Original subtitles

When I met him, Mark Twain was already famous, recognized and loved by people

all over the world.

I had read Life on the Mississippi, The Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's

Court, The Prince and the Pauper, and for the third time, Tom Sawyer.

Mark Twain was soon to become the most important person in my life, but I

realize at the time how much the friendship of an ordinary little girl

mean to him.

We should never have come to London for our holiday.

This weather is terrible for your bone cavity, Dorothy.

Mother, I feel fine.

I think I'll sit right here while I arrange for my food.

How she is!

My good man!

May I be of service, Mr. Twain? I hope so.

I am baffled by this thing.

What's it supposed to be?

An ashtray, sir.

Is that right?

Well, that's a mathematical impossibility.

A fire hazard to boot.

I see the problem.

I shall have something else pent up right away, sir. Good.

I make it a lifelong practice never to smoke when I'm asleep and never to

refrain when awake.

Secret of my longevity.

Dorothy?

Do you know who that was?

Oh, have you been out?

96 seconds.

If this is as good a hotel as it purports to be, they'll be up here

three minutes.

One minute.

42 seconds.

Albert, this is what I call a four -star hotel.

Here you are, Mr. Twain, sir. Hope this will suffice.

It will.

And I thought you might like the morning paper, sir.

You're the front page news.

Oh, yeah?

What's the matter?

Don't you people have any wars or crimes or scandals over here?

No, sir. I mean, yes, sir.

Here you are.

Thank you, sir.

If it isn't too much trouble, I'd rather shake the hand of Mark Twain.

Oh.

What's your name?

Monaghan, sir.

Patrick. Clemens.

Sam. Glad to meet you. Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Clemens, sir. Thank you.

Would you like to get some more work done?

Tell me about the steamship captain.

That's great material for the biography.

Look at that headline.

Mark Twain arrives in England, ascot cuff stolen.

7 .30, Mom. Oh, my goodness, I hadn't realized.

I could go to bed, but play begins in half an hour.

Mother, Mr. Twain just got here.

Can I stay just a little longer? No, no, no, go on now.

Bedtime is 8 o 'clock, and I must get to the theater on time.

Good night, dear.

What would you feel like?

You know, Albert, my wife, Libby, used to sing this song to the children when

they were young.

Such good times we had.

Sometimes we laughed so hard it'd hurt and we couldn't catch our breath.

Can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

Are you excited about tomorrow?

Well, I'm just afraid that Oxford is going to realize the enormity of their

mistake and call the whole thing off.

I give you Dr.

Samuel Van Horn Clemens, Mark Wayne.

Most admirable and charming, sir. You shake the sides of the whole world with

your merriment.

Thank you.

Well, I expect most of you read the headline in the newspaper yesterday.

Mark Twain arrives, ascot cup stolen.

No doubt many a person was misled by...

Those sentences joined together in that unkind way.

I can tell you here and now, I never saw that cup.

Somebody else snatched it before I had a chance to.

A few years ago, it pleased me beyond measure when Missouri University made me

doctor of laws because I know absolutely nothing about laws except how to evade

them and not get caught.

Now today at Oxford I'm being made a doctor of letters.

All pure profit.

Because what I don't know about letters would make me a multimillionaire if I

could turn it into cash.

You look tired.

No one should have to give so many speeches in one day.

I'm getting old, Albert.

The last time Libby and I were in England, in a room very much like this

we got the cable that our dearest child

Susie died suddenly at home.

She was 24.

Still amazes me.

It's one of the mysteries of our natures.

What is?

That a man all unprepared could receive a thunder stroke like that and

live.

She was such a...

Fleet and serious little girl.

How I wish I paid more attention to Susie, Clara, and Jean when they were

But we're always too busy for our children.

We lavish gifts upon them, praise them in their absence, but the most precious

gift are time and attention, which means so much to them.

We give grudgingly and then throw it away on others that don't really

matter.

Then one day, there comes a time when you want your child's company

more than anything in the world.

But it's too late.

You get some sleep now.

Things will seem brighter when we set sail for home in the morning.

Albert, I'm going to give you two more years. Two years to finish your research

for my biography.

Why only two?

You'll have to be a hundred.

No.

I came in with Haley's Comet in 1835.

It's coming again in a couple of years, and I expect to go out with it.

It'd be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't.

I've hit upon the best way for you to compile your notes for my biography.

It came to me during the night.

It is the pen that makes things so difficult and time -consuming.

I plan to hire a secretary who can do this new shorthand writing, and she can

write it down later, and you can edit it. Good idea.

Yeah. I'm going to go below and do some work.

Are you coming? Nah, you go on. I like the air.

All right. But if it turns cold...

You come out of the wind.

You're getting to be an old woman, Albert.

Don't you worry.

I'm too much of an egotist to die before you finish my biography.

Excuse me, young lady, but I don't seem to remember your name.

But you never met me before, Mr. Twain.

Well, that's true now that you point it out. That's certainly true.

Now, that must be one of the reasons why I've forgotten your name.

Oh, but I remember it now.

It's Mary.

No, it isn't. It's Dorothy.

Well, a few years ago, I wouldn't have made that mistake.

You know, when I was young, I could remember anything.

Whether it happened or not.

But old age is creeping up on me.

But I remember now.

It is Dorothy McGillicuddy.

No, it isn't. It's Dorothy Quick.

Oh, I'm ashamed of myself.

Dorothy Quick.

Of course.

How old are you, dear?

Eleven. Eleven and a month.

What do you read?

Tom Sawyer.

It's very good.

Oh, have you read any of my others?

Almost every one.

Oh, eleven in a month, then. Oh, extremely intelligent.

Yeah, it seems to me that we are perfectly matched for this occasion.

I like young ladies dressed in white. I hope you will always wear white.

Whenever we stroll the depths together.

I will.

Mr. Twain?

Mr. Twain?

Oh, Mr.

Twain, I've been looking for you everywhere.

Four members of the Weehawken Ladies Reading Club are here.

Girls, look who's here.

Would you autograph my copy of Huckleberry Finn?

Ah, I'd be delighted.

We all have questions we're just dying to ask you.

What is your name, madam?

What a musical name, Arabella.

I must give this some serious thought.

The perfect description for Arabella.

Let me hold on a little while.

Wonderful.

Girls!

Look who I've found.

He's going to autograph my book.

Mr. Twain, come back.

Where could he have gone?

Mr. Twain.

Come on.

Yeah. This way.

Come back, Mr. Twain. Come back.

Straight ahead. Hurry, ladies.

Mr. Twain. Mr. Twain.

We lost him.

I haven't done this kind of thing in years.

I've never done this kind of thing.

Won't we get in trouble?

Nah, I don't think so.

I'm famous, I'm old, and I'm a writer. They expect these eccentricities.

Now, I believe you were about to tell me why Tom Sawyer's your favorite book.

I like it because Tom and Huck were such good friends.

I've never had a friend like that. Not one?

No.

And the adventures I had, and the trouble I got into.

Fishing and rafting and exploring caves and playing pirates.

Sneaking into graveyards in the middle of the night.

Say, have you read this one?

Not yet. I was saving it.

Oh, well, read it. It's my favorite.

Don't you think the lady will want it back?

Don't you worry, dear. I'll make it up to her on the inscription.

Mother will be furious with me. Oh, you're traveling with your parents?

Just my mother.

My father died when I was a child.

I'm sorry.

You know, I lost my own father when I was just about your age.

Come on, here we go.

Say,

maybe tomorrow we could have played some of those horse billiards.

Shuffleboard? Yeah. I would love to.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Mr. Twain!

Dorothy told me that she had met you, but what an unexpected... I mean, what a

delightful surprise.

I beg your pardon, but I came to ask Dorothy if she could join me for dinner

the captain's table tonight.

But it's completely escaped my memory that children are in bed at 8 o 'clock.

I can get dressed again.

Please, Mother.

And I haven't even introduced myself.

Mother, this is Mr.

Clements. Mr. Clemens, my mother.

Mrs. Quick.

Such a pleasure.

I am sorry.

Can I, Mother?

Just this once?

No, Dorothy.

I'm sorry, Mr. Clemens, but it's just too late for Dorothy.

Does this leave you without a dinner companion? It's all my fault. It's been

many years since my own daughters were in pigtails.

I'll see you tomorrow, Dorothy. We'll go for our walk on the promenade deck.

All right.

Thank you for asking all the same.

Remember to wear white so I'll be sure to recognize you. I will.

Good night, Mrs. Quick.

I apologize for the intrusion.

Maybe another time.

Has the lady asked for a book back yet?

Not yet, but I'm getting plenty of exercise out running the Weehawken Lady

Sprint Society.

Tell me about yourself.

How do you get on at school?

Oh, I don't go to school.

I have chronic bronchitis, so Mother keeps me at home with a private tutor.

Hey, you know I had this bronchitis thing myself for years.

You've got bronchitis, too?

Yes, and if you must be sick, I suggest you try something else.

Here, now, have a peppermint. Now, they're good for the bronchitis.

Thank you.

You know, shame by you having a tutor.

You're being deprived of one of life's greatest pleasures.

Coming to school?

Mm -mm.

Playing hooky.

Well, not bad for your first time.

I'm sure it's just beginner's luck.

Yeah.

You always been so lucky?

Yesterday I met the famous writer Mark Twain.

That was pretty lucky.

Yeah. I heard of him, but lately he's more famous for being famous than for

writing anything.

I think he's the best writer in the world.

Why, thank you, dear heart.

You know, I could live for two weeks on a compliment like that.

You are a very perceptive child.

Thank you.

Now, if you're as lucky as you claim, I should make you my manager.

You're teasing me.

No, I'm not.

Miss Quick, would you do me the honor of becoming my business manager, at least

until the ship reaches New York?

Really? Absolutely.

What do I have to do?

Well, you're my manager.

Whatever comes up, you manage it.

Mrs. Quick, may we see your daughter?

Well, of course.

Please, come in.

Miss Dorothy?

We came to ask your permission for Mark Twain to speak at the ship's concert for

the benefit of the sailors' fund.

My permission? We asked him directly, miss, but he said we had to ask you.

That's right. He said I never do anything unless my business manager says

Whatever Dorothy says goes.

Oh.

Well, in that case, I hereby give my

permission.

thanks to the kind permission of Miss Dorothy Quick, to present our most

man of letters.

Now I give you the man who warned us, when in doubt, tell the truth.

Most welcome.

Ladies, gentlemen, and Miss Dorothy.

I did say, when in doubt, tell the truth.

But I invented that maxim for the benefit of others.

When in doubt myself, I always try to use a little more sagacity.

Carlisle said, a liar cannot live.

But that just goes to show he didn't know how to tell them.

Have you finished the book?

Yes. It was wonderful.

I'm afraid Tom Sawyer's not my favorite anymore.

Mr. Twain!

Mr. Twain!

Hurry, let's dance.

I don't know how to dance. Well, there's nothing to it. You just move your feet,

make the conversation good, so nobody will notice the rest.

All right.

I'll try.

Dorothy? It's nine o 'clock.

I have to go.

Nonsense. Old people are hard of hearing.

But she knows I'm not.

Yes, but you didn't want to hurt my feelings, dear child.

What if I never see him again?

What if he's gone?

Dorothy, Mr.

Clements is a busy and important man.

That's it, yes.

Once we're ashore, he'll be swept up in his own affairs.

And he won't have time to remember a little girl he met on the boat.

Hello! Oh, hello!

How are you?

Hello! Mr. Twain!

Oh,

Mr. Twain!

Arabella!

Arabella. Well, here is your book, all inscribed.

I hope you've had a very pleasant voyage.

To the ubiquitous Arabella, best wishes, Mark Twain. Oh, that

dear man.

Ladies, he says I'm ubiquitous.

You'll only cause yourself heartache if you expect things that aren't realistic.

Hold on there, boys. I get paid for the worst now. I can't afford to give them

away for free. What about the Ascot Cubs?

Well, the Cubs are boarding the ship. I was hoping the boys could help me slip

it by the customs house.

There he is.

Are you my Dorothy?

Yes, Mr. Clemens, I am your Dorothy.

Oh, I didn't recognize you.

Are you sure you're not some other Dorothy?

Mine always wears white.

Look. Oh,

it is you.

You weren't going to run away without saying goodbye, were you?

Never.

Good morning, Mrs. Quick.

Good morning, Mr. Clemens. We had reports on the wireless about your

with a little girl.

Oh, yes, gentlemen.

I'd like you to meet my good friend and manager, Miss Dorothy Quick.

You boys can remember how to behave around a well -bred young lady who might

oblige you with a quote or two.

All right, Miss Quick. Where are you from?

Miss Quick, how did you meet her?

Uh, Miss Quick.

I hope you'll let Dorothy come to visit us soon.

All right.

For you to make a ring.

Oh, Mr. Clemens, this is so kind of you. Oh, nonsense. Completely selfish of me.

When I left England, I was 72.

Today, I'm 65. At this rate, I'll be a boy again by summer.

Hey, now, Mrs. Twain. Yes?

Why don't you let Dorothy go to school with other children? Yeah.

She's much too serious a child.

Mrs. Twain, how about a photograph of the two of you together?

Oh.

All right with you, Dorothy?

We're happy to oblige.

Excuse me, Miss Hardwick? Yes?

I can't seem to find Huckleberry Finn in the card catalogue.

Under Mark Twain or Samuel Clemens? I should say not.

It has been banned from the Children's Library.

Banned?

But why?

That is none of your concern. We have decided that it was not an appropriate

book for young readers.

But it's a wonderful book.

It's not fair.

Children are incapable of deciding such issues for themselves.

It is our duty to protect them. Protect them from what?

I've already read it, and there's nothing bad in it. When you are older,

check it out at the regular library.

But it's not fair.

Shh, be quiet.

What do you think of the manuscript, Rogers?

That's right. Top of your form.

You know that, Albert?

Pretty high praise from the president of Standard Oil.

Of course, he could be prejudiced. Being my financial advisor and oldest friend.

What do you think the critics will say?

Well, frankly, I think the professional critics are getting much too arrogant.

Yes, odd phenomenon.

Now the older and wiser and more serious I get.

The more the people love me, the critics attack me.

Well, they only want you to be funny.

Nothing more.

Is there anything else you need before I go to bed, Father?

No, Dr. Jane. Jane, you're looking much better.

Yes, the country does wonders for my health. I was thinking of going back for

few weeks before it gets too cold.

Unless you... You'd rather I stay here with you, Father.

No, I...

As you go back to the country, your doctors are always arguing for it.

Besides, you're happier there.

Fine, I'll take the early train in the morning, then. Good night, Mr. Rogers.

Good night, my dear.

Albert. Good night, Jean.

Good night, Father.

Oh, yes, good night, Jean.

Gentlemen, I'm going to call it a night as well.

But it's barely past ten o 'clock, Rogers.

What about our game?

Clemens. I'm 69 years old. Don't be ridiculous. I've known you myself longer

than that.

It's an embarrassment for a grown man to try and appear so young.

Good night, Clemens.

Don't stop your game on my account.

Another one, Albert?

Oh, I'm afraid not. I've got to get home.

I promised my wife I'd take her to church.

Oh, yes, yes.

Gene will be here tonight.

Yes, Gene.

He busts over me to the point of making us both miserable.

She loves you very much.

Yes, I know.

She loves too much and laughs too little.

Dorothy, dear, will you come and make me a visit?

Do you think your mother could spare you for a week?

I thought this was a home, but that was only self -deception.

For what is a home without a child in it?

This is a dreary place.

Hushed and brooding and lifeless place.

Aren't you sorry for me, you little rat?

Right back and say you'll come. P .S. If you like, you may bring some dolls to

play with.

Oh, you toddy li... old rascal.

I thought you'd never come.

We've been holding tea for half an hour.

I'm sorry we're late. Mr.

Twain, it's such a pleasure to see you again.

Well, come on in. Come on in.

Vinnie, come and get the cases.

Thank you.

Well, how was the trip from Brooklyn, Mrs. Twain?

Frightful. The roads were so congested. It took us nearly three hours.

Oh, but that's terrible.

I was going to ask you to stay to tea, but you'd never make it back before dark

if I did. Oh, that's all right. I'd be delighted to stay to tea. No, no, no. I

wouldn't dream of being so selfish. Now, take five minutes to freshen up and

then back on the road again before it's too late.

I'm sorry to rush off.

No, I understand completely. We'll have a proper tea when you come to pick up

Dorothy on Sunday.

Goodbye, Mother.

You won't be homesick, dear.

You all have time.

Bring your dolls?

No. I have them, of course, but I never play with them.

Good. Neither do I.

I always wanted to know what Mark Twain's house looked like. Well, now,

only a townhouse. They'll build me a big country house to be ready next spring.

Come on, now. We'll take a tour of this one.

This is the very best room of all.

Billiard.

Can I play with you?

Can you play billiards?

Yes, I can.

It's a very good game to play when you're alone a lot.

Well, let's play then.

I'm not very good.

Well, in that case, what should we play for?

Try this beside.

Minnie! Minnie!

Bring the tea here in the billiard room.

Yes, Mr. Clemens. All right, dear girl.

Show us what you can do.

Look how well Dorothy holds the cue.

Well, hit another one, dear heart.

Hit another one.

Shall we play another?

I'm not sure I can afford it.

Well, To the victor goes the seagull.

Then I'm sorry. I won, Mr. Clemens.

You can't go around all week calling me Mr.

Clemens. I'd be obliged to call you Miss Quick.

And I feel like talking to one of those shorthand stenographers.

I know. It's a silly name.

When I become a writer someday, I'll choose a wonderful pen name like you

Yeah, see if dinner's on the table. You want to be a writer?

Yes, I do.

But I don't know if I have any talent.

I'll tell you what.

I'll give you an assignment. If it turns out well, we'll carry on from there.

What do I have to do?

Well, I'll tell you half a story.

Tomorrow morning, while I'm working, you write down the other half.

Are you ready?

Ready. A young man is driving his horse and buggy through the woods on the way

to meet his fiancée.

When he is held up by a tramp who steals his troubles.

Now, the young man throws a lap robe over himself to cover his loss. But just

then, it's Beyoncé's turn.

Now, where was I?

In February of 1871, in Libya, London.

Yes, I first saw her...

in the form of an ivory miniature in her brother Charlie's stateroom on the

steamer at Quaker City when she was 22.

The following December, I met Charlie at the St. Nicholas Hotel.

Now, I don't know if these details are right.

I don't care a rap. They'll do just as well as the fact.

And he introduced me to this sweet, lovely young girl, his

sister, Olivia.

Whereupon, The entire family, I know I seem to be overloading the sentence and

apologize, went to a reading by Mr. Charles Dickens and I accompanied him.

Now that was 40 years ago.

And from that day to this, his sister has never been out of my mind

nor my heart.

Read that back to me, Miss Harvey, from the St. Nicholas Hotel.

St. Nicholas Hotel.

And he introduced me to a sweet and lovely young girl, his sister Olivia,

whereupon the entire family went to a reading by Charles Dickens. Wait a

What happened to an L. Jude just as well as the facts?

And where did overloading the sentence go?

I'm sorry.

Did you want me to take all that down?

Well, what do you think I'm paying for?

I thought you were talking to me.

Talking to you?

Talking to you?

Excuse me, Miss Harvey.

Would you leave the room for a moment so I could swear?

Miss Harvey, you may resume.

I'll go in.

There has to be at least one room in the house a man can swear in.

That's dangerous to repress a motion like that.

Now on, I'd appreciate it if you wrote down every word.

Leave it up to you. I sound like a judge.

Your humor, Miss Harvey, man's greatest blessing.

That's true, Father.

Jane.

I didn't know you were coming today.

Did you tell your doctor?

No, I didn't.

Your letter sounded like you were feeling low, so I took the afternoon

I didn't realize you had a house guest.

House guest?

Yes, there's a little girl sitting just outside your door.

Oh, Dorothy.

Good heavens.

She'll have read every blasted word I said.

If her mother finds out, that'll be the end of our holiday.

And rightly so.

Dorothy!

Dorothy, come in here, will you?

Yes? You didn't happen to hear what I was saying when you were out in the hole

now, did you?

No. Good.

That was a private conversation between me and the Almighty.

This is my daughter, Jean. Jean, this is Miss Dorothy Quick.

How do you do, Miss Clarence?

Happy to meet you, dear.

Well, Father, I'm a bit tired. I think I'll spend a quiet day. I'll see you for

dinner at eight.

Dorothy, I expect you'll have your dinner in the kitchen at six.

Oh, no, we all have our dinner at six now.

In the dining room?

Of course.

Well, I guess things have changed since I've been a child.

I guess I should go now, too.

I don't think your daughter likes me very much.

Oh, nonsense.

She seemed angry.

Not at you. At me.

Why?

Well, when she was your age, I was too busy to be much of a father to her.

Now it's too late.

When you love someone, it's never too late.

Quickly, he slipped it out, unseen by his betrothed. And while pretending to

untangle the ring, he gave the horse a good jab in the flank, causing it to run

away with him, carriage, and all.

Splendid!

He raced home, got another pair of trousers, and returned fully clothed to

arms of his beloved.

Dorothy! Dorothy!

There's no doubt about it.

You are an author.

You really think so?

Certainly. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll make you a charter member of the author's league.

Author's league?

Who else is in it? No one.

It'll just be the two of us. Two authors working together. How will it be easy?

You'll have to work hard.

But I'll teach you what I know.

And you'll teach me, too.

But I can't teach you anything.

Of course you can.

All kinds of things.

It's been 60 years since I was a little girl.

Mr. Rogers is here to see you. He's in the library.

Rogers? Ah, well.

Try to eat something, Dorothy. The League will reconvene after lunch.

Rogers!

Well, what brings you here in the middle of a business day?

The Knickerbocker Trust Company is going belly up.

Well, my luck seems to have finally run out altogether.

Does this mean bankruptcy?

Bankruptcy would kill me. My age, I barely survived at 60.

It's not quite as bad as that.

If you're careful, you'll have enough money to finish the house in the

Oh, good.

Yes, good. I won't do it again.

Spend a summer in the country with me.

She needs a little Huck Finn in her life.

I'll take care of the details.

Good. Will you excuse me, please? I left Dorothy in the dining room.

Please, you must excuse him. He's not been himself lately.

Don't worry, my dear.

I've known that scoundrel for 30 years.

And he gets more ornery with every passing day.

Your father led me to believe you were feeling better.

Yes, I stay in the country the doctor says I can expect to live a long and

life.

You must take care of yourself.

Your father would be lost without you.

Sometimes I wonder.

Susie was his favorite when she was alive.

He dotes on Clara even though she's almost never here, off on a singing

And now he prefers the company of a little girl he's only known for a few

And he turned to me.

Jean, your father is an old man who isn't going to change.

If you want to share in his life, you're the one who's going to have to bend.

But how?

You're the daughter of Mark Twain.

I'm sure you'll find a way.

Then it just ends too abruptly and returns fully clothed to the arms of his

beloved. It needs some kind of punch right there at the end.

Look at all this mail. Birthday gifts and greetings.

Ah, well, the author's league is now in recess.

Can I help?

I'm counting on it.

This one just says, SLC.

Bless your old sweet soul for having lived.

I think I can find it.

SLC. I like that. Can I call you SLC?

Well, certainly. I like SLC.

You know, mail is like plum pudding.

You may crack your tooth on a nutshell now and then, but you never know when

come across a plum.

Oh.

Come on, Dorothy.

Crack your tooth on a nutshell?

It's a magazine article by Wilford Jenkins in the Gazette.

Read it.

Although Twain is essentially merely a humorist, only one step removed from the

other newspaper jokers, he has found an inch of popularity with the broadest

public, though certainly not the most refined.

Mrs. Manchester, why would she send you this?

You see that? It takes your enemy and your friend working together to hurt you

to the heart. The one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

Do you think friends should keep bad news from one another?

I think best friends can tell each other everything.

Oh.

You want to get something to tell me?

to the library near my house in Brooklyn.

They banned Huckleberry Finn from the children's section.

Oh, banned in the borough of Brooklyn.

Well, it's happened before. It'll probably happen again.

You always used to say it. It boosted the sales of books if you couldn't

them for free.

Oh, that's right. I did say that.

It's not fair.

Can't we do something?

Are you Miss Sarah Hardwick? Yes.

Yes, I am. I have discovered that Huckleberry Finn has recently been

from your children's room.

Miss Hardwick, is this correct?

Yes, Mr. Twain, but it wasn't solely my decision. I wrote Huck Finn for

adults, exclusively for adults, and it violently distresses me when I

discover that boys and girls...

have ever been allowed access to it. It does?

The mind that is soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.

Even now, I harbor an unappeasable bitterness against the unfaithful

guardians of my young life who not only permitted but compelled me to read

an unexpurgated Bible clear through before I was 15 years old.

And as you know, no one can do that and ever draw a clean, sweet breath again

this side of the grave. Don't you agree, Miss Hardwick? No.

I mean, yes. I could say a word or two in defense of Huck's character, I

suppose, but truthfully, he is no better than Solomon or David or the rest of

that sacred brotherhood. And if there is an unexpurgated Bible in the children's

department, then I want to thank you heartily.

for removing Huck from that questionable companionship.

And good day to you, Miss Hardwick.

Come along, Dorothy.

How did I do?

Give her a conniption fit.

Well, that's good.

You know, you're like a tonic to me, you little rat.

My wife, Libby, kept me young because she was always young at heart.

But now you've come along and taken over the job of keeping me young, and I must

say, dear heart, you've done a first -rate job of it.

Have you talked to your mother about sending you to school?

She says she'll see.

But that always means no.

Well, keep trying.

You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

No matter what happens, you must never, never lose heart.

Thank you so much for everything.

Mr. Clements, thank you for your generous hospitality.

You're welcome. This is for you, Mrs. Quick.

Oh, how very charming.

Goodbye, you little rat.

I'm afraid I can only let you go on one condition.

What's that?

That you'd come and pay me a visit in December for at least a week.

Mother, can I please? Oh, that's awfully generous of you.

I feel nearly so bad with a whole week to look forward to.

Even if it is months away.

Excuse me, Mrs. Quick.

I couldn't help overhearing my father's plan about a visit in December.

Oh, if so, dear, the interest he takes in Dorothy.

I just wanted to be sure you knew.

Since my mother died, my father doesn't celebrate Christmas. In fact, even the

mention of it would upset him terribly.

Would you please tell Dorothy?

It would be such a shame if anything ruined their friendship.

There you are.

Hi. Goodbye, Mr. Clemens. Thank you.

Mother? Mm -hmm?

I'm going to be 12 soon.

I've already missed six years of going to school with other children.

I don't want to miss any more.

Please, Mother?

I've been thinking about it all week.

And I must admit, you may be right this time.

What?

I found a young lady's academy nearby that might be suitable.

Mother, thank you.

Now let me read Mr. Twain's letter.

Oh, looks like a letter of reference.

This is to certify that I have been in the service of the enclosed Dorothy

for five days and have found her honest, willing, always good, sweet,

thoughtful, and winning.

I recommend her to any worthy free person who's tired of his freedom and

to exchange it for something better.

Signed, S .L. Clements.

Dear SLC, you were right.

I pressed the issue of school with Mother, and she relented.

I begin school Monday morning.

I don't suppose I'll meet anyone like Tom or Huck at an all -girls school.

But any friend will be a joy to me.

We get two weeks Christmas vacation, so I will still be able to come for my

visit.

Look, Dorothy.

It's finished.

Thank you, Mother.

I know I shouldn't have, but I thought these buttons and this collar would make

you stand out a bit more against all those school uniforms.

Mother?

I've been trying to decide what to get SLC for Christmas.

Dorothy, Mr. Twain hasn't celebrated Christmas at all since his wife died.

But why?

Because she died at Christmastime.

Any mention of it is very upsetting to him.

Jean asked me to tell you not to talk about it or to bring any gifts.

I can't believe it.

How can anyone not celebrate Christmas?

Doesn't sound like SLC at all.

Well, famous people are often eccentric.

If you want to befriend them, you must honor their eccentricities.

We'll celebrate our own Christmas when you come home.

All right?

Yes, Mother.

to see that little silver pen there.

Of course.

A gift for your father, perhaps?

No, a very special friend.

I see.

I'm afraid it's a bit expensive.

That's all right. I've got plenty of money.

Of course, madam.

Those attachments are for smokers.

Cigar trimming, pipe cleaning.

Does the person smoke?

Only when he's awake.

I'll take it. Can I have it engraved? Of course.

What would you like on it?

Dear Ethel C., even though it has only been a month since I left number 21

Avenue, I miss you already.

To Miss Dorothy Quick.

Only a month since I saw you. Why, you little humbug.

It's been ten times that long.

Even Minnie, who never gets anything right, admits it's been more than two

months.

What is the matter with your veracity, Mill?

You know, Albert, all my life I've never been able

to reproduce another person's face in my mind.

Not clearly.

I never thought it was anything more than just some curious mental infirmity.

Until my wife, Levy, died.

Then I realized it was a calamity.

Ah, well, sometimes I think if I could just see a dog

I knew in the old days.

put my arms around his neck and tell him everything, it would ease my heart.

Hey, you know, I feel dizzy.

I think I better sit back down.

Go ahead.

Let me get you a glass of water.

I feel better now.

You know,

I... I think... I seem to be losing my memory.

I can't remember which ball is mine or what game we're playing, and I...

I got this blast of pain in my...

You never mind about that. We'll play later.

Just get some rest now.

I'll tell Minnie to bring us some tea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, it's Al Levy.

I want to see her.

Angina pectoris.

What's that?

It's a tightening of the muscles around the heart.

We're not exactly sure what causes it.

Does it kill a man?

Sometimes. Well, it's a good kind of thing that carries him off in an

or the other kind that keeps him lingering and suffering for another 20

Father, don't talk like that.

I can't give you a schedule, Sam, but I can tell you that your blood pressure is

too high.

And the smoking will... Never!

Yes, well, try to avoid strain and nervous stimulation. I'll be back in the

morning. I'll try to keep him in line.

I'll show you out, Doctor.

You want to try and get some sleep?

No, I can't sleep at night.

Broad daylight's completely hopeless.

I was hoping Quintard was going to tell me I'd drop dead any minute.

I can't have that.

You promised to go out with Haley's Comet.

I was just checking to see if you were listening, Albert.

Absolutely divine, Jean. Please, Helen, let me take your things. Thank you so

much. Hello, you little rat.

Get in here and get warm by the fire.

Are you absolutely sure Dorothy understands about Christmas? Oh, yes.

I'm so grateful to you for telling me. I explained it all to her and she

accepted it beautifully.

Come on in, ladies. Have your tea.

I love me.

It should have poured. No, no. There you are. There you are.

Mother,

where's my suitcase?

It's already been taken upstairs.

It's not very far from Brooklyn Heights, actually.

Merry Christmas.

Aren't you going to open your Christmas present?

Is this for me?

I've had it for ages and I couldn't wait any longer.

I know it isn't really Christmas for a few more days, but you can open it now

you want to.

It's all right with me.

Certainly I'll open it now.

Preeminently. Proper.

For me to open it whenever you'd like me to.

Fact.

If I didn't open it now, my curiosity would probably kill me.

It's a pocket knife.

It certainly is.

And a real beauty.

This blade's for, uh, snipping the ends off your cigars.

This blade's for, um, cleaning your pipe out and, um, opening letters.

Oh, it's an absolute marvel. And a whole SLC, engraved on a

handle. Oh, thank you, dear heart.

I shall treasure it always.

Gene, where's Dorothy's Christmas present?

Oh, that's all right.

I remember.

I'll be right back.

No relief.

Merry Christmas, dear heart.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Treasure it always.

Time to turn out the light and go to sleep.

All right.

Dorothy.

Dorothy, I... I know how much my father means to you.

But he's been quite ill. He had a heart attack last month.

What?

Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh, we didn't want to worry you, and we managed to

get through at that time. But we must all be more careful.

There must be something we can do to help him get better.

Dorothy, I've tried my whole life to make my father happy, but I've never

as successful as you were this afternoon.

Now go to sleep.

Do you need anything?

No.

Well, I'll turn in. Good night.

Jean.

What kind of a dreary old house is this for a child to spend the Christmas

season in?

Why don't we put up some, what you know, decorations?

Are you certain you want to do that?

Well, I'm thinking.

We've been robbing ourselves of some of the joy in life.

I'll fix the place up, Jean.

You know, the kind of thing it needs.

All right, I'll see what I can find in the morning.

She must be a very special child.

Jean.

You are all special children.

I'm only now.

beginning to understand how much I cheated you and myself by not paying

attention to all of you when you were young.

It wasn't easy being the child of the most famous man in the world.

But I never realized until now how difficult it must have been to be the

himself.

thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Dearest heart, when you went away, you took the sun and the moon with you and

left silence and solitude behind.

I'm saving all my cigar bands for you, not with thin.

We're finally in the big house in the country.

It is splendid.

You must come for at least a month this summer.

We will have adventures that will be the envy of Tom and Huck.

Love, your SLC.

Hello,

hello, welcome, welcome, all right, welcome.

Oh, come along, dear heart.

I nearly exploded trying to keep this secret for the past two weeks.

Twice I had to tear up letters I'd written because I'd given the surprise

and I wanted to see your face when you found out.

Your house is magnificent.

Aren't you going to give me a tour?

Later, later.

Come on, first the surprise.

All right, shut your eyes now.

All right,

sit right down there.

All

right,

open your eyes.

Yeah, Tammany Adam down cellar. She's a jealous and secret mother.

Yeah. Took me two whole days to find her.

You're adorable.

Yes, well, generally, surprises fall flat.

I declare this one to be a huge success.

Dog, dog, dog.

Okay. She's, she's...

Sweeping? Sweeping something.

It's the sweeping the porch, sweeping the welcome mat.

Welcome mat.

Welcome. No, mat. Mat.

Father,

you're a ham.

Quiet, quiet. You're interrupting the creative process.

Dog mat, dog mat. I don't know. So what's the drunk supposed to mean?

Hiccup. Dogmatic.

Dogmatic. Well done, player. Well done.

Oh, well, I think that's enough of this evening. Oh, no. Now it's your turn.

Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.

You have to. It's only fair.

Besides, you couldn't possibly look any sillier than we did.

Oh, Father, would you please explain to Dorothy that I don't do that? No, no,

no, no. You're my daughter. are dispensed with dignity.

And

she

called me a hen.

Are these your woods, too?

Yep.

Are they fairy woods?

Oh, goodness, no.

Obviously, you are city bread. Anyone can tell at a glance that these are

elephant woods.

Really? Are there elephants in them? No, sadly, not anymore.

Legend has it that there once were, but they caught ambition and all ran off and

joined circuses.

So beautiful here.

You must be very happy.

Happiness is a strange thing.

Grief can take care of itself.

But to get the full value out of joy, you must have somebody to share it with.

Well,

I hope you didn't have your heart set on fish for dinner.

The author's league

is now in session.

Miss Quick.

The membership is anxious to know the subject of your next public work.

Well, I'm considering a book about the war between the states.

Oh, no, dear. Write about something you know from your own experience.

Maybe I'll write a book about you someday.

Oh, I'd like to be around to hear what you have to say.

But you'll have to read it out loud in a clear, strong voice so I can hear it

over the blamed harp music.

You know, if I'd been helping the Almighty when he created mankind, I'd

him begin at the other end.

So human beings would start at old age.

I mean, think of looking forward to 18 instead of 80.

You know,

just how you feel.

I'm looking forward to 18 myself.

Oh, yeah.

Dirty little rat.

Dearest Dorothy, how dare you get sick? You must get yourself well at once.

We can't have any Christmas at all if you don't.

I tried to get some elephants for your Christmas present, but they charge $10

,000 apiece. I can get one elephant or 1 ,600 monkeys for the same money if you

prefer. William and I went into the woods the other day and found the

tree. Wait till you see it, you little rat.

Love, SLC.

There's not going to be much of a Christmas feast for you with just me.

I was surprised.

I've invited a dozen children from the village to come Christmas caroling

tomorrow afternoon.

I made a tea party for them.

Hot cider. I made cookies, cakes.

That's wonderful.

I wish Dorothy would be here to enjoy that.

Now, Popper, her mother said she'll be fine as soon as the weather warms up a

bit. I know.

I know.

Here.

I think you ought to open this now.

What is it? Well, it's from Dorothy with specific instructions that you are to

open it whenever you need it a Christmas present.

Come on.

Oh,

listen.

Oh, gosh.

Now let's see what she has to say here.

Dear SLC, I would rather have the books you sent me than

all the elephants and monkeys in the world, but I managed to find these of

miniature variety for you.

I feel much better.

Love, your little rat, Dorothy.

When it comes my time to leave this earth, I'd be perfectly willing to get

that train.

Except for one thing.

What's that?

I just hate something awful.

To leave you alone in this big house.

So would I.

I'm sorry I haven't given you more of a family.

Now, Jean.

Oh, I know how badly you wanted grandchildren and how much I

other ways.

No. It's all right.

I've always known I wasn't your favorite.

I was always poor little Jean. Not to me.

You have the best, kindest heart of all of us.

You know what I was thinking, sitting across from you at the dinner table

tonight?

What? I was thinking how exactly like your mother you were, and how proud

be of the woman you've become.

Thank you, Papa.

I, uh...

I don't want you to catch my cold.

Sleep well, dear.

Dr. Clements, sir.

What is it?

It's Miss Jean.

She's had a seizure.

She's... She's dead.

It's impossible.

She's well.

Claude's already called for the doctor.

But it's beyond hope.

She's already gone.

Okay.

Dearest Papa, I want to give the world to you because you

have given so much to the world.

Merry Christmas.

It's all right, Mr. Kemmons. I'll go out and tell them what happened. No, you'll

do no such thing. Tell Cook to put the cider on the fire and get out the cakes

that Gene planned to serve.

We're not going to disappoint those children.

Yes, sir.

Dorothy?

What is it?

Come here.

Mother?

It's Mr. Clement's daughter.

What? Is she all right?

She's dead, Dorothy.

I'm so sorry.

But she can't be.

It was fine.

We were playing charades.

Sometimes these things do happen.

Does he still see all right?

Was that him on the phone?

No, that was the neighbor who saw it in the newspaper.

I have to go to Stormfield right away.

No, Dorothy.

It's impossible.

It's the middle of winter.

You'd just be in the way during all the funeral arrangements.

It's best to leave well enough alone.

Write him a note if you'd like.

But I have to see him.

I'm sure he'll have many old friends around him now.

But he needs me.

Is there

anything

you need?

No.

I'll finish writing out the story of Jean's death.

I won't write anymore.

I feel like Huck did at the end of the book when he said, there ain't nothing

more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it.

Doctor, I'm going to go to Bermuda for a while until I get my strength back.

No, no, I told you.

I'm not up to reading any condolences yet. I know this is a letter from

Oh.

You want me to put it away with the others?

No, no, give it to me.

I'll hold on to it.

Well, I'll be just down the hall in the library doing a bit of work.

My dearest SLC, I know how your heart must be breaking, because I can feel

breaking for you.

You must just remember that no matter how much you miss her,

Jean is happy with her mother and Susie now.

And I feel certain that she will meet my father there, and that he will take

good care of her in your absence, just as you have taken such good care of me

his.

Please remember, you must never, never lose heart.

Dear Dorothy, sorry not to have written you sooner. I'm afraid I've not been

feeling so well myself.

I've been losing enough sleep to supply a worn -out army. But if one is going to

feel rotten, Bermuda is a fine place to do it in.

Sometimes I just sit and think, and sometimes I just sit.

You ought to get your mother to bring you some time.

I'm afraid I might not be home for Easter.

The doctors seem to think I won't be well enough.

Love, your SLC.

Mother, you have to take me to Bermuda. What? I must go to Bermuda. Right away.

Tonight or tomorrow morning.

Please, Mother.

Dorothy, you're being unreasonable. You're sick.

Mother, listen.

This is the most important thing I have ever asked of anyone.

Even if it is unreasonable.

Or unwise. Or just plain foolish.

I must go to Bermuda.

Dorothy, this is nonsense. No, it isn't.

I know I'm just a child and I don't have the right to vote or speak or decide

anything in the world that's important.

But just this once, you must listen to me.

Is it much further?

No, about another mile.

Come on. Can't we find it faster?

We could, but I don't think Omar here could do it.

Quickly as I could.

Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Hello, Mrs. Quick.

Mr. Cummins, Dorothy had to see you.

As quickly as I could.

Oh, how wonderful, dear heart.

How wonderful. You see, I told you, you could accomplish anything once you set

your mind to it.

What should we do, Fred?

I want you to show me everything.

Yeah, well, you and your mama get settled in a hotel there.

I got a bungalow a mile or so down the road.

And I'll come back and meet you.

I'll tell you, too.

In a day or two?

Yeah.

Then we'll see what adventures we can muster.

All right, driver.

Dorothy, you expected too much.

You've been very ill.

I know.

But when he saw me, he didn't even look like the same as selfie.

He didn't call me a little rat or anything.

Maybe I really did stay away too long.

Excuse me, young lady, but I don't seem to remember your name.

It's Dorothy.

Oh, yes.

Dorothy McGillicuddy.

Dorothy Quick.

Don't mean my Dorothy.

Yes. You see there?

When I was young, I could remember anything whether it happened or not.

But now that I am older, Mrs. Quick, the more I remember only the latter.

Are you feeling better?

Yes. You're like a tonic.

You little rat.

I couldn't stay away from here, knowing you were so close by.

Thank you, Mr. Quick.

Bring Dorothy and your siblings.

Glad we came.

Would you like some dinner?

No, no, no. Have you?

See how grown up you're getting?

Now my supper time is earlier than yours.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is our privilege tonight...

to have Mr. Mark Wayne as a guest in our dining room.

We are now going to play something in his honor.

Look at those young people.

They don't know a lick about dancing to it.

Why don't you show them how we do it in Missouri?

Well, if Spirit is willing, the feet are 73.

Don't worry. Just move your feet and make the conversation good.

All right. Let's do it then.

No, I'm counting on you to keep the author's league alive.

It's your job in life.

You must see that it's well done.

I promise I'll do the very best I can.

Oh, look.

There's a Bermudian.

Let's see if she salutes.

That's for me.

Captain Fraser does not forget me.

No one could ever forget you.

Did I ever tell you the night that I was born, lightning crashed in the clear

night sky, and the heavens were rent with a mighty fiery comet?

No. Is that another one of your stories? Certainly not, you little rat. It's as

true as you are.

Oh, look.

Look up there.

You see that...

Fuzzy ball of light with a little white tail behind it?

Yes, I see it.

That is Haley's Comet.

I was born under it.

Is that why you've always been so lucky?

Yes, you superstitious child.

But my real luck is walking right beside me.

We'll have good times, but we... Of course we will. Why, first thing

morning... I'm going to teach you a new card game they named after me.

And I hope you play cards half as well as you shoot billiards. Twice as well.

You know, I feel better than I have in a long, long time.

Good night, you dear little rat.

Good night, SLC.

See you in the morning.

I didn't know it then, but that was to be the last glimpse I would ever have of

him.

He had another heart attack that night.

He did manage to get back to his own home.

It is not often that the whole world mourns for one man.

At the time, I thought that learning to write was one of the most important

things he had taught me.

But now I realize he was really teaching me how to live and how to move my feet

and keep the conversation good.

Good night, FLC.

See you in the morning.

Thank you.