Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

I want to donate it to the help center rummage sale.

We are getting things organized tonight.

Oh.

Oh.

Why, look at him.

My blouse.

What was it doing there?

I don't know.

But it must have been there a long time. Look at all the dust on it.

Well, I'll just put it in here with the things I'm going to give to them.

Do you... have any old clothes you want to donate?

I don't donate my old clothes, Miss Jefferson. I wear them.

Well, let me know if there's any little thing that you don't have any use for.

You think they take Mr. Jefferson?

Oh, Helen, I just want to sit around and relax. Take it easy.

Lately, all you do is sit around.

That's not true.

The truth is, you're putting on weight, dear.

I am not. I'm just retaining water.

I hate to interrupt, but you did ring my bell. Oh, I'm sorry, Louise. I just

want Tom to get out and do something while we're setting up for tomorrow's

rummage sale.

Well, maybe George and I could do something together.

Oh, I'm afraid not, Tom. George is busy.

The Jefferson Cleaners bowling team is having an important match tonight.

Oh, since when does George have a bowling team?

Ever since he found out Cunningham Cleaners has one.

Oh, you know, bowling would be good for you.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind that at all. I love bowling.

I played it twice when I was ten.

It's great recreation for George. It helps him relax.

Hey, Weezy, my lucky socks, they're gone.

I'm not going to bowl without my lucky socks.

Well, George, take it easy.

You have plenty of socks.

You don't understand. These are my lucky socks.

Well, don't worry about them. I'm sure wherever they are, they have each other.

That's the wisecracks, Weaves.

Look, tonight is the semifinals. We've got to win tonight if we expect to beat

that louse Cunningham tomorrow night in the finals.

Now, George, it's just a game. Just a game? Just a game. You might as well

me that I'm just a dry cleaner.

Oh, I'm sorry. I lost my head.

It ain't just a game to Cunningham. He won the trophy last year, and he got the

cleaning contracts for every team in the league. So this year, I want that

contract, and I can't get it without my lucky socks.

What do your lucky socks look like?

They're white with black stripes.

They gotta be right here somewhere.

No trouble.

Louise, we better get going.

Oh, you're right, Helen.

There's a good luck hit.

Hey, Louise, I feel like a matador. Tonight, I face my moment of truth.

Oh, not quite, George.

The matador fights the bull. You throw it.

I really like your bowling shirt, George.

Oh, me too, Mr. Jefferson. Can I have it when you're through with it?

Florence, now what would you do with my bowling shirt?

Give it to my niece.

She needs clothes for her cupid doll.

Hello. Hey, Vito.

Hey, you ready to knock him dead?

What? What do you mean you can't bowl tonight?

Because your mother's sick.

Come on, Vito, where's your priority?

Vito, we need you.

But we need you!

Oh, who needs you, man?

George, something the matter?

Vito Manucci, my best bowler, he can't bowl tonight. I gotta find somebody to

replace him, or else we have to forfeit the tournament.

Gotta be somebody.

Hold on, who can I get?

Well, maybe I can help. You know somebody?

Me! I can bowl for you. You? Bowl?

Ha ha!

What's so hard to believe about that?

Well, in order to bowl, you have to bend over.

I'll have you know, I spent a few hours hanging around the old alleys. Oh, yeah?

How long you been bowling?

Well, I started when I was ten.

Ten?

Congratulations, old buddy. You just made the team.

Hey, hey, hey.

Okay, come on. Let's get down to the alley.

Okay. Get in there and knock them over.

Oh, great.

I hate just sitting around. The exercise will be good for me, too. You know,

I've been retaining a little water lately.

A little? Looks like you've got Lake Erie in there.

Hey, George, I can't wait to get started.

You know, I already feel like one of the boys.

One of the boys? You look more like three of them.

Hey, what's that all about?

Well, that's the old loudmouth Cunningham. Listen, Willis, to be on my

have to work for me. So if Cunningham asks about it, you should tell him that

you're, uh, my vice president in charge of fluffing and drying.

Yeah, but... Well, Jefferson, we won.

Again. Which means we're in the finals.

Again. And which means we're getting on my nerves again.

Come on, come on, Jefferson. I hope your team wins tonight. I really do.

Because we want to destroy you personally in the finals tomorrow night.

Oh, yeah. We're going to clean your clock.

How are you going to do that? You can't even clean pants.

That's a lie, Jefferson.

Every garment I clean comes out shining.

Oh, yeah? What do you do, buff it with your head?

Game -shining, boss.

Oh, hey, hey, let's get him. Go ahead, Willis, you first up. Wait, wait, wait,

wait a minute. Who is this guy? He don't work for you.

Yes, he does. He's my... Uh, vice president in charge of fluffing and

Fluffing and drying?

Yeah. Every dry cleaner dries, but very few fluff.

Now, as vice president in charge of this procedure... Oh, just ball willows.

Come on, Jefferson. Who do you think you're kidding? This new guy's a ringer,

and you know it. You can't get away with that.

What are you talking about? There ain't no ringers on my team.

Come on, your whole team's made up of ringers. Why, the guy this guy's

is a ringer. That guy Vito... Vito Minucci? He ain't no ringer, man. He's

hang -on bender.

There's no such job.

No such job? How about the guy on your team that you told me was your plastic

bag counter?

Well, he is.

And your team captain at night, your best bowler. In the daytime, your zipper

lubricator.

All right, all right. So I've got a few ringers. But those are old ringers. This

Fluff and Dry, he's a new ringer. And that's not fair. He can't bowl. Oh, come

here.

You bowled in the tent.

I did.

But I stopped bowling when I was ten and a half.

Why? I got blisters.

By the way, Jefferson, about old Fluff and Dry, he's okay by me.

save my best game for last.

Yeah, big 43.

Nice job.

Jefferson, you need a strike to win.

Understand the pressure?

Well, hey, come on, fellas. Let's let George know we're with him, huh?

George, George, he's our man.

If he can't do it...

tomorrow night, head to head.

Hey, speaking of heads, Cunningham, you better start wearing a hat.

Somebody's gonna walk up to you with a bowling bag and take you home.

You're a bum, Jefferson.

And you don't stand a chance of winning that trophy, because I got a secret

weapon going for me.

And what's that?

Old fluff and dry going for you.

Thanks again for...

volunteering to help at the rummage sale tonight, Florence.

Well, I could stay home and wait for Billy Dee Williams to call, but I say,

him suffer.

Oh, hi, Helen. Hi, Louise. Is George at home?

No, not yet.

Oh, too bad.

I want to tell him how terrific I think he is. Oh.

Uh, Miss Willis, why don't you lie down on the sofa?

I'll go get you at the moment.

I'm fine.

I just want to thank George for putting Tom on the bowling team.

I haven't seen him so excited about anything in a long time.

No kidding. He bought himself a brand new bowling ball, a pair of shoes, and a

shirt just like the rest of the team.

Oh, last night, he asked me if he could sleep in that shirt.

What did you tell him? I said, Tom, either the shirt or the shoes, but not

That reminds me, Miss Jefferson, I got a pair I'm going to donate. Oh, thanks,

Florence. That's really thoughtful.

Oh, don't mention it. It's for a good cause.

Cause they ugly.

Oh, Louise, Louise, you wouldn't believe Tom. This afternoon, he stayed home

from work so he could go down to the bowling alley and practice.

He just called to tell me he got two strikes in a row.

He called you before Walter Cronkite?

Come on, Louise. You know, I'm really glad that he's got something he cares so

much about. All he's been talking about is a big tournament tonight.

George, too. Let me tell you something, Helen. This bowling business does have

one good side effect.

Ever since George's team has been winning, George has been, well, he's

been pretty frisky.

Well, now that you mention it, Louise, Tom was a little perky last night.

For the first time in months, we missed Johnny Carson's monologue.

Oh, um, Louise, I'll meet you down at the help center later.

Where are you going now?

I'm going to buy a new negligee in case Tom wins tonight.

Well, here they are.

See, I told you they was ugly.

Well, maybe somebody will be dumb enough to buy them, huh?

Well, after all, I was dumb enough to buy them for your birthday two years

And, um, donating them to the rummage sale is just my way of saying thanks.

Hey, Weasley, guess what?

Well... Oh, never mind, you never guess.

Vito called and his mother ain't sick no more. That means I got my best bowler

back. That means I don't have to let Willis bowl.

Oh, well, you're not going to use Tom?

Hell no.

Think about it, Weasley.

If you owned Secretariat, would you raise a jackass?

That's a good point.

Because if I didn't need the money, I sure wouldn't work for one.

George, Tom will be very disappointed.

We've got an old saying in sports, who cares?

Helen was just here, and she told me Tom has been practicing for your tournament

all day.

He even bowled two strikes in a row.

Well, don't tell me. Tell it to Ripley's, believe it or not.

You'll be getting on the same page with that potato from New Jersey that looks

like Nixon.

George, couldn't you let Tom bowl? This tournament means a lot to him. And that

trophy means a lot to me. Sorry, Weezy.

Beto's bowling, Willis ain't. That's that.

Okay, then do me a favor.

When you break the news to Tom, do it gently.

Okay, okay, I'll do it gently.

When I walk through this door tonight, I will be carrying with me a trophy three

feet tall.

Really?

Well, how are we going to know which one is you?

George, what did you get?

Hey.

Hi,

George.

Oh, George, I want to thank you for all this. I mean, I really feel great being

one of the guys, all of us striving for the same cause. It's...

It's like being in a beer commercial.

You know what I did today?

You bowled two strikes in a row.

Wow, it's all over town.

Look, Willis, let me tell you something.

Oh, yeah, but first, let me tell you how I feel.

I mean, thanks to you, George, I'm finally part of a team.

And better than that, it's a winning team.

Yeah, well, you're half right, Willis. It is a winning team, but you ain't on

it.

What? Look, let me break it to you gently.

You ain't bowling tonight.

I ain't? I mean, I'm not.

But why, George?

That's why.

Vito's back. He's going to help me win that trophy.

Hey, Vito, welcome back.

You ain't nervous, are you? Hey, boss, I don't even know the meaning of the

word. All right.

He don't know the meaning of most words.

There, can he bowl?

Well, just one question, George. Has Vito ever bowled two strikes in a row?

Willis, Vito has bowled two perfect games in a row.

Oh.

Well, I guess you have to do what's best for the team.

Oh, it was fun while it lasted. Hey, come on, Willis.

You're still part of the team. We still need you. Would you do? Sure.

In fact, down here.

Here's ten bucks. Why don't you go get us some beers?

Hey, Fido.

Hey, Fido.

Hey, Fido.

You're lost.

What?

Oh, I was. I was just warming up. Oh, yeah.

Don't get overheated.

You're ready to bowl.

I'm always ready to bowl.

Vito, can we go now?

Not yet, baby, not yet.

Oh, remember?

We can use my brother's apartment till ten.

We starting soon, boss?

Real soon, Vito. So try to keep your mind on the game, okay?

No problem, no problem. Good man.

Well,

Jefferson, I see you got back your, uh...

Hanger unbender?

That's right, Cunningham. And I promise you can visit this trophy anytime you

want to.

Well, I'm not going to have very far to travel because it's going to be in my

office. I don't even know why you even have an office. You don't do any

business.

Jefferson, I've got ten stores.

Yeah, I know. One for each customer.

I've got twice as many customers as you've got.

What are you talking about, Cunningham? I've got thousands of customers and they

all come back.

Sure, they're waiting for you to get it right.

Face it, Jefferson, I'm a better dry cleaner than you'll ever be. I can smell

dirt a mile away.

Oh, so that's how you find your way home, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Jefferson,

there's only one way we're going to settle this thing. That's right,

Let's go!

Oh, great.

Too bad? What do you mean, too bad?

Look at the score.

Big deal. You're leading by seven lousy pins.

Look, Vito's got a turn coming up, you know. He can knock down eight pins just

by looking at them.

Oh, yeah, well, but right now, I'd say your boy Vito's got his mind on

else besides bowling.

Hey, Vito, it's your turn, man.

Oh, okay, boss. Just let me have one more kiss. For good luck.

At least the hell I'm a rabbit's foot.

It's your turn to bowl, man. Forget the chick.

Wait a minute. How can I forget, uh... Sharon.

Sharon? I knew when I met her last night at the Wide World of Mud Wrestling, she

was the girl for me.

Last night, I thought you told me you were with your sick mother last night.

Well, I did have a cold.

Vito, you mean to tell me you were with her last night when you were supposed to

be bowling? How could you do something like that?

Boys, come here.

Look at her.

And you should see her when she's all covered in mud.

Damn it, Peter. We could have lost last time, man. Where's your team spirit?

Team spirit?

You don't pay me for team spirit. You pay me to bowl.

Look, I pay you to win me that trophy.

And that's all you should be thinking about. Nothing else.

I don't care about trophies, man. I got a whole house full of trophies. And team

spirit didn't win me none of them trophies. My right arm did. Look, when I

you to bowl, you bowl. You don't go to mud wrestling. This is a team.

You want a team player?

Let your friend the beer boy bowl.

Otherwise, Jefferson, get out of my face.

What'd you say?

You heard me.

Hey, Willis.

Want more beers, George?

No, grab your ball. You're balling in Vito's place.

Really? Oh, great.

I'm ready, George. Here.

Hey, what are you doing?

Let me spell it out for you, Vito. You're fired. F -I -R -E -D.

From now on, you can unbend hangers for somebody else.

Wait, you gotta be kidding. Turn in your shirt. You don't deserve to wear my

name on your back.

Okay, your law.

Jefferson, you know what's going to happen to this team without me? Yeah,

.I .Q.'s going to jump 80 points.

George, you won't regret this. I'm going to give it my best shot.

Go ahead, Willis. You can do it.

Hey.

Okay, you won this year, but I swear I'll get you next year.

Hey, Jefferson, Jefferson, how about a little side bet?

On the next roll, I say he gets one.

Don't worry, fellas, really. I've got another ball coming.

George, listen to me. I just wasn't properly warmed up. I can do it. Look,

ahead and bowl. We'll meet you in the parking lot.

by fluff and dry.

Let me tell you something, Cunningham.

He may fluff and he may dry, but one thing he don't do and that's fold.

Okay, everybody, beers on me.

Hey, Bullets, look.

I'm sorry about what happened, okay?

I put you on the team I should have kept you there. Oh, forget it, George. No,

no, no. I mean, you came through.

I mean, I got to hand it to you. I mean, you could have choked, but you didn't.

You put that ball right in the old pocket. I never saw a better role in my

What's the secret?

It slipped.