Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up. Too deep down. Moving on up. To a deep.

What you got back there is one of a kind.

Thank you, George.

I think.

Bill,

Bill, Bill.

Any calls?

Well, I was out most of the day, but if Florence took any messages, they're

there by the phone.

Oh, here's a couple.

Important message. Don't forget to pay your hard -working maid the $50 bet you

lost to her last month.

Or you don't get no more messages.

I got a message for her. Florence! She's not here. I gave her the afternoon off

to go shopping.

You what?

Macy's is having a monster sale.

Huh. Maybe we'll get lucky and somebody will buy Florence.

I can't read this one.

Here, let me try.

How come Florence can only write good when she's asking for money?

It says, Mr.

Jefferson, Edie Stokes in town, Marquis Hotel.

Room 516, please call.

Edie Stokes, who's Edie Stokes?

That's what I'd like to know.

I don't know no Edie Stokes. Well, she knows you.

Give me that.

Who is she?

A stranger, that's who she is.

George, I want an answer.

I got it, it's Florence.

Florence? Look, Florence can't write and she can't spell neither.

She left out a D. It ain't Edie Stokes, it's Eddie Stokes.

Who's Eddie Stokes?

You know Eddie Stokes, my old Navy buddy.

How many times have I told you about him?

Never.

There's a lot about the Navy I never told you about.

I'll bet.

Me and Eddie did everything together. Shoot, he slept on top of me for two

years.

That must have been uncomfortable.

You know what I mean?

We were bunkmates.

Oh, Eddie used to love to play practical jokes on people. He was the master of

the gotcha.

What's a gotcha?

Well, for instance, Eddie used to rig up this bucket of water, you know, over

the barracks door, and the next dude that came in got a big shower.

That's a gotcha.

He even got me one, but I got him back, though.

Oh, Eddie got so drunk one night, and we took him down to this tattoo parlor and

had the name Myrtle tattooed on his arm.

Who's Myrtle?

Myrtle was the chief's wife.

Oh, Eddie had to wear long sleeves for two years.

That's a panic, George.

No, that's a gotcha.

Oh, you'd love him. What a guy.

Oh, where are you going?

I'm going out to the hotel. I'm going to surprise Eddie. I can't believe it. Oh,

Eddie is in town after 25 years. It's Jefferson and Stokes together again.

And just when New York was getting back on its feet.

that he stokes his room.

It is. It is?

Oh, are you his wife?

No. Oh, same old Eddie, huh? Where is he?

Oh, I got it. He don't want me to know he's here, so you're supposed to say he

ain't here, but he is here, isn't it?

Gotcha!

I'm already out of the closet, George.

I think I should explain.

Come on, man. Get out of that crazy outfit.

Let's go have a drink. You can start by taking off this dumb -looking wig. Ow!

It's real.

You got it. I'm not.

George, what I'm trying to say is... I've changed.

What are you trying to tell me? Are you a fairy?

Come on, say it. I can handle it.

No, George, I'm not gay.

Thank God.

I don't think I'm going to handle it.

use that drink look i don't mind the hair but the dress has got to go you get

out of that rented costume and i'll pick out a pair damn

eddie you went all the way with this joke didn't you you rented all this

just to fool me now where are your clothes those are my clothes oh hey

whatever you say what do you keep in here you present

Me and you used to be best friends, right?

We never had no secrets from each other. You could tell me anything, no matter

how bad it is. So tell me, are you one of those guys that like to dress up in

women's clothes?

Are you one of them, uh... Transvestites? Yeah, one of them.

No. Good, because I can't stand them weirdos.

But look, if you ain't gay and you ain't a weirdo, what are you?

I had the operation.

I had a sex change.

George, I'm a woman now.

Oh.

Oh, hey.

I'm not Eddie anymore. I'm Edie.

This ain't a gotcha?

This ain't a gotcha.

Why, Eddie? Why'd you do it? I wish you'd call me Edie. I can't.

Look, underneath all of that makeup and that dress, you still Eddie.

I know he's in there somewhere.

Look, you don't understand, George. I'm a woman.

Deep down inside, I've always been a woman.

Even in the Navy?

Even in the Navy.

Now you tell me. Have you let me undress in front of you for two years?

Now, George, this isn't something that happened overnight.

I went through years of analysis, but that didn't help.

As a man, I was miserable.

Everything about me was a woman except the way I looked, so I had the

Oh, Eddie, ma 'am, look what you've done to yourself.

Now, George, now, I understand where you're coming from.

It's hard for people to accept what I've done.

Most of my old friends couldn't, so now I have new friends.

I have a job I enjoy, a place of my own. I feel good about myself.

George, for the first time in my life, I'm really happy.

Yeah, I'm thrilled, too.

George, I have a confession to make.

What was that you just made?

Look, George, I wasn't even gonna call you.

I've been in New York six days. I'm flying home to Ohio tonight.

Took me all this time to get up the courage to call you.

My old buddy.

It's important to me that you at least understand.

I understand.

Oh, good.

Now, let's go have that drink you were talking about.

Look at the time.

I didn't know it was so late. I got an important meeting.

What kind of meeting can't wait for one drink between old friends? Oh, the

Alcoholics Anonymous.

Hey,

hold that elevator.

Yeah, George.

Take care of yourself.

Hi, Miss Jefferson.

Hello, Barnes. How was the sale?

Child, it was a madhouse.

Folks screaming and pushing and kicking.

Kicking? That's terrible.

Yeah, I almost broke my toe.

Where's Mr. Jefferson?

I'm really going to need that $50 he owes me now.

Oh, he's out with an old friend. You know, the one who called before.

Yeah, who is she anyway?

It's not a she, Florence.

It's Eddie Stokes, a friend of George's from the Navy.

Navy?

If Mr. Jefferson's friend was in the Navy, she was a wave.

Florence, that's impossible.

Why would George tell me he's going to a hotel to meet a man when he's really

going to meet a woman?

I better get to work.

I'll show you that you were wrong.

Why can't you admit that you just made a mistake?

I mean, a voice on the telephone can fool you. Lots of men have high voices.

Hello, I would like to know if you have a Mr. Eddie Stokes registered in room

516.

I'm not a sir, I'm a madam.

That's all right.

You see what I mean?

Yes?

You don't?

Are you sure? Because... Oh, I see.

Miss Edith Stokes.

so stupid?

Why that no good, miserable little, little... Runt?

Runt.

Oh, Florence, my little runt is out with another woman.

I'll kill him.

Now, wait a minute, Miss Jefferson.

I'm sure Mr. Jefferson's got a good explanation.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Even when he does nothing wrong, he's got a good explanation.

George, I didn't expect you home so soon.

Did you have a good time?

Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.

What are you looking at?

Nothing much.

Florence, I'd appreciate it if you put something in the kitchen for me. What?

Your mouth.

Where's Eddie? Why didn't you bring him home?

What? Oh, uh, he had to catch a plane tonight.

Oh, that's a pity.

I was looking forward to meeting your old bunkmate.

Well, you can't, because he's gone.

How is he? Who?

Eddie. Um, he's, uh, changed.

He's older?

Yeah, that too.

is this, following a leader?

I'd just like to hear more about Eddie.

Look, I went to the hotel to see my friend. I saw him, I said hello, then I

goodbye, then I left, okay?

George, I called the hotel, and the desk clerk told me there was an Edith Stokes

in room 516.

So stop lying to me, George.

Where were you tonight, and who were you with?

Okay, Weezy, if you really want to know the truth, I'll tell you.

My old buddy, Eddie, had a sex change operation.

Ooh -wee!

Now that's a good one, Mr. Jefferson.

That's the best one you ever told me.

Wheezy. Don't touch me, you no -good two -timer. Okay, I'll prove it to you.

Who are you calling? The hotel. I'm going to have Eddie come over here, and

can see with your own eyes that I... Hello? Oh, yeah, you can help me. Would

give me room 516, please?

You better be ready to apologize, Weezy.

Yeah, I'm here.

What?

When?

Thank you.

Eddie checked out five minutes ago.

Oh, that's okay, George.

I stopped believing you ten minutes ago.

Where you walk to now?

Another reunion?

His plane don't leave for another three hours. I'm going over to the hotel.

Maybe he's in the restaurant, in the bar, someplace.

I'll find him. If you don't, see if her room is still available.

For what?

Because if you come back alone, you're not sleeping in this house tonight.

You just wait right here, and I'll be back. And I'll be back with him. With

Him, her, it, whatever.

It's okay. Come on.

I still wish you'd got somebody else.

Look, I couldn't find anybody else.

All the girls at the store had gone home. And you were the only guy left who

didn't have a mustache.

Look,

I told my wife I'd be home with Eddie. I couldn't find Eddie, so you're it.

And besides, you said you wanted to be an actor.

Yeah, an actor.

Not an actress.

How do you think Flip Wilson got started?

you 50 bucks to do this. Which I ain't seen yet.

Now,

let's

go over this one more time. What's your name?

Leroy.

You're catching a plane home tonight to Ohio so you can only stay a few minutes.

You get it?

Yeah. Okay.

Now let's go.

It's long goodbye.

Oh, Eddie, I just love your outfit.

Why, thank you, Mrs. Jefferson.

You know, Eddie, George has told me so much about

you.

Did he tell you we were in the Navy together?

That's right. Me and old Eddie fought side by side all through the Korean War.

How interesting.

Tell me more, Eddie.

That's all I know.

That operation affected his memory, too.

Please. He's moving.

You'd better start moving too, George.

Say what?

Did you really think this cheap trick was going to fool me?

Nope.

I told you it wouldn't work. You don't want to... Hey,

hold on. Give me back my 50 bucks.

Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

This is the 50 dollars you owe me. Now we're even. Hey, wait a minute, Frost.

Come back here with my money. George!

This time you have gone too far. I've had it with your lies. Wheezy, I'm

you the truth.

There really isn't Eddie Stokes. I just couldn't find the real one. That's all.

You've got to believe me.

Why should I?

First you tell me you're going to meet a man who turns out to be a woman. That's

right. And then you bring some fool up here wearing women's clothes. Yeah, but

we... And tell me it's your friend. Yeah, but... And now you say there

isn't Eddie Stokes. And you expect me to believe you?

Yeah.

Well, forget it.

because you are not staying here tonight.

Now, hold it.

This is my house. I paid her, man. I ain't going nowhere.

Okay.

If that's the way you want it, I'll leave.

Wheezy.

Go away.

Eddie, what are you doing here?

Well, I forgot one of my bags at the hotel. Went back for it. Got your

and rushed right over. Eddie, old buddy, old pal.

George, your message said it was a matter of life and death.

It is. You are going to save my life. Weezy, George, my mind is made up. I'm

packing. Well, you can just start unpacking because this is Eddie, the

Eddie. Edie.

Whatever.

What do you say now, Weezy?

Well, George, at least this time you are smart enough to hire a woman to play

the part.

This ain't no woman.

Beg your pardon.

Weezy, remember I told you about the time we got Eddie stoned drunk and took

to this tattoo parlor?

I got him tattooed. Well, here it is.

Where's Myrtle?

Where is this? It's got to be somewhere.

Where'd it go?

I had the tattoo removed, George.

You what?

It just didn't go with high heels and a beaded purse.

That's it.

Goodbye, George. Wheezy, wait. Listen, I swear this is really Eddie.

Well, I hope you and Eddie will be very happy together.

I love you and I miss you, my fuzzy wuzzy teddy bear.

What did you say?

I said I love you and I miss you, my fuzzy -wuzzy teddy bear.

Isn't that the way you ended all of your letters to George when he was in the

Navy? No, it ain't. We used to call me her big, strong, grizzly bear.

No, I distinctly remember fuzzy -wuzzy teddy bear. It was grizzly bear. Teddy

bear. Look, she's my wife. I don't know what she used to call me. It was grizzly

bear. No, George, she's right.

You were my fuzzy -wuzzy teddy bear.

I was.

And if you know that, you must be the real Eddie.

Edie. Oh, I mean, Edie.

Thank God we got all that cleared up.

Well, I've got a plane to catch.

Oh, look, Eddie, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted back at

hotel tonight.

That's all right. I understand.

You saved my marriage. I'll never forget it.

What are friends for?

Hey, that's right. We are still friends, Eddie.

George. As a friend, I wish you'd call me Edie.

Okay, sure. Uh, Edie.

Thanks, George.

I appreciate that.

Hey, uh, why don't you let us take you to the airport?

Thank you. I'd like that.

Would you mind if I use your bathroom? I'd like to freshen up before we leave.

Oh, sure. It's right in there.

Oh, okay.

Well, what do you say now, Weave?

George, how could you?

What did I do?

You read my love letters to the entire United States Navy.

No, I didn't, Weezy. Just to Eddie. He was my buddy.

Well, that's all right, then.

I should have believed you.

I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

I'll think about it.

Okay, I thought about it.

I'll forgive you.

George, you know, you are still my fuzzy -wuzzy teddy bear.

You know something, Weezy?

I'm going to miss the old Eddie.

We used to have a lot of laughs together.

I remember this time.

Ah, George!

There's a big rat in the bathroom!

A rat here?

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

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