Original subtitles

Move it on up! Move it on up!

To...

Isn't there something we can do?

Look, just be calm, Weezy. He'll be gone soon. It'll be all over.

But you read about people being robbed and killed all the time.

Don't worry about it, Weezy. I'm not going to let you get killed.

You are scared too, aren't you?

Well, I just hope it ain't true that you turned white with fear.

You never think that something like this will happen to you.

anyway we can't just sit here we can't look let's start sliding your chair

around so we can get them back to back then what then we'll untie the ropes to

make a run for it i'm afraid we gotta make a walk for it i'm in no condition

run you know

This may be a dumb thing to say, but it's nice to hold hands again.

Maybe we should do this more often.

Well, George, I love it when you're like this.

Instead of being grouchy and unreasonable.

Unreasonable? When have I been unreasonable?

When? So many times.

I can't even begin to count how many. Tell me one. Just one.

How about the time...

Poor Edith Bunker thought Archie was gone for good. You just keep making

jokes about him.

I never joke about Archie Bunker.

Yes, you did.

Why do you keep sticking up for that honky?

You hear the way he's always fat -mouthing us? The only thing worse than

insults is his compliments.

Say there, Jefferson there, you know why you people got such natural rhythm from

being grown up with all them tom -toms?

about just cause we black, we can't get enough sex.

We both know that's bull, don't we, George?

You better lighten up, Louise.

But you do have rhythm. One out of two ain't bad.

Now you're going too far.

You hear that, Louise?

Too far.

Don't you slam my table. What?

That's right.

When you can't think of anything to yell about, you run to your favorite hiding

place.

Where are you going?

Someplace where I can think.

I love your legs.

Why don't you sit down and let's talk this over rationally. Good idea.

making a big fuss over nothing.

When did I make a big fuss over nothing?

Valentine's Day, when I didn't bring you nothing.

Then you let them old crazy willies use their encounter techniques on us.

It worked, didn't it?

Okay, now what?

Well, just relax.

Why don't you start, Louise?

Just mention whatever comes to mind.

What am I supposed to do?

You answer her with the first thing that comes to your mind, without thinking.

Just like you always do, George.

Okay.

Go.

Okay. Uh, hot, cold, sweet, sour, good. Me.

Me? How did you come by me?

Because it's good of me to sit through this junk.

That's all right, Louise.

If that's the first thing that came to his mind, that's what he should say. Go

on.

Uh, high.

Taxes. Low.

Interest. Money.

Trucks. Hold it.

I know I'm not supposed to interrupt, but what does a truck have to do with

money? Plenty. Truck goes by a curb, splashes mud on suit, suit goes to

cleaners, I make money.

you two. The whole purpose of this thing is to dig into your relationship.

Yes, you must be much more personal.

Now, just forget that we're here. I wish I could.

Now, listen, you little... It was the first thing that popped in my mind.

Start again. And this time, make it personal.

Marriage. Ring.

Sex. Seven.

I said sex.

Oh, I thought you said six.

Like this.

whole point. You see?

You've gotten rid of that anger. Now you can speak freely and easily and clear

up any problem, no matter how big, without fighting.

Good. Is this what they do at those meetings?

Well, sometimes.

Well, me and Weasley ain't got to go then.

When we get uptight, we just beat each other's brains out.

That's not fair, because Louise will always finish first.

Well, I guess we can go now. May we have our patacas back?

But wait a minute.

I got one little teeny piece that I ain't going to get rid of yet.

That would be a miracle. Okay.

Stay right there a minute.

I wish

I had a club right now to hit that crook with. What's he doing out

there anyway, messing up the place?

Don't worry about that. Florence will help me straighten it up.

Hey, remember when we first hired Florence?

But there's just one thing.

Do you folks mind if I ask you something?

No, go right ahead.

You live in this apartment, right?

Uh -huh. And you got an apartment in this building, too?

Yes, that's right.

Anyway, I'm glad I loaned Florence my earrings tonight. At least they won't

stolen. Yeah, I wish she was wearing a TV set.

Somebody's at the door.

Oh, thank God. Maybe we're saved.

With our luck, it's probably the Avon lady calling.

Okay, we looks like we got to do it all by ourselves. Let's work on these ropes.

It's no use.

They won't budge.

Four years in the Navy, learning how to tie knots.

How come they didn't teach me how to untie?

I don't like to think about your Navy days.

That was the longest we've ever been apart.

Well, I didn't think of the good part when I came home on leave.

Yeah, just you and me.

We sure did a lot of walking in the park.

And a lot of resting in the bushes.

Sometimes I think a hot dog at Coney Island was more fun than the fancy

restaurants we go to now.

Don't be silly, Weezy. Being rich is much more fun.

You don't like remembering when you were poor, do you, George?

That's why you have those nightmares any time something goes wrong.

Well, now that that's all cleared up, don't you feel better now? No.

Because that was a good part of the dream.

I kept slipping down that ladder, and then all of a sudden, I was in the

Did you have a token, or did you sneak in under the turnstile?

Fell in through the roof, right into the middle of the A train.

And it was full of zebras.

I mean, there were zebras everywhere, snorting and stomping and chewing and

messing up the place. Weezy ain't nothing uglier than an A train full of

I'm not going to explain that one to you, George.

When I had the first stop, I got off and I ran onto the up escalator.

Only it was going down. Somebody switched sides on me. Because right next

was a down escalator with a bottle of champagne with a white label on it. And

the bottle was going up, up, up. And I was going down, down, down.

And at the bottom, you ain't going to believe this, weasel.

At the bottom was all of these cockroaches yelling and waving, welcome

George.

down the street and everybody was the same color.

It was terrible.

Why?

Because I couldn't tell the white blacks from the black blacks.

Oh, George.

Wait, that's just the beginning.

And suddenly everybody started chasing me. And I ran and ran until I got to

Monticello in the midst of this great big party. And Thomas Jefferson was

playing the violin.

Well, what's so bad about that?

He was using me as the bow.

He was scraping me back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Did you sound good?

Terrible. Only thing we could play was Dixie.

Go to sleep, George.

Okay. What are you doing?

This time you're going with me.

You know, when you got it as good as we do, you don't like to think bad because

you're afraid it's going to hurt.

But it don't hurt at all. I mean, now, we got a lot to think back on, don't we?

Yeah, even the bad times seem good at a time like this.

Even old Archie Bunker would look good to me now.

Remember when we moved in next door to him?

You know, it's just crossing my mind.

Remember old man McNabb? Yeah. Used to live down the street there. Remember the

time that he was going to sell his place to them Jews? Oh.

And you come around with that petition to all the rest of us to sign. Remember,

keep them out?

We all signed, huh?

Yeah.

You really saved the block that time, Jim. Well, you know me.

So, I mean, you wouldn't then turn around and do what McNabb was trying to

would you? You mean sell to Jews? Yeah. Oh, no.

These people are Baptists.

Oh, that's nice, Jim.

talked with the telephone company, and they're putting my phone in today.

Now, I really believe the house is mine.

Oh, hi, neighbor.

Thank you. My, you got

here early.

Well, I wanted to get right to work.

Oh, by the way... Would it be too much trouble to borrow pale from you? I

to bring one. Oh, sure. Oh, you got your work cut out for you. I don't think

that house has been cleaned since his wife died three years ago.

And way before that. Bowman and his wife was always slobs to both of them.

Oh, gee. I'll get the pale.

Thank you.

up in there, would you?

Well, uh, how'd you like the Julia show last night?

Fine. How did you like Dara's day?

You're in.

No, I ain't. I'm out.

If you got my stoop, that's the same as being in my house. Stoops don't count.

Stoops are... Always counts.

Don't turn your back on me. Oh, there you are.

Now you're in. You're in for sure.

So finally the great Jepson, who always required to cross my threshold, is into

the house.

All duded up in a flower in his lapel there.

Or is that one of them things that's squinting at Ron? No, it's me.

I wear a fresh one every day.

Ah, you don't blow money on a fresh flower every day.

No, I steal one every day from a blind.

George, they don't know you here. He's joking.

Louise.

I'll tell them when I'm joking.

I was joking.

Oh, gee, are you in bed yet?

No, I'm not yet, Edith. I'm looking out the window.

You know, the Jeffersons left their shades out.

Did you know they was putting the wallpaper on the wall of their bedroom?

Holy God, I'm calling to Wild About Strike.

Something else, wasn't it?

Yeah, but I still miss Edith. She was so upset when we moved out of the

neighborhood.

Please, I bought you some fruit for your trip.

We're only going to Manhattan.

Well, subways break down sometimes.

Well, Edith, I guess this is really goodbye.

I know.

Well, I'll just say so long.

So long, Edith.

Louise, did I ever tell you I love

you?

Every minute we've spent together.

You'd better go now.

Before the both of us get awful wet.

Bye, Louise.

I mean, so long.

Don't look at me. You still haven't finished packing yet?

Just one more thing. Your coffee mug.

I won't be drinking out of mugs no more.

From now on, it's cups and sauces all the way. Come on, Weezy, limousines.

Limousines?

Have you gone crazy?

What do we need a limousine for? Because we're going to leave Bunkersville in

style.

Come on, Weezy.

Things are looking good for us. Look, you deserve the best.

And that's exactly what you're going to get.

The best.

Okay?

Here.

I wish that chump out there would move to a new neighborhood.

Oh, I just thought of something awful.

Worse than him?

Yeah.

What will happen if he wants to go to the bathroom?

I wish you hadn't said that.

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