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1
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,884
Hello, Naomi.
2
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,351
Count your lucky stars, babe.
3
00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:26,185
Bud Bundy's in the house.
4
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:29,018
Bud Bundy?
5
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:32,453
We met at the frat party
last weekend.
6
00:01:32,651 --> 00:01:35,053
I was the one who found
your underwear.
7
00:01:36,051 --> 00:01:38,087
On the ceiling, right.
8
00:01:38,418 --> 00:01:41,388
Say, listen, seems I have
a last-minute cancellation...
9
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:44,388
...in my social calendar
any night of the week...
10
00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:47,054
...and, well, I was wondering
if you'd like--
11
00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:49,556
You would? This Saturday night?
12
00:01:49,753 --> 00:01:52,489
Okay, Al. I'm ready.
13
00:01:52,687 --> 00:01:55,157
I'm gonna call you
right back with the address, okay?
14
00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:58,091
My masseuse is just leaving.
15
00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:09,592
Let's go, Al.
16
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,392
Oh, feeling any better, Bud?
17
00:02:14,224 --> 00:02:16,460
Is that you, Ma?
18
00:02:17,691 --> 00:02:20,861
Oh, I just feel awful
that you and Kelly got sick...
19
00:02:21,059 --> 00:02:23,662
...and can't come with us
to my family reunion.
20
00:02:23,859 --> 00:02:26,295
And I really hate to leave you
in this condition.
21
00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:30,898
After all, I wouldn't want people
to think I'm an unfit parent.
22
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,929
Let's see this.
23
00:02:34,095 --> 00:02:36,797
Ninety-eight point six.
24
00:02:36,995 --> 00:02:38,496
Is that good?
25
00:02:40,196 --> 00:02:41,464
Nope.
26
00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:44,633
Oh, maybe I really should stay home.
27
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,899
I hate to miss out
on the festivities though.
28
00:02:47,097 --> 00:02:48,732
This year they're gonna celebrate...
29
00:02:48,898 --> 00:02:52,001
...the first annual
Wanker County Olympic Games.
30
00:02:53,098 --> 00:02:55,167
Damn this fever.
31
00:02:56,798 --> 00:03:00,235
You and Dad
have a tire-hugging good time.
32
00:03:00,432 --> 00:03:05,471
Oh, we will.
Bye, Buck. Bye, house. Bye, couch.
33
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:08,170
Oh, boy.
34
00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:12,103
Let's go, Al.
35
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:26,107
-Oh, Peg, do I have to?
-Yes.
36
00:03:26,304 --> 00:03:28,173
As the only
non-blood relative invited...
37
00:03:28,371 --> 00:03:30,773
...they're counting on you
to officiate the Olympics.
38
00:03:30,971 --> 00:03:35,042
Now, let's go before we miss
the ceremonial lighting of cousin Jeb.
39
00:03:36,105 --> 00:03:38,974
Oh, all right.
Have we got everything?
40
00:03:39,173 --> 00:03:41,808
-The water-purification tablets?
-Check.
41
00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:44,809
The meat-fish-grain
purification tablets?
42
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:48,210
-Check.
-The Wanker translation book?
43
00:03:48,407 --> 00:03:51,710
-You know, English to gibberish.
-Check.
44
00:03:51,908 --> 00:03:54,777
Dad, you want me
to take the bag to the car?
45
00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,977
No, she can walk.
46
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:02,412
Listen, if you don't
hear from me at least once a day...
47
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:06,481
...Aunt Skeeter probably violated parole
and baked me into one of her pies.
48
00:04:07,244 --> 00:04:08,913
In which case, call 911...
49
00:04:09,111 --> 00:04:12,648
...or as they say in Wanker County,
"Nine hundred and eleven."
50
00:04:14,112 --> 00:04:16,181
Hey, Bud, guess what?
51
00:04:17,512 --> 00:04:20,282
Damn this fever.
52
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,115
When will it end?
53
00:04:22,313 --> 00:04:24,649
Oh, poor thing.
54
00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:27,917
Hey, Peg, I think I'm coming down
with something.
55
00:04:29,581 --> 00:04:32,817
Yes. You're coming down with me
to Wanker County.
56
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:36,251
Bags, then go.
57
00:04:37,516 --> 00:04:39,318
Come on.
58
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:48,021
-Well, they're gone.
-For a whole week.
59
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:49,586
And guess what, Kel?
60
00:04:49,784 --> 00:04:53,254
Saturday night I got a shot at a babe
who hasn't used the word "no"...
61
00:04:53,451 --> 00:04:57,055
...since the last time someone asked
her if she ever used the word "no."
62
00:04:58,187 --> 00:05:01,723
Well, what if I said that I needed
the house next Saturday night?
63
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,189
What if you said you were on fire?
64
00:05:04,587 --> 00:05:06,889
I mean, either way
it means nothing to me.
65
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:11,192
Then you'll have to tell the little
children they'll never learn to read.
66
00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:14,792
Kel, there's nothing
you can say to me right now that--
67
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:20,392
Tell what little children
they'll never learn to read?
68
00:05:20,590 --> 00:05:24,727
Well, you know that anti-illiteracy
campaign that I've been so active in?
69
00:05:27,624 --> 00:05:30,694
-No.
-That's the one.
70
00:05:30,891 --> 00:05:32,193
You see, Budrick...
71
00:05:32,392 --> 00:05:34,928
...these kids look at me
as the Verminator...
72
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:39,397
...and all they see is glamour
and bright lights and deadly poison...
73
00:05:39,593 --> 00:05:43,630
...but I'm more than just a sexy chick
who kills bugs. I'm a role model.
74
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:47,131
So I volunteered to shoot a public
service announcement in the house...
75
00:05:47,328 --> 00:05:49,030
...to encourage them to read.
76
00:05:53,462 --> 00:05:56,199
But, Kel, you can't read.
77
00:05:58,063 --> 00:06:01,233
Yeah, well, you can't score,
but you still have a bed.
78
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:09,202
I just thought that it was time that I
gave something back to the community.
79
00:06:09,399 --> 00:06:13,102
Well, judging by the lines
at the free clinic you already have.
80
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,535
You know, that's the sort of crack...
81
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,470
...that would make the old Kelly call
you a "rubber-loving Barbie thumper."
82
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,203
But that's the old Kelly.
83
00:06:27,402 --> 00:06:29,304
The new Kelly
is simply gonna ask you...
84
00:06:29,502 --> 00:06:31,504
...to let me have the house
next Saturday...
85
00:06:31,669 --> 00:06:35,439
...so I can show these kids the beauty
of The Little Engine That Could.
86
00:06:36,269 --> 00:06:37,971
I loved
The Little Engine That Could.
87
00:06:38,137 --> 00:06:42,308
Yeah, we all did, Bud,
but some of us have moved on.
88
00:06:42,871 --> 00:06:45,640
"'Puff, puff, chug, chug,'
went the little blue engine."
89
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:50,942
"'I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can, I think I can.
90
00:06:51,139 --> 00:06:53,508
I think I can.'"
91
00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:02,277
You know, this would make a great
TV movie starring Robert Urich...
92
00:07:02,474 --> 00:07:05,211
...or that brawny Facts of Life girl.
93
00:07:08,642 --> 00:07:11,946
Wait a second, what's that smell?
94
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:13,910
It's you.
95
00:07:14,109 --> 00:07:16,912
Bud, you smell good. What's wrong?
96
00:07:17,677 --> 00:07:19,111
It's my brand-new scent.
97
00:07:19,311 --> 00:07:21,079
Guaranteed to attract the ladies.
98
00:07:21,277 --> 00:07:22,946
Yeah? What's it called?
99
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,880
"Simply Abe."
100
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:36,417
And if that's not enough,
I got another buck taped to my thigh.
101
00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:39,649
-Well, good luck.
-Thanks.
102
00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:43,418
And have fun
doing your commercial.
103
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:45,416
Thank you.
104
00:07:48,282 --> 00:07:50,484
-Bye.
-See you.
105
00:07:51,883 --> 00:07:54,319
Okay. He's gone.
106
00:08:07,252 --> 00:08:10,889
Thanks. I was getting kind of bored
out there, so I took some pictures.
107
00:08:11,086 --> 00:08:12,754
See?
108
00:08:15,353 --> 00:08:18,089
This one here's from the house
across the street.
109
00:08:18,287 --> 00:08:20,056
It's nice. Thank you.
110
00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:23,357
Where the hell
does she find these guys?
111
00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:26,924
So you wanna fool around
on the couch?
112
00:08:27,122 --> 00:08:28,791
Relax, Gunther, we've got hours.
113
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:31,491
I mean, Bud really thinks
I'm shooting a commercial.
114
00:08:32,489 --> 00:08:35,492
-What a Mormon.
-I know.
115
00:08:38,424 --> 00:08:40,526
So you wanna fool around
on the couch?
116
00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:43,660
Gunther, you don't just come
into my house...
117
00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:46,094
...covered with oil,
smoking a smelly cigar...
118
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,561
...and ask me to fool around
on my mother's couch.
119
00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:50,828
I mean, that would be a sign
of low breeding.
120
00:08:52,826 --> 00:08:55,729
Here, we'll fool around
on the floor behind the couch.
121
00:08:59,827 --> 00:09:02,530
Gunther, what did you forget to do?
122
00:09:02,728 --> 00:09:07,700
-Oh. Sorry.
-Well, take it out.
123
00:09:12,096 --> 00:09:15,299
-Is that better?
-Yes.
124
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,801
I know this may not be
quite as comfortable...
125
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:31,235
...as what you're used to, my dear...
126
00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:36,137
...but personally,
I find making love indoors restrictive.
127
00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:40,104
So I'm glad that attendant
threw us out of his photomat.
128
00:09:40,468 --> 00:09:43,171
You're as broke
as a two-dollar wristwatch, aren't you?
129
00:09:43,368 --> 00:09:46,638
And hornier than a funeral
in New Orleans, baby.
130
00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:52,671
Shall we?
131
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:56,573
-No.
-No?
132
00:09:57,937 --> 00:10:00,306
Where'd you pick up
that kind of language?
133
00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:04,342
Look, I don't know what kind of tramp
you think I am.
134
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:06,774
Just because a man
can build a nest like a wren...
135
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,675
...doesn't mean
I'll make out with him. Goodbye.
136
00:10:11,873 --> 00:10:15,310
But I'm wearing "Simply Abe."
137
00:10:26,743 --> 00:10:28,745
You know, Kelly,
I can't help but feel...
138
00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:33,047
...that this is, in some small way,
my fault.
139
00:10:34,444 --> 00:10:36,145
See you.
140
00:10:39,778 --> 00:10:42,748
Who's gonna tell Mom
you burnt up her couch?
141
00:10:43,112 --> 00:10:45,448
Wait, wait a second.
142
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:49,149
I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can.
143
00:10:59,681 --> 00:11:02,517
I can't believe you burned down
Mom's couch.
144
00:11:02,716 --> 00:11:07,187
Well, I can't believe you bought that
stupid "concern for illiteracy" crap.
145
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:09,785
If you had doubted me
the way you're supposed to...
146
00:11:09,984 --> 00:11:12,152
...this never would have happened.
147
00:11:12,351 --> 00:11:14,720
Nice try, pyro-nymph.
148
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,687
-Bud, you've got to help me.
-Oh, well, sure.
149
00:11:19,885 --> 00:11:22,755
If you don't mind living
a life of servitude and degradation...
150
00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:25,688
...I hear Saudi Arabia needs blonds.
151
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:30,257
I am not asking for me.
I'm asking for Mom.
152
00:11:30,454 --> 00:11:33,757
I mean, this couch is her life.
She can't go on without it.
153
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:38,492
Bud, if she finds out about this
it could kill her.
154
00:11:39,321 --> 00:11:42,291
Kelly, don't you think
you're exaggerating just a little?
155
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:49,960
-Hello?
-Is my couch okay?
156
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:54,461
Your couch?
Why, yes, Mom. It's fine. It's lovely.
157
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:57,494
-Why do you ask?
-Well, the funniest thing...
158
00:11:57,691 --> 00:12:02,329
...for no reason, my rear end
suddenly got warm.
159
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,362
Mom, what could have happened
to the couch...
160
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,496
...that's worse than you and Dad
sitting on it, right?
161
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:11,663
Yeah. I guess I'm just being silly.
162
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:15,397
-Anyway, wanna say hi to your father?
-No.
163
00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:22,367
Last contestant in the rooster toss:
Cousin Zeke.
164
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:31,700
Okay. That's 40 feet.
That's a winner.
165
00:12:31,897 --> 00:12:34,133
Congratulations, Zeke.
166
00:12:34,331 --> 00:12:39,603
We shall now have the ceremonial
running of the pigs.
167
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:44,402
Not at me, you hillbillies!
168
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,269
Well, you guys have fun...
169
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,669
...and don't worry
about the couch, okay?
170
00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:56,171
-Say goodbye to Dad for me.
-Al, the kids said goodbye.
171
00:12:56,369 --> 00:12:58,971
Peg! To Serve Man...
172
00:12:59,168 --> 00:13:01,804
...it's a cookbook!
173
00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:08,540
-Bud, we're doomed.
-"We"? Wait a second.
174
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:11,573
I didn't have anything to do with this.
I was out with a girl.
175
00:13:11,771 --> 00:13:14,574
And you really think
they're gonna believe that?
176
00:13:16,772 --> 00:13:18,774
Okay, I'll help.
177
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:22,608
If we're gonna get a new couch,
we need is a picture of the old one.
178
00:13:22,806 --> 00:13:26,277
Great idea. Bud, you are a genius.
179
00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:33,409
Alrighty. Now what?
180
00:13:34,508 --> 00:13:37,811
Now we send this to Ripley's
along with your picture.
181
00:13:42,143 --> 00:13:44,379
I meant a picture before the fire.
182
00:13:44,577 --> 00:13:46,946
Okay, I'm gonna get
Mom's photo album.
183
00:13:47,141 --> 00:13:49,784
There's probably more pictures of
the couch in here than there are of us.
184
00:13:49,784 --> 00:13:50,878
There's probably more pictures of
the couch in here than there are of us.
185
00:13:56,479 --> 00:13:57,747
I can't believe it.
186
00:13:57,946 --> 00:14:00,649
Went to every store in town
and nobody had that couch.
187
00:14:00,846 --> 00:14:03,148
Well, I say we get
the Guadalajara Yellow Pages...
188
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:05,348
...and start calling Goodwill.
189
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,982
Well, I will not give up.
190
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,017
The good thing is is that we still have
another week to look.
191
00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:13,616
Hello?
192
00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:17,552
Honey, we're coming home early.
Your father's had a little accident.
193
00:14:17,749 --> 00:14:21,085
Accident, my ass!
They skinned me alive, Peg.
194
00:14:22,183 --> 00:14:25,620
Well, you know, you know better than
to stand too close to cousin Blinky...
195
00:14:25,784 --> 00:14:28,186
...when he's filleting ferret.
196
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,020
Anyway, Kelly,
we're coming home tomorrow.
197
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,120
And you know, I just can't wait to--
198
00:14:33,285 --> 00:14:34,919
Bud, they're coming home tomorrow.
199
00:14:35,119 --> 00:14:38,889
Is there any way that I can talk you
into taking full blame for this?
200
00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:44,023
Sure. You can get me a woman
who won't say no.
201
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,156
So there's no way.
202
00:14:51,122 --> 00:14:53,124
Hey, guys.
203
00:14:59,423 --> 00:15:01,091
I got the scoop on your couch.
204
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,992
I got some friends
in the furniture business.
205
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,459
Well, actually they're in...
206
00:15:06,624 --> 00:15:11,062
...the "making false compartments
in the furniture" business.
207
00:15:11,225 --> 00:15:14,128
-But they gave me the lowdown.
-Oh, please, let this be easy.
208
00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:16,360
Please, please, please.
209
00:15:16,559 --> 00:15:19,696
This is not going to be easy.
210
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,728
This may come
as a surprise to you...
211
00:15:21,926 --> 00:15:25,697
...but your couch
wasn't exactly a popular item.
212
00:15:26,194 --> 00:15:28,630
How many were made?
What, a thousand? Five hundred?
213
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:30,996
-What?
-Two.
214
00:15:32,029 --> 00:15:35,399
-Well, how many did they sell?
-One.
215
00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:38,798
Great. Then all we gotta do
is find the one that they sold.
216
00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,765
How hard could that be?
217
00:15:44,431 --> 00:15:46,533
Boy, when your looks go,
you're dead.
218
00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,932
You're dead.
219
00:15:51,698 --> 00:15:54,167
Now, no one really knows
where the other couch is...
220
00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,834
...but I do know who made it
and where he lives.
221
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:59,302
Oh, then at least let this be easy.
222
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,336
This is not going to be easy.
223
00:16:02,534 --> 00:16:05,637
It seems the guy who built it
went insane.
224
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,136
How insane?
225
00:16:07,335 --> 00:16:10,505
Well, he spackled in his naval.
226
00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:14,205
He built a shrine to Larry
of the Three Stooges...
227
00:16:14,403 --> 00:16:17,139
...and he moved
deep into the woods.
228
00:16:17,703 --> 00:16:20,239
How deep into the woods?
229
00:16:40,106 --> 00:16:43,610
Hi. Are you Mary?
230
00:16:43,807 --> 00:16:46,376
My name is "Ma-ray." "Ma-ray."
231
00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,810
Oh, sorry.
232
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:53,846
-How do you spell "Ma-ray?"
-M-A-R-Y.
233
00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:05,316
-Well, then how do you spell Mary?
-M-A-R-Y.
234
00:17:08,912 --> 00:17:14,051
So are you busy or "bus-ay"?
235
00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:16,847
Depends.
236
00:17:17,047 --> 00:17:19,449
Are you from the escort service
I called in '79?
237
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,949
No. I'm here to see a man
about a couch.
238
00:17:23,148 --> 00:17:24,449
Well, come on in.
239
00:17:24,648 --> 00:17:27,584
But if the escort babe shows up
you're gonna have to leave.
240
00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:31,052
Besides, I don't know where you got
the idea that I have a couch.
241
00:17:34,916 --> 00:17:36,651
You want a couch, you go to a mall.
242
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,818
You want a chair, you go to a mall.
243
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,787
You want to see teenage girls
ride up and down escalators...
244
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:44,586
...with very short skirts,
you go to a mall...
245
00:17:44,751 --> 00:17:49,923
...but you wanna eat fried squirrel
off a dirt floor, you come here.
246
00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:52,754
-Can I get you anything?
-Cappuccino?
247
00:17:52,952 --> 00:17:54,220
-Decaf?
-Please.
248
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,188
Coming right up.
249
00:18:00,587 --> 00:18:02,089
What kind of couch you looking for?
250
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:06,625
Well, one with sturdy legs, you know,
that you could fall asleep on.
251
00:18:06,822 --> 00:18:09,258
That's what I ordered
from the escort service.
252
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,023
Sit down.
253
00:18:12,056 --> 00:18:13,824
Not there.
254
00:18:16,123 --> 00:18:17,191
Not there.
255
00:18:17,657 --> 00:18:19,759
-Then where?
-Right here.
256
00:18:19,957 --> 00:18:23,795
This is my bed. Sorry it's not made.
I wasn't expecting company.
257
00:18:29,793 --> 00:18:31,561
Thank you.
258
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,064
-Now, let's talk couches.
-Oh, great.
259
00:18:42,628 --> 00:18:44,430
Here's the one that we're looking for.
260
00:18:44,628 --> 00:18:46,563
They say that you're the man
who made it.
261
00:18:47,228 --> 00:18:50,465
No. Not this one. I was desperate.
262
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:53,799
My mother was sick.
We needed the money.
263
00:18:54,663 --> 00:18:57,066
Who are you to judge me?
264
00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:59,666
No, you don't understand.
We like the couch.
265
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:03,034
Yeah, so do I. This is from my
"furniture for white trash" line.
266
00:19:03,231 --> 00:19:07,169
The "drunken hillbilly" collection.
My one attempt at commercialism.
267
00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:09,635
God, I hate America.
268
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,968
Not the country. The rock group.
269
00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:18,969
-Say, look, Mary--
-"Ma-ray!"
270
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:22,838
Mary, "Ma-ray," madman....
271
00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:27,939
It's getting late and I'm kind of caught
short here without a silver bullet...
272
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,005
...so can you help me
replace the couch or not?
273
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,840
Well, I am sorry,
but I no longer build couches.
274
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:38,441
Now I just visualize world peace
and occasionally re-enact...
275
00:19:38,638 --> 00:19:40,206
...The Unsinkable Molly Brown.
276
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,374
However, I am willing to part...
277
00:19:43,572 --> 00:19:48,844
...with what is under this giant
spreading fungus over here.
278
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:56,276
It's perfect. It's perfect.
279
00:19:56,474 --> 00:19:59,877
-Even down to the stains.
-Made them myself.
280
00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:04,578
-How much?
-Don't insult me with money.
281
00:20:04,775 --> 00:20:07,678
Well, how can I insult you?
282
00:20:08,643 --> 00:20:14,415
With something I've been needing
and wanting for a very, very long time.
283
00:20:14,644 --> 00:20:19,048
And you're just the person
who can give it to me.
284
00:20:22,645 --> 00:20:25,481
I can't believe what you did
to get this couch.
285
00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:31,682
Well, he really wanted it, Bud.
286
00:20:34,447 --> 00:20:37,083
I mean, it's been years.
287
00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:41,050
We're home.
And I missed you so much.
288
00:20:41,248 --> 00:20:43,818
Oh, we missed you too, Mom.
289
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,352
It really is okay.
290
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:57,655
You know, this is the first time
my bottom has ever lied to me.
291
00:21:06,086 --> 00:21:08,688
-So how were the Olympics, Dad?
-Oh, fine, fine.
292
00:21:08,886 --> 00:21:12,857
You guys ever have a carrot peeler
run up and down your arms really fast?
293
00:21:13,754 --> 00:21:16,590
Of course you have.
What the heck, who hasn't?
294
00:21:16,854 --> 00:21:18,289
Well, I guess I'll go to bed.
295
00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:21,558
I haven't had
a good night's sleep since....
296
00:21:21,755 --> 00:21:23,590
Well, since I got married.
297
00:21:23,789 --> 00:21:26,258
Yeah, you know, I'm really tired too.
298
00:21:26,456 --> 00:21:29,625
Oh, come on Peg,
I already got skinned once today.
299
00:21:29,824 --> 00:21:31,625
Oh, Al, don't flatter yourself.
300
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:34,259
Not everything you do turns me on.
301
00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:37,894
Oh, baby.
The way you open your mouth.
302
00:21:38,058 --> 00:21:39,827
No, Peg.
303
00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:46,829
Kel, looks like
you're gonna get away with it.
304
00:21:47,026 --> 00:21:50,229
Though they're gonna find out
what you did to get this couch.
305
00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:53,796
Well, God knows
I didn't wanna do it...
306
00:21:54,361 --> 00:21:55,829
...but in today's world...
307
00:21:55,994 --> 00:21:58,797
...you gotta give something
to get something.
24348
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