Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the side, moving on up, to a deep...

I don't think we should call the cops. No. But, Pop, you want to see your

alive? Well, sure I do.

Then no cops.

Look, the kidnappers told me they said get $100 ,000, go home, wait by the

phone, and don't call the cops, and that's exactly what we're going to do.

George, the police are professionals. They know how to handle these things.

wouldn't do anything to jeopardize Louise.

Then how come they let her get kidnapped?

Well, they... Oh, be reasonable. Look, no cops, and that's final.

I wonder where my banker was with the money.

Well, I wish there was something we could do. All this waiting is driving me

crazy.

Maybe I ought to call the jeweler and see if Louise was there.

What good is that going to do?

Well, he might have noticed something. A clue, perhaps. A clue like what?

Well, like a man grabbing your wife and kidnapping her.

I'm going to call.

Don't touch that phone. The kidnappers might be trying to call.

We can call from my apartment.

Good idea. We'll be right back.

Oh, man, this is like a bad dream.

I just wish I could get my hands on that honky to grab Weasley.

Honky?

Oh, he's white. Because he had a white accent.

I'm just glad I got the money. If we was poor, we'd really be in trouble.

If we were poor, Mom wouldn't have been kidnapped.

But why me?

There are a lot of rich guys in the city. Oh, yeah, Papa. They don't go

advertising it. Look, when you run your own business, you've got to advertise to

make money. And to make Mom a target for kidnappers. Don't push me!

Pop, I'm sorry.

Uh, I'll make coffee.

I'll help you. That's a good idea. I need something to calm my nerves.

Mother Jefferson, coffee doesn't calm the nerves.

No. Well, then maybe you'd better make me a Bloody Mary.

Your mother's one in a million, Lionel.

I remember right after you were born.

I didn't have no job, couldn't find none, no matter how hard I tried.

And then Weezy went out and got a job, came home and worked all day, took care

of you and me, mostly me, because I was climbing walls by then.

But she never complained, and the other woman would have split out on me.

Yeah, I never realized how much I love her till now.

Like they say, you never miss the water till the well runs dry. I know what that

means now.

I mean, she means everything to me now.

Everything.

I don't know.

All this money wouldn't mean nothing if I ain't got Wheezy to share it with.

If anything happens to Alana, I don't know.

Pop, look, we just gotta think positive, okay?

Because Mom's gonna be fine. But why didn't they kidnap me? Why'd they have

grab Wheezy?

George, you've got to have faith.

Louise is in God's hands. No, she's not, Mom. She's in the kidnapper's hands.

Ain't no telling what they might do.

Anybody that's crazy enough to kidnap somebody and broad... What's that?

Pop.

Now, just take it easy. It's just the doorbell. Maybe it's the bank.

Oh, did you talk to the jeweler? Yes. He said Louise picked up the watch and

left about an hour ago.

Oh, this is awful.

Take it easy, Ma. Well, they've got your watch, too.

Oh.

Uh,

Mr. Jefferson, if your wife left the jewelry store an hour ago and the

kidnappers phoned your office a half an hour ago, then they can't have had Mrs.

Jefferson for more than 30 minutes when they phoned. So what?

Well, let's say it took them two minutes to get Mrs. Jefferson into their car,

and perhaps four minutes to get her from the car to where they're keeping her.

That leaves 24 minutes traveling time.

The kidnappers are holding Mrs. Jefferson within one mile of the jewelry

How do you know that?

Oh, it's elementary.

In rush hour traffic in this city, you can't get further than a mile in 24

minutes.

It's Saturday, Ben. There ain't no rush hour today.

They could be in Jersey by now.

Drat! If it were a weekday, we'd have had them.

I'm afraid we're dealing with professionals, Mr. J.

Where's that coffee?

Coming up.

Well, that ought to do it.

Oh, boy.

It's going to be a long day.

Will you get me a diet soda?

A diet soda?

I have to watch my weight.

Daddy, how can you eat at a time like this?

I always eat when I'm nervous.

You can say that again.

I remember when I was in labor with you. Your daddy brought me some candy. Well,

all I got were the wrappers.

That's right. When you were born, your mother lost eight pounds and I gained

ten.

Was there any luck with the jewelers, Mama?

No. Oh, I feel terrible.

If only I had picked up George's watch.

ready. But I should have gone back to the store with Louise.

This is all my fault.

Oh, Mama, don't. Oh, take it easy, Helen.

Daddy's right. The only thing we can do is wait.

That's right. And the most important thing is that we all stay calm.

Forbid! Forbid!

Mr. Kidnapper, it's 422.

Repeat everything they say, Mr. J, and I'll write it down so that we can tell

the police later.

Hello?

Yeah, this is George Jefferson.

What?

Three dance lessons for $14 .95.

Three dance lessons for $14 .95?

No, I am not interested. And don't be calling on my phone again, or I'll dance

on your head.

Why don't they call?

It was taking them so long.

Good afternoon, I'm Mr. Billings. Oh, yeah, please, come in. We've been

for you. You got the money? It's all here. Good, give it.

Be patient.

It's all right, Billings. They're all friends.

Or relatives.

Before I give you the money, Mr. Jefferson, I'll need your John Hancock.

What do you want with my life insurance?

No, no, no.

Just put your signature on these loan forms. Why don't you just say signature?

There you are.

Now, this gives the bank the right to impound all your personal and business

property in case something happens.

Like what?

Like the police don't get the money back.

You see, George, I told you. Shut up, Willis. And this form is for our files.

certifies... Billy, just show me where to sign.

Please, I'm just trying to be helpful.

There's no need to get excited. Oh, no? Has your wife ever been kidnapped?

No. Leslie, the keys.

There you are, Mr. Jefferson.

$100 ,000.

Now I must call security and let them know I arrived safely. May I use your

phone? Not that one. I'm expecting a call.

You can use the pay phone down in the lobby.

Oh, of course.

Do you have a dime?

I never carry cash.

Here. Thanks.

Oh, I'll credit this to your account.

Well, here it is.

$100 ,000.

I've never seen so much money before.

Judge, it's a good thing they kidnapped Louise.

What are you talking about, Mom?

Just think how much they would be asking if they'd kidnapped me.

I'm going to call the cops. Don't touch the phone.

Oh, damn it, Pop. This is my mother we're talking about. You know, I care

as much about her safety as you do. Well, if you care, don't call the cops.

Well, look, Pop, it's $100 ,000.

back to the office and I... Louise!

What's all the kissing for? You're here in our living room, Louise!

You never act like this in our bedroom.

What in the world?

Now I know something's wrong.

Hey, Mom, tell us, how did you get away? Did they let you go?

Can you identify them? Was one of them a honky? I mean, white.

What are you all talking about?

The kidnappers.

Kidnappers? What kidnappers? The ones that grabbed you.

You thought I was kidnapped?

Well, wasn't you?

Why would anybody want me?

That's what I've been asking myself for years.

Hey, Mom, now look.

Somebody called Pop's office, and they demanded a $100 ,000 ransom for you.

$100 ,000?

George, where would you get that kind of money? Right here.

My God.

Oh, I feel faint.

What's wrong?

Kidnapped? Well, you ain't kidnapped.

Well, just a thought.

Those gangsters grabbing me and hurting me. Oh, George.

But who's going to protect me from you?

It looks like you were the victim of a hoax, George.

What kind of person would make a crank call like that?

A crank?

A sick crank.

Well, now that I know George's watch is safe, I'm going to take a nap.

Helen, the watch was supposed to be a surprise.

But I had to tell them where you went, Louise.

Don't worry about it, Louise. Having you back safe and sound is the best

surprise ever.

Mr. Jefferson, do you have any enemies?

Enemies? I mean, is there anyone who doesn't like you? Are you kidding? Who

wouldn't like me?

Well, let's go alphabetically.

Here's your watch. Surprise.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, that's great.

Read what's on the back.

Oh, shot proof, waterproof.

George.

The inscription.

Oh, that.

To George, the man I love to make time with, Louise.

Mrs.

Jefferson, could the person who phoned be someone who had it in for you?

Oh, no.

Wait a minute.

George, where was your mother when you got that call?

Oh, come on, Wheezy. Look, why don't we just forget about this and everybody

have a drink to celebrate Wheezy being safe, okay?

What'll it be, Willis?

Oh, I don't know.

What about a white mule?

What's a white mule?

A honky -donky.

No, thank you, George.

I think the champagne we had at your office is affecting me.

Look, Willis, you have to learn how to drink without getting sick.

Oh, I'm not sick. I said it was affecting me.

Come on, Helen.

Let's go upstairs.

That's a good idea.

The champagne's affecting me, too.

Good. It's giving me a headache.

Mr.

Jefferson? Perhaps it was a disgruntled customer.

Who? The crank who's playing this nasty trick on you. Oh, Bentley, it's all over

now. Wheezy's home safe.

Case is closed.

Hello.

Yeah, this is George Jefferson.

What?

You jar of turkey.

Yeah, I got the money. It's the crank.

Oh, so you got my wife, huh?

Okay, let me talk to my wife.

Your husband wants to talk to you.

Watch what you say and make it quick.

The kidnappers grabbed Florence. They think she's you.

Florence? Are you sure? Look, I know that old crack voice that he plays.

Florence, how'd you get into this?

Well, uh, darling, these... two men came to our apartment and told me not to

make a sound. Well, tell them they screwed up, that you ain't my wife.

they'll let you go. Wait a minute, George dear.

You don't understand.

These men know that ain't nobody in this world more important to you and worth

more than your wife.

Me.

So now, George dear, you better do exactly what these men tell you.

After all, you do want to see me again, don't you, George darling?

What?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes, dear, I know $100 ,000 is a lot of money.

But I heard on my car radio that some man paid $5 ,552

,197 for his wife.

Hey, Pop, what is she saying?

I don't know if she's rattling on about some guy that paid a bunch of dough for

his wife.

What? Yeah, I heard you. $5 ,552 ,197.

But what's that got to do with... Okay, time's up.

Now listen, chump, and listen good.

There's a tire store on the corner of 95th and Lexington.

If you ever want to see your wife again, go to the alley behind the store and

put the money in the garbage pail.

Got it? I don't want any lip.

Just have the dough there in a half an hour. And remember, no cops.

Yeah, okay, no cops, but how... Jerk, turkey hung up.

How did Smarring sound?

Terrible. Oh, that's awful.

No, that's normal.

What did they say, Pop? Well, they told me to drop the money off behind a tire

store in a half hour.

Well, you better get going.

Not me. I'm calling the cops. No, they said not to.

Yes, and you didn't want to call the police before.

That's when I thought they had Wheezy.

Oh, now, Pop, what's the difference between Mom and Florence? Look, if you

know the difference by now, you've got to be pretty dumb.

Oh, no, Mr. Jefferson.

Florence's life is in danger.

No, it ain't.

In about two hours, that kidnapper's gonna be begging her to get out and take

her mouth with her.

Hello, Mr. Jefferson, sir. Ralph! Maybe you can help.

You've been here all day, right?

Well, no, sir. I was gone about an hour.

What? You deserted your post, huh?

You could be shot for that in the service.

For going to Woolworth's?

Woolworth's? Yes, sir. To get you this office -warming present.

Aha! Yeah, well, you're only going an hour.

Hey, Ralph, that's pretty nice.

Yes, sir. I figured a man as busy as you would need a good pocket calendar.

Yeah, but Ralph, this book's been used.

Oh, no, sir. I just noted a few important dates you wouldn't want to

Christmas, my birthday, Thanksgiving, April 16th. April 16th?

The day after taxes, sir. I'm a little short then.

Hey, wait a minute, Ralph. Look.

Uh, did you see any suspicious -looking strangers hanging around the building

today?

No, sir.

Think hard now, Ralph. This is important.

Did you see anybody take that elevator up to this floor?

Well, only those two telephone repairmen.

They must be doing very well, sir. They gave me a $20 tip.

You idiot! That's them!

What them? Them! Them!

What do they look like?

I didn't notice. I was too busy looking at the $20 bill. But next time, sir,

I'll make sure.

open his eyes closed.

Five million dollars. I don't recall anyone ever paying that much ransom.

Florence said she heard on a car radio.

Oh, wait a minute. That can't be.

Florence doesn't have a car radio. She doesn't even have a car.

are wasting time. Now pick up that money and drop it where they told you to.

Yeah, you're right. We gotta get her back.

But I'm taking this out of her salary.

Mr. Jefferson, I think I've got it. I think I know where Florence is.

How could you know that?

I figured it out thanks to Senora Hidalgo. Who?

Senora Hidalgo with the character in a mystery story I once read, The Case of

the Kidnapped Contessa. It was written by... What are you mumbling about,

Bentley? Come to think of it, I lent that book to Florence.

That's the trouble, Florence. She's always reading instead of working.

Senora Hidalgo and her husband were living in exile in England when she was

kidnapped by hostile forces. But unbeknownst to her kidnappers, both

Hidalgo and her husband were amateur radio operators well -versed in Morse

So? So, in the presence of her captors, Senora Hidalgo tapped out her location

in Morse code while talking on the telephone to her husband.

As I recall, she used her wedding ring.

Mr. Bentley, what's this got to do with Florence? She's not even married.

Your head if you don't cut it out, Bentley.

Yeah, Mr. Bentley, just tell us where's Florence.

Well, I don't know exactly.

However, I think I know how we can find her. Look at this.

You're a genius, Mr. Bentley.

Hey, you sure are, Bentley.

Hey.

Operator, give me the police.

I'll give it a couple more minutes, and then I'll drive down and make the pick

-out. Yeah.

Can't wait to see all that beautiful green.

Excuse me. Is it all right if I... You just went five minutes ago.

I was just going to ask if it's all right if I pray.

Sure. Go ahead.

Yeah, well, there's ain't no church, so shut up! The Lord just ain't in church.

He's everywhere.

Oh, he is, is he?

Well, he ain't under there.

Maybe he's hiding in the closet.

Nope. I guess he took today off to play golf.

Stop that blaspheming!

Now, you keep talking with the devil's tongue, and the Lord's gonna punish you.

Now, if you were smart, you'd get down on your knees and repent.

If you're smart, you'll sit down and shut up.

You're going to be talking to the Lord face to face.

Shouldn't you get started now?

Yeah, but first I better call the airport and see if our flight's on time.

You think we're asking enough money for her?

A hundred grand ain't pocket change.

Yeah, but some guy paid over five million for his wife. Ain't that right?

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Give me Global Airlines.

Who paid all that money?

I don't remember.

How much did you say he paid?

A lot. You said it was $5 ,500 ,000 something.

Something like that.

It was $5 ,552 ,197, wasn't it? I can't remember

figures.

Damn! What's the matter? The line's busy?

No, she told him where we are.

What? See?

5 -5 -5 -2 -1 -9 -7. That's our phone number. They could be tracing us right

now.

You're gonna pay for this, lady. Wait a minute. You ain't got nothing to worry

about. My boss is too dumb to pick up that clue.

What'd you say?

I said my boss... I mean, Mr. Jim... I mean, my husband is too dumb.

Something ain't right here.

No. Yeah, didn't you hear? First she said her boss, then she said Mr.

Jim. Hush!

Shut up, you nit.

Okay, lady, just who are you?

I'm George Jefferson's wife. What's your first name?

Florence, I mean Louise.

Check her wallet.

If you're lying to us, lady.

Says here she's Florence Johnston. Florence Johnston? That's my stage name.

Your stage name?

Yeah, I'm a dancer, see?

I'll bet you don't make too much money dancing.

Because your insurance card says you're a housekeeper. A housekeeper?

Damn, we got the maid.

The maid? We ain't gonna get a dime for her.

Oh, yes, you will.

Mr. Jefferson just loves me. He's always saying, Florent, ain't nobody in the

world like you. We gotta get out of here. What are we gonna do with her?

We'll have to get rid of her. Why?

Yeah, why?

Because you can identify us. No, I can't. All you people look alike to me.

What are you worried about?

They'll never find us down in Florida.

You jerk!

Now we gotta take her over. You just told her where we're going.

I didn't hear him. I wasn't listening.

But we don't want to risk a murder rap. Did you say murder? I thought you

weren't listening.

I wasn't. That was just a lucky guess.

We'll dump her along the way.

Went out the door.

And child, there they were.

Waiting for me.

Something told me right away that they meant business.

What was that, Florence?

That gun sticking in my face.

Here you are, Florence. This will calm you down.

Oh, I tell you, I ain't never been treated so bad before in my life.

They animals.

Nothing but animals.

But you said they didn't hurt you.

Look what they did to my hat.

It's just your hat. Just think what they could have done to your head.

You're right about that, Miss Jefferson.

Child, I can't tell y 'all how worried I was.

Who was you worried about? You should have known I'd pick up that clue just

that.

George, you didn't... But it's been a good day after all.

Got my wife, got my money.

And you got me.

Don't spoil it.

I got my son going into business with me, right?

Wrong. But, Lionel, you said... We, Pop.

said we'd think about it. And we did.

But Lionel's not gonna take the job.

But think of all that money and what you can do with it, Lionel. Oh, I did, Pop.

But you know something? I saw what all that money almost did to Mom and

Florence.

I think Lionel's right, George.

One tycoon in the family is enough.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

For now.

Where's the money?

What money? The ransom money.

Oh, the last time I saw it, it was right there. Well it ain't there now.

my place.

I got it.

That ain't necessary, Mama. The man said it's all there.

George, were you really going to pay all that money for me?

So, weas, you know you're worth your weight in gold.

Oh.

I don't think there's that much gold in Fort Knox.

The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.