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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,080 You are now about to witness the strength of clothespin films. 2 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:25,480 Dearly beloved, you're about to see the blissful union of Callista and Dougie. 3 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:29,840 Your favorite man boy gonna lose his V -card. With the robot and luchador, it 4 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,140 shouldn't be that hard. Doug's bright as hot. She booms, she bangs. But riddle 5 00:00:34,140 --> 00:00:38,040 me this, son, what's up with those fangs? This party could get bloody. The 6 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:38,979 might even spin. 7 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,080 Try not to worry. 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,800 Trust the clothespin. This is my bloody wedding. 9 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,560 This is my bloody wedding! 10 00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:08,580 You're my little voodoo doll Gotta run from you 11 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,740 I'm coming up the wall 12 00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:14,950 Every move. 13 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,170 Oh, you got the time to kill. 14 00:01:19,110 --> 00:01:21,350 And I play the fool. 15 00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:24,550 Oh, I think my heart might thrill. 16 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:27,590 Oh no, what have I turned into? 17 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:48,210 for me 18 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,320 My little prince. Can I make you some pancakes? 19 00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:32,180 No thanks, Mom. 20 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360 Are you sure? 21 00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:35,100 I have M &M. 22 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,140 I can make Mickey Mouse shake. 23 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,200 Thanks, Mom. I'm okay. 24 00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:40,780 Grilled cheese? 25 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:43,460 Okay. 26 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,880 Could you cut the crust? 27 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,240 Of course. 28 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,580 Can I ask you two something? 29 00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:53,060 Sure, hon. Anything. 30 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,920 When you guys got married, were you nervous or anything? 31 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,340 No, honey. Your father and I have always been so in love. 32 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:02,700 Oh. 33 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,280 Well, just like you and Callista. 34 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,400 That's the thing. 35 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,800 She's been pressuring me a lot lately. 36 00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:12,640 Maybe I should just have sex with her. 37 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,180 Whoa, whoa, whoa, dear. 38 00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,060 We raised you differently. 39 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,600 A lot of people believe Jesus doesn't belong in the bedroom. 40 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:26,370 However... He can actually enhance the lovemaking process. 41 00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:30,370 The joining of two naked bodies. 42 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:31,590 Just so. 43 00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:32,830 With oil. 44 00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,150 Hot wax. 45 00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:39,970 Leather. 46 00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:46,130 Marriage is a rite of passage. It's a big step in one's life. 47 00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:49,970 Don't worry, my little prince. I'm sure it's just a symptom of cold feet. 48 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:51,790 This weekend... 49 00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:57,250 You can give her the ride of her life. Yeah. Then she'll be glad you both 50 00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,250 waited. 51 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,910 Cold feet. 52 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:07,050 That's it. 53 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:08,109 Thanks, Mom. 54 00:04:08,110 --> 00:04:09,029 I gotta go. 55 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:10,030 Anytime, Mom. 56 00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:29,190 Dougie! Come in, Susie, hubby! 57 00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:33,590 Hey! Hey! 58 00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:36,370 Okay. Love you, too. 59 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,429 Love ya. 60 00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:38,430 Okay. 61 00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:41,370 Great! 62 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,350 What's up, fiance? 63 00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:47,490 I'm glad you're here. I have something I want to show you. 64 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:50,030 I was just stopping by to see what was new. 65 00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:51,710 What's in the box? 66 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,229 Is that for me? 67 00:04:53,230 --> 00:04:54,230 Open it. 68 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,040 Oh! 69 00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:03,420 Slippers! 70 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,020 Thanks, babe. 71 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,920 Thought maybe your feet might be getting cold. 72 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,140 How did you know? 73 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:12,440 Wrong 74 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:20,140 house. 75 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,220 Your friends are next door. 76 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,620 Honey, can we talk for a sec? 77 00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,560 Sure. Have a seat. 78 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,900 What's up, sweetie? 79 00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:40,180 Okay, look. 80 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:46,080 I just wanted to let you know that there's nothing more that I'd like to do 81 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,520 than, you know, knead that dough. 82 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,540 You know what I mean. 83 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,160 What I'm saying is you have a rockin' bod, and... 84 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,700 I would love to slap nasties with you. 85 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,660 You know, bump fuzzies. 86 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,180 Do all the things that you've wanted to do. 87 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,720 Philly Sanchez's. 88 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:12,580 Muddy Cleveland's. Maybe even a few 63's if we have the energy. 89 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,600 But we have to wait. 90 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,900 We're getting married in a few days. 91 00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:20,680 Okay, deal. 92 00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:23,020 Really? 93 00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:24,420 Well, great. 94 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,080 I love you. 95 00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,420 Okay. What do you think you wanted to show me? 96 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:37,560 Calista, didn't I just say you need a special permit to use my little fire 97 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,840 Relax, I put my own fire out this morning. 98 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,540 I just wanted to show you this. 99 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,200 Wow. 100 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,640 What is it? 101 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,520 It's my mother's... favorite pendant. 102 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,779 It's an antique. 103 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,180 It's really nifty. 104 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,780 Very antique -y looking. 105 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:05,040 What's with the green crystal thingy? 106 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,140 I found it in a box in the attic. 107 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,240 I found it on Monday when I was going through her things. 108 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,120 I remember her really liking it. 109 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,300 She carried it around with her just before she was killed. 110 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,500 In fact, in her last words, she mumbled something about it. 111 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,760 I think it meant a lot to her. 112 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:31,670 I'm gonna wear it to the wedding. 113 00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:34,670 Don't you just love it? It's super duper awesome. 114 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,070 At least I had one. 115 00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:53,230 I had a jeweler cut the crystal up and make earrings out of it for Tammy and 116 00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:54,830 Monica so we can coordinate at the wedding. 117 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:57,070 Can you believe it's this Saturday? 118 00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:01,040 Gosh. Time flies when you're in love. 119 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,060 Mom, please. This will take like five minutes. I'm already running late. 120 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,460 All right. 121 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:16,500 It's good for you. Mom, are you kidding me? Why is it good? 122 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:24,940 Because you don't want to rush something like doing your 123 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:25,940 taxes. 124 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,180 Doing my taxes. Come on, come on. You know that I'm talking about doing you. I 125 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:34,059 know. I'm just trying to turn you off. I don't want you watching Charlie's 126 00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,059 Angels when I leave. 127 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,340 Well? You know how I get after a night with the girls. 128 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:39,940 I want you to be ready for me. 129 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:44,020 Come on, please don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me. I'll be back 130 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,920 late. Honey, this is so unfair. 131 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,520 So then, I hear the back door open. 132 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:56,860 My parents came home early. Yeah, so I jump up, pull my skirt down. He zips up 133 00:08:56,860 --> 00:09:01,360 his pants, and we run to the kitchen. And my mom comes in, and she says, well, 134 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,280 what's that on your skirt? 135 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:10,120 I look down, and I'm like, frosting from the cupcakes we made earlier? 136 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,480 And she looks at me and says, that doesn't look like frosting. 137 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,970 Well, Calista, looks like you're not going to have any more of those 138 00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:27,970 embarrassing stories. 139 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:33,350 Um, apparently Doug's saving all the embarrassing stuff for after the 140 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:34,630 Oh, he's a gentleman. 141 00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:41,290 Thank you guys so much for being my bridesmaids. 142 00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:46,070 You really are the best. Oh, okay. Don't get snappy. Come on, I'm serious. 143 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:48,770 I just love you guys so much. 144 00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,050 Beautiful. They match my necklace. 145 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:06,650 Oh. 146 00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:09,350 Oh, my God. 147 00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:11,130 Calista, thank you. 148 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,610 Put them on. Put them on. Put them on. 149 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,050 Okay. 150 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:22,450 Oh, my gosh. They bring out your eyes. Really? 151 00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,430 Oh, God. Thank you. I cannot believe this. 152 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,550 So, what do you guys want to do now? 153 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,740 To Doug. Hey, lucky bastard. 154 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:44,240 Hey, maybe we should get something to drink. 155 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,120 Yeah, I'll go put in an order. 156 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,120 Is everything okay? 157 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:54,880 Want to do some shots? 158 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:55,979 Do some shots. 159 00:10:55,980 --> 00:11:00,040 Booze won't cover up the emotional stress that rages within me. 160 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,640 Oh, is that why you're breaking out? Oh, great. Now I'm breaking out? 161 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:05,540 The wedding's on Saturday. 162 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,960 Pictures last a lifetime. 163 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,360 I'm kidding. It's a joke. 164 00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,360 Doug, you're getting married, bro. 165 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:12,880 It's a good thing. 166 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,560 All right, cheer up. 167 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,300 Oh, what do we got here? A little whiner? 168 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,980 Yeah. Dude, you should consider yourself lucky. You got a girl like Calista. If 169 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,420 I were you, I would shut my mouth until I said my vows. 170 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,980 Yet a better question. 171 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,790 So what's she like in a sack? 172 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,350 It's only a few more days. 173 00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,230 Wait. 174 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,310 Wait, you mean you haven't slept with her yet? 175 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:46,310 Not exactly. 176 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,750 Doug, I promise I won't freak out. 177 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:52,870 Are you a virgin? 178 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,160 Yeah, I'm freaking out. Holy shit. 179 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:02,340 Doug, life lesson number one. Okay, you cannot get married a virgin. 180 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,980 Why not? Because that saving yourself from marriage bullshit is totally for 181 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,540 dogs. You need to seriously sit down and think about this, man. 182 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,600 Like, would you buy a car without test driving it first? 183 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:17,020 No. Or, I don't know, something as measly as a pair of pants without at 184 00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,020 trying them on once? 185 00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,940 Trying on pants is different. Yeah, because you can throw them away after a 186 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:22,940 or two. 187 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:26,890 Listen, Doug, if you get married to Calypso and you find out you have no 188 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:30,410 chemistry, I mean, I hate to tell you, man, you're going to be miserable the 189 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:31,410 rest of your life. 190 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:34,210 Plus, what if she's hiding something from you? 191 00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:36,530 What if she's got the STDs? 192 00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:42,250 Some girls I hear, they even have tiny, undeveloped penises. 193 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:43,870 What? 194 00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:45,090 Yeah, Google it. 195 00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:50,410 Regardless, man, you have got to kick the tires, okay? This is something that 196 00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:51,410 everybody does. 197 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,800 Oh, my God. 198 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,560 Tiny peanuts? 199 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,240 Yes! 200 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,920 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 201 00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,420 Yes! 202 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:04,760 Doug! Dude, what are you still doing here? You gotta go! Get that girl! Get 203 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,760 Go! Go! 204 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,240 Oh, Doug, wait! 205 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:08,980 What is it, Steve? 206 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,840 There's something you should consider before fornication. What's that? 207 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,120 Protection. 208 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,900 You mean a condom? 209 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,220 Not just any condom. 210 00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:26,270 The Thrill Seeker Deluxe. It's specially designed to provide maximum comfort and 211 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:29,790 protection from STDs. 212 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,230 Thank you, Steve. 213 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:37,570 I will use the Thrill Seeker Deluxe condom from now on to protect me and my 214 00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:39,790 partner. Better safe than sorry. 215 00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:43,310 Thanks, Steve. Oh, and Doug? 216 00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,590 Yeah? Have fun. 217 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,450 Hey, so what was all that stuff about, you know, women with undeveloped 218 00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:56,730 They call them cave trolls. 219 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,270 Cave trolls? Yeah. 220 00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:02,670 They really call them cave trolls. Yeah, well, they being my brother. Your 221 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:03,670 brother? Wow. 222 00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,350 It kind of makes sense if you think about it. 223 00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:09,210 Go for it, buddy. Go for it. Are you guys sure about this? Absolutely, man. 224 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:12,530 I'm telling you, if you don't do her, I'm going to have to. William, stop it. 225 00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:16,350 I'm just trying to light a fire. No, don't. Don't light any fires. No fires. 226 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:17,770 Okay. Bro, good luck. 227 00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:21,450 Absolutely, man. And hey, if you need either one of us, you know, we're 228 00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:24,350 out here, but if you need to get a hold of me, I've got my cell phone. So if you 229 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,950 need me to coach you through anything, just give me... Why don't you just go 230 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:28,950 have a good time? 231 00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:30,610 Okay. 232 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:32,350 Thanks, guys. 233 00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:34,890 I can't do this. 234 00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:36,390 Yes, you can! 235 00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:37,770 No. Yes, you can! 236 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:41,950 No, I mean... She's having her bachelorette party in there. 237 00:14:52,219 --> 00:14:54,120 All right, on three, and then we'll go. 238 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,460 One, 239 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,240 two, three, go, or on three? 240 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,060 I'll say one, two, three. Okay, then I'll say go. 241 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,360 And then we go, guys. 242 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,800 One, two, three, go. 243 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,050 Fuck with that. 244 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:30,230 I think that there's something strange going on. You're damn right there is. 245 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,690 Oh, my God, you guys. This is a dream come true. 246 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,250 What are we still doing out here? Let's go inside. 247 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:41,890 I thought the lesbian bachelorette party, they were just a myth. 248 00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:44,550 That comes to you, man, okay? Look, they're rare, but they do exist. 249 00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:47,550 All right, my friend? Now we need to go inside. Precious minutes are being 250 00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,550 wasted. No. 251 00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:49,910 What? 252 00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,330 They can't know that we're here. 253 00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:52,870 Doug's right. 254 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,810 We're going to have to be real quiet when we sneak in. Fair enough. 255 00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,810 No, we're not supposed to be here, guys. Let's go. 256 00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,970 No. Come on. No. 257 00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,790 No! This is the best thing that ever happened to me, Dallas, and you knocked 258 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,830 that guy away from me! Easy, Jesus. 259 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,790 Okay, it's a bit overdramatic, but I have to say I do agree with the guy. 260 00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:12,330 This is all my fault. 261 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:15,350 I should have stirred that pudding months ago. 262 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,950 She's not cheating on you, man. She's just having some fun, wrestling with her 263 00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:23,190 friends in their panties. With all of her female friends, man, you need to be 264 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,190 happy about this. 265 00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:25,890 Take me home, please. 266 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,070 Doug. 267 00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:34,030 Does he understand the rarity of this? This is awful! 268 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,130 Steve. 269 00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,670 Wait, you think Callista would spill, you know... 270 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,300 Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. 271 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,060 I brought you some snackies. 272 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,560 Thanks, guys. 273 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:03,520 We thought you'd maybe like to talk. 274 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 That'd be great. 275 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:09,740 What's on your mind, Doug? 276 00:17:10,819 --> 00:17:14,440 Mom, Dad, I'm really nervous about Saturday. 277 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,780 I'm worried that I won't be able to please Callista. 278 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,660 You mean sexually? 279 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,220 Yeah. 280 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,500 Oh, honey. 281 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,780 You're a little caged tiger. 282 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,240 You're just waiting to pounce. 283 00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:32,220 What's this? 284 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:39,380 Your mom and I made a tape for you. It should help with your little problem. 285 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,760 It's an instructional video. 286 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,780 It will show you how you can please Callista. 287 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,200 Oh. 288 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,440 Thanks a lot, guys. 289 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:53,200 Well, we'll leave you to it. If you have any questions. 290 00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,030 That's your mom. Thanks. 291 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,330 Sweet dreams. 292 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:08,570 Is the camera on? 293 00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,710 I think so. The red light's on. 294 00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:13,010 Come over here. 295 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,270 Hi, Dougie. 296 00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:19,750 Honey, don't talk to Dougie right now. I'm trying to concentrate. 297 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,810 Oh. 298 00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,110 Oh, Rick, you double. 299 00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:30,570 Do you like it? I do. 300 00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:33,490 Keep going. 301 00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,210 Oh, yeah. That's your spot. 302 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,430 That is the spot. 303 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,070 Right there. Oh, yes, you've tried. 304 00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:45,850 Bad boy. 305 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:50,850 Bad, bad boy. I better discipline myself. 306 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,040 Monica, that's a little too rough. Monica, that's a bit too rough! 307 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:16,560 Jesus! 308 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,020 What is going on with you? 309 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,800 Babe, 310 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,800 what is going on here? 311 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,240 I just want to play. I want to play too, but let's play nice, okay? 312 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,520 What's wrong? 313 00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:33,940 Am I making you nervous? 314 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240 Look, we need to call it a quit. 315 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,640 After dinner. 316 00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:08,460 Doug's room. Doug speaking. 317 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:10,419 Hey, Doug. 318 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:11,420 What are you doing? 319 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,520 Calista, what time is it? 320 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,720 You want to come over for a bit? 321 00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:18,740 No. 322 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,520 I want to grab a bite to eat. 323 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,620 I'm too tired. I'll see you tomorrow. 324 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:25,880 I want some sausage. 325 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:28,840 I'm hanging up now. 326 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,760 happening. That's not happening. 327 00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:01,140 This isn't what I'm... 328 00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:54,750 Do you want me to bring you some soup? 329 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:58,310 No, thanks. I'm really full. 330 00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:02,550 Oh. 331 00:23:03,770 --> 00:23:04,930 Where you been? 332 00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:10,050 Just running off some fast food. 333 00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:12,250 Cool. 334 00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:20,170 Does my doggie woogie need a little ruby? 335 00:23:23,399 --> 00:23:24,440 I'm fine. 336 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,000 Sweet dreams. 337 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,800 I love you. 338 00:23:30,220 --> 00:23:31,220 Me too. 339 00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:35,100 Love you, baby. 340 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,120 Me too. 341 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,160 I don't think I can sleep. 342 00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:16,940 Dougie? 343 00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:18,660 What's wrong? 344 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,700 Are you having trouble sleeping? 345 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,920 Try Extra Strength's Coma Dose. It's guaranteed to give you at least 22 hours 346 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,920 uninterrupted sleep. 347 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,660 It works twice as long as the leading brand and only three times as many side 348 00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:43,470 effects. Our secret to a full day of lucid dreaming is the active ingredient, 349 00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:46,030 which is chemically identical to dropping acid. 350 00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:51,910 But Mom, is that good for me? Is anything really good for you these days? 351 00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:53,710 try it. You'll be addicted. 352 00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:57,030 No thanks. 353 00:24:57,130 --> 00:24:58,470 I just wanted to talk. 354 00:24:58,850 --> 00:24:59,850 About what? 355 00:25:00,670 --> 00:25:02,730 I think Callista's cheating on me. 356 00:25:02,950 --> 00:25:04,230 Oh, that's ridiculous. 357 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:08,270 She's a great girl. What would... Give you such an idea. 358 00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:10,790 I saw her and her ex -boyfriend making whoopee. 359 00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:12,850 What were you doing over there? 360 00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:17,130 She called me for a midnight snack. When I got there, her ex showed up. 361 00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,650 Sometimes appearances can be deceiving. 362 00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:22,050 I don't know. 363 00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:23,550 Pretty sure I saw them together. 364 00:25:24,870 --> 00:25:27,150 Dougie, I'm sorry you had to see all that. 365 00:25:27,430 --> 00:25:31,090 But Calista is a good girl. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for 366 00:25:31,090 --> 00:25:32,090 everything. 367 00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:33,750 I hope so. 368 00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:35,670 I'm having lunch with her tomorrow. 369 00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:37,450 I'll see what I can dig up. 370 00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:41,090 In the meantime, you just try to give her the benefit of the doubt, okay? 371 00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:42,730 Okay. Thanks, Mom. 372 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,070 Now, get some sleep, my little prince. 373 00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:48,950 Don't you worry your little head about this, okay? Good night, Mommy. 374 00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:50,310 Good night, sweetie. 375 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,600 Who's your friend? 376 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,300 He's not my friend. He's just some creep. 377 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,560 Oh, it feels so good. 378 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,520 My God, you're cold. 379 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,480 See you with me. 380 00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,500 Probably just need some rest. 381 00:27:09,980 --> 00:27:11,040 Poor thing. 382 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,860 She's just been sleeping all day. 383 00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:26,620 Maybe she's got mono. 384 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:27,880 What do I do? 385 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,540 Just keep her comfortable. 386 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,660 Mono goes away in like three or four weeks. Three or four weeks? Steve, the 387 00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:34,660 wedding's this weekend. 388 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,240 Stop yelling. 389 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,780 I don't know what to tell you, man. 390 00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:39,520 There's no cure for mono. 391 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,780 I shouldn't have let her out in the cold the other night. 392 00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:45,860 This is all my fault. I should have had a pashmina handy. 393 00:27:46,220 --> 00:27:47,680 A pash... what? No. 394 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,540 Doug, you don't get mono from being out in the cold. 395 00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,360 They call it the kissing disease, man. 396 00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:59,220 You get it from swapping spit with someone who already has mono. 397 00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:01,820 Who would want to trade spit? 398 00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:04,140 That's impossible, Steve. 399 00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:08,280 Maybe he got it from one of the girls. 400 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:13,320 Yeah, go with that. Go with the girls. Maybe she got it from the girls. 401 00:28:14,220 --> 00:28:15,220 Oh, my God. 402 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,440 No. 403 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,879 Oh, no. 404 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,840 No, don't go there. Oh, no. How can I be so stupid? 405 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:26,470 Maybe she traded a drink with someone. No, no, she didn't. 406 00:28:27,390 --> 00:28:28,390 Steve, I gotta go. 407 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:29,490 Doug, don't. 408 00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:29,850 I love your necklace! 409 00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:47,010 else to get. I love you, Dougie. I can marry and have sex. 410 00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:49,670 Marry her, Dougie. 411 00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:52,030 Then you can have lots of sex. 412 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,030 Get you some, son. 413 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,380 I decided I don't care if she is mono. 414 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,120 We're going to get married and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. 415 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,560 Doug, aren't you even concerned about how she got mono? I'll confront her 416 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,100 it. Hey, maybe you're right. Maybe she just shared a drink with somebody. 417 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,960 What if that's not the case? 418 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,160 Well, I'm willing to forgive her. As long as she promises it'll never happen 419 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,480 again. I mean, I love her. I don't want to lose her over something so trivial. 420 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,160 Cheating is hardly trivial. 421 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,680 She's leaving. 422 00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:03,880 Leaving? Yes, and also she's acting very secretive. 423 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,560 Okay, you have to follow her. This could answer everything. 424 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:11,660 Okay, um, I'll call you later. 425 00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:53,380 My girlfriend just went in. I just need one ticket. 426 00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:54,860 You have a girlfriend? 427 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,700 What in the world? Come in here. 428 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,120 Who 429 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:16,040 are 430 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,360 you? You're in over your head, Charlie Brown. 431 00:32:18,910 --> 00:32:20,750 That's my friend. She's not your girlfriend. 432 00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:25,890 It'd be best if you just left before his situation worsens. 433 00:32:32,210 --> 00:32:34,570 I'm Clyde, by the way. I heard you. 434 00:32:34,810 --> 00:32:35,930 Just after the fact. 435 00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:37,890 Doug? 436 00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:40,290 Doug, what are you doing here? 437 00:32:41,670 --> 00:32:42,670 Oh. 438 00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:44,230 Hi. 439 00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:45,750 Cluster, right? 440 00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:47,690 Doug. 441 00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:50,420 I'm just here to watch. 442 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,680 Doug, did you follow me here? 443 00:32:53,660 --> 00:32:54,660 No. 444 00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:57,440 Did you follow me here? 445 00:32:57,660 --> 00:32:59,400 I can't believe you. Why are you following me? 446 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,400 Why are you with another guy? 447 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:02,980 That's my cousin. 448 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,980 He can't make it to the wedding, so we decided to come here together. 449 00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:07,780 Oh. 450 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,820 Well, can I meet him? No. I mean, no, Doug. 451 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,120 I'm mad at you. 452 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,860 Well, what about that Clyde guy? 453 00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:17,700 No. 454 00:33:17,910 --> 00:33:20,310 Clyde can't meet him either. What's going on with you? 455 00:33:20,590 --> 00:33:22,470 Who the hell is Clyde? 456 00:33:22,690 --> 00:33:24,070 Your creepy stalker guy. 457 00:33:25,910 --> 00:33:28,310 Doug, go home. 458 00:33:28,710 --> 00:33:29,810 You're embarrassing yourself. 459 00:33:30,170 --> 00:33:31,109 Okay, then. 460 00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:36,510 Well, I guess I'll just see you at our wedding when we take our sacred vows and 461 00:33:36,510 --> 00:33:37,850 declare our undying fatality. 462 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:53,449 She what? 463 00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:54,450 What's going on? 464 00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:57,410 I'm not doing too good, man. 465 00:33:58,410 --> 00:33:59,730 Where are you right now? 466 00:33:59,990 --> 00:34:04,030 I'm just in my car, bleeding. Can you meet me at my house in 15 minutes? 467 00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:06,090 All right, I'll be over there in 15 minutes. 468 00:34:06,890 --> 00:34:09,330 Okay, I'll call William. See you soon. 469 00:34:11,909 --> 00:34:12,909 You're crazy. 470 00:34:12,929 --> 00:34:17,110 And I know crazy chicks, Doug. I grew up with five sisters, and they don't get 471 00:34:17,110 --> 00:34:18,110 on the same cycle. 472 00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:21,550 It's absolutely insane, Doug, and this is way worse. 473 00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:23,190 Okay. Calm down. 474 00:34:23,409 --> 00:34:26,170 There has to be a rational explanation for this. An explanation? 475 00:34:26,590 --> 00:34:27,590 For this? 476 00:34:27,889 --> 00:34:28,889 Okay, 477 00:34:30,310 --> 00:34:32,250 I admit, that's a little strange. 478 00:34:32,730 --> 00:34:33,730 Where's Tammy now? 479 00:34:34,330 --> 00:34:36,489 I don't know. She went off into the woods. 480 00:34:36,750 --> 00:34:38,510 Into the woods? Well, that's not safe. 481 00:34:38,929 --> 00:34:43,110 Safe? Doug, I'm pretty sure if Tammy gets attacked by a deer, she's gonna be 482 00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:44,110 okay. 483 00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,350 Maybe this was a misunderstanding. 484 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:48,730 Maybe this is just the way that she fights. 485 00:34:49,010 --> 00:34:51,830 No, no, no, no. When she fights, she just gets all real cute. 486 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:54,420 So does Calista. 487 00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,260 Little bunny rabbits that you want to fight with. 488 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:01,960 No! 489 00:35:06,660 --> 00:35:07,740 This is awful! 490 00:35:08,460 --> 00:35:09,439 Where's William? 491 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,540 I called him, and it went straight to his voicemail. 492 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,800 So like William. 493 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,900 Wait a second, I got it! It's rabies! Where? 494 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,920 Calista! We thought she had mono? It must have been rabies! 495 00:35:22,270 --> 00:35:25,310 Tammy must have given it to her when they were playing Twister in their 496 00:35:25,310 --> 00:35:26,310 underwear. 497 00:35:27,630 --> 00:35:28,630 Okay. 498 00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:30,730 I'll buy it. That makes sense. 499 00:35:31,970 --> 00:35:33,310 You just need your shots. 500 00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:35,650 Come on, let's get you to the emergency room. 501 00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:40,650 Okay. Now I know what a hooker in Miami feels like. 502 00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:57,930 Steve, something is definitely wrong. 503 00:35:59,770 --> 00:36:01,210 Steve loves cocks. 504 00:36:08,690 --> 00:36:09,870 It's pretty funny, though. 505 00:36:11,050 --> 00:36:12,050 That's me. 506 00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:13,070 All right, follow me. 507 00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:22,690 Okay, I'm going to have to give you a shot to stay off infection. 508 00:36:23,510 --> 00:36:24,810 You think it's rabies? 509 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,380 I'm not at liberty to diagnose, but the doctor will be in shortly. 510 00:36:30,580 --> 00:36:35,760 Now, I'm going to need you to pull... Roll up my sleeve. You got it. Here you 511 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,360 go. No, I need you to pull down your pants. 512 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,800 This kind of shot can only be administered in the buttock. 513 00:36:42,580 --> 00:36:43,580 All right. 514 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,120 Doug, pants me. 515 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,240 And also, face the wall. 516 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,580 Okay. You guys wait here. 517 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,400 I'm gonna see what's going on. 518 00:37:13,980 --> 00:37:15,280 I'll call you if I need backup. 519 00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:17,060 Are you sure? 520 00:37:18,060 --> 00:37:19,060 Yeah. 521 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,400 I got this. 522 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,240 Hey, Doug. 523 00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:27,620 Yeah, Steve? 524 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,260 Just text me, though, because I don't have any more daytime minutes. 525 00:37:34,900 --> 00:37:37,440 Okay. I'll text you if I need backup. 526 00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:45,940 Doug yes, Steve My phone's probably gonna die All 527 00:37:45,940 --> 00:37:51,560 right robot you're running back up on this one 528 00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:15,130 Not yet, Mrs. Barnes. The wedding's on Saturday. 529 00:38:16,050 --> 00:38:19,330 Well, you two certainly have been carrying on like newlyweds. 530 00:38:22,970 --> 00:38:24,810 Doug! Mrs. Barnes! 531 00:38:25,090 --> 00:38:26,450 There she is. 532 00:38:26,650 --> 00:38:28,210 Oh, the two lovebirds together. 533 00:38:28,770 --> 00:38:29,830 Let's see that ring. 534 00:38:31,450 --> 00:38:32,630 I have to get a manicure. 535 00:38:33,330 --> 00:38:36,170 Well, have you seen Peanut? 536 00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:38,890 I thought I heard him barking over here. 537 00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:41,510 No, Mrs. Barnes. I will keep my eyes peeled. 538 00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:48,760 Strange. My eyes may be shot, but my ears are just as good as an 18 -year 539 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:49,760 -old's. 540 00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:52,460 Peter! 541 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:54,700 Peter! 542 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,120 Doug! 543 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,440 What's all over your chest? 544 00:39:06,180 --> 00:39:08,520 I picked up a couple of Hardee's on the way home. 545 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:10,420 Those burgers do get all over the place. 546 00:39:12,010 --> 00:39:13,290 Why are you eating so much? 547 00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:18,650 Doug? Aren't you trying to fit into a wedding dress? You're getting a belly. 548 00:39:18,950 --> 00:39:24,910 I mean, actually, you are not getting a belly. You are getting thinner. It just 549 00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:27,210 must be the way that that top lays over you. 550 00:39:27,790 --> 00:39:29,850 I thought you were getting lunch with my mom today. 551 00:39:30,190 --> 00:39:31,350 Yeah, I had her for lunch. 552 00:39:32,410 --> 00:39:34,850 Here, I had her over here for lunch. 553 00:39:36,790 --> 00:39:38,810 Are you really going to wear that necklace at the wedding? 554 00:39:41,710 --> 00:39:43,170 Look, you're acting really strange lately. 555 00:39:43,470 --> 00:39:44,470 What's your problem? 556 00:39:45,290 --> 00:39:51,130 Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know we promised to save 557 00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:52,470 ourselves for each other. 558 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:57,650 Look, all I want to be with is you, but if you feel like you want to be with 559 00:39:57,650 --> 00:40:02,570 someone else before we make this commitment till death do us part and 560 00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:04,630 I'm okay with that. What? 561 00:40:04,950 --> 00:40:07,370 Why would I want that? I love you. 562 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,360 I just get this feeling. 563 00:40:12,020 --> 00:40:13,020 I'm confused. 564 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:16,100 Okay, look. 565 00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,360 I came over to your house the other night after you called me. 566 00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:22,980 What? I saw you with your ex -boyfriend. 567 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:24,440 What? 568 00:40:24,900 --> 00:40:26,860 Brad? Oh, my gosh. 569 00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:32,340 I don't know what to think. I want this marriage to be built on trust. 570 00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:36,140 Well, then do you have a logical explanation on why he came over here? 571 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,480 I can't believe you even asked that. 572 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,980 Just, just go home. 573 00:40:53,260 --> 00:40:54,680 You want to put some music on? 574 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,460 Calista! Oh my god, Doug! 575 00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:03,060 Geez, that scared me. 576 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,400 I thought you were leaving. 577 00:41:05,820 --> 00:41:09,660 I'm sorry that I came over to your house the other night when I said I wasn't 578 00:41:09,660 --> 00:41:10,660 going to. 579 00:41:10,990 --> 00:41:11,990 Is that an apology? 580 00:41:12,430 --> 00:41:14,150 Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't trust you. 581 00:41:14,650 --> 00:41:15,650 You're so sweet. 582 00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,310 What's wrong with you? 583 00:41:18,870 --> 00:41:20,310 Calista, you have fangs? 584 00:41:20,590 --> 00:41:21,590 No, I don't. 585 00:41:21,830 --> 00:41:25,230 Yes, you do. I'm staring at them right now. 586 00:41:25,770 --> 00:41:26,770 Oh, those. 587 00:41:28,270 --> 00:41:31,370 I went to the dentist today and he gave me these implants. 588 00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:35,470 I've been having trouble chewing meat lately and he said these would help. 589 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:36,910 What do you think? 590 00:41:38,570 --> 00:41:39,570 I don't know. 591 00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:40,900 It's pretty weird. 592 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,120 Would you be acting that way if I got glasses? 593 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,920 No. Glasses aren't a big deal. 594 00:41:47,420 --> 00:41:48,480 Those things are scary. 595 00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:52,660 Wait, Calista! 596 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,580 Is this what you came over here to do? Make fun of me? 597 00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:02,940 No. 598 00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:07,000 I came here to make it with you. 599 00:42:08,430 --> 00:42:09,770 Oh, it's really romantic. 600 00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:14,430 What was your plan if I didn't want to? Or did you even consider my feelings? 601 00:42:17,730 --> 00:42:18,910 Is that Peanut's collar? 602 00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:21,550 Oh, that? 603 00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:22,650 Yeah. 604 00:42:23,890 --> 00:42:24,890 Found it in the hallway. 605 00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,190 What are you making? 606 00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:33,550 So you want to do me or what? 607 00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,470 Ouchie! 608 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:38,600 Oh, God. 609 00:42:38,780 --> 00:42:39,780 Wait. 610 00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:43,900 Wait, 611 00:42:44,820 --> 00:42:45,820 what's that? 612 00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:47,860 Those are my new shoes. You all right? 613 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:49,880 Do they come with feet in them? 614 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:53,920 Mom? 615 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,760 How'd she get under there? 616 00:43:01,660 --> 00:43:03,820 Calista, what is going on? 617 00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:05,940 You've been acting strange. 618 00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:09,060 I've caught you sneaking around with other men. 619 00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:11,480 I've been hearing strange sounds. 620 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:15,280 Not to mention your kisses have been a little toothy lately. 621 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:21,560 If there's a rational explanation for this, now is the time to tell me. 622 00:43:22,580 --> 00:43:27,820 Okay, Doug, we're getting married tomorrow, and I want to be completely 623 00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:28,820 with you. 624 00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:35,280 I like the taste of blood. Not always, just lately. 625 00:43:37,670 --> 00:43:38,670 You what? 626 00:43:38,890 --> 00:43:42,690 I admit, I've killed... a 627 00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:46,910 few people lately. 628 00:43:47,530 --> 00:43:48,530 I'm sorry. 629 00:43:48,890 --> 00:43:52,210 What are you talking about? Why would you kill people? 630 00:43:52,450 --> 00:43:53,590 Was it self -defense? 631 00:43:53,850 --> 00:43:54,850 I don't know. 632 00:43:57,390 --> 00:44:00,590 So last night, you killed Brad? 633 00:44:02,010 --> 00:44:03,650 Yeah. Okay. 634 00:44:04,330 --> 00:44:05,330 Cool. 635 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,080 Who called me? 636 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,640 Were you gonna kill me? No! 637 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,840 No, I truly just wanted the Leepo sausage. 638 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,740 They do make a good sausage. 639 00:44:18,540 --> 00:44:19,840 They're open 24 hours. 640 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:21,680 Just for the summer. 641 00:44:24,340 --> 00:44:25,340 Doug, listen. 642 00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:28,280 It's like there's something inside me. 643 00:44:28,860 --> 00:44:30,680 Like I have a disease or something. 644 00:44:43,460 --> 00:44:44,460 Doug, wait. 645 00:44:45,540 --> 00:44:47,940 Melissa, I need some time to think about this. 646 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,460 And if you have a disease, I don't want to catch it. 647 00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:52,300 I still love you, Doug. 648 00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:57,020 I think you have rabies. We need to get you to a hospital. No, no hospital. 649 00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,240 But honey, it's a hospital. 650 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:00,520 We can make this work. 651 00:45:00,980 --> 00:45:02,040 Let's get married tomorrow. 652 00:45:13,290 --> 00:45:15,530 Sure, you'll just kill me on our honeymoon. 653 00:45:15,790 --> 00:45:16,669 No biggie. 654 00:45:16,670 --> 00:45:19,570 I promise I won't. I love you, silly. 655 00:45:25,850 --> 00:45:26,850 Well? 656 00:45:34,270 --> 00:45:35,270 She's fine. 657 00:45:36,550 --> 00:45:37,550 Fine? 658 00:45:37,930 --> 00:45:39,310 Complete misunderstanding. 659 00:45:39,550 --> 00:45:41,290 We're going to go through with the wedding. 660 00:45:41,550 --> 00:45:42,550 She's totally... 661 00:45:43,180 --> 00:45:48,180 Doug, I've had a long day today. Do not lie to me. I'm not a liar. 662 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:50,780 He's totally cool. 663 00:45:55,260 --> 00:45:55,780 All 664 00:45:55,780 --> 00:46:05,540 right, 665 00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:07,120 fix your tie here. Hold on. 666 00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,040 A little smudgy -do here. 667 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,520 Hey, can I ask you something? 668 00:46:18,980 --> 00:46:19,980 Yeah man, anything. 669 00:46:22,460 --> 00:46:23,820 What do you think of Calista? 670 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,340 I think she's great. 671 00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,100 What are you talking about? 672 00:46:29,900 --> 00:46:31,300 I think we have a problem. 673 00:46:50,740 --> 00:46:51,740 Come on! 674 00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:54,700 Guys, thanks a lot, but I really think this is unnecessary. 675 00:46:55,340 --> 00:46:58,780 Doug, come back to Earth. Something is going on here. 676 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,120 Okay. 677 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,600 Well, 678 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,220 she's not cheating on you. 679 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:15,360 Told you. 680 00:47:17,620 --> 00:47:19,960 I think we better hurry. The wedding's starting. 681 00:47:20,910 --> 00:47:21,910 Okay. 682 00:47:22,270 --> 00:47:23,270 Wait. 683 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,460 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the holy 684 00:48:10,460 --> 00:48:16,720 matrimony of Doug Shepard and Calista DeFord. 685 00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,840 I'm just going to skip around a little bit here. 686 00:48:22,980 --> 00:48:29,000 If anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be joined, please 687 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,840 speak now or forever hold your peace. 688 00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:37,750 What are your objections? 689 00:48:38,910 --> 00:48:44,590 Uh... I just have some doubts about her fidelity and whether she'd make a good 690 00:48:44,590 --> 00:48:47,430 mother and... Oh, yeah. She eats people! 691 00:48:49,130 --> 00:48:51,090 Don't listen to them, Dougie. Kiss them. 692 00:48:52,470 --> 00:48:53,470 Okay. 693 00:48:59,690 --> 00:49:02,250 Um... Which time's it? 694 00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,450 I just need a minute. Uh... I'm going to be right back. 695 00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:07,730 Okay? 696 00:49:08,190 --> 00:49:11,250 Can we talk? Yeah, let's go. All right. 697 00:49:15,270 --> 00:49:16,270 Okay. 698 00:49:17,050 --> 00:49:21,110 We're going to take a short break here, everybody. So there are refreshments. 699 00:49:28,150 --> 00:49:29,250 You can't do this. 700 00:49:29,590 --> 00:49:30,690 She's trying to kill you. 701 00:49:31,910 --> 00:49:32,970 Don't be ridiculous. 702 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:34,820 She's not trying to kill me. 703 00:49:35,900 --> 00:49:40,780 Okay, I admit, maybe she has rabies. That doesn't mean she wants me dead. She 704 00:49:40,780 --> 00:49:46,020 loves me. Doug, denial can be a dangerous game. 705 00:49:46,660 --> 00:49:51,520 It can lead to alienation, lies, and depression. 706 00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:58,340 Symptoms include withdrawing from conversation, outrageous stories, 707 00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:05,020 outbursts, overeating, chronic masturbation, And migraine headaches. 708 00:50:05,580 --> 00:50:10,800 If you suffer from any of these symptoms, please seek help today. 709 00:50:12,380 --> 00:50:14,480 I feel empty inside all the time. 710 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,120 Is there help for me? 711 00:50:16,420 --> 00:50:17,420 Yes. 712 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,700 Pick up that phone and change your... 713 00:50:35,310 --> 00:50:36,970 Evening. It's you! 714 00:50:37,790 --> 00:50:41,690 Can I have this at all? 715 00:50:42,150 --> 00:50:43,150 Cheese? 716 00:50:45,070 --> 00:50:46,070 Grape? 717 00:50:48,030 --> 00:50:49,030 Cracker? 718 00:50:50,830 --> 00:50:52,130 Sit yourself. 719 00:50:52,830 --> 00:50:54,430 Oh, come on. 720 00:50:57,130 --> 00:51:03,750 I'm here to help with your woman problems. 721 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,120 Who are you? 722 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,160 What's your name, son? I'm Clyde. 723 00:51:08,460 --> 00:51:09,760 Steve. Steve? 724 00:51:09,980 --> 00:51:11,520 Doug and I already know each other. 725 00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:17,460 All right, Clyde. We're kind of in the middle of something, so... Well, let me 726 00:51:17,460 --> 00:51:18,460 get right to the point. 727 00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:20,960 You gotta kill your girlfriends. 728 00:51:21,380 --> 00:51:25,680 What? Kill them all. Kill them till they're dead. The sooner the better. 729 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,120 Because it's only gonna get worse. 730 00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:32,860 Okay. We'll get right on that, Clyde. We'll go kill our girlfriends. 731 00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,660 And then maybe we'll pee on some old people and try to drive a car with our 732 00:51:36,660 --> 00:51:39,400 feet. Yeah, that would be a lot of fun. Okay, time to go. 733 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:40,419 Let's go. 734 00:51:40,420 --> 00:51:41,420 Ah, what the? 735 00:51:42,820 --> 00:51:45,400 Your little lady has a thirst for blood, my friend. 736 00:51:45,820 --> 00:51:50,680 Oh, way ahead of you, Clyde. Talking about the rabies. I got it, and it's 737 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,180 control. She's not your girl anymore, son. 738 00:51:54,460 --> 00:51:57,520 And it's definitely not rabies we're talking about. 739 00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,880 She's a cold -blooded killer. 740 00:52:01,710 --> 00:52:04,310 And she's going to kill everyone she can. 741 00:52:05,050 --> 00:52:07,970 Because that's the only way she'll survive. 742 00:52:09,310 --> 00:52:14,450 All right. We're going to play a little game called Crazy Guy with the Hammer. 743 00:52:14,570 --> 00:52:16,610 Has to leave us alone now. 744 00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:17,910 All right. You win. 745 00:52:18,290 --> 00:52:22,670 So there you go. Your prize is a two to go. If you don't kill him, I'm going to 746 00:52:22,670 --> 00:52:23,368 have to. 747 00:52:23,370 --> 00:52:25,270 And it won't be pretty. 748 00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:40,870 I think Clyde might be right. 749 00:52:41,170 --> 00:52:43,910 Hey, aren't you Callista's neighbor? Thanks for coming, man. 750 00:52:44,270 --> 00:52:45,270 Oh, yeah, sure. 751 00:52:45,410 --> 00:52:50,190 Callista's a cool girl and all, but I haven't seen some crazy stuff here 752 00:52:50,510 --> 00:52:53,630 Really? Uh -huh. Hey, your girlfriend Tammy? 753 00:52:54,290 --> 00:52:55,510 Man, you better watch out. 754 00:52:56,230 --> 00:53:02,010 I don't think we should tell anybody about this. Yeah, Doug's right. We don't 755 00:53:02,010 --> 00:53:05,330 want people thinking we're crazy like Ernest kills demons out there. 756 00:53:05,550 --> 00:53:07,630 Yeah, and they might kill our girlfriends. 757 00:53:08,130 --> 00:53:09,130 True. 758 00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:10,770 So what do we do? 759 00:53:11,830 --> 00:53:14,150 We just have to keep them all in one place. 760 00:53:14,590 --> 00:53:18,290 Make sure they don't do anything crazy. Yeah, like kill our moms. 761 00:53:18,670 --> 00:53:22,990 Okay, you know what? That just happened. I'm still kind of getting over it. 762 00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:26,570 Alright. Besides, I think this whole thing will just pass. 763 00:53:26,890 --> 00:53:31,150 Yeah, because I'm pretty sure eternal demonism just goes away like a sore 764 00:53:31,150 --> 00:53:35,630 does. We just have to keep our guards up in case anything happens. 765 00:53:37,270 --> 00:53:38,270 I'm scared. 766 00:53:39,570 --> 00:53:40,570 Thank you. 767 00:54:16,750 --> 00:54:20,510 I killed some of your family. I hope you don't mind. Yeah, I kind of mind. Where 768 00:54:20,510 --> 00:54:21,510 are the girls? 769 00:54:22,430 --> 00:54:23,430 They escaped. 770 00:54:24,050 --> 00:54:25,690 We better find them fast. 771 00:54:27,030 --> 00:54:28,170 Weirdo's right. Let's go. 772 00:54:31,390 --> 00:54:32,390 Hey, you okay? 773 00:54:34,550 --> 00:54:36,730 This isn't exactly how I planned my wedding. 774 00:54:37,930 --> 00:54:38,930 Yeah. 775 00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:40,990 These things never go how you think they will. 776 00:54:41,210 --> 00:54:44,210 The best thing you can do is just try to roll with the punches, you know. 777 00:54:56,490 --> 00:54:59,210 There should be enough stuff in here to kill all your girlfriends. 778 00:54:59,710 --> 00:55:01,870 Will you quit saying that? What? 779 00:55:02,290 --> 00:55:03,730 I don't know if I can do this. 780 00:55:04,030 --> 00:55:05,030 Man up, boy. 781 00:55:05,210 --> 00:55:06,550 This will put hair on your chest. 782 00:55:06,890 --> 00:55:08,890 I don't want any hair on my chest. 783 00:55:09,550 --> 00:55:12,730 So, they're supposed to kill people with this stuff. Not people. 784 00:55:13,430 --> 00:55:14,610 Eternal demons. 785 00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:18,290 How do you know so much about these demons? 786 00:55:19,170 --> 00:55:21,270 You learn a lot of things here at the park. 787 00:55:22,029 --> 00:55:24,410 battling eternal demons is just part of the job. 788 00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:26,410 Well, how'd you find out how to kill them? 789 00:55:27,210 --> 00:55:29,010 Actually, I didn't. Not yet. 790 00:55:29,330 --> 00:55:30,330 Wait, what? 791 00:55:31,130 --> 00:55:32,130 They all got away. 792 00:55:33,350 --> 00:55:35,270 What do you mean, they got away? 793 00:55:35,510 --> 00:55:38,550 You mean you don't even know if this stuff worked? Well, I don't know if it 794 00:55:38,550 --> 00:55:40,570 won't. Well, he has a point. 795 00:55:41,250 --> 00:55:42,730 I mean, it worked with Father Price. 796 00:55:43,910 --> 00:55:44,910 True. 797 00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:50,330 Actually, to be 100 % up front with you all, I'm not... 798 00:55:50,670 --> 00:55:52,430 certain that he was possessed. 799 00:55:58,690 --> 00:55:59,810 Get certain! 800 00:56:00,690 --> 00:56:03,230 Okay? You better be right about this. 801 00:56:09,250 --> 00:56:13,570 Maybe Calista just thinks she has to kill people. 802 00:56:13,970 --> 00:56:15,810 You know, dreams can be really realistic. 803 00:56:16,150 --> 00:56:17,530 For example, right now. 804 00:56:18,030 --> 00:56:20,490 This dream is very realistic. 805 00:56:21,090 --> 00:56:25,070 Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug! 806 00:56:25,810 --> 00:56:26,709 Hello, 807 00:56:26,710 --> 00:56:27,930 lover boy. 808 00:56:28,590 --> 00:56:31,070 Your family is dead, remember? 809 00:56:31,550 --> 00:56:36,210 Yeah, and as I recall, you were the only one I saw killing anyone. 810 00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:41,950 Yeah. Don't stab me if I'm wrong here, Clyde, but I think it's appropriate to 811 00:56:41,950 --> 00:56:46,060 say... that you probably did kill most of the people back there. Maybe so. 812 00:56:46,300 --> 00:56:48,400 Maybe so, but I did it to save you. 813 00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:50,600 We're losing time. 814 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:05,720 Ben? 815 00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,340 Doug? 816 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,800 We must be careful in here. 817 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:16,580 Not only are we on the lookout for eternal demons Wild animals are 818 00:57:16,580 --> 00:57:19,180 Stay focused 819 00:57:39,950 --> 00:57:41,750 That was a defenseless animal. 820 00:57:42,190 --> 00:57:43,710 It's just the beginning, soldiers. 821 00:57:53,490 --> 00:57:54,490 Clyde? 822 00:58:20,780 --> 00:58:23,240 Folklore only happens in the movies. 823 00:59:55,210 --> 00:59:56,210 I'm gonna save Callista! 824 00:59:58,050 --> 01:00:01,670 I think you're gonna have to suck on his legs some more. 825 01:00:24,570 --> 01:00:30,110 Work them and walk. Two, three, four. Up. Lift those knees. Ladies back. Other 826 01:00:30,110 --> 01:00:35,830 way. Come on up. Up. Up. Up. And south. Shoulders. And south. That's it, homies. 827 01:00:35,830 --> 01:00:36,830 South. South. 828 01:01:45,580 --> 01:01:49,380 to the big dance routine, which was really pretty fun, wasn't it? Wow, I 829 01:01:49,380 --> 01:01:50,640 that exercise. That felt great. 830 01:01:51,580 --> 01:01:55,760 Well, anyhow, we followed Doug, who followed Callista, who followed her 831 01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:57,080 insatiable thirst for blood. 832 01:01:57,660 --> 01:02:01,080 Well, I didn't think that Doug was going to go in there. What he's trying to say 833 01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,560 is Doug and Callista are in the barn. 834 01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:06,020 Ah, the moments of truth. 835 01:02:12,900 --> 01:02:13,900 Okay, 836 01:02:14,580 --> 01:02:15,580 Doug. 837 01:02:16,030 --> 01:02:18,670 Mind over matter, my friend. 838 01:02:20,210 --> 01:02:21,210 It's cool. 839 01:02:21,590 --> 01:02:23,690 No big deal. It's just a barn. 840 01:02:24,130 --> 01:02:27,190 Yeah, a creepy old barn. Breathe. 841 01:02:28,750 --> 01:02:30,030 Just a dream. 842 01:02:30,270 --> 01:02:33,010 It's all just a dream. 843 01:02:34,890 --> 01:02:36,870 Day drawn. 844 01:02:38,150 --> 01:02:39,270 Fall, buddy. 845 01:02:41,110 --> 01:02:42,150 Well, fall. 846 01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:44,880 Hi, Dougie. 847 01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:47,360 Kiss me. 848 01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:52,120 Oh, how cute. You're nervous. 849 01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,220 Mommy! That's a weird thing to say. 850 01:02:55,740 --> 01:02:56,740 Kathy? 851 01:02:58,540 --> 01:03:00,120 I'm sorry about the wedding, babe. 852 01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,180 It's just cute. This is our honeymoon. 853 01:03:03,220 --> 01:03:04,220 I'm scared. 854 01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:06,780 So am I, but we've waited for this forever. 855 01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:11,580 I know, but I don't want to be immortal or anything. 856 01:03:12,620 --> 01:03:15,080 I thought we wanted to be together forever, my love. 857 01:03:15,300 --> 01:03:17,120 I do, but I don't know what happened to you. 858 01:03:19,100 --> 01:03:20,140 I don't know either. 859 01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:33,600 I've dreamed of our wedding for as long as 860 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:34,600 I can remember. 861 01:03:36,140 --> 01:03:37,140 Your touch. 862 01:03:37,620 --> 01:03:38,620 Your face. 863 01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:41,970 I love you so deeply, Doug. 864 01:03:43,130 --> 01:03:45,050 Your mom and I planned for so long. 865 01:03:47,910 --> 01:03:48,910 Look at me. 866 01:03:49,010 --> 01:03:51,890 I can't even talk these fucking things. You think I feel normal? 867 01:03:53,930 --> 01:03:56,150 I thought I'd be the most beautiful bride ever. 868 01:03:57,650 --> 01:03:59,010 All I want is you, Dougie. 869 01:04:03,410 --> 01:04:04,410 Dougie! 870 01:04:04,730 --> 01:04:07,990 Dougie! Just shut up. I can't concentrate. 871 01:04:08,350 --> 01:04:09,350 Look into my eyes. 872 01:04:09,610 --> 01:04:11,770 All that matters is you and I. You're not helping! 873 01:04:12,230 --> 01:04:13,770 We're with Ted Ducky. I have to tell you something. 874 01:04:14,010 --> 01:04:14,988 What? 875 01:04:14,990 --> 01:04:15,990 I'm pregnant. 876 01:04:17,570 --> 01:04:18,630 I'm having your baby. 877 01:04:20,090 --> 01:04:21,170 Well, we didn't do it. 878 01:04:21,870 --> 01:04:23,250 How could I have gotten you pregnant? 879 01:04:24,250 --> 01:04:28,330 Remember that game I taught you where you play the blindfolded paralyzed 880 01:04:28,330 --> 01:04:29,330 and I play the nurse? 881 01:04:30,390 --> 01:04:31,390 Yeah. 882 01:04:32,930 --> 01:04:33,930 That's sex. 883 01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:39,300 I did it because I love you, and I was really horny. 884 01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,320 I taught my mom that game. 885 01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:45,840 Don't worry, Doug. 886 01:04:46,980 --> 01:04:47,980 I hate her. 887 01:04:52,140 --> 01:04:56,360 I will not go easily, Dougie! 888 01:05:57,430 --> 01:05:59,330 I think we're going to be fine. 889 01:06:07,690 --> 01:06:08,690 I trust Doug. 890 01:06:09,070 --> 01:06:10,790 I think he's going to make the right decision. 891 01:06:13,070 --> 01:06:14,930 Whoa! What are they doing? 892 01:06:15,550 --> 01:06:17,670 They're just kind of rolling in the hay. 893 01:06:47,630 --> 01:06:48,630 I'm not. 894 01:06:48,810 --> 01:06:49,810 You maybe. 895 01:06:50,870 --> 01:06:53,910 Doug. You did kill a lot of people. 896 01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:54,988 I know. 897 01:06:54,990 --> 01:06:56,090 I feel terrible. 898 01:06:59,030 --> 01:07:00,030 Doug? 899 01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:01,350 Yeah? 900 01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:03,790 I don't want to die. 901 01:07:05,710 --> 01:07:08,430 I don't want to kill you. 902 01:07:14,210 --> 01:07:15,930 Holy moly! Callista! 903 01:07:16,210 --> 01:07:17,770 What? You're beautiful! 904 01:07:18,050 --> 01:07:19,050 Look! 905 01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:21,310 How did this happen? 906 01:07:22,090 --> 01:07:25,210 It must be my magic weenie juice. 907 01:07:25,590 --> 01:07:29,450 Hey, I bet if we do it again, you'll turn into Heidi Klint. Oh my gosh! 908 01:07:30,470 --> 01:07:31,970 Remember that pendant I found? 909 01:07:32,590 --> 01:07:35,790 Yeah. I still think I'd look good in that, by the way. 910 01:07:39,270 --> 01:07:43,290 Doug, everything's becoming so clear to me. Yeah, I have that effect on the 911 01:07:43,290 --> 01:07:44,810 lady. How would you know? 912 01:07:45,420 --> 01:07:47,100 Well, maybe round two will be more telling. 913 01:07:47,860 --> 01:07:51,100 No, no, no. Seriously, everything's becoming so clear to me. You know, I'd 914 01:07:51,100 --> 01:07:53,180 coming if you'd stop talking so much. 915 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,400 Okay, the green stone in this necklace is what possessed my mom ten years ago. 916 01:07:58,100 --> 01:08:00,480 It must have been what possessed me. 917 01:08:00,700 --> 01:08:01,920 It must have been cursed or something. 918 01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:04,820 Oh, my God, the girls are still wearing their earrings. 919 01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:10,720 We have to stop them. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. No more killing. It's the 920 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:14,480 way to save innocent people. I thought my unit was the only way to save them. 921 01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:16,899 Come on, we're running out of time. 922 01:08:24,060 --> 01:08:25,060 What happened? 923 01:08:27,359 --> 01:08:28,460 Speak, mortal. 924 01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:34,380 Why do you have to be so weird? Why can't you just be normal for five 925 01:08:34,380 --> 01:08:35,920 just want to know what's going on. 926 01:08:38,180 --> 01:08:39,180 Doug! Doug! 927 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:40,520 Are you okay? 928 01:08:41,140 --> 01:08:42,939 Did you kill Callista? 929 01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:44,380 I... 930 01:08:45,970 --> 01:08:48,790 Fixer. Is that what you're calling it these days? 931 01:08:49,029 --> 01:08:49,788 Come on. 932 01:08:49,790 --> 01:08:53,390 Let's find those girls before they do any more damage. But they ran off into 933 01:08:53,390 --> 01:08:55,890 woods. Which is not our forte. 934 01:08:56,729 --> 01:08:58,229 That won't be a problem. 935 01:08:59,109 --> 01:09:03,850 I planted a remote exploding device on one of the little honeys during our 936 01:09:03,850 --> 01:09:04,850 little dance. 937 01:09:05,029 --> 01:09:07,350 Where did you get a remote explosive device? 938 01:09:07,870 --> 01:09:11,450 I use them here at the park, killing bees and groundhogs. 939 01:09:12,010 --> 01:09:13,630 Bees? I'm allergic. 940 01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:15,120 Can't get too close. 941 01:09:15,979 --> 01:09:22,740 All I gotta do is flip this here toggle switch and hope that we're close enough 942 01:09:22,740 --> 01:09:24,899 that we can hear her explode. 943 01:09:26,180 --> 01:09:27,180 Wait, don't! 944 01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:30,220 Do you remember which girl you planted the bomb on? 945 01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:33,979 Uh, yeah. Uh, C -Cups, uh, black hair, trying to kill me. 946 01:09:34,279 --> 01:09:36,960 Oh, okay. That's Monica. Yeah, flip the switch. 947 01:09:42,910 --> 01:09:43,910 She's close. 948 01:09:47,830 --> 01:09:48,830 Tammy, don't. 949 01:09:49,450 --> 01:09:53,750 Tammy. Tammy, where are you? It's me, Stevie Weeby. I still love you. 950 01:09:54,290 --> 01:09:55,950 Oh, Doug, I got to get out of here. 951 01:09:56,330 --> 01:10:00,370 I know what to do. I'll just fist her like you fisted Calista. Wait, Steve 952 01:10:00,610 --> 01:10:01,610 Okay, baby. 953 01:10:01,750 --> 01:10:06,110 Let's go to the barn, and then you can have all my flesh. 954 01:10:07,030 --> 01:10:09,310 Flesh, get it? Oh, that's a funny joke. Yeah, right? 955 01:10:09,590 --> 01:10:10,590 Come on, baby. 956 01:10:12,330 --> 01:10:14,650 I forgot to tell you! Where are they running off to? 957 01:10:16,110 --> 01:10:19,250 Tammy is about to be repeatedly stabbed by little Stevie. 958 01:10:19,710 --> 01:10:21,010 But he doesn't have a weapon. 959 01:10:21,270 --> 01:10:22,610 Different kind of stabbing. 960 01:10:23,310 --> 01:10:24,890 Jiminy Christmas on wheels. 961 01:10:25,290 --> 01:10:27,570 Well, he has to get close enough to reverse the damage. 962 01:10:27,970 --> 01:10:28,970 Reverse the damage? 963 01:10:29,470 --> 01:10:32,150 What in the devil's red toilet are you talking about? 964 01:10:32,470 --> 01:10:34,110 Look at me. I'm cured. 965 01:10:34,570 --> 01:10:37,010 Then all it took was fornication. 966 01:10:37,670 --> 01:10:38,790 Fornication is right! 967 01:10:51,050 --> 01:10:52,210 Sorry, Tammy. Sorry, Steve. 968 01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:56,330 Sorry, Tammy. I'm not trying to touch your boobies. I mean, they're really 969 01:10:56,330 --> 01:10:58,590 boobies, but it's just I'm trying to rescue you. Don't you understand? 970 01:11:00,330 --> 01:11:01,330 No! 971 01:11:01,970 --> 01:11:03,670 No! Why would you do that? 972 01:11:04,710 --> 01:11:05,710 No! 973 01:11:06,530 --> 01:11:08,310 Look at her and look at me, man. 974 01:11:09,010 --> 01:11:10,010 This doesn't happen. 975 01:11:10,370 --> 01:11:11,790 Now I gotta get my own apartment. 976 01:11:13,170 --> 01:11:15,050 Do you know how rich her dad is? 977 01:11:15,490 --> 01:11:19,730 Hey, buddy, I'm not your buddy, okay? I don't hang out with murdering 978 01:11:19,730 --> 01:11:21,080 psychopaths. okay? 979 01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:27,620 And you, you, you just wanted to feel up my girlfriend, all right? And now, and 980 01:11:27,620 --> 01:11:29,880 now Tammy is, Tammy's alive! 981 01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:32,540 Die! Die! Die! Die! 982 01:11:32,780 --> 01:11:34,080 Die! Die! Die! 983 01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:37,060 What? 984 01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:40,560 What? 985 01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:42,560 Sorry, man. 986 01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:44,540 What are you gonna do with the body? 987 01:11:45,420 --> 01:11:46,920 What? Bite off you. 988 01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:49,460 I will kill you! 989 01:11:50,190 --> 01:11:51,190 She was hot. 990 01:11:52,610 --> 01:11:53,610 Doug. 991 01:11:55,670 --> 01:11:57,630 I couldn't do it. What? 992 01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:00,090 I'm gonna go look for my underwear. 993 01:12:03,710 --> 01:12:06,530 I couldn't do it. 994 01:12:06,890 --> 01:12:08,530 She looked all crazy. 995 01:12:08,810 --> 01:12:14,610 And she had the blood and the teeth and... I couldn't get it up. 996 01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,530 I am so sorry. 997 01:12:19,100 --> 01:12:22,180 Dude, and you know me, man. I go boom just listening to my voicemail. 998 01:12:24,300 --> 01:12:28,240 Please enter your password, followed by the pound key. 999 01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:35,080 And the one time it really matters. 1000 01:12:37,260 --> 01:12:38,260 Can't get it up. 1001 01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:45,360 Funny, I sort of had the opposite happen. The excitement and danger of 1002 01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:47,680 being eaten alive was a total turn on. 1003 01:12:47,900 --> 01:12:49,260 I'm still hard. 1004 01:12:50,260 --> 01:12:51,260 Well, 1005 01:12:53,220 --> 01:12:54,220 what do we do now? 1006 01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:57,100 There's something you need to know. 1007 01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:01,700 Those green stones in her earrings, that's what possessed her to kill 1008 01:13:02,700 --> 01:13:06,300 So what you're telling me is all we had to do is take out her earrings? 1009 01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:07,720 Yeah. 1010 01:13:08,230 --> 01:13:10,270 Sorry. We tried to tell you. 1011 01:13:11,230 --> 01:13:13,670 This is the worst day ever! 1012 01:13:15,490 --> 01:13:19,170 I just thought I overheard you say the green stone did all this. 1013 01:13:19,950 --> 01:13:21,270 Yeah, that's what it looks like. 1014 01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:22,730 I knew it. 1015 01:13:23,730 --> 01:13:25,550 Then we may have a big problem here. 1016 01:13:27,550 --> 01:13:28,550 I'll get my tuck. 1017 01:13:43,660 --> 01:13:45,080 Where are all the bodies? 1018 01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,320 I've got a bad feeling about this. 1019 01:13:50,780 --> 01:13:53,940 That green stone was found on this property. 1020 01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:56,220 This is an old Indian graveyard. 1021 01:13:57,420 --> 01:13:59,960 That stone belonged to one of them. 1022 01:14:00,260 --> 01:14:05,260 Some say that the Indians vowed revenge when they were wiped out hundreds of 1023 01:14:05,260 --> 01:14:06,260 years ago. 1024 01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:10,540 That stone must have opened some link to their spirits. 1025 01:14:11,530 --> 01:14:12,930 Cool story, Grandpa. 1026 01:14:13,350 --> 01:14:15,170 I think I'm gonna call the police now. 1027 01:14:19,330 --> 01:14:20,330 What's happening? 1028 01:14:20,770 --> 01:14:22,030 I don't have any bars. 1029 01:14:23,210 --> 01:14:24,210 Come on! 1030 01:14:25,870 --> 01:14:26,870 Hey! 1031 01:14:28,150 --> 01:14:29,210 Where's your team at, bro? 1032 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:54,990 Hey, 1033 01:14:56,530 --> 01:14:57,349 is that William? 1034 01:14:57,350 --> 01:14:59,470 William, you got my voicemail. Thanks for coming, dude. 1035 01:15:15,310 --> 01:15:16,310 Not this one! 1036 01:16:54,030 --> 01:16:56,750 no sane relation between its words and its... 1037 01:16:56,750 --> 01:17:13,110 Can 1038 01:17:13,110 --> 01:17:22,170 we 1039 01:17:22,170 --> 01:17:23,170 start over? 1040 01:17:34,820 --> 01:17:39,260 I got two left feet, man. I'm not even... And then we can move! 1041 01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:59,260 With love in his eyes, not lust. Come on. If by love you mean he could tie a 1042 01:17:59,260 --> 01:18:01,720 cherry stem with his tongue, then yeah, I agree. 1043 01:18:01,960 --> 01:18:06,500 That doesn't make any sense. First off, no cherries in the Shire. 1044 01:18:06,860 --> 01:18:10,500 Second off, I don't know where you get your information from. I'm just saying, 1045 01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,020 it came from Wikipedia. 1046 01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:15,140 Why don't you guys play another game, huh? Let's play, but I had to spend one 1047 01:18:15,140 --> 01:18:17,400 minute without talking about Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings or Buffy. 1048 01:18:17,900 --> 01:18:20,020 Ha! Let your balls drop, man! 1049 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:22,300 And at least pretend to like... 1050 01:19:25,940 --> 01:19:27,740 Well, Clyde, thanks a lot. 1051 01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:29,880 We really couldn't have done this without you. 1052 01:19:30,660 --> 01:19:34,620 No problem, little mortal friend. 1053 01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:42,320 Well, looks like I got a lot of bodies to bury. My work's cut out for me. 1054 01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:46,020 Yeah, we should get out of here as well. We have a lot of explaining to do. 1055 01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:48,500 And some preparations to make. 1056 01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:52,540 What? No way, Doug, you're gonna be a daddy? 1057 01:19:53,780 --> 01:19:54,780 Jealous! 1058 01:19:55,119 --> 01:19:59,380 And congratulations on your big day for having such perfect weather. 1059 01:20:01,120 --> 01:20:06,400 Thanks. Congratulations, Doug. This must be the happiest day in your whole life. 1060 01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:08,580 It is. 1061 01:20:09,140 --> 01:20:10,140 It is. 1062 01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:38,180 Here comes the bride, all dressed in red. Her bachelorette party is the 1063 01:20:38,180 --> 01:20:42,540 dead. Yeah, the wedding was a bust. The guests are deceased. But I guess at 1064 01:20:42,540 --> 01:20:44,420 least they forever hold their peace now. 1065 01:20:44,660 --> 01:20:48,580 Doug and Calista can start a new life. He got the monkey off his back and the 1066 01:20:48,580 --> 01:20:52,400 hell out of his wife. When the zombies come attack, we don't even care. Between 1067 01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:54,760 the robot and Clyde, we're getting there. 1068 01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:57,480 Deep in the woods, these girls are thriller. 1069 01:20:57,760 --> 01:21:00,100 Out in the barn, Doug's a lady killer. 1070 01:21:00,570 --> 01:21:05,610 A demon killer. A clitoral slayer. He went from total nerd to super player. 1071 01:21:05,870 --> 01:21:10,030 Break that neck or throw them earrings out. You may now kiss the bride while 1072 01:21:10,030 --> 01:21:11,070 that demon pouts. 1073 01:21:11,430 --> 01:21:13,670 Something borrowed. Something blue. 1074 01:21:14,070 --> 01:21:18,050 Something bloody. They will come for you. This is my bloody wedding. 1075 01:21:19,030 --> 01:21:20,790 This is my bloody wedding. 1076 01:21:33,260 --> 01:21:40,060 Come together today To witness something today When the devil gets her away 1077 01:21:40,060 --> 01:21:46,760 Don't try to catch that bouquet Okay 1078 01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:53,220 This is my bloody wedding This is my bloody wedding 1079 01:22:26,390 --> 01:22:27,390 Hey, 1080 01:22:33,290 --> 01:22:35,130 Doug, I just farted in your thought bubble. 1081 01:22:35,470 --> 01:22:36,890 All right, cut for a second. 1082 01:22:38,170 --> 01:22:40,570 Doug, it's like there's something inside. 1083 01:22:42,770 --> 01:22:45,910 Listen, it's like there's something inside me. 1084 01:22:49,290 --> 01:22:52,170 It's like there's something inside me, like I have a disease. 1085 01:22:55,170 --> 01:22:59,730 Oh, Doug, listen. It's like there's something inside me, like I... 1086 01:22:59,730 --> 01:23:03,570 Doug, listen. 1087 01:23:04,290 --> 01:23:08,070 It's like there's something inside me, like I have a disease. 1088 01:23:12,130 --> 01:23:13,470 Three or four weeks? 1089 01:23:13,770 --> 01:23:14,770 Steve, the week? 1090 01:23:15,090 --> 01:23:15,889 Fuck me. 1091 01:23:15,890 --> 01:23:16,930 Sorry. Hey, 1092 01:23:17,770 --> 01:23:18,850 maybe even a few... 1093 01:23:19,230 --> 01:23:20,270 three's if we have the energy. 1094 01:23:21,310 --> 01:23:22,310 God, that's funny. 1095 01:23:24,010 --> 01:23:25,290 They're weakly at three's. 1096 01:23:25,530 --> 01:23:26,530 Oh, 1097 01:23:26,710 --> 01:23:27,710 I'm sorry for trusting you. 1098 01:23:29,310 --> 01:23:30,310 Great. 1099 01:23:33,810 --> 01:23:34,810 Oh, that's a lot. 1100 01:23:35,250 --> 01:23:36,250 Cut. 1101 01:23:36,510 --> 01:23:38,030 All right, robot, you're running back. 1102 01:23:39,170 --> 01:23:40,170 Can you hear me? 1103 01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:46,560 I came here to make it. 1104 01:24:49,820 --> 01:24:51,400 Just skip the line. 1105 01:24:51,800 --> 01:24:52,800 No. 1106 01:24:54,060 --> 01:24:55,980 I came here to make it. 1107 01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:04,280 Rolling. 1108 01:25:06,880 --> 01:25:08,080 Cut. They're banging. 1109 01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:11,720 Oh. Pretty sure you guys are laying in horse shit. 1110 01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:12,940 Rolling. 1111 01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:22,000 Is it like ham? 1112 01:25:22,020 --> 01:25:23,340 She eats so much ham. 1113 01:25:24,140 --> 01:25:25,860 And at least pretend to like sports. 1114 01:25:27,520 --> 01:25:29,540 The dude in the tights thinks we're being immature. 1115 01:25:29,860 --> 01:25:33,420 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dress up like a wrestler every day. That's for nerds. 1116 01:25:33,700 --> 01:25:36,480 Hey, William, you got my voicemail. Thanks for coming, dude. 1117 01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:38,980 Hey, wasn't that Morgan Mead? 1118 01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:44,240 Cut! 1119 01:25:47,160 --> 01:25:49,840 She's in a ball of poppin'. 1120 01:25:50,640 --> 01:25:52,080 Work things out. 1121 01:25:53,820 --> 01:25:59,160 It's harder to break your heart when you're walking out. 1122 01:25:59,660 --> 01:26:06,180 And it's a long way back to being in love, but it's better than being apart. 1123 01:26:07,060 --> 01:26:08,060 Yeah. 1124 01:26:10,820 --> 01:26:11,820 Yeah. 1125 01:26:15,380 --> 01:26:21,260 Before we spoke, I knew you had your I 1126 01:26:21,260 --> 01:26:28,200 just wanted the chance to work things out. 1127 01:26:28,780 --> 01:26:35,080 It's a long way back to being in love, but it's better than being apart. 1128 01:26:35,820 --> 01:26:36,820 Yeah. 1129 01:26:39,580 --> 01:26:40,580 Yeah. 1130 01:26:44,100 --> 01:26:45,840 This is impossible. 1131 01:26:52,720 --> 01:26:53,720 Thank you. 78174

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