Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, too deep down, moving on up, to a

deep...

Some bell. I went through high school without ringing anybody's chimes.

Well, I know what you mean, child.

Because when I was in high school, the only bell I heard was the tardy bell.

And the going home bell.

Well, hello, Florence.

May I use your top?

Take your part.

I mean your stove top. Mine isn't working.

Oh, sure. Come on in. Oh, thank you.

Did you call the gas company about it, Mr. Bentley? Yes, I did, and they're

treating it like a rush job. They're sending a man over next week.

Hi. Hey, what a smashing dress.

Oh, right. Thank you. I'm going to my high school reunion.

Oh, really? I went to a reunion once. Didn't recognize the soul.

Everyone changed that much, huh?

Oh, no. I was at the wrong reunion.

I think the stove's waiting for you, Mr. Bentley.

You got anything?

Oh, I think so. I'm just going to fix some risoles.

Risoles? What's risoles? Oh, they're sort of English meatballs.

You just dip them in egg and breadcrumb and fry them.

I'm going to serve mine with collard greens and black -eyed peas.

I call them Bentley's risole food.

Bentley's risole food.

You know, when Mr. Bentley was a kid, he sure must have inhaled a lot of that

London foam.

You know, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about going to that reunion.

Why? According to your yearbook, you were pretty popular in high school.

What makes you say that?

Because in this picture, you were the president of the camera club.

I was the only one who had a camera.

And here's a picture of you in the glee club.

I was the only one who could sing bass.

Oh, Mr. J., I just realized that I said risoles were English meatballs.

I didn't mean you had to make them with English meat.

American meat is quite good enough.

I mean, just in case you thought that I... Right.

Oh, look out.

Who is this supercharged superman?

Oh, that's Bo Morrison. He was captain of the football team.

Now, there's a real mound of American meat.

I wouldn't mind making risoles with him.

He was also president of the senior class.

All the girls in school had a crush on Bo.

Including you? Of course.

But I never had a chance with him.

What do you mean? He even wrote a poem in your book.

Bo wrote a poem in every girl's book.

But in this picture, you're standing right next to him in the cafeteria line.

Now, that was my lucky day.

Bo lost his wallet, and he let me pay for his sloppy Joe's sandwich.

Hey, we there?

Oh, my gosh. Are you ready for the big night? We are going to dance

until daylight.

All right.

How about that? A tiny turkey trying to be a disco ball.

Ain't you got something better to do?

I must have. Anything's better than watching you.

George, I think you're more excited about going to my reunion than I am. Why

not? I can't wait to show them old classmates of yours that Louise Mills

1 ,000 in the marriage department.

And just to show them how lucky you really are, I bought you this.

Oh,

a mint jacket.

Oh,

George, it's beautiful.

But don't you think it's a little warm to wear a mink jacket?

Why? Minks wear them all year round.

Hey, you know it's hard to fight that kind of logic.

Hey, Weez, maybe the band will play our song tonight, huh? Your song?

You mean the theme from The Beauty and the Beast?

Mona Lisa, dummy.

Remember, Weez?

Mona Lisa.

Mona Lisa.

Men have names.

The mist is mine.

Mona Lisa was playing the first time we kissed.

What's that smell?

It's Mr. Bentley.

No, he smells better than that.

His stove isn't working, so he's cooking in our kitchen.

Oh, cooking.

Hey, you and me going to be cooking tonight, don't we?

You know something, Weezy?

You're lucky I didn't finish high school.

Why is that?

Because if I had a class reunion, all the girls would want to dance with me

you'd have to wait in line. Because, I mean, I was really popular.

Shoot, she wasn't as popular as Miss Jefferson.

Say what?

When Miss Jefferson was in high school, all the boys were chasing her.

They were?

Yeah.

Look at this.

Lawrence. Hey, we made you take a picture with that jive turkey.

Because he was the captain of the football team. And he had a big crush on

Jefferson. Now, Florence, you know that's not... Listen to this poem he

her book.

Until the time we meet again, I hope you'll always be my friend.

Big deal.

How about all the poems I sent you when I was in the Navy?

Oh, yes. I'll never forget the romantic one you sent me from Korea.

Roses are red, violets are nice.

Man, am I sick of eating rice.

who you little sweet -talker is.

Well, at least Weezy made the right choice when she picked me over this

Right choice? She passed up a Billy Dee Williams for a Rodney Allen Ripley.

Well, if I'm going to my cousin's for dinner, I guess I better get moving

Where's my camera?

If she's going to be moving fast, I want to get a picture of that.

Get that, Florence.

I'm not going in that direction.

I'll get it.

How come whenever there's work around, she's always going in the opposite

direction?

Oh, hello, Raoul. I just stopped up to deliver your mail, Mrs. Jefferson.

You're the doorman. Why do you want to be the mailman, too?

It's just one of my many little extra services that I do, which I don't have

do, but I like to do for the fine tenants in this building who have proven

themselves wonderfully generous.

Ah, man, now, you know, you're the only person I know that turns every day into

Christmas.

Well, ho, ho, ho.

Well, no, no, no.

George.

Oh, here.

Thank you, sir.

But, sir?

Yeah, but sir what?

Well, sir, you'll notice the post office has raised the price of delivery.

I know. And I was wondering, in view of the general inflationary pressure, that

you two would increase my usual gratuity accordingly?

Uh, what?

Ralph wants a cost of living increase.

Oh, okay, sure, I'll give you one. Thank you, sir. Soon as I get my cost of

tipping increase.

That's very funny, sir.

By the way, sir, I was looking through your copy of New York Magazine. There's

very interesting article in there I think you'll enjoy.

It's called How Smart New Yorkers Save Money.

Oh, I know how they do that. They just move into a building that ain't got no

doorman.

Hey,

wait, it's from a lawyer.

Oh, what's that, George?

It's just my will. I changed it a little.

Change? What was wrong with your old will?

Well, my bank book has gotten more pages, so I had to add pages to my will.

Florence! Where is my signature?

Show up. It's on a check to me.

Here, sign it. I ain't signing no strange piece of paper I ain't never

before. Sign!

The last time I did that, I wound up with a year's subscription to Better

and Gardens. And I didn't even have a garden.

You ain't gonna have no home if you don't sign it.

Well, what is it?

Look. You can bet your life nothing in here concerns you. It's my will.

Your will? Oh, I'll sign to that.

What changes have you made in your will, George?

Nothing important.

Well, I'm leaving now. I hope you have a nice time at your reunion.

She'll be dancing with me, won't she?

Well, try to have a nice time anyway.

Now I need one more person to sign it.

I'll sign it. No, you can't do that. You're the beneficiary.

I'm leaving all my dough to you.

Then you haven't changed it at all.

No, not much.

Oh, I'm afraid my back's gone out again.

Bentley, great. Just what I need.

You need your back to go out? Nope. You're in the perfect position to sign

George, Mr. Bentley's hurt. How did you do it this time?

Oh, I spilled some salt on the floor and I bent down to throw it over my

shoulder for good luck.

This sign here is my will.

I'll gladly lend you my hand, Mr. J, if you'll lend me your feet.

I gotta save my feet for dance tonight.

Oh, please, Mr.

J.

Okay, lamb.

Oh, you're a tough.

Yeah, all my friends say I'm that.

George, what does this mean?

What? To my wife, Louise, I leave all my earthly possessions. That means when I

go, you got.

No, not that part. This part.

On the condition that she never remarries. Oh, well, that's just a

something I asked my lawyer to throw in.

Then you can just tell him to throw it out.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, you have no right to put that in the will.

I got every right. It's my will.

This isn't a will.

It's a won't.

I have, Mr. J.

Okay, I'll be right there.

Why would you want to remarry anyway?

Let's face it, you already have heaven on earth.

George, it's not that I want to remarry.

There's no one in this whole world for me but you.

That's true.

But it's not right for you to order me around like this. I'm not ordering you

around. I'm protecting you.

Protecting me? That's right.

There's a whole lot of shifty dudes out there just waiting to grab some widow.

Oh, George, give me a little credit.

Look, Weezy, you can have all the credit you want. It's the cash I'm worried

about.

What? Look, Weezy.

I don't want nobody winding up in my bed with my bread.

Maybe I should come back later. It's okay.

George, I insist that you take that clause out of the will.

What is the matter with you?

You sound like you already picked out another husband.

Huh?

Uh -huh, so that's it. Admit it.

Oh, George, you found me out. The minute you draw your last breath, I'm going to

hurl myself into the arms of another man. Who is it?

It's Mr. Bentley, of course. Bentley?

He's joking, Mr. J. He's joking.

Oh, I know.

Oh,

you fixed it.

Marvelous. Thank you.

Uh -huh.

So is this old school made of yours, ain't it? This is Bo Morrison.

Now, I know you're crazy.

Look at the two of you on this bridge in the cafeteria.

If you were squeezed any closer together, I wouldn't know where you

ended.

George, you're impossible. You know that.

Huh. Now I see why you wanted to take that no remarriage clause out of the

Why? Because when I go below, you go to bow.

That is the stupidest thing I ever heard you say. Uh -huh, uh -huh. And I've

been stupid, right, because I didn't dig this bow thing from the beginning.

I don't have no time to stand here and continue this nonsense.

We can discuss it after the reunion. We ain't going to no damn reunion.

George. You're not going to run my life after you're gone, and you're not going

to run my life while you're here. Okay, look, if you want to go to that reunion

and see your old lover, you go ahead, but you're going without me.

Well, that'll suit me just fine.

You ain't going to be no fox in my mink.

I think my resolves are burning.

Wheezy!

Oh, it's only you.

Well, I didn't get no great big thrill out of seeing you either.

But at least I was polite.

How come you ain't at the reunion with Miss Jefferson?

Of course, she's getting married again as soon as I die.

Wait a minute.

How many of them drinks have you had?

Come and sit next to me, Florence.

Uh -oh, too many.

Will you come here and sit down? I want to ask you something.

Can't you ask me standing up?

No, it's a sitting question. Now sit.

If you was me.

Which I ain't.

I know you're not.

I said, but if you was me.

If I was you, you'd be a much nicer person.

Will you shut up? Then how am I going to answer your question?

By giving me a chance to ask it.

Then you can talk.

Well, just don't start with if you was me.

I just finished eating.

will that you sign.

I left all my money to Weezy. I mean, everything that I own with one condition

that she don't remarry. Now, she got mad.

Now, tell me, am I being unreasonable, yes or no?

That can't be answered with yes or no. Sure it can. You can say yes, I'm right,

no, she's wrong.

Tell me something. Did Miss Jefferson say she was going to get married again?

No, but she didn't say she wouldn't.

Now, you tell me who you think is right.

It don't make no difference.

Say what?

Because you'll be dead by then.

Yeah, but I know about it now and it's killing me.

Let me ask you a question.

What if Miss Jefferson was to go before you? Would you get married again?

Of course not.

Are you willing to put that in writing?

Promising to give away all your money if you get married again?

Now, that's crazy.

It ain't no crazier than what you're asking of Miss Jefferson. That's

Well, I guess you're right. After all, the way Miss Jefferson throws money

around. Weezy ain't like that. She's very careful with my money.

And she's always looking at other men. No, don't be talking like that about

Weezy. She ain't never looked at another man since the first day she laid eyes

on me.

Oh, well.

Then what was your question?

The question is, how the hell am I so stupid?

I don't know. It just comes easy to some folks.

Florence, I could kiss you. If you do, they'll be reading your will tomorrow.

Ha ha ha!

I ain't Eddie.

You can't fool me.

You're Eddie Salter. No, I ain't.

Yes, you are.

You may have gotten a little taller, but I know you from anywhere.

Lady, I'm George Jefferson.

How about that?

You even changed your name.

Look, I didn't change nothing. My name is George Jefferson. I've never seen you

before in my life. Up to your old tricks, huh?

Playing like it's the first time we met. Well, that's okay with me, because I

love what happens.

Whatever you say, Eddie.

You cut down.

I'm ticklish now.

I know, Eddie.

Remember?

George, what are you doing here?

Look, Reese, I just came down to tell you how stupid I was.

Do we have enough time?

I deserved it, Reese. I deserved it. Look, I just want to say I'm sorry about

everything and I'll change the will tomorrow.

Oh, George.

Thank you for being so understanding.

You're welcome.

And if I ever die, you can do whatever you want.

Oh, you won't die, George. You're too stubborn.

See, I learned my lesson, weasel. I mean, I ain't got nothing really to be

suspicious about.

You don't know how true that is, especially here.

What do you mean, here?

I never had any boyfriends when I was in high school.

Say what?

I went to 43 sock hops, and I didn't wear out one pair of socks.

No kidding.

Nobody ever paid much attention to me. I was a wallflower.

What about this Bo Morrison guy?

Bo Morrison never paid any attention to me.

What about the poem he wrote in your book?

Bo wrote the same poem in every girl's book.

You mean he really didn't notice you? I'm sure he doesn't even remember me.

Excuse me. May I have it, Dan?

Why, I'd be delighted.

Do you mind, George?

Of course not. Knock yourself out.

Okay. Let's go, Bo.

Bo.

Hello again.

Hey, is that Bo Marson?

Yeah. All the girls went crazy for him.

Tall, good looking, full of muscles.

But I like him short and puny.

Hey, look, how about you dancing with me?

Oh, Eddie, I knew you'd come around.

Man, where are you running? This is a dance not a trap, me.

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm doing a new dance called Old Boyfriend's Son.

floor. Can't you find your own territory? I know my territory, chump,

invading it.

Let's not fight about it.

Huh. Chicken, huh?

Just as I thought.

Football sure is a dumb game.

And all football players are sissy.

You ought to tell that to Mean Joe Green.

I'm telling you.

Everyone's entitled to his own opinion, no matter how stupid it is.

I'm so embarrassed. My husband's very jealous.

I don't blame him. I would be, too.

You know, you're even prettier than I remember.

I'm surprised that you remembered me.

Why? Because in high school, you never asked me for a date.

Sure wanted to.

Never got up the nerve.

Oh, whoa.

Hey!

Thank you, Claudine.

What? Thanks for the lovely dance, Claudine.

You're welcome.

Claudine!

How about that? He thought you were somebody else.

Yeah. He didn't even remember you.

I know.

Hey, we... Oh, can I get you something?

No.

Hey, I'll be right back.

I'd just like to tell you again how nice it is seeing you after all these years.

Oh, Bo, something's puzzling me.

You called me Claudine.

I don't remember any Claudine in our class.

I know that, Louise.

No sense in getting a jealous husband stirred up.

Oh, it was my pleasure, Bo.

I better quit while I'm ahead.

See you next reunion.

Hey, Weezy, you know something? That Bo Morrison is dumber than I thought.

What makes you say that?

I mean, how could he go through four years of high school and not even notice

the prettiest girl in the whole class?

But, George... Man, what a fool he is. I mean, he couldn't be lucky to have

somebody half as good as you.

George, Bo, just... I know, Weezy, but don't feel bad.

You're the fox's thing here.

Oh, they play anything for 20 bucks.

George.

Yes?

I love you.

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.