Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. We're moving on up.

involves so much work.

Yeah, there's enough paper here to housebreak an elephant.

Hey, Weed. Oh, hi, George.

Hey, George.

Don't call me George.

Why, did you change your name?

What I like to change is your address.

When are you going to make up with your father so he can move back upstairs?

Look, I love my father, but sometimes it's hard to live with someone you love.

It sure is.

If I'm in the way... George, let Alan work things out his own way. Meanwhile,

can stay here as long as he wants.

Well, does he have to stay here all day? Can't he at least go out and get a job?

Alan's been working day and night. He's been organizing the help center move to

the new building.

Well, if he's so good at moving, how come he's still living here?

George!

Blunt! You'll have to yell louder than that. She's out. Out? What about lunch?

She made some sandwiches before she left.

Sandwiches? How come every time Florence fixes something, she's got to hide it

between two slices of bread?

George, will you stop complaining?

The last time we had a hot meal was when that candle fell in the jello.

You're really in a bad mood today.

Of course I'm in a bad mood. I'm worried about locking up that Simpson account

this afternoon.

I'll get it.

You sure get uptight about money.

So would you, if you had to earn it.

Come in.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Alan, honey.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

What's that? We have to move out of the old help center building by the end of

this week.

Andrews has a new tenant moving in.

What? He told us we could take our time.

Well, now he's telling us to take a walk.

Well, did you tell him it would take us four weeks to get a health permit?

Yes. What did he say? He said tough.

Maybe we can get that permit sooner. Oh, forget it. I already went to every

department in City Hall to try to speed things up.

Well, couldn't they make an exception?

At City Hall, they don't make exceptions. They just make coffee.

What? That's the way bureaucracy works.

Not if you know the ropes or don't.

You mean you can beat the system?

See, that's the difference between you and me. You say beat the system. I say

use the system. Use the system. That's right.

I think I got to be the man I am today.

Poor diet.

George, are you saying that you can get that health permit sooner? Look, all I'm

saying is don't send a boy to do a man's job.

I suppose you could do better. You're damn right I can. In fact, I'm going

downtown this afternoon to lock up that Simpson account.

And on my way back home, I will stop past City Hall and pick up your permit.

Do you really think you can do that, George?

No way.

Of course I can.

I'll just use my personality and my know -how.

Why don't you just stick to your know -how?

I'm telling you, George, I even called the head man down there, a dude named

Mayflower, and he said they don't... Hold it! Did you say Mayflower?

Yeah, why?

What's his first name?

Uh, Cornelius... Cornelius. Yeah, that's it.

Cornelius X. Mayflower.

Cornelius X.

Mayflower? This is gonna be easier than I thought.

Why? Do you know him?

Uh, no, but, uh, you figure a guy with a funny name like that's got to be a

pushover.

Your troubles are over. I'll get that permit for you. Now, that'll be great,

George. Oh, good luck, George. Yeah, good luck, George.

Can't you call me Mr. Jefferson?

You get us that health permit, I'll call you anything you want.

Good. Call me from Alaska.

Guess who?

Must not be eating your own cook. Oh, come on.

What you up to these days?

Well, I own a chain of cleaning stores.

Jefferson Cleaners. You own Jefferson Cleaners? That's right.

The Jefferson Cleaners? Yep. Never heard of them.

I know. I can tell by your suit.

George, what brings you down here? Well, I just locked up this big deal down the

street. And I was just wondering... No, no, no, but how'd you know where to find

me? Oh, well, see, my wife was trying to get a health permit from your office.

Your wife?

Yeah. You mean you found somebody who'd marry you?

Look who's talking. In the Navy, the only letters you got was from dumb, dumb

darts.

Whatever happened to that loser anyway?

I married her.

Yeah,

she had a great sense of humor. Always pretending to be dumb.

How's she doing?

I divorced her ten years ago.

Good. You better off without that dummy.

Oh, look here. You say your wife needs a health permit.

Yeah, well, see, um, the health center she's working in is moving into a new

building. So I was just wondering if you could, uh... If I could cut through all

the red tape, huh?

Well, yeah. Ain't no problem.

Take care of it for you right now. Hey, thank you, Courtney.

Man, Corny, seeing you after all these years sure brings back a lot of

Yeah, here we are.

George, do you remember the crazy things we used to do on that ship?

Yeah, you mean like the time you put those two gallons of bourbon into the

pancake, sir?

Half the ship got drunk.

And then the lieutenant got wise and said, what we did? And you said,

sir.

The men must be seasick.

Which was a dumb thing to say.

What was so dumb about it? Well, how are the men going to be seasick and we was

in dry dock?

Lord,

Evers. Remember that petty officer Larkin?

Yeah, that hunky.

Used to make us scrub down the deck with our toothbrushes.

I got him good.

Did you get him, Joe?

Yeah.

to visit his wife in Tokyo, you know. So I had some flowers sent to his room,

and on the card I put, Dear Stephen, you are the greatest.

Love, Doreen.

But that ain't so bad.

His wife's name is Nancy. Look out!

Here's your wife's permanent job.

Thanks, buddy. Boy, I knew I could count on you.

You know, I almost forgot about all your practical jokes.

I bet you must have got everybody on that ship.

Except me. Oh, yeah? I tried to get you once. Really?

Mm -hmm. The day I shipped out, I hid a wig and a dress in your locker.

You did?

Huh?

I figured you'd get a big kick out of it once you found them. I didn't find

them. You didn't find them? No, the captain did.

The captain?

Yeah, he pulled a surprise inspection the day after you shipped out.

funniest thing I ever heard about.

Oh, it was real funny.

Everybody on the ship was calling me Mayflower the Gayflower.

One sucker even sent me a corsage. Oh, that's great. I wish I could have

been there.

Well, you could have helped me explain to the ship's psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist? Yes, he thought I liked to wear women's clothes.

What a drag.

I mean, a shame.

I even lost the promotion because of it. Oh, no!

And it ain't funny, Jefferson.

Hey, corny man. Don't hate corny me, man.

Man, it was just a joke.

It was a bad joke.

You sawed -off runt.

What do you call a sawed -off runt? Well, ain't nobody here but you, sucker.

I ain't got to take that from you.

That's right.

You ain't got to take nothing from me, including the permit.

Big deal.

You're the last person on earth I take a favor from. Solid, because I'm the last

person you'd ever get one from.

Look, I ain't got to come for you for that permit. I'll go over your head.

Sucker, you couldn't get over my head if you were standing on a ladder.

Oh, no, you ain't nothing but a two -bit pencil pusher. Pencil pusher?

That does it.

Now, what you say to that?

I say, who cares?

Well, I hope your wife feels the same way, George, because it'll be a safe

in Central Park before she ever gets a permit from this office.

Now, get out!

Hey, Weez.

Oh, there you are.

Well?

Huh? Oh, yeah, Weez, your kisses are just as dynamite as ever.

Did you get it?

Did I get it? Did somebody tell a joke or something?

The permit. Did you get the permit?

Oh, that.

Don't tell me the big wheel never got rolling.

What went wrong?

Nothing went wrong. Just a lot of pieces had to be put together.

Did you talk to Mr. Mayflower?

Yes, I did. But we still have to wait four weeks, right?

No, you don't have to wait four weeks.

Oh, George, you got it. Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's terrific.

Oh, come on, Alan. We've got lots to do. Wait a minute.

Is something wrong?

No.

George, I know when something's bothering you.

Okay, how would you feel if a deal that you really...

Dependent on fell through.

You don't mean you... It wasn't my fault.

Oh, no, you didn't get the Simpson account.

Huh? That new account meant so much to you.

But we... I know how you must feel.

If we didn't get that permit, I don't know what I'd do.

Eat up.

By the way, where's the permit?

Oh.

Oh, yeah, I left it downstairs in the store.

Oh. I'll go down and get it. I'll go down and get it.

Oh, George, you're wonderful.

And Alan didn't think you could do it.

Yeah, I guess I was wrong. Yeah.

And don't take it so hard about that Simpson account.

At least you came through with the permit.

That's right. Just think, there are hundreds of people out there depending

the help center.

Hundreds? Thousands.

And they can look you in the face and say, he's the guy who did it.

Hey, Mr. Jefferson.

How's it going?

Give me a double.

Trouble at work? No, trouble at home.

Uh -oh.

I better make that a triple, huh?

Hello, Mr. J.

Care for some company?

No. Thank you.

Imbibing? No, just drinking.

You seem a bit troubled.

Would you like to unburden yourself?

Yeah. Bye, Bentley.

Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Jefferson.

He's right, you know. Sometimes it kind of helps to get things off your chest.

Yeah, but it ain't no big thing.

Well, then it won't take long, will it?

Well, what would you do if you had to tell somebody something and you knew

you had to tell them was going to make them mad?

Oh, you mean that you're the harbinger of ill tidings?

No. I just got to tell we see some bad news.

Well, you know what they say.

Yes, honesty is the best policy.

No, no, no, no, no, no. What you don't know won't hurt you.

Mr.

J, you should face the music and be done with it. Yeah, maybe you're right.

But... Discretion is the better part of valor.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Yeah.

Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread.

Well, there's no safety in hiding.

Right. Better safe than sorry.

Au contraire. The truth will out.

And the truth hurts.

He who hesitates is lost.

Look before you leap.

Lies beget lies.

If you keep your mouth shut, you'll never put your foot in it.

Huh?

It's an old Russian proverb.

It means... Look, who cares what it means? I got an old black proverb.

When you hear two turkeys talking, it's time to be walking.

Thank you very much.

I just talked to the movers. Tomorrow we'll be in our new building.

Oh, Alan, you're a born organizer. We never could have made this move without

you. Oh, thanks.

But it was George. I mean, Mr. Jefferson who got us the permit. Let's not forget

that. Oh, don't worry. If I know George, he won't let us forget it.

Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the Jefferson apartment.

Oh, it is.

I'm Alan Willis.

Cornelius Mayflower.

Oh, Mr.

Mayflower. I'm Louise Jefferson. Won't you come in? Thank you.

Is your husband here?

No, but he should be home soon.

I suppose... I suppose he told you about the permit.

Yes, and I... Well, before you say anything, I just want to tell you that

done some thinking.

And, well, I've changed my mind about giving you the permit.

What?

What I did today was wrong.

I misused my authority.

You're in charge.

You can... Listen, a man in my position can't afford to have his personal likes

and dislikes influence his decisions. So I've decided to give you the permit.

Well, couldn't you bend the rules just this once? I'll help send...

Here's your permit.

And good luck.

But I thought you already gave the permit to George. I did.

But then we started arguing about our old Navy days, and, well, I tore it up.

Your old Navy days?

Then George didn't get the permit.

I'm afraid he didn't.

In fact, the whole thing has given me one headache.

Uh, can I have some water, please?

Oh, sure, right this way.

I'm really sorry, Mrs. Jefferson.

I guess I let old George get the best of me.

Well, when he gets home, he's going to get the worst of me.

Man, Mrs. Jefferson, I can't believe George would try to pull something like

that. That's because you've only lived here a week.

Hey, Weasley.

Oh, there you are.

Look, Weasley.

I know you thought I was upset because I didn't get the Simpson account.

Yes.

Well, I wasn't telling the truth.

Oh? Then what is the truth?

Well, the truth is... I did get the Simpson account!

George,

is there anything else you want to tell me?

Anything else?

Oh, yeah, I might be getting the Peabody restaurant account, too.

Do you have the permit?

The permit?

Well, uh, look, Weezy.

About the permit, we know all about it, George.

You do?

Yes. Mr. Mayflower told us.

Mayflower told you? Well, that's no good job turkey.

I bet you said it was all my fault too, huh? That fat -headed pencil pusher.

Now I know why I waited 27 years to see him again.

Can you imagine him getting mad just because I hid a wig and a dress in his

locker? Knowing that, turkey probably got mad because the dress didn't fit.

That dude always has been strange.

Mr. Jefferson. You stay out of this. And if I ever see Mayflower again...

Mayflower! What the hell are you doing here?

I came over to straighten things out.

But I see I was just wasting my time.

Mr. Mayflower.

Last time I'd do a favor for a fool.

Fool? You ain't done no favor for me, chump. I brought your wife her permit.

you owe me one, Jefferson.

I don't owe you nothing.

We don't need nothing from him.

Jefferson, you are a jackass. Jackass? Look, you know, I done hit dudes for

than that. Where? In the kneecap?

Let's go.

Fun for me, look. I can beat you one head time by my

back, Trump. I'm gonna knock so many teeth loose, you're gonna think there's

crap game going on in your head. Oh, yeah?

Uh -huh. Just like you did to them Marines in Hong Kong. I had to drag you

of there before they killed you. Sucker, how you gonna drag me out of anywhere?

You was...

under the table.

Me? Hide and seek.

Ain't a Marine been born to scare George Jefferson? Come on.

Wait a minute.

Now, are you talking about U .S. Marines?

You're damn right we are.

Well, why were you fighting with them?

Where'd he come from?

Sailors always fight Marines.

It's tradition.

That's right.

Well, that sounds like a pretty dumb tradition, huh, Mrs. Jefferson?

What do you know? You ain't never even been in the service.

Well, if I had been in the service, I'd have done things a lot different than

you two.

That's because you are different.

You don't know what it is like to be in the service and be black.

You don't know what it's like being nowhere and being black.

Mr. Mayflower, Alan is black.

Say what?

Well, his mother's a sister, but his father ain't no brother.

What are them zebras?

Oh, it couldn't have been that bad being black and in the service, sir, could

it, Mrs. Jefferson?

Oh, no.

I think they're exaggerating. I don't believe any of George's Navy stories

anyway. Are you crazy, Wheezy? You should have heard some of the things

hockey officers used to say to us.

Oh, like the one about tracing your family tree back to when your ancestors

swinging in it? Say it coolly.

Don't mind him.

He thinks plaid is beautiful.

Remember that time that honky said he wanted to meet your sister? Yeah. And I

let him meet my fist instead?

You put it on him. Well, you was my buddy, right? What you mean was?

Well, we still buddies, ain't we? Don't drink on it. All right.

Mr. Mayflower, about that permit.

Don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Jefferson.

Have it for you tomorrow.

It was great the way you handled that, Alan. Yeah, but we were lucky.

Mr. Jefferson has one good quality.

Black pride.

Right on.

Say, George, do you remember that weekend you and me spent in Singapore?

Uh -huh. And we got so drunk, them two girls had to help us back to the hotel.

Ha -ha!

You never told me about that, George.

He didn't.

We had a ball.

Dig yourself, Gordon.

A whole weekend in Singapore, huh?

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday continued.

Two girls took you home. All the way.

Two nurses. Me and Courtney wasn't feeling too good, right? We were feeling

great!

Great!

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.