All language subtitles for Boomers.S02E06.Wedding.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-Gusty_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,618 --> 00:00:06,579 -[ Grunts ] -Oh, John. 2 00:00:06,579 --> 00:00:09,779 -IĀ“m going in. -Hang on! 3 00:00:11,419 --> 00:00:14,180 Mum?! What are you doing here? 4 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,280 Why didnĀ“t you call us? WeĀ“d have picked you up. 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,620 I donĀ“t need a lift. 6 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,181 IĀ“ve got one. A friend of mine. 7 00:00:21,181 --> 00:00:23,451 Drives a cab in his spare time, 8 00:00:23,451 --> 00:00:25,682 so heĀ“s used to the supermarket run. 9 00:00:25,682 --> 00:00:27,422 -Hi. -Hi! 10 00:00:27,422 --> 00:00:29,822 ROY: Lovely day. 11 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:32,653 -HeĀ“s a happy one. -HeĀ“s getting married next week. 12 00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:35,753 Oh. WhoĀ“s the lucky lady? 13 00:00:35,753 --> 00:00:37,653 I am. 14 00:00:38,754 --> 00:00:41,524 Ready. 15 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:15,129 -[ Camera shutter clicks ] -This is lovely, isnĀ“t it? 16 00:01:15,129 --> 00:01:18,630 ItĀ“s too expensive. And thatĀ“s before the tips. 17 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,660 Look at them, hovering like vultures, 18 00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:23,431 waiting to pick over the bones of my wallet. 19 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,161 Why do they have to get married here? 20 00:01:25,161 --> 00:01:26,291 ItĀ“s only Joan, isnĀ“t it? 21 00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:28,591 SheĀ“d be happy in the back room of the community center. 22 00:01:28,591 --> 00:01:30,862 Maureen wanted a nice venue. 23 00:01:30,862 --> 00:01:32,862 We canĀ“t afford to stay here. 24 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,062 You shouldnĀ“t have accepted the invitation. 25 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,163 YouĀ“ve got to learn to say no to people, Joyce. 26 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,063 -Ask me if you can go home. -Other than me. 27 00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:42,864 John and Maureen have always been there for us. 28 00:01:42,864 --> 00:01:45,064 Just smile and join in 29 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,394 and try to behave with a bit of dignity. 30 00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:49,195 Why couldnĀ“t they get married at the beginning of the month 31 00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:52,095 -when weĀ“ve got some money? -Alan! Joycie! 32 00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:53,335 -Hiya! -Nice place, eh? 33 00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:55,395 -Yeah, lovely. -Are you gonna use the spa? 34 00:01:55,395 --> 00:01:56,866 I bet itĀ“s a while since youĀ“ve been pampered. 35 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,766 Joyce is the only person allowed touch my body. 36 00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:01,636 And even sheĀ“s on limited access. 37 00:02:01,636 --> 00:02:02,537 Alan. 38 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:05,267 Hey, theyĀ“ve even got colonic irrigation, you know. 39 00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:06,167 Yeah, well, why not? 40 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,568 TheyĀ“re already trying to suck everything out of my pockets. 41 00:02:08,568 --> 00:02:10,368 JOYCE: [ Sighs ] 42 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:17,169 IĀ“m so pleased for her, finding love a second time around. 43 00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:19,369 Her marriage to my dad was a struggle for her. 44 00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:21,370 He was emotionally detached. 45 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:23,500 -Oh, dear. -I had a lucky escape. 46 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,070 Daughters of emotionally detached fathers 47 00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:29,371 -can turn out to be a bit tarty. -I didnĀ“t know that. 48 00:02:29,371 --> 00:02:32,541 I just want her to have a lovely couple of days, you know? 49 00:02:32,541 --> 00:02:34,172 Must have taken a lot of planning. 50 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:36,172 The hotel sent me an online form. 51 00:02:36,172 --> 00:02:37,842 Took me about five minutes. 52 00:02:37,842 --> 00:02:39,502 -Oh. -Hiya! 53 00:02:39,502 --> 00:02:41,443 Hi. 54 00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,243 WhatĀ“s Trevor wearing? 55 00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:45,603 Well, IĀ“ve been a bit concerned about him lately, 56 00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:47,704 because of his lack of assertiveness. 57 00:02:47,704 --> 00:02:50,544 So I took him to an image consultant, 58 00:02:50,544 --> 00:02:52,774 got him a color-awareness makeover. 59 00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:56,075 It turns out orange is his power color. 60 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:58,475 Well, the idea is, 61 00:02:58,475 --> 00:03:01,346 itĀ“ll make him assertive and more confident. 62 00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:04,606 ItĀ“ll also help him to be more expressive sexually. 63 00:03:04,606 --> 00:03:08,147 ThatĀ“s a bonus, isnĀ“t it? 64 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,377 I feel like IĀ“m not myself, 65 00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:11,307 -you know? -No, thank you! 66 00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:13,508 I donĀ“t need to wear orange to assert myself. 67 00:03:13,508 --> 00:03:15,748 -IĀ“m perfectly capable of that. -Why donĀ“t you tell Carol? 68 00:03:15,748 --> 00:03:17,478 Oh, I couldnĀ“t do that. SheĀ“d be cross. 69 00:03:18,408 --> 00:03:21,279 Hey, itĀ“s very important that we see Roy has a good time tonight. 70 00:03:21,279 --> 00:03:23,149 Yeah, well, you want to welcome him into the family. 71 00:03:23,149 --> 00:03:24,749 I want to make sure he doesnĀ“t pull out. 72 00:03:24,749 --> 00:03:27,380 IĀ“ve waited 20 years for someone to sweep Joan off her feet. 73 00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:29,180 I donĀ“t want him ducking out at the last minute. 74 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:30,550 Did you bring a shotgun? 75 00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:37,251 ♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ 76 00:03:38,111 --> 00:03:41,252 -♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ -ItĀ“s the orange. 77 00:03:41,252 --> 00:03:42,852 ItĀ“s working! 78 00:03:43,582 --> 00:03:45,083 TheyĀ“re here. 79 00:03:45,883 --> 00:03:48,853 I should tell you, you might notice a difference in Mum. 80 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,453 Oh. How do you mean? 81 00:03:50,453 --> 00:03:53,314 Oh, sheĀ“s loosened up a bit. 82 00:03:53,314 --> 00:03:55,314 -WeĀ“re here. -Oh! 83 00:03:55,314 --> 00:03:58,115 WeĀ“ve got a reception committee, Joan. 84 00:03:58,115 --> 00:04:00,415 -Afternoon, all. -This is Roy. 85 00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:06,116 Roy, this is Carol, Joyce, Alan, and, uh...another one. 86 00:04:06,116 --> 00:04:07,616 Hi, ladies. 87 00:04:07,616 --> 00:04:08,686 -Hi! -Hi. 88 00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:10,386 These must be your sisters, then? 89 00:04:10,386 --> 00:04:11,787 -Oh! -[ Laughter ] 90 00:04:13,117 --> 00:04:16,287 -You look fabulous, Joan. -10 years younger. 91 00:04:16,287 --> 00:04:17,858 20 years younger. 92 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,318 So, nearly as young as Roy. 93 00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:22,158 RoyĀ“s found me a fantastic physio. 94 00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:25,519 Plus, I give her a bit of Reiki massage myself. 95 00:04:25,519 --> 00:04:26,859 Magic hands. 96 00:04:26,859 --> 00:04:29,159 ItĀ“s like having your very own Paul Daniels. 97 00:04:29,159 --> 00:04:31,220 Who hasnĀ“t dreamed of that? 98 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,260 -TREVOR: WhereĀ“s the wheelchair? -JOHN: Gone. 99 00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:36,120 ItĀ“s a miracle, yeah. She only uses it now when it suits her. 100 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,461 She got on the front row of a Michael BublĆ© concert 101 00:04:38,461 --> 00:04:41,121 -with it last week. -Looking forward to the big day? 102 00:04:41,121 --> 00:04:43,092 Oh, very much so, Alan, yes. 103 00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:45,692 IĀ“ve landed the woman of my dreams. 104 00:04:45,692 --> 00:04:48,522 Oh, stop it. HeĀ“s always embarrassing me. 105 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,763 You must be very happy, Joan. 106 00:04:50,763 --> 00:04:52,693 All right, you donĀ“t have to shout. 107 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,363 Nice outfit. You been pollinated yet? 108 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:58,264 -[ Laughter ] -Oh, very good. 109 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,194 So, you two met online, eh? 110 00:05:01,194 --> 00:05:02,465 ThatĀ“s unusual, isnĀ“t it? 111 00:05:02,465 --> 00:05:04,225 ThatĀ“s how everybody meets now. 112 00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:06,325 I get lots of offers in the chat room. 113 00:05:06,325 --> 00:05:08,595 ItĀ“s a bit of a cattle market out there. 114 00:05:08,595 --> 00:05:10,566 Makes you glad weĀ“ve already bought our cattle. 115 00:05:11,526 --> 00:05:12,726 Uh, well, cows. 116 00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:14,666 Uh, livestock. [ Chuckles ] 117 00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:17,597 What I mean is, it makes you glad 118 00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:20,227 that weĀ“ve already purchased our products. 119 00:05:20,227 --> 00:05:21,227 Are you finished? 120 00:05:21,227 --> 00:05:23,468 I was considering a couple in the end -- 121 00:05:23,468 --> 00:05:26,728 this one here or Tony from Gambia. 122 00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:29,099 Oh, sounded very nice. 123 00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:32,229 "Great body, great bum, and great sense of humor." 124 00:05:32,229 --> 00:05:33,399 I think I know him. 125 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,430 Too late to change your mind now. 126 00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:39,430 Is it? I havenĀ“t deleted my account in the chat room yet. 127 00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:42,331 I can see sheĀ“s gonna keep me on my toes. 128 00:05:42,331 --> 00:05:45,131 So, what do you do, Roy? 129 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:47,232 Are you retired or... 130 00:05:47,232 --> 00:05:48,672 or not quite yet? 131 00:05:48,672 --> 00:05:50,402 IĀ“m semi-retired. 132 00:05:50,402 --> 00:05:52,572 I was running a couple of businesses, 133 00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:53,602 but they didnĀ“t work out. 134 00:05:53,602 --> 00:05:56,533 -Not all of them do. -ROY: IĀ“ll keep trying, though. 135 00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:59,103 Just like my marriages. IĀ“ve had four before this one. 136 00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:00,834 -JOAN: Fifth time lucky, eh? -[ Laughs ] 137 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,634 Right. LetĀ“s get you settled in. 138 00:06:02,634 --> 00:06:04,204 YouĀ“re getting married in the morning. 139 00:06:04,204 --> 00:06:05,434 -LetĀ“s do it. -MAUREEN: You and Roy 140 00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,475 have got separate rooms. 141 00:06:07,475 --> 00:06:08,535 Oh. Okay. 142 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,575 -ThatĀ“s all right, isnĀ“t it? -Fine with me. 143 00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,535 We donĀ“t want any hanky-panky. 144 00:06:12,535 --> 00:06:14,806 -[ Laughter ] -No, we donĀ“t. 145 00:06:14,806 --> 00:06:16,776 -We have a laugh. -I can see that. 146 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,106 Yeah. See you later, everyone. 147 00:06:18,106 --> 00:06:19,176 -Yeah, okay. -Bye! 148 00:06:19,176 --> 00:06:22,107 WeĀ“ll catch you somewhere. Okay. Bye. 149 00:06:22,837 --> 00:06:24,607 What the hellĀ“s going on?! 150 00:06:24,607 --> 00:06:26,108 HeĀ“s 20 years younger than her. 151 00:06:26,108 --> 00:06:27,378 He must be after her money. 152 00:06:27,378 --> 00:06:29,338 We must talk to John and Maureen about this. 153 00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:31,738 We forgot something. Just popping out. 154 00:06:31,738 --> 00:06:33,409 -See you later. -Yeah. 155 00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:35,739 RoyĀ“s taking me down to the cashpoint. 156 00:06:35,739 --> 00:06:37,509 IĀ“m getting some money out for him. 157 00:06:37,509 --> 00:06:40,140 HeĀ“s a bit short at the moment. Coming. 158 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,540 Plenty of women have toy boys. 159 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:46,141 Not 70-year-old toy boys. 160 00:06:46,141 --> 00:06:47,341 HeĀ“s nowhere near 70. 161 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:48,881 -How old is he, then? -69. 162 00:06:48,881 --> 00:06:51,712 HeĀ“s either after her money, or heĀ“s a bit, you know. 163 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,542 -Constipated? -Mad. 164 00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:54,912 What are you talking about? 165 00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:57,712 Going for older women. He might have a mother fixation. 166 00:06:57,712 --> 00:06:58,813 A lot of men do it. 167 00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:00,813 Lots of men have mother fixations? 168 00:07:00,813 --> 00:07:02,213 Have you ever heard of "cougars"? 169 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,513 You ever heard of "Psycho"? 170 00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:04,714 Love is blind, Alan. 171 00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:06,484 Why do you think Joyce ended up with you? 172 00:07:06,484 --> 00:07:07,814 All weĀ“re saying is that maybe you and Maureen 173 00:07:07,814 --> 00:07:10,114 should look into this a bit more carefully. 174 00:07:10,114 --> 00:07:12,445 IĀ“ve waited 20 years for someone to take Joan off my hands. 175 00:07:12,445 --> 00:07:14,185 DonĀ“t cock it up for me now. 176 00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:17,416 -Roy! You having a drink? -Oh, no, thanks. 177 00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:19,146 Come on. ItĀ“s the night before your wedding. 178 00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:20,546 No, IĀ“m not much of a drinker. 179 00:07:20,546 --> 00:07:21,616 I avoid it if I can. 180 00:07:21,616 --> 00:07:23,616 Sensible advice. Yes. 181 00:07:23,616 --> 00:07:26,147 What a down-to-earth, sensible bloke. 182 00:07:26,147 --> 00:07:29,217 WeĀ“re thinking of having a round of golf as part of the stag. 183 00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:32,188 Actually, IĀ“d be happier staying here in the hotel. 184 00:07:32,188 --> 00:07:33,748 IĀ“ve got a pacemaker, you see. 185 00:07:33,748 --> 00:07:35,688 ItĀ“s fine. I just... 186 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,549 Easier to keep the exercise to a minimum. 187 00:07:37,549 --> 00:07:40,119 TheyĀ“ve got golf buggies. You donĀ“t even have to sit up. 188 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:42,119 We can lie you down in the back with the clubs. 189 00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:44,320 So, what do you want to do, Roy? 190 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,690 I was hoping to sample the spa. 191 00:07:49,190 --> 00:07:52,221 ItĀ“s amazing, isnĀ“t it? Finding love at her age. 192 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:55,351 Well, romance isnĀ“t age-specific is it? 193 00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:56,622 Oh, thatĀ“s true. 194 00:07:56,622 --> 00:07:58,792 We inherited my granddadĀ“s tortoise, 195 00:07:58,792 --> 00:08:01,292 and that was mating well into its 90s. 196 00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:02,292 ThereĀ“s hope for Mum, then. 197 00:08:02,292 --> 00:08:04,393 WeĀ“ll just have to feed her plenty of lettuce. 198 00:08:04,393 --> 00:08:05,653 Are you not worried 199 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,623 that she might be rushing into this a bit? 200 00:08:07,623 --> 00:08:09,494 Well, she canĀ“t think about it too long. 201 00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:11,694 HeĀ“s a bit younger than her, though, isnĀ“t he? 202 00:08:11,694 --> 00:08:13,694 Well, she would be hard pushed 203 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,295 to find anyone that wasnĀ“t, Joyce. 204 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,595 ItĀ“s just that some people... 205 00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:18,795 -Not Roy. -Oh, not Roy. 206 00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:24,426 No. But some people exploit older people in a relationship. 207 00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:26,456 You think heĀ“s using her for sex? 208 00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:29,657 Not sex, no. 209 00:08:29,657 --> 00:08:31,657 CanĀ“t you just get past the age gap? 210 00:08:31,657 --> 00:08:34,357 We just think you should find out more about him. 211 00:08:34,357 --> 00:08:36,298 -ThatĀ“s all. -They met online. 212 00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,558 Lots of people meet online. 213 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,258 HeĀ“s been married four times. 214 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,459 That doesnĀ“t mean anything. 215 00:08:41,459 --> 00:08:43,259 We think heĀ“s marrying her for the money. 216 00:08:43,259 --> 00:08:44,929 You said you didnĀ“t think heĀ“d do that. 217 00:08:44,929 --> 00:08:48,130 -I was lying. -[ Sighs ] 218 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,700 WeĀ“re basically paying for someone to beat us up. 219 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,761 -YouĀ“ll enjoy it. -IĀ“m not leaving a tip. 220 00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:58,361 I think itĀ“s a very good idea, Roy. 221 00:08:58,361 --> 00:09:00,762 -Very relaxing, isnĀ“t it? -YouĀ“re very smooth. 222 00:09:00,762 --> 00:09:01,762 What happened to your hair? 223 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:03,732 Carol wants me to be more Continental, 224 00:09:03,732 --> 00:09:05,802 so she gets me waxed regularly. 225 00:09:05,802 --> 00:09:07,633 HeĀ“s full of surprises, isnĀ“t he? 226 00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:09,633 Some women prefer it. 227 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,603 I can understand that, yeah. MaureenĀ“s the same with her car. 228 00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:15,204 I see theyĀ“ve found more oil under Gatwick. 229 00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:16,834 Yes, and thatĀ“s not the last of it either. 230 00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:18,264 -No? -No. 231 00:09:18,264 --> 00:09:20,505 Fossil fuels arenĀ“t done yet, by any means. 232 00:09:20,505 --> 00:09:23,305 ThereĀ“s a lot of potential down there still. 233 00:09:23,305 --> 00:09:24,705 Did you know that man has only been able 234 00:09:24,705 --> 00:09:27,436 to bore down 2 kilometers below the EarthĀ“s surface? 235 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:28,836 Some men can bore further than that. 236 00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:32,507 -IĀ“m not doing this. -YouĀ“ve got to do it, Maureen. 237 00:09:32,507 --> 00:09:35,237 You donĀ“t want Joan being taken advantage of. 238 00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,507 -ItĀ“s illegal. -HeĀ“s taking her money. 239 00:09:37,507 --> 00:09:38,537 ThatĀ“s illegal. 240 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,138 WeĀ“re just trying to find out a bit more about him, Maureen. 241 00:09:41,138 --> 00:09:42,468 ThereĀ“s nothing wrong with that. 242 00:09:42,468 --> 00:09:44,468 But we canĀ“t get in. We need his key. 243 00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,539 Why didnĀ“t you let her and Roy share a room? 244 00:09:46,539 --> 00:09:47,809 We could have used her key. 245 00:09:47,809 --> 00:09:49,869 TheyĀ“re not married yet. ItĀ“s not normal. 246 00:09:49,869 --> 00:09:53,340 ThatĀ“s the bit that isnĀ“t normal! 247 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,510 Excuse me. Sorry. 248 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:57,910 But IĀ“ve forgotten my key. 249 00:09:57,910 --> 00:09:59,571 Could you let us in? 250 00:09:59,571 --> 00:10:00,741 Is it your room? 251 00:10:00,741 --> 00:10:02,941 -Sort of. -WeĀ“re family. 252 00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:04,511 JOYCE: Almost family. 253 00:10:04,511 --> 00:10:05,512 We will be tomorrow. 254 00:10:05,512 --> 00:10:08,542 -She will be. -My mumĀ“s fiancĆ©. 255 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,842 TheyĀ“re getting married tomorrow. 256 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,373 He needs his lucky teeth. 257 00:10:12,373 --> 00:10:14,813 Oh, thank you! 258 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:17,343 You can come back and do the room later. 259 00:10:17,343 --> 00:10:18,614 What if he comes back? 260 00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:21,214 -I could stand guard. -Well done, Carol. 261 00:10:21,214 --> 00:10:22,814 What should I do if I see him coming? 262 00:10:22,814 --> 00:10:24,645 -You make a noise. -Okay. 263 00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:26,145 Is that all right? 264 00:10:26,145 --> 00:10:27,645 Just wanted to be clear about it. 265 00:10:27,645 --> 00:10:29,245 -Yeah. -IĀ“m perfectly capable 266 00:10:29,245 --> 00:10:31,176 -of thinking for myself. -Of course you are. 267 00:10:31,176 --> 00:10:32,346 CAROL: Okay, then. 268 00:10:32,346 --> 00:10:33,646 Okay, letĀ“s go. 269 00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:34,946 What kind of noise? 270 00:10:35,716 --> 00:10:38,247 IĀ“ll just cough. 271 00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:39,917 Or sing. 272 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,417 No, IĀ“ll cough. 273 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:43,448 No, sing. SingingĀ“s better. 274 00:10:46,618 --> 00:10:50,179 This place reminds me of a hotel I once stayed in in Morocco 275 00:10:50,179 --> 00:10:52,179 when I was working on the oil rigs. 276 00:10:52,179 --> 00:10:53,649 I thought you were in business. 277 00:10:53,649 --> 00:10:55,679 Oh, this was before the business ventures. 278 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,880 -And after the Army. -You were in the Army? 279 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,550 Mm. I was discharged early. 280 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,280 Was that on a medical? 281 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,821 There was an incident involving a local woman. 282 00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:05,781 It got blown out of all proportion. 283 00:11:05,781 --> 00:11:08,581 As these things do, yes, but -- Oh. 284 00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:11,252 How come you got a female masseur? 285 00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:12,682 She could have gone to any one of us, John. 286 00:11:12,682 --> 00:11:13,882 It was totally random. 287 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,252 Oh, you donĀ“t think it could have been 288 00:11:15,252 --> 00:11:17,153 something to do with your color scheme, then? 289 00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:18,883 ItĀ“s a load of mumbo jumbo, John. 290 00:11:18,883 --> 00:11:20,523 The idea that IĀ“m gonna change 291 00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:22,284 from some normal, run-of-the-mill bloke 292 00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:25,784 into some kind of cool guy just because IĀ“m wearing orange socks 293 00:11:25,784 --> 00:11:27,724 is utterly ridiculous. 294 00:11:27,724 --> 00:11:29,785 [ Bottle clatters ] 295 00:11:29,785 --> 00:11:30,855 -Thank you. -No worries. 296 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:35,786 ♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ 297 00:11:35,786 --> 00:11:37,786 So, did you enjoy that? 298 00:11:37,786 --> 00:11:39,856 Yeah, very good. How about you? 299 00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:41,357 Everything beating normally? 300 00:11:41,357 --> 00:11:42,727 Oh, itĀ“s fine. 301 00:11:42,727 --> 00:11:46,387 The crucial thing is making sure it stays at a steady rate. 302 00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:49,358 ItĀ“s like the spa version of that movie "Speed." 303 00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,958 YouĀ“re doing very well, Alan. Maureen would be proud of you. 304 00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:54,689 I know it means a lot to her to see Joan happy. 305 00:11:54,689 --> 00:11:57,529 A massage and a facialĀ“s a small price to pay, isnĀ“t it? 306 00:11:57,529 --> 00:11:58,729 TREVOR: What next, Roy? 307 00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:01,830 IĀ“ve always wanted to try a back, crack, and sack. 308 00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:04,330 -Okay. -Hang on. What is that? 309 00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:06,330 Well, thatĀ“s when they strip all the hair -- 310 00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,561 It doesnĀ“t matter. WeĀ“re doing it. 311 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,631 -We canĀ“t do that. -IĀ“ve already had it done. 312 00:12:09,631 --> 00:12:11,591 -All over? -In for a penny... 313 00:12:11,591 --> 00:12:13,161 And you think you know someone. 314 00:12:13,161 --> 00:12:15,592 -Is it painful? -No. 315 00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:21,233 What are we looking for? 316 00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:22,533 Clues. 317 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,793 [ Sighs ] What are we -- the Famous Five? 318 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,794 IĀ“ll just have a quick look on his computer. 319 00:12:26,794 --> 00:12:28,334 No. LetĀ“s just go. 320 00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:31,364 We canĀ“t get onto his laptop anyway. 321 00:12:32,865 --> 00:12:34,835 HeĀ“s already logged on to Facebook. 322 00:12:36,735 --> 00:12:38,865 Oh! Look! 323 00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:41,496 HeĀ“s got loads of photos of them together. 324 00:12:41,496 --> 00:12:43,196 DoesnĀ“t mean anything, Maureen. 325 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:46,397 Fake marriage applicants take loads of photos 326 00:12:46,397 --> 00:12:48,697 to fool immigration all the time. 327 00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:50,367 LetĀ“s check his e-mails. 328 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:51,938 Joyce, do not check his e-mails! 329 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,738 Maureen, Joan is getting on. SheĀ“s vulnerable. 330 00:12:55,738 --> 00:12:58,969 ItĀ“s perfectly reasonable to think that someone like Roy 331 00:12:58,969 --> 00:13:01,839 has an ulterior motive for being interested in her. 332 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,900 ItĀ“s a pension statement. 333 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,970 HeĀ“s loaded. 334 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,340 Blimey. 335 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,941 Is it too late for me to marry him? 336 00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:12,771 [ Gasps ] 337 00:13:12,771 --> 00:13:14,171 [ Footsteps approaching ] 338 00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:18,542 [ Sighs ] 339 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:19,802 [ Breathes sharply ] 340 00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:20,942 ♫ La-la ♫ 341 00:13:20,942 --> 00:13:22,902 ♫ La-la, la-la, la, la ♫ 342 00:13:24,273 --> 00:13:26,603 ♫ La-la, la-la-la, la, la, la ♫ 343 00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:29,703 [ Loudly ] ♫ La-la, la-la-la, la, la, la ♫ 344 00:13:29,703 --> 00:13:32,474 Hello, there! Where you off to? 345 00:13:32,474 --> 00:13:35,244 Just going to RoyĀ“s room. He wants his phone. 346 00:13:35,244 --> 00:13:38,475 ♫ Oh, la-la, la-la-la, la, la, la ♫ 347 00:13:38,475 --> 00:13:39,875 [ Coughing ] 348 00:13:41,505 --> 00:13:42,945 -You all right? -Yeah. 349 00:13:42,945 --> 00:13:44,876 You -- You want to borrow my phone? 350 00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:47,846 Oh, will it have lots of pictures of that orange man? 351 00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:49,576 -Yeah. -No, thanks. 352 00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,247 [ Coughing ] 353 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,277 Oh, and you better not be giving me that cough. 354 00:13:55,477 --> 00:13:56,878 Oh! 355 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,708 What are you two doing? 356 00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:01,408 Uh...looking through RoyĀ“s stuff. 357 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:02,248 What for? 358 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,879 We donĀ“t know anything about him, Mum. 359 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,180 And you are a bit older than he is, so... 360 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,250 And you think heĀ“s after my money? 361 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,580 -Yeah. -But now we know 362 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:13,980 that youĀ“re after his. 363 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:15,811 So thatĀ“s all right. 364 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,511 DidnĀ“t you hear my noise? 365 00:14:18,511 --> 00:14:21,211 I tell you what -- ThatĀ“s given me a new level of respect 366 00:14:21,211 --> 00:14:23,252 for TrevorĀ“s pain threshold. 367 00:14:23,252 --> 00:14:24,412 You sure you donĀ“t want to sit down? 368 00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:26,352 -No. No, no, no, no. -No, no, no. 369 00:14:26,352 --> 00:14:28,212 I didnĀ“t hate it as much as I thought I would. 370 00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:30,183 -I did. -Yeah, so did I. 371 00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:32,683 At the very least, she could have warmed up that spatula. 372 00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:34,283 Oh, here are the girls. 373 00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:35,454 Did you find anything? 374 00:14:36,184 --> 00:14:38,514 -Joan told me. -MAUREEN: I am sorry. 375 00:14:38,514 --> 00:14:40,254 We just didnĀ“t know anything about you. 376 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,815 You could have been a serial killer. 377 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,315 Well, not a serial killer. 378 00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:46,215 Oh, no. No, not a serial killer. Obviously. 379 00:14:46,215 --> 00:14:47,555 But just a bit strange. 380 00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,216 -Abnormal. -Odd. 381 00:14:49,216 --> 00:14:50,356 WeĀ“ll stop now. 382 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,586 IĀ“d have done exactly the same thing. 383 00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,517 As you say, I could be anyone. 384 00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:56,357 YouĀ“ve got to be sure, havenĀ“t you? 385 00:14:56,357 --> 00:14:57,587 I feel terrible. 386 00:14:57,587 --> 00:14:59,457 Please donĀ“t. No need. 387 00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:00,557 Can I get you a drink? 388 00:15:00,557 --> 00:15:02,358 -No, thanks. -Go on. 389 00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:04,288 -No, really. -Go on, Roy. Just for us. 390 00:15:04,288 --> 00:15:05,888 -Just one. -Okay, just for you. 391 00:15:05,888 --> 00:15:08,659 -Large scotch. -I thought you didnĀ“t drink. 392 00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:10,719 Well, I wanted to make a good impression. 393 00:15:10,719 --> 00:15:12,559 ItĀ“s a big day meeting the family. 394 00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:15,290 No one thinks badly of you, Roy. Do they, Joyce? 395 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,920 -No. -There you go. 396 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,961 Cheers. 397 00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,691 Ahh! 398 00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:35,223 -WhatĀ“s this? -Chorizo omelet. 399 00:15:35,223 --> 00:15:36,493 Do I like it? 400 00:15:36,493 --> 00:15:38,493 Feeling a bit delicate? 401 00:15:38,493 --> 00:15:40,894 -At both ends. -It was worth it, though, Al. 402 00:15:40,894 --> 00:15:43,294 We needed to smooth things over with Roy. 403 00:15:43,294 --> 00:15:44,894 Can we not talk about smooth things? 404 00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:46,225 You donĀ“t want that. 405 00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:47,695 Do you want me to get you a proper breakfast? 406 00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:48,765 DonĀ“t need anything. 407 00:15:48,765 --> 00:15:50,525 -ThereĀ“s plenty here. -But itĀ“s mine. 408 00:15:50,525 --> 00:15:52,626 IsnĀ“t it about time Joan was down? 409 00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:54,826 I mean, the ceremony starts at 11:00, doesnĀ“t it? 410 00:15:54,826 --> 00:15:56,426 Roy needs to get a move, as well. 411 00:15:56,426 --> 00:15:57,666 -CAROL: Morning! -Morning! 412 00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,667 Sorry weĀ“re late. 413 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,767 Oh, your mum wants to have a word with you. 414 00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:02,897 -SheĀ“s in the lounge. -IĀ“ll go and talk to her. 415 00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:04,897 You two go and wake Roy up. 416 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,468 I havenĀ“t finished me breakfast. 417 00:16:06,468 --> 00:16:07,968 Yes, you have. 418 00:16:10,728 --> 00:16:12,229 JOHN: Come on, Trev. 419 00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:15,799 I canĀ“t get my corsage to stay on. 420 00:16:15,799 --> 00:16:18,830 Something tells me youĀ“re the kind of man who could. 421 00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:20,600 ♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ 422 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,430 Love your tie. 423 00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:28,801 ♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do ♫ 424 00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:31,902 Roy? Roy? 425 00:16:31,902 --> 00:16:33,372 You donĀ“t think heĀ“s done a runner? 426 00:16:33,372 --> 00:16:33,902 HeĀ“ll be asleep. 427 00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:37,273 ALAN: Roy! 428 00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:38,873 Why isnĀ“t he waking up? 429 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:41,203 We could just go in. 430 00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:42,273 WeĀ“ve got no key. 431 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,374 -WhereĀ“d you get that? -I lost my key last night. 432 00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:46,604 After the bars closed. 433 00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,574 While we were still trying to find our rooms. 434 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,975 Just after you took Roy outside to throw up. 435 00:16:50,975 --> 00:16:53,375 ItĀ“s a passkey. The girl on reception gave it to me. 436 00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,535 The receptionist gave you a key that opens up all the rooms? 437 00:16:55,535 --> 00:16:56,976 Yes. She insisted. 438 00:16:56,976 --> 00:16:59,436 You must never use your powers for evil. 439 00:17:00,376 --> 00:17:02,836 [ Lock disengages, cellphone beeps ] 440 00:17:03,977 --> 00:17:06,477 Roy! Roy! 441 00:17:06,477 --> 00:17:07,937 Roy. 442 00:17:07,937 --> 00:17:09,838 Come on. YouĀ“re gonna be late. 443 00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:14,208 -Roy? -Is he... 444 00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,608 I donĀ“t know. 445 00:17:15,608 --> 00:17:17,279 He did have a bit to drink last night. 446 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:18,609 Yeah, but that wouldnĀ“t have killed him. 447 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,479 -That might. -Aah! 448 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:23,740 Morning. 449 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,780 The girls are getting jumpy downstairs. 450 00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:28,240 IĀ“ve just had a text from Carol. 451 00:17:32,811 --> 00:17:34,981 -IĀ“ll tell them to wait. -[ Cellphone beeping ] 452 00:17:34,981 --> 00:17:37,682 Roy is the best thing that could ever happen to her. 453 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,012 -Hi, Mum. -JOYCE: Hi! 454 00:17:39,012 --> 00:17:41,483 -Hi. -How you feeling? 455 00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,683 -Fine. -WhatĀ“s on your mind, Joan? 456 00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:45,913 Well, IĀ“ve been thinking about Roy. 457 00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,543 Oh! [ Chuckles ] 458 00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:49,944 Steady on, this early in the morning. 459 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,614 -What you thinking? -I donĀ“t want to marry him. 460 00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:57,815 Oh, my God. HeĀ“s dead, heĀ“s dead, heĀ“s dead! 461 00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,415 All right, love. Just calm down. 462 00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:00,585 TREVOR: YouĀ“re going to be okay. 463 00:18:00,585 --> 00:18:02,916 People get over all sorts of traumatic experiences. 464 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,516 But heĀ“s dead, and I killed him! 465 00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:06,316 IĀ“m not saying it wonĀ“t take you a while. 466 00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:08,217 -We better call the manager. -No, you canĀ“t do that! 467 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,887 -Why not? -HeĀ“s my husband. 468 00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,617 JOHN: [ Stammering ] Hang on. 469 00:18:11,617 --> 00:18:13,888 -LetĀ“s think about this. -What is there to think about? 470 00:18:13,888 --> 00:18:16,648 Why donĀ“t you just finish getting dressed, eh? 471 00:18:16,648 --> 00:18:18,248 ThatĀ“s it. There we go. 472 00:18:18,248 --> 00:18:19,848 ThatĀ“s it. 473 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,949 -[ Sighs ] -[ Knock on door ] 474 00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:24,819 Roy? Are you in there? 475 00:18:24,819 --> 00:18:26,720 -ItĀ“s Carol. -We canĀ“t let her in. 476 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,520 -[ Knock on door ] -Why not? 477 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,950 LetĀ“s just think about what weĀ“re doing. 478 00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,250 -What do you mean? -Last night, 479 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:32,490 we were pouring drinks down him. 480 00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:33,921 I donĀ“t want people thinking we killed him. 481 00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:34,951 -We didnĀ“t kill him. -Exactly. 482 00:18:34,951 --> 00:18:36,291 -You killed him. -[ Breathes deeply ] 483 00:18:36,291 --> 00:18:39,291 Roy! WeĀ“re all waiting downstairs, my love. 484 00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:40,592 -Say something. -Like what? 485 00:18:40,592 --> 00:18:42,992 -Anything. -Hi, love. 486 00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:44,792 -CAROL: Trevor? -Yes? 487 00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,323 [ Breathes deeply ] Is Roy in there? 488 00:18:47,323 --> 00:18:49,023 -Yes. -CAROL: Oh. 489 00:18:49,023 --> 00:18:51,253 ItĀ“s getting late. 490 00:18:51,253 --> 00:18:53,854 Will he be much longer? 491 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,425 He might be a while. 492 00:18:59,425 --> 00:19:00,925 What am I doing? 493 00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:03,495 Just indulging meself -- ThatĀ“s what it is. 494 00:19:03,495 --> 00:19:04,655 No, itĀ“s not. 495 00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:06,926 Just because youĀ“ve got a few years on the rest of us, 496 00:19:06,926 --> 00:19:08,796 thereĀ“s no reason not to lead your life. 497 00:19:08,796 --> 00:19:10,726 YouĀ“ve got to go for it Joan. 498 00:19:10,726 --> 00:19:15,497 EveryoneĀ“s taken so much trouble over a stupid old thing like me. 499 00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:17,497 Old people get married all the time. 500 00:19:17,497 --> 00:19:19,258 So do stupid people. 501 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,498 And ClaireĀ“s on her way with the kids. 502 00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:23,958 And Terry. And even Pete and Kath. 503 00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:26,299 DoesnĀ“t that make you want to go through with it? 504 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,799 Knowing all those people are gonna be there for you? 505 00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:31,330 It would, if I liked any of them. 506 00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:34,660 What about Roy? HeĀ“ll be so disappointed. 507 00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:36,960 HeĀ“s still young. HeĀ“ll find somebody else. 508 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,301 WonĀ“t you miss him? 509 00:19:38,301 --> 00:19:39,801 WeĀ“ll keep in touch. 510 00:19:39,801 --> 00:19:41,431 What about all his jokes? 511 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,701 Oh, theyĀ“re not that good. 512 00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:45,902 What about his magic hands? 513 00:19:46,732 --> 00:19:47,732 Oh, all right. 514 00:19:48,502 --> 00:19:51,463 WeĀ“re all here, so we might as well go through with it. 515 00:19:58,604 --> 00:19:59,604 Has she gone? 516 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:03,805 All clear. 517 00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:05,335 What are we going to do about him? 518 00:20:05,335 --> 00:20:06,405 Well, weĀ“ve got to tell somebody. 519 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,835 We canĀ“t just leave him here. 520 00:20:07,835 --> 00:20:09,906 Where is he? 521 00:20:09,906 --> 00:20:11,606 Well, maybe she moved him. 522 00:20:11,606 --> 00:20:13,236 What, you think the maid tidied him up? 523 00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:15,236 No, I didnĀ“t. 524 00:20:15,236 --> 00:20:16,837 -Aah! -Aaaaahhh! 525 00:20:16,837 --> 00:20:18,567 [ Screams ] 526 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,667 Trevor, why donĀ“t you take her down to your room 527 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:21,767 -and calm her down? -Come on. 528 00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,838 LetĀ“s go and get some hot sweet tea. 529 00:20:23,838 --> 00:20:25,768 ThatĀ“s what you need after a shock. 530 00:20:25,768 --> 00:20:28,608 I donĀ“t know what I was thinking. 531 00:20:28,608 --> 00:20:32,339 I mean, I donĀ“t usually do this sort of thing. 532 00:20:33,009 --> 00:20:34,669 -ThatĀ“s Colin! -WhoĀ“s Colin? 533 00:20:34,669 --> 00:20:36,370 My husband! 534 00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:38,470 Oh! The manager. 535 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,410 DonĀ“t worry. IĀ“ll sort it out. 536 00:20:41,811 --> 00:20:47,371 -[ Alarm blaring ] -♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ 537 00:20:48,272 --> 00:20:49,642 Excuse me. IĀ“m terribly sorry. 538 00:20:49,642 --> 00:20:51,872 IĀ“ve just hit that fire alarm by mistake. 539 00:20:51,872 --> 00:20:53,842 Now, we donĀ“t want a full fire drill, do we? 540 00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:55,743 -DonĀ“t worry, sir. -Thank you so much. 541 00:20:55,743 --> 00:20:58,513 ♫ Do-do-do-do, do, do, do ♫ 542 00:20:58,513 --> 00:20:59,843 Who are you? 543 00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:00,974 Trevor. 544 00:21:00,974 --> 00:21:02,944 -[ Elevator powers off ] -WhatĀ“s happening? 545 00:21:02,944 --> 00:21:04,314 -[ Alarm blaring in distance ] -Fire alarm. 546 00:21:04,314 --> 00:21:05,974 Oh, my God. 547 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,875 -ItĀ“s all right, Mum. -JOAN: Oh, yeah. 548 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,945 WeĀ“re in the safest place for a fire. 549 00:21:09,945 --> 00:21:11,545 ThatĀ“s what they say, isnĀ“t it? 550 00:21:11,545 --> 00:21:13,946 When thereĀ“s a fire, head for the lift. 551 00:21:13,946 --> 00:21:15,716 YouĀ“ll be safe in there. 552 00:21:15,716 --> 00:21:16,976 What were you doing? 553 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,716 Playing dead. 554 00:21:18,716 --> 00:21:20,377 How was that gonna work? 555 00:21:20,377 --> 00:21:22,547 Got me out of three marriages. 556 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,047 Bit of gallows humor there. 557 00:21:24,047 --> 00:21:26,347 No, I thought IĀ“d get out the window when you left the room. 558 00:21:26,347 --> 00:21:27,618 What are you -- Spider-Man? 559 00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:28,678 Why did you do it? 560 00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,848 IĀ“ve got an addictive personality. 561 00:21:30,848 --> 00:21:32,648 IĀ“m addicted to sex and alcohol. 562 00:21:32,648 --> 00:21:34,349 -You love Joan, though? -I do. 563 00:21:34,349 --> 00:21:36,819 Well, thatĀ“s the main thing, isnĀ“t it? 564 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:42,020 [ Sighs ] 565 00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:43,480 Have you pressed all the buttons? 566 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,850 No, I left a few out. 567 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:46,481 ItĀ“s feeling a bit close. 568 00:21:46,481 --> 00:21:47,981 ThatĀ“s Ā“cause weĀ“re stuck in a lift, Mum. 569 00:21:47,981 --> 00:21:49,681 IĀ“m feeling hot! 570 00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:51,781 -ItĀ“s all right, Mum. -IĀ“ve got to get out of here. 571 00:21:51,781 --> 00:21:53,782 -Get me out! -SheĀ“s having a panic attack. 572 00:21:53,782 --> 00:21:55,352 -Calm her down. -JOAN: I need some air. 573 00:21:55,352 --> 00:21:57,382 Get me out of here! Get me ou-- 574 00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,382 What are you doing? 575 00:21:58,382 --> 00:22:01,253 Well, she might calm down if she canĀ“t see anything. 576 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:02,383 SheĀ“s not a budgie. 577 00:22:02,383 --> 00:22:04,853 JOAN: [ Blows ] 578 00:22:07,654 --> 00:22:08,884 Are we gonna tell Maureen? 579 00:22:08,884 --> 00:22:10,884 We donĀ“t need to bother her with this. 580 00:22:10,884 --> 00:22:13,025 I mean, everybody has last-minute wobbles 581 00:22:13,025 --> 00:22:14,885 before their wedding. 582 00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:17,685 Hey, Paula, Terry. ItĀ“s in the function room. 583 00:22:17,685 --> 00:22:19,886 WeĀ“ll be down in a jiffy. 584 00:22:19,886 --> 00:22:22,826 EveryoneĀ“s expecting a wedding. Who are we to deny them? 585 00:22:22,826 --> 00:22:23,926 I think we should tell her. 586 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,757 TheyĀ“re getting married Alan, and thatĀ“s that. 587 00:22:25,757 --> 00:22:27,387 But sheĀ“ll be married to a different person 588 00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:28,727 to the one she fell in love with. 589 00:22:28,727 --> 00:22:30,787 -Who isnĀ“t? -Fair point. 590 00:22:30,787 --> 00:22:32,728 No, thank you. 591 00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:34,728 WeĀ“re going to make you a nice cup of tea, 592 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,358 and then when youĀ“re feeling better, we can get you home. 593 00:22:38,329 --> 00:22:40,289 -Hi, love. -Hi. 594 00:22:40,289 --> 00:22:42,459 -WhoĀ“s that? -My wife, Carol. 595 00:22:42,459 --> 00:22:44,890 [ Sighs ] All the best ones are taken. 596 00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:46,730 IĀ“ve just come back for my cardigan. 597 00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:48,260 Yes. 598 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,431 ItĀ“s a bit chilly in that function room. 599 00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:53,261 -Good idea. -WhoĀ“s this? 600 00:22:53,261 --> 00:22:55,761 -Pat. -ItĀ“s Pat. 601 00:22:55,761 --> 00:22:57,692 Pat. 602 00:23:02,062 --> 00:23:03,963 Not a bad turnout. 603 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:07,633 MAUREEN: WhereĀ“s Roy? 604 00:23:07,633 --> 00:23:10,294 -HeĀ“s just nipped to the loo. -Oh, MumĀ“s so happy. 605 00:23:10,294 --> 00:23:11,994 SheĀ“s made up, isnĀ“t she? 606 00:23:11,994 --> 00:23:14,334 Who would have thought someone would be taking your mum 607 00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,265 off our hands at her time of life? 608 00:23:16,265 --> 00:23:17,895 [ Voice breaking ] I think IĀ“m gonna cry. 609 00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:18,935 Me too. 610 00:23:18,935 --> 00:23:21,735 -You ready to go? -No. 611 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:23,496 -What? -What do you mean? 612 00:23:23,496 --> 00:23:24,866 ThereĀ“s something I need to tell you. 613 00:23:24,866 --> 00:23:26,466 We were so close. 614 00:23:26,466 --> 00:23:28,036 I... 615 00:23:28,036 --> 00:23:29,867 HeĀ“s not the man you think he is. 616 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:33,637 Alan, we know more about Roy than you could possibly imagine, 617 00:23:33,637 --> 00:23:35,398 and he is a sweet, decent man. 618 00:23:35,398 --> 00:23:37,468 HeĀ“s an alcoholic sex addict. 619 00:23:37,468 --> 00:23:39,598 -I knew it. -HeĀ“s just a bit eccentric. 620 00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:40,998 ItĀ“s actually a medical condition. 621 00:23:40,998 --> 00:23:42,639 All right, Roy. IĀ“m dealing with it. 622 00:23:42,639 --> 00:23:43,769 I donĀ“t understand. 623 00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:45,769 He spent the night with a member of the hotel staff. 624 00:23:45,769 --> 00:23:47,969 [ Laughing ] He was drunk, to be fair. 625 00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:50,340 What are you all doing out here -- 626 00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,400 having a mothersĀ“ meeting? 627 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,341 Joan, thereĀ“s something I need to tell you. 628 00:23:55,341 --> 00:23:56,841 WhatĀ“s that? 629 00:23:56,841 --> 00:23:58,341 IĀ“m carrying some baggage. 630 00:23:58,341 --> 00:24:00,701 Oh. Is it for your waterworks? 631 00:24:00,701 --> 00:24:01,972 Not that kind of baggage. 632 00:24:01,972 --> 00:24:03,872 Emotional baggage. 633 00:24:03,872 --> 00:24:05,002 IĀ“m an addict. 634 00:24:05,002 --> 00:24:08,043 -Oh, I know that. -What? 635 00:24:08,043 --> 00:24:09,373 You didnĀ“t think IĀ“d marry you 636 00:24:09,373 --> 00:24:11,303 without checking up on you first, did you? 637 00:24:11,303 --> 00:24:12,973 I spent last night with a strange woman. 638 00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:15,804 YouĀ“re spending tonight with an even stranger one. 639 00:24:15,804 --> 00:24:18,374 [ PachelbelĀ“s "Canon in Ā“DĀ“ Major" plays ] 640 00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:22,475 You still feeling it? 641 00:24:22,475 --> 00:24:24,345 IĀ“m on fire down there, Joyce. 642 00:24:24,345 --> 00:24:25,705 ItĀ“ll get worse later. 643 00:24:25,705 --> 00:24:27,776 Why? 644 00:24:27,776 --> 00:24:30,976 Looks like weĀ“re having curry for lunch. 645 00:24:31,876 --> 00:24:34,607 -CAROL: HowĀ“s Pat doing? -Fine. 646 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,377 She just had a bit too much to drink. 647 00:24:36,377 --> 00:24:37,447 CAROL: IĀ“ve been thinking. 648 00:24:37,447 --> 00:24:39,878 IĀ“m not sure that color scheme does suit you. 649 00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:43,448 -I mean, itĀ“s up to you, but... -I wonĀ“t wear it anymore. 650 00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:45,448 Whatever feels right for you. 651 00:24:45,448 --> 00:24:47,379 You still need to be assertive. 652 00:24:47,379 --> 00:24:48,879 Absolutely. 653 00:24:48,879 --> 00:24:50,349 Maybe weekends. 654 00:24:50,349 --> 00:24:52,650 -I donĀ“t think so. -No, neither do I. 655 00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:54,580 [ MendelssohnĀ“s "Wedding March" plays ] 656 00:24:58,710 --> 00:24:59,811 Mum... 657 00:24:59,811 --> 00:25:02,681 So, we both like a drink. WhatĀ“s the big deal? 658 00:25:02,681 --> 00:25:04,551 But youĀ“re marrying a sex addict. 659 00:25:04,551 --> 00:25:05,782 ThatĀ“s a cross IĀ“ll just have to bear. 660 00:25:05,782 --> 00:25:08,382 But he spent last night with another woman. 661 00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:10,812 IĀ“ve got a free one in the bank, then, havenĀ“t I? 662 00:25:10,812 --> 00:25:14,813 You sure you donĀ“t mind a Hindu ceremony? 663 00:25:17,753 --> 00:25:20,054 I mean, I thought it made a nice change. 664 00:25:20,054 --> 00:25:23,684 -Add a bit of pizzazz. -ItĀ“s very nice. 665 00:25:26,055 --> 00:25:29,285 Bloody online forms. I ticked the wrong box. 666 00:25:29,285 --> 00:25:30,785 JOHN: Well, thatĀ“s brilliant, isnĀ“t it, eh? 667 00:25:30,785 --> 00:25:33,486 -Finally sorted. -TheyĀ“ll be fine. 668 00:25:33,486 --> 00:25:34,986 WeĀ“ll help them out, wonĀ“t we? 669 00:25:34,986 --> 00:25:37,957 -Yeah, of course we will. -I was hoping youĀ“d say that. 670 00:25:37,957 --> 00:25:40,817 IĀ“ve booked us a romantic holiday as a reward. 671 00:25:40,817 --> 00:25:42,887 -Ooh. Sexy time. -If youĀ“re lucky. 672 00:25:42,887 --> 00:25:45,288 -Where we going? -Mediterranean cruise. 673 00:25:45,288 --> 00:25:46,658 Ooh la la! 674 00:25:46,658 --> 00:25:47,788 With Mum and Roy. 675 00:25:47,788 --> 00:25:49,618 ♫ Jai ho ♫ 676 00:25:49,618 --> 00:25:51,089 [ Up-tempo dance music plays ] 677 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:56,389 ♫ Jai ho ♫ 678 00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:59,320 ♫ I got shivers when you touch that way ♫ 679 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,990 ♫ IĀ“ll make you hot, get all you got ♫ 680 00:26:00,990 --> 00:26:02,620 ♫ IĀ“ll make you want to say ♫ 681 00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:04,561 ♫ Jai ho ♫ 682 00:26:05,861 --> 00:26:10,492 -♫ Jai ho ♫ -♫ Baila, baila ♫ 683 00:26:11,062 --> 00:26:13,022 ♫ Baila, baila ♫ 684 00:26:13,022 --> 00:26:17,663 -♫ Jai ho ♫ -♫ Baila, baila ♫ 685 00:26:18,323 --> 00:26:20,493 ♫ Jai ho ♫ 50144

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