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1
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,120
Hi, Kel. What are you listening to?
2
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,924
Radio Love-Line.
It's listener-dedication hour.
3
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,460
How many dedications did I get?
4
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,430
Three, actually.
5
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,766
"Lonely Boy"...
6
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,335
..."Like a Virgin"...
7
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:46,207
...and "When A Man Loves
A Rubber Woman."
8
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,647
And I suppose you got
your usual dedication:
9
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,116
"She Works Hard for the Money."
10
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,589
Well, whatever gave you the idea
that I am some cheap tramp?
11
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,592
And now, dedicated to Kelly:
12
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,094
"She Works Hard For--"
13
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,739
Oh, hi, Mom. Bud broke your radio.
14
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,442
That's okay. It was your father's.
15
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,677
Hey, kids, look what just came
in the mail.
16
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:27,815
It's my first Best of Oprah
videocassette.
17
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:32,653
"Volume one:
Mom's a Dad and I'm So Sad."
18
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:44,231
If the world had only one throat....
19
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,636
A fat woman
sloshed into the shoe store today...
20
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,472
...said she was retaining water.
21
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,841
I said not to worry about it.
22
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,776
The dam of cellulite
holding it back...
23
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,646
...should keep us all high and dry
for the next few years.
24
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,982
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry stun guns...
25
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,584
...but I'll tell you this--
26
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:08,289
There he goes again.
On and on about his non-life.
27
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,759
Hey, news flash, people.
You have a dog.
28
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,629
A dog who hasn't been brushed
or bathed in six years.
29
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,399
Now I know how Willie Nelson feels.
30
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,638
Hey, don't mind me. I'll just lick
my genitalia and go to sleep alone.
31
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,675
Much like the boy.
32
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,144
Hey, ever hear of affection?
33
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:34,081
We love to be petted,
much like the girl.
34
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:40,187
Well, that's it. I'm fed up.
I can takes no more. I'm out of here.
35
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,190
No, no, no.
Don't try and stop me now.
36
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,094
Well, thank you.
37
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,698
Okay, you'll be sorry.
38
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,171
Boy, am I sorry.
39
00:03:57,338 --> 00:04:00,574
Running away,
what the hell was I thinking?
40
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:04,078
Hey, you. New dog.
What are you in for?
41
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,514
I ran away from home
to teach my family a lesson.
42
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,383
Well, you know what they say:
43
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,853
"You can't teach an old family
new tricks."
44
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,722
That's what you think.
45
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:18,559
I'm sure right now my family's
beside themselves with grief.
46
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,563
So then, this skinny woman
with a hook nose...
47
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,865
...Olive Oyls into the shoe store...
48
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,601
...and says, "I want something
to make me look sexy."
49
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:31,071
So I say, "You'll have to wait
a long time before someone that ugly...
50
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,841
...comes in to stand next to you."
51
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,212
Excuse me, boy.
52
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:43,517
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry nunchucks--
53
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,988
Yeah, they're probably crying
their eyes out for me right now.
54
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,695
Hey, what's the boxer in for?
55
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,898
Oh, nothing, if you hear him tell it.
56
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,569
I'm innocent. Innocent.
57
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,811
You know I'm innocent, don't you?
58
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:15,382
Only in America
with our system of jurisprudence...
59
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:21,822
...would this have happened
to an upstanding boxer like yourself!
60
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,591
And who's that over there?
61
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,762
Oh, that's Madonna's dog.
62
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:32,733
After the book came out,
he turned himself in.
63
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,972
So how does it work around here?
I mean, like, when do we eat?
64
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,208
Eat? Let's see, it's almost 9....
65
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,444
About three days from now.
66
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,614
That soon? Hey!
67
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:52,553
I think I'm gonna like this place.
Yeah, too bad I won't be here long.
68
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,856
I mean, not with my family
out searching for me.
69
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,564
So then, this woman comes in...
70
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,333
...who doesn't speak English.
71
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:10,637
She points at the shoes,
I point at the door.
72
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:15,642
She points at the sky,
and knees me in the nay-nays.
73
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,612
I said--
74
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,581
-Come in!
-Come in!
75
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,152
Hi, Bud.
76
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,893
I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
77
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,361
-Oh, no!
-Oh, no. Not at all!
78
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,663
-We're very excited to see you.
-Sit down.
79
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,099
See you later. Bye.
80
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:45,005
Hey, Al, when was the last time
you got some good news?
81
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:50,477
Well, when I was 7
my mother told me I was adopted.
82
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,882
Which turned out to be a vicious lie,
but it was good news at the time.
83
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,451
Well, guess what's happening
in a week from now?
84
00:06:57,618 --> 00:07:02,890
The nudie bar is having their annual
Wrestle Till You're Raw Night.
85
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,926
Is it that time of year already?
86
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,463
God, time sure flies
when you're married and have no life.
87
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:14,134
They're selling raffle tickets
for a drawing to see who gets to...
88
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,103
...oil down the first girl.
89
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:22,276
Yes, first oil.
90
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,446
And you know who's gonna be
in the ring, don't you, buddy?
91
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,450
Maria Cantalopes Meyers?
92
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:37,858
Versus
Yolanda "Deep Shade" McSuade.
93
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,894
Wow, truly a battle of the titans.
94
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,834
Maria and the Shadester.
Four of my favorites.
95
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:52,272
Jefferson, I have to be the one
to get that first oil.
96
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,775
-How much are tickets?
-Twenty bucks a piece.
97
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,443
A little steep, huh?
98
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,748
Yolanda and Maria.
99
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,550
All right, well...
100
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,753
...turn around. I don't want you
to see where I hide the money.
101
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:19,566
Gee, I wonder what's taking
the family so long.
102
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,503
I mean, they sure act fast enough
when the blond girl gets lost.
103
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:28,208
Of course, unlike her
I've never got lost in the house.
104
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,178
They'll be here.
105
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,619
Poor fella.
I hate to see him suffer like that.
106
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,220
Me too.
107
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,490
Shall we tell him he's gonna die?
108
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:47,261
Yeah, why not. Hey, you, buckaroo.
109
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:51,131
There's something you ought
to know about this place.
110
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:55,769
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
I'm not anyone's bitch, okay?
111
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,946
No. No, not that.
112
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,349
Too bad though, he is a looker.
113
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:14,354
You better hope somebody comes in
to get you in seven days or less.
114
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,924
What happens after seven days?
115
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:20,560
Well, let's say you'll be drinking
out of God's toilet.
116
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,364
You mean, I'll-- I'll be dead?
117
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:28,235
Whoa, that's certainly a cage soiler.
118
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,704
Hey, but I'm not worried. I mean...
119
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,440
...I got four people
scouring the city for me right now.
120
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,042
Like, there's Bud, you know?
121
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,047
Well, if he can't even find
a two-legged dog...
122
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,749
...why would I think
he'd find a four-legged one?
123
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:48,622
Oh, but the girl--
The girl...is an idiot.
124
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:53,393
I wouldn't have any use for her at all
if she didn't undress in front of me.
125
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,529
Well, the redhead....
126
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,130
She wouldn't know I was gone...
127
00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:00,968
...unless my picture
was on the side of a bonbon box.
128
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:05,505
I guess my only hope is
the big dumb guy with the stinky feet.
129
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,874
My pal Al.
130
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,609
He won't let me down.
131
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,579
Besides, what else does he got going
in his life?
132
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,553
But-- But I don't wanna die!
I mean, I've got so much to live for.
133
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:24,291
I got balls yet to catch,
and cats to tree, bones to bury.
134
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,995
Gee, come to think of it,
we don't really do much, do we?
135
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,113
How does he do that?
136
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,851
Ever since his people had him fixed
he doesn't date much.
137
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,120
Oh, I see.
138
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,989
Hey, look, guys. I know
I'm only the new kid on death row...
139
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,760
...but given what seems to be in store,
shouldn't we be knee deep in our own--
140
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:04,297
Keep your fur on,
tall, dark and wormy.
141
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,266
It's visitor's day.
142
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,436
Why, we could get abducted.
143
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,310
No, no. He means adopted.
144
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:21,314
If a family comes in and likes you,
you're sprung.
145
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:31,158
Hey, pick me.
I'm really good with kids.
146
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,693
Hey, hey!
147
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:43,203
Hey, lady. I'm a genius in French,
so you'll take me, please.
148
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,008
I want this one.
149
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:52,379
Oh, but, honey, he's old and ugly.
150
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,981
Yeah, well, from where I stand...
151
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,285
...you're not exactly
Sharon Stone yourself.
152
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,826
How about we forget the whole thing
and go get an ice cream?
153
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:09,229
-Okay.
-Good boy!
154
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,405
I am not giving up!
155
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:21,842
If that family can look for a dog,
my family can look for a dog.
156
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:25,745
Besides, I've got seven days.
No problem.
157
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:32,419
Problem.
158
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:38,658
Al, have you noticed anything different
around the house lately?
159
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:43,029
You know, I just can't help but feel
that there is something missing...
160
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:46,733
...and I am very observant
about these things.
161
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,002
Eat up, boy.
162
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,183
Well, Peg, what do you think?
163
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,853
That is the most disgusting tie
I've ever seen.
164
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,857
I'm not talking about the tie,
I'm talking about the shirt.
165
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,494
Look okay? I wanna look my best
for Wrestle Till You're Raw Night.
166
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:18,064
You know, Larry Linville from M*A*S*H
is gonna be one of the judges.
167
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,670
So did Lumber City
give him the week off?
168
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,974
I'm going to the frat house.
How you doing, boy?
169
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:32,779
Hey, Bud, have you noticed
anything missing around here lately?
170
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,216
The van Gogh?
171
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,053
Mom, Dad, you're never gonna guess
what happened.
172
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,889
Okay, I was out walking Buck.
173
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,158
When suddenly I realized...
174
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,662
...that he wasn't stopping
at every tree and hydrant on the block.
175
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,065
And that's when I looked down
at the end of the leash...
176
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,801
...and saw that I was Buck-naked.
177
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,676
I knew something was missing.
178
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,912
He couldn't have been gone for long.
His food got eaten every day.
179
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,914
Al?
180
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,922
Oh, Buck's gone.
181
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,457
Okay now, kids...
182
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:22,295
...go outside and look under the house
where your father usually hides.
183
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:26,233
I'm gonna go get a flashlight.
We gotta find Buck.
184
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,939
Buck's gone?
185
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,130
-Nudie-mart!
-Nudie-mart!
186
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,565
-All right!
-All right!
187
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,067
Oh, bad news, Al.
188
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,371
They didn't draw my number
for first oil but...
189
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,007
...they drew yours.
190
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,145
Okay, you ready, Dad?
191
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:15,715
-Ready for what?
-To go find Buck.
192
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:19,219
Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled
from here to the nudie bar. Let's go.
193
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:23,723
Dad! Buck is the family dog and
the whole family should look for him.
194
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,759
Oh, pumpkin!
195
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:28,528
Now, if you were a dog,
where would you go?
196
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,563
Well, that depends.
197
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,166
Are you a dog too?
198
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,837
Al, I am serious. Buck could be hurt.
199
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,006
He could be lying in the gutter, Dad.
200
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:44,544
Did it ever occur to any of you
that Buck might have just run away?
201
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,647
I've thought of it myself
a million times.
202
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,784
He could be eating a steak right now,
drinking a daiquiri...
203
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,154
...or doing that little cocker spaniel
down the end of the street.
204
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,189
Our dog Buck...
205
00:15:56,356 --> 00:16:00,260
...might for the first time in his life
be truly happy.
206
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,029
Who cares? We want him back.
207
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,464
Yeah, we want Buck.
208
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,399
-Yeah, Dad.
-Dad, go find Buck.
209
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,101
I don't wanna have to go get--
210
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,938
Look, Al, I know you're in a bind,
but it's a quarter till.
211
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:16,509
Go ahead. Try to hold off the pouring
of the first oil. I'll get in the car...
212
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,913
...go around the block a few times
to find him. Shouldn't take long.
213
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,148
I'd like to--
214
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,585
Oh. Now, now, honey.
215
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:29,189
It's okay. Daddy'll find Buck.
216
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:33,159
Has he ever let you down before?
217
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,098
Oh, it's okay, honey.
218
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,499
You know, just remember...
219
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,068
...Daddy loves Buck
just as much as we do.
220
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,670
They're best friends.
221
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,174
Well...
222
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,244
...I found Buck. Now here, I gotta go.
223
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,114
Hey, wait a second!
224
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,794
This isn't Buck.
225
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:12,499
Well, that may be, but I still gotta go.
226
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,439
Okay, Al. Now, look...
227
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,508
...if pouring some oil
on some women...
228
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:25,145
...that even Senator Packwood
wouldn't grope...
229
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,314
...is more important to you...
230
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,251
...than reuniting
your faithful and loving puppy...
231
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:35,121
...with your faithful and loving family,
then just go.
232
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:39,459
But know that we'll be here
crying our eyes out.
233
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,329
Okay, okay.
234
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:46,699
-Bye.
-Get back here.
235
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:51,504
Well, Peg, Buck'll come home.
I always do.
236
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,475
Don't you know
tonight is very important to me.
237
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,921
Oh, not the theme to Lassie.
238
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,724
Anything but the theme to Lassie.
You know how it chokes me up.
239
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,103
All right, let's go find him.
Let's go find Buck.
240
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,573
And I really hate you guys for this.
241
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,576
Well, not just for this,
but especially this.
242
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,514
Oh, Lassie.
243
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,156
They're not really gonna take me
to the green door?
244
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:48,094
The Lord is my German shepherd,
I shall not want.
245
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,302
Doesn't he know any other songs?
246
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:05,812
-What was that?
-Be at peace, my son.
247
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,715
Oh, put a sock in it, padre.
248
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,852
If only my people
would come for me.
249
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,821
I promise, I'd never run away again...
250
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:19,425
...or chew on their shoes, or pass wind
and watch as they blame it on the boy.
251
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,930
It's-- It's them!
252
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,833
What is it, Peg? Why we've been
to about 40 of these places.
253
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,768
This is the last one, Al.
254
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,604
They've come to rescue me!
255
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,806
Gosh....
256
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,409
I knew they wouldn't forget me.
257
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,611
Well...
258
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,947
...he's not here.
259
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:45,051
Hey! Hey, yes, I am!
Hey, look down, you moron!
260
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,687
Well, are you sure, Al?
I mean, maybe we should--
261
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,423
Peg, don't you think if Buck were here
he'd be barking?
262
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:54,494
I know, because a man and his dog
have a bond.
263
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,430
And if-- Will you shut up, you mutt?
264
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:01,200
Oh, look at the cute puppies.
Hey, Daddy, can we get a puppy?
265
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,071
Oh, this one just licked my face.
266
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,707
"This dog licked my face."
267
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,110
You should have seen where
his tongue was a few minutes ago.
268
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,181
Fools, I'm down here.
269
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,717
Puppy'll cost you $15.
270
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:22,388
And could you speed it up a little bit.
I got an execution to do.
271
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:30,196
Wait a second.
This big one looks a little like Buck.
272
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:33,066
Well, that couldn't be.
273
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,134
You know the irony in this is...
274
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:38,237
...they should be putting you guys
to sleep in 30 seconds.
275
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,306
Well, wait a minute now.
276
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,674
-That is Buck!
-It is Buck!
277
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,142
-Buck! Buck!
-It is Buck!
278
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,411
Hey, hey, hey. That's our dog.
279
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,648
-He'll cost you 20 bucks.
-Twenty bucks?
280
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:52,018
Why, for 20 bucks
I can get a real good suit.
281
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:56,456
The fathead losered his way
into the pound today....
282
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,393
Well, I guess we'll take the old boy.
Yeah.
283
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,528
And we're never gonna let this
happen again.
284
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,531
Yeah. Everything's gonna be different
from now on, Buck.
285
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,101
That's right. We're gonna play
and we're gonna romp.
286
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,503
We'll bathe you.
We'll even feed you, Buck.
287
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:14,674
-Everything's gonna be okay.
-Oh, Buck boy. So good.
288
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:28,087
Kelly, the Best of Oprah: Volume Two
just came.
289
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,289
Here we go.
290
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,659
"The Cross and the double-cross.
291
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:35,895
Catholic men
who dress like women."
292
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:40,266
Hey, Ma, think Dad'll let me use
the car tonight?
293
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,835
Well, depends on what mood he's in.
294
00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:47,740
I wish the world were a fly
and I was a giant rolled-up newspaper.
295
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,676
Here we go.
296
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:53,479
A fat woman clip-clopped
into the shoe store today...
297
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,416
...and said, "I need something
I'd be comfortable in."
298
00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:59,085
I said, "Try Wyoming."
299
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:07,527
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry chain saws....
300
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,497
Oh, like your family's any better.
23718
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