Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up. To the side. We're moving on up.

To a deep.

Special Valentine's Day dinner for the most marvelous man in the world.

Really? And I thought you were making dinner for Mr. Jefferson.

Do me a favor.

Listen to this Valentine and tell me what you think before I send it off.

My darling Billy Dee Williams.

Florence, today is Valentine's Day. So your darling Billy Dee Williams is going

to get his card late.

I know.

I don't want you to get mixed up with them cards he gets from lonely,

women who bother him all the time.

Oh, hi, George.

Don't talk to me.

Well, what's wrong?

The whole world might think that the dry cleaning business is a glamorous

profession, but some days it's just another lousy job.

Well, maybe this will cheer you up.

I'm making you a special dinner for tonight, and this is a little something

after dinner.

Uh -uh.

It's for later.

What's the occasion?

You mean to tell me you don't know it's Valentine's Day?

It is.

Of course I know it's Valentine's Day. How could I forget that?

Well, nobody could blame you if you did.

I mean,

you can't be expected to remember Valentine's Day and your way home from

I know you think I forgot it was Valentine's Day, right? But I didn't. I

favorite wife a present.

You did?

That's right. What is it?

Close your eyes.

Okay.

Here's a hundred bucks.

Go out and buy yourself something real nice.

I can see you put a lot of thought in this, George.

You bet I did.

You didn't even bother to get me a card.

Hold it.

Here you go.

Buy yourself a card.

Bring it to me, and I'll sign it.

Oh, come on, Weezy. Look, I've been busy. I've hardly been home.

And I sure do appreciate it.

Oh, hi, George. Oh, Louise.

I can't wait to show you what I got Tom for Valentine's Day.

Oh, Tom, come on in.

Ta -da!

It was imported from Paris.

They must have thrown it out of the country.

Tom. I think you look wonderful.

Oh, thank you. You don't think it makes me look too, uh... Fat, bald, ugly,

stupid? George!

Uh, Louise, did you two exchange presents?

I got George some beautiful silk pajamas.

Silk? Oh, I hope they don't make him look too, uh, too, uh... Short, bald,

stupid?

It doesn't matter what they make him look like. The pajamas are going back.

Why don't we keep the pajamas and send Miss Jefferson back?

Oh, Louise, I bet you'll never guess what Tom gave to me.

He wrote me a love poem.

A poem.

What a tight one.

George, I adore poems.

Oh, yeah? Well, how come every time I tell you a poem, you tell me to shut up?

I never told you to shut up.

There once was a hermit named Dave. Shut up!

Why don't you recite your poem?

Well, I...

Oh, no, I'm too shy.

Well, I'll tell it to you. It goes like this.

Oh, Helen.

Oh, Helen. Oh, weren't you listening? That's my Helen, my Helen, not oh,

oh, Helen.

Well, that was touching. Thanks for sharing it with me. Bye.

Now, wait a minute. There's more. Here, give me that. More.

My Helen, my Helen.

The love of my life. The woman I'm proud to say is my wife.

Troubles may assail me. My cupboard may be bare, yet the sun still shines.

when my Helen is there.

So,

on Valentine's Day, I'm happy to say, excuse me for yelling, but I love

you, Helen.

What a perfect Valentine's Day present. It came from the heart.

Yeah. Mine was better. It came from the wallet.

Oh, Mr. Willis, that was so inspiring.

Do you mind if I borrow a few lines? Oh, I'd be honored.

Oh, Billy Dee.

Oh, Billy Dee. That's my Billy Dee. My Billy Dee.

My Billy Dee.

My Billy Dee.

Oh, you're a lucky woman, Helen.

I know.

Lucky? How can she be lucky? She's married to Willis.

Old Moby Grape was too cheap to even buy a real present.

A love poem is a real present.

Look, it didn't cost a dime.

Money has absolutely nothing to do with love.

Uh, Tom, I think we'd better go.

Aw, gee. Now?

Louise was just about to give him both barrels.

She promised to take me for a carriage ride around Central Park, dear.

You hear that? A carriage ride.

Do you see how romantic he is? He's a miser. He's just too cheap to spring for

cab. I am not.

I've never been so embarrassed.

Me neither. Boy, that was a dumb poem, wasn't it?

Excuse me for yelling.

I'm talking about your behavior.

And there's nothing dumb about a husband telling his wife he loves her.

You ought to try it once in a while.

What are you talking about? Look, we've been married now for...

to know what you mean to me.

It wouldn't hurt to hear it once in a while. Okay, what do you want, a poem?

Some of that mushy, gushy stuff? That's what people in love not marry people.

It's even more important when you're married. A woman needs to know she's

special. Everybody does.

That's why I tried to show you how special you are to me.

Okay, I'm going to show you how special you are to me.

Tomorrow, go out and buy yourself another mink.

coat uh george what you haven't

the faintest idea what i've been talking about do you nope

here's your money back go buy yourself a heart

Mr. Jefferson. Charlie, Charlie.

Ah, lovely day, eh, Mr. J?

How's Mrs. J? Oh, yeah.

Had a little tip, eh?

Our women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

Heavy, Bentley.

Good to see you, Mr. Jefferson.

How's the missus? Oh, there's been a little marital discord, I fear.

Yeah, we've made at me. I can't figure out what I did wrong.

women, you can't live with them, you can't live without them.

Well said.

I'll tell you what happened.

Willis wrote a poem for his wife, right?

So I offered to buy a weasel a mink coat and she gets mad at me.

Would you rather have a mink coat or a stupid poem?

Well, that all depends.

Would the pelt be ranch bread?

Well, you know, Mr. Jefferson, sometimes it takes more than money to please a

woman. Let's face it, women are curious creatures.

Yeah, I know you can't live with them and live without them.

Exactly.

But you know, Charlie's right, Mr. J.

Women thrive on love and romance.

They need to feel that they're special.

Well, I tried to make her feel special, but it just didn't turn out right.

Well, the same thing happened to a friend of mine down under.

A dead guy?

Oh, no, Mr. Jefferson, down under means an Australian.

Oh, an Australian dead guy.

Now, you see, this friend of mine fell in love with a lovely lady, but she

wouldn't give him a tumble. He bought her a rose, and she threw it in his

He bought her candy, and she threw it in his face.

He bought her a diamond ring, and she threw it in his face.

No, that she kept.

She was rude, but she was no fool.

My friend decided to give it one more try, so he composed a love song for the

lady, and he serenaded her from under her balcony.

Was she to pour hot water on him?

Au contraire.

I was right?

No, Mr. J. The lady was so touched that she fell in love on the spot, and they

were married within a fortnight.

Ah, I love happy endings.

Well, the actual ending wasn't all that happy. They decided to honeymoon out in

the outback. Their very first night together, they were stomped to death by

band of rabid kangaroos.

My God, the irony.

Hey, Bentley, that's it.

I'm gonna sing Weave Your Love songs just for her.

Hey, that's great, Mr. Jefferson.

Music is the language of love.

Hey, say, I got a friend of mine who's a composer. Why, he can knock out a tune

in no time.

I ain't got to buy no song. I can knock one out by myself.

Come on, we got work to do.

Well, I'm more than happy to help, Mr. J., but I really don't have much time.

ain't going to take that long, Bentley. Just noodle around a little bit. Get a

little inspiration here.

All right.

Tell your ma.

Tell your pa.

Mr. J, I think we ought to stop and collect our thoughts, eh?

What exactly would you like to say to Mrs. J?

Well, that I love her.

Well, that's beautiful. You see, now all you have to do is to put that thought

into a love song.

I love her.

Not exactly chock full of information, is it?

There must be something else you'd like to say to her, Mr. J.

Let's see. Well, I want to tell her what she means to me, how lucky I am to have

her, and like all the money in the world, it wouldn't mean anything without

Well, those are lovely sentiments. Now, all you have to do is to put those

thoughts into poetic form.

I've got to go, but I'll be back to work on your song later. Wait a minute. Come

here. I need a piano player.

Charlie,

do you have the songwriter's address?

You said, uh, the moon where, uh, we walk, we walk.

When I met you in Piccadilly Square.

Hello?

Uh, no, I'm sorry. You got the wrong number.

the wrong number.

But you dialed

Come to the right place, grab a chair, put a smile on your face.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Hey, there's nobody better.

Not even Lana Turner with a sweater.

Charlie Clark told me you were good, but he didn't tell me what is good.

Have you done anything famous?

I wrote Mr.

Ed's Vegas act.

Of course, of course.

That's it.

Love songs are my specialty.

Terrific. I need one for my wheezy.

You got a pet weasel?

No, that's my wife. My wife's wheezy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Asthmatic, huh?

Well, we all got our problems.

My wife's got no teeth.

Could you write a song for me?

Sure, I could have it ready for you in a week. But today is Valentine's Day. Oh,

jeez, I forgot.

My wife's gonna kill me.

At least she won't bite you.

Well, well, that's true, but I'd better buy her something nice.

Well, just write her a song.

Are you kidding?

She doesn't want any more songs.

How many times has she told me, Sammy, say it with cash?

I'll tell you what. You write a song for my wife, I'll give you cash for yours.

You're on.

Well, tell me something about yourself. What do you do?

Well, I'm a dryer cleaner.

Oh, wow.

I always wanted to write about that. I never did before.

But I always wanted to.

Just a minute.

Let's see.

Press and steam.

I've got a crease in my heart over you.

There's a permanent thing where you gave me that pain.

And I'm steamed because you said we were through.

I wanted something a little more romantic. You know, how much is this

cost me?

Just like that, how much?

This song will come from my soul.

It'll be art.

How can you put a price on art?

How about a hundred bucks?

Sold.

Okay, George, what's this all about?

I want you to hear all the reasons why Wheezy's lucky to be married to me.

Oh, well, this won't take long.

My darling, my love, here you sit right here in the seat of honor.

And the rest of you, who cares?

Look, Weezy, I know you've made at me and you've got every reason to be.

I was wrong and you were right.

Love is more than giving money. It's giving of yourself.

I hope you really mean that, George.

Of course I mean it.

And to prove it, I, George Jefferson, am going to sing a song.

I have something very special for my Wheezy.

I've been working all day, all by myself.

Sweating, slaving.

Reaching deep inside my heart.

Nay, inside my very soul. Mr. J, I think you're pushing.

Wheezy, this is from me to you.

Hit it, Vince.

We started out with nothing.

Beans and meatless stew.

Now we're rich, but here's the hitch.

It wouldn't mean a thing without you.

And how can I show my love?

Wheezy, it's not easy to do.

I could buy you diamonds.

I could buy you cars.

I could tell you that your eyes are brighter than the stars.

But that wouldn't be the way for me to show my love for you.

Wheezy, my wheezy, I love you, can't you see?

That all the money in the world can mean as much to me.

So forget about the riches and the things that men can buy.

The jewelry, furs, and custom cars that simply don't apply.

Just let me croon this simple tune.

To show my love to you.

Weezy. It's so easy.

To be in love.

George, that was beautiful.

What are you doing?

I'm just checking to make sure it's you.

You actually did something nice.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, I just got to go blow my nose.

You know, George, I didn't think you had it in you.

Hey, Helen, look, I'm deep.

George. Would you consider putting my poem to music? You're very talented.

I'm busy, Willis. I'm working on a boring musical.

Call me in a couple of days.

Oh, George.

That was the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.

Hey, what can I say? I'm a beautiful guy.

Hey, come on and sit over here.

Yo, Charlie.

How about some champagne over here?

Oh, thank you, Mr. J.

George.

I never knew you could write love songs.

Everything rhymed so beautifully.

Yeah, it did rhyme, didn't it?

Hey, Mr. Jefferson, that was terrific.

Yeah, well, I guess some of us are just blessed with natural talent. Yeah.

Say, I better call my friend and tell him how much Mrs. Jefferson loved the

he wrote, huh?

Sure.

Oh,

see, what I meant was I want to call you.

You're my friend, to tell you how much she, Mrs. Jefferson, loved your song.

Ah, that you wrote.

I'll, uh, see you later.

George. Come on, we don't ruin this moment with words, okay?

I thought you said you wrote that song all by yourself.

Yeah, we... And I thought you really meant it when you said love is more than

giving money.

It is. But you were lying.

That song didn't come from you.

You might as well have handed me $50 and said, go out and buy yourself a song.

But it cost $100.

That's better than $50.

Mrs. J, not to be a Barinsky, but I think you're being a little harsh on Mr.

Mr. Bentley, you don't understand.

Well, perhaps in this one instance, it's you who doesn't understand.

You see, Mr. J did put forth a valiant effort to write a song himself.

Now, he only turned for help to a professional composer when he felt that

song he'd written wasn't good enough for you.

And, you see, while it's true that he did need some help arranging his

the feelings for you in that song are all his.

Thank you, Mr. Bentley.

George. All I can say is I'm sorry I did it again.

The only thing I'm good for is buying things.

That's not true.

The thoughts in that song came from your heart, and that means more to me than

you'll ever know.

Well, I do love you, Weezy, but I just don't know how to say it. You just said

it.

And you said it just fine.

I'm sorry I had to use that other guy's song.

That's not his song, George.

From now on, that's our song.

Play it again, Bent.