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1
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You are now about to witness the
strength of clothespin films.
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00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:25,480
Dearly beloved, you're about to see the
blissful union of Callista and Dougie.
3
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:29,840
Your favorite man boy gonna lose his V
-card. With the robot and luchador, it
4
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,140
shouldn't be that hard. Doug's bright as
hot. She booms, she bangs. But riddle
5
00:00:34,140 --> 00:00:38,040
me this, son, what's up with those
fangs? This party could get bloody. The
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00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:38,979
might even spin.
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00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,080
Try not to worry.
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Trust the clothespin. This is my bloody
wedding.
9
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,560
This is my bloody wedding!
10
00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:08,580
You're my little voodoo doll Gotta run
from you
11
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,740
I'm coming up the wall
12
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Every move.
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00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,170
Oh, you got the time to kill.
14
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And I play the fool.
15
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Oh, I think my heart might thrill.
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Oh no, what have I turned into?
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00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:48,210
for me
18
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,320
My little prince. Can I make you some
pancakes?
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00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:32,180
No thanks, Mom.
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00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360
Are you sure?
21
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I have M &M.
22
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,140
I can make Mickey Mouse shake.
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00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,200
Thanks, Mom. I'm okay.
24
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:40,780
Grilled cheese?
25
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:43,460
Okay.
26
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,880
Could you cut the crust?
27
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Of course.
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00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,580
Can I ask you two something?
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Sure, hon. Anything.
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00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,920
When you guys got married, were you
nervous or anything?
31
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,340
No, honey. Your father and I have always
been so in love.
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00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:02,700
Oh.
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00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,280
Well, just like you and Callista.
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That's the thing.
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She's been pressuring me a lot lately.
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Maybe I should just have sex with her.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, dear.
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We raised you differently.
39
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,600
A lot of people believe Jesus doesn't
belong in the bedroom.
40
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However... He can actually enhance the
lovemaking process.
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The joining of two naked bodies.
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Just so.
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With oil.
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Hot wax.
45
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Leather.
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Marriage is a rite of passage. It's a
big step in one's life.
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Don't worry, my little prince. I'm sure
it's just a symptom of cold feet.
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This weekend...
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You can give her the ride of her life.
Yeah. Then she'll be glad you both
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waited.
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Cold feet.
52
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That's it.
53
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Thanks, Mom.
54
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I gotta go.
55
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:10,030
Anytime, Mom.
56
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Dougie! Come in, Susie, hubby!
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Hey! Hey!
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Okay. Love you, too.
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Love ya.
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00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:38,430
Okay.
61
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:41,370
Great!
62
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,350
What's up, fiance?
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00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:47,490
I'm glad you're here. I have something I
want to show you.
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I was just stopping by to see what was
new.
65
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:51,710
What's in the box?
66
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,229
Is that for me?
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Open it.
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00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,040
Oh!
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00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:03,420
Slippers!
70
00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,020
Thanks, babe.
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00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,920
Thought maybe your feet might be getting
cold.
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00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,140
How did you know?
73
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Wrong
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00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:20,140
house.
75
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,220
Your friends are next door.
76
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,620
Honey, can we talk for a sec?
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Sure. Have a seat.
78
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,900
What's up, sweetie?
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Okay, look.
80
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:46,080
I just wanted to let you know that
there's nothing more that I'd like to do
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00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,520
than, you know, knead that dough.
82
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,540
You know what I mean.
83
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,160
What I'm saying is you have a rockin'
bod, and...
84
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,700
I would love to slap nasties with you.
85
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,660
You know, bump fuzzies.
86
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,180
Do all the things that you've wanted to
do.
87
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,720
Philly Sanchez's.
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00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:12,580
Muddy Cleveland's. Maybe even a few 63's
if we have the energy.
89
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,600
But we have to wait.
90
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,900
We're getting married in a few days.
91
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:20,680
Okay, deal.
92
00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:23,020
Really?
93
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Well, great.
94
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,080
I love you.
95
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,420
Okay. What do you think you wanted to
show me?
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00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:37,560
Calista, didn't I just say you need a
special permit to use my little fire
97
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,840
Relax, I put my own fire out this
morning.
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00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,540
I just wanted to show you this.
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00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,200
Wow.
100
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,640
What is it?
101
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,520
It's my mother's... favorite pendant.
102
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,779
It's an antique.
103
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,180
It's really nifty.
104
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,780
Very antique -y looking.
105
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:05,040
What's with the green crystal thingy?
106
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,140
I found it in a box in the attic.
107
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,240
I found it on Monday when I was going
through her things.
108
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,120
I remember her really liking it.
109
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,300
She carried it around with her just
before she was killed.
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00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,500
In fact, in her last words, she mumbled
something about it.
111
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,760
I think it meant a lot to her.
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00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:31,670
I'm gonna wear it to the wedding.
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Don't you just love it? It's super duper
awesome.
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At least I had one.
115
00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:53,230
I had a jeweler cut the crystal up and
make earrings out of it for Tammy and
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Monica so we can coordinate at the
wedding.
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Can you believe it's this Saturday?
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00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:01,040
Gosh. Time flies when you're in love.
119
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,060
Mom, please. This will take like five
minutes. I'm already running late.
120
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,460
All right.
121
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:16,500
It's good for you. Mom, are you kidding
me? Why is it good?
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00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:24,940
Because you don't want to rush something
like doing your
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00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:25,940
taxes.
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00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,180
Doing my taxes. Come on, come on. You
know that I'm talking about doing you. I
125
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:34,059
know. I'm just trying to turn you off. I
don't want you watching Charlie's
126
00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,059
Angels when I leave.
127
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,340
Well? You know how I get after a night
with the girls.
128
00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:39,940
I want you to be ready for me.
129
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:44,020
Come on, please don't do this to me.
Please don't do this to me. I'll be back
130
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,920
late. Honey, this is so unfair.
131
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,520
So then, I hear the back door open.
132
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:56,860
My parents came home early. Yeah, so I
jump up, pull my skirt down. He zips up
133
00:08:56,860 --> 00:09:01,360
his pants, and we run to the kitchen.
And my mom comes in, and she says, well,
134
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,280
what's that on your skirt?
135
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:10,120
I look down, and I'm like, frosting from
the cupcakes we made earlier?
136
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,480
And she looks at me and says, that
doesn't look like frosting.
137
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,970
Well, Calista, looks like you're not
going to have any more of those
138
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:27,970
embarrassing stories.
139
00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:33,350
Um, apparently Doug's saving all the
embarrassing stuff for after the
140
00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:34,630
Oh, he's a gentleman.
141
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:41,290
Thank you guys so much for being my
bridesmaids.
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00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:46,070
You really are the best. Oh, okay. Don't
get snappy. Come on, I'm serious.
143
00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:48,770
I just love you guys so much.
144
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,050
Beautiful. They match my necklace.
145
00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:06,650
Oh.
146
00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:09,350
Oh, my God.
147
00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:11,130
Calista, thank you.
148
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,610
Put them on. Put them on. Put them on.
149
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,050
Okay.
150
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:22,450
Oh, my gosh. They bring out your eyes.
Really?
151
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,430
Oh, God. Thank you. I cannot believe
this.
152
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,550
So, what do you guys want to do now?
153
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,740
To Doug. Hey, lucky bastard.
154
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:44,240
Hey, maybe we should get something to
drink.
155
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,120
Yeah, I'll go put in an order.
156
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,120
Is everything okay?
157
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:54,880
Want to do some shots?
158
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:55,979
Do some shots.
159
00:10:55,980 --> 00:11:00,040
Booze won't cover up the emotional
stress that rages within me.
160
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,640
Oh, is that why you're breaking out? Oh,
great. Now I'm breaking out?
161
00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:05,540
The wedding's on Saturday.
162
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,960
Pictures last a lifetime.
163
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,360
I'm kidding. It's a joke.
164
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,360
Doug, you're getting married, bro.
165
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:12,880
It's a good thing.
166
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,560
All right, cheer up.
167
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,300
Oh, what do we got here? A little
whiner?
168
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,980
Yeah. Dude, you should consider yourself
lucky. You got a girl like Calista. If
169
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,420
I were you, I would shut my mouth until
I said my vows.
170
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,980
Yet a better question.
171
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,790
So what's she like in a sack?
172
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,350
It's only a few more days.
173
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,230
Wait.
174
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,310
Wait, you mean you haven't slept with
her yet?
175
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:46,310
Not exactly.
176
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,750
Doug, I promise I won't freak out.
177
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:52,870
Are you a virgin?
178
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,160
Yeah, I'm freaking out. Holy shit.
179
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:02,340
Doug, life lesson number one. Okay, you
cannot get married a virgin.
180
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,980
Why not? Because that saving yourself
from marriage bullshit is totally for
181
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,540
dogs. You need to seriously sit down and
think about this, man.
182
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,600
Like, would you buy a car without test
driving it first?
183
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:17,020
No. Or, I don't know, something as
measly as a pair of pants without at
184
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,020
trying them on once?
185
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,940
Trying on pants is different. Yeah,
because you can throw them away after a
186
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:22,940
or two.
187
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:26,890
Listen, Doug, if you get married to
Calypso and you find out you have no
188
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:30,410
chemistry, I mean, I hate to tell you,
man, you're going to be miserable the
189
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:31,410
rest of your life.
190
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:34,210
Plus, what if she's hiding something
from you?
191
00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:36,530
What if she's got the STDs?
192
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:42,250
Some girls I hear, they even have tiny,
undeveloped penises.
193
00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:43,870
What?
194
00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:45,090
Yeah, Google it.
195
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:50,410
Regardless, man, you have got to kick
the tires, okay? This is something that
196
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:51,410
everybody does.
197
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,800
Oh, my God.
198
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,560
Tiny peanuts?
199
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,240
Yes!
200
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,920
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
201
00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,420
Yes!
202
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:04,760
Doug! Dude, what are you still doing
here? You gotta go! Get that girl! Get
203
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,760
Go! Go!
204
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,240
Oh, Doug, wait!
205
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:08,980
What is it, Steve?
206
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,840
There's something you should consider
before fornication. What's that?
207
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,120
Protection.
208
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,900
You mean a condom?
209
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,220
Not just any condom.
210
00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:26,270
The Thrill Seeker Deluxe. It's specially
designed to provide maximum comfort and
211
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:29,790
protection from STDs.
212
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,230
Thank you, Steve.
213
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:37,570
I will use the Thrill Seeker Deluxe
condom from now on to protect me and my
214
00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:39,790
partner. Better safe than sorry.
215
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:43,310
Thanks, Steve. Oh, and Doug?
216
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,590
Yeah? Have fun.
217
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,450
Hey, so what was all that stuff about,
you know, women with undeveloped
218
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:56,730
They call them cave trolls.
219
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,270
Cave trolls? Yeah.
220
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:02,670
They really call them cave trolls. Yeah,
well, they being my brother. Your
221
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:03,670
brother? Wow.
222
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,350
It kind of makes sense if you think
about it.
223
00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:09,210
Go for it, buddy. Go for it. Are you
guys sure about this? Absolutely, man.
224
00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:12,530
I'm telling you, if you don't do her,
I'm going to have to. William, stop it.
225
00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:16,350
I'm just trying to light a fire. No,
don't. Don't light any fires. No fires.
226
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:17,770
Okay. Bro, good luck.
227
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:21,450
Absolutely, man. And hey, if you need
either one of us, you know, we're
228
00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:24,350
out here, but if you need to get a hold
of me, I've got my cell phone. So if you
229
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,950
need me to coach you through anything,
just give me... Why don't you just go
230
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:28,950
have a good time?
231
00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:30,610
Okay.
232
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:32,350
Thanks, guys.
233
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:34,890
I can't do this.
234
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:36,390
Yes, you can!
235
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:37,770
No. Yes, you can!
236
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:41,950
No, I mean... She's having her
bachelorette party in there.
237
00:14:52,219 --> 00:14:54,120
All right, on three, and then we'll go.
238
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,460
One,
239
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,240
two, three, go, or on three?
240
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,060
I'll say one, two, three. Okay, then
I'll say go.
241
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,360
And then we go, guys.
242
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,800
One, two, three, go.
243
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,050
Fuck with that.
244
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:30,230
I think that there's something strange
going on. You're damn right there is.
245
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,690
Oh, my God, you guys. This is a dream
come true.
246
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,250
What are we still doing out here? Let's
go inside.
247
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:41,890
I thought the lesbian bachelorette
party, they were just a myth.
248
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:44,550
That comes to you, man, okay? Look,
they're rare, but they do exist.
249
00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:47,550
All right, my friend? Now we need to go
inside. Precious minutes are being
250
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,550
wasted. No.
251
00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:49,910
What?
252
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,330
They can't know that we're here.
253
00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:52,870
Doug's right.
254
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,810
We're going to have to be real quiet
when we sneak in. Fair enough.
255
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,810
No, we're not supposed to be here, guys.
Let's go.
256
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,970
No. Come on. No.
257
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,790
No! This is the best thing that ever
happened to me, Dallas, and you knocked
258
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,830
that guy away from me! Easy, Jesus.
259
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,790
Okay, it's a bit overdramatic, but I
have to say I do agree with the guy.
260
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:12,330
This is all my fault.
261
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:15,350
I should have stirred that pudding
months ago.
262
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,950
She's not cheating on you, man. She's
just having some fun, wrestling with her
263
00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:23,190
friends in their panties. With all of
her female friends, man, you need to be
264
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,190
happy about this.
265
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:25,890
Take me home, please.
266
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,070
Doug.
267
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:34,030
Does he understand the rarity of this?
This is awful!
268
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,130
Steve.
269
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,670
Wait, you think Callista would spill,
you know...
270
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,300
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
271
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,060
I brought you some snackies.
272
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,560
Thanks, guys.
273
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:03,520
We thought you'd maybe like to talk.
274
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
That'd be great.
275
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:09,740
What's on your mind, Doug?
276
00:17:10,819 --> 00:17:14,440
Mom, Dad, I'm really nervous about
Saturday.
277
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,780
I'm worried that I won't be able to
please Callista.
278
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,660
You mean sexually?
279
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,220
Yeah.
280
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,500
Oh, honey.
281
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,780
You're a little caged tiger.
282
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,240
You're just waiting to pounce.
283
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:32,220
What's this?
284
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:39,380
Your mom and I made a tape for you. It
should help with your little problem.
285
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,760
It's an instructional video.
286
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,780
It will show you how you can please
Callista.
287
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,200
Oh.
288
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,440
Thanks a lot, guys.
289
00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:53,200
Well, we'll leave you to it. If you have
any questions.
290
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,030
That's your mom. Thanks.
291
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,330
Sweet dreams.
292
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:08,570
Is the camera on?
293
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,710
I think so. The red light's on.
294
00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:13,010
Come over here.
295
00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,270
Hi, Dougie.
296
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:19,750
Honey, don't talk to Dougie right now.
I'm trying to concentrate.
297
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,810
Oh.
298
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,110
Oh, Rick, you double.
299
00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:30,570
Do you like it? I do.
300
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:33,490
Keep going.
301
00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,210
Oh, yeah. That's your spot.
302
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,430
That is the spot.
303
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,070
Right there. Oh, yes, you've tried.
304
00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:45,850
Bad boy.
305
00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:50,850
Bad, bad boy. I better discipline
myself.
306
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,040
Monica, that's a little too rough.
Monica, that's a bit too rough!
307
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:16,560
Jesus!
308
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,020
What is going on with you?
309
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,800
Babe,
310
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,800
what is going on here?
311
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,240
I just want to play. I want to play too,
but let's play nice, okay?
312
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,520
What's wrong?
313
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:33,940
Am I making you nervous?
314
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240
Look, we need to call it a quit.
315
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,640
After dinner.
316
00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:08,460
Doug's room. Doug speaking.
317
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:10,419
Hey, Doug.
318
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:11,420
What are you doing?
319
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,520
Calista, what time is it?
320
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,720
You want to come over for a bit?
321
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:18,740
No.
322
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,520
I want to grab a bite to eat.
323
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,620
I'm too tired. I'll see you tomorrow.
324
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:25,880
I want some sausage.
325
00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:28,840
I'm hanging up now.
326
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,760
happening. That's not happening.
327
00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:01,140
This isn't what I'm...
328
00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:54,750
Do you want me to bring you some soup?
329
00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:58,310
No, thanks. I'm really full.
330
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:02,550
Oh.
331
00:23:03,770 --> 00:23:04,930
Where you been?
332
00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:10,050
Just running off some fast food.
333
00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:12,250
Cool.
334
00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:20,170
Does my doggie woogie need a little
ruby?
335
00:23:23,399 --> 00:23:24,440
I'm fine.
336
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,000
Sweet dreams.
337
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,800
I love you.
338
00:23:30,220 --> 00:23:31,220
Me too.
339
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:35,100
Love you, baby.
340
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,120
Me too.
341
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,160
I don't think I can sleep.
342
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:16,940
Dougie?
343
00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:18,660
What's wrong?
344
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,700
Are you having trouble sleeping?
345
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,920
Try Extra Strength's Coma Dose. It's
guaranteed to give you at least 22 hours
346
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,920
uninterrupted sleep.
347
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,660
It works twice as long as the leading
brand and only three times as many side
348
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:43,470
effects. Our secret to a full day of
lucid dreaming is the active ingredient,
349
00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:46,030
which is chemically identical to
dropping acid.
350
00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:51,910
But Mom, is that good for me? Is
anything really good for you these days?
351
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:53,710
try it. You'll be addicted.
352
00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:57,030
No thanks.
353
00:24:57,130 --> 00:24:58,470
I just wanted to talk.
354
00:24:58,850 --> 00:24:59,850
About what?
355
00:25:00,670 --> 00:25:02,730
I think Callista's cheating on me.
356
00:25:02,950 --> 00:25:04,230
Oh, that's ridiculous.
357
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:08,270
She's a great girl. What would... Give
you such an idea.
358
00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:10,790
I saw her and her ex -boyfriend making
whoopee.
359
00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:12,850
What were you doing over there?
360
00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:17,130
She called me for a midnight snack. When
I got there, her ex showed up.
361
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,650
Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.
362
00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:22,050
I don't know.
363
00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:23,550
Pretty sure I saw them together.
364
00:25:24,870 --> 00:25:27,150
Dougie, I'm sorry you had to see all
that.
365
00:25:27,430 --> 00:25:31,090
But Calista is a good girl. I'm sure
there's a logical explanation for
366
00:25:31,090 --> 00:25:32,090
everything.
367
00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:33,750
I hope so.
368
00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:35,670
I'm having lunch with her tomorrow.
369
00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:37,450
I'll see what I can dig up.
370
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:41,090
In the meantime, you just try to give
her the benefit of the doubt, okay?
371
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:42,730
Okay. Thanks, Mom.
372
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,070
Now, get some sleep, my little prince.
373
00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:48,950
Don't you worry your little head about
this, okay? Good night, Mommy.
374
00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:50,310
Good night, sweetie.
375
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,600
Who's your friend?
376
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,300
He's not my friend. He's just some
creep.
377
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,560
Oh, it feels so good.
378
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,520
My God, you're cold.
379
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,480
See you with me.
380
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,500
Probably just need some rest.
381
00:27:09,980 --> 00:27:11,040
Poor thing.
382
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,860
She's just been sleeping all day.
383
00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:26,620
Maybe she's got mono.
384
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:27,880
What do I do?
385
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,540
Just keep her comfortable.
386
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,660
Mono goes away in like three or four
weeks. Three or four weeks? Steve, the
387
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:34,660
wedding's this weekend.
388
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,240
Stop yelling.
389
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,780
I don't know what to tell you, man.
390
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:39,520
There's no cure for mono.
391
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,780
I shouldn't have let her out in the cold
the other night.
392
00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:45,860
This is all my fault. I should have had
a pashmina handy.
393
00:27:46,220 --> 00:27:47,680
A pash... what? No.
394
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,540
Doug, you don't get mono from being out
in the cold.
395
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,360
They call it the kissing disease, man.
396
00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:59,220
You get it from swapping spit with
someone who already has mono.
397
00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:01,820
Who would want to trade spit?
398
00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:04,140
That's impossible, Steve.
399
00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:08,280
Maybe he got it from one of the girls.
400
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:13,320
Yeah, go with that. Go with the girls.
Maybe she got it from the girls.
401
00:28:14,220 --> 00:28:15,220
Oh, my God.
402
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,440
No.
403
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,879
Oh, no.
404
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,840
No, don't go there. Oh, no. How can I be
so stupid?
405
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:26,470
Maybe she traded a drink with someone.
No, no, she didn't.
406
00:28:27,390 --> 00:28:28,390
Steve, I gotta go.
407
00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:29,490
Doug, don't.
408
00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:29,850
I love your necklace!
409
00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:47,010
else to get. I love you, Dougie. I can
marry and have sex.
410
00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:49,670
Marry her, Dougie.
411
00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:52,030
Then you can have lots of sex.
412
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,030
Get you some, son.
413
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,380
I decided I don't care if she is mono.
414
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,120
We're going to get married and I'm going
to spend the rest of my life with her.
415
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,560
Doug, aren't you even concerned about
how she got mono? I'll confront her
416
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,100
it. Hey, maybe you're right. Maybe she
just shared a drink with somebody.
417
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,960
What if that's not the case?
418
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,160
Well, I'm willing to forgive her. As
long as she promises it'll never happen
419
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,480
again. I mean, I love her. I don't want
to lose her over something so trivial.
420
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,160
Cheating is hardly trivial.
421
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,680
She's leaving.
422
00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:03,880
Leaving? Yes, and also she's acting very
secretive.
423
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,560
Okay, you have to follow her. This could
answer everything.
424
00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:11,660
Okay, um, I'll call you later.
425
00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:53,380
My girlfriend just went in. I just need
one ticket.
426
00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:54,860
You have a girlfriend?
427
00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,700
What in the world? Come in here.
428
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,120
Who
429
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:16,040
are
430
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,360
you? You're in over your head, Charlie
Brown.
431
00:32:18,910 --> 00:32:20,750
That's my friend. She's not your
girlfriend.
432
00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:25,890
It'd be best if you just left before his
situation worsens.
433
00:32:32,210 --> 00:32:34,570
I'm Clyde, by the way. I heard you.
434
00:32:34,810 --> 00:32:35,930
Just after the fact.
435
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:37,890
Doug?
436
00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:40,290
Doug, what are you doing here?
437
00:32:41,670 --> 00:32:42,670
Oh.
438
00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:44,230
Hi.
439
00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:45,750
Cluster, right?
440
00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:47,690
Doug.
441
00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:50,420
I'm just here to watch.
442
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,680
Doug, did you follow me here?
443
00:32:53,660 --> 00:32:54,660
No.
444
00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:57,440
Did you follow me here?
445
00:32:57,660 --> 00:32:59,400
I can't believe you. Why are you
following me?
446
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,400
Why are you with another guy?
447
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:02,980
That's my cousin.
448
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,980
He can't make it to the wedding, so we
decided to come here together.
449
00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:07,780
Oh.
450
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,820
Well, can I meet him? No. I mean, no,
Doug.
451
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,120
I'm mad at you.
452
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,860
Well, what about that Clyde guy?
453
00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:17,700
No.
454
00:33:17,910 --> 00:33:20,310
Clyde can't meet him either. What's
going on with you?
455
00:33:20,590 --> 00:33:22,470
Who the hell is Clyde?
456
00:33:22,690 --> 00:33:24,070
Your creepy stalker guy.
457
00:33:25,910 --> 00:33:28,310
Doug, go home.
458
00:33:28,710 --> 00:33:29,810
You're embarrassing yourself.
459
00:33:30,170 --> 00:33:31,109
Okay, then.
460
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:36,510
Well, I guess I'll just see you at our
wedding when we take our sacred vows and
461
00:33:36,510 --> 00:33:37,850
declare our undying fatality.
462
00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:53,449
She what?
463
00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:54,450
What's going on?
464
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:57,410
I'm not doing too good, man.
465
00:33:58,410 --> 00:33:59,730
Where are you right now?
466
00:33:59,990 --> 00:34:04,030
I'm just in my car, bleeding. Can you
meet me at my house in 15 minutes?
467
00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:06,090
All right, I'll be over there in 15
minutes.
468
00:34:06,890 --> 00:34:09,330
Okay, I'll call William. See you soon.
469
00:34:11,909 --> 00:34:12,909
You're crazy.
470
00:34:12,929 --> 00:34:17,110
And I know crazy chicks, Doug. I grew up
with five sisters, and they don't get
471
00:34:17,110 --> 00:34:18,110
on the same cycle.
472
00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:21,550
It's absolutely insane, Doug, and this
is way worse.
473
00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:23,190
Okay. Calm down.
474
00:34:23,409 --> 00:34:26,170
There has to be a rational explanation
for this. An explanation?
475
00:34:26,590 --> 00:34:27,590
For this?
476
00:34:27,889 --> 00:34:28,889
Okay,
477
00:34:30,310 --> 00:34:32,250
I admit, that's a little strange.
478
00:34:32,730 --> 00:34:33,730
Where's Tammy now?
479
00:34:34,330 --> 00:34:36,489
I don't know. She went off into the
woods.
480
00:34:36,750 --> 00:34:38,510
Into the woods? Well, that's not safe.
481
00:34:38,929 --> 00:34:43,110
Safe? Doug, I'm pretty sure if Tammy
gets attacked by a deer, she's gonna be
482
00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:44,110
okay.
483
00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,350
Maybe this was a misunderstanding.
484
00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:48,730
Maybe this is just the way that she
fights.
485
00:34:49,010 --> 00:34:51,830
No, no, no, no. When she fights, she
just gets all real cute.
486
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:54,420
So does Calista.
487
00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,260
Little bunny rabbits that you want to
fight with.
488
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:01,960
No!
489
00:35:06,660 --> 00:35:07,740
This is awful!
490
00:35:08,460 --> 00:35:09,439
Where's William?
491
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,540
I called him, and it went straight to
his voicemail.
492
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,800
So like William.
493
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,900
Wait a second, I got it! It's rabies!
Where?
494
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,920
Calista! We thought she had mono? It
must have been rabies!
495
00:35:22,270 --> 00:35:25,310
Tammy must have given it to her when
they were playing Twister in their
496
00:35:25,310 --> 00:35:26,310
underwear.
497
00:35:27,630 --> 00:35:28,630
Okay.
498
00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:30,730
I'll buy it. That makes sense.
499
00:35:31,970 --> 00:35:33,310
You just need your shots.
500
00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:35,650
Come on, let's get you to the emergency
room.
501
00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:40,650
Okay. Now I know what a hooker in Miami
feels like.
502
00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:57,930
Steve, something is definitely wrong.
503
00:35:59,770 --> 00:36:01,210
Steve loves cocks.
504
00:36:08,690 --> 00:36:09,870
It's pretty funny, though.
505
00:36:11,050 --> 00:36:12,050
That's me.
506
00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:13,070
All right, follow me.
507
00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:22,690
Okay, I'm going to have to give you a
shot to stay off infection.
508
00:36:23,510 --> 00:36:24,810
You think it's rabies?
509
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,380
I'm not at liberty to diagnose, but the
doctor will be in shortly.
510
00:36:30,580 --> 00:36:35,760
Now, I'm going to need you to pull...
Roll up my sleeve. You got it. Here you
511
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,360
go. No, I need you to pull down your
pants.
512
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,800
This kind of shot can only be
administered in the buttock.
513
00:36:42,580 --> 00:36:43,580
All right.
514
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,120
Doug, pants me.
515
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,240
And also, face the wall.
516
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,580
Okay. You guys wait here.
517
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,400
I'm gonna see what's going on.
518
00:37:13,980 --> 00:37:15,280
I'll call you if I need backup.
519
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:17,060
Are you sure?
520
00:37:18,060 --> 00:37:19,060
Yeah.
521
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,400
I got this.
522
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,240
Hey, Doug.
523
00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:27,620
Yeah, Steve?
524
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,260
Just text me, though, because I don't
have any more daytime minutes.
525
00:37:34,900 --> 00:37:37,440
Okay. I'll text you if I need backup.
526
00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:45,940
Doug yes, Steve My phone's probably
gonna die All
527
00:37:45,940 --> 00:37:51,560
right robot you're running back up on
this one
528
00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:15,130
Not yet, Mrs. Barnes. The wedding's on
Saturday.
529
00:38:16,050 --> 00:38:19,330
Well, you two certainly have been
carrying on like newlyweds.
530
00:38:22,970 --> 00:38:24,810
Doug! Mrs. Barnes!
531
00:38:25,090 --> 00:38:26,450
There she is.
532
00:38:26,650 --> 00:38:28,210
Oh, the two lovebirds together.
533
00:38:28,770 --> 00:38:29,830
Let's see that ring.
534
00:38:31,450 --> 00:38:32,630
I have to get a manicure.
535
00:38:33,330 --> 00:38:36,170
Well, have you seen Peanut?
536
00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:38,890
I thought I heard him barking over here.
537
00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:41,510
No, Mrs. Barnes. I will keep my eyes
peeled.
538
00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:48,760
Strange. My eyes may be shot, but my
ears are just as good as an 18 -year
539
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:49,760
-old's.
540
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:52,460
Peter!
541
00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:54,700
Peter!
542
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,120
Doug!
543
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,440
What's all over your chest?
544
00:39:06,180 --> 00:39:08,520
I picked up a couple of Hardee's on the
way home.
545
00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:10,420
Those burgers do get all over the place.
546
00:39:12,010 --> 00:39:13,290
Why are you eating so much?
547
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:18,650
Doug? Aren't you trying to fit into a
wedding dress? You're getting a belly.
548
00:39:18,950 --> 00:39:24,910
I mean, actually, you are not getting a
belly. You are getting thinner. It just
549
00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:27,210
must be the way that that top lays over
you.
550
00:39:27,790 --> 00:39:29,850
I thought you were getting lunch with my
mom today.
551
00:39:30,190 --> 00:39:31,350
Yeah, I had her for lunch.
552
00:39:32,410 --> 00:39:34,850
Here, I had her over here for lunch.
553
00:39:36,790 --> 00:39:38,810
Are you really going to wear that
necklace at the wedding?
554
00:39:41,710 --> 00:39:43,170
Look, you're acting really strange
lately.
555
00:39:43,470 --> 00:39:44,470
What's your problem?
556
00:39:45,290 --> 00:39:51,130
Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking,
and I know we promised to save
557
00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:52,470
ourselves for each other.
558
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:57,650
Look, all I want to be with is you, but
if you feel like you want to be with
559
00:39:57,650 --> 00:40:02,570
someone else before we make this
commitment till death do us part and
560
00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:04,630
I'm okay with that. What?
561
00:40:04,950 --> 00:40:07,370
Why would I want that? I love you.
562
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,360
I just get this feeling.
563
00:40:12,020 --> 00:40:13,020
I'm confused.
564
00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:16,100
Okay, look.
565
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,360
I came over to your house the other
night after you called me.
566
00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:22,980
What? I saw you with your ex -boyfriend.
567
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:24,440
What?
568
00:40:24,900 --> 00:40:26,860
Brad? Oh, my gosh.
569
00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:32,340
I don't know what to think. I want this
marriage to be built on trust.
570
00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:36,140
Well, then do you have a logical
explanation on why he came over here?
571
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,480
I can't believe you even asked that.
572
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,980
Just, just go home.
573
00:40:53,260 --> 00:40:54,680
You want to put some music on?
574
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,460
Calista! Oh my god, Doug!
575
00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:03,060
Geez, that scared me.
576
00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,400
I thought you were leaving.
577
00:41:05,820 --> 00:41:09,660
I'm sorry that I came over to your house
the other night when I said I wasn't
578
00:41:09,660 --> 00:41:10,660
going to.
579
00:41:10,990 --> 00:41:11,990
Is that an apology?
580
00:41:12,430 --> 00:41:14,150
Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
581
00:41:14,650 --> 00:41:15,650
You're so sweet.
582
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,310
What's wrong with you?
583
00:41:18,870 --> 00:41:20,310
Calista, you have fangs?
584
00:41:20,590 --> 00:41:21,590
No, I don't.
585
00:41:21,830 --> 00:41:25,230
Yes, you do. I'm staring at them right
now.
586
00:41:25,770 --> 00:41:26,770
Oh, those.
587
00:41:28,270 --> 00:41:31,370
I went to the dentist today and he gave
me these implants.
588
00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:35,470
I've been having trouble chewing meat
lately and he said these would help.
589
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:36,910
What do you think?
590
00:41:38,570 --> 00:41:39,570
I don't know.
591
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:40,900
It's pretty weird.
592
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,120
Would you be acting that way if I got
glasses?
593
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,920
No. Glasses aren't a big deal.
594
00:41:47,420 --> 00:41:48,480
Those things are scary.
595
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:52,660
Wait, Calista!
596
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,580
Is this what you came over here to do?
Make fun of me?
597
00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:02,940
No.
598
00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:07,000
I came here to make it with you.
599
00:42:08,430 --> 00:42:09,770
Oh, it's really romantic.
600
00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:14,430
What was your plan if I didn't want to?
Or did you even consider my feelings?
601
00:42:17,730 --> 00:42:18,910
Is that Peanut's collar?
602
00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:21,550
Oh, that?
603
00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:22,650
Yeah.
604
00:42:23,890 --> 00:42:24,890
Found it in the hallway.
605
00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,190
What are you making?
606
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:33,550
So you want to do me or what?
607
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,470
Ouchie!
608
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:38,600
Oh, God.
609
00:42:38,780 --> 00:42:39,780
Wait.
610
00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:43,900
Wait,
611
00:42:44,820 --> 00:42:45,820
what's that?
612
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:47,860
Those are my new shoes. You all right?
613
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:49,880
Do they come with feet in them?
614
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:53,920
Mom?
615
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,760
How'd she get under there?
616
00:43:01,660 --> 00:43:03,820
Calista, what is going on?
617
00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:05,940
You've been acting strange.
618
00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:09,060
I've caught you sneaking around with
other men.
619
00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:11,480
I've been hearing strange sounds.
620
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:15,280
Not to mention your kisses have been a
little toothy lately.
621
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:21,560
If there's a rational explanation for
this, now is the time to tell me.
622
00:43:22,580 --> 00:43:27,820
Okay, Doug, we're getting married
tomorrow, and I want to be completely
623
00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:28,820
with you.
624
00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:35,280
I like the taste of blood. Not always,
just lately.
625
00:43:37,670 --> 00:43:38,670
You what?
626
00:43:38,890 --> 00:43:42,690
I admit, I've killed... a
627
00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:46,910
few people lately.
628
00:43:47,530 --> 00:43:48,530
I'm sorry.
629
00:43:48,890 --> 00:43:52,210
What are you talking about? Why would
you kill people?
630
00:43:52,450 --> 00:43:53,590
Was it self -defense?
631
00:43:53,850 --> 00:43:54,850
I don't know.
632
00:43:57,390 --> 00:44:00,590
So last night, you killed Brad?
633
00:44:02,010 --> 00:44:03,650
Yeah. Okay.
634
00:44:04,330 --> 00:44:05,330
Cool.
635
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,080
Who called me?
636
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,640
Were you gonna kill me? No!
637
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,840
No, I truly just wanted the Leepo
sausage.
638
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,740
They do make a good sausage.
639
00:44:18,540 --> 00:44:19,840
They're open 24 hours.
640
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:21,680
Just for the summer.
641
00:44:24,340 --> 00:44:25,340
Doug, listen.
642
00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:28,280
It's like there's something inside me.
643
00:44:28,860 --> 00:44:30,680
Like I have a disease or something.
644
00:44:43,460 --> 00:44:44,460
Doug, wait.
645
00:44:45,540 --> 00:44:47,940
Melissa, I need some time to think about
this.
646
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,460
And if you have a disease, I don't want
to catch it.
647
00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:52,300
I still love you, Doug.
648
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:57,020
I think you have rabies. We need to get
you to a hospital. No, no hospital.
649
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,240
But honey, it's a hospital.
650
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:00,520
We can make this work.
651
00:45:00,980 --> 00:45:02,040
Let's get married tomorrow.
652
00:45:13,290 --> 00:45:15,530
Sure, you'll just kill me on our
honeymoon.
653
00:45:15,790 --> 00:45:16,669
No biggie.
654
00:45:16,670 --> 00:45:19,570
I promise I won't. I love you, silly.
655
00:45:25,850 --> 00:45:26,850
Well?
656
00:45:34,270 --> 00:45:35,270
She's fine.
657
00:45:36,550 --> 00:45:37,550
Fine?
658
00:45:37,930 --> 00:45:39,310
Complete misunderstanding.
659
00:45:39,550 --> 00:45:41,290
We're going to go through with the
wedding.
660
00:45:41,550 --> 00:45:42,550
She's totally...
661
00:45:43,180 --> 00:45:48,180
Doug, I've had a long day today. Do not
lie to me. I'm not a liar.
662
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:50,780
He's totally cool.
663
00:45:55,260 --> 00:45:55,780
All
664
00:45:55,780 --> 00:46:05,540
right,
665
00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:07,120
fix your tie here. Hold on.
666
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,040
A little smudgy -do here.
667
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,520
Hey, can I ask you something?
668
00:46:18,980 --> 00:46:19,980
Yeah man, anything.
669
00:46:22,460 --> 00:46:23,820
What do you think of Calista?
670
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,340
I think she's great.
671
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,100
What are you talking about?
672
00:46:29,900 --> 00:46:31,300
I think we have a problem.
673
00:46:50,740 --> 00:46:51,740
Come on!
674
00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:54,700
Guys, thanks a lot, but I really think
this is unnecessary.
675
00:46:55,340 --> 00:46:58,780
Doug, come back to Earth. Something is
going on here.
676
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,120
Okay.
677
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,600
Well,
678
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,220
she's not cheating on you.
679
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:15,360
Told you.
680
00:47:17,620 --> 00:47:19,960
I think we better hurry. The wedding's
starting.
681
00:47:20,910 --> 00:47:21,910
Okay.
682
00:47:22,270 --> 00:47:23,270
Wait.
683
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,460
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to witness the holy
684
00:48:10,460 --> 00:48:16,720
matrimony of Doug Shepard and Calista
DeFord.
685
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,840
I'm just going to skip around a little
bit here.
686
00:48:22,980 --> 00:48:29,000
If anyone here knows of any reason why
these two should not be joined, please
687
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,840
speak now or forever hold your peace.
688
00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:37,750
What are your objections?
689
00:48:38,910 --> 00:48:44,590
Uh... I just have some doubts about her
fidelity and whether she'd make a good
690
00:48:44,590 --> 00:48:47,430
mother and... Oh, yeah. She eats people!
691
00:48:49,130 --> 00:48:51,090
Don't listen to them, Dougie. Kiss them.
692
00:48:52,470 --> 00:48:53,470
Okay.
693
00:48:59,690 --> 00:49:02,250
Um... Which time's it?
694
00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,450
I just need a minute. Uh... I'm going to
be right back.
695
00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:07,730
Okay?
696
00:49:08,190 --> 00:49:11,250
Can we talk? Yeah, let's go. All right.
697
00:49:15,270 --> 00:49:16,270
Okay.
698
00:49:17,050 --> 00:49:21,110
We're going to take a short break here,
everybody. So there are refreshments.
699
00:49:28,150 --> 00:49:29,250
You can't do this.
700
00:49:29,590 --> 00:49:30,690
She's trying to kill you.
701
00:49:31,910 --> 00:49:32,970
Don't be ridiculous.
702
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:34,820
She's not trying to kill me.
703
00:49:35,900 --> 00:49:40,780
Okay, I admit, maybe she has rabies.
That doesn't mean she wants me dead. She
704
00:49:40,780 --> 00:49:46,020
loves me. Doug, denial can be a
dangerous game.
705
00:49:46,660 --> 00:49:51,520
It can lead to alienation, lies, and
depression.
706
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:58,340
Symptoms include withdrawing from
conversation, outrageous stories,
707
00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:05,020
outbursts, overeating, chronic
masturbation, And migraine headaches.
708
00:50:05,580 --> 00:50:10,800
If you suffer from any of these
symptoms, please seek help today.
709
00:50:12,380 --> 00:50:14,480
I feel empty inside all the time.
710
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,120
Is there help for me?
711
00:50:16,420 --> 00:50:17,420
Yes.
712
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,700
Pick up that phone and change your...
713
00:50:35,310 --> 00:50:36,970
Evening. It's you!
714
00:50:37,790 --> 00:50:41,690
Can I have this at all?
715
00:50:42,150 --> 00:50:43,150
Cheese?
716
00:50:45,070 --> 00:50:46,070
Grape?
717
00:50:48,030 --> 00:50:49,030
Cracker?
718
00:50:50,830 --> 00:50:52,130
Sit yourself.
719
00:50:52,830 --> 00:50:54,430
Oh, come on.
720
00:50:57,130 --> 00:51:03,750
I'm here to help with your woman
problems.
721
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,120
Who are you?
722
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,160
What's your name, son? I'm Clyde.
723
00:51:08,460 --> 00:51:09,760
Steve. Steve?
724
00:51:09,980 --> 00:51:11,520
Doug and I already know each other.
725
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:17,460
All right, Clyde. We're kind of in the
middle of something, so... Well, let me
726
00:51:17,460 --> 00:51:18,460
get right to the point.
727
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:20,960
You gotta kill your girlfriends.
728
00:51:21,380 --> 00:51:25,680
What? Kill them all. Kill them till
they're dead. The sooner the better.
729
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,120
Because it's only gonna get worse.
730
00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:32,860
Okay. We'll get right on that, Clyde.
We'll go kill our girlfriends.
731
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,660
And then maybe we'll pee on some old
people and try to drive a car with our
732
00:51:36,660 --> 00:51:39,400
feet. Yeah, that would be a lot of fun.
Okay, time to go.
733
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:40,419
Let's go.
734
00:51:40,420 --> 00:51:41,420
Ah, what the?
735
00:51:42,820 --> 00:51:45,400
Your little lady has a thirst for blood,
my friend.
736
00:51:45,820 --> 00:51:50,680
Oh, way ahead of you, Clyde. Talking
about the rabies. I got it, and it's
737
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,180
control. She's not your girl anymore,
son.
738
00:51:54,460 --> 00:51:57,520
And it's definitely not rabies we're
talking about.
739
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,880
She's a cold -blooded killer.
740
00:52:01,710 --> 00:52:04,310
And she's going to kill everyone she
can.
741
00:52:05,050 --> 00:52:07,970
Because that's the only way she'll
survive.
742
00:52:09,310 --> 00:52:14,450
All right. We're going to play a little
game called Crazy Guy with the Hammer.
743
00:52:14,570 --> 00:52:16,610
Has to leave us alone now.
744
00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:17,910
All right. You win.
745
00:52:18,290 --> 00:52:22,670
So there you go. Your prize is a two to
go. If you don't kill him, I'm going to
746
00:52:22,670 --> 00:52:23,368
have to.
747
00:52:23,370 --> 00:52:25,270
And it won't be pretty.
748
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:40,870
I think Clyde might be right.
749
00:52:41,170 --> 00:52:43,910
Hey, aren't you Callista's neighbor?
Thanks for coming, man.
750
00:52:44,270 --> 00:52:45,270
Oh, yeah, sure.
751
00:52:45,410 --> 00:52:50,190
Callista's a cool girl and all, but I
haven't seen some crazy stuff here
752
00:52:50,510 --> 00:52:53,630
Really? Uh -huh. Hey, your girlfriend
Tammy?
753
00:52:54,290 --> 00:52:55,510
Man, you better watch out.
754
00:52:56,230 --> 00:53:02,010
I don't think we should tell anybody
about this. Yeah, Doug's right. We don't
755
00:53:02,010 --> 00:53:05,330
want people thinking we're crazy like
Ernest kills demons out there.
756
00:53:05,550 --> 00:53:07,630
Yeah, and they might kill our
girlfriends.
757
00:53:08,130 --> 00:53:09,130
True.
758
00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:10,770
So what do we do?
759
00:53:11,830 --> 00:53:14,150
We just have to keep them all in one
place.
760
00:53:14,590 --> 00:53:18,290
Make sure they don't do anything crazy.
Yeah, like kill our moms.
761
00:53:18,670 --> 00:53:22,990
Okay, you know what? That just happened.
I'm still kind of getting over it.
762
00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:26,570
Alright. Besides, I think this whole
thing will just pass.
763
00:53:26,890 --> 00:53:31,150
Yeah, because I'm pretty sure eternal
demonism just goes away like a sore
764
00:53:31,150 --> 00:53:35,630
does. We just have to keep our guards up
in case anything happens.
765
00:53:37,270 --> 00:53:38,270
I'm scared.
766
00:53:39,570 --> 00:53:40,570
Thank you.
767
00:54:16,750 --> 00:54:20,510
I killed some of your family. I hope you
don't mind. Yeah, I kind of mind. Where
768
00:54:20,510 --> 00:54:21,510
are the girls?
769
00:54:22,430 --> 00:54:23,430
They escaped.
770
00:54:24,050 --> 00:54:25,690
We better find them fast.
771
00:54:27,030 --> 00:54:28,170
Weirdo's right. Let's go.
772
00:54:31,390 --> 00:54:32,390
Hey, you okay?
773
00:54:34,550 --> 00:54:36,730
This isn't exactly how I planned my
wedding.
774
00:54:37,930 --> 00:54:38,930
Yeah.
775
00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:40,990
These things never go how you think they
will.
776
00:54:41,210 --> 00:54:44,210
The best thing you can do is just try to
roll with the punches, you know.
777
00:54:56,490 --> 00:54:59,210
There should be enough stuff in here to
kill all your girlfriends.
778
00:54:59,710 --> 00:55:01,870
Will you quit saying that? What?
779
00:55:02,290 --> 00:55:03,730
I don't know if I can do this.
780
00:55:04,030 --> 00:55:05,030
Man up, boy.
781
00:55:05,210 --> 00:55:06,550
This will put hair on your chest.
782
00:55:06,890 --> 00:55:08,890
I don't want any hair on my chest.
783
00:55:09,550 --> 00:55:12,730
So, they're supposed to kill people with
this stuff. Not people.
784
00:55:13,430 --> 00:55:14,610
Eternal demons.
785
00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:18,290
How do you know so much about these
demons?
786
00:55:19,170 --> 00:55:21,270
You learn a lot of things here at the
park.
787
00:55:22,029 --> 00:55:24,410
battling eternal demons is just part of
the job.
788
00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:26,410
Well, how'd you find out how to kill
them?
789
00:55:27,210 --> 00:55:29,010
Actually, I didn't. Not yet.
790
00:55:29,330 --> 00:55:30,330
Wait, what?
791
00:55:31,130 --> 00:55:32,130
They all got away.
792
00:55:33,350 --> 00:55:35,270
What do you mean, they got away?
793
00:55:35,510 --> 00:55:38,550
You mean you don't even know if this
stuff worked? Well, I don't know if it
794
00:55:38,550 --> 00:55:40,570
won't. Well, he has a point.
795
00:55:41,250 --> 00:55:42,730
I mean, it worked with Father Price.
796
00:55:43,910 --> 00:55:44,910
True.
797
00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:50,330
Actually, to be 100 % up front with you
all, I'm not...
798
00:55:50,670 --> 00:55:52,430
certain that he was possessed.
799
00:55:58,690 --> 00:55:59,810
Get certain!
800
00:56:00,690 --> 00:56:03,230
Okay? You better be right about this.
801
00:56:09,250 --> 00:56:13,570
Maybe Calista just thinks she has to
kill people.
802
00:56:13,970 --> 00:56:15,810
You know, dreams can be really
realistic.
803
00:56:16,150 --> 00:56:17,530
For example, right now.
804
00:56:18,030 --> 00:56:20,490
This dream is very realistic.
805
00:56:21,090 --> 00:56:25,070
Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug! Wake up,
Doug! Wake up, Doug! Wake up, Doug!
806
00:56:25,810 --> 00:56:26,709
Hello,
807
00:56:26,710 --> 00:56:27,930
lover boy.
808
00:56:28,590 --> 00:56:31,070
Your family is dead, remember?
809
00:56:31,550 --> 00:56:36,210
Yeah, and as I recall, you were the only
one I saw killing anyone.
810
00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:41,950
Yeah. Don't stab me if I'm wrong here,
Clyde, but I think it's appropriate to
811
00:56:41,950 --> 00:56:46,060
say... that you probably did kill most
of the people back there. Maybe so.
812
00:56:46,300 --> 00:56:48,400
Maybe so, but I did it to save you.
813
00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:50,600
We're losing time.
814
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:05,720
Ben?
815
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,340
Doug?
816
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,800
We must be careful in here.
817
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:16,580
Not only are we on the lookout for
eternal demons Wild animals are
818
00:57:16,580 --> 00:57:19,180
Stay focused
819
00:57:39,950 --> 00:57:41,750
That was a defenseless animal.
820
00:57:42,190 --> 00:57:43,710
It's just the beginning, soldiers.
821
00:57:53,490 --> 00:57:54,490
Clyde?
822
00:58:20,780 --> 00:58:23,240
Folklore only happens in the movies.
823
00:59:55,210 --> 00:59:56,210
I'm gonna save Callista!
824
00:59:58,050 --> 01:00:01,670
I think you're gonna have to suck on his
legs some more.
825
01:00:24,570 --> 01:00:30,110
Work them and walk. Two, three, four.
Up. Lift those knees. Ladies back. Other
826
01:00:30,110 --> 01:00:35,830
way. Come on up. Up. Up. Up. And south.
Shoulders. And south. That's it, homies.
827
01:00:35,830 --> 01:00:36,830
South. South.
828
01:01:45,580 --> 01:01:49,380
to the big dance routine, which was
really pretty fun, wasn't it? Wow, I
829
01:01:49,380 --> 01:01:50,640
that exercise. That felt great.
830
01:01:51,580 --> 01:01:55,760
Well, anyhow, we followed Doug, who
followed Callista, who followed her
831
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:57,080
insatiable thirst for blood.
832
01:01:57,660 --> 01:02:01,080
Well, I didn't think that Doug was going
to go in there. What he's trying to say
833
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,560
is Doug and Callista are in the barn.
834
01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:06,020
Ah, the moments of truth.
835
01:02:12,900 --> 01:02:13,900
Okay,
836
01:02:14,580 --> 01:02:15,580
Doug.
837
01:02:16,030 --> 01:02:18,670
Mind over matter, my friend.
838
01:02:20,210 --> 01:02:21,210
It's cool.
839
01:02:21,590 --> 01:02:23,690
No big deal. It's just a barn.
840
01:02:24,130 --> 01:02:27,190
Yeah, a creepy old barn. Breathe.
841
01:02:28,750 --> 01:02:30,030
Just a dream.
842
01:02:30,270 --> 01:02:33,010
It's all just a dream.
843
01:02:34,890 --> 01:02:36,870
Day drawn.
844
01:02:38,150 --> 01:02:39,270
Fall, buddy.
845
01:02:41,110 --> 01:02:42,150
Well, fall.
846
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:44,880
Hi, Dougie.
847
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:47,360
Kiss me.
848
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:52,120
Oh, how cute. You're nervous.
849
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,220
Mommy! That's a weird thing to say.
850
01:02:55,740 --> 01:02:56,740
Kathy?
851
01:02:58,540 --> 01:03:00,120
I'm sorry about the wedding, babe.
852
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,180
It's just cute. This is our honeymoon.
853
01:03:03,220 --> 01:03:04,220
I'm scared.
854
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:06,780
So am I, but we've waited for this
forever.
855
01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:11,580
I know, but I don't want to be immortal
or anything.
856
01:03:12,620 --> 01:03:15,080
I thought we wanted to be together
forever, my love.
857
01:03:15,300 --> 01:03:17,120
I do, but I don't know what happened to
you.
858
01:03:19,100 --> 01:03:20,140
I don't know either.
859
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:33,600
I've dreamed of our wedding for as long
as
860
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:34,600
I can remember.
861
01:03:36,140 --> 01:03:37,140
Your touch.
862
01:03:37,620 --> 01:03:38,620
Your face.
863
01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:41,970
I love you so deeply, Doug.
864
01:03:43,130 --> 01:03:45,050
Your mom and I planned for so long.
865
01:03:47,910 --> 01:03:48,910
Look at me.
866
01:03:49,010 --> 01:03:51,890
I can't even talk these fucking things.
You think I feel normal?
867
01:03:53,930 --> 01:03:56,150
I thought I'd be the most beautiful
bride ever.
868
01:03:57,650 --> 01:03:59,010
All I want is you, Dougie.
869
01:04:03,410 --> 01:04:04,410
Dougie!
870
01:04:04,730 --> 01:04:07,990
Dougie! Just shut up. I can't
concentrate.
871
01:04:08,350 --> 01:04:09,350
Look into my eyes.
872
01:04:09,610 --> 01:04:11,770
All that matters is you and I. You're
not helping!
873
01:04:12,230 --> 01:04:13,770
We're with Ted Ducky. I have to tell you
something.
874
01:04:14,010 --> 01:04:14,988
What?
875
01:04:14,990 --> 01:04:15,990
I'm pregnant.
876
01:04:17,570 --> 01:04:18,630
I'm having your baby.
877
01:04:20,090 --> 01:04:21,170
Well, we didn't do it.
878
01:04:21,870 --> 01:04:23,250
How could I have gotten you pregnant?
879
01:04:24,250 --> 01:04:28,330
Remember that game I taught you where
you play the blindfolded paralyzed
880
01:04:28,330 --> 01:04:29,330
and I play the nurse?
881
01:04:30,390 --> 01:04:31,390
Yeah.
882
01:04:32,930 --> 01:04:33,930
That's sex.
883
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:39,300
I did it because I love you, and I was
really horny.
884
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,320
I taught my mom that game.
885
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:45,840
Don't worry, Doug.
886
01:04:46,980 --> 01:04:47,980
I hate her.
887
01:04:52,140 --> 01:04:56,360
I will not go easily, Dougie!
888
01:05:57,430 --> 01:05:59,330
I think we're going to be fine.
889
01:06:07,690 --> 01:06:08,690
I trust Doug.
890
01:06:09,070 --> 01:06:10,790
I think he's going to make the right
decision.
891
01:06:13,070 --> 01:06:14,930
Whoa! What are they doing?
892
01:06:15,550 --> 01:06:17,670
They're just kind of rolling in the hay.
893
01:06:47,630 --> 01:06:48,630
I'm not.
894
01:06:48,810 --> 01:06:49,810
You maybe.
895
01:06:50,870 --> 01:06:53,910
Doug. You did kill a lot of people.
896
01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:54,988
I know.
897
01:06:54,990 --> 01:06:56,090
I feel terrible.
898
01:06:59,030 --> 01:07:00,030
Doug?
899
01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:01,350
Yeah?
900
01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:03,790
I don't want to die.
901
01:07:05,710 --> 01:07:08,430
I don't want to kill you.
902
01:07:14,210 --> 01:07:15,930
Holy moly! Callista!
903
01:07:16,210 --> 01:07:17,770
What? You're beautiful!
904
01:07:18,050 --> 01:07:19,050
Look!
905
01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:21,310
How did this happen?
906
01:07:22,090 --> 01:07:25,210
It must be my magic weenie juice.
907
01:07:25,590 --> 01:07:29,450
Hey, I bet if we do it again, you'll
turn into Heidi Klint. Oh my gosh!
908
01:07:30,470 --> 01:07:31,970
Remember that pendant I found?
909
01:07:32,590 --> 01:07:35,790
Yeah. I still think I'd look good in
that, by the way.
910
01:07:39,270 --> 01:07:43,290
Doug, everything's becoming so clear to
me. Yeah, I have that effect on the
911
01:07:43,290 --> 01:07:44,810
lady. How would you know?
912
01:07:45,420 --> 01:07:47,100
Well, maybe round two will be more
telling.
913
01:07:47,860 --> 01:07:51,100
No, no, no. Seriously, everything's
becoming so clear to me. You know, I'd
914
01:07:51,100 --> 01:07:53,180
coming if you'd stop talking so much.
915
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,400
Okay, the green stone in this necklace
is what possessed my mom ten years ago.
916
01:07:58,100 --> 01:08:00,480
It must have been what possessed me.
917
01:08:00,700 --> 01:08:01,920
It must have been cursed or something.
918
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:04,820
Oh, my God, the girls are still wearing
their earrings.
919
01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:10,720
We have to stop them. No, no. No, no,
no, no, no. No more killing. It's the
920
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:14,480
way to save innocent people. I thought
my unit was the only way to save them.
921
01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:16,899
Come on, we're running out of time.
922
01:08:24,060 --> 01:08:25,060
What happened?
923
01:08:27,359 --> 01:08:28,460
Speak, mortal.
924
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:34,380
Why do you have to be so weird? Why
can't you just be normal for five
925
01:08:34,380 --> 01:08:35,920
just want to know what's going on.
926
01:08:38,180 --> 01:08:39,180
Doug! Doug!
927
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:40,520
Are you okay?
928
01:08:41,140 --> 01:08:42,939
Did you kill Callista?
929
01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:44,380
I...
930
01:08:45,970 --> 01:08:48,790
Fixer. Is that what you're calling it
these days?
931
01:08:49,029 --> 01:08:49,788
Come on.
932
01:08:49,790 --> 01:08:53,390
Let's find those girls before they do
any more damage. But they ran off into
933
01:08:53,390 --> 01:08:55,890
woods. Which is not our forte.
934
01:08:56,729 --> 01:08:58,229
That won't be a problem.
935
01:08:59,109 --> 01:09:03,850
I planted a remote exploding device on
one of the little honeys during our
936
01:09:03,850 --> 01:09:04,850
little dance.
937
01:09:05,029 --> 01:09:07,350
Where did you get a remote explosive
device?
938
01:09:07,870 --> 01:09:11,450
I use them here at the park, killing
bees and groundhogs.
939
01:09:12,010 --> 01:09:13,630
Bees? I'm allergic.
940
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:15,120
Can't get too close.
941
01:09:15,979 --> 01:09:22,740
All I gotta do is flip this here toggle
switch and hope that we're close enough
942
01:09:22,740 --> 01:09:24,899
that we can hear her explode.
943
01:09:26,180 --> 01:09:27,180
Wait, don't!
944
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:30,220
Do you remember which girl you planted
the bomb on?
945
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:33,979
Uh, yeah. Uh, C -Cups, uh, black hair,
trying to kill me.
946
01:09:34,279 --> 01:09:36,960
Oh, okay. That's Monica. Yeah, flip the
switch.
947
01:09:42,910 --> 01:09:43,910
She's close.
948
01:09:47,830 --> 01:09:48,830
Tammy, don't.
949
01:09:49,450 --> 01:09:53,750
Tammy. Tammy, where are you? It's me,
Stevie Weeby. I still love you.
950
01:09:54,290 --> 01:09:55,950
Oh, Doug, I got to get out of here.
951
01:09:56,330 --> 01:10:00,370
I know what to do. I'll just fist her
like you fisted Calista. Wait, Steve
952
01:10:00,610 --> 01:10:01,610
Okay, baby.
953
01:10:01,750 --> 01:10:06,110
Let's go to the barn, and then you can
have all my flesh.
954
01:10:07,030 --> 01:10:09,310
Flesh, get it? Oh, that's a funny joke.
Yeah, right?
955
01:10:09,590 --> 01:10:10,590
Come on, baby.
956
01:10:12,330 --> 01:10:14,650
I forgot to tell you! Where are they
running off to?
957
01:10:16,110 --> 01:10:19,250
Tammy is about to be repeatedly stabbed
by little Stevie.
958
01:10:19,710 --> 01:10:21,010
But he doesn't have a weapon.
959
01:10:21,270 --> 01:10:22,610
Different kind of stabbing.
960
01:10:23,310 --> 01:10:24,890
Jiminy Christmas on wheels.
961
01:10:25,290 --> 01:10:27,570
Well, he has to get close enough to
reverse the damage.
962
01:10:27,970 --> 01:10:28,970
Reverse the damage?
963
01:10:29,470 --> 01:10:32,150
What in the devil's red toilet are you
talking about?
964
01:10:32,470 --> 01:10:34,110
Look at me. I'm cured.
965
01:10:34,570 --> 01:10:37,010
Then all it took was fornication.
966
01:10:37,670 --> 01:10:38,790
Fornication is right!
967
01:10:51,050 --> 01:10:52,210
Sorry, Tammy. Sorry, Steve.
968
01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:56,330
Sorry, Tammy. I'm not trying to touch
your boobies. I mean, they're really
969
01:10:56,330 --> 01:10:58,590
boobies, but it's just I'm trying to
rescue you. Don't you understand?
970
01:11:00,330 --> 01:11:01,330
No!
971
01:11:01,970 --> 01:11:03,670
No! Why would you do that?
972
01:11:04,710 --> 01:11:05,710
No!
973
01:11:06,530 --> 01:11:08,310
Look at her and look at me, man.
974
01:11:09,010 --> 01:11:10,010
This doesn't happen.
975
01:11:10,370 --> 01:11:11,790
Now I gotta get my own apartment.
976
01:11:13,170 --> 01:11:15,050
Do you know how rich her dad is?
977
01:11:15,490 --> 01:11:19,730
Hey, buddy, I'm not your buddy, okay? I
don't hang out with murdering
978
01:11:19,730 --> 01:11:21,080
psychopaths. okay?
979
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:27,620
And you, you, you just wanted to feel up
my girlfriend, all right? And now, and
980
01:11:27,620 --> 01:11:29,880
now Tammy is, Tammy's alive!
981
01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:32,540
Die! Die! Die! Die!
982
01:11:32,780 --> 01:11:34,080
Die! Die! Die!
983
01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:37,060
What?
984
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:40,560
What?
985
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:42,560
Sorry, man.
986
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:44,540
What are you gonna do with the body?
987
01:11:45,420 --> 01:11:46,920
What? Bite off you.
988
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:49,460
I will kill you!
989
01:11:50,190 --> 01:11:51,190
She was hot.
990
01:11:52,610 --> 01:11:53,610
Doug.
991
01:11:55,670 --> 01:11:57,630
I couldn't do it. What?
992
01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:00,090
I'm gonna go look for my underwear.
993
01:12:03,710 --> 01:12:06,530
I couldn't do it.
994
01:12:06,890 --> 01:12:08,530
She looked all crazy.
995
01:12:08,810 --> 01:12:14,610
And she had the blood and the teeth
and... I couldn't get it up.
996
01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,530
I am so sorry.
997
01:12:19,100 --> 01:12:22,180
Dude, and you know me, man. I go boom
just listening to my voicemail.
998
01:12:24,300 --> 01:12:28,240
Please enter your password, followed by
the pound key.
999
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:35,080
And the one time it really matters.
1000
01:12:37,260 --> 01:12:38,260
Can't get it up.
1001
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:45,360
Funny, I sort of had the opposite
happen. The excitement and danger of
1002
01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:47,680
being eaten alive was a total turn on.
1003
01:12:47,900 --> 01:12:49,260
I'm still hard.
1004
01:12:50,260 --> 01:12:51,260
Well,
1005
01:12:53,220 --> 01:12:54,220
what do we do now?
1006
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:57,100
There's something you need to know.
1007
01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:01,700
Those green stones in her earrings,
that's what possessed her to kill
1008
01:13:02,700 --> 01:13:06,300
So what you're telling me is all we had
to do is take out her earrings?
1009
01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:07,720
Yeah.
1010
01:13:08,230 --> 01:13:10,270
Sorry. We tried to tell you.
1011
01:13:11,230 --> 01:13:13,670
This is the worst day ever!
1012
01:13:15,490 --> 01:13:19,170
I just thought I overheard you say the
green stone did all this.
1013
01:13:19,950 --> 01:13:21,270
Yeah, that's what it looks like.
1014
01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:22,730
I knew it.
1015
01:13:23,730 --> 01:13:25,550
Then we may have a big problem here.
1016
01:13:27,550 --> 01:13:28,550
I'll get my tuck.
1017
01:13:43,660 --> 01:13:45,080
Where are all the bodies?
1018
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,320
I've got a bad feeling about this.
1019
01:13:50,780 --> 01:13:53,940
That green stone was found on this
property.
1020
01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:56,220
This is an old Indian graveyard.
1021
01:13:57,420 --> 01:13:59,960
That stone belonged to one of them.
1022
01:14:00,260 --> 01:14:05,260
Some say that the Indians vowed revenge
when they were wiped out hundreds of
1023
01:14:05,260 --> 01:14:06,260
years ago.
1024
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:10,540
That stone must have opened some link to
their spirits.
1025
01:14:11,530 --> 01:14:12,930
Cool story, Grandpa.
1026
01:14:13,350 --> 01:14:15,170
I think I'm gonna call the police now.
1027
01:14:19,330 --> 01:14:20,330
What's happening?
1028
01:14:20,770 --> 01:14:22,030
I don't have any bars.
1029
01:14:23,210 --> 01:14:24,210
Come on!
1030
01:14:25,870 --> 01:14:26,870
Hey!
1031
01:14:28,150 --> 01:14:29,210
Where's your team at, bro?
1032
01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:54,990
Hey,
1033
01:14:56,530 --> 01:14:57,349
is that William?
1034
01:14:57,350 --> 01:14:59,470
William, you got my voicemail. Thanks
for coming, dude.
1035
01:15:15,310 --> 01:15:16,310
Not this one!
1036
01:16:54,030 --> 01:16:56,750
no sane relation between its words and
its...
1037
01:16:56,750 --> 01:17:13,110
Can
1038
01:17:13,110 --> 01:17:22,170
we
1039
01:17:22,170 --> 01:17:23,170
start over?
1040
01:17:34,820 --> 01:17:39,260
I got two left feet, man. I'm not
even... And then we can move!
1041
01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:59,260
With love in his eyes, not lust. Come
on. If by love you mean he could tie a
1042
01:17:59,260 --> 01:18:01,720
cherry stem with his tongue, then yeah,
I agree.
1043
01:18:01,960 --> 01:18:06,500
That doesn't make any sense. First off,
no cherries in the Shire.
1044
01:18:06,860 --> 01:18:10,500
Second off, I don't know where you get
your information from. I'm just saying,
1045
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,020
it came from Wikipedia.
1046
01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:15,140
Why don't you guys play another game,
huh? Let's play, but I had to spend one
1047
01:18:15,140 --> 01:18:17,400
minute without talking about Harry
Potter and Lord of the Rings or Buffy.
1048
01:18:17,900 --> 01:18:20,020
Ha! Let your balls drop, man!
1049
01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:22,300
And at least pretend to like...
1050
01:19:25,940 --> 01:19:27,740
Well, Clyde, thanks a lot.
1051
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:29,880
We really couldn't have done this
without you.
1052
01:19:30,660 --> 01:19:34,620
No problem, little mortal friend.
1053
01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:42,320
Well, looks like I got a lot of bodies
to bury. My work's cut out for me.
1054
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:46,020
Yeah, we should get out of here as well.
We have a lot of explaining to do.
1055
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:48,500
And some preparations to make.
1056
01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:52,540
What? No way, Doug, you're gonna be a
daddy?
1057
01:19:53,780 --> 01:19:54,780
Jealous!
1058
01:19:55,119 --> 01:19:59,380
And congratulations on your big day for
having such perfect weather.
1059
01:20:01,120 --> 01:20:06,400
Thanks. Congratulations, Doug. This must
be the happiest day in your whole life.
1060
01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:08,580
It is.
1061
01:20:09,140 --> 01:20:10,140
It is.
1062
01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:38,180
Here comes the bride, all dressed in
red. Her bachelorette party is the
1063
01:20:38,180 --> 01:20:42,540
dead. Yeah, the wedding was a bust. The
guests are deceased. But I guess at
1064
01:20:42,540 --> 01:20:44,420
least they forever hold their peace now.
1065
01:20:44,660 --> 01:20:48,580
Doug and Calista can start a new life.
He got the monkey off his back and the
1066
01:20:48,580 --> 01:20:52,400
hell out of his wife. When the zombies
come attack, we don't even care. Between
1067
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:54,760
the robot and Clyde, we're getting
there.
1068
01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:57,480
Deep in the woods, these girls are
thriller.
1069
01:20:57,760 --> 01:21:00,100
Out in the barn, Doug's a lady killer.
1070
01:21:00,570 --> 01:21:05,610
A demon killer. A clitoral slayer. He
went from total nerd to super player.
1071
01:21:05,870 --> 01:21:10,030
Break that neck or throw them earrings
out. You may now kiss the bride while
1072
01:21:10,030 --> 01:21:11,070
that demon pouts.
1073
01:21:11,430 --> 01:21:13,670
Something borrowed. Something blue.
1074
01:21:14,070 --> 01:21:18,050
Something bloody. They will come for
you. This is my bloody wedding.
1075
01:21:19,030 --> 01:21:20,790
This is my bloody wedding.
1076
01:21:33,260 --> 01:21:40,060
Come together today To witness something
today When the devil gets her away
1077
01:21:40,060 --> 01:21:46,760
Don't try to catch that bouquet Okay
1078
01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:53,220
This is my bloody wedding This is my
bloody wedding
1079
01:22:26,390 --> 01:22:27,390
Hey,
1080
01:22:33,290 --> 01:22:35,130
Doug, I just farted in your thought
bubble.
1081
01:22:35,470 --> 01:22:36,890
All right, cut for a second.
1082
01:22:38,170 --> 01:22:40,570
Doug, it's like there's something
inside.
1083
01:22:42,770 --> 01:22:45,910
Listen, it's like there's something
inside me.
1084
01:22:49,290 --> 01:22:52,170
It's like there's something inside me,
like I have a disease.
1085
01:22:55,170 --> 01:22:59,730
Oh, Doug, listen. It's like there's
something inside me, like I...
1086
01:22:59,730 --> 01:23:03,570
Doug, listen.
1087
01:23:04,290 --> 01:23:08,070
It's like there's something inside me,
like I have a disease.
1088
01:23:12,130 --> 01:23:13,470
Three or four weeks?
1089
01:23:13,770 --> 01:23:14,770
Steve, the week?
1090
01:23:15,090 --> 01:23:15,889
Fuck me.
1091
01:23:15,890 --> 01:23:16,930
Sorry. Hey,
1092
01:23:17,770 --> 01:23:18,850
maybe even a few...
1093
01:23:19,230 --> 01:23:20,270
three's if we have the energy.
1094
01:23:21,310 --> 01:23:22,310
God, that's funny.
1095
01:23:24,010 --> 01:23:25,290
They're weakly at three's.
1096
01:23:25,530 --> 01:23:26,530
Oh,
1097
01:23:26,710 --> 01:23:27,710
I'm sorry for trusting you.
1098
01:23:29,310 --> 01:23:30,310
Great.
1099
01:23:33,810 --> 01:23:34,810
Oh, that's a lot.
1100
01:23:35,250 --> 01:23:36,250
Cut.
1101
01:23:36,510 --> 01:23:38,030
All right, robot, you're running back.
1102
01:23:39,170 --> 01:23:40,170
Can you hear me?
1103
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:46,560
I came here to make it.
1104
01:24:49,820 --> 01:24:51,400
Just skip the line.
1105
01:24:51,800 --> 01:24:52,800
No.
1106
01:24:54,060 --> 01:24:55,980
I came here to make it.
1107
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:04,280
Rolling.
1108
01:25:06,880 --> 01:25:08,080
Cut. They're banging.
1109
01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:11,720
Oh. Pretty sure you guys are laying in
horse shit.
1110
01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:12,940
Rolling.
1111
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:22,000
Is it like ham?
1112
01:25:22,020 --> 01:25:23,340
She eats so much ham.
1113
01:25:24,140 --> 01:25:25,860
And at least pretend to like sports.
1114
01:25:27,520 --> 01:25:29,540
The dude in the tights thinks we're
being immature.
1115
01:25:29,860 --> 01:25:33,420
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dress up like a
wrestler every day. That's for nerds.
1116
01:25:33,700 --> 01:25:36,480
Hey, William, you got my voicemail.
Thanks for coming, dude.
1117
01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:38,980
Hey, wasn't that Morgan Mead?
1118
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:44,240
Cut!
1119
01:25:47,160 --> 01:25:49,840
She's in a ball of poppin'.
1120
01:25:50,640 --> 01:25:52,080
Work things out.
1121
01:25:53,820 --> 01:25:59,160
It's harder to break your heart when
you're walking out.
1122
01:25:59,660 --> 01:26:06,180
And it's a long way back to being in
love, but it's better than being apart.
1123
01:26:07,060 --> 01:26:08,060
Yeah.
1124
01:26:10,820 --> 01:26:11,820
Yeah.
1125
01:26:15,380 --> 01:26:21,260
Before we spoke, I knew you had your I
1126
01:26:21,260 --> 01:26:28,200
just wanted the chance to work things
out.
1127
01:26:28,780 --> 01:26:35,080
It's a long way back to being in love,
but it's better than being apart.
1128
01:26:35,820 --> 01:26:36,820
Yeah.
1129
01:26:39,580 --> 01:26:40,580
Yeah.
1130
01:26:44,100 --> 01:26:45,840
This is impossible.
1131
01:26:52,720 --> 01:26:53,720
Thank you.
78174
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