Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the side, moving on up, to a deep...

for the baby.

I hope Jenny will like it. Oh, I'm sure she will.

It won't be long before we hear the pitter -patter of little feet.

Yeah, Mr. Jefferson should be home any minute.

We're talking about the baby.

Oh, yeah, the baby.

Oh, I remember when I was pregnant with Lionel. It was wonderful.

I know.

There's nothing like the experience of becoming a mother. Oh!

I'll never forget when Jenny was born.

I had a cat that had kittens once.

Hey, Weas.

Oh, hi, George.

Hello, George.

I wish we knew whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. I don't know what

color clothes to get.

Yes, before Jenny was born, we wanted to wallpaper the nursery.

But we didn't know what color to choose.

How could you? You didn't know what color you'd get.

I'll get it.

Hi, everybody.

How are you feeling, honey?

Terrific. We heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today.

Wonderful.

And look what we got. Uh -oh. What are you going to do, play doctor?

No, we did that before Jenny got pregnant.

Well, anybody want to hear the baby's heartbeat?

Yes. How about you, Florence?

No, thanks. I got to wash the dishes.

But you just washed the dishes.

Then it shouldn't take me long.

Okay, everybody be quiet. I want to see if I can hear the baby's heartbeat.

Hey,

I think I hear the baby talking.

Your grandchild's taken after you already.

The baby says when it grows up, it wants to be just like me.

If he'd be just like you, he wouldn't have to grow up.

Hello? Shh.

Isn't this great?

Yes. What are we doing?

Here we go.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Hey, Bentley, what are you doing here? Mr. J, I just came over to ask if I

borrow some noodles.

Why, did you lose yours?

Sure, Bentley. Get them from Florence. She's in the kitchen. Thank you.

I heard the heartbeat.

Boom, boom.

Boom, boom.

Boom, boom.

Boom, boom.

Boom, boom.

Why aren't you out there with everyone else?

I'm doing the dishes.

Oh. I was wondering if you might have some noodles I could borrow.

You see, Gina is coming over for dinner tonight, and I promised to make my

famous fettuccine Bentley.

Oh. Another big date, huh?

Wouldn't you like to find one special girl? Oh, I already have.

Several times.

But haven't you ever thought about something more permanent, like having a

family of your own with lots of children?

Oh, yes.

But then I usually watch an episode of The Waltons and I get over it.

I just don't want to rush things.

That's easy for you to say.

A man can have children even when he's old.

But a woman, after a certain age, her time runs out.

Like now. I feel like I'm playing beat the clock.

Where's everyone going?

upstairs to our apartment. The kids want Tom to hear the baby's heartbeat.

Daddy, he'll be so excited, he'll jump up and down.

Uh -oh, watch out for falling plaster.

Hey, Bentley, you still here?

Yes, Mr. J. I need some expert advice.

Oh. You're a man of action, someone who takes the bull by the horns.

He's an expert on bull, all right.

See ya.

I've been working very hard this year, and I want to take my vacation a little

early, but I'm afraid to ask my supervisor.

I'm sure he'll get upset.

Look, Benny, just go on ahead and tell him you want it.

But what if he says no?

Then tell him again.

But he'll say no again.

Then tell him again.

I'm afraid I couldn't do that, Mr. J. Why not?

Well, just standing here with you, I've already been turned down twice.

Look, Benny, you've got to go after what you want in life, or life will pass you

by and you'll wind up with nothing.

People like a person that's straight to the point.

Let us go out there and be aggressive.

You're right.

I'll be aggressive.

That's it.

Right. I'll show my boss what I'm made of. Right on.

Yes, I'll stand up and demand my rights. See, there you go. Right.

What if he still says no?

You get a new job.

You know, you surprised me. That was good advice you gave, Mr. Bentley. Of

course it is.

If you want something, you've got to go after it.

Yeah. From now on, that's what I'm going to do.

I'm going after it. Mm -hmm.

Well, I don't know if that's going to work with you, Florence.

Whatever you want, you might have to catch on and run.

I have a polter crib for Mrs.

Jefferson. Oh, just put it down over there.

Thank you.

Is this for your baby?

No, I'm not married.

But I do love kids. Yeah, me too.

Really?

Yeah, someday I'd like to have a whole house full of them.

Oh, ain't that a blip.

Come and sit down.

Well, I really got to go and... Can I get you something?

Coffee? Tea?

Sandwich? How about a piece of pie?

What are you doing?

Being aggressive. I mean, being polite.

How about egg salad?

No, thank you.

Good, we're out of eggs anyway.

Well, tell me more about how you'd like to have a whole house full of kids.

Yeah, well...

I really like kids.

And I'm very fortunate, you know.

Oh, really? How's that?

Well, my wife feels the same way. Your wife?

Yeah, my wife.

Hey, can I take you up on that coffee now? I'm sorry, it's all gone.

Well, tea is fine.

That's gone, too. We're still mad at the British.

Well, good luck with your family.

Thanks.

You know, when I first met my wife, I wasn't sure she wanted a large family,

but... Everything turned out great. How nice.

Lucky for you, you met her. No, no, it wasn't luck at all. It was planning.

I was desperate to find the right woman.

So finally I went to Forever After, and that's where I met her.

Forever After?

You met your wife at a funeral, Paul?

No, no, it's a photo dating service.

And the minute I saw her face up on the screen, I knew that she was the one for

me.

I'll give it a try. I mean, thanks for stopping by.

Hello? I'd like the number to Forever After.

And hurry, it's an emergency.

Hello there.

I'm your matchmaker, Chuck Furman. But my friends call me Chuckie Baby.

You must be Florence Johnson. How are you?

Single.

Oh, I know, I know. It's an age -old problem.

Right. So could we get on with it before I age anymore?

All right, you just sit yourself right down there, be comfortable.

Now, first thing I want to know is who Florence Johnston really is.

You want to see some ID?

No, I'm preparing a script for your taping, so I need to delve into your

essence. Watch it.

I want to know what your needs are, your desires.

Well, I need a husband because I desire a family.

A husband. We don't use the word husband around here.

Well, that's what I want.

Well, you know it, and I know it, but he doesn't have to know it.

Now, suppose you tell me everything you did today before you came here.

Okay, well, I got up this morning and fixed Miss Jefferson some oatmeal.

gourmet cook.

And then I washed the dishes.

Loved water sports.

Then I ran down to the store.

A jogger.

I got on the bus, transferred twice, and here I am.

Travels extensively.

You just look over your script while I prepare for the taping, okay?

Uh, Miss Johnston, just one more little thing.

Uh, that's not exactly the face I want.

Yours ain't exactly the one I want.

No, no, no. What I mean is I'd like you to change your expression. You know,

something to draw men to you. Give me that...

Come take me.

I'm yours, stare.

Don't put your hands on me.

Miss Johnson, really, I'm only trying to help.

I mean, you do want a husband and a family, don't you?

Right. Well, then, trust Chucky, baby.

We have to get someone interested in you.

Now, you just make yourself comfortable, okay?

Good. Now...

You're just looking at his camera. Read those lines and go for it. Ready? Okay.

Hello. My name is Flo.

As in go with the flow.

I'm a gourmet cook.

I love water sports.

I jog.

And I've traveled extensively.

I was first runner -up in the Lola Falana look -alike contest.

Did I say runner -up?

Shoot. I won.

get into the movie.

Oh, that's okay with me. Me too.

After that Italian meal, I don't think I could have fit down the aisle.

Well, I'm sorry I made everybody go to Antonio's, but I had this craving for

pizza. And spaghetti.

And meatballs.

And antipasto.

And lasagna.

You keep eating like this, the baby's first words are gonna be, Mama mia.

Was it my imagination or were people staring at me?

One more course, honey, and they would have applauded.

Too bad Tom had to work late. His favorite food is meatballs.

Well, you know what they say, you are what you eat.

Hey, I thought you were going to the movies.

Florence, we... You look... Radioactive.

It's the new me.

What's wrong with the old you?

Well, I... Forget it. We ain't got all night.

Well, it was nice talking to you all. Have fun at the movies.

Florence, we are not going to see a movie.

How about going to see a play?

Florence, what's going on?

Oh, I didn't tell you before, Miss Jefferson, but I got a date tonight.

Oh, well, that's nice.

But I still don't understand.

Well, what I'm trying to say is I went to this dating service.

And I sort of lied on my application.

Would you say you work for a living?

It was just a couple of little lies.

What were they, Florence?

Well, just that I speak eight languages.

And I used to hang glide over India.

See, I told you just a couple of little ones.

Oh, please don't blow my cover.

Florence, you didn't have to lie like that.

Yes, Florence, you're not giving yourself a chance.

Oh, look, ain't nothing wrong with telling a little lie or two when you're

dating. Everybody does it.

Oh?

Then what did you lie about, George?

Me?

Look,

when I said everybody, I didn't mean everybody.

What I meant was, look, would you explain it to Lionel? Oh.

Well, Lionel never lied to me when we were dating, did you, Lionel?

Lionel.

Well, you remember our first date? I said you were one of the foxiest girls I

ever met?

Yeah.

Well, I lied.

What? You are the foxiest girl I ever met.

Oh, honey.

Man, she'll buy anything.

Florence.

All we are saying is one lie leads to another. Where will it end?

That's easy. At the altar.

Once you're married, it don't matter if you're boring.

You're a living proof of that, George.

Well, Tom should be home soon.

I'd better go upstairs and wait for him. We'll go with you.

You got any Alka -Seltzer?

Yeah, I could use some myself.

I could use a turkey sandwich.

You're kidding.

Mother, I'm eating for two.

Two what? Football teams?

Good night.

So,

you're really going through with this charade, huh, Florence?

I have to, Miss Jefferson, if I want to find a man.

Well, the way to do that is to be yourself.

Wheezy, I thought you were her friend.

Never mind him.

Florence, you don't have to do this.

Flo? Yes.

I mean, no.

Excuse me?

I mean, my name is not Flo. It's Florence.

And I haven't traveled extensively.

As a matter of fact, the farthest west I've been is Buffalo.

And when it comes to water sports, I get seasick in the bathtub.

Really?

And I don't know nothing about no gourmet cooking.

You don't know nothing about no kind of cooking.

Come in, Mark.

This is Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson.

Hello. Hi.

And I'm their maid.

Their maid?

Yes, so I'm sorry you had to waste your time. I know a famous artist like you

don't want to date no maid.

Well, Flo, I mean Florence.

I'm not exactly a famous artist.

But your resume said you were an artist whose work could be seen all over the

city. Well, that's true.

You see, I'm the guy who paints those white lines down the middle of the

who did that. Yeah,

I worked for the city.

But where'd you ever get the idea to say you were... Chucky, baby.

What a relief.

I don't think I've lasted too long with that famous artist bit.

But why don't you sit down?

Oh, thank you. Thank you. And Florence, another thing.

You know, on my resume, I said I was really into skydiving. Yeah. Well, I

out of bed once.

Oh, sure, I'm glad we got this straightened out.

Yeah, me too. Come on, George, they want to be alone.

Oh, okay.

See you later, Mark. Next time I'm changing lanes, I'll think about you.

So, Mark, let's talk and see how compatible we

really are. Okay, let's talk.

Name a subject.

All right.

Marriage. Marriage.

Well, I believe in marriage. Do you?

Believe in it, I pray for it.

How do you feel about long engagements?

I don't see any reason for long engagements once you find the right

Really?

Well, you sound like a man who wants to get married and have eight or nine kids.

Not exactly.

Six or seven?

Two kids and a dog.

Florence, I think parenthood is a wonderful thing.

Oh, right.

But it's not for me. I've decided not to have kids.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm getting a headache.

Oh, is there something I can do?

Not anymore.

Well, I better not go tonight.

Okay.

But if your headache should happen to go away, I'll be at the Blue Peacock

restaurant. Well, I don't know. Sometimes these headaches last a long

know because I had one last week. How long did it last?

Two weeks.

Florence, I'd really like to get to know you better.

Same here. I'll come visit you sometime.

You don't even know where I live.

I'll follow the white lines.

What happened to Mark?

Oh, he wasn't for me.

I mean, he was.

But he couldn't do what I wanted him to do. I mean, he could if he wanted to.

But he didn't want to. So, of course, I didn't want him.

I'm going to watch the president's press conference. Compared to you, even he

makes sense.

Florence, I know something's wrong. It might help to talk about it.

Oh, Mark doesn't want to have kids.

Huh?

Oh, Miss Jefferson, you wouldn't understand. You've got Lionel.

Lionel? What has this got to do with Lionel? He's your son, ain't he?

Of course he's my son.

Yeah, he's got Lionel. Mrs. Willis has got Jenny. Jenny's pregnant. I'm the

one who ain't having a baby.

But, Florence, you know babies aren't made overnight.

I mean, you might have one someday.

I can't wait for some day.

If I don't get married and start a family soon, it's going to be too late.

And then where will I be?

What kind of woman will I be with no kids?

I'll be like a frame without a picture.

A camera without film.

Florence. A corncob without nibblets.

Florence, there are a lot of women without children.

I ain't talking about a lot of women. I'm talking about me.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, you don't know what it's like to want to have a child and

not be able to have one.

Oh, yes, I do, Florence.

Huh?

I said, I do know what it's like to want a child and not be able to have one.

You mean Lionel's adopted?

No. You stole it?

No. But before George and I got married, we decided that we wanted a big family.

After Lionel was born, I found out I couldn't have any more children.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, I'm sorry.

For a long time after that, I felt I was less of a woman.

But then I realized it's me who makes me a woman.

Not a baby, not a husband, not anything else.

Maybe so, but I'd still like to have a family.

Well, you might have a family one day, but even if you don't, you'll still be a

woman.

Miss Jefferson, do you think I'm woman enough to talk a man into doing

he doesn't want to do at first?

Sure. You talked George into hiring you, didn't you?

I'll see you later.

Where are you going?

To the restaurant to catch Mark.

Oh, Florence, that's great. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time.

Thanks. And by the way, you're quite a woman.

Thank you, Florence. So are you.

Thank you.

Where's she off to?

Oh, she decided to meet Mark for dinner after all. Good.

That means we got the place all to ourselves, huh?

Maybe we'll watch a little TV, maybe cuddle up a little bit and, uh...

Oh, I don't know, George.

I think I'd just rather read a while than turn in. Well, it's only 8 o

Well, what's the difference?

Like you said, if you're married, it doesn't matter if you're boring.