Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up. Too deep down. We're moving on

Too deep.

The bomb races down the court.

Oh!

Helen Magic Willis tries to steal the ball, but the bomb humiliates her with a

fake. He spins around, he sees an opening, and shoots!

Two points! The crowd leaps to its feet.

So do the paramedics.

Jane Willis, you think you had stuff, throw me the ball.

And the ball comes to George in Street, Jefferson.

You know, George, you'd be a star if they allowed sofas on the court.

Oh, George, I really want to thank you for inviting me to the basketball game.

Hey, what are friends for?

Besides, I'm taking along a new client, and you and him have a lot in common.

Oh, really? What?

You're both white.

Is something wrong?

Oh, no, it's Florence.

I thought it was the bride of Frankenstein.

At least I ain't the terror of tiny time.

Oh, get that weed.

Me? My nails are wet.

Weezy, make a note. Tomorrow we hire a new maid.

Thanks. I could use some help around here.

Oh, hi, everybody.

Hi.

Hi. Hey, Ma.

What are we girls going to do tonight? Oh, well, I feel like doing something

exciting.

I don't feel much like sitting around either. I wish we could go someplace.

Oh, but there's one little thing standing in our way.

Oh, no, there ain't. Mr. Jefferson's just leaving.

No, Florence, I mean we have to look after Jessica.

Oh, well, Ginny, I'm not going to leave the apartment tonight.

Oh, the people of New York thank you.

So if you and your mom and Mr. Jefferson want to go out, I'll watch the baby.

Oh, thank you, Florence.

Oh, I have a great idea.

We can all go to the game together.

That's a terrible idea.

Going to basketball games is man stuff. Why don't y 'all just stay here and do

some women stuff?

Women stuff, George?

You mean like baking some cookies?

Yeah. And if you make some chocolate chip, hold back the nuts.

Or maybe we could knit some baby booties. Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh, hey, listen. I know what we can do. Let's go to Bumpers.

Hey, good idea. You go to Bumpers. We'll see you later.

What's bumpers? Oh, it's a club where they have male strippers.

Oh.

Have a good time.

Male strippers!

You gotta be kidding.

Oh, I'm not kidding, Mr. Jefferson. Some friends of mine, they went last night.

And they loved it.

Lord have mercy.

I don't believe this. Male strippers? Why would your friends want to go into a

place like that?

Because they got tired of peeking in the window.

Now, what is wrong with women watching men strip?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It ain't natural.

George, you think it's natural for men to watch women strip?

Of course it is.

Women are supposed to strip, and men are supposed to drink beer and watch.

Oh, really?

How would you know?

Well, when I was in the Navy, a bunch of guys went and they made me go along.

They made you wheezy. War is hell.

I would like to go to bumpers. Who knows? It could be a lot of fun.

Fun? Watching men get undressed ain't no fun. It's disgusting.

Being married to Willis, you should know that better than anybody.

Oh, now, come on. Mr. Jefferson, we're just curious.

Yeah, Pop, it's okay. See, women just go there and have a good time, that's all.

A good time, huh? Okay, how would you like it if Jessica went to a place like

that?

Oh, wow, I guess I'd be pretty upset.

Next time Jessica asks to borrow the car keys, you better find out where she's

going.

Wait, what did you say, buddy?

George, you're making a big deal over nothing.

It is a big deal. Look, if God wanted men to be strippers, he wouldn't have

hair on their legs.

What? Look, Facebook, he's just wrong.

Yes, it's wrong, wrong, wrong.

Lawrence, why are you so upset?

Because for the first time in my life, I'm agreeing with him.

Look, nobody in their right mind wants to sit around and watch guys running

around in their shorts.

Right, come on, let's go to a basketball game. Yeah.

And I say we all go to bumpers tonight. Are you with us, Louise?

No, she isn't.

I believe Helen asked me, not you. Well, I'm just saving you the trouble of

answering.

Louise. Louise is perfectly capable of speaking for herself.

Louise.

Look, Louise, I forbid you to go to that strip joint. Understand?

Well... Good. Case closed.

Look, Louise, I know George is your husband and you love him.

But it infuriates me when a man won't let his wife speak her own mind.

Well, I... That's right, Mrs. Jefferson.

He didn't even let you get a word in.

Well, I... It's disgraceful.

ages, is it?

That's right, Ma.

I mean, it's only common courtesy to let someone speak when they want to.

Can I say something? Sure, Louise. Speak out.

Well, I don't really want to go to bumpers.

No wonder George doesn't let you talk.

I just don't want to see men strip.

Well, good for you, Miss Jefferson.

Louise, this has nothing to do with watching men thrift.

It doesn't? No.

Look, didn't it make you mad when George forbade you to go?

Of course it did. Then show him that he can't order you around.

Go to the show.

But I won't like it there. Well, you see, that's not the point.

There's a principle involved here. Mr. Jefferson, he shouldn't be telling you

where you can and you can't go.

That's true.

He treats you like he owns you.

He did, didn't he?

Can't let him get away with that.

You're right.

How dare he forbid... So

what do you say? You coming with

us? Wild horses couldn't stop...

Glenn and Jenny are absolutely right. I can't let George order me around. And

I'm going to show him once and for all that I'm not afraid of him.

And if George gets home before I do... Yes?

Don't tell him where I went.

Oh, too bad. The place is full. Let's go home.

Oh, look, there's the table. Come on.

This is great.

We've got the best seats in the house.

Oh, well, I think that's the better table over there, in the corner, where

dark, behind that palm plant.

Oh, oh, look, Louise, it's amateur night.

Amateur night? We are paying good money. We should be seen professionals.

Let's go home.

Relax, Mr. Jefferson.

Loosen up.

Yeah, come on, Louise.

Get into the spirit of things.

Take it off!

Now, you're supposed to wait until the show starts.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Me too. Let's go home.

Can I get you ladies anything?

A glass of Chablis.

I'll have the same, please.

All right.

How about you, ma 'am?

Oh, I'll take a skin and tonic.

I'm sorry.

I meant I'll take a sin and tonic.

Make it... Oh, Bloody Mary.

Okay, okay.

Let me guess. This is your first time here, right?

Right. I'm not a regular or anything. My husband made me come here. Well, he

told me not to come here. Well, in fact, he didn't want me to come here, and

that's why I'm here.

Make that two Bloody Marys.

Yes. Did you check out?

Now,

in case you get them mixed up, Mean George is the one with the hole in his

Now, one day, Mean George came home from work, walking his walk.

And he started yelling at Sweet Florence.

Where's my dinner?

When's the last time you cleaned this place?

I only had two hands.

Well, try using them.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, isn't that a nickel over there?

Where?

First the body stops

working and the brain goes on strike.

Mr. Jefferson, what are you doing back so soon?

Well, we heard about the publisher. We wanted to catch him.

Don't you want to know where your wife is?

Where is she?

I can't tell you.

Why not?

Mr. Jefferson made me promise.

Can you tell me?

I thought you'd never ask.

They're over at that bumper place looking at naked men.

They went to bumpers?

Excuse me.

That's right, Lionel.

And remember, I told you, not Mr. Jefferson.

I told Weasley that place was off limits.

Yeah, I'd ground her if I was you.

Look, I ain't kidding. I'm going down there and dragging my wife out of there.

And if you have any sense, you do the same thing.

Okay, but only if we stop and pick up some time feathers on the way.

That's why I count me out, huh?

Some husband you are. You let your wife do whatever she wants.

Come on, Willis, it's just you and me.

No, I'm sorry, George, but it's just you.

Well, Helen has the right to go where she pleases. I trust her. This has

to do with trust. It has to do with marriage.

What? Look, Willis, your wife is down there spending the night watching good

-looking men take their clothes off.

So? So, what's going to happen when she comes home and compares those men to me?

Let's go.

a good time.

Yeah, we'll put an end to that.

Why, you were great.

Well, I was a little embarrassed, but I must admit it was a lot of fun.

Well, now that we've had our fun, can I please go home? Okay, come on, Weasley.

The orgy's over.

Tom!

Come on, we're going home.

You too, Helen. Let's go.

Tom, I'm not going anywhere.

I told you not to come to your disobey, but now you're leaving. Get this through

your head, George.

I don't take orders from you.

Mr. Jefferson,

you are causing a scene.

I want you out of here, shrimp, and take the blimp with you.

I'm staying, and so is the blimp.

Do you want to stand up and say that?

George, she has a tattoo.

You can take her. Just pretend she's between you and a hot meal.

Hold, George.

Yeah, I'm going home. Are you coming with me?

Is that in order? Damn right it is.

George. Yeah?

Stick it in a blender and grind it.

You heard the lady.

It's a good thing we're leaving.

Because you wouldn't want to see me when I get ugly.

George, at least we tried.

Try? Trying ain't good enough. I want my wife out of here.

Well, I want my wife out of here, too, but I'm not going to drag her out.

Hey,

hey, wait a minute.

What about if she drags you out?

What? Look, Willis, it's amateur night.

That means you and me can get up on the stage and strut our stuff.

Are you crazy, George?

My stuff is not struttable.

I'm not stripping. Listen, Willis.

No, no, you listen to me.

I'm a publisher.

I deliberately chose that career so I could keep my clothes on.

We don't have to strip. See, that's the beauty of my plan.

As soon as we unbutton the first button, our wives will be up there begging us

to stop and promising they'll never come back here again.

Do you really think it'll work? Trust me. Come on.

Louise, I'm proud of the way you stood up to George. You are wonderful.

Thank you.

Let's go home.

What?

Well, I didn't want to leave with George, but I'm just not comfortable

Oh, well, if you really want to go, it's okay with me.

Me too.

Anyway, I don't think anyone could top Cowboy Carl.

Ladies, your attention, please.

Have you enjoyed your beefcake so far?

Double your pleasure and double your fun. So let's give a double -barreled

of applause for a really dynamic duo, Tom Terrific and gorgeous George.

It's all we need.

get your bag. You just keep reading your palm.

Let's hurry, Helen.

Jenny can't hold that cap for long.

I thought maybe if you saw these guys taking their clothes off, you might see

someone you like better than me.

But where in the world did you get a crazy idea like that?

Oh.

Tom. Tom, you don't have anything to worry about.

There's nobody better than you.

Thank you, Helen.

Oh, and he'll believe anything.

George, what on earth possessed you to pull a crazy trick like this?

Look, I just did it to prove a point.

What point?

That I married a jackass?

Look, you said you wanted to see men strip, right? I never said that.

Then what are you doing here?

I only came because you ordered me not to. I didn't even want to come here.

Then why didn't you just say so?

I never had a chance. You wouldn't discuss it with me.

It's disgusting.

Jenny said she wanted to bring you here, and I said absolutely not.

George, there was someone missing from that conversation.

Me. I thought our marriage was a partnership.

Yeah, you're right, Weezy.

Then don't you think it's wrong for one of us to tell the other what they can or

cannot do?

Yeah, Weezy, I'm sorry.

Thank you, George.

But I don't see why you wouldn't come here anyway.

I mean, ain't nothing here gonna compare to what you got at home.

And now, let's have a warm welcome for our next performer, Gentleman Johnny.

What is it, sweetheart?

You know, George, you look a little tired.

Why don't you go on and I'll meet you later.