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1
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,795
Okay, Enid, work with me here.
Pull it in.
2
00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,894
Pull in your talons.
We're almost there.
3
00:01:43,225 --> 00:01:46,695
See? I told you I was a four.
4
00:01:47,891 --> 00:01:52,629
No. "Fore" is what you'll have to yell
when the shoe pops off your foot.
5
00:01:53,158 --> 00:01:54,426
Now...
6
00:01:57,425 --> 00:01:58,693
...are we finished here?
7
00:01:58,892 --> 00:02:01,861
Well, I'm not sure
I like this shade of blue.
8
00:02:03,092 --> 00:02:04,894
I'll tell you what I'll do then:
9
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:10,030
We'll stand you in front of a mirror,
I'll begin strangling you.
10
00:02:10,858 --> 00:02:14,596
When you reach the shade of blue
that is satisfactory to you...
11
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:17,861
...you yell, "Moo" and I'll stop.
12
00:02:19,492 --> 00:02:22,495
That's it.
I'm taking my business elsewhere.
13
00:02:22,692 --> 00:02:24,627
May I suggest Jenny Craig?
14
00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:38,429
So how much do you figure
you owe this store in commissions?
15
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:40,861
I'm not selling shoes
for the money, Aaron.
16
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,729
I'm in it to torture fat women.
17
00:02:44,226 --> 00:02:47,929
-Where have you been?
-To buy you a birthday present. Here.
18
00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:53,995
It's Hot Dog... The Movie.
19
00:02:55,659 --> 00:02:57,895
I'd prefer hot dog, the hot dog.
20
00:02:59,493 --> 00:03:02,997
-That's due back at 10 a.m. tomorrow.
-Yeah, I know how it feels.
21
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:06,096
At least you didn't sing
"Happy Birthday" to me. I hate that.
22
00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:09,463
Nothing to do but stand like
an idiot till the damn thing's finished.
23
00:03:09,627 --> 00:03:12,196
I hope I get through the day
without someone singing it.
24
00:03:32,061 --> 00:03:33,729
-Hey, Aaron.
-Hey, Mr. D'Arcy.
25
00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:36,997
Anyway, Marcie and I just wanted
to wish you many happy returns.
26
00:03:37,794 --> 00:03:39,429
Actually, Marcie wanted to wish...
27
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,897
...that you get caught downwind
from your own feet and die...
28
00:03:43,261 --> 00:03:46,030
...but I wanted to wish you
many happy returns.
29
00:03:46,228 --> 00:03:50,498
Well, thanks, Jefferson.
Oh, and if you see the wife, floor it.
30
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:54,997
Here you are, buddy.
Happy birthday.
31
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,996
-What's this?
-It's a car-wash coupon.
32
00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:03,165
Thanks, but you know they won't let me
go through the car wash in the Dodge.
33
00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:05,129
Not a regular wash, Al.
34
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,496
This is a topless car wash.
35
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,997
"Soapy Headlights:
36
00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:20,398
Where only the cars wear bras."
37
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:29,333
And it's conveniently located
just 70 miles out of town...
38
00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:32,098
...at the end of a long dirt road.
39
00:04:32,295 --> 00:04:33,997
But I don't understand.
40
00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:37,432
Both of you are married. Can't you
just look at your wives topless?
41
00:04:41,596 --> 00:04:44,232
-Have you seen his wife?
-Have you seen his wife?
42
00:04:45,596 --> 00:04:48,665
Let me explain. When you've been
married as long as I have...
43
00:04:48,829 --> 00:04:51,599
...you do not want
to see your wife topless.
44
00:04:51,796 --> 00:04:54,799
Speechless, maybe.
Headless, naturally.
45
00:04:54,996 --> 00:04:58,132
But never, ever topless.
46
00:04:59,629 --> 00:05:02,131
Come on, Al.
Marcie's car could use a good buffing.
47
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,832
As could I.
Come on, let's go now.
48
00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:07,799
I can't. I promised I'd go home
for my birthday party.
49
00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:10,699
That's where the kids are gonna
give me God-awful presents.
50
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:13,999
Sometimes I think that there actually
might be a store out there...
51
00:05:14,196 --> 00:05:17,399
...with presents just for me
that's named "God-awful."
52
00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:21,690
The topper is, Peg's probably gonna
make me a cake as only she can.
53
00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:21,863
The topper is, Peg's probably gonna
make me a cake as only she can.
54
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,067
Cake looks good this year.
What kind is it?
55
00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:38,901
Well, it's either chocolate
or Uncle Ben's Minute Rice.
56
00:05:40,797 --> 00:05:42,432
-Now, do we have any candles?
-Nope.
57
00:05:42,631 --> 00:05:48,003
Dad said no candles this year,
because of last year's little mishap.
58
00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:52,335
Hey, I just thought that Roman candles
meant that they were imported.
59
00:05:54,064 --> 00:05:56,399
You know, from Romani.
60
00:05:58,197 --> 00:06:01,834
It's amazing.
Dad's looks and Buck's brains.
61
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:08,135
At least I've never tried
to date one of my plastic toys.
62
00:06:10,931 --> 00:06:12,533
What did you get Dad
this year, Mom?
63
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:16,068
Well, I was in the mall
and there it was.
64
00:06:16,265 --> 00:06:19,535
There's this new photography studio
called "Sex You Up"...
65
00:06:19,731 --> 00:06:21,900
...and they specialize
in boudoir photos.
66
00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:25,602
You know, where they, like, lay you
on a bed and dress you up real sexy.
67
00:06:25,798 --> 00:06:28,901
Oh, you mean like the picture
on Kelly's driver's license?
68
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:33,835
That may be, but I've never gotten
a ticket, now, have I?
69
00:06:34,865 --> 00:06:36,500
Gee, I hope I did the right thing.
70
00:06:36,699 --> 00:06:39,201
He said what he really wanted
was an oil filter.
71
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:43,236
But what's he gonna do
with a silly thing like an oil filter?
72
00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:46,133
Daddy's home.
73
00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:55,666
Is it him?
74
00:06:55,865 --> 00:07:00,804
I can't tell. It's either Daddy
or there's a new pope.
75
00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:06,667
Shut up!
76
00:07:16,499 --> 00:07:20,270
Well, let's get this charade over with.
Where's my cardboard cake?
77
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,268
It's over on the table, Dad.
78
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:31,402
Anybody wanna light the dog?
I'll make a wish.
79
00:07:32,399 --> 00:07:35,936
Well, wait, Daddy,
you gotta open your presents first.
80
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,269
"God-awful." I knew it!
81
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,402
I really think
you're gonna love this, Daddy.
82
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:44,703
Happy birthday, Dad.
83
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,669
Two of something I don't want.
84
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,836
That's the second time
that's happened.
85
00:08:10,034 --> 00:08:12,904
Well, we can exchange them
for you, Dad.
86
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,004
Okay, but I don't know
what good it's gonna do.
87
00:08:25,801 --> 00:08:27,469
Excuse us.
88
00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:31,003
We can't be related.
89
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:37,806
So, what did you get me this year, Peg?
My usual get-out-of-sex-free card?
90
00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:40,003
No, honey.
91
00:08:40,201 --> 00:08:43,137
This year I got you
something really special.
92
00:08:43,335 --> 00:08:46,304
Now, I'm a little nervous about this.
93
00:08:46,935 --> 00:08:48,937
Happy birthday, Al.
94
00:09:01,502 --> 00:09:03,538
Oh, Peg!
95
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,639
-You like it?
-I love it.
96
00:09:08,135 --> 00:09:09,804
Who is she?
97
00:09:13,102 --> 00:09:15,204
It's me.
98
00:09:15,469 --> 00:09:16,670
Now, come on, honey.
99
00:09:17,869 --> 00:09:19,671
Tell me what you really think.
100
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:23,273
Well, I think you look--
101
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,303
WIFE-O-METER
102
00:09:25,502 --> 00:09:26,503
I think you look--
103
00:09:26,703 --> 00:09:27,704
A: OLD
104
00:09:27,869 --> 00:09:31,506
CONSEQUENCES: GROIN PULL.
POSSIBLE HEAD TRAUMA.
105
00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:34,304
B: GOOD AFTER TEN BEERS
106
00:09:34,502 --> 00:09:37,505
CONSEQUENCES: GROIN PULL.
DEFINITE HEAD TRAUMA.
107
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:40,104
C: BEAUTIFUL
108
00:09:40,303 --> 00:09:41,538
CONSEQUENCES: GROIN PULL...
109
00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:43,705
AFTER FAILURE TO KEEP
STRAIGHT FACE.
110
00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:46,338
D: NICE
111
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,572
CONSEQUENCES: MEANINGLESS
COMPLIMENT ACCEPTED.
112
00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:51,006
CONSEQUENCES: MEANINGLESS
MARRIAGE CONTINUES.
113
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,439
--nice.
114
00:09:58,003 --> 00:09:59,171
Oh, Al.
115
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:02,707
Oh, now, Peg,
please don't touch me on my birthday.
116
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,973
I want you to take this to work
with you and hang it up...
117
00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:08,906
...so I can be with you all day long.
118
00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:12,474
That kind of defeats the purpose
of going to work, doesn't it?
119
00:10:14,338 --> 00:10:17,207
No more than your paycheck does.
120
00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:22,040
Oh, I'm just kidding,
you big birthday lug, you.
121
00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:25,874
Now, I'm gonna put this right here so
you can remember to take it with you.
122
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:27,339
I'm not taking it!
123
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:29,796
It's my birthday.
I'm putting my foot down.
124
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:30,238
It's my birthday.
I'm putting my foot down.
125
00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:38,240
So, what's wrong with it?
126
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,340
I think she looks...
127
00:10:40,805 --> 00:10:42,240
...nice.
128
00:10:43,471 --> 00:10:45,106
It's not the point.
129
00:10:45,271 --> 00:10:47,673
You know why women want men
to hang their pictures?
130
00:10:47,871 --> 00:10:49,907
-So we appreciate--
-No!
131
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,140
It's to mark their territory.
132
00:11:05,339 --> 00:11:07,908
Are you sure you don't want
that picture up there...
133
00:11:08,072 --> 00:11:10,407
...so other guys
can't see how good she looks?
134
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,908
Oh, yeah, that's it.
135
00:11:17,239 --> 00:11:20,609
You see, Aaron, I've been married
to Peg for over 20 years.
136
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:23,609
I've seen her from the front
I've seen her from the back
137
00:11:23,806 --> 00:11:27,209
I've seen her in a chair
I've seen her in a sack
138
00:11:27,472 --> 00:11:29,341
I've seen her stand,
I've seen her crouch
139
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:32,041
I've seen her on our stupid couch
140
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,543
I do not like her in the mall
I do not like her in the hall
141
00:11:35,739 --> 00:11:39,843
I do not like her in my life
I do not like my big red wife
142
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,342
You're single. You don't understand.
143
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,742
Married men
are never jealous of their wives.
144
00:11:51,906 --> 00:11:55,276
That picture could be all over town.
Wouldn't mean a hill of beans to me.
145
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,909
They could put it
on the side of a milk carton.
146
00:11:58,106 --> 00:12:01,076
They could put it
on the side of the Sears Tower.
147
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,507
"Sex You Up"
PHOTO BOUTIQUE
148
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:05,209
They could even put it
on the side of--
149
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:09,209
Great Caesar's ghost!
150
00:12:18,907 --> 00:12:20,742
I'd do her.
151
00:12:27,241 --> 00:12:30,677
Oh, you're a guy with high standards.
You'd do Marcie.
152
00:12:32,107 --> 00:12:34,810
Jefferson, I gotta get them
to get that sign down.
153
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:36,308
-How come?
-He's jealous.
154
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:39,744
I'm not jealous. I respect other
men's rights not to turn to stone...
155
00:12:39,908 --> 00:12:42,244
...in front of my store, that's all.
156
00:12:42,407 --> 00:12:44,776
Jefferson, I want--
Will you stop leering at my wife!
157
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:46,076
I'm sorry.
158
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:47,775
You're good at talking to people.
159
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:51,078
You talked Marcie into believing
you married her for her looks.
160
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:55,345
Go to that photographer
and get him to take that sign down.
161
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,676
Maybe I can get him
to replace it with this:
162
00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:01,911
A picture I took of the girls
at the topless car wash.
163
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:06,079
-Where's your car?
-Oh, I took the bus over there.
164
00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:09,210
As long as I went...as I went
through it...
165
00:13:09,408 --> 00:13:11,043
...they didn't know the difference.
166
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,476
-Get out.
-Okay.
167
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:15,411
It's very important that sign
come down before Peg sees it.
168
00:13:15,609 --> 00:13:18,912
I want you to go outside and look
for her and yell when you see her.
169
00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:22,478
No, not her picture!
Not her picture! Her!
170
00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:28,277
Hi, Al. Did you see it?
171
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,979
Yes, Peg, I saw it.
Ray Charles would see it.
172
00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:33,444
But why is it up there?
173
00:13:33,642 --> 00:13:35,944
The photographer asked
to use one of my shots...
174
00:13:36,142 --> 00:13:37,477
...to advertise his business.
175
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,744
I just didn't think
he was gonna make it that--
176
00:13:40,009 --> 00:13:42,311
Shamu-lian?
177
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:45,111
Well, I was gonna say "gorgeous."
178
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,278
Kids, what do you think?
179
00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:50,812
Well, I think you look...
180
00:13:51,009 --> 00:13:52,544
...nice.
181
00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:55,812
You could see her from space.
182
00:13:56,476 --> 00:13:58,211
You would know.
183
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:05,681
Dad, we'd love to hang around
and share your proudest moment...
184
00:14:05,843 --> 00:14:08,212
...but anything just came up
and we gotta go.
185
00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,111
Oh, wait. But before we do...
186
00:14:10,276 --> 00:14:13,112
...we want to apologize
for yesterday's birthday boo-boo.
187
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,747
It's all fixed now. Here you go.
188
00:14:19,476 --> 00:14:23,113
Kids, come here. Come here.
189
00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:29,712
Get out.
190
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:33,046
-Bye, Dad.
-Happy birthday.
191
00:14:34,143 --> 00:14:38,481
Now, Peg, I haven't asked for much
and God knows I've gotten it.
192
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,947
But I think the picture ought to
come down. Now, I like it myself...
193
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:44,713
...but some people
have been complaining about it.
194
00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:47,046
Excuse me, miss.
195
00:14:47,877 --> 00:14:49,346
Hope I'm not too forward...
196
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:53,214
...but you are truly one of the most
beautiful women I have ever seen.
197
00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:58,649
And now that I see you in person,
that photograph doesn't do you justice.
198
00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:04,614
It's been a pleasure
to bask in your presence.
199
00:15:04,811 --> 00:15:06,312
Good day.
200
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:13,015
See, Peg, I told you
that people were complaining.
201
00:15:13,911 --> 00:15:15,412
You know what I think, Al?
202
00:15:15,612 --> 00:15:18,114
I think you're jealous.
203
00:15:18,311 --> 00:15:21,281
Jealous, Peg?
I'll tell you what I'm jealous of.
204
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:25,349
I'm jealous of any man who can come
home to a cold beer and a warm meal...
205
00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:27,080
...and a wife somewhat smaller...
206
00:15:27,278 --> 00:15:30,514
...than the Bullwinkle balloon
in the Macy's Day Parade.
207
00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:34,415
But if you think for one second
that I'm jealous of that picture...
208
00:15:34,612 --> 00:15:37,314
...you're out of your 9-foot mind!
209
00:15:37,712 --> 00:15:41,282
Boy, I'd love to put the top down
and test-drive that for a weekend.
210
00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:45,514
Yeah, nice little air bags too.
211
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,347
Excuse me, Peg.
212
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,149
With this jealousy garbage out
of the way, that picture comes down.
213
00:16:11,312 --> 00:16:12,513
Aaron, get a blowtorch.
214
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,148
Only if you'll admit
that you're jealous.
215
00:16:15,346 --> 00:16:17,047
I'm not jealous!
216
00:16:17,247 --> 00:16:19,415
Fine. Then you won't mind if it stays.
217
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:21,848
If it doesn't bother you,
it doesn't bother me...
218
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:24,849
...other than the low-grade nausea.
219
00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:27,515
All right then. I'll be seeing you.
220
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:30,315
And you'll certainly be seeing me.
221
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,316
Why can't you
ever say nice things like that?
222
00:16:47,513 --> 00:16:51,351
Why don't you just tell your wife
you're jealous and get it over with?
223
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,716
Aaron, let me explain
something to you.
224
00:16:56,914 --> 00:16:58,849
You don't know anything.
225
00:16:59,081 --> 00:17:02,851
Even if a man is jealous,
he can never, ever tell that to a woman.
226
00:17:03,047 --> 00:17:06,918
Well, that's like saying, "Here's
a hand grenade. Put it down my pants."
227
00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:11,551
Once they know you're jealous,
they've got you by your Bobbitt.
228
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:14,350
You will have lost
your last ounce of dignity.
229
00:17:14,548 --> 00:17:16,416
And like the once mighty
mahi-mahi...
230
00:17:16,615 --> 00:17:20,452
...you will end up on a pupu platter
in the tiki hut of life.
231
00:17:27,082 --> 00:17:28,350
Any questions?
232
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,283
-Do you want to lay down for a while?
-No!
233
00:17:31,481 --> 00:17:34,184
I don't have time to lie down.
Gotta get that picture down.
234
00:17:34,348 --> 00:17:37,618
I know Jefferson can do it.
He can con anybody.
235
00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:39,717
Hey, Al, guess what.
236
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:41,483
The "Sex You Up" photographer...
237
00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:46,886
...said I've got the best cheekbones
this side of Rob and Fab of Milli Vanilli.
238
00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,951
He's giving me a thousand headshots
for half price...
239
00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:53,151
...and I'm not giving
any of them away.
240
00:17:55,948 --> 00:17:58,284
I know now what I have to do:
241
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:01,403
Truly go where no man
has gone before.
242
00:18:01,403 --> 00:18:02,283
Truly go where no man
has gone before.
243
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,084
F.A.N.G.
244
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:06,851
FEMINISTS AGAINST
NEANDERTHAL GUYS
245
00:18:13,616 --> 00:18:16,685
Fellow Fangsters.
246
00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:21,653
I come before you this evening
not as a man...
247
00:18:25,749 --> 00:18:31,622
...but as a friend who understands
the plight of today's feminist.
248
00:18:31,816 --> 00:18:35,853
True, we have had our differences
in the past...
249
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,051
...but I have seen the light...
250
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,286
...and luckily,
there's not too much in here.
251
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:49,653
But to prove to you
that I have changed...
252
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:54,054
...I would like to extend
an olive branch of peace.
253
00:18:54,251 --> 00:18:56,953
A symbol of truce.
254
00:18:57,150 --> 00:19:01,455
You ladies would recognize them
as mustache combs.
255
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:05,320
Everyone gets one.
Everyone gets one.
256
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:11,918
Anyway, ladies.
257
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:16,521
We prefer
to be called "Gyno-Americans."
258
00:19:17,084 --> 00:19:20,120
Then "Rhino-Americans" it is.
259
00:19:21,884 --> 00:19:25,488
Anyway, a grave injustice...
260
00:19:25,684 --> 00:19:28,854
...has been going on
down at the New Market Mall.
261
00:19:29,051 --> 00:19:32,822
A real woman's body
is being exploited...
262
00:19:33,018 --> 00:19:34,853
...by men for profit.
263
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,354
Hang on to your flannel panties...
264
00:19:40,517 --> 00:19:42,920
...there's still time to act.
265
00:19:43,218 --> 00:19:46,888
I want every "gynoceros"
in this room...
266
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,921
...to charge down
to the New Market Mall...
267
00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:52,886
...and stop this dastardly deed.
268
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:55,320
Show them, as only you can...
269
00:19:55,518 --> 00:19:58,021
...that a woman's body
is not to be appreciated...
270
00:19:58,218 --> 00:20:00,887
...but to be feared, reviled.
271
00:20:01,085 --> 00:20:05,522
And in the case of most of you,
kept totally covered at all times.
272
00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:09,688
Hurry, my sisters, down to the mall,
but remember...
273
00:20:09,885 --> 00:20:12,421
...not more than three
in the elevator at one time.
274
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:20,223
What our hunting-and-gathering friend
here is trying to say...
275
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,389
...is that we have
important work to do.
276
00:20:23,552 --> 00:20:26,555
We must strike a blow...
277
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,687
...for all women.
278
00:20:31,885 --> 00:20:34,622
This cannot be a slap...
279
00:20:35,486 --> 00:20:36,654
...on the wrist.
280
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,556
It must be a punch...
281
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,422
...in the labonza to all oppressors.
282
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:48,090
And thank you for bringing this
to our attention, Al.
283
00:20:48,286 --> 00:20:50,054
You're welcome.
284
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:52,822
Skin him.
285
00:20:58,886 --> 00:21:00,154
And in other news...
286
00:21:00,354 --> 00:21:02,689
...crazed feminists charged
the New Market Mall...
287
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:06,257
...and pulled down an oversized
boudoir photo they deemed sexist...
288
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,656
...after storming
into a photographer's studio...
289
00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:10,855
...where local man Jefferson D'Arcy...
290
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,523
...was allegedly
posing nude on a bearskin rug.
291
00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:17,889
Mr. D'Arcy was dragged
by an unnamed body part...
292
00:21:18,087 --> 00:21:22,124
...and flung into the mall fountain
by the howling women.
293
00:21:24,921 --> 00:21:29,759
Women. Can't live with them,
can't herd them all into Canada.
294
00:21:30,654 --> 00:21:34,458
Al, did you have anything to do with
those women taking down my picture?
295
00:21:35,354 --> 00:21:38,924
Peg, on your mother's life, no.
296
00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,590
If it's anything I hate,
it's women's bodies being exploited.
297
00:21:43,754 --> 00:21:45,456
It has to stop for all our sakes.
298
00:21:45,754 --> 00:21:48,523
How very liberated of you.
299
00:21:48,854 --> 00:21:51,957
-Where you going?
-To get the car washed.
300
00:22:07,855 --> 00:22:09,323
Dad.
301
00:22:10,655 --> 00:22:13,558
Happy birthday.
302
00:22:15,022 --> 00:22:16,757
Let me guess.
303
00:22:17,155 --> 00:22:18,857
Pants.
304
00:22:19,622 --> 00:22:21,323
Look like these?
305
00:22:22,488 --> 00:22:24,257
Mine kind of do.
306
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,024
I told you he had pants.
307
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:33,493
-You didn't tell me he had gray ones.
-Yes. I've seen him wear pants before.
24508
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