Original subtitles

And...

Surrender.

More.

Let's follow Jiro.

More. More.

Okay.

Think this moment of the snapping back.

Let's meet here.

And then stay at that level as you're moving through the arms, trying to

So almost like each finger could be having its own rotation.

I want you to describe a small circle inside the pelvis.

And it can already echo into the spine.

So small circle.

And then it starts to amplify until it goes around the

knees. And then from that place, I want the, I think the, just to get you out of

that rough spot that the knee will break.

Yeah, so.

It's growing. Break. And then from here, I want you to push.

Push. Beautiful. Yeah, I like it when the head's going out.

Yeah.

Push away.

Good. And then from here.

Okay,

yeah.

Let's push away and then like you slice.

Thank you.

Please probably take a break. Okay, one more.

Are you okay for one more? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can.

Okay.

Yeah. All right, that's a break, guys.

Yeah, just more risk, yeah. Less of the decoration.

Thank you.

Mom? Mom, can you hear me?

Hey.

How are you?

You doing all right?

Sorry I missed your calls.

I was in rehearsal.

Everything all right?

Have things gotten worse?

Okay. Well, I'll try to sort something out here and... Charlotte.

It might take a bit more time, but... Charlotte, I think it best if you come

down right away.

Well, I'll stay at Gran's?

Um, yes.

Okay.

I'll call your sister.

They'll give you a lift.

I should get back in.

We have to move on.

Let's do the falling.

The one we did before?

Yeah.

I think you were closer last time.

Come on, we're going to go see Granny.

You're here.

Hi Mum.

Hi Dad. Hi.

Leaving rehearsal.

It's all right, then.

Joe's going to keep working with them.

Over the weekend?

Mm -hmm. I don't have a choice.

OK.

Hey, Marie.

It's Rohan.

We're back.

We've got Billy here, too.

Got Billy? Say hello.

Let's get your jacket off.

Come on, Bill.

Let's get some of these horses. Go on.

I think he's just been cooped up for a bit too long. Let's have a play over

here. Nice to have life in the room.

Ladies at Sessions Horses.

Get your toys out.

Why don't you just take him outside and let him run around a bit? Why, he's all

right over here. We're just getting all his toys out.

We saw horses, didn't we, Billy, last weekend?

You should see the latest one. It's like this.

All right.

Hideous.

head mask thing that he found in the party shop, you know, the one in Clapham

Junction.

Well, you'll be graced with that later.

I look forward to it.

Billy,

you going to be all right there, yeah?

You don't think she's in any pain, do you?

No, darling.

She's on so much morphine, she's probably dancing across the hill.

That's good.

It's just such a big change from last week.

We're all here, Mum.

I know she can work.

We're all here.

This is the new Charlotte.

Sorry.

What's that?

Hi, Dad.

Fine.

We just got here.

Sure, hang on.

He just wants to say hi.

Dad, you're on speaker.

Hey, guys.

Everyone okay?

Dad, can you go someplace more quiet?

Oh, yes. Sorry, sorry.

One second.

Is that better?

Hi, Dad.

How's it going, Alex?

Yeah, yeah, good. Good, thanks.

How's Mari doing?

She's sleeping.

Oh, good, good. That's good.

Well,

I'm over real soon for Charlie's show, so when you see Mari... She's right

Alex. Oh, right.

You're with her now?

Well, where else would we be?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Sure, sure.

Well,

you hang in there, Mari. Dad, would you stop chanting?

I don't think it's going to work out quite as conveniently as you were

Alex.

Dad. Hi, it's... You're off speaker.

Yeah.

Hold on.

I'm just going to go with the maid.

There's just still so much to do.

I left Joe in charge, but they can't move on without me there. Yeah.

It's just a lot to take in at the moment.

Not just that.

Nothing.

Okay. You know, baby, look after your mom.

Will do.

I'm just going to get your mum comfortable before the shift changeover.

Oh, yes, I'm just doing a bit of tidying. You should get home and have

rest.

Do you mind if I... Yes, of course.

You've had a busy day, Mari.

I bet you're looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet tonight.

Was that that grandfather you offered to go, did he?

I'll tell you what, it's absolutely freezing out there.

Right now.

Coming as quick as I can.

God, shit. Sorry.

I'm sorry, Charlotte. I was just putting Billy down and I didn't think anybody

was in here.

Can you shut the door?

Sorry. I'm really sorry, Charlotte.

It's fine.

Honestly though, Margot, it's something that you should really consider.

I mean, we've put it out almost completely, haven't we?

Yeah. We're trying to let Billy go anywhere near this stuff, but it's

difficult.

Just start reading those labels.

You'd be amazed.

It's absolutely everywhere.

Take baked beans.

Baked beans are actual death in a can.

What's wrong with baked beans?

Well, you're basically eating a tin of sugar.

You of all people should be more conscious of nutrition.

My dad's fine.

You might look healthy on the outside, but, for instance, you might have fat

organs.

And why do so many dancers seem to smoke?

Shouldn't you try to stop?

Do you mind?

Thank you.

You want a glass?

No, not for me.

Could you see if Granny's got any frozen peas?

It feels weird eating her food without her.

Are you going back tomorrow?

I'm not sure.

I suppose they can't really rehearse anything without you there.

Not really.

You know, I'm stepping in and out of these two roles, trying to hold

all of this together.

And, you know, I've never... I've never put myself out there like this before.

Will there be other opportunities to witness?

Not really.

You know, everyone knows me just as a dancer.

And I want... I need to make a mark with Violetta.

And I know that I can. I mean, I just need to...

I need the time, and I need to work.

Well, sadly, we don't really have a choice with the timing of this, do we?

Surely family has to come first.

We still need to book.

I thought you were coming with Mom and Dad.

Well, that was the plan, but... Well, we're just finding it really hard to get

babysitter.

Really? They have so much on, and there seem to be endless events with the sixth

formers, and...

Oh, I don't know. It just doesn't really seem fair to leave Billy so often.

Right.

Thank you.

You good?

Not really.

Lauren just had a... another miscarriage.

What? Should have passed 12 weeks when your dad comes over.

We were going to tell you all at your premiere.

She wanted both your parents in the same room.

Why are you telling me?

Honey or jam, and there might be marmalade in the fridge.

Thanks. This is for me?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't do butter.

Don't you?

No, I've never liked it.

Oh.

It's okay.

I'll scrape it off.

Sorry.

It's fine, Mom.

Did Gran do that?

Probably.

You ever go there?

No, not for ages.

Whenever I did go, I found it rather comforting.

How permanent.

Are you nearly ready?

Yeah.

Lois and I are going to cook tonight. What do you want?

Oh, how lovely.

Um, I'm not fussy.

Lauren does a lovely casseroli stew -y type thing.

I want to see how I get the gun.

Okay.

What should I do?

Which one?

It's a walking stick.

No.

You do the hokey -cokey and you turn

around. That's what it's all...

Would it be nice to sit at the table?

We could do.

Well, I think we should.

Charlotte, please don't sit there.

We've never sat there before.

Is it all right? It's delicious.

It's really good, Lott.

I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Yeah, thanks.

You know I found a pack of cigarettes hidden upstairs in the bathroom?

Granny smokes.

Only in the bathroom, it would seem.

I'm not quite sure what that's about.

I would love to share a cigarette with her right now.

You know she's using a bag of wool as an ashtray?

That's bold.

I have spoken to her about that.

I think she was knitting, like, leg or arm warmer things.

Who was?

Who are you?

Really? Mm -hmm.

For what?

So sweet.

I thought maybe they were for her wrist when she paints.

It's been a long time since she's painted, Charlotte.

Yeah.

Of course.

When was the last time you came down here?

A while ago.

I've been talking to her on the phone, though.

She's been a really tricky couple months.

When you brought her to London for her birthday, wasn't that the last time we

were all together?

We came down last weekend and a few weeks ago when she started to get ill.

What?

Granny understands. She knows how busy you've been.

Is there not enough chilli in it, Mum?

It's lovely.

I just don't have any appetite.

I'm going to pop this into one of Mum's many Tupperwares and head for bed.

I leave you lot to it.

Don't worry, I'll do that.

I need... I need a blanket.

Yeah, I was just wondering if you knew where Gran kept them.

Yeah, they're in here.

One or two?

One.

What have you got in here?

No that's not really nice.

What are these?

At the funeral.

Why are there photos?

Cousin Duncan, probably.

He always had a camera around his neck.

So many flowers.

Well, there were so many people there.

He was much loved.

Good and kind and...

Funny and brilliant.

You would have loved him.

He would have been so proud of you.

Do you know what I remember about that day?

The noise.

so much noise there were people talking and drinking tea

and I escaped and I came back here and I

went upstairs and I locked myself into the bathroom and I climbed into an empty

bath and I just lay there and

I missed him

you do silly things.

Will you turn Mum's electric blanket on?

a seaside village just north of Torquay. I spoke with James Lewis, a local who

describes his first -hand experiences that became the source of his dark

joins us from Sherbourne Hall.

Mari, your work certainly stands out, full of colour and energy.

Tell us more on your process and how you begin when you know to stop.

I just throw everything at it. I'm throwing everything at it, layer upon

and then I scrape it back.

So I'm looking for... I'm looking for something to reveal itself, you know,

happy accident.

Something of interest.

Something will reveal itself eventually.

And for the benefit of people and...

Marie, who's this by your side?

Charlotte. How old are you then?

Five and three quarters.

Do you like to paint like your grandmother?

You're nodding yes.

But Marie, tell us more on what inspires you.

forms these unusual pieces ideas they just pop up i mean it could be a thing

it could be maybe a color or even a mood i don't choose they just

sort of appear in front of me and then they stick around until i've got it down

to be honest i'm never really sure why why certain things come my way when they

do by the time i'm done with the painting to me it does all usually make

Why don't you share with me tonight?

Maybe.

I couldn't sleep last night.

Why?

I don't know.

I started going through some of Gran's stuff.

I found this old recording of an interview of her and I at some

art fair.

I love coming down here.

I found

all my

letters.

She's literally kept every single one from when I lived with Dad and the time

New York.

I'm embarrassed.

I never asked her about her own work or told her how good she was.

with my silly teenage drama.

Thank God we did miss out on the teenage Charlotte years.

What's she talking about?

I knew everything that was going on in her life.

Every exam.

Every recital.

Even what boyfriend she had.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I'm having sex.

Good.

Anything serious?

No, he's a dancer in the company.

He's maybe 20, 25.

Can we do some of you a stretch?

I think we all need to move a bit.

Sure.

Lauren?

I'm good.

We'll make you feel better. No, I'm fine.

All right, then start.

Let's start by making some heat.

Wash your hands.

Wash yourself.

Make up your skin.

Get everywhere.

I knew.

All the way.

Good.

Follow me.

Reach higher and like you're peeling away a page.

Look down to the floor.

Look up to the sky.

And get wider to come up.

And let's start to bring everything in.

Squeeze yourself.

Bring everything more narrow, closer to the inside.

Good. Start to tremble. Squeeze so much you tremble.

Hold it in.

Hold on.

Don't let go.

More.

There we go.

Good. And let's run.

Downhill.

Move your pelvis more.

Good. Start to go a bit slow motion.

Good.

A bit slower.

And twist more.

Start to look behind you.

Look at me.

Get softer.

Go more.

Good.

You can do it.

Good. And other side.

Good. Get softer.

Twist more.

And let's come back.

Face this way.

Look down at your feet.

Good. The weight of your head start to take you down.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Give in to the weight.

Oh, that's how I get to my back.

Oh, God.

Give in to the weight more.

Oh, God.

Billy's been harassing some kind of llama, you see.

I don't know if it's a llama or an alpaca.

Oh, Billy.

I think I'm being sent here with it.

Why don't... Yes, I've got it.

Don't let... Don't let it spit on him.

I promised mum I'd finish it. What is that?

Does that want a grand skirt?

Yeah. The NHS needs more cushions apparently.

You know how your grandmother loved to recycle.

This is for here?

Yes.

You're rushing.

You just have to be a bit more patient with it.

How do you have the patience for this kind of stuff?

Just find it calming.

Come on, really?

Well, I hardly see you together.

Carry on doing what you're doing and don't pose.

Is Granny in it?

Yes. Could you frame her out?

She's still here.

I don't want to remember her like this. So if you're going to take it, could you

just at least crop her out?

It doesn't look like her.

Forget it at the moment.

Aren't you going to finish it?

No, you can if you want.

Well, no, because Mum asked you to.

You're better at it anyway.

You've only been at it for about five minutes.

No.

Charlotte, what's wrong with you?

I'm tired.

It's Charlotte.

I'm on my gran's landline.

I'm fine.

I'm actually fine.

We're all waiting around, sitting with her.

It kind of feels like some weird Christmas.

I know.

Thank you.

How are you?

I'm good.

Look.

I... I need to... What?

I... I'm sure I said...

I specifically told Joe not to work on that section.

No.

The whole point is for you to explore, offer up, and then I'll take what I can

from it.

I'm not interested in any completed phrases.

Well, that doesn't help at all.

Why didn't you call me?

No, it's not interrupting.

You can call me anytime.

Yes, it's appropriate.

You're so frustrating. I let go for a few hours and you're derailing it.

One, two, I don't know, maybe three days?

Okay.

It's my fault.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Bye.

Where's his top?

I said you had it.

Why wouldn't I have it? You're the one getting him ready for bed.

I don't know.

Billy?

Where's your pajama top, mate?

Where's your top, love?

Billy, calm, please.

Bill?

Billy.

Where's your shirt?

Did you hide your shirt?

That's strange.

Your horse told me that you did.

Because horses are terrible liars.

I know. It's very annoying.

But movement never lies.

Come here.

Oh, I got it.

There's an album. I know it when I see it. It's got a grey cover.

Oh, and there's that... There's that cello piece that she loves.

What is it?

Elgar. Elgar. Or something.

Let's look in the morning.

No. I want to find it now.

It's late, Mum.

Actually, you two could help.

There's one less thing to think about when it comes to the funeral

She's not dead yet.

She will be soon.

Charlotte, it would be lovely that you would do one of your dances at the

beginning of the service.

I know that she would love that.

Oh, yes, yes, I could do a little song.

Lauren, you can do a reading. I just don't think this is the right time to

about this. Think of the preparation we had for your wedding.

The music and the flowers and the church and the order of bloody service.

But with a funeral, you have what it seems like, I don't know, five minutes,

absolutely none of you want to talk about it.

A wedding is different.

Oh, really? It feels the same to me. Mum.

What?

Stay out of this, please.

Why?

Because.

We're talking about Gran's funeral. That concerns me as well, doesn't it?

Mum, I'm right here.

I know.

We're all very grateful.

Mum.

Mum.

Mum, please.

Hey.

You all right?

It's all just really shit timing.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

You know, don't you?

Do you?

Well, I figured, yeah.

In your situation, it's not ideal.

I mean, yeah, it's really bloody difficult, and you're going to have to

these sacrifices, but it's the most amazing thing.

It is.

It's totally worth it.

It's worth the struggle if it's something that you really want.

You sit down, you're ready for it.

And you just look at it as this really beautiful sidestep.

A side step for you and a side step for me are not the same thing.

I'd have to change everything.

Yeah, you probably will.

But isn't that what we're always doing anyway?

Our circumstances, our ideas, our bodies.

It's always changing.

But that's what I'm good at.

That's what I do every day.

This... This feels like slowing down.

Stopping.

With no one there to help me, help me start over.

Oh,

Mrs. Jolly.

I know we're all feeling crap this weekend, but there really is something a

bigger than us going on.

Please stop trying to be this mother all the time. No, I'm not trying to be a

martyr. I'm just trying to keep everything together for Mum.

And I would be amazed if you stepped up.

I'd be amazed if you'd let me. I think you're just going off on him, aren't

What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere.

You don't keep your word in.

Please stop.

I can't deal with you on top of everything else.

When would be a good time for Granny to die?

Oh, fuck off. Just stop, okay? Just stop now, all right? I think we're all a bit

tired. Let's go to bed.

You know what? You might as well have stayed in London.

You might as well have. And you know what? You would do well to remember that

it's us here for you at the end of the day and not your fucking job.

Good job.

This is my life.

And since when have you been here for me?

Really?

You know I'm pregnant.

You've not said anything.

Well, we weren't sure, though.

I'm sorry.

That it's me that's pregnant and not you.

Really, I am.

You told her.

Did you tell her? I just thought that.

I think that if we just thought... What did you think, Rohan?

You are going to have this baby, aren't you?

You can't help me. Surely, surely you're going to have it.

Right?

I don't know.

Or do you think you're too good just to be just a mum?

That's it.

Because we are the same, Charlotte.

And if you think that you are going to be a big loss to the world because you

just disappear off and have a baby, then...

then you're making a big mistake because you are really, really just not that

special.

Are you okay?

Hi. No, no, no, that's fine. No, I'm not doing anything.

You really... Fucker.

You... Alright, I think we're gonna, um... This is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna put that down.

We'll do it tomorrow.

And we'll just, uh... Yep.

Shake your cheek. Bye.

Hello? No, no, no, it's fine.

I understand.

Yes. I'm coming.

Thank you so much.

Mom.

I'm going to go and tell you now.