All language subtitles for The Jeffersons s05e15 A Bedtime Story.eng

Well, we're moving on now. We're moving
on now.

such little bit of noise.

How can somebody with such a tiny head
have such a big mouth?

What you doing up so late?

Can't sleep.

What's the matter? You lose your teddy
bear?

No, but you're gonna lose your job if
you don't knock it off.

But you don't go in the kitchen this
time of night.

I gotta turn out the light. The light
ain't on in the kitchen. It will be when

open the refrigerator.

Aren't you coming to bed?

Oh, hi, Weezy. I'll be there in a
minute. It's early yet.

It's after midnight.

After midnight?

Boy, Tom Short is flying right in the
middle of a good book.

A schoolgirl's guide to dressmaking?

George, this book is from my grammar
school sewing class.

I know that, Weezy.

Well, why are you reading a book about
him, Stitchy?

Because I'm in the cleaning business,
Weezy. I can never learn too much about

clothes.

You know, George, you've been burning an
awful lot of midnight oil lately.

Say what?

It seems like you've been staying up
every night till I'm asleep.

What do you mean by that?

Well, the way you are acting, one might
think you don't want to come to bed.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, what do you mean by that?

Huh?

Well, you think I'm trying to hide
something? You said I'm afraid to come

bed? I mean... Look, Weezy.

Everything is fine. Just don't worry
about it.

What would there be to worry about?

Like I said, nothing.

George, you're being ridiculous.

I'm going to bed.

You can stay up till New Year's if you
want.

Oh, come on, Weezy, look.

I didn't mean nothing. You go to bed.
I'll be there in a couple minutes.

You sure you don't want to come now?

No, I want to finish reading that last
chapter.

Of course, George.

Anything you say.

You sure there's nothing I can do? What
do you mean by that?

Oh, forget it, George. Good night.

Good night.

And don't wait up. This is a long
chapter.

Well, I'm going to bed. You ain't gonna
see me no more till morning.

I hope not.

If I catch you sneaking around again,
I'm gonna hang a bell around your neck.

That's all right.

It'll match the ball and chain. You
gotta rob my leg.

I get my minds on other things.

You worried about Mr. Jefferson not
sleeping lately?

Yes. I'm afraid he has insomnia.

Well, it's gonna get worse if he don't
get some sleep.

You know, I think we have a pair of
earplugs in our bathroom cabinet.

Earplugs? What George needs is absolute
quiet.

Well, if you want absolute quiet, don't
plug his ears, plug his mouth.

Here,

Florence, put these in the cupboard.

That's an awful lot of pills.

You must have a big headache.

Yeah, you.

Vitamin E.

Yeah. E is supposed to build a man up.

Well, if you're going to try to build up
that puny little body, you need to hold

out for them.

Put those away out there at the door.

These oysters arrived for you, Mr.
Jefferson.

Yes, sir.

I rushed them up here as quickly as I
could.

I didn't want them to spoil.

You didn't have to rush. They packed in
ice.

Oh. But if I didn't hurry, the ice would
have melted.

And, of course, I had to take the back
stairs, too. Keep out of sight.

Why'd you have to do that?

Well, sir, you know, some oysters have
pearls in them.

I had to take precaution against being
hijacked on the way up here.

Oh. You think these oysters got pearls
in them? Of course.

Here you go. Keep the change.

preparing a Chinese dinner and I was
wondering if I might borrow some peanut

oil. We don't use peanut oil. Our
peanuts don't squeak.

I see that you're having oysters.

You know, oysters Rockefeller is one of
my favorites.

Oh, yeah? Well, money Rockefeller is one
of mine.

You know, of course, that oysters are an
aphrodisiac.

I sure wouldn't buy no honky -desiac.

No, I mean that oysters are supposed to
be a sexual stimulant. I didn't know

that. I was born for the flavor.

Oh, I never knew you were an oyster
lover.

Oh, sure. I've been loving oysters for
years.

What's that?

Well, they look like oysters. Here.

What am I supposed to do with these?

Take them in the kitchen and roast them.

Roast them?

Well, barbecue them. I like them both
ways.

You know, there are all kinds of
aphrodisiacs. I had an uncle who was

in India. He used to swear by powdered
rhinoceros horn. He ate great quantities

of it. Oh, yeah? Did it pepper with the
lovelace?

Oh, yes, indeed. Although there was one
unfortunate side effect.

Every spring, he went berserk and tore
up a sofa with his nose.

Oh, hello, Mr. Bentley.

Is there something I can do for you?
Thank you, Mr. J. I wanted to borrow

peanut oil.

Penelope and I are dining at my place
tonight.

Oh, it's in the kitchen. Florence will
give it to you. Oh, thank you. Tonight,

plan to make a Cantonese duck.

Oh. How are you going to do that? Throw
a rock at his head?

Well, that's very funny, Mr. J. I must
remember that. How do you make duck

Cantonese throw a rock at its head?

That's very funny.

I don't know why, but it's very funny.

I know one thing. You can't make a
Cantonese duck out of an English turkey.

George, can I talk to you about
something?

Sure, please, anything.

It's about you and not coming to bed
nights.

Some other time, Weasley. Why not now?

Well, because I gotta answer the door.

Helen! Come in, good to see you.

Hey, talk to Louise.

Well, I really can't stay.

Why not?

You always stayed before.

That's only because I can't resist your
charming personality.

I know, nobody can.

Louise, would you like two tickets to
the ballet tonight?

You and Tom aren't going?

No. Tom and I are having a candlelight
dinner at home tonight.

Alone.

Oh?

Oh, Louise, Tom is in one of his
romantic moods again.

He's a real tiger. A tiger?

That overstuffed mouse?

It's like a honeymoon all over again. In
the last week, we've won out three

Johnny Mathis records.

Why, what's got into Tom?

I don't know.

But whatever it is, I ain't gonna fight
it.

I'll be right back.

George, where are you going? Up to see
my good friend Tom.

Your what?

My ace boom coon. I ain't seen my old
buddy in a long time.

You saw him yesterday.

Like I said, we got a lot of catching up
to do. But look, just make yourself at

home. Talk as much as you want.

What?

What's got into him?

I wish I knew.

He's been acting very strange lately.

Well, what do you say, Louise? Can you
use these ballet tickets?

Thanks, Helen, but I don't think so. I'm
going to try to get George to sleep

early tonight.

Excuse me, but did I overhear you say
you had extra tickets for the ballet

tonight? Two of them, Mr. Bentley, free
of charge. Can you use them? Oh, yes,

indeed. Thank you.

You're sure you won't regret it?

No way.

Well, thanks again, and may I say on
behalf of Penelope and myself that it

like a foul evening ahead.

A foul evening? Yes, a Cantonese duck
followed by Swan Lake.

Damn,

I should have made that one.

Look, I want to talk to you man to man.

Sure, go ahead. What is it? I mean,
straightforward.

No beating around the bush.

Oh, how do you like that?

I think this floor breaks to the right.

I'm trying to talk to you and you're
talking to the floor.

Will you listen to me? I am listening.

Look, I want to ask you a question. I
want a straight answer. Go ahead. What

it?

What's your secret?

Well, actually, it's all in the grip.

See, I have this overlapping... Oh, I
thought you were talking about golf.

No, I'm more like baseball.

Baseball? Yeah, you know, like... Well,
take Reggie Jackson, for instance. When

he comes up to the plate, he swings and
strikes out, right?

But the next time, he hits the home run,
right?

Right. Or he could foul out. Damn it, I
don't want to...

That's my problem.

Your problem is not fouling out?

No, my problem is not getting up to the
plate.

George, what are you talking about?

Well, uh... Uh, Willis, uh... Did you
ever have any trouble in bed?

Gee, I don't think so.

Not since I was potty trained, anyway.

I don't mean that kind of trouble, you
dumb turkey.

I mean, uh, well, you know.

Oh, you mean that kind of trouble.
Right.

Never.

Why do you ask?

Oh, well, because, uh, you know, this
friend of mine, he's got that problem.

Naturally, I don't know nothing about
that.

So I figured I'd ask you.

Why doesn't your friend talk with his
doctor?

Well, because he doesn't want to worry
him.

Huh? Well, you know, it's a family doc.
He's an old friend.

Oh. Oh, I understand.

Yeah, so, uh, he'd rather see a
stranger.

You know any strange doctors?

I do know a doctor who specializes in
that kind of problem. Dr.

Beamish. Hey, that's great. Why don't
you give me Dr. Beamish's phone number?

And I'll pass it on to my friend.

Oh,

I see.

Hi, Helen.

Tom was just teaching me how to put.

Oh, George, you poor man.

Look, he ain't that bad of a teacher.

No. Louise just told me all about your
problems. What?

Helen,

look. Oh, that's all right, George. It's
only an inexpensive day. No, I ain't

talking about that. What did Louise tell
you? About the problem you've been

having.

What problem?

Why, the one you've been having at
night.

You mean she knows?

Of course she knows.

Even I can tell.

You can?

Look, Helen, why don't we... What do you
mean you can tell?

George, anybody can tell that you're
suffering from insomnia.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

No wonder she's upset. Look how
irritable you are.

Yeah, I know. It's just not like me.

Well, anyway, look.

Let me get back downstairs. Look, I'll
call you later. You can give me Dr.

Beamish's number, okay? Sure, George.

Dr. Beamish?

Oh, yeah.

He's a vet.

You know, animal doctor.

He's got this sick cat.

See you all later.

Tom, is that the same Dr. Beamish I
know?

The psychiatrist?

Yes. You see, it's not just insomnia.
It's their sex life.

George is worried about his lack of
drive.

Oh, Louise never said anything to me
about that.

I don't think she even noticed.

Wouldn't something like that be hard to
miss?

But Louise thinks it's insomnia. I'm
going to tell her the truth.

And I'll look up Dr. Beamish's phone
number for George.

Oh, Tom.

Wait a minute.

We don't have to rush.

Huh? Well, Dr.

Beamish won't be in until tomorrow.

Right? Well, yeah.

Put on a Johnny Mathis record.

Mr.

Jefferson?

Oh, man, I hate to see the bill I'm
going to get for all of this. What do

mean?

I've never seen a doctor with so many
secretaries.

One lady shows me in here, now here you
come to take me someplace else.

Well, let's go see old Dr. Beamish.

I'm old Dr.

Beamish.

You driving? You a doctor? A real
doctor. Got a diploma and a Mercedes.

Yeah, well, I was expecting a man.

I don't want to strip down in front of
no woman. No, I'm not that kind of a

doctor. I'm a psychiatrist.

Yeah, but see, I was just expecting a
regular doctor. You know, a man with a

white robe and earphones around his
neck.

Pocket full of those popsicle sticks to
look down your throat.

You ain't even got a scale.

Mr. Jefferson, I examine your mind.

But my head is not where the problem is.

That dumb Willis, he don't know one end
from the other.

Why don't you just sit down and tell me
what your problem is?

Tell you?

Yes.

Well... Okay.

Well, sometimes at night... Well, no, I
mean... Well, uh... Oh, yeah, you know,

like in the Bible?

When a snake gives Adam and Eve an apple
and turns them both on? Mm -hmm.

Well, that same snake could give me and
my wife a whole barrel of apples and

nothing would happen.

Oh, you mean Mrs. Jefferson is
unresponsive.

No, it's not her. It's me.

I've just been hitting a lot of foul
balls lately.

What?

In other words, it's been a month since
old Cupid zapped one of those arrows

into our bedroom.

Well, that's not unusual.

And a week before that?

Also not unheard of.

Yeah, but I don't know when the last
time was I turned out the light and

Wheezy say those three little words.

I love you?

No, I got a headache.

I think I understand.

Tell me, Mr. Jefferson, have you had any
special business problems lately?

Well, yeah, I've been having a lot of
trouble with the store in Queens.

There, you see?

No, what?

Stress, Mr. Jefferson.

Yours is a very common complaint with
men.

Yeah, old men.

No, age has very little to do with it.

That's what you say.

As I said, Mr. Jefferson, yours is a
very common complaint.

But it's almost always temporary.

It'll pass.

Yeah, but when?

Well, as soon as you get rid of the
stress, you'll probably go back to being

your old self again.

Oh, you mean when I stop worrying about
the store in Queens, my problem will

end? I wouldn't be at all surprised.

But I could have trouble with that store
for a whole year.

I need help quick.

Well, there are other ways to solve your
marital difficulties.

Yeah? Well, what are they?

If all else fails, you might consider a
surrogate.

A lawyer? We don't want to get divorced.

No, a sexual surrogate.

Say what?

A trained woman.

Trained in what?

Well, with her you have talking and
touching and ultimately the full

experience.

You mean me and her? With her you'll do
what you're afraid to do until you do it

right.

Are you jiving? I jive you not.

But I'm married.

So is she.

Shame on her.

Mr. Jefferson, it's up to you. But if
you change your mind, I can call and

an appointment for you.

Are you kidding? You're asking me to
cheat on my wife? No, it's not cheating.

It's called therapy.

Not where I grew up, it ain't.

You should have your mouth washed out
with soap.

Some doctor you are.

Marcus Welby would never tell a guy to
do something like that.

George, he dribbled out of Charlie's
bar.

Oh, bring him in, Raoul.

I ain't no good.

I almost went to a demonstrator.

Don't worry, I didn't go.

I passed out before I got out of the
bar.

You what?

I said, nobody knows.

I had to lift him off the sidewalk in
order to get him to his feet.

Oh, that was nice of you, Ralph. Then
dust him off. He was covered with dust

stuff.

Here, Ralph. Thank you, ma 'am.

Say, you got a little extra coming.

Would you like me to carry something?

No, no.

Move a little chair around?

No, no, Ralph.

You can make up the difference some
other time. Yes, ma 'am. And I'll

Yes, ma 'am.

No! Now that's a dude that's been
sipping the sauce.

It's not his fault. He's got a problem.

Oh, yeah?

What kind of problem?

Oh, never mind. Helen Willis told me all
about it. I ain't the man I used to be.

That's good news.

Florence, please.

Oh, I think I've got an idea.

Florence, give me a hand getting Mr.
Jefferson into the bedroom.

Hurry before he wakes up.

Hold him.

Hold him while I take his clothes off. I
won't either.

Lawrence, this is no time for modesty. I
need your help. I'm sorry. Two things I

don't do.

Windows and zippers.

Just cover your eyes and be careful.

He's a light sleeper.

All right. Well, hurry up.

Oh, Lars, he's waking up. I have to go
in the bathroom and change.

Hurry, help me finish undressing him. I
can't do that, Miss Jefferson.

Why not? Because I'm going to be in my
room with the dough locked.

Wait!

George.

George. Huh?

Wake up.

What happened?

Oh, don't be so modest.

Say what? You know what I'm talking
about, you tiger.

Tiger.

George,

you were wonderful.

Oh, I was that good, huh?

Threw like a champ.

You mean like Reggie Jackson hitting the
home run in the night?

Better.

Good night, George.

Good night?

What are you talking about, Weasley?
This game's going into extra innings.

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front
of a studio audience.

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