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1
00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:17,988
Oh, quick, Bud.
2
00:01:22,293 --> 00:01:24,095
Change the channel.
It's sweeps month...
3
00:01:24,296 --> 00:01:27,099
...so Christian Slater's
gonna show America his butt.
4
00:01:28,634 --> 00:01:32,004
Kelly, now, this may come
as a surprise to you...
5
00:01:32,205 --> 00:01:34,374
...then again, the fact
that people can ride...
6
00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:37,845
...upright in the backseat of a car
came as a surprise to you.
7
00:01:38,145 --> 00:01:41,482
There are far more important things
than Christian Slater's butt.
8
00:01:41,650 --> 00:01:45,020
Now, for instance, the president's
giving an important press conference.
9
00:01:45,221 --> 00:01:47,123
We interrupt the press conference...
10
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:50,893
...for live coverage
of Christian Slater's butt.
11
00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:01,307
Move over, kids.
It's time for our favorite talk show.
12
00:02:01,507 --> 00:02:04,877
But, Mom, we were watching
the president's press conference.
13
00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:09,282
That jogging's
been doing him some good.
14
00:02:12,387 --> 00:02:13,922
Live, from Chicago...
15
00:02:14,122 --> 00:02:18,727
...it's Jerry Springer,
the masculine feminist.
16
00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:22,765
Good evening, women,
I'm Jerry Springer...
17
00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:26,270
...and I am proud to be living
in your world.
18
00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:32,978
Before we start, I wanna take a moment
to apologize on behalf of all men...
19
00:02:33,179 --> 00:02:37,083
...for the disgusting way
Burt has mistreated Loni.
20
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,722
Good move, Burt.
21
00:02:41,923 --> 00:02:45,793
And Cop and 1/2? Good movie too.
22
00:02:46,629 --> 00:02:49,498
I mean, when are men
gonna realize...
23
00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:54,303
...that women are this world's
most precious natural resource?
24
00:02:54,504 --> 00:02:57,574
Except, of course, for our sponsor.
25
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:02,014
I Can't Believe It's A Tampon.
26
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:10,356
It feels so natural you're gonna wish
it was always that time of the month.
27
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:17,198
A masculine feminist.
What does that mean?
28
00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:20,168
It means he likes show tunes.
29
00:03:21,938 --> 00:03:24,206
Would that they all did.
30
00:03:24,408 --> 00:03:26,743
Jerry has the hottest
talk show around.
31
00:03:27,077 --> 00:03:29,146
Is he gonna show his butt?
32
00:03:29,747 --> 00:03:31,816
Jerry is politically correct.
33
00:03:32,016 --> 00:03:35,453
He's keeping his butt
covered until all women are free.
34
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:38,424
I wish Al would.
35
00:03:38,892 --> 00:03:41,861
At least until all women
were warned.
36
00:03:42,162 --> 00:03:44,397
Well, Jerry's not just a talker.
He's a doer.
37
00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:47,935
Last week he found out there was no
bowling alley in this part of town...
38
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,939
...with a ladies-only night.
So Jerry did something about it.
39
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,274
We had a bloat-in.
40
00:03:55,645 --> 00:03:58,114
A hundred of us waited
until we were really grumpy...
41
00:03:58,315 --> 00:04:02,219
...then stormed the bowling alley and
chained ourselves to the ball returns.
42
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:05,724
Which, in hindsight,
turned out to be an error.
43
00:04:06,524 --> 00:04:09,694
At least those little blower things
were kind of enjoyable.
44
00:04:11,698 --> 00:04:14,267
But what's important
is that Jerry helped women...
45
00:04:14,468 --> 00:04:16,903
...finally get a bowling night,
which is tonight.
46
00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:20,108
-Some guys lost their bowling night.
-Yeah, I wonder who.
47
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,716
Hi, honey. I'm home.
48
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:38,864
Why am I early
on what used to be my bowling night?
49
00:04:39,064 --> 00:04:41,033
Good question.
Thank you for asking.
50
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:44,670
Well, as I entered the bowling alley
ready for an exciting night...
51
00:04:44,871 --> 00:04:46,873
...of bonding, brewskies
and barfing...
52
00:04:47,074 --> 00:04:52,546
...what did I see?
Women. Bowling. Overhand.
53
00:04:53,748 --> 00:04:56,418
Naturally, I went up
to one of these donut depositories...
54
00:04:56,585 --> 00:04:58,054
...and said in my nicest voice:
55
00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:01,757
"Wedge it out the door, beefalo,
it's my night to bowl."
56
00:05:02,259 --> 00:05:04,628
Instead of coming back at me verbally,
like I did...
57
00:05:04,796 --> 00:05:07,198
...they took their doughy fists
and they pounded on me...
58
00:05:07,398 --> 00:05:10,501
...until a mutual agreement
was reached that I leave.
59
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,972
Anyway, when I regained
consciousness in a burning trash can...
60
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:18,545
...I realized, A, Thursday nights
is now ladies' night...
61
00:05:18,746 --> 00:05:23,517
...and B, you don't wanna know
how a bum puts out a trash-can fire.
62
00:05:26,555 --> 00:05:28,790
Congratulations
to those fine women in Chicago...
63
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:31,227
...for what they achieved
at Jim's Bowl-A-Rama.
64
00:05:31,694 --> 00:05:34,831
That's the pantywaist that cost me
my bowling night.
65
00:05:35,032 --> 00:05:38,902
Now we've gotta get the bowling alley
to enlarge the women's restroom.
66
00:05:39,104 --> 00:05:41,306
And what about mothers
who wanna nurse?
67
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:44,142
I propose a lactation lounge.
68
00:05:45,811 --> 00:05:48,747
I propose a dairy farmer.
69
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,019
Quiet, Klingon.
70
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,622
Let's take some phone calls.
71
00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:58,993
Well, believe you me,
this outrage shall not go unavenged.
72
00:05:59,194 --> 00:06:02,397
-Al, don't you think women deserve--
-No!
73
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,034
Just don't embarrass us, honey.
74
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:08,037
-Is the caller there?
-Al Bundy here.
75
00:06:08,239 --> 00:06:09,607
Too late.
76
00:06:09,807 --> 00:06:12,943
Now, listen here, Jerry.
Bowling is a man's sport.
77
00:06:13,145 --> 00:06:16,348
If God had wanted women to bowl,
he would've put breasts on backs...
78
00:06:16,549 --> 00:06:19,685
...so we would have something to watch
while waiting our turn.
79
00:06:24,091 --> 00:06:27,561
And where are you
calling from, sir, 1952?
80
00:06:30,566 --> 00:06:33,969
I wish. Ike was in the White House,
women were in the kitchen...
81
00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:36,605
...and you were in the closet.
82
00:06:38,369 --> 00:06:40,504
And you forgot to mention
where you were, sir.
83
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:46,039
I suspect in a zoo someplace, throwing
your feces at a passing tourist.
84
00:06:47,264 --> 00:06:49,733
Once again, I wish.
85
00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:51,898
Enough of that call.
Let's take another one.
86
00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,563
You and your thundering herds...
87
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,263
...may think you won,
but let me tell you something.
88
00:06:56,425 --> 00:06:58,861
Thursday nights have always been
men's bowling nights.
89
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:01,814
And mark my words.
Next Thursday men will be bowling!
90
00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:02,157
And mark my words.
Next Thursday men will be bowling!
91
00:07:09,652 --> 00:07:11,020
All right, nice spare, Jim.
92
00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:13,220
If you shift
your weight to your rear foot--
93
00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:16,154
This is ridiculous.
I worked hard all week.
94
00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:18,451
I'm not gonna sit home
on bowling night.
95
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,650
Well, we can't go back
to the bowling alley.
96
00:07:20,847 --> 00:07:22,549
Those women are too strong.
97
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,749
We can't go home. We're too weak.
98
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:27,613
Hey, I got it.
We can go to a movie.
99
00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:30,246
-Hey, yeah.
-Yeah.
100
00:07:30,775 --> 00:07:32,344
Hey, Peg.
101
00:07:32,541 --> 00:07:34,977
Peg, do we have a paper?
102
00:07:36,405 --> 00:07:38,040
Thank you.
103
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:40,840
All right, let's see what's playing.
104
00:07:43,869 --> 00:07:46,138
Hey!
105
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,102
Here's a gripping drama
about a newlywed couple...
106
00:07:51,265 --> 00:07:53,367
...waiting for their furniture to arrive.
107
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:56,933
It's called, Where, Oh,
Where is the Mayflower Man?
108
00:07:57,595 --> 00:08:00,798
-Any boobs?
-William Hurt and Glenn Close.
109
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,195
-Oh, jeez.
-Sounds like it blows.
110
00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:05,962
We could go to the newsstand
and buy a magazine.
111
00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:09,594
-Yeah, but where could we hide it?
-How about in your wife's hair?
112
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:11,791
How about in your wife's chin?
113
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,455
-Come on, now!
-Come on.
114
00:08:16,652 --> 00:08:18,988
Come on, they're making us turn
against each other.
115
00:08:19,151 --> 00:08:22,921
-There must be something we can do.
-I know where we can go.
116
00:08:23,116 --> 00:08:26,986
To the last great bastion
for the American red-blooded male.
117
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:30,150
Where there is no such thing
as ladies' night.
118
00:08:30,579 --> 00:08:34,749
At the nudie bar!
119
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,442
Where a buck's enough
to see their stuff.
120
00:08:42,638 --> 00:08:44,907
At the nudie bar!
121
00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:48,408
Where the breasts may be fake,
but, man, do they shake.
122
00:08:48,602 --> 00:08:50,637
At the nudie bar!
123
00:08:50,835 --> 00:08:53,838
Where you swear like a sailor
and wish you could nail her.
124
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,835
At the nudie bar!
125
00:08:56,032 --> 00:08:59,435
Where the cops are at the door
and there's a Kennedy on the floor.
126
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:03,000
At the nudie bar!
127
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:10,894
Nudie bar.
128
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,791
Hey, this is great.
It's better than bowling.
129
00:09:17,987 --> 00:09:20,824
You can work up a sweat
without working up a sweat.
130
00:09:21,619 --> 00:09:24,589
You know, I haven't been in here
since they jazzed up the place.
131
00:09:24,784 --> 00:09:26,786
And they even put up a curtain.
132
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,152
And the mirrors are gone.
133
00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:33,149
Well, some things don't change.
134
00:09:33,346 --> 00:09:36,716
Gentlemen, present dollars.
135
00:09:36,912 --> 00:09:41,416
Hooters! Hooters! Hooters! Hoot--!
136
00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:47,108
Tonight...
137
00:09:47,273 --> 00:09:50,309
...I would like to dedicate
this poem...
138
00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:52,306
...to my ovaries.
139
00:09:58,068 --> 00:10:01,337
I don't think
we're in Kansas anymore.
140
00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:04,568
My eggs, my eggs
141
00:10:04,964 --> 00:10:08,902
He begs, he begs
To be the father of my eggs
142
00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:15,561
My eggs, my eggs
143
00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:19,128
Oh, swim to meet my eggs
144
00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:41,518
Boy, they really hit us
where it hurts this time.
145
00:10:42,079 --> 00:10:45,482
Turning the nudie bar
into a coffee house.
146
00:10:45,843 --> 00:10:47,879
What're we gonna do
with our Saturday nights?
147
00:10:48,076 --> 00:10:51,713
We could play bonbon toss
with your wife.
148
00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:55,476
Yeah, we can play peanut toss
with the elephant you call your wife.
149
00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:01,704
Come on.
150
00:11:02,901 --> 00:11:05,771
Doesn't the Constitution
guarantee us the right to life...
151
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:08,336
...nudity and the pursuit
of happiness?
152
00:11:09,431 --> 00:11:12,134
Are you sure that's "nudity"?
153
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:15,500
Life, nudity, yeah.
154
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:16,963
This is the last straw.
155
00:11:17,161 --> 00:11:21,465
I say it's time we stood up
to the onslaught of this "womaninity."
156
00:11:21,658 --> 00:11:22,893
They've taken everything.
157
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:26,628
I say it's time that we take
something away from them.
158
00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:31,089
Live, from Chicago...
159
00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:34,524
...it's Jerry Springer,
the masculine fe--
160
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,746
Tonight's broadcast
of The Masculine Feminist...
161
00:11:53,942 --> 00:11:57,145
...has been commandeered
by the secret society "No Ma'am."
162
00:11:57,340 --> 00:12:01,945
National Organization of Men
Against Amazonian Masterhood.
163
00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:13,939
I would reveal my true identity,
but for political reasons, I cannot.
164
00:12:14,132 --> 00:12:15,667
But do not take me lightly.
165
00:12:15,864 --> 00:12:20,402
I once scored four touchdowns
in a single game for Polk High.
166
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:24,632
Hey, Daddy once scored
four touchdowns too.
167
00:12:26,826 --> 00:12:30,029
That is Daddy, you mud flap.
168
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:36,095
And that's Mr. D'Arcy,
and Mr. Anderson and Bob Rooney.
169
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:40,792
Boy, if Marcie finds out about this
she'll be down there in a second.
170
00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:43,388
Gee, I wonder if she's watching.
171
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,651
Well, I guess so.
172
00:12:48,848 --> 00:12:51,217
Every day for the past 30 years...
173
00:12:51,413 --> 00:12:55,217
...you high-heeled pit bulls
have blamed us for everything.
174
00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:57,313
From not being able
to get into Harvard...
175
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,647
...to not being able
to get into stretch pants.
176
00:13:02,774 --> 00:13:04,609
We've been called "pigs."
177
00:13:04,807 --> 00:13:06,475
We've been called "scum."
178
00:13:06,672 --> 00:13:09,809
We've even been called
"plywood-bottom."
179
00:13:13,069 --> 00:13:15,404
Or at least I have.
180
00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:18,838
Well, we're sick and tired of this.
Now, we have a list of demands.
181
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:23,470
If these demands are not met we are
going to take this masculine feminist...
182
00:13:23,663 --> 00:13:26,900
...and perform television's
first "sexorcism."
183
00:13:34,558 --> 00:13:36,860
Tell them what that is, Jefferson.
184
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:39,626
-My name is Hank.
-Oh, right.
185
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:44,391
-Sorry, Hank.
-That's okay, Al.
186
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,762
Anyway...
187
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,365
...if our demands go unheeded...
188
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:56,202
...not only will we force Jerry
to watch hours of pro wrestling...
189
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,973
...but we'll force him
to watch it in these.
190
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,476
A stinky, yellowed undershirt...
191
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,446
...and a pair of boxers which read:
192
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:10,083
"It's all me."
193
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:17,290
"It's all me" boxers,
courtesy of Mr. Bob Rooney.
194
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,258
I mean, Dirk Rooney.
195
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,227
Back to you, Al-- Clyde.
196
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,729
Hell.
197
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,430
Demand one:
198
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,299
You gals want a ladies' night?
199
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:30,235
Try having it in the kitchen,
cooking for a man.
200
00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:36,074
Demand two:
201
00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:38,877
Don't put on a dress and ask us
if it makes you look fat.
202
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,812
We hate that.
203
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,882
Besides, it's not the dress
that makes you look fat.
204
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:46,952
It's the fat that makes you look fat.
205
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,757
Demand three:
206
00:14:52,957 --> 00:14:56,060
Don't ask us to talk
or cuddle after sex.
207
00:14:56,260 --> 00:15:01,098
Or before sex, or during sex.
You're lucky we take our pants off.
208
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,368
You take your pants off?
209
00:15:05,136 --> 00:15:07,505
How do you get them
over your shoes?
210
00:15:08,072 --> 00:15:09,507
Demand four:
211
00:15:09,707 --> 00:15:12,777
Don't ask us to say I love you
over the phone.
212
00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:14,712
It's hard enough to say to someone...
213
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:17,581
...we're paying a dollar
a minute to talk to.
214
00:15:19,349 --> 00:15:22,385
Demand five:
Stop talking about Fabio.
215
00:15:22,585 --> 00:15:26,289
Yeah. With his long, flowing
blond hair and 48-inch chest...
216
00:15:26,489 --> 00:15:30,293
...we're the ones
who should be talking about....
217
00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:34,197
Anyway, those are our five demands.
218
00:15:34,397 --> 00:15:35,799
We had five more written down...
219
00:15:35,999 --> 00:15:39,169
...but somebody couldn't
blow his nose without a hanky.
220
00:15:40,103 --> 00:15:41,771
So, ladies, you've got 30 minutes--
221
00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:45,275
Which, of course,
is two hours in woman's time.
222
00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:49,746
--to address these demands,
or we'll--
223
00:15:49,945 --> 00:15:51,280
We'll--
224
00:15:55,951 --> 00:15:58,387
-Ready.
-Break!
225
00:15:59,888 --> 00:16:02,491
Or we'll go for burgers.
226
00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:06,128
It didn't make any sense, did it?
Wait a minute.
227
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,402
What about Berkowitz?
228
00:16:13,602 --> 00:16:16,105
We could change our name to that.
229
00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:19,808
-No.
-Can't spell it.
230
00:16:21,642 --> 00:16:24,345
Let's see, what about--?
What about Borden?
231
00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:26,514
Can't spell that either.
232
00:16:27,115 --> 00:16:30,718
-What can you spell?
-Cat.
233
00:16:32,253 --> 00:16:34,589
So let's go to the K's.
234
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:40,027
Now, I don't want everyone to think...
235
00:16:40,228 --> 00:16:42,430
...that we at No Ma'am
are totally anti-woman...
236
00:16:42,597 --> 00:16:46,067
...so we found a typical working
woman. I'd like to introduce her to you.
237
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:50,805
Coming live to you from the Club
Squish, Miss Bubbles Double Dee.
238
00:17:01,459 --> 00:17:03,394
Ms. Dee.
239
00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:05,723
You're a working woman.
240
00:17:05,918 --> 00:17:07,954
What do you think of Roe v. Wade?
241
00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:11,648
Gee, I don't know
that much about boxing.
242
00:17:11,842 --> 00:17:14,945
But I'd like to go out to dinner
with whoever wins.
243
00:17:18,995 --> 00:17:21,431
Let's take some questions
from our audience, shall we?
244
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,126
All right.
245
00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:26,987
Would you jump up and down?
246
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,083
Yes.
247
00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:35,706
All right, next question.
248
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:39,332
Can you do that again?
249
00:17:40,324 --> 00:17:42,393
I'll try.
250
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:51,949
All right, all right, all right.
Now there, a typical working woman.
251
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:55,073
Al Bundy, you sloth.
252
00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:59,336
You toad. You two-toed sloth.
253
00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:02,027
This is no man.
254
00:18:02,219 --> 00:18:05,489
This is Al "Oink Oink" Bundy.
255
00:18:05,846 --> 00:18:10,283
Why the mask, Al? Take it off.
Let the world see your snout.
256
00:18:10,472 --> 00:18:12,741
You call yourself a--
257
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:15,867
Stop it.
258
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,230
You call yourself a man,
but you're a coward.
259
00:18:18,424 --> 00:18:21,728
-You're all cowards.
-Yeah!
260
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,581
-Honey, did you shut off the phone?
-Yes.
261
00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:28,878
-Stop the mail?
-Yup.
262
00:18:29,072 --> 00:18:31,307
-Did you cancel the newspaper?
-Yes.
263
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:35,237
But won't the D'Arcy's be mad?
I mean, it's their paper.
264
00:18:36,193 --> 00:18:38,996
Honey, the D'Arcy's
have bigger problems.
265
00:18:39,187 --> 00:18:41,623
All right, Bud and Kelly Kat.
266
00:18:44,178 --> 00:18:45,680
Let's go.
267
00:18:46,474 --> 00:18:47,943
The Kat family.
268
00:18:48,139 --> 00:18:51,575
Good choice, you blond airhead.
269
00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:55,098
Mom, do you know
where we're gonna live?
270
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:59,196
No. But wherever it is
at least we'll be together...
271
00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:01,420
...unless I can find someplace great.
272
00:19:03,578 --> 00:19:08,149
Now, about your demand
to not talk during sex?
273
00:19:08,336 --> 00:19:10,305
The only reason we ask you to...
274
00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:13,435
...is so that we know
when you're finished.
275
00:19:14,525 --> 00:19:17,195
Oh, yeah? Well--
276
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:22,422
-You're a chicken.
-Yeah!
277
00:19:25,805 --> 00:19:28,941
And if it's true we spend
so little time in the kitchen...
278
00:19:29,132 --> 00:19:32,536
...then how come you spend
so much time in the bathroom?
279
00:19:33,658 --> 00:19:35,360
Because--
280
00:19:35,554 --> 00:19:37,289
Because...
281
00:19:37,984 --> 00:19:41,120
-...you're a chicken!
-Yeah!
282
00:19:44,939 --> 00:19:47,508
So in conclusion...
283
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:49,535
...we don't wanna take over
everything...
284
00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:53,567
...we just want equality,
fairness, to be appreciated.
285
00:19:53,756 --> 00:19:58,327
After all, you need us
more than we need you.
286
00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:06,910
You're in No Ma'am's land now, baby.
287
00:20:11,725 --> 00:20:14,461
So let's set the record straight.
288
00:20:14,652 --> 00:20:19,690
You need us jar-opening,
oil-changing, spider-squishing...
289
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:23,514
...furniture-rearranging men
a lot more than we need you.
290
00:20:23,703 --> 00:20:25,471
Yeah!
291
00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:28,866
All right, you have a point.
292
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,164
There are some occasions
when women do need men.
293
00:20:32,355 --> 00:20:34,257
Yes!
294
00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:36,220
Well, like tonight for instance.
295
00:20:36,414 --> 00:20:39,016
I need some men
so I'm going to call them.
296
00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:40,578
Oh, gentlemen.
297
00:20:46,397 --> 00:20:48,833
You again, Bundy?
298
00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:52,626
Where were you when I got
mugged out in front of my store?
299
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:57,355
Where were you last week when I
got mugged outside of your store?
300
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,099
Hi, honey. I just wandered in.
301
00:21:07,293 --> 00:21:09,395
-What's happening?
-Get in the car.
302
00:21:09,589 --> 00:21:12,893
-But Al and them made me--
-Get in the car.
303
00:21:16,344 --> 00:21:20,481
Hey, aren't you Jerry Springer,
the masculine feminist?
304
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:22,838
-Yes, I am.
-Tie him back up.
305
00:21:22,999 --> 00:21:24,534
What the--?
306
00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:30,126
I hate that guy.
307
00:21:30,319 --> 00:21:32,354
This may be the end
of No Ma'am for now...
308
00:21:32,548 --> 00:21:35,184
...but it's not the last
you'll hear of it or me.
309
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:38,680
Peg, kids, come and get me. Please.
310
00:21:47,755 --> 00:21:49,457
Who's that guy?
311
00:21:49,652 --> 00:21:51,821
Oh, he's doing community service.
312
00:21:58,437 --> 00:22:01,273
My eggs, my eggs
313
00:22:01,664 --> 00:22:03,800
Above my legs
24543
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