Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up. To the side. Moving on up. To a D,

lots of apartments in the sky.

Moving on up. Moving on up. To the side. Moving on up.

We finally got a piece of the pie.

This don't fry in the kitchen.

Last week, the Jeffersons were getting ready for a Halloween party.

I'm going to win that costume contest tonight because I got... Florence,

peel me a grape.

Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into.

Ducky Dempster.

Oh, the bathroom door must be stuck again. I'm coming, Miss Jefferson.

Here, Florence, let me help.

Boy, there must be a strong telescope.

I saw a man kill someone.

The killer was a rabbit.

Lord have mercy.

Hello.

My wife said that the killer was a rabbit.

A white rabbit.

A white rabbit.

And tell him just before he shot the guy, he hit him with a big carrot.

Hello? Right.

Uh, uh, my name? Tom Willis.

Bye -bye!

I got him, Mrs. J. Where did he get going? To the bathroom, do you mind? You

can't fool me, Jocko.

Mr. Bentley, that's not him.

Perhaps you're just imagining things.

That's what George and Florence said.

Maybe they were right.

But I could have sworn I saw a rabbit with horn -rimmed glasses and a mustache

kill somebody.

I wish we would have him get back with that ice.

My mouth is dry as the Sahara Desert.

And as big as the Grand Canyon.

Hey, George, come look at this. Is that woman in the bikini still doing jumper

jacks? No, she's doing deep knee bends.

I bet it wasn't her knees you were looking at.

You're not being naughty, are you, Ollie?

Certainly not, Stanley.

Good.

Well,

you're looking much better now, Mrs. J. You're getting some of your color back.

Well, you know what I mean.

Mr. Bentley, I feel so stupid about making you jump that rabbit in the bar.

Please don't tell anyone what happened.

You have my word of honor as an Englishman.

A dirty dempster would say, keep a smile on your face and a whirl in your

porridge.

Right.

Well, I'm going in there, try to act like nothing has happened, have a great

time.

How do I look?

Oh, good.

Well, when I'm good, I'm very, very good.

But when I'm...

I'm even better.

Hello, everybody.

Hey, Weasley. I'm glad to see you back.

It's not my back you're glad to see.

No.

Oh, Mr.

and Mrs. Willis, what marvelous costumes.

They're the elephant's galoshes.

Well, thank you.

I think.

Oh, Mr. Bentley, you look just like Red Button.

Oh, no, I'm Ducky Dempster, the king of comedy.

King of comedy? I thought you was the Duke of Dumb.

Now, not only is Ducky a brilliant humorist, he's also an astounding

Do you want to see a trick? No.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, presenting Ducky the Great.

Are you going to pull a rabbit out of your hat?

That ain't nothing weird if you pull the rabbit out of that telescope.

What?

George, please.

Ha!

What does George mean?

Ha!

Well, Weasley was looking through Bentley's telescope and she thought she

murder. What?

Ha!

And she said the killer was dressed like a rabbit. Ha, ha.

It must have been someone fooling around.

Oh!

Yeah, well, it is Halloween.

And every weirdo in the city is out tonight.

Hey!

Not every weirdo.

I can't understand why my flash powder isn't working.

Flash powder?

Yes, you see, I have some up my sleeve. And when I go, ha!

A puff of smoke is supposed to appear.

Maybe it's because you're doing that old white magic.

Oh, those look delicious. Delicious, Florence.

What are they?

Uh -oh. Sounds like Spielbergers.

Ain't you got nothing else?

Oh, peanuts.

That's more like it.

You dummy.

Dummy? You scared me half to death.

Well, then let's try it again and go for the other help.

Yeah, you tried. You'd be going for the unemployment line.

Oh, will you two stop it?

What's the matter?

Oh, I don't know. It's just that can't you two ever be nice to each other? I'm

always nice.

Then why don't you show it?

Come on. Say something nice to each other. Okay, that's easy.

At least try.

Like your hat.

I like your hat.

Your cane is nice.

So is your horn.

I think you look good.

I think you look cute.

I think you look wonderful.

I think you look terrific.

Sensational. Fantastic.

I think I'm getting nauseous.

Good, because I couldn't take much more of that.

Me neither. I hate your hat.

Yeah. I just hate what's under yours.

And now, before your very eyes, I'm going to make my leg disappear.

Why stop with your leg?

And now for my next pick.

Hey, we better get down to the party.

We don't want to be late for the costume contest.

Oh, no, my dress.

Oh, I hope that hors d 'oeuvre doesn't leave a stain.

If flowers made it, you better hope it don't leave a hole.

Look, you all go ahead.

I'd better get this out right away.

Okay, Weasley, but don't be late.

Don't worry.

Nothing's going to keep me from that costume contest.

Oh, this is going to be so much fun.

you doing here?

You know why I'm here.

Oh, right.

You want some candy?

I'll go borrow some from the neighbors.

Now, look, you'd better get out of here.

I'm not alone, you know. I know that everybody else just left.

That's right.

But we, we've got a dog.

One word from me and I'll tear you to pieces.

Sure, lady.

Look, I'm warning you, mister. All right.

Stick him, Fang!

Kill, Fang!

What happened to Fang?

Well, he's old. He can't hear too well. I don't want to clean him.

I know that you're the one who saw me through the telescope.

Telescope? What telescope?

That telescope.

Oh, that telescope.

You don't see anything through that.

Well, that's not what I heard.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Downstairs at the bar, I heard you talking to that English guy who looked

Pinky Lee.

Pinky Lee?

Oh, no, that... I'm a candid lady.

I'm going to see to it that you don't go peeping in any more windows.

You can't hit me with that.

Why not? It's my carrot.

I mean, I'll scream and the neighbors will hear.

Besides, you've got nothing to worry about. Nobody believes I saw anything

through that telescope.

Everybody thinks I'm crazy.

Crazy, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, it does?

I'm not going to use this.

Oh, thank goodness.

I'm going to throw you off the balcony.

Off the balcony?

Perfect. Crazed housewife takes suicide plunge.

Come on. No, please, don't do this. Hey, listen, you win some and you lose some.

Me, I'm lucky.

Really? Well, if you hurry downstairs, maybe you'll stay lucky and win the

contest. That's a great costume.

I'm lucky because I decided to hide out at that costume party. Otherwise, I

never would have known that you saw me shoot that guy.

Look, why don't you just rob me?

Take a lamp, the silver.

I'll write your checks.

Hey, lady, do I look stupid?

What for?

It's Halloween.

All right, all right, all right. Answer the door.

Answer the door.

But remember, one false move and I turn you into a ghost.

Trick or treat.

Oh, look, a little devil.

Here, let me see if I have something for you. Oh, I just remembered we are all

out of candy.

Well, come on, Roger. No, wait a minute.

Over here, Roger.

Have some hors d 'oeuvres. They are delicious.

And while you're at it, Roger, have some fruit.

It's good for you.

Here's an apple.

Here's an orange.

This is plastic.

Oh, it's okay. It'll stay fresh longer.

Aren't some of these costumes terrific?

Yeah. When I was a kid, I always dressed up as a cowboy.

Oh, you must have been a cute little buckaroo with your thick shooter.

No, we were so poor we could only afford a three -shooter.

I'm trying to remember what my first costume was.

Whatever it was, it was extra large.

I think I'll get another drink.

Me too.

I'm going to win that costume contest for sure. Ain't nobody's costume as good

as mine.

Well, almost nobody.

Halloween must be a real crazy night for you cops, huh?

You ain't kidding.

Right before I got off duty, I had to answer a shooting call down by the

Shooting call?

Hey, Charlie, how about another round? Oh, coming right up. Excuse me, but I

have to make a withdrawal from the blood bank.

Hey, you know something, Will?

It's a good thing we ain't here to see this guy. She'd think he was a killer

rabbit.

Yeah.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, my costume's making this gun stick right in my ribs.

Did you hear that?

The rabbit's got a gun.

Maybe Weezy wasn't seeing things after all.

You think that is Louisa's killer rabbit?

Well, how many rabbits with guns do you know in the neighborhood?

Well, see if you can hear what he's saying. All right, but don't push.

Man, that shooting wiped me out.

Shoot him. It is him.

What are we going to do? He's leaving.

Bullies. What?

If you're George Jefferson, I'd like you to meet Officer Jenkins.

Oh, hey, bro.

How many fools you got in this place?

Look, officer, I'm sorry.

Here, let me buy you a drink, okay? I can use one.

Oh, Mr.

J. Hello.

You two know each other?

Oh, yes, we're neighbors.

Well, figures.

Mr. Bentley.

Mr. Bentley.

I have to go to the powder room. Would you hold my horn?

Well, all right, Florence, but it's almost time for me to view the dog

Oh, I just want to fix my face. It'll only take a minute.

Sounds like an all -night job to me.

Thank you.

Oh, boy, wait till I tell the other kids about this.

Why don't you call them now? Here's the phone.

Invite them all over.

We really must be going. Yes, they really must be going. But you can't

Why not?

Why not?

Because you haven't tried my chocolate cake yet. You have cake?

No, but I'll bake one.

That's all right.

Come along.

No, wait, please.

You like butterscotch, don't you?

Yeah. Oh, well, here's some without the butter.

Really? Goodbye.

I have a pot roast in the kitchen.

All right, very funny.

Now get out on the balcony.

But I'm afraid of heights. Who ain't?

But everybody knows I'm scared of high places.

I'd never commit suicide by jumping off the balcony.

What do you want me to do, throw you off the coffee table?

Come on, outside.

No, they'd never believe it.

Okay, all right. Go into the kitchen, put your head in the oven, and turn on

gas.

I'd never do that either. Why not?

It's electric.

All right, what would you do?

I'd let me go.

Oh, come on, I mean... Okay, okay, okay.

I'd, um...

Uh, pills.

I take sleeping pills. Sleeping pills? Do you have any? Oh, yeah. They're in

that bathroom. Show me.

This better work.

Oh, God. Oh, so... We're in here?

We're in the drawer?

Oh,

Mr. Bentley, it's you.

Yeah, it's time to take a look at Syria.

Oh, the rabbit. No, the dog star. Didn't I tell you?

Oh, somebody's trapped in the bathroom. Yes, I... It's all right.

Thank you.

Okay, okay.

I'm going to have to make this look like a double suicide.

I don't suppose that you two are having a... Okay,

we'll have to shoot you both then. A gun and a rabbit suit. You're the killer

rabbit, Mrs. J. You were right.

Tell me about it.

Okay, both of you, over by the balcony. Let's go. All right, all right, but

there's something I want to say first. What? I don't want to die.

Hey, Wheezy, the costume contest is going to start soon.

Don't move, shorty.

Shorty, who the hell you call?

Well, I ain't real tall.

George, he's the killer.

The killer?

Oh. Hey, hi.

Why don't you sit down and let's talk about this?

Or we can stand.

I gotta think.

All right, take your time. Shut up.

I've got to do something.

Hey, look, why don't you just take it easy? Okay. Now, how'd you get yourself

into this mess?

It's a long story.

Well, I love long stories.

Well, my mother used to tell me about Goldilocks, you know?

I'd always tell her to throw in the extra bear.

Look, Shorty. Hey, but you know what my favorite is?

Snow White and the 42 Dwarfs.

Where did everybody go?

Another one!

I don't believe this.

Oh, sorry. Wrong apartment.

Not so.

Not so?

Shut the door. Shut the door. Shut the door.

Heads up.

Heads up. Get on.

All right. Now I got a bullet in here for each one of you. If you run short,

somebody else can have mine.

rush him. He can only get one of us. I heard that. It was just a thought.

I'm going to blast the first person who takes a step toward me.

Hey, y 'all.

George,

I'm scared. Would you hold my hand?

Sure, Winston. Hold mine, too, would you please?

Bentley, why don't you do something? You're bigger than he is.

Am I? How tall are you?

Hey, Bentley.

I know exactly where to find one angry cop.

Fatso, huh?

Hello, Charlie.

Charlie, I want to speak to my good buddy, Officer Rabbit. I mean, Officer

Deacon.

Boy,

that was really something.

One rabbit dragging another rabbit off to jail.

I hope they put that creep on lettuce and water.

Well, I'm just happy to know that the poor man I saw shot will be all right.

Yeah, from now on, whenever you tell me something, I promise I'm going to

believe it.

That's right. A man and wife should be of the same mind.

And color.

Well, I've just got to turn in. Don't you just love my trophy?

No. You didn't win the fair and square.

Oh, George, don't be such a poor loser.

Mr. J, how was I to know the judge was a Ducky Dempster fan?

As Ducky Dempster would say... Shut up, Bentley.

Shut up, Bentley.

Oh, no, he'd never say that.

Now, good night, all.

Good night, Mr. Bentley.

George, I feel like going to bed, too.

Wait, is the party still going strong? I ain't even sleepy.

Who said anything about sleep?