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All language subtitles for EPORNER.COM - [C8sZEazJQ90] Better Acquainted With MILF Mom (240)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:03,090 Thank you. 2 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,780 Hi, hello everyone. My name is Cathy. 3 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,440 Welcome to my home. 4 00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:44,220 So today I will be representing my daughter on a date. 5 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,640 The only thing you need to know about my daughter is that she's an overachiever. 6 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,540 She likes to give her best in any situation. 7 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:58,480 And the minimum I'm expecting from any boyfriends of hers is that he gives the 8 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:03,540 best of himself. If he does, am I giving my permission to date her? 9 00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:07,240 Even though I've been told that it won't be much longer. 10 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,660 How's everybody doing? 11 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:21,140 I'm Juan, and I was thinking of getting a girlfriend. 12 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:27,620 But instead of going on dates with these girls, I'd be going on dates with their 13 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,620 moms. 14 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,940 And, you know, if... The vibe is right with the moms. 15 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,220 I'm sure I'll get along with their daughter. 16 00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:40,820 But if not, then I guess I'm going to have to keep dating these moms on Date 17 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:41,820 Milf. 18 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,840 Hi. Hello. My name is Cassie, and you are? I'm Juan. 19 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,200 Nice to meet you, Juan. 20 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,240 You have such a nice house. It's so big. 21 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,640 Oh, thank you so much. 22 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,820 Such a nice sentiment. 23 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,940 So, are you ready for our date today? 24 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:04,930 Yes. Okay. Let's get to it. So, for our date today, I wanted to show you that 25 00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:08,850 romance asks a lot of preparation and effort. 26 00:02:09,070 --> 00:02:13,950 And if she does end up dating my daughter, I want to be sure she will be 27 00:02:13,950 --> 00:02:20,390 treated. So, today, I'm going to show you, teach you, how to prepare a vase of 28 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,390 roses, 29 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:26,610 chocolate covered strawberries, and how to write a haiku. 30 00:02:28,490 --> 00:02:29,490 Facts. 31 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,450 Yeah, okay. 32 00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:32,910 This way? 33 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,070 Okay. 34 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:50,850 So let's start with the roses, okay? 35 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:56,790 Okay. Now, you take the roses. Oh, not on this one. It's already taken off. On 36 00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:59,270 this one, you take the thorn. 37 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:02,190 Here. Take it off. 38 00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:06,010 Like that, to be sure you don't cut yourself. 39 00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:13,750 And then, at the end of the steam, you make sure you cut it horizontally 40 00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:20,250 so the roses can have the maximum 41 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,370 water, the maximum they need. 42 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,150 Are you okay? 43 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:28,450 Oh. 44 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,020 Yeah, I'm fine. 45 00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:33,020 You know, like they say, you gotta smell the roses. 46 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,400 Yeah. 47 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,080 Yeah, okay. 48 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,680 Is this alright? 49 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:39,820 Yeah. 50 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:42,100 Okay, so you cut the thorn right here. 51 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,540 Ooh, 52 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,780 you have special tools. 53 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,300 Yeah. Great. 54 00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:49,138 Pop them off. 55 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,320 Oh. I'll let you do it then. 56 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,480 Alright, and I cut the thorn. 57 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,960 But just like that, alright. 58 00:03:58,490 --> 00:03:59,490 Talking everywhere. 59 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,430 Oh, that one is done. 60 00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:03,850 Okay. 61 00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:07,090 And like this. 62 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:12,790 Huh. 63 00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:14,668 All right. 64 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:15,670 Okay, 65 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,589 I think we're done. 66 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,670 Okay, so we should do a bouquet. Yeah. Okay, like that. 67 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,180 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 68 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:34,100 Yeah, like this. It's perfect. 69 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,520 You look good. 70 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:38,260 Beautiful. You have great imagination. 71 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:41,580 Absolutely. 72 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,180 Like this? 73 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,360 Uh -huh. 74 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,120 Want to put the rest? 75 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:47,800 Yeah, just like that. 76 00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:50,900 Let's have the face. 77 00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:56,020 Beautiful. 78 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,120 You're doing that very well, very well, Ron. 79 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,400 I'm very proud. 80 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,900 Bravo. 81 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,620 You got this. 82 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:14,000 You know, a rubber band would help, but this will do. 83 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,240 Oh, yeah. 84 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,600 I can't wait for this. 85 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:19,640 Voila. 86 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,500 I think it's time to melt the chocolate. 87 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:27,920 Okay? All right. 88 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Perfect. It's perfectly melted. 89 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:34,140 Yes, it is. 90 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:41,520 So, the key is to get the 91 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,920 perfect amount of chocolate around the strawberry. 92 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:53,020 So, not too much, but enough so you can feel all 93 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,200 the flavor, you know. 94 00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:00,600 Just like that. 95 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:07,920 Why not? 96 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,760 I think you're fun. 97 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:11,920 All right, your turn. 98 00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:13,220 All right. 99 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,040 Amazing, 100 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,220 you did so great in here. 101 00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:28,510 Okay. Hey. 102 00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:29,810 Oh. 103 00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:36,550 I'm guessing this is not a problem to offer my daughter dozens of roses and 104 00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:37,830 eight of them strawberries. 105 00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:39,149 My God. 106 00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,990 They're really good. You have to try one. 107 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:41,949 Oh, yeah, is it? 108 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:42,950 Yeah. 109 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,230 But we can't eat them all. 110 00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:51,650 You really have to try it. They're really good. 111 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:54,950 I'm sure they're very good, but I mean, I don't... Come on, just try it. 112 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:57,860 Try it, just try it. 113 00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,380 It's really good, yeah. 114 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,980 But we can't eat them all. 115 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,740 I mean, it's for you and my daughter. 116 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240 Thank who? 117 00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:33,530 We're going to go to the second, the third thing we have to do. Oh, yeah, you 118 00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,470 said something about a haiku? 119 00:08:36,150 --> 00:08:37,929 A haiku. 120 00:08:38,669 --> 00:08:40,750 Yeah, it's a form of poetry. 121 00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:45,870 Well, and I've never really been the best at rhyming. 122 00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:49,870 There is no rhyme in haiku. 123 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,730 They follow a very trickleable structure. 124 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:57,590 Five, seven, five. 125 00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:02,830 For example, chocolate covered. 126 00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:07,650 Juice is dripping all over my mouth. 127 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:10,250 Lovely strawberry. 128 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,350 Bravo. 129 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:15,990 Thank you so much. 130 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:22,950 Well, the rules are easy enough. So anybody can actually 131 00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:26,110 create a haiku. So master. 132 00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:32,500 Can have a headache about it, but I'm sure you can do something. I'm sure you 133 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,820 can find something. 134 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:36,860 Let's see, let's see. 135 00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,220 You're gorgeous. 136 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,060 Wait, what's your daughter's name? 137 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:48,380 Tiffany. Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany, okay. 138 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,400 Tiffany, you're gorgeous. 139 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,520 Tiffany, you're... 140 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:56,650 What color is her hair? 141 00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:01,310 If I tell you right now, it would go against the rules. 142 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,290 I cannot block all the fun. 143 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,790 Write about somebody. 144 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,210 Let you know already. 145 00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:17,250 I mean, I can, I'm just... I wouldn't be on this show if there really 146 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,470 wasn't... I mean, I could write about you. 147 00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,650 Oh, you don't have to do that. 148 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,840 Oh, no, I mean, I... I really want to. 149 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,080 So, I mean... Okay. 150 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,560 Here it goes. 151 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,220 Learning romance from a woman pretty and wise. 152 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:35,820 How lucky am I? 153 00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:40,200 This is really beautiful. 154 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,600 Really beautiful. 155 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,820 But you did use 8th level instead of 7 in the middle. 156 00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:47,180 Oh, shit. 157 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:53,280 A woman so beautiful, which was implied. 158 00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:55,310 Yeah. But 159 00:10:55,310 --> 00:11:07,070 I'm 160 00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:10,150 very glad that I'm not going to date a guy like you. 161 00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:12,550 Damn. 162 00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:15,690 You're just going to give me up that easy? 163 00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,570 And even put up a fight? 164 00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,390 Why would you want to date me? 165 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,330 What? 166 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,480 Why not? 167 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,200 You're really awesome. You're smart. 168 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,460 You know all this romance stuff. 169 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:35,100 You're a really great teacher. And I'm sure there's a lot more that you can 170 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,100 me. 171 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:44,040 Well, now that you're talking about it, I think 172 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:50,960 there is plenty of other tricks and tips I 173 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,580 can show you, yes. 174 00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:54,820 Mm -hmm. 175 00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:43,810 I hope you won't be too disappointed. 176 00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:47,350 I'm sure I won't. Good. 177 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,470 Take off my band -aid. 178 00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180 Ugh. 179 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,550 That tastes so good. 180 00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:45,170 I feel so fucking good. 181 00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,450 Get me to have it inside. 182 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:18,920 Hmm. 183 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:25,840 Thank you. 184 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,800 Hmm. 185 00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,530 Oh God. 186 00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:53,050 Oh God. Oh God. 187 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,940 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 188 00:22:45,020 --> 00:22:47,600 Yes. Fuck, 189 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:55,860 yes. 190 00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:29,340 Thank you. 191 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,040 So how did you know? 192 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,040 Fuck me hard on this one. Oh, yeah? Yeah. 193 00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:44,180 Fuck yeah. 194 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000 Yeah, go ahead. 195 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,240 Oh, yeah. 196 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,620 Oh, fuck yeah. 197 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,080 Oh, 198 00:28:52,740 --> 00:28:54,700 fuck yeah. 199 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,360 Yes. 200 00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,500 Oh, 201 00:28:57,740 --> 00:28:58,740 that's so good. 202 00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:00,180 Oh, yeah, that's so good. 203 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,240 Thank you. 204 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:29,360 to say that. 205 00:32:34,739 --> 00:32:37,540 Oh, God. 206 00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:42,440 Oh, God. Oh, 207 00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:47,260 God. 208 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,900 at first, but he's definitely a fast learner. 209 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:26,280 And after her lesson of romance today, I'm sure that it's going 210 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,280 to treat you right. 211 00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:28,139 Oh, really? 212 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,000 Yeah. That's so exciting. 213 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,560 Well, honey, I have to leave you because he's actually coming right now. Call me 214 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,399 when he leaves. Yeah. 215 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,400 I'll see you later. 216 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,360 Hey. 217 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,280 Today, 218 00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:51,580 You made learning very fun. I mean, you're like the Bill Nye of dating. 219 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,660 But let's be honest. 220 00:33:56,100 --> 00:34:03,080 I'm only here for one thing, and one thing only is to find out if I could 221 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,080 date your daughter or not. 222 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,720 Yes, and I think you're the perfect choice. 223 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:12,120 And although it sounds really great, it's pretty whack. 224 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,760 So I don't think I'm... 225 00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:17,980 gonna be able to date your daughter. 226 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,620 I'm sorry. 227 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,120 It's alright. 228 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,179 It's okay. I'm not mad. 229 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,480 Alright? 14307