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Thank you.
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Hi, hello everyone. My name is Cathy.
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Welcome to my home.
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So today I will be representing my
daughter on a date.
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The only thing you need to know about my
daughter is that she's an overachiever.
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She likes to give her best in any
situation.
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And the minimum I'm expecting from any
boyfriends of hers is that he gives the
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best of himself. If he does, am I giving
my permission to date her?
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Even though I've been told that it won't
be much longer.
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How's everybody doing?
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I'm Juan, and I was thinking of getting
a girlfriend.
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But instead of going on dates with these
girls, I'd be going on dates with their
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moms.
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And, you know, if... The vibe is right
with the moms.
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I'm sure I'll get along with their
daughter.
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But if not, then I guess I'm going to
have to keep dating these moms on Date
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Milf.
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Hi. Hello. My name is Cassie, and you
are? I'm Juan.
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Nice to meet you, Juan.
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You have such a nice house. It's so big.
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Oh, thank you so much.
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Such a nice sentiment.
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So, are you ready for our date today?
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Yes. Okay. Let's get to it. So, for our
date today, I wanted to show you that
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romance asks a lot of preparation and
effort.
26
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And if she does end up dating my
daughter, I want to be sure she will be
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treated. So, today, I'm going to show
you, teach you, how to prepare a vase of
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roses,
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chocolate covered strawberries, and how
to write a haiku.
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Facts.
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Yeah, okay.
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This way?
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Okay.
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00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:50,850
So let's start with the roses, okay?
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00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:56,790
Okay. Now, you take the roses. Oh, not
on this one. It's already taken off. On
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this one, you take the thorn.
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Here. Take it off.
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Like that, to be sure you don't cut
yourself.
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00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:13,750
And then, at the end of the steam, you
make sure you cut it horizontally
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so the roses can have the maximum
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water, the maximum they need.
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Are you okay?
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Oh.
44
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,020
Yeah, I'm fine.
45
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:33,020
You know, like they say, you gotta smell
the roses.
46
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Yeah.
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Yeah, okay.
48
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,680
Is this alright?
49
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:39,820
Yeah.
50
00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:42,100
Okay, so you cut the thorn right here.
51
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,540
Ooh,
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you have special tools.
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Yeah. Great.
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Pop them off.
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Oh. I'll let you do it then.
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Alright, and I cut the thorn.
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But just like that, alright.
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Talking everywhere.
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Oh, that one is done.
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00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:03,850
Okay.
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00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:07,090
And like this.
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Huh.
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00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:14,668
All right.
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00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:15,670
Okay,
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I think we're done.
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Okay, so we should do a bouquet. Yeah.
Okay, like that.
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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Yeah, like this. It's perfect.
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You look good.
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Beautiful. You have great imagination.
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Absolutely.
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Like this?
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Uh -huh.
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Want to put the rest?
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Yeah, just like that.
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Let's have the face.
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Beautiful.
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You're doing that very well, very well,
Ron.
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I'm very proud.
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Bravo.
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You got this.
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You know, a rubber band would help, but
this will do.
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Oh, yeah.
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I can't wait for this.
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Voila.
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00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,500
I think it's time to melt the chocolate.
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Okay? All right.
88
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Perfect. It's perfectly melted.
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Yes, it is.
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00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:41,520
So, the key is to get the
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perfect amount of chocolate around the
strawberry.
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So, not too much, but enough so you can
feel all
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the flavor, you know.
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Just like that.
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Why not?
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I think you're fun.
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All right, your turn.
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All right.
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Amazing,
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you did so great in here.
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Okay. Hey.
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Oh.
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I'm guessing this is not a problem to
offer my daughter dozens of roses and
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eight of them strawberries.
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My God.
106
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They're really good. You have to try
one.
107
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Oh, yeah, is it?
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Yeah.
109
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But we can't eat them all.
110
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You really have to try it. They're
really good.
111
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:54,950
I'm sure they're very good, but I mean,
I don't... Come on, just try it.
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Try it, just try it.
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It's really good, yeah.
114
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But we can't eat them all.
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I mean, it's for you and my daughter.
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Thank who?
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We're going to go to the second, the
third thing we have to do. Oh, yeah, you
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said something about a haiku?
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A haiku.
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Yeah, it's a form of poetry.
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Well, and I've never really been the
best at rhyming.
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There is no rhyme in haiku.
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They follow a very trickleable
structure.
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Five, seven, five.
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For example, chocolate covered.
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00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:07,650
Juice is dripping all over my mouth.
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Lovely strawberry.
128
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Bravo.
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Thank you so much.
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Well, the rules are easy enough. So
anybody can actually
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create a haiku. So master.
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Can have a headache about it, but I'm
sure you can do something. I'm sure you
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can find something.
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Let's see, let's see.
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You're gorgeous.
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Wait, what's your daughter's name?
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Tiffany. Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany,
okay.
138
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,400
Tiffany, you're gorgeous.
139
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,520
Tiffany, you're...
140
00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:56,650
What color is her hair?
141
00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:01,310
If I tell you right now, it would go
against the rules.
142
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,290
I cannot block all the fun.
143
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,790
Write about somebody.
144
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,210
Let you know already.
145
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:17,250
I mean, I can, I'm just... I wouldn't be
on this show if there really
146
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,470
wasn't... I mean, I could write about
you.
147
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,650
Oh, you don't have to do that.
148
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,840
Oh, no, I mean, I... I really want to.
149
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,080
So, I mean... Okay.
150
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,560
Here it goes.
151
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,220
Learning romance from a woman pretty and
wise.
152
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How lucky am I?
153
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:40,200
This is really beautiful.
154
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,600
Really beautiful.
155
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,820
But you did use 8th level instead of 7
in the middle.
156
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:47,180
Oh, shit.
157
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:53,280
A woman so beautiful, which was implied.
158
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:55,310
Yeah. But
159
00:10:55,310 --> 00:11:07,070
I'm
160
00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:10,150
very glad that I'm not going to date a
guy like you.
161
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,550
Damn.
162
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:15,690
You're just going to give me up that
easy?
163
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,570
And even put up a fight?
164
00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,390
Why would you want to date me?
165
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,330
What?
166
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,480
Why not?
167
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,200
You're really awesome. You're smart.
168
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,460
You know all this romance stuff.
169
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:35,100
You're a really great teacher. And I'm
sure there's a lot more that you can
170
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,100
me.
171
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:44,040
Well, now that you're talking about it,
I think
172
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:50,960
there is plenty of other tricks and tips
I
173
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,580
can show you, yes.
174
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:54,820
Mm -hmm.
175
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:43,810
I hope you won't be too disappointed.
176
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:47,350
I'm sure I won't. Good.
177
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,470
Take off my band -aid.
178
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180
Ugh.
179
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,550
That tastes so good.
180
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:45,170
I feel so fucking good.
181
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,450
Get me to have it inside.
182
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:18,920
Hmm.
183
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:25,840
Thank you.
184
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,800
Hmm.
185
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,530
Oh God.
186
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:53,050
Oh God. Oh God.
187
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,940
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
188
00:22:45,020 --> 00:22:47,600
Yes. Fuck,
189
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:55,860
yes.
190
00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:29,340
Thank you.
191
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,040
So how did you know?
192
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,040
Fuck me hard on this one. Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
193
00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:44,180
Fuck yeah.
194
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000
Yeah, go ahead.
195
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,240
Oh, yeah.
196
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,620
Oh, fuck yeah.
197
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,080
Oh,
198
00:28:52,740 --> 00:28:54,700
fuck yeah.
199
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,360
Yes.
200
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,500
Oh,
201
00:28:57,740 --> 00:28:58,740
that's so good.
202
00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:00,180
Oh, yeah, that's so good.
203
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,240
Thank you.
204
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:29,360
to say that.
205
00:32:34,739 --> 00:32:37,540
Oh, God.
206
00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:42,440
Oh, God. Oh,
207
00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:47,260
God.
208
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,900
at first, but he's definitely a fast
learner.
209
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:26,280
And after her lesson of romance today,
I'm sure that it's going
210
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,280
to treat you right.
211
00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:28,139
Oh, really?
212
00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,000
Yeah. That's so exciting.
213
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,560
Well, honey, I have to leave you because
he's actually coming right now. Call me
214
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,399
when he leaves. Yeah.
215
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,400
I'll see you later.
216
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,360
Hey.
217
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,280
Today,
218
00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:51,580
You made learning very fun. I mean,
you're like the Bill Nye of dating.
219
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,660
But let's be honest.
220
00:33:56,100 --> 00:34:03,080
I'm only here for one thing, and one
thing only is to find out if I could
221
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,080
date your daughter or not.
222
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,720
Yes, and I think you're the perfect
choice.
223
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:12,120
And although it sounds really great,
it's pretty whack.
224
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,760
So I don't think I'm...
225
00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:17,980
gonna be able to date your daughter.
226
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,620
I'm sorry.
227
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,120
It's alright.
228
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,179
It's okay. I'm not mad.
229
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,480
Alright?
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