Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up to the...

Apple pie is delicious.

Florence really outdid herself.

Florence didn't bake it. I did.

Oh. Well, it's still delicious.

Thank you.

Except for the hard crust.

Do you mind if I do the carpet now, Miss Jefferson?

Oh, no. Go right ahead.

That pie sure came out nice, didn't it? Yes, it did.

You ought to try it then when you get the tan.

Okay.

But, Florence, what about the carpet?

Yeah, looks pretty scrunchy, don't it?

Four, please.

Oh. Oh, no, Louise.

She spilled the salt.

Oh, don't worry, Mother Jefferson. There's plenty left for your Bloody

Don't tell me you're superstitious.

Oh, only about a couple of things.

Really?

Well, don't look at me like that. Everybody's superstitious about

I'm not.

Louise, you must be a little superstitious.

Don't black cats make you nervous?

Not unless they're six feet tall with stockings over their heads.

I think you're putting us on, Louise.

You're not superstitious about anything?

No.

Well, there's one itsy -bitsy thing, but it's hardly worth mentioning.

Uh -huh, come on, tell us.

Oh, it's just an old dried -out thing I keep in the closet.

Why don't you dress it, dear?

No, it's sort of a good luck token.

Like what?

I wore it when George and I got married.

It brought me luck.

I knew something was working against me.

Oh, Louise, I want to see it.

Yeah, me too.

Well, okay.

George couldn't afford it, but he bought it anyway.

Back then, he was just a poor man struggling to make a buck.

And now, look at him. Now he's a rich man struggling to make a buck.

Here it is. I haven't looked at it for years.

The Wonder Book of Knowledge.

You wore this on your wedding day?

Not the book. It's what I've got pressed inside.

My wedding corsage. An orchid that George bought me.

Lots of women save their wedding corsages. What's so superstitious about

Well, this may sound silly, but I've always had this crazy idea that if

ever happened to that orchid, if I should ever lose it, my marriage would

up.

Sounds dumb, doesn't it?

Yes.

Louise, that is the most irrational, illogical thing I've ever heard. I know,

but I can't help it.

Imagine letting the happiness of my marriage depend on an old, dried -out

corsage that isn't in here.

It's not in here. Oh, my God, it's missing.

It isn't in here. Please, calm down.

You calm down. Your marriage is not in trouble. And there's nothing wrong with

yours either.

Florence, is there any more pie?

I think I'll be going.

I can't find it.

Goodbye, Louise.

What am I going to do?

Please, get a hold of yourself.

Two seconds ago, you were saying it was just a silly superstition.

But that was before I knew the orchid was missing.

What am I going to do?

Don't worry, dear.

Just tell George that mother always has a room.

Waiting for him.

Louise, believe me, any marriage that can stand up to 26 years of George

Jefferson can certainly handle a lost catharsis.

Oh, Helen, I have this sinking feeling right here.

I just know something awful is going to happen. It's like something horrible is

waiting for me on the other side of that door.

at home. It's just Mr. Bentley.

Hello, Florence.

Ladies.

Oh, I say, is something wrong?

Well, Miss Jefferson is just a little upset.

Oh, nothing serious, I hope. No, it's all because of a ridiculous

Oh, come now, Mrs. J.

Superstition is sheer poppycock.

You hear that, Louise?

Although I do remember one time going out to a dinner party for 13 people that

turned out to be most unlucky.

Why? What happened? I got the check.

I should have looked sooner.

How could I lose my lucky collage?

Oh, you don't really believe in good luck charms, do you? You have to make

own luck. To this day, I don't understand why one would want to have a

foot. If one was a rabbit, one would.

Mrs. J., let me tell you about my Uncle Hubert.

Now, he deliberately defied the fates by smashing an enormous mirror in his

bedroom. Oh, no.

Now, that's seven years bad luck.

Not for Uncle Hubert.

Really? No, that very night he died of a heart attack.

Mr. Bentley, is there something you wanted?

Oh, yes. May I borrow an umbrella?

You see, I've mislaid mine, and it smells a little like rain.

It's a little tricky, so I'll just show you how to open it.

Oh, no!

Oh, you must never open an umbrella indoors.

The consequences could be disastrous.

Mr. Bentley, I thought you just said that superstition was poppycock.

That isn't superstition. It's a fact.

Well, toodaloo.

Oh, Helen, I've got this terrible feeling George is going to leave me.

just thought that, Louise.

Yeah, don't you know it's bad luck to cry on a dirty carpet?

I think I better go start dinner.

It's another woman. I know it is.

I bet you she's one of those size 7 sex pots that just comes sashaying into his

store every day.

You're crazy.

It's all in your head. That corsage could have been lost when you moved here

three years ago.

You mean he's been sneaking around with her for three years?

Now listen to me, Louise, and you listen good.

The only thing I've ever given George credit for is having the good taste to

love you.

Now if there's one thing I know, it's that that man is deeply in love with

Now, he may be a little inconsiderate at times, but underneath, he really loves

you.

Hey, we don't just stand there. We're to have dinner. I'm in a big hurry.

See what I mean?

He's crazy about you.

I better go. See you later.

Goodbye, George.

See, now, that's the way I like to hear talk, going out the door.

Oh, George.

Hey,

hold it. What's going on here?

Have you been reading Cosmopolitan again?

No, I'm just happy to see you. Did you have a nice date?

Yeah, great.

Especially my lunch date.

You had a date for lunch with who?

Fred Landers from the bank.

Oh, a man. Well, that's nice.

You bet it was nice. I got a big loan to open that new store I've been looking

at.

George, where's your tie?

Oh, Fred liked it, so I gave it to him. It was horrible looking anyway.

George, I gave you that tie for Christmas.

Well,

it came in handy, too.

How would you like it if I went to lunch and gave away your Christmas present?

Go ahead, Weasley. But you look kind of funny going to lunch wearing a

television set.

But, George, I want to... Now, look, Weasley, it was worth it to land that

loan. What happened to dinner?

Hey, Floss, I ain't got all night.

Let's get a move on with them can openers.

What's the rush, George?

I gotta see Lucinda tonight.

Lucinda? Yeah, Lucinda Adams, the woman I'm about to buy in the store from.

Oh.

You call her Lucinda?

Only when I talk to her.

Is she pretty?

Who?

Lucinda!

No, she ain't pretty.

Oh, sure.

I bet she's got long legs and...

Big blinking eyelashes and a little puckery mouth that goes... George, is

what she's got?

What?

A little puckery mouth that goes... What's gotten into you?

All right, so she's young and pretty. But that don't mean nothing to me.

I'm used to you.

Then tell me... Why, you've met with her four times this month.

They were business meetings.

I was right.

Our marriage is breaking up.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Do you really have to go out tonight?

Is it a matter of life and death?

Worse. It's a matter of dollars and cents.

Look, Weezy, I got the loan this afternoon. I'm going to get the store

and tomorrow I'll own the biggest cleaners in the village.

But, George...

Now, don't be hassling me. You know I need all my strength to cut Florence's

roast.

Will you just answer me one question?

What?

Do you love me?

Now, that is dumb. Of course I love you.

Then how come you never tell me? I'm telling you now.

I didn't hear you.

Okay, I love you, I love you, I love you.

You don't love me.

You know, Weezy, I think you finally flipped your lid.

All right.

Then just tell me how you feel about me now. Right now, this very minute.

Right now, this very minute? I think you're a pain in the butt.

Weezy.

Dinner is served.

Maybe for the last time.

What the hell's going on here? What's with Louise?

Oh, nothing much. She just thinks her marriage is on the rocks.

What makes her think something like that?

Because she lost her wedding corsage.

She can't find it, so she thinks her marriage is over. That is ridiculous.

Oh, yeah?

Where you going?

Out! Out!

I need to think, George. I want to be alone. Look, Louise, if you want to be

alone, why don't you be alone like you always are, right here with me?

No, George.

This pain in the butt is butting out.

Where can she be?

She's been gone for hours.

Well, look, I can't wait no more. I got to get to the meeting.

You leave now and you're going to lose your wife.

Look, now don't start that again. My marriage is not busting up. It's just

dumb, ridiculous superstition.

Look, when folks think something can happen, they can make it happen.

That don't work.

How do you know? Because I keep thinking you're going to shut up and you don't.

That's because I'm right.

What about Dumbo the flying elephant?

Dumbo? He wasn't married.

Oh, but when he thought he could fly, he flew.

Now, how do you explain that?

He bought a plane ticket.

No, he flapped his ears.

Okay,

but don't come crying to me when you're all alone, because I don't clean for

bachelors. You don't clean for married couples, neither.

You think you're so smart. You think you got answers for everything, don't you?

That's right, I do. Oh, yeah? Then where's your wife?

Are you sure the corsage ain't in the book? Look for yourself. It's over there

on the desk.

Shh. What does she care about some old flower for anyway?

I mean, she's still got the best thing from the wedding.

What's that?

Me!

Maybe it slipped out or something.

Where'd she get this book from?

The hall closet.

But Miss Jefferson already looked in there.

Hey!

I found it! I found it! You did?

My boxing shorts from the neighbor.

What's that?

Oh, that's my cup.

Oh, hi, Mr. Williams. Hello, Florence. Is Mr. Jefferson in? Yeah, he's in the

closet with his cup.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, hi, George.

Well, look, don't just stand there. Will you help me?

Oh, sure.

Oh, yes.

Hey, Florence, why don't you look in the bedroom closet?

Okay, but it's just a waste of time.

If you ask me, your marriage is... Run!

What do you want, Willis?

Helen told me about Louise.

We were pretty worried about her, so I came down to see if I could help.

Oh, you can help. You can help me look through these books.

Right.

How is Louise?

I don't know.

She went stopping out here hours ago. I don't know where she went.

Oh.

Um, may I ask something else?

What? What am I looking for?

Louise's crummy wedding corsage.

Oh.

Oh! You found it?

No. But when I was a little boy, this was my very favorite story.

The little engine that could.

Willis. Oh, it's here in this book of children's stories.

You see, this little railway engine was afraid he couldn't make it up this big,

deep hill.

So all the way up, he kept saying to himself...

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I don't want to hear that. But the

best part comes when the little engine gets near the top of the hill after all

that climbing.

You know what he did? He flapped his ears and flew away.

What? Oh, no. That was... That was Dumbo.

The little engine said... I know I can. I know I can. I know I can. Will you

shut up?

Don't you want to hear the end? I know the end!

You knew the story. Why didn't you stop me?

Well, it's not here.

Look, George, why don't you just get Louise another corsage? Because she

want another one. She wants the one she lost.

I know, George, but maybe you could make her believe it is the one she lost.

Well, if that's as honest.

And wonderful.

You're terrific.

Well, thank you, George.

Oh, touchy -feely time.

Lawrence, did you hear that? He likes me.

Well, that just puts you in a smaller minority than us, Mr. Willis.

No, it ain't gonna work.

We're not gonna find a dried -up corsage this time of night. Grower's Flower

Power. It's over at 59th Street and Lex. They're open till 9.

You can make it if you hurry.

Huh. Yeah, well, it's worth a try.

No, it ain't. Why not? Because I got a meeting at 9.

If I miss the meeting, I blow the whole deal.

And I'll lose my new store. What's more important to you, your money or your

marriage?

Look, Willis, I ain't got no time for no tough questions.

If you know what's good for you, Mr. Jefferson, you'll get that flower.

How am I going to do that?

First, I've got to find the flowers. Then I've got to pick out the right

Then I've got to go out and find the cab, which is harder than finding the

flower. Then I've got to drive all the way across town to my meeting and do all

that in ten minutes. That's impossible.

Wait a minute, George. I know how you can make it. How? All the time you're

there, just keep saying to yourself, I think I can, I think I can.

scared the shortcake out of me, Mr. Jefferson.

I didn't want to wake Weezer. What time did she get home? About an hour ago.

What took you so long? It's almost midnight.

I had to go all the way out to Queens to get this.

What happened to Growler's flower pot?

Closed. That's what I get for listening to her honking.

Anyway, I finally found this place out in Queens.

Then I had to pay the guy 25 bucks just to open the store, another 25 bucks to

rumble through the garbage and find an old dry corsage, and another 25 bucks

a pair of pants.

Yeah, these.

Well, what happened to your things?

I left them in the alley with the German shepherd.

What German shepherd? The German shepherd that was eating them up.

What was the German shepherd doing in the flower shop?

About 40 miles an hour around the turn.

Well, child, you sure look funny.

But do you want to hear this or not?

Yeah, go on with your story.

Well, there wasn't nothing in the garbage, so Kravis the floor said his

still had her own wedding corsage. So we woke her up and I bought it for her.

Mrs. Kravis actually sold you her one and only wedding corsage?

What on earth made her do that?

200 bucks.

Well, the important thing is that you got it. Yeah, but it cost me 275 bucks a

pair of pants at a brand new store.

I missed the business meeting.

I'm proud of you, Mr. Jeffries.

Yeah. Now, where's that book?

Let me see the call sign.

Hey, give me the thing. No.

You finally decided to come home, huh?

Wheezy, honey.

How are you feeling, my love?

Nothing. How's Lucinda?

I don't know. I didn't get a chance. I mean, I guess she's fine.

In fact, she is fine. She sends you her love.

Oh, boy. I'm so tired from all them business talks.

I think it's time to hit the sack. Come on, Weez.

Good night.

Good night.

George!

What happened to your pants?

My pants? Oh, don't worry about it, Weez. These ain't my pants.

Oh?

Then where are yours?

Some dog got them.

You left them with Lucinda?

Look, George, I've done a lot of thinking about us tonight.

My God!

Florence, what's wrong?

Look! Where?

There, on the carpet.

Termites. Termites? I don't see anything.

It's just the pattern in the carpet.

I never looked at it real close before.

Don't it look like termites to you?

No, it doesn't look like termites to me. And I've got more important things to

worry about right now. But see how the...

Florence!

Now, you listen to me, George. Yes, dear?

We are going to hack this out right now.

Look, Weasley, I know you're upset.

Florence told me all about you losing your corsage.

And you probably think I mean very stupid, right?

Wrong, wrong, wrong, Weasley. But I just can't see how it would disappear just

like that.

You should give it one more look.

It's gone, George. Come on, Weasley. Just one more look for me.

What'd I tell you?

That means you do love me. I don't just love you, Weasley. I'm crazy about you.

No.

George, what about Florence?

Oh.

No, we ain't kissing her. Let her get her own kiss.

Isn't it wonderful, Miss Jefferson?

Your corsage was there all along, snug as a bug in a book.

Can it, Florence.

This isn't my corsage. How do you know?

Because I kept my corsage in the Wonder Book of Knowledge, not in the little

engine that could.

Now, hold on, Miss Jefferson. You could have been mistaken.

Maybe, but I know my corsage never said, good luck, Irene, on it.

Are you going to tell him about it?

You know, Mr. Jefferson went to a lot of trouble getting that for you tonight.

He even missed out on his big business deal.

Don't worry.

Everything will be okay.

My superstition was pretty silly, but you know what was even sillier? Mr.

Jefferson and them baggy pants. No, me doubting, George.

Anytime he gives up a business deal to go chase around for an old flower...

That's true love.

Oh, and, uh, Florence, we'll be getting up quite late tomorrow morning.

Not good.

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.