Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

All right, Mr. Jefferson, just back it right on in.

Now, bring it on home, sir.

By golly, sir, we did it.

Thanks for your help, Ralph.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, my, how rude of me. I almost forgot to thank you.

for your very generous Christmas bonus, sir. You shouldn't have. I didn't. I

know.

But I'm sure you will.

Well, Ralph, it's Christmas. Believe what you want.

Oh,

George.

It's a beautiful tree.

Oh, Weed, you never guessed what I had to go through to get that tree.

There were a dozen people fighting over it. Then this old lady got a pocketbook

for that.

Oh, that's terrible.

No, that was the good part.

Everybody ran over to help her, and then I grabbed the tree.

That's the Christmas spirit, George.

What's that?

Florence is going caroling with her church choir.

She's just warming up her voice.

Oh, I thought a taxi backed over a cat.

Jack Frost, nipping at your nose.

Though it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you.

Come on, you have a really well -trained voice.

Well, thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

Now train it to play dead.

Ah, I've got the Christmas spirit, Mr. Jefferson, and I ain't gonna let you

spoil my mood, you little dickens.

I ain't gonna get no peace and quiet around here tonight, Emma.

George, would you like to come to the health center with me tonight?

We are having a Christmas party for kids from the foster care facility.

What's the foster care facility?

Oh, that's what they call an orphanage these days.

Tom Willis is playing Santa Claus.

Oh, yeah? Well, if they want him to come down the chimney, they better grease

him up.

Miss Jefferson, you should go with Miss Jefferson tonight.

This is the time of year you're supposed to do nice things for people.

Why don't you mind your business, Blonde? I do plenty of nice things for

Good, then get the dough for me.

What do you want?

Fine, thank you.

And a big hello to you too, George.

Oh, come on in, Helen. I'll be ready in a minute.

Oh, Louise, I've got some bad news.

On the way home from work today, Tom slipped on the ice and sprained his

Oh, poor Tom.

No, poor me. I've got to listen to his whining.

You know, he's only been home ten minutes, and already he's given me his

through next Thursday.

But what about tonight?

Tonight he wants pot roast.

No, I mean, what about the Christmas party?

Oh, well, Tom can't walk. I'm sorry, Louise, but we won't be able to go to

help center.

But what am I going to do?

The kids are going to be there in a half an hour, and I don't have a Santa.

Okay, okay, don't panic. We'll find a replacement.

Must be somebody who can play Santa.

A chance.

George, sweetheart, darling.

Look, I ain't playing no Santa Claus.

George, neighbor, friend.

Uh -uh, nope. No way, Jose.

George, please.

Look, I said I ain't gonna be no Santa Claus, and that's it.

You have to drag me up there and shove me into that Santa Claus uniform.

I'll drag you shove.

Hi,

Mrs. Thompson.

We are all set. Oh, Mrs. Jefferson, I can't thank the Help Center enough for

having this party for the children. Oh, it's our pleasure.

Listen, Aunt is outside waiting, so why don't you prepare the kids? Fine.

All right, attention, everybody.

I have just heard on the radio...

That a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer was seen in the sky heading

way. Now, who do you think it is? Santa Claus!

Come over here, come.

That's home, George.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas.

Ho, ho.

Ho.

Uh -oh.

Hey, man, you ate Santa Claus.

I told you it wouldn't work, Weasley.

Bye. Uh, just a minute, Santa.

Uh, young man, what makes you think this isn't Santa Claus?

Because Santa Claus ain't black, he's white.

What makes you think that Santa Claus is a hockey?

Then maybe you ain't been looking in the right places.

Macy's Parade Center is white.

Well, that's because the guy who owns Macy's is white.

He's white on all the TV commercials.

Well, that's because the men who make deodorant are white, too.

Look, it doesn't matter what color Santa Claus is.

Right. Because there ain't no such thing as Santa Claus.

Here's some jerk in a red suit, comes here, tries to pass himself off as Santa

Claus.

We tell him what we want, he writes it down, and we end up getting stuff that

other people donate.

We never get what we really want, right?

Hey, wait a second. Were those other guys white guys?

Yeah. Well, there you go.

You want action, you gotta come to the store.

Now, you tell me what you want. You got it signed, sealed, and delivered because

I am Santa Claus. Yay!

Come on. You guys going to be suckers all your life?

This guy can promise whatever he wants because we ain't never going to see him

again. What do you mean?

Well, Christmas Eve. Yeah, sure, we get a few toys, but we never get to see

Santa Claus.

Oh, yeah?

Well, this Santa Claus don't run out on nobody.

Not only would I give you what you want, but I will be here Christmas Eve to

deliver it personally.

Yay!

Oh, kids, I'd like for you to meet Mrs. Claus.

Man is a lucky man, huh?

Yeah.

Okay, now, make a list and find out what they want, Mrs. Claus.

Okay, now, who's first?

Me!

Okay,

you got that, Mrs. Claus? One battery -operated...

Robot. Right.

Okay, this is for you. Merry Christmas.

Thanks, Santa.

You are right.

Hey, hey, hey.

He won't be getting the bus now. But wasn't Santa wonderful?

Yeah!

Thank you, thank you.

Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

You can cut the hose now, George.

See you Christmas Eve.

Bye, Santa.

Bye. Okay.

George, I'm going to walk Mrs. Thompson to the bus. I'll be right back. Oh,

yeah, wait. Ask Mrs. Thompson what she wants for Christmas.

Right, George. And while you're at it, ask the bus driver what he wants.

Oh, he already told me, George.

But I told him I was married.

Here, Santa.

Hey, kid, come here.

What's your name?

Billy. Billy. Hey, Billy.

You never told me what you wanted for Christmas.

Why should I?

Well, because I want to get it for you.

Oh, come on. It must be something you really want.

Yeah, there's something I really want. But you can't get it for me. Look, I

I could get it. I mean, what you want?

Anything I want?

Anything you want.

You promise?

I promise.

Okay, Santa.

Get me parent.

Mrs.

Jefferson, the kids will be talking about this party for days. Oh, we loved

But you know, I'll bet George had just as much fun as the kids. Mr. Jefferson,

just had to come back and tell you, you were a superb Santa.

Oh, yeah, I was proud of you, George.

George, what's wrong?

I think I promised Billy I'd get him parents for Christmas.

You what?

Mr. Jefferson, how could you do that?

I couldn't help it.

I told him I'd get him anything he wanted.

I figured he'd ask for something easy like a Mr. Potato Head.

Well, okay, I better go tell him right now it was a mistake. You can't do that.

I'm a man of my word.

Now, I promised that kid I'd get him parents for Christmas, and that's what

going to do.

Take care of it, okay?

Mr. Jefferson, it is not that easy.

You see, the children at our facility are what we call hard to place.

What do you mean hard to place? Billy's a great kid. He's cute, he's smart. And

he's ten years old.

So what? Most people don't want to adopt older children. They want little

babies. Ain't that dumb?

Why would you want to adopt a baby that's going to spit up all in your lap?

When you could have a kid who's almost old enough to support you.

I just love it when you speak from the heart.

Look, ain't there some way you can get Billy adopted by Christmas?

Well, anything's possible, but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Tell you what.

Let me get to work on it, and I'll see what I can do.

Yeah, I'll see what I can do. We'll both be looking.

George, looking for parents for Billy isn't going to be easy.

What do you mean? They gave us five days.

Hell, I mean, you became parents in five minutes.

Hello, Florence.

Hi, Miss Jefferson.

I'll never go shopping on Christmas Eve again.

Florence, what are you smiling at? I've got good news.

Miss Thompson called while you were out, and she's found a couple to adopt

Billy. Oh, that's wonderful.

I can't wait until George hears this.

He's going crazy looking for someone to adopt Billy.

Hey, lady, how are you?

Hey, how'd you like to have a kid?

Who are you?

Oh, Merry Christmas, Mr. James. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, I gotta talk to you.

I'd love to stop and chat, but I'm late for a soiree at the U .N. Yeah, well,

look, you tell that soiree that when he's in our country, he can wait.

Look, Betty, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

You live in that big old apartment all by yourself. Don't you ever get lonesome

for the pitter -patter of little feet?

Oh, Mr.

J, you know you can come over and visit any time you want.

No, that's not what I mean.

I mean, don't you wish you had somebody that you could tuck in and read to at

night? You know, I tried that once with Elaine, but all she said was, hey,

Harry, what's with the book?

No, Bentley, I'm talking about a kid.

How'd you like to adopt a little boy?

Me? Adopt?

Oh, Mr. J, I couldn't. You see, I live a bachelor's life.

I keep very irregular hours. I'm hardly ever home.

I'm extremely self -indulgent, often lonely and depressed.

And frankly, I just wouldn't want to give all that up.

Merry Christmas.

Hi, Wizzy Sloan.

Let me tell him. Okay, go ahead.

George, I have fantastic news.

Miss Thompson called and she found a couple to adopt buildings.

I wanted to tell him... I'm sorry. Go ahead.

And Mrs. Thompson said... She's going to call just as soon as it's official.

Hey, that's great. You know what that means?

That means I can keep my promise to Billy and the rest of the kids will

that I'm Santa Claus.

Hey, I'm going to put on my Santa suit.

Reezy, you're terrific.

Lawrence, you're beautiful.

Well, I guess miracles really do happen on Christmas Eve.

Yeah. Mr. Jefferson called me beautiful.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Thompson.

How are you?

Uh, what?

They did?

I see.

Oh, well, thank you for calling.

Uh, yes, we'll see you at 7 .30.

Goodbye.

You didn't do that, huh?

Is it official that Billy adopted?

Uh, I'm sorry, George. It fell through.

What?

Well, the couple met Billy, and they liked him, but they felt he was too old.

Too old?

Too old? Damn.

Well, George, you did everything you could.

No, it's not everything. We could adopt him.

What? Yeah, well, look, I know there was a problem with him being white, but, I

mean, if he learns our language, nobody will know the difference.

George, you don't adopt a child just to keep a promise.

You adopt because you want to be a parent.

And I think we are a little too old to be parents again.

Yeah, you're right, Weasley.

You are getting up there.

I just feel bad about poor Billy, that's all.

Look, I bought him a radio -controlled race car. He'll like that.

That ain't what he wanted.

I know.

Oh, come on, George.

Put on your Santa suit, and we'll head down to the health center. You'll feel

better when you see how happy the other children are with their toy.

I'm not going with you.

Why not?

Because I can't face Billy.

But you promised all the children you'd come back on Christmas Eve.

Yeah, I know. You go and make an excuse for me. Tell them I had to change the

bulb in Rudolph's nose.

George, you gotta talk to Billy and tell him you tried, but you just couldn't

find him parents.

Look, Wheezy, I can't tell him that.

Especially if he never sees me again.

George. Look, I ain't going, Wheezy, and that's it.

Florence.

I'll be back about 9 .30.

We can wrap Lionel and Jenny's presents then.

George, I'm disappointed in you.

Mr. Jefferson.

Look, Foz, nobody's interested in what you got to say.

Well, you're going to hear it anyway.

Now, you owe Billy an explanation.

But instead of going down there and facing him yourself, you're sending your

wife down there to do your dirty work.

You finished?

No.

Now, we've had our differences in the past, and I know I've called you plenty

names.

Shorty.

Big Mouth.

Airhead.

You never called me that. Well, I wanted to.

But there's one name I never thought I'd call you, Mr. Jefferson, and that's

Coward.

They're having such a good time.

This is Jefferson's. This is the best Christmas these children have ever had.

Yeah, except Billy.

I wish I knew what to say to him. I know he's upset now, but I'll give him a

while, then I'll talk to him.

Mrs. Claus, thanks for this robot.

It's exactly what I asked for.

Oh, you're very welcome, Mark.

Santa's great. He got it.

us what we wanted. No, he didn't.

What did you ask for?

Never mind.

It's not important.

You can play with my robot if you want to. I don't want to play with no dumb

robot. That's for kids.

Those believing in Santa Claus.

Uh -uh. Santa Claus is for real.

If he's for real, how come he ain't here right now like he promised?

Because why isn't he here?

Oh, well, that's very simple.

You see, Santa isn't here because he's busy changing the bulb in

Rudolph's nose.

Oh, that guy was really Santa Claus. He'd be here right now.

Look, Billy, let me explain.

Now, you see, the reason... Ho, ho, ho!

George!

present. Yeah!

Santa,

I think you made a mistake.

You didn't get Billy what he wanted.

Yeah, I know.

Isn't there something you can get Billy so he'd be happy?

You really like Billy, don't you?

Sure, except when we play checkers. He won't let me win unless I give him gum.

Let's have some hot cocoa.

George, I'm so glad you decided to come.

How's Billy?

Not too good.

Well, I guess I'll go face him.

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, keep Willis healthy. I ain't doing this next year.

Hey, Billy.

Hi, Santa.

Look, um... I couldn't get any parents for you.

Somehow that doesn't surprise me.

Yeah, but I did my best. I tried.

Yeah, you tried.

Miss Thompson tried.

Everybody tried.

But you all stuck out, didn't you?

But look, the ball game's not over yet. I mean, you still might get adopted by

tomorrow. Sure. The day after that, they'll put my face on Mount Rushmore.

Why don't you just take your phony suit and your phony nose?

Phony nose?

My real nose.

I wouldn't brag about it.

Look, I'm not going to get adopted.

I'm too old, and I'm not getting any younger.

Face it, man, I have no family for Billy.

Hey, Billy, my robot don't work.

sure don't make toys like they did in the good old days.

Mark, you probably got the batteries in wrong. Just read the directions.

There's too many big words.

Mark, I'm busy.

Hey, you know, it looks like you already got a family, Billy.

What are you talking about?

I mean, all of these kids, they look up to you.

They could be your family.

What?

They're just orphans like me.

We ain't no family.

What do you mean, all a family? It's just a bunch of people living together

care about each other.

Now, you care about all these kids, don't you?

Well, yeah, but... Yeah, but they care about you too, right?

Well, I guess so.

Well, so there you go, instant family.

Come on.

None of us got parents, and parents is what makes a family.

Not all the time. Look, I know a lot of kids who have parents who don't come as

close to having a good a family as you got right here.

Okay, look.

Maybe you'll never get adopted, okay?

But that's no reason why you should turn your back on the family you've got

here.

Hey!

Hi.

I just broke my doll, Santa. Can you fix it?

Here, Lisa.

I'll fix it.

But first I've got to fix Mark's robot, okay?

Okay.

It was nice talking to you.

I've got a family to take care of.

Merry Christmas, Billy.

Thanks. Same to you.

George, did you get everything straightened out?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, George, you are a wonderful Santa.

Now it's your turn.

What does Santa want for Christmas?

Nobody got it. Mrs. Claus.