Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,701
-Clear!
-Clear!
2
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:58,223
Who's ready for Earth World?!
3
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,517
Moms, I can't find
my cross-body bag!
4
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:01,935
Where's my cross-body bag?
5
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,270
Stop saying "cross-body bag."
6
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,646
On you, it's a fanny
pack up higher.
7
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,814
Space Beth, you're driving.
8
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,066
I'm low on wanting to drive.
9
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,817
Would one of you mind
making me a quick sandwich?
10
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,320
You know theme park food
gives me interesting stools.
11
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,654
Read the room.
12
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,114
We're not going. Look at us.
13
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,324
No, you got to come.
14
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,034
It's an absolute train wreck.
15
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,620
This dude, he's never been
to Earth, but he loves it,
16
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,080
and he sucks at
making theme parks.
17
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,708
-We said fucking no!
-We said fucking no!
18
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,292
Alright. Fine.
19
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:28,129
But nobody wants to
see a Beths adventure.
20
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,299
I thought cloning was
supposed to make us happy.
21
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,717
I hate my life.
22
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,095
And I know you
have to hate yours.
23
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,721
-Hey!
-Sorry.
24
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,599
I started drinking in the car.
25
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,593
{\an8}Why are we miserable?
It's not Jerry.
26
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,137
{\an8}Yeah, it could be worse.
27
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,180
{\an8}I mean, we could have
married Pep Rosenfeld.
28
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,516
{\an8}Oh, my God. I forgot about him.
29
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,017
{\an8}Oh, he died in
that thing, right?
30
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,395
{\an8}9-11, yeah.
31
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,438
{\an8}We can't just put it
all on Dad, right?
32
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,523
{\an8}We're done with that guy.
33
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,650
{\an8}"I had a bad dad."
34
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,443
{\an8}Shut up. Write a book about it.
35
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,779
{\an8}I'm just so tired of all the
shit we have to do to live.
36
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,531
{\an8}You abandoned all your shit.
37
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,284
{\an8}There is so much
more shit in space!
38
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,452
{\an8}When was the last
time we were happy?
39
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,037
{\an8}Truly happy?
40
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,831
{\an8}Felt pretty good
when we were kids.
41
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,208
{\an8}Oh, my God, I wish I
could be young again.
42
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,461
{\an8}That kind of wish never
goes the way you want.
43
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,964
{\an8}That being said...
44
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,050
{\an8}Why do you have a
de-aging machine?
45
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,469
{\an8}When I'm bringing in bounties,
I change 'em into kids.
46
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,722
{\an8}This car fits ten kids
if you pack 'em right.
47
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,848
{\an8}Sounds efficient.
48
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,851
{\an8}Is that... worth
dealing with ten kids?
49
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,311
{\an8}Oh, no, I drug them too.
50
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,271
{\an8}Wait, will my clothes
be super huge or...
51
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,355
{\an8}Oh, no. No, no, no.
52
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,693
{\an8}Technology this advanced is
indistinguishable from magic.
53
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,619
{\an8}-Whoa!
-Whoa!
54
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,705
{\an8}My face... My skin!
55
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,208
{\an8}I can see everything!
56
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,585
{\an8}My mouth tastes so clean!
57
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,212
{\an8}Whoa, my knuckles work!
58
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,297
{\an8}No pain!
59
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,590
{\an8}You look like shit.
60
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,258
{\an8}Wait, no! Come back here!
61
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,802
{\an8}Get ready. Earth
World is a mess.
62
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,221
{\an8}No creative consistency.
63
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,805
{\an8}Last time I was here,
they had a whole ride
64
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,098
{\an8}dedicated to Pol Pot.
65
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,101
{\an8}There's a non-zero chance
you'll lose an eye.
66
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,354
{\an8}Oh, that wasn't the vibe
I got from the waivers.
67
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,189
{\an8}-Waivers?
-Yeah, from the website.
68
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,316
{\an8}Website?!
69
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,694
{\an8}Welcome to Earth World!
It's me, Dr. Dogballs!
70
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,779
{\an8}What the hell?!
71
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,864
{\an8}I love Earth so much
I made a theme park,
72
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,199
{\an8}just like they would on Earth!
73
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,117
{\an8}Oh. Yeah.
74
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,245
{\an8}Wow, I guess this does
seem like it sucks.
75
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,664
{\an8}Good one, Grandpa. You
still like stuff ironically?
76
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:12,042
{\an8}No, it used to be bad
bad, which was good.
77
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,795
{\an8}There used to be a ride called
"It's a Small Black Death"!
78
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,214
Looks like they've
just got a regular GAP.
79
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,924
Rick, were you just
drunk when you were here?
80
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,175
I'm drunk now!
81
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,760
Where's all the rusty nails?
82
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,387
Where's the Herpes Family Flume?
83
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,931
-Light-up corn dog?
-Get the fuck away from me!
84
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,434
Can't wait to get a photo
taken with... Marie Curie?
85
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,019
I think that's John Legend?
86
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,437
Maybe they picked John Legend
87
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,523
'cause his name implies
he's really important.
88
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,067
Rick, how were you thinking
we should enjoy this?
89
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,611
Wow, they have a Hall
of Presidential Pets?
90
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,281
-Like that?
-Do you think I can meet Socks?
91
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,783
I'm not gonna shit on it too hard
'cause I know you'd punish me,
92
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,661
but isn't this just a
mid-'90s outdoor mall?
93
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:48,745
-Oh!
-My bad!
94
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:49,871
Oh, my God!
95
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,082
You're a real Earth
person, aren't you?
96
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,875
-From Earth?!
-Yeah.
97
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,752
I'm, like, starstruck.
98
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,421
A real human!
99
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,132
Ooh, you smell nasty.
100
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,510
-Oh. I mean, is that good?
-Absolutely.
101
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,345
Well, it's nice to see
something in this park
102
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,139
still grimy and real.
103
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,474
Then I'm as nasty as they come.
104
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,893
Can you believe my
grandpa loves this place?
105
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,020
Lame.
106
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,564
Beth! Where'd you go? Beth?
107
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,149
Beth, I want you to have fun,
108
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,151
but I need to know
where you're having it.
109
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,446
-I found a possum!
-Oh, my God!
110
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,532
No! I don't wanna be old!
111
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,660
You're in so much pain,
and you don't even know it!
112
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,371
-Oh, my God.
-I'm sorry.
113
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:34,291
I forgot just how
insane we were as a kid.
114
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,045
-I shouldn't have pitched this.
-You have got to try it.
115
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,712
I'm over here!
116
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,922
Okay, sweetie, this is
your two-minute warning.
117
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,466
It's almost time to switch back.
118
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,385
You got to find me first!
119
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,803
Too slow! Try again!
120
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,223
Alright, let's go. That's
enough. I'm serious.
121
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,434
Alright, Beth.
122
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,939
Surprise! You done been got!
123
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,567
Do it.
124
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,084
That bathroom was a ride too?!
125
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,086
I had my pants down
and everything!
126
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,880
-I really do need to go.
-Just go in a bush.
127
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,216
I swear it used to
be funnier than this.
128
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,510
Don't turn around.
I'm squatting.
129
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,221
Hey, you can't go...
there like that.
130
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,348
You used to be able to piss
wherever you wanted to.
131
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,641
Like on Earth.
132
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,726
Grandpa Rick, take the L.
133
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,186
Let's get Morty and go home.
134
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,562
Yeah, this place is fucked.
135
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,606
Corporate takeover.
Board-approved changes.
136
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,234
Steve Jobs dies, and we get
ten years of the same iPhone.
137
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,486
Oh, no, the guy who made
the park is still alive.
138
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,904
-He is?
-Yeah.
139
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,864
Rumor is, he still lives here.
140
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,534
Down in the tunnels.
141
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,955
Hey, Sum-Sum, You
like breaking rules.
142
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,165
Ooh, did you bring molly?
143
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,084
Hurry it up, Jerry!
144
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,169
It's your fault I
have to go like this.
145
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,298
You destroyed my urethra when
you turned me into a trash can.
146
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,551
Follow me.
147
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,470
And of course I brought molly.
148
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,597
If you're just joining
us tonight, we have a...
149
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,224
Oh, my God. It exploded.
150
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,476
Oh, God. All those astronauts.
151
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,687
It's worse than any
explosion before it!
152
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,105
This is hilarious.
153
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,983
Hey, yo. Check this out.
154
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,610
Awesome. No adult
is getting inside.
155
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,404
Also, don't sit on that chair.
156
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,738
The cushion is knives.
157
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,365
Somebody's got to sit on it!
158
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,117
Gene should sit on it.
159
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,120
-Bam!
-Nice!
160
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,833
Hey there, girls.
161
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,419
I'm guessing one of you
is Beth from next door,
162
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,504
and one of you is her... clone,
163
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,423
but you're both
little girls now?
164
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,175
Not that strange,
given what I've seen.
165
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,926
What are you, a scientist?
166
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,386
Come sit in our chair.
167
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:54,556
Well, based on the design
of your makeshift harpoon,
168
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,933
seems like you girls
are on a bit of a spree.
169
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,478
Feel like I'm gonna be
walking into some booby traps.
170
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,812
Let's have some cocoa instead.
171
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:04,733
-"Let's have some cocoa."
-"I'm divorced."
172
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,902
Hey! That is cruel and
technically untrue.
173
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,613
But you're in an altered headspace,
so I know you don't mean it.
174
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,241
Why don't you two sit tight?
I'll get the Swiss Miss.
175
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,910
-Let's go.
-Go where?
176
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:18,288
Go hunt him. Unless
you're scared.
177
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,748
I'm not scared of anything.
178
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,042
Let's get in the walls.
179
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,753
{\an8}Wow, this is a good photo of us.
180
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,631
Keep talking. I can smell
your rotting breakfast.
181
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,342
-Oh, God.
-Your hairs are insane.
182
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,135
They're all over your body.
183
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,346
Can I touch them?
Say a human phrase.
184
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,557
Say "grocery list" in
that stinkbody accent.
185
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,683
You mean my voice?
186
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,227
-Yes!
-"Grocery list."
187
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,728
I love your
tooth-filled big hole
188
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,688
and the other less-used
holes on your face.
189
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,315
Okay...
190
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:48,276
I'm getting the feeling
that you're not into me
191
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:52,073
as much as you like the idea
of being with any human.
192
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,991
Does it matter if
I'm still turned on?
193
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,618
No, I guess it doesn't.
194
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,412
I want to get your wet
muscle in my mouth.
195
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,872
You mean my tongue?
196
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,541
I don't care what it's called.
197
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,751
{\an8}Rick, I know you're
having a bad time,
198
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:09,089
but I think I saw a Panera up
there that might change your tune.
199
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,757
-A Panera?!
-Yeah!
200
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,301
-Shut up.
-Is that Kevin Costner?
201
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,636
Wait, why do I know that?
202
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,429
Did Father make new models?
203
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,223
I don't recognize you three.
204
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,392
No, I'm... Old Guy Fieri,
205
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,851
this is Princess Diana,
206
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,436
and he's Mr. Rogers.
207
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,688
Or Brett Kavanaugh.
208
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,731
I wouldn't know. I
never left this park.
209
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,485
Us too. We're
looking for Dogballs.
210
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,366
He lives below.
211
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,746
Dr. Dogballs. My man!
212
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,250
Humans! Real humans!
213
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,376
The mad genius who
built Earth World!
214
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,545
Nobody loves Earth
as much as me.
215
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,423
Car, Muscle Beach,
property taxes.
216
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,800
But before I could
complete my perfect vision,
217
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,636
I was caught with incriminating
files on my computer,
218
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,347
and the board chained me up.
219
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,682
I watch animal pornography.
220
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:01,808
It's my business.
221
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,060
Like with people and animals?
222
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,478
No, just the animals, sicko.
223
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,397
The original Earth
World was incredible.
224
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,149
I got strep from a candy once!
225
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,693
Of course you feel that
way. You're a human being.
226
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,863
You know what Earth theme
parks are supposed to be like.
227
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,906
I'd take you to the
dead zone if I could
228
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,492
and show you some
of the old delights.
229
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,411
But they won't let
me leave my office.
230
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,623
They won't, but I will.
231
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:28,461
Welcome to the real Earth World!
232
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,296
I guess this is closer
to how I remember it.
233
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,716
Oh! I stepped on a rusty nail!
234
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,219
At least Jerry got hurt.
235
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,889
Hot cocoa with
extra marshmallows!
236
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,974
Hope you got room for
extra marshmallows!
237
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,518
Look at him holding
marshmallows over our heads.
238
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,936
Like that's some kind of power.
239
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,980
I do like marshmallows.
240
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,774
He doesn't decide
about our marshmallows!
241
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,484
You should go up
there and cut him.
242
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,985
You should cut him.
243
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,070
What should we cut?
244
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,822
I don't know. Just
start slashing!
245
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,826
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
246
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,454
My ankles! I need a doctor!
247
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,581
Great. Now we have
to take care of him.
248
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,124
I don't want to take
care of anybody!
249
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,585
-You take care of him!
-It was your idea!
250
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,920
-Not it! Jinx!
-Not it! Jinx!
251
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,464
-I think you hit an artery!
-She did it! She's a psycho.
252
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,800
-You're the psycho!
-I watched you eat a bird!
253
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,636
After you tore off its wings!
254
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,931
I'll show you who's psycho!!
255
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,602
Yeah, run away, you baby!
256
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,271
Remember your
affirmations, Gene.
257
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,941
You deserve to live.
258
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,026
Oh.
259
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,449
Well, somehow every decision
I've ever made has led to this.
260
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,667
Get out of my tree house!
261
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,919
Get out of my yard!
262
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:01,554
Fire detected. Extinguishing.
263
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,282
Come on, Gene. Not like this.
264
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,408
Not like this!
265
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,702
Hey, Siri, call 911!
266
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,871
Countdown to calling 911.
267
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,999
Calling 911 in 10, 9, 8, 7...
268
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,626
Why does it need a countdown?!
269
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,839
Earth's World War II was fought
with combines and harvesters,
270
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,383
and you're about to
witness it firsthand.
271
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,260
Oh, God, is that a live wire?
272
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,597
None of the electricity
is grounded here.
273
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:46,932
Shit.
274
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,851
I got to get home
before Gene calls 911
275
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,352
from any other
phone but his own.
276
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,480
The head thing so you can
get out the way you came.
277
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,940
Wait, you're leaving? I
thought you loved this place.
278
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,525
Yeah, I don't know.
279
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:58,860
I guess Morty was right.
280
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,528
Am I, like, supposed
to think it's cool
281
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,989
that there's measles in the
water and, like, snakes?
282
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,784
Nah. You guys have fun.
283
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,538
Oh, shit!
284
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,337
We're done here, boys.
285
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,382
Rick, your girls.
286
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,259
They're not good people.
287
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,845
Thank... you.
288
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,473
I've only been
gone for two hours!
289
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,557
Hey, Beths!
290
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,392
Deducing here that you've
been huffing childhood
291
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,978
and have overdosed on fun.
292
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,232
Ouch.
293
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:46,032
-I'm gonna kill you!
-Well, I'm gonna kill you first!
294
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,159
Ow! Damn it!
295
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,370
That's it. We're done.
296
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,796
You dick!
297
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,798
Enough Home Alone-ing.
298
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,174
Goddamn it!
299
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,553
I cloned you to fix this, not
make you twice as annoying.
300
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,138
Oh, I can't tell
you. Oh, my God!
301
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:13,059
I've waited so long for
someone to see my vision.
302
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,562
And of course it
was real humans!
303
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,106
You're the perfect
audience for this.
304
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,984
My finest moment.
305
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:24,028
Oh, shit. What's that?
306
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,364
My beautiful creations.
307
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,492
They're going to
destroy the park.
308
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,244
Oh, God.
309
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,538
I thought they were
people in costumes,
310
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,415
but the costumes are the people?
311
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,000
The people are the costumes?!
312
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,752
All Earth theme parks
end the same way.
313
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,046
Jurassic Park, Westworld,
314
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,716
even the rides inside
the theme parks
315
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,009
tell the same story.
316
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,552
You're on a boat ride
317
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,054
when suddenly you take
a detour to a waterfall,
318
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,223
and now you're in
a pirate's den,
319
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:55,101
forced to suck
dick to stay alive!
320
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,185
Why would you do this?
321
00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:57,896
The greatest tribute to Earth
322
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,859
is a theme park
that ends in chaos.
323
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,824
Be free! Be free, my lovelies!
324
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,868
Hungry for meat.
325
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,120
Eat meat!
326
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:14,747
Take it all!
327
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,790
-Take the other one!
-Shit! Dad!
328
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,667
Take it! Take it all!
329
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,795
Blend in. Stumble around!
330
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,679
Yeah, you like
that? Labradoodle.
331
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,056
-Uh-huh.
-Coconut milk.
332
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,307
More human stuff.
333
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,601
Big League Chew.
334
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,395
Ooh! Say something racist.
335
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,856
-What?
-C'mon, you're human,
336
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,275
it's your whole thing.
337
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:48,488
Italians make pretty good pizza?
338
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:52,409
No, do it hateful, you
disgusting little bug.
339
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,035
Did you hear that?
340
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,329
Now you're pretending there's
some kind of emergency?
341
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,498
I tried to be
vulnerable with you.
342
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,291
If you don't think I'm
pretty, just say so.
343
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,962
I'm sorry, but I'm not
just some sexual fantasy,
344
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,295
I'm a whole person.
345
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,924
Come on! You guys
basically invented racism.
346
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,717
If I wanted to fuck
something good,
347
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:12,137
I wouldn't have
come to Earth World.
348
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,099
I don't even know who this is!
349
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,185
It's John Legend, I
think! Oh, my God!
350
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,985
Summer? Rick? Anyone?!
351
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,654
That's the entire Culkin family!
352
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,032
I guess there's seven of them?
353
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,121
I loved you in
Succession! I'm sorry!
354
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,331
Enough kindergarten. I don't
have time to be your dad.
355
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,333
-You never did!
-You want me to be a parent?
356
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,045
Fine. No more talking
until you're adults.
357
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,352
Okay, whichever one
you are, you're up.
358
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,396
She can't breathe!
She can't breathe!
359
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,273
Oh, shit, fuck!
360
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,400
Take that!
361
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,943
How old should we make him?
362
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,696
As old as it'll go.
363
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,579
Bet it's scary to have
your life in the hands
364
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,623
of unreliable caregivers!
365
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,836
{\an8}Walk! We're not
taking care of you!
366
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,130
{\an8}Yeah, get up, or
we'll leave you here!
367
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,091
{\an8}Just like you left us.
Lazy piece of shit!
368
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,385
{\an8}-Fuck you, Dad!
-Fucking asshole!
369
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,805
{\an8}You didn't want us. You
just wanted to fuck off.
370
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,224
{\an8}I didn't leave.
371
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,727
{\an8}My Beth died.
372
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,314
{\an8}Yeah, well, someone left us!
373
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,024
{\an8}And there's two of us now!
374
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,526
{\an8}You should love
us twice as much!
375
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,327
{\an8}-All we wanted was to be together!
-All we wanted was to be together!
376
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,700
Don't you... cry!
377
00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,036
You don't deserve to cry!
378
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,580
Proud...
379
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165
Proud?
380
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,000
Proud... of you...
381
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:10,214
for making me old and
beating the shit out of me.
382
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:19,973
Proud you're... you're
both my daughters.
383
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,238
You little bitches
broke my bones.
384
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,077
I'm shitting!
385
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,787
I'm not joking.
386
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,206
Stop making me laugh.
387
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,416
It's making me shit more!
388
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,755
-It's perfect!
-It's perfect!
389
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,965
The only thing that
could make this better
390
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,633
is if something was on fire.
391
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,385
I might stab something again.
392
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,178
Probably should turn you back.
393
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,306
Do most kids like
to stab this much?
394
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,184
There's the exit. Stay close.
395
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,520
Please help!
396
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,064
Oh, thank God!
397
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:10,858
How could you...
398
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,985
Oh, shit, Morty's killing...
399
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,611
I think that's Rory Culkin?
400
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:17,238
Is that who this one is!?
401
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,948
We gotta bail. Get a head.
402
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,993
-What?
-Put on Rory!
403
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,786
There's no room!
404
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,372
It's so wet in here.
405
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,082
It smells too. It smells wet.
406
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,168
They're coming!
407
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,587
Come on!
408
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,213
-Come on, get in!
-Where's the remote?
409
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,215
I lost the remote! I
can't shrink our heads!
410
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,384
Give me the keys!
411
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,307
More like Earth World.
412
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,725
-What?
-Like Jurassic World.
413
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,727
-The big sequel?
-I don't know what you're saying.
414
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,103
Wasn't it called Earth Park?
415
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,188
-No!
-No!
416
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,272
Oh.
417
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,774
Is anybody getting cold?
418
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,525
I'm blind! Space froze my eyes!
419
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,279
Yeah, Jerry. I told you,
that theme park sucks!
420
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,895
Hello. You've reached 911.
421
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,732
If this is an emergency,
please leave a message.
422
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,944
The house across the street from me
keeps disappearing and reappearing.
423
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,821
I don't know if
that's an emergency,
424
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,364
but it's really upsetting.
425
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,284
Could you send someone
to investigate?
426
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:28,370
So, I was eating a burger
and now my hands are burgers.
427
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,456
Hi. I'm being home-invaded,
and it's by a small home.
428
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,875
There's a small home that's
home-invading my home.
429
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,253
It's wearing a ski mask,
but it's definitely a house.
430
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:38,838
There's a pigeon
outside my house
431
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,798
demanding to see my
birth certificate.
432
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,009
I'm beginning to think
911 shouldn't have
433
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,343
an answering machine.
434
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,345
Also, I have 11 legs now.
435
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:48,307
Nobody ever comes.
436
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,310
Did you get any of that?
31831
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof