes.

And let's not forget his loving brother, who was holding up so well at this time

of sorrow.

I never thought I'd find someone to do this eulogy.

14 people turned me down before I found this sack of jars.

Yes, all of our lives are just a bit emptier with the loss of this fine man.

And perhaps it's only fitting tribute that we pause for a moment of silence

look back at the way Wendell affected our lives.

He kicked my dog.

He owed me 50 bucks.

He wrecked my car.

He cheated on me.

He cheated on me.

He cheated on me.

Nice and warm in here.

Thank you.

In closing, let me say that Wendell left his mark on all of us.

I'm sure we all feel the same way about Wendell Thomas.

You may be gone.

But you're not forgotten.

If you know what I mean.

Oh, that was lovely, George.

Yeah, Weezy, but I felt like a hypocrite up there. It taught me something,

though.

If you want people to say something nice about you when you're dead, you gotta

do nice things when you're alive.

You're right, George.

But I think your words were a real comfort to his family and friends.

You said such beautiful words.

Just beautiful.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Ah, another funeral and another 500 bucks.