Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

I thought those were Mr. Jefferson's house flippers.

You know, it's hard to believe that in a couple of weeks, I'm going to be a

grandmother. Yeah, and I'm going to be a grandmate.

Um, Florence, do you think I look old enough to be a grandmother?

You want the truth or a lie?

I'll take the lie.

Miss Jefferson, you hardly look old enough to be that baby's mother.

Oh, why, thank you, Florence.

But how come you told the truth?

Hey, Weasley.

Look at all this great stuff I got for our grandson.

George, we don't even know if the baby's gonna be a boy.

Oh, yeah, that's right, Weasley. Well, even if he's a girl, I'll still love

little baby need all these things?

Well, you can use this long stick for carrying his dirty diapers.

And you can wear this face mask so you don't scare him.

You know, it's going to be great having a baby around the house.

Yeah, watch him grow up, get married, own a business, have a kid, expand the

business to a lot of stores, get rich, have a grandchild.

George, you just told us your life story.

No wonder it sounded so good.

Well,

Miss Jefferson, I just wanted to remind you that my gospel singing group is

coming over to practice.

Over my dead body? I hope they get here soon.

Well, I wish I could be here to listen, but Helen and I have a meeting at the

help center.

What, you're going to leave me here all alone with them? That's torture.

I know, but they'll just have to put up with you.

It's Lionel and Jenny.

Hey, you're right.

Well, look, we just don't leave them out in the hallway too long. I don't want

my grandson to catch a chill.

Oh, hi, everybody.

How you doing?

Yeah, I was dropping Jenny off at her parents, but we wanted to stop by and

hello. Oh, Jenny, you're looking prettier every day.

Oh, that's because there's a lot more of me to look at.

Well, don't worry, child. Pretty soon you'll be on nature's fastest diet.

Here, Jenny, let me help you sit down.

Okay.

Easy.

You know, there's one thing I hate about sitting down.

What's that?

Standing up again.

How are you feeling?

Oh, pretty good.

You know, it's hard to believe there's someone alive inside of me.

I wonder what the baby's thinking. I wonder what it's doing.

Probably looking for a light switch.

Oh, boy, she's really moving around.

She? How do you know it's a girl?

I just got a feeling.

Yeah, well, change the feeling.

George.

Oh, Candy.

Look, I'll get it for you. I want you to squeeze the baby.

George, Jenny could do it.

Look, I don't want her to strain herself.

You never say that to me.

You don't know how to strain yourself.

Oh, Judy's not straining herself, Pop. I make her run six miles a day just to

keep her in shape.

What?

Oh, he's good.

But I do get a lot of exercise in my Lamar's childbirth class.

Lamar's childbirth class? I don't even see why you've got to go to school to

learn how to have a baby.

My mother didn't have to go through none of that. And look at me.

Howdy, you better study hard.

You know, Mr. Jefferson, I have learned a lot in Lamaze.

Yeah, and it'll come in handy when we get in that delivery room. We?

You gonna be in that delivery room, too?

Where else should I be?

Where you belong, in a bar.

But don't you see, Pop, this way we both participate in the birth of our child.

I think you already did your part, Lionel.

Are there any pickles in the kitchen?

Yeah, I think so. And some potato chips and turkey and cheese and bacon? Yeah.

Great. You got a blender?

No.

Lionel, I think it's great the way you're taking such a big part in the

birth. Yeah, I'm just sorry I can't take Jenny to class tonight.

Oh, why can't you?

Because I've got this job interview, so Jenny's dad's going to take her.

You mean you're applying for a new job?

Yeah, it's a better job and more money. Well, all right.

Oh, and with the baby coming, it's the perfect time.

Weezy, whenever you make more money, it's the perfect time.

Yeah, well, I don't have a job yet. Look, Lionel, you're going to get the

I'm going to give you some tips.

Lionel, it's a tough world out there. If you want to make it, you've got to be

sharp, smart, and clever.

Or do like your father did. Right.

Bake it.

Okay, just pretend I'm the personnel manager and you come in to see me. Okay.

Okay, what's the first thing you say to him?

Hi, Pop.

Listen to me, Lionel. Look, you've got to butter these people up, okay?

Now, suppose the personnel manager is a big, gigantic, fat dude, right?

But he's got on a brand new suit. Okay, what would you say to him?

Uh... Hey, I like that material.

Bet it comes cheaper by the acre.

No, I'm serious.

No, you say to him, hey, I like your suit.

It's just like the one Paul Newman wore in his last movie. Are you related?

See what I mean?

Yeah, you want me to treat people like idiots.

Right.

Okay, now if the person I'm managing is a woman, you'd say, hello, lovely.

Hey, you look familiar.

Weren't you voted Miss Universe in 1977?

Oh, no? Well, you should have been fine as you is.

I bet you all the guys would like to, uh...

work for you.

Well, look, thanks for all the advice, Pop, but I got to get going. The guy I'm

supposed to see is going back to Boston tonight.

Boston?

Yeah, I didn't know how to tell you this, but that's where the job is.

Boston? Lionel, what do you want to go to Boston for? Ain't nothing up there.

All they got is the Liberty Bell and a bunch of beans.

The Liberty Bell's not in Boston. See, they ain't even got that.

Pop, it's a good job.

Okay, yeah, yeah, look, Lionel, about the advice I gave you before, forget it.

If the guy interviewing you is fat, just say, hi, fatso, I hope my office ain't

under yours.

Oh, George, stop it. Oh, he's your son. I ain't got nothing to do with him.

Lionel, you're not really going to move away, are you? Hey, don't worry about

it. I probably won't get the job anyway.

Wasn't that good, Florence?

Yeah, I kind of liked it.

Especially the pickle.

I wonder if I could be.

No, impossible.

Look, I got to get going or I'll be late.

Bye, babe. Bye, honey.

Mom, Dad, wish me luck.

Good luck.

the matter with you two.

Lionel told us about the Boston job.

You don't want to move up there, do you?

Well, it's a better job and it's a good opportunity for Lionel.

Who asked you?

Oh, I'll get it. It's probably my gospel singing group.

Oh, no, but it rains and pours.

Hi, girls.

Mr.

and Mrs. Jefferson, Jimmy, I want you to meet Mary...

have a little girl.

Well, how do you know?

Because of the way she's carrying it. Up high.

Babies carried up high means girls.

She don't know what she's talking about. That's the stupidest thing I've ever

heard in my life.

No, no.

Babies carried up high mean boys.

Now she knows what she's talking about.

She's gonna have a girl. Look at the way her hair is shining.

Have you been eating a lot of pork meat?

Pork meat means boys.

No kidding.

Please, we got any ham in the kitchen?

Oh, Miss Jefferson, is it okay if we sing in the kitchen?

Sure, Florence. Oh, would you give us a little sample, Florence?

Oh, sure. You want to sing something for them, girls? Yes.

Oh, Lord, let me get me a drink.

Okay, let's warm up.

Well,

sounds like we're in tune.

Sounds like you're in pain.

you won't be welcome in heaven a one a two you won't be welcome in

heaven with a bottle

Next to her, everything's a little... George,

why are you so nasty?

Because it's fun.

Oh, hi, Helen, Tom.

Hi, Louise.

Could I borrow some cold medicine?

Oh, Daddy, are you all right?

Jenny, you better not get too close to him. Yeah, that's right. I don't want

little George Jefferson to come out sneezing.

What do you mean, George, George?

He's already got your last name. I want him named after me.

Forget it, Willis. I want him named after me.

George, aren't you forgetting about Lionel and Jenny?

They already got names.

Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry, but I better not take you to your Lamaze class.

Oh, that's all right. I understand.

we can cancel the health center and go with Jenny. Oh, no, really. I can't go

myself. No, somebody should take you.

But who?

Well, it's your time.

You have to take Jenny to her class.

I ain't going to no Lamar's class.

Ain't nothing down here but a bunch of pregnant men and women.

George, you're the only one who can go.

Nothing's gonna make me go.

Let's go.

That's it, ladies.

Stay loose.

Coaches make sure they're properly relaxed.

How am I doing?

Well, you look just as silly as everybody else.

Thanks for coming here tonight, Mr. Jefferson. I know you really didn't want

Who makes you say that?

The way you kept telling the cab driver.

I want to go home.

Okay, class, and relax.

Now, let's all take one deep breath in through our noses and let it out slowly

the way we practice from the chest.

All aboard!

Okay, ladies, down on our backs for our relaxation exercises.

Coaches kneel down beside them.

As long as I'm kneeling, I might as well pray for a boy.

All right, let's start the exercise.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, you've got to help me get rid of any tension.

Oh, that's easy. Just don't think about your parents.

No, I mean by touching. So you just put your hand on my leg, and I'm supposed to

relax it. But I don't want to hurt the baby.

What, by touching my leg?

Well, you said he moves on...

I'm surprised she ain't died from laughing.

Okay, let's try the other legs.

There must have been a riot on their honeymoon.

Mr.

Jefferson, the way you're helping, you'd never know it was your first time here.

Thanks. Can I go home now?

We're not finished yet.

Oh, he's just feeling a little out of place.

Oh, well, don't worry. So do I.

I'm the only woman here who can look down and see her toes.

Okay,

class, we've done enough exercises for tonight.

We're now going to see a film. Oh, boy.

Oh,

I think it's the childbirth film.

What? You don't have to see it if you don't want to. Good.

Yeah, it might make you uncomfortable.

Well, you may not be able to handle it. What? Look, I was in the Navy.

How bad can a film be?

The miracle of birth.

It all happens here in the delivery room.

On hand to assist the mother with her delivery are the doctor, the nurse, and

her husband, who acts as her coach.

Oh, I can handle this.

As you can see, the process of childbirth has now begun.

Oh, my God.

Notice how the mother is helping the baby along by pushing.

Ma's method helps reduce the pain.

The mother is continuing to push to help

the baby emerge into the outside world.

This ain't for you.

You can see that the baby's head is becoming visible.

Hey, what?

Now the camera moves in closer.

No, I can't take no more of this.

Mr. Jefferson, aren't you enjoying the film?

Oh, yeah, but see, I'm farsighted, and I've got to stand far back so I can see

it.

Well, let me help you find a place. Where would you like to stand?

How about Brazil?

the store window on the way home.

Isn't it pretty?

Yeah.

It's just like my first husband.

Big, fat, and hairy.

You know, I wonder if Lionel's gonna get that job in Boston.

Well, if he does, it'll probably be for the best. And we should be happy for

him. Do you really feel that way?

Not for a minute.

Hi, Mr. Bentley. Hello, Mrs. Jay and Mrs. Willis and Florence and... Oh, Mr.

Bentley, this is my gospel singing group. This is Pearl, Alice, and Mary.

Hello. What can I do for you, Mr. Bentley? I need to borrow a pair of

Pantyhose? Ah, yes. I'm doing some painting in my apartment.

But don't most men wear overalls?

No, no. I need to strain some old lumpy paint through them.

Old and lumpy? Now that reminds me of my second husband.

Oh, I think I've got some old pantyhose, Mr. Bentley. I'll go look.

Oh, thank you, Florence.

Say, where's Mr.

J tonight?

Oh, he took Jenny to Hallamard's class.

Ah, it won't be long before you have your own little grandchild.

Yeah. Praise the Lord.

It's so exciting.

That's true.

Say it again.

Ah, the arrival of a child is the most blessed event.

Amen to that.

It's a gift from God. Talk that talk.

The most glorious of all his achievements.

Amen to that.

A baby is a living, breathing miracle.

Oh, baby.

Baby is a hope of the...

much get the idea.

Excuse me, Mr. J. I may have gotten a bit carried away.

Amen to that.

I'm sorry, but you see, I've often thought of having a son of my own. Oh,

play catch.

I'd take him fishing, teach him how to drive a stick shift.

I'd be the sort of father a boy could look up to.

Here's your pantyhose, Mr. Bentley.

Now, who can that be?

Well, why don't you get the door and find out?

I'm not that curious.

Hi.

Lionel, how did the interview go?

Hey, that's a great -looking outfit you got there, Ma.

You got the job.

They offered it to me.

A new job. Oh, Lionel, congratulations.

That's wonderful news.

I mean, I'm so sorry to hear about it.

I mean, I don't know what I mean.

You see, Mr. Bentley, the job is in Boston.

Boston? Oh, that's quite a commute.

Did you take it?

Not yet, but I think I will, yeah.

Oh, Lionel, I'm happy for you.

Oh, come on. Mom, Boston's not that far away.

Oh, you're right, Lionel.

Don't worry.

Everything's fine.

So you'll move away. We'll still see the baby.

I'm happy.

Really. Well, what should we sing next?

Cry me a river.

Are you feeling better now, Mr. Jefferson? Oh, yeah,

thanks. It was a great movie.

The only thing missing was the popcorn.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Look, when Jenny comes out of the ladies' room, would you turn out the

Oh, sure.

Thank you. Oh, while you're waiting, you could take a look at this.

Oh, thanks. What is it?

The picture book of childbirth?

Uh -huh.

Good night.

Good night.

Mr.

Jefferson, I think it's time.

Finally. This class is longer than I thought.

No, it's time for the baby.

The baby?

That's right.

Okay, look, look, look. Just calm down, okay?

Are you calm?

I'm calm.

How can you be calm at a time like this?

Hey, what's going on in here? We're having a baby.

Congratulations.

Now, if you don't mind, I've got to clean up. I mean, we're having a baby.

you've got to help us.

All right.

I'll take care of this.

Just sit down.

I'm already sitting.

Now what?

Okay, okay.

I'll get some clean towels and hot water. Great, okay. What do we do with

stuff? I was hoping you'd know.

Oh, look.

Okay, was that grown louder than the one before?

Don't do that!

Look, we've got to get her to a hospital. I don't have my car.

Right. I'll get my van.

Where is my van?

Don't worry, I'll find it.

Meet me out front. Okay.

Lady, whatever you do, don't sneeze.

Now you got to take it easy, and I got to take it easy.

And everything will be fine when we get you to the hospital.