Original subtitles

We're moving on up. We're moving on up.

I'm going to choir practice.

All right, Florence, have a nice time.

Oh, I'm sure I will.

Today's the day I get to rehearse my solo.

You know, it sure is nice to have the Lord all to yourself.

You know, I always wanted to sing in a choir, but I was afraid I wouldn't be

good enough.

Oh, no. As a matter of fact, there was an opening just last week. Would have

been perfect for your voice range.

Really? Mm -hmm. Old Man Murphy died.

His name's Robo Rollover.

I was asking Rover.

George!

George, put those on the sofa.

Lionel and Jenny will be over with the baby soon.

Great. I'm glad the Willis's are out of town. They won't be pestering little

Jessica to death like they always do, acting silly, making dumb faces, playing

stupid games. I know.

Now we'll get to do all that.

Hey, look what I bought Jessica.

A Florence doll.

A Florence doll?

Yeah. You wind it up.

It doesn't work.

You should have bought a George Jefferson doll. You wind it up and you

return it.

You come to spend your day with Grandpa?

You want to borrow my earmuffs?

You'll need them, child.

I'll see you. Have a nice time. Okay.

Oh, my, don't you two look nice.

You're going to be the handsomest couple at the wedding.

Who's getting married anyway? Oh, Ed and Judy, a couple of friends of mine from

college. Yeah, they finally decided to tie that noose.

Did they have a long courtship?

Uh, you might say that. They've been living together for six years.

Living together? Why'd they bother to get married?

Because the baby's due tomorrow.

Mom, you got anything to snack on?

Oh, well, there's some fruit in the refrigerator.

But won't there be some food at the reception?

Oh, there isn't one. They're leaving right after the ceremony.

Oh, for the honeymoon?

For the hospital.

Hey, what's this?

across the street is having some kind of baby contest. They were handing those

out to anybody with a baby.

Oh, hey, listen to this.

The diaper service is having a pin -up calendar for baby curls.

Oh, diapers clean and white.

We've got them. All we need is your baby's bottom.

Oh, that'll be perfect for Jessica.

Yeah, because her bottom's top.

Oh, George, let's enter Jessica in this contest.

Great idea, Weasley, but with Jessica entered, there won't be no contest.

Thanks for the food, Ma.

Hey, we better get going. We don't want to be late.

Oh, good.

We'll go down in the elevator with you.

Oh, where are you going?

Oh, we're going to take Jessica across the street and get her on that calendar.

Oh, no, I don't think so, Mrs. Jefferson. Not Jessica.

Why not? She's so cute.

Well, see, we discussed this on the way up, and we don't want Jessica on that

calendar. Yeah, we don't want her embarrassed later in life by posing

Don't be silly.

Naked ain't embarrassed until you got something worth hiding.

Look, how about if she was just Miss February and then she'll only be naked

28 days?

Mom, forget it.

Jefferson, when Jessica gets older, if she wants to be in Playboy or something,

that would be different. It would be her decision.

Right. We'd wring her neck, but it'd be her decision.

I'd love to have on a calendar to show my friends.

You know Catherine Mannings? Yeah. Well, her granddaughter was in an ad for baby

booties, and she never lets me forget it. All I hear is, look at those pretty

little feet.

See those lovely feet. Oh, what a lovely set of feet.

Yeah, and you know something?

Her kid's feet couldn't hold a candle to Jessica's behind.

Forget it, Pop, huh?

Forget it! Look, I say we take Jessica over there and get her on that calendar.

You know, Jen, I think we ought to take the baby with us. You can't take a baby

to a wedding.

Why not? The bride's bringing her.

You can leave her here.

Okay, but Pop, promise you won't do anything to get Jessica involved with

calendar. I don't... George.

Okay, I promise, I promise.

Boy, you sure are bullheaded and stubborn, Lionel.

I'd like to know where you got that from.

Lionel, come on, let's go.

I don't want to miss Judy waddling down the aisle.

See you later. Hop on.

It ought to be a law.

You shouldn't have to have kids to have grandkids.

One day it'll be changed.

She'll really look great on the calendar.

Yeah, she's a natural, all right.

Can't you just see it now, Weez? The myth of July.

The bathing beauty on a beach blanket.

Wait a minute. Where are you going?

I'm going to take Jessica and see about this calendar.

Well, Weez, I promised not to do that.

I know, but I didn't.

All right, these days, starting to think like me.

Please,

George, don't try to talk me out of this.

Pardon me.

You're next.

Man, can you believe the nerve of some of these women? They all came here

thinking they got the most beautiful baby in the world.

But we are here too, George. Yeah, well, that's different. We do have the most

beautiful baby in the world.

Yes. We'd like to get our granddaughter on your calendar.

Name?

Jessica Jefferson.

She's the cutest baby girl you ever laid eyes on.

Well, just have a seat until her name is called. Yeah, okay.

Oh, make sure she gets a month with 31 days. Save the short months for the ugly

baby.

Excuse me.

Is that seat taken? Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, isn't she adorable?

Oh, thank you.

Hey, we should quit collaborating with the enemy.

I'm Linda Wong.

I'm Louise Jefferson.

And this is my husband, George.

You have a very pretty baby.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, yours ain't bad.

Oh, you got a Chinese one, huh?

I think I'm going to go check on the competition, okay?

Yes, please go.

Oh, hey.

It's a cute kid you got there. Gorgeous.

A baby with some substance.

George, can I talk to you for a minute?

What's the matter with you?

Louise, it's a bad crop.

George, all babies are beautiful.

Oh, yeah, you should have seen that last baby.

I've never seen a mouth so big on something you couldn't ride.

Excuse me. May I have your attention, please?

I'm sorry, but we have all the babies we need for this year's calendar, but

thank you all very much for coming.

What?

I'm sorry, but all 12 months have been taken.

Well, then add another one.

I'm sorry, I... Oh, come on now. I saw some of those babies you had to choose

from. What do you want to do, depress people for a whole year?

Don't you think it's only fair to look at all the babies before you make a

decision? Ma 'am, please, it's out of my hands. All right, all right, look, hold

it, hold it.

Look, you look like a pretty reasonable woman. Uh -huh. Okay, I'll give you free

dry cleaning for one year if you give my granddaughter a spot on your calendar.

Tell you what, why don't I just give you directions to the door?

What? You do know what a door looks like, don't you?

Yeah, it looks just like you.

I need more personality.

Come on, George.

Forget it. I don't believe it. Jessica's so cute.

I know. She's the cutest baby in the city. I know. I know.

She's adorable.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know. I still can't believe it. I know.

I know. I mean, those other babies can't be cuter than Jessica.

I know. I know.

I mean, she's so cuddly.

She's so feminine.

Yeah. She's so perfect.

And she's so... Hey,

you're not Jessica. What did you do with Jessica?

George, she can't understand you.

Oh, yeah, we... What'd you do with Jessica?

Come on, we gotta do something.

to find Jessica.

Uh -oh, wait a minute.

Mrs. Wong at the advertising agency, she had a carriage just like ours. She must

have Jessica. You mean you took the Wong baby?

No, you took the Wong baby.

The Wong baby.

I mean, oh, I don't know what I mean.

Oh, Jesus.

Why don't you call the ad agency? Maybe Mrs. Wong is still there.

Oh, we've got to get Jessica back before the kids get here.

And if we don't, they'll never let us take care of that baby again.

Oh, hello?

Look, my name is Louise Jefferson, and I... What'd they say?

They put me on hold. I'm listening to music.

What? Nobody puts Joyce Jefferson on hold. Give me that phone.

Hello, I want to speak to somebody now.

All right.

Uh, what's happening?

Well, at least they're playing Sammy Davidson and Candyman.

Oh, this is all my fault. I should have known better. No, it's just my fault.

No, it's my fault. It's my fault.

No, it's all my fault.

Okay, you win. It's your fault. No, it's... Shh.

Wait, somebody's coming on.

Hello?

Damn. What?

Now they're playing a song by Donny Osmond.

Get the carriage. We're going down to the agency and see if we can find that

lady who took Jessica.

Judge, remember, you took the wrong carriage.

This is no time to point the finger.

Blame. Let's go. Come on.

I

think they

know we're home.

They just saw us, George. What are we going to do?

Wait, um, I got it.

You take the baby to the bedroom.

Wait till the coast is clear.

You sneak through the living room, then you go up close to the street, you find

Jessica, and you bring her back here.

And what are you going to do?

I just wish you a lot of luck.

My, oh, Jenny, what a surprise. Who went in?

Ah, Bobby almost took a hint off my nose.

Hey, how you doing back so early?

Well, the wedding was cut short. See, halfway down the aisle, the bride went

into labor.

Yeah, they finished the ceremony in the ambulance.

Well, at least you got a chance to look at the church. Tell me about it.

Oh, no, look, Pop, we're kind of tired. We just want to pick up the baby and go

home. No, you can't go.

You know I love churches. If I was going to be a builder, I'd pick a church.

Okay.

Sit down and tell me about this church.

Well, see, it had this cross.

Pop, it had an altar.

No. Yeah.

And some pews.

Pews?

And hold on to your hat, Pop. It even had a minister.

What a coincidence, man. I got married in a church just like that. Don't you

remember, Lionel? I wasn't there.

Really? Oh, boy, you don't know what you missed.

Hey, let me tell you about this church now.

It was, they had a... Mrs. Jefferson.

Jessica likes to take a tour of the apartment every so often.

See, baby?

There's the sofa, the coffee table, Grandpa George, Daddy,

Mommy, the wall, the patio. Hey, Wheezy, why don't you take her outside? She

hasn't seen the hallway yet.

And give her a real treat, shorty elevator.

We really have to be going. Hey, wait a minute.

Did you two tell us about the church yet?

Hi.

Oh, nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong.

Oh, but, you know, maybe she needs to be changed.

Oh, she's changed. Believe me.

Isn't it funny, but Jessica sounds different to me.

That's because her voice is changing.

She's less than a year old.

Jessica's an early starter.

She's a Jefferson, remember?

Hey, you know something? I was just thinking.

We don't see enough of each other.

Why don't we go down to Charlie's Bar for a drink? A drink?

Yes! And in the meantime, we can go take the baby out for a walk.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Babies love to walk.

A little fresh air and Jessica will come back as a whole new person.

What? I'm wrong.

No.

Wheezy, will you get that?

What? We're right here? No, no, that's woman's work. Let's go to the kitchen.

What? I heard about the drink. Oh, on an empty stomach? You've got to be

kidding. You've got to eat something first.

Well, Wheezy, I'm going to finish telling you about the church. Hey,

there seems to be somebody at the door. Why don't you answer? Maybe we can get

things organized, you know, straightened out.

Oh, I'm sorry. We didn't hear the bell the first time. Oh, I see.

Well, I'm sure I'm glad you're home, Mrs. Jefferson. Do you have my baby? Oh,

yes, I do.

And I'm so sorry about the mix -up of Jessica.

Come on, darling.

Oh, thanks for bringing the baby back.

And it's a shame you don't have time to stay to chat. But I do.

You know, Mrs. Jefferson, it's a good thing you left your purse inside the

carriage. Otherwise, I never would have known where to find you. I guess it was

our lucky day.

No, I wouldn't say lucky. Mrs. Wong, why don't you just call me tomorrow and

tell me all the things you don't have time to tell me today?

Life sure can be crazy.

I never thought anything like this could ever happen to me.

Oh, I am. How are you, Mrs. Wong?

You see, my husband does that, not me.

Hey, Pop.

We really got to get going.

Come on, man. What is going on around here? What's going on? Yeah, Wheezy,

what's going on?

Oh, nothing's going on.

Everything's fine.

Nothing's going on. Everything's fine.

Take a look at your baby. You haven't seen her in a long time.

Who was that lady?

Lady?

That was Mrs. Wong.

And she was here to, uh, to... To do some research.

You see, her husband's opening a dry cleaner. And she wants to speak to

Ah, but wouldn't she want to speak to you? No, she's the wife of a dry

So she wants to speak to the wife of a dry cleaner.

Of course, the hardest thing in the world is being married to a dry cleaner.

Amen to that.

When Virginia and I kind of talk, are we allowed to leave now?

Hey, hey, hey, free country.

How's my cute little Jessica, huh?

You know, I can see why you thought she'd be a beautiful calendar girl.

But I'm so glad you understood the way Lionel and I felt about it.

Thanks for being such special grandparents.

Oh, well, don't mention it.

Now, we know that you really wanted Jessica on that calendar. But you

us enough not to take her over there.

Yeah, but I gotta admit, Pop, for a minute there, I was afraid you might go

behind our backs and take Jessica over there anyway.

Boy, that hurts.

Now, you know we'd never do anything like that.

Right, Weems?

Uh, don't mention it.

Well, I just wanted to say thanks.

What's so funny? Oh, I can't believe you two.

the Chinese lady on the elevator.

And she had the cutest little baby. Yeah, yeah, great story. Good night.

Oh,

she told me how she ran into both of you over at the agency. You know, for the

baby contest?

No, no.

Good night, Florence.

No, no, no. Wait a minute, Florence. What are you saying?

Oh, didn't I tell you?

Ciao. they went to the baby contest.

They brought home the wrong baby.

I wish I could have seen your face.

I'd like to see yours when you look at your next paycheck.

I'll go down to Charlie's for that drink now. I'll join you.

Oh, dear.

Don't you two have something to say?

Uh... Well, at least they both have the same story.

But, Pop, how could you do that?

She made me do it.

Mom, you in on this, too?

Uh, well, it's just that first day was Miss July.

And then, you know, bare bottom.

And then, George, you know, bad clock.

That's pretty much what happened.

That's right.

Look, Pop, you promised you wouldn't take Jessica over, and I thought we

trust you with her. Come on, Lionel, I'm sorry.

Oh, man.

Okay, I ain't sorry.

What? Look, Jessica's my granddaughter, and I'm proud of her, and I want the

whole world to know it. Oh, no, we understand.

Damn that.

But we asked you not to take Jessica over there.

All right. We are sorry for going against your wishes.

But we are not sorry for being proud grandparents.

Mom, look, that's right. Look, Lionel, don't you remember when you were a kid

and you wanted a hobby horse?

And I said no because I was afraid you'd get hurt.

And then your grandmother went out and bought you one anyway.

Then when I saw your eyes light up, boy, I couldn't be mad at her anymore.

Because she was your grandmother and she loved you until the day she died.

Now I know how she felt.

That's right.

George and I feel the same way about Jessica.

Well, you know, Lionel, there was really no harm done.

Yeah, I guess not.

Yeah, let's just forget the whole thing. Come on, let's go home, Jenny. I am

starving. Hey, why don't you two go out to eat on me?

Well, who's going to watch Jessica?

We'd love to.

Oh,

and we would love for you to.

She'd be with the two best babysitters in the whole wide world.

We'll see you in a couple hours.

Okay. Yes, you know.

You know, I can just see you riding that hobby horse.

Yeah.

Pop, I never had a hobby horse.