Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up.

Now let's measure the other foot.

Why, they're both the same size.

That's what most people think.

But if you want each moccasin to fit like a glove... Glove? I ain't planning

wearing them on my hands.

Then I have everything I need.

You can go back to work.

Well, in that case, child, maybe you better check the other one.

Would you get that, Miss Jefferson?

at my feet. I want to enjoy it.

Hello?

Uh, just a minute.

Alan, it's for you.

Tell her he's busy.

How do you know it's a her?

Who else calls him but lovesick females?

Alan is soothing, Rafferty.

Oh, no, not her. That means two hours on the phone. Would you mind telling her

I'm not here?

Well, I'd rather not lie.

I can fix that.

Oh, Susan, I'm sorry.

Alan stepped out.

Yes, I'll tell him you call as soon as he gets back.

Oh, Alan, Susan Rafferty just called.

Shoot. Sorry I missed her.

Hey, Wheat, I got some great news.

Hey, Prawn, start cleaning up this mess. That don't sound like great news to me.

rest of your body moves as quick as your mouth, you'd be the best maid in New

York.

What's the news, George?

My back is thinking about putting me on the board of directors.

Oh, George, that's wonderful.

Congratulations. Don't congratulate me yet, Weezy. I still got to pass the

What test?

Well, Phil Taylor's test.

He'll be here any minute to see if I got the proper qualifications.

Proper qualifications?

Well, you know, like a well -dressed wife, expensive apartment, a maid.

Oh, man, it's true.

Money talks.

then I shouldn't be hearing a word from you.

Now get rid of this junk.

Wheezy, put on that long black dress I like.

That's an evening gown.

It's only the middle of the day.

Well, we just closed the curtains.

Do you really want Mr. Taylor to think I sit around the house in an evening

gown? Why not? It's expensive, ain't it?

George, I refuse to help you make a fool of yourself.

Oh, he don't need no help with that.

Lawrence, don't just sit there ugly and up the place.

Give Alan a hand.

Oh, no, that's Taylor.

Lawrence, get back here.

I wish you'd make up your mind. I'll get this. You answer the door.

Florence, open the door.

Smile.

Florence, we thought there was nobody home.

There ain't. See you.

George. Hi, Louise.

Tom and I wanted to know if you'd like to go to an antique sale with us. If she

can't, she's got to stay here and meet Mr. Taylor.

No, thanks anyway, Helen.

Who's Mr. Taylor?

A man from George's bank.

George is being considered for a position on the bank's board of

Board of directors?

Congratulations, George. You're taking a real step up.

Thanks. Now why don't you take a real step out?

Come on, Tom.

Louise, would you tell Alan that if he gets hungry later on, I made some cream

puffs. They're his favorite.

Helen, if you're trying to bribe your son into spending an occasional evening

with his parents, the cream puffs won't work. Why not?

I already ate them.

Too bad you can't join us, Louise. There should be some great buys at the sale.

Helen, I promise we'd look at antiques. I never said buy.

What was the last word you said?

Buy? Buy.

George, the way you treat the Willis's, I'm surprised they even bother to come

down here.

Me too. Ain't they ever gonna learn?

George. Louise, it's just they always catch me at the wrong time. That's all.

With you, that's any hour of any day.

Blonde. 12 months a year. What?

Year in and year out.

What?

Damn those Willises.

Now what do you want? Pardon?

I mean, what do you want to be standing out there in the hall for? You could be

standing inside. Come in, Mr. Taylor.

Thank you, George.

Hey, this is my dearest darling wife, Louise.

What do you do, Mr. Taylor? Oh, just call me Phil. No need for formality.

In that case, Phil, I'm Florence.

Hi,

Florence. How are you?

Oh, I'm fine. Mr. Jefferson's the nervous wreck.

I ain't nervous.

Now, go fix Mr. Drinker Taylor.

Don't bother, George. I can only stay a minute.

Why don't you have a seat? Well, thank you. Thank you.

Just relax, George.

No need to treat me like somebody special.

Oh, we know you're nobody special.

But not to us.

George, don't be nervous. Now, we're all your friends down at Central Fidelity

Bank. We're very proud of you.

You are a real success story.

Well, I worked hard. You certainly have. You built that one small store into a

thriving chain.

Yeah, but I didn't do it by myself.

All those years with somebody standing right by my side.

Standing by me all the way.

No matter how bad things got.

I'm telling you, if it wasn't for that, I never would have made it.

George, you don't have to tell all that to Mr.

Taylor. But it's true, Weasley. Where would I be without Central Fidelity

Yes? Hi. Oh, Debbie.

Hi, Daddy.

Daddy. The people at the bank told me you were over here. George, Louise, this

is my daughter, Debbie. Debbie, Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson. Nice to meet you. I

thought you had plans.

Well, I did, but I forgot something important.

What was that?

Money. Could I borrow some?

Well, you know banker's policy. What do you have for collateral, huh?

How about a kiss?

Here you go.

How about two kisses?

Okay. Thank you. Excuse me, has anybody seen a needle lying around out here? I

left it while I was... Hello?

Uh, Alan, this is Debbie Taylor.

And her father missed it. Just call me Phil.

Pleased to meet you, Philly.

Well, I guess I better get going.

Already?

We just met.

I wanted to get to the craft fair before everything's picked over.

The craft fair? Uh -huh. What do you make?

Jewelry. I made my necklace.

Very pretty.

Thank you.

Necklace is great, too.

Listen, I was going to the craft fair myself to get some leather supplies.

Would you mind if I went along with you? Oh, I'd love some company.

Super. Let's go.

Oh, and a real pleasure meeting you, Phil. Oh, hi.

Bye. See you. Bye. All right.

Have a nice time. Well, that Alan seems like a very nice young man.

Oh, yeah. There don't come no nicer than him.

That's why we love having him staying here. Right, Weas?

Oh, he lives here.

Yeah. His parents live upstairs.

See, but Alice follows away fighting with him, and Alice decides to split.

So I stepped in and suggested he move in with us until he patched things up.

Well, George, that shows a lot of understanding on your part.

Oh, there's nobody more understanding than me.

Well, I'm certainly glad that I came over to see you. We're going to put your

name into a vote at the meeting this Tuesday.

You know, I shouldn't be telling you this, but in my opinion, you have

everything that we're looking for.

I think that we'll be seeing a lot of each other. Great.

And I have a hunch that Debbie's going to be seeing a lot of Alan, too.

Yeah,

they seem to hit it off real well.

Well, I'll be seeing you, George. Bye, Louise. Bye -bye.

I did it.

What?

Yeah? Give me some champagne.

Wheezy. You believe it? I'm going to be on the board of directors.

Now, George is not final.

But you heard what the man said.

He said everything's in my favor, including Alan.

Boy, that kid sure does have a way with the women, don't he?

Well, maybe now that Alan's helped you out, you'll stop calling him Zebra.

Yeah, well... Oh,

no. I forgot about that.

What's wrong?

I just set that two -toned turkey up with Taylor's all -white daughter.

For what reason? Look, Alan is 50 % black and 50 % white, which adds up to

trouble for me when Taylor finds out.

Damn, there goes my board of directors.

Here's your champagne.

I don't want no champagne. Get rid of it.

You're the boss.

I can't relax as long as Alan's out with Taylor's daughter.

Ah!

What's the matter?

I just found Alan's needle.

Well, I'm going upstairs to see if Tom and Helen are home yet.

My only chance of getting on that board of directors now is keeping Taylor from

finding out about Alan until after Tuesday's meeting.

George, I think you're wrong about Mr. Taylor. He doesn't seem like a bigot.

We're not talking about bigots. We're talking about zebras.

I just hope Alan ain't showed his two stripes to Debbie yet.

Hut, two, three, four, company.

Alt.

Where on earth did you get that?

We got it at the craft fair. Isn't it trippy?

Hey, Alan. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm on my way up to see your parents.

Oh, Alan, I'd love to meet them. Oh, no, you wouldn't.

Well, there's plenty of time for that. First, I want to hear all about your

afternoon. Go on in the kitchen, Alan.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. I want to speak to Alan alone.

Why?

Well, I want you to make Debbie one of your special protein drinks.

You'll love it.

Be right back.

Well, how'd your afternoon go with Debbie?

Fine.

Four hours, huh? Boy, that's a lot of time to spend with somebody.

You two must have done a lot of talking, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

Do you want one of these? No, I hate health drinks. They make me sick.

Did you find out much about her?

Well, yeah.

Did she find out much about you?

What is this, 20 questions?

Hey, look, I just want to know about your friends, that's all.

I'm like with most people you can tell all about them the minute you see them.

Like if a guy walked in here right now with feathers in his hair and paint all

over his face, you'd know right away he was an Indian.

Or a rock star.

Or Steve Martin.

Okay, okay.

For example, take you.

A lot of people wouldn't know what you were unless you told them.

That I'm Taurus the Bull?

No, no, that you're Alan Aziz. You know.

I mean that you're black and white.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Nobody would know that unless I told them.

Did you tell Debbie?

It never even occurred to me.

But if you think it might make a difference to her, I'll tell her right

Hold it!

Oh, thanks.

I thought you didn't like that.

Well, it just looks so good.

I'll take Debbie Hudrick. You make another one for yourself, okay?

Debbie.

Nice meeting you.

Stop in and see us again sometime.

Yeah, I know. He decided to make dinner for Wheezy and me.

Huh? Yeah, a whole great big 20 -pound roast. He'll be in the kitchen for

Well, should I at least say goodbye?

Okay, goodbye.

I don't understand.

Is Alan trying to get rid of me? Well, no, it's just that I, I mean, uh, he

doesn't want to upset your father.

Daddy? But what does Daddy have to do with this?

Everything. Look, believe me, Alan just feels that you two ain't ready for each

other.

Live and learn.

Well, there are a lot more efficiency.

Sure there are.

Bye. Goodbye.

Where's Debbie?

She split.

Split? Why?

Who knows what chicks do these days?

Well, didn't she even say anything?

Yeah, she said goodbye.

Just like that?

Yeah.

There's a lot more fish on the beach.

What's the matter about Debbie running out like that?

Well, you win some, you lose some.

Most of mine get rained out.

Well, your parents still aren't home yet.

I guess I'll get to work on your market, Miss Florence.

Mr. Taylor, what a surprise.

Now, now, it's Phil. Is George home?

Florence, would you tell Mr. Jefferson Phil's here? Sure.

Mr. Jefferson Phil's here!

Come in and sit down.

Thank you, thank you.

We weren't expecting to see you so soon. I hope nothing's wrong.

No, no, no. I just thought I'd stop by and ask George a few questions.

Hey, Phil, how's it going?

Oh, fine, fine.

Listen, could we talk?

Sure, Phil.

Lawrence, they want to talk.

Well, I ain't gonna interrupt.

Come with me.

What's on your mind, Phil?

Well, George...

Debbie tells me that you don't want her to see Alan anymore.

Did I say that?

She said it had something to do with me.

Oh, yeah, well, in a way it does.

George, if there's one thing we believe in down at the bank, it's in being

straightforward.

Yeah, well, sometimes people ain't always what they seem.

Like if I was a friend of yours and there was something about you that you

didn't tell me about, well, it would change my opinion.

George, are you trying to tell me somebody's hiding something?

Exactly. And it isn't Debbie.

Right.

All right, Jefferson.

If you are talking about those embezzled securities that turned up in my Swiss

account, the grand jury said that I was innocent.

No, I wasn't talking about no embezzled securities.

No, I... then it was the phony insurance scheme. I wasn't

talking about that either.

Then what the hell are you talking about?

Look, I'm talking about blacks and whites.

There are some people who believe that they shouldn't be together.

Oh, and you were afraid that I might be prejudiced. Oh, well, George, you could

put that thought out of your mind.

No, no, we're all the same underneath.

Then you don't mind blacks and whites be a mix? My, no, I think it's about time

we got the two together, don't you?

Hey,

it's only okay.

It's going to be an honor being on the board of directors with you. Oh, well,

thank you.

Now that you think I'm okay, then Debbie and Alan can go out again?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Before you throw us out again, could we see Louise?

Tom! Helen!

Oh, we want to show her this clock we bought at the antique sale. But we'll

back later. Later? Are you kidding? Come in, come in, come in, come in.

Bill Taylor.

These are my two good friends, Tom and Helen Willis.

Don't they make our heads some couple?

Did I hear the... I don't believe it. Ain't this a nice surprise?

Well, it sure is.

Now that we're all here, how about a drink?

I'll get some ice.

Oh, look at this cloth we bought, Louise.

Oh, it's beautiful. My, what a lovely old... face. It's wrinkled, but has a

of character.

Yes, I bought it because it reminded me of Helen's mother.

Your mother has a clock just like that.

Hi, Phil.

Oh, hi, Ellen. Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey.

Hello, son.

Hi, Dad.

These are your parents?

Yes. Well, haven't you met?

Well, yes, but George didn't tell me this was your father and stepmother.

I'm not Alan's stepmother.

Oh, I see.

Well, I think adoption is wonderful.

No, no, no, you don't understand, Mr. Taylor. Alan's not adopted.

No kidding.

No kidding.

Well, excuse me for a moment. I'll see if I can help George with the ice.

It's, uh, George, about Alan's parents.

Yeah, I know. Ain't they a great couple? Oh, yeah, they're great, great. But

about Alan and Debbie?

Yeah, they're a great couple, too. Hey, look, we've got to get those two back

together. Actually, George, I think that we ought to let well enough alone. I

mean, I really don't think that Debbie and Alan are right for each other.

You don't? No.

Neither do I.

Oh, good. Wait, wait a minute.

Oh, that's why you didn't want Debbie to go out with Alan. You knew about

Alan's parents.

I didn't think you'd want your daughter hanging around with Alan.

Yeah. I know what it's like. My own son is married to a zebra.

A zebra?

There you go.

Half black and half white. No kidding.

Yeah, but there ain't no problem with her because her white don't show

Well, George, I certainly appreciate what you tried to do for me.

Eh, no problem, old buddy.

You know, it's a good thing I found out before Debbie did. You know how kids are

these days. If I told Debbie I didn't want her going out with Alan because

black, she'd keep going out with him just to spike me, right?

What do you mean because Alan's black?

Well, his mother's black.

I know, but the bad part is his father is white.

You know what I mean. I mean, if Debbie and Alan kept going together and someday

they got married, see, they could have a black baby.

And what's wrong with a black baby?

Well, nothing.

If you are black.

See, if your son had a kid and it was black, that's fine.

And if it was white?

Well, if it's white, you're a few points ahead.

But if my daughter had a black baby... Oh, you're trying to tell me that your

daughter is too good to have a black baby.

George, look, I'm as liberal as anybody, but there are limits.

Like what, honky?

We tailors are a very old and prominent fa... What did you call me?

I called you a honky.

A two -faced honky who's too dumb to realize that black is beautiful. I think

I'd better leave.

Wait a minute, tailor.

leaving. I'm throwing you out.

Come on, George.

This cocky just showed his true color.

Hey, don't listen to him, Phil.

Mr. Taylor to you, boy.

Who are you calling boy?

Right on, baby.

Let me handle this, Willis.

Look, chump.

Alan won't be seeing your daughter no more. Not because the way you want it,

that's because the way I want it.

He's too good to get mixed up in your jive, blue -blooded family. Now, get

It's fine, Jefferson, but you can forget about getting on our board, or any

other board, for that matter, except for the ironing board of that lousy laundry

of yours.

Oh, this guy's hot under the collar, huh?

Maybe I should cool him off.

noble person i knew deep down inside you really liked alan yeah thanks mr

jefferson for standing up for me like that look now don't get no ideas i'll

stand up for part of you the black well that's still better

than nothing give me some skin

videotaped in front of a studio audience.