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Next up on the Home Shopping Network:
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00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:21,600
"Boyfriends of Cher Collector Plates."
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00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,433
Who'd wanna eat off
of Gregg Allman?
4
00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:45,467
You won't believe
what they're doing at the mall.
5
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:50,400
Putting a sign in front of the shoe store
that says, "Over two pairs sold"?
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00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,600
That hurts, Peg.
7
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:57,767
Not as much as seeing you first thing
in the morning, but that still hurts.
8
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:01,533
Anyway, they're making us
all car pool.
9
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,233
Damn, this cleaner, greener
Chicago program.
10
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,367
Do you realize that they even want us
to conserve water?
11
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:12,934
Well, did you tell them about
how much water you save on showers?
12
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,367
I did.
13
00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:19,000
You know, this conservation crap
has gone a little too far.
14
00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:23,133
What did we take this country from the
Indians for if we're not gonna use it?
15
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,633
Do you know the kind of people
that are doing this, Peg?
16
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,600
People who won't chop
down one tree...
17
00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:37,900
...but mow their heads
are the kind of people behind this.
18
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:42,767
Al Bundy, why would you leave
that landfill you call a car running...
19
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,467
...after you come home?
20
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:47,533
I didn't. It just takes a while to stop.
21
00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:53,767
I mean, when you cut a chicken's
head off it still runs around the room.
22
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,867
There. It's off.
23
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:04,667
Well, it's cars like yours that make
carpooling necessary,
24
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:08,467
which is why I'm glad my bank is one
of the cleaner, greener sponsors.
25
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:13,266
Marcy, it is a man's God-given right
to drive alone in his car.
26
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:15,633
A man's car is his castle.
27
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:18,266
Well, I thought a man's home
was his castle.
28
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:21,533
It is, if he can slay the dragon
that's living there.
29
00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:26,767
Besides, too many people
in one car spells trouble.
30
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,800
What do we do
when someone cuts us off?
31
00:03:28,867 --> 00:03:31,500
Are we all supposed
to give him the finger?
32
00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:36,734
No, just whichever one of you
can get it out of his nose first.
33
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:40,934
A man's nose is also his castle.
34
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:45,533
In my America, a man's car
and his nose is his castle.
35
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,433
Well, in my America...
36
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,033
...there's one giant bus...
37
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:54,000
...that the whole world gets on
to ride to work together.
38
00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:59,000
And on this bus I greet people
from different lands,
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00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:02,433
each in their own native language.
40
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,767
You're talking about the city bus.
41
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,333
Well, I can see this is certainly falling
on a pair of deaf and furry ears.
42
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,000
Well! This car pool outrage
will not go unchallenged.
43
00:04:16,066 --> 00:04:19,934
You wanna get something cleaner
and greener? Wash my underwear!
44
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,500
Hey, wait a second,
that was a shot at me.
45
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:35,800
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
it can be from me.
46
00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:39,767
Peg, remember the time
when a man could burn a tank of gas...
47
00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:42,266
...backing out of his own driveway?
48
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:46,834
A man took a hooker to a steak house
and no one would even blink an eye?
49
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,633
Peg, why can't we go back
to simpler times?
50
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,433
Al, but look at this place.
51
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:56,567
Any simpler and we'd be bushmen.
52
00:04:57,500 --> 00:05:00,800
You know who I really feel for,
don't you? The kids.
53
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,567
What's the point in being young...
54
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,533
...if you can't get in a big old car
with a really dumb girl?
55
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,367
Dad...
56
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:16,667
...I got straight A's
and made the dean's list.
57
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:20,333
Son, I wish you could have been
alive back when I was.
58
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,500
Of course, I probably wouldn't
have let you hang out with me,
59
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:27,667
back when a time when a man could
be a man and a car could be a car.
60
00:05:27,734 --> 00:05:30,800
When we had one hand on the wheel
and one hand on the girl
61
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,900
and one hand on the stick.
62
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,633
That's what I liked about the old days.
We...
63
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,767
...had more hands.
64
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,300
Mom, I made the dean's list.
65
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,600
Oh, and I'm very proud of you.
66
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,233
Now tell me, honey...
67
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,667
...who is this dean?
68
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,834
Is he a nice boy?
69
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,533
Mom. Dad.
70
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:08,867
I am getting a raise
at the extermination company.
71
00:06:11,934 --> 00:06:15,567
I was also voted
Employee of the Month.
72
00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:18,700
So Pest Boys will hold an awards
ceremony for me in a few weeks.
73
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:21,033
-Oh, I gotta go tell my friends.
-Oh, honey.
74
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,800
They might even put my name
on the golden fly swatter.
75
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:30,834
Oh, Al. Our little girl is all grown-up.
76
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:35,734
Kind of puts this dean's thing
in perspective, don't it?
77
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:40,967
Kind of puts my genetic makeup
in perspective.
78
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:43,934
Listen to that, Peg.
Now he's using makeup.
79
00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:49,133
First this dean thing and now this.
80
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:53,467
Now look what you've done! You get
out of here! You've upset your mother!
81
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,934
Don't answer it, Peg.
He's from the mall.
82
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,700
They're coming to tell me
who I have to car pool with.
83
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:05,567
As far as I'm concerned,
they can rot out there.
84
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,200
Come in.
85
00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:10,567
Or they can rot in here with me.
86
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:13,700
Hi.
87
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:18,867
Are you Al Bundy?
88
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,834
Why, yes, I am.
89
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:33,333
Oh, and that's my....
My-- My housekeeper, Consuela.
90
00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:39,767
Oh, Consuela, upstairs-oh.
91
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,934
I'm his wife.
92
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,767
It's a marriage of convenience.
93
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:50,133
Unfortunately not mine.
I'm deporting her.
94
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,900
Can I get you a drink
or a condominium?
95
00:07:54,633 --> 00:07:56,200
No, thanks, Mr. Bundy.
96
00:07:56,266 --> 00:07:58,767
My name is Naomi
and I'm with Victoria's Secret.
97
00:07:58,834 --> 00:08:01,233
Oh, I love your work.
98
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,333
I know. I've seen
your face prints on the window.
99
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,767
The mall sent me over here to ask you
if you would join us in our car pool.
100
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,667
I'm in.
101
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,800
Let's go. Adiós, Consuela!
102
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,233
Actually, I'm not driving, but several
of our models do live in the area.
103
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,934
They do?
104
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,667
Oh, Consuela...
105
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:30,166
...we live model adjacent.
106
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:33,233
Blot your chin...
107
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,400
...and your pants.
108
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:39,700
So when do my models
come to get me?
109
00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:43,033
-Seven a.m.
-Good, I don't have to be there till 10...
110
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:49,467
...which gives me a lot of time for
coffee, cartwheels and a cold shower.
111
00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:53,266
He's just kidding about the shower.
112
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,600
-Here are your models' names.
-Why, thank you.
113
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:58,133
-Bye.
-Bye.
114
00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:09,800
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
115
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,200
Oh, my.
116
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:15,934
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
117
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,934
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
118
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:35,867
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
119
00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:42,700
So they tell me you girls are models
for Victoria's Secret.
120
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,266
Oh, we are.
121
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,400
We're Victoria's big secret.
122
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,867
Well, Victoria couldn't keep
a secret this big.
123
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,266
It's a new line of lingerie
for the full-figured woman...
124
00:09:57,333 --> 00:10:01,500
...because you know what they say.
"You're never too big to be sexy."
125
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,400
Oh, and do you know who says that?
126
00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:07,400
Fat girls.
127
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,800
So do you always go to work wearing
a suit and smelling of High Karate?
128
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:19,734
No. Do you always go to work wearing
curtains and smelling of Mars Bars?
129
00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:25,734
Sounds to me like you're full
of self-hate, Mr. Bundy.
130
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,734
Well, at least I'm full.
131
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:34,533
Would you mind turning on the radio,
I feel a crying jag coming on.
132
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,066
Say please.
133
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,767
There's a Chunky in it for you.
134
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,066
Oh, I love this song.
135
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:50,734
It reminds me of that summer
in Hawaii with Tony.
136
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,567
God, what a lover.
137
00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:55,867
Oh, man, he could do it
all night long.
138
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:59,400
Did I ever tell you about that time
me and Johnny Klog...
139
00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:01,633
...joined the mile-high club?
140
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,500
I was wearing this frilly little skirt
and not much underneath.
141
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:08,166
-Well--
-Pull over!
142
00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:15,900
-What?
-Pull over, I've gotta heave.
143
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,633
Shut up, or I'll pound you like
a scaloppini.
144
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,934
We're almost there.
145
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,367
The police. What did we do?
146
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:31,734
Well, I don't know.
Maybe we missed the truck scale.
147
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:40,567
But on the positive side...
148
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,533
...maybe they'll get me out of here
before I turn into a diamond.
149
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,033
-What seems to be the problem?
-Hi, I'm Alderman Johnson.
150
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:53,133
-Would you four be carpooling?
-No, I'm their lunch.
151
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,066
-What's up?
-Well, we were following you...
152
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,400
...and laughing and pointing.
153
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:03,000
And as it turns out,
despite our best efforts...
154
00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:06,967
...you're the only people carpooling
in all of Chicago.
155
00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:10,633
We're also the only people eating
snickerdoodles by the gallon.
156
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:14,333
Well, we'd like you and your friends
to represent the city
157
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,000
in its new media campaign,
"Everybody into the car pool."
158
00:12:18,066 --> 00:12:20,834
Forget it. You got the wrong guy.
159
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,567
Well, that's too bad, because your
first promotional appearance...
160
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:28,433
...would have been courtside
at the Chicago Bulls playoff game.
161
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:36,800
Say cheesecake.
162
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,567
Oh, here comes your daddy.
163
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,033
Hi, I'm Al Bundy...
164
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,767
...but many of you know me as...
165
00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:56,433
...Al Bundy.
166
00:12:56,500 --> 00:13:00,100
There was a time I scored four
touchdowns in one game on this field...
167
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,200
...but now I can't run four feet...
168
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,934
...without being tackled
by someone else's garbage.
169
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,567
Be a part of my team.
170
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:16,266
Two, four, six, eight
Pick up litter, clean your plate
171
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:20,433
Yay, Keep Chicago Clean!
172
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,266
Score a touchdown for mother earth.
173
00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:32,667
Let's help keep Chicago
green and clean.
174
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,934
Please.
175
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,367
What a load.
176
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,734
Mom, isn't Dad being just
a tad hypocritical?
177
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,900
That was the first time I've seen him
walk the field without taking a whiz.
178
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,033
Since he's been on billboards
and the side of buses,
179
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,867
he has been an insufferable pig.
180
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,533
Whoa, that was a big word.
181
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,600
There are no big words,
just little heads.
182
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:12,734
Now, kids, maybe we should give
your father the benefit of the doubt.
183
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,367
Maybe he's learned something.
184
00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:17,367
Maybe he really does care
about the environment.
185
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:21,433
I'm in the money
I'm in the money
186
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:34,800
Did I tell you about the cutest thing
Paulina did at the mayor's office?
187
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:38,500
We don't wanna hear
about your fat friends.
188
00:14:39,266 --> 00:14:40,600
They're not fat.
189
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:43,700
They just eat way, way too much.
190
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,700
I don't get it. Everyone in this town
loves what I'm doing but you guys.
191
00:14:49,233 --> 00:14:51,300
You swine.
192
00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:54,300
And our next-door McNugget.
193
00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:59,266
Do you realize...
194
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:03,700
...that you have cost me
my job at the bank again?
195
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:07,567
They have demoted me
to drive-up teller again!
196
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:09,333
What happened?
197
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600
Al called the bank president
and asked:
198
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:14,266
"How can you say
you're environmentally correct...
199
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:18,533
...and yet have an employee who would
disconnect her car's smog device?"
200
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,400
I'll have you know that
I religiously get my car tuned up...
201
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:25,200
...and I will expose you
for the liar that you are!
202
00:15:25,266 --> 00:15:27,934
I will prove myself innocent
of these false allegations!
203
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,834
My car is no gas-guzzler!
204
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:32,333
-It is clean as a wh--
-Marcy...
205
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,200
...I disconnected your smog device.
206
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,266
Did you?
207
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:47,967
If I may be so patient as to ask why?
208
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,900
I'm a guy.
209
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:55,567
Well, just come with me...
210
00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:58,567
...and we can disconnect that too.
211
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:04,900
Al, I told you that in the strictest
confidence. What're you doing?
212
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:06,934
Blabbing.
213
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,533
The smog device
can be put back on...
214
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,934
...if you just give me your credit card.
Please!
215
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,500
Man, I love this gig.
216
00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:19,033
I never realized
how much power I've got.
217
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:22,233
But, Dad, if you don't
really believe in this ecology stuff...
218
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:26,633
...then doesn't that make you
a lying bag of sleaze?
219
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:31,734
Yes, son, but a rich
lying bag of sleaze.
220
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:37,700
You see, we celebrities don't really
believe the stuff we're paid to say.
221
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:40,033
-Well, then why do you do it?
-To make money.
222
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,533
And get out of the house.
223
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,200
That is the American dream,
and by God I'm living it!
224
00:16:45,266 --> 00:16:48,200
I'm so happy, I could almost cry.
225
00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:51,934
In fact, I am crying.
226
00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:59,233
My friends and I
are doing the right thing.
227
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,767
Why?
228
00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:03,166
Because we're carpooling.
229
00:17:05,867 --> 00:17:09,333
-Good morning, ladies.
-Morning, Al.
230
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,700
When I'm off to work,
I'm not selfish...
231
00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:15,433
...because I drive to work with my....
232
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,867
My friends.
233
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:23,367
-How about some doughnut holes, Al?
-Thank you, Monique.
234
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,500
That's enough.
235
00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:29,800
As you can see, when you have
a lot riding on your tires...
236
00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:33,533
...you help not only the environment,
but you make friends.
237
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,467
And after a leisurely breakfast
of doughnut holes and sorghum...
238
00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:40,433
...you can sit back
and enjoy the ride.
239
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,166
Mother Nature says, "Hey."
240
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,033
Father Time says, "Yikes."
241
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:55,333
Don't worry, you'll have your moment
when they start couch pooling.
242
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:59,000
The girls are coming
to discuss next week's itinerary.
243
00:17:59,066 --> 00:18:01,834
Remember, no fat jokes.
244
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,333
But they're fat.
245
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:08,667
They're not fat.
They just have cream filling.
246
00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,467
Come in, ladies.
247
00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:13,633
Hi.
248
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,433
-Got any munchies?
-Right over there.
249
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,567
Come on in, everybody.
250
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,900
I'll get some milk.
251
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,667
Here.
252
00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,633
Al, wait'll you hear this.
253
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:34,600
We've been invited to Los Angeles.
We're gonna be on Vicki.
254
00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:38,600
And do guest voices
on Captain Planet.
255
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:42,367
I haven't been this happy since--
256
00:18:42,433 --> 00:18:45,400
You installed seats
in your refrigerator?
257
00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:54,367
Allow me to introduce my family.
This is my wife, Peggy...
258
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:57,433
...this is my son, Shecky.
259
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,266
Oh, Al, we're going to L.A.
260
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,233
Just think of the things to see.
261
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,200
Wendy's. Winchell's.
Der Weinerschnitzel.
262
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,533
It's so exciting!
263
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:15,800
Congratulations, Mr. Bundy.
264
00:19:15,867 --> 00:19:19,367
You and your gals have practically
put Chicago on the map.
265
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:22,667
Hey, Chicago
was already on the map.
266
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:25,900
-Do you vote?
-No.
267
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,333
Then I wasn't talking to you.
268
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,567
Now, before you go to L.A.,
269
00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:36,066
we'd like you to kick off
our new campaign
270
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:39,667
by making a speech in front
of the most toxic plant in Chicago.
271
00:19:39,734 --> 00:19:43,734
We want you to tell the world
that our program is going nationwide
272
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,834
that polluters like this
may soon no longer exist.
273
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,467
What do you say?
274
00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:50,734
-Will there be shrimp?
-There will.
275
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:53,200
We're there!
276
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:01,300
Daddy.
277
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,667
In here, pumpkin.
278
00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:07,800
Tomorrow I'm giving a speech and with
you getting employee of the month...
279
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:12,333
-...and Bud on the queen's list--
-That's dean's list.
280
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,934
Yeah, like there's a difference.
281
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,433
It's gonna be a banner day
for the Bundys.
282
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:23,033
Well, that's just it, Dad.
I may not be employee of the month.
283
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:26,233
See, tomorrow
a certain environmental group...
284
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,834
...will speak
in front of the extermination company.
285
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,433
And when they find out that
a certain spokesman
286
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:35,834
is related to a certain verminator,
I'm gonna lose my job.
287
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:39,633
Oh, no. I'm speaking
at a horrible toxic-waste plant.
288
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,066
What the hell do you think we are?
289
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:45,000
I mean, until last week
that's how we advertised.
290
00:20:45,066 --> 00:20:47,567
-But, pumpkin.
-Pumpkin?
291
00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:49,834
Pie? Where?
292
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,467
Al, you know what you have to do.
293
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:15,967
You are the greatest daddy
in the whole world.
294
00:21:16,033 --> 00:21:19,200
You gave up all your dreams for me.
Why?
295
00:21:19,266 --> 00:21:22,934
-Well, I l--
-Love me?
296
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,400
No, pumpkin,
I was gonna say I lost my mind.
297
00:21:27,266 --> 00:21:29,734
So I don't get my 15 minutes of fame.
298
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,734
That just means
Pauly Shore gets a half-hour.
299
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:36,700
-He is funny, isn't he?
-No.
300
00:21:37,367 --> 00:21:41,266
But, pumpkin, my job as a parent
is not to be famous...
301
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,000
...but to do the best that I can...
302
00:21:43,066 --> 00:21:46,400
...so that my children
can have the things I never did.
303
00:21:46,467 --> 00:21:48,567
The world I leave behind.
304
00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:51,800
That is my legacy to you.
305
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,166
You first, sweetheart.
24315
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