All language subtitles for Boomers.S02E03.Naming.Ceremony.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-Gusty_track3_[eng]

TREVOR: [ Whistling
"The Tears of a Clown" ]

JOHN: It´s not about
being a man wanting to sit

in the front, Carol; It´s about
me being three feet taller.

I get carsick
if I read in the back.

Well, don´t read.

How far is it
to this christening?

Hour and a half.

Great.

And it´s not a christening.
It´s a naming ceremony.

-Even better.
-CAROL: I´ve got to read.

I´ve joined this
online creative-writing course.

I´m working on something.

Why don´t you read us some?
Go on.

Oh, no, I couldn´t do that.

-Oh, go on!
-No!

She doesn´t want to, Maureen.
Don´t force her.

Although, my tutor
is encouraging the class

to seek out friends´ opinions
to help us develop creatively.

It all sounds very exciting.
What is it?

It´s an erotic novel.

Although,
if she wants to read it,

then perhaps
we could all learn something.

"Chapter 1 -- Faint Stirrings."

Anyone want anything
from the shop?

Earplugs.

"The sun burned a blazing orange

as its rays spread out
over the Norfolk coast.

It was morning, in Norfolk."

All I´m saying is,

she´s our granddaughter
and we never get to see her.

There´s more pictures of Bigfoot

than there are
of me and that baby.

Why are you wearing that jacket?

You´ve got so many nice ones.

A lot of my friends warned me
this would happen.

Their daughters-in-laws are
all the same -- control freaks.

Do you know what it´s like
dealing with someone like that?

It must be difficult.

Plus, Lee´s got his new job.

I don´t think he´s happy there,
Alan. He´s not been himself.

She´s forced him into it
for the money.

They´ve always got
her mum and dad to tap up.

Vaughan and Sally are loaded.

I wouldn´t say
they were loaded --

just ´cause
they´ve got a big house.

-They´ve got a boat.
-Lots of people have got boats.

With a staircase?

We should talk to Lee,

-ask them if they need anything.
-We can´t afford it.

It doesn´t have to be much,
just a gesture.

Money´s always short
when you´ve got little ones.

Remember us
when we were starting out?

Remember us now?

-I´m going to talk to Lee.
-No. No. I´ll talk to him.

Don´t be silly.
You can´t talk to him, Alan.

-You two never communicate.
-We talk all the time.

-About football.
-That´s still talking.

[ Horn honks ]

[ Car doors open ]

TREVOR: Not a bad little
runaround, is she, John?

What, the car or Carol?

Because that book she´s writing
is pretty racy,

if chapter three´s
anything to go by.

I know. Even Matthäus never did
anything like that with me.

Who´s Matthäus?

My German exchange student
at school.

-I must have told you about him.
-No.

-[ Tapping ]
-Shall I help her?

Oh, I had to put
the child locks on.

Carol was making loom bands
on the door handles last week

and nearly pulled it open
on the A402.

Just press the button
on the handle, love!

-The -- The red button!
-[ Click ]

That´s it!

-[ Thud ]
-Oh!

-Are you all right?
-CAROL: I´m fine!

Hi!

You look lovely, Joyce --

-very "grandma."
-Oh, thank you.

-Very "granny."
-Yeah.

-Very "granny gran gran."
-Yeah. All right, Maureen.

So exciting for you and Alan --

your first grandchild
being christened.

Oh, it´s a naming ceremony,
Carol, not a christening.

I´m all for experiencing
new things.

-[ Car doors lock ]
-You weren´t enjoying

-Carol´s book very much.
-TREVOR: That´s not true.

You had the radio on
all the whole way.

Music relaxes me
when I´m driving.

It wasn´t tuned in.

Why can´t they have
a christening in a church

so we all know where we are?

Oh, you´re suddenly religious,
are you?

You don´t have to be religious
to have a christening.

That´s the whole point
about being a Christian --

you don´t have to believe
in anything.

Still, you get to hold the baby.

If Suze lets me get
within 10 feet of her, yes.

Oh, you´ll see plenty of her
today, I´m sure.

I will, ´cause today´s
going to be different.

I´m putting my foot down
and I´m asserting my rights.

I´m giving Scarlett
our family heirlooms.

SUZE:
It´s a wishing tree.

So, what you do is,
you write your wish for Scarlett

on the tag, and then
you attach it to the tree.

Oh, that´s lovely.

Isn´t that lovely, Joyce?

-Hello, Letty.
-Scarlett.

I always call her Letty.

Even though her name´s Scarlett.

We haven´t missed the photos,
have we?

No, we´re going to do some
later.

-All together?
-Of course, the whole family!

Stop worrying, Joyce. You´re not
going to miss anything.

Grandmothers give us memories,
don´t they, Scarlett?

Aww...

Alan...

Suze, we wanted to give you this
for Scarlett.

It´s Alan´s christening dress.

-I was smaller back then.
-JOYCE: Lee wore it, too.

I thought it would be nice

to pass something down
through the family.

Shall I hold Scarlett?

-Hi, Mum!
-SALLY: Aww!

Oh, she has got Granny´s eyes,
hasn´t she, Suze?

I can see a lot of Lee in her.

You can see
Alan´s side of the family.

-´Round the nose.
-Can you?

I can, Alan, yes.

We weren´t expecting presents.
We hoped people would donate

to the charity
we put on the invites.

Oh, yeah, you´ve done that, too,
haven´t you, Alan?

Yeah, well, anyway, this is just
a little something extra,

really.

It has been professionally
dry-cleaned since Lee wore it.

ALAN:
Can´t see the blood now.

Alan got a nosebleed renouncing
the devil at Lee´s christening.

And this is a locket
that belonged to my grandmother.

And there´s space inside for
a picture of someone special.

Maybe someone in the family.

Thanks for this,
but, Joyce, I did explain

today is a naming day,
not a christening.

Be a shame not to use it,
though, wouldn´t it?

-Shall I pop her in it?
-No, Joyce.

Not to worry. Mum and Dad had
a naming gown specially handmade

-for Scarlett in France.
-SCARLETT: [ Whines ]

Actually, I should take Scarlett
for her nap,

so she doesn´t get testy later.

Oh, she´s so like you, Joyce.

[ Chuckles awkwardly ]

[ Insects buzzing ]

CAROL: My course tutor gave me
an "A" for my last piece.

I had to imagine I was
an item of household furniture.

I was a Welsh dresser.

Did you read it?
It´s on my iPad.

This is very sturdy, isn´t it?

You´ve not really engaged with
my writing, have you, Trevor?

I am. I have.
I-I think it´s nice.

"Nice"?

That´s what you say when I tell
you I´m writing an erotic novel?

Well, no one´s ever said that
to me before.

I don´t know what the correct
response is. Olé?

You´re not embarrassed about it,
are you?

No, of course I´m not.

´Cause, you know, I´m trying
to express myself more now.

-I know you are.
-I mean, part of our therapy

is to explore our individuality
jointly.

Exactly. And I love
jointly exploring things.

-It´s just...
-Oh, what is it?

You know you can talk to me
about anything

-that´s bothering you.
-I just don´t know

how good it is.

Okay.

-You said I could say anything.
-I didn´t mean it.

Okay, well, you can see
how confusing that might be.

Are you saying I´m
embarrassing you? Is that it?

No! Of course not!

I-I´m -- I´m just not sure

who´s going to be interested
in a book based on our sex life.

Who said
it was about our sex life?

I read chapter 5.

[ Laughter ]

Threw them back in my face.
In my face.

We´re the poor relations.
They´re cutting us off.

-Did you talk to him yet?
-I haven´t had a chance.

He´s your son.
You´ve got to talk to him.

-In a minute.
-Talk to him, Alan -- now!

You´ve got to bond with him.
Otherwise, we´ll lose them all!

-Did you see the match on --
-Not about football!

How´s it going?

We need these lights
for this evening,

but I can´t get them to work.

I don´t understand
Vaughan´s electrics.

Well, Dad will help you.

-Have you tried the ring main?
-Yeah. I think so.

-What´s the ring main?
-Come on.

[ Indistinct talking ]

You going to ask Vaughan
about joining his sailing club?

Yeah, but I don´t think

we should be using
their christening

as a way to schmooze our way
into a boat club.

It´s not a boat club.
It´s the Royal Anglia.

You´ve been trying
to get in there for years.

All you have to do is play up
our connections a bit.

What connections?
We hardly know them.

Alan and Joyce
are practically family.

Their Lee was like a son to me.

No, he wasn´t. You called him
Len till he was 12.

What harm can it do to ask?

Yeah, but, I mean, do we really
want to join that kind of club?

-Are they our kind of people?
-What do you mean?

All those refined,
upmarket types.

People like me, you mean?

I´ll go and find him.

♫ Don´t get me wrong ♫

♫ If I´m acting so... ♫

Hello, beautiful!

Oh! Oh, she´s so beautiful,
isn´t she?

-We couldn´t be more proud.
-Neither could we.

Even though we´ve got
four others already.

Four?!
Oh, you are lucky!

-I know!
-You won´t be able to spend

much time with this one, then,
will you?

-Of course, we will.
-No, you won´t.

I think we will.

Well, you don´t want to spread
yourself too thin, Sally.

Why don´t you give her to me
for a bit?

I was going to put her down
for her nap.

Well, she can stay up for a bit
longer. It´s her special day.

She -- She doesn´t need
to go down. Hello, gorgeous!

Yeah, I think
I´d better get her inside.

JOYCE:
Hello, Letty! Letty!

Is this your first
naming ceremony, Vaughan?

Yeah.

Suze and Lee were adamant they
didn´t want a church ceremony.

I have to say we supported them.

I don´t like organized religion,
either.

I´m an atheist, thank God.

Wouldn´t be seen dead
in a church, me.

Well, eventually,
I suppose, yeah,

but I´d rather be buried at sea;
That´s where I feel at home.

-You a sailing man, John?
-Aye, aye, Skipper.

-Me too.
-No way!

Are you a member anywhere?

It´s funny you should ask that

´cause I´m actually in between
clubs at the moment.

Thank you.

Can you see all right?

-LEE: Yep.
-ALAN: Good.

-Suze okay?
-Yeah, great.

Great.

And Scarlett?

-Great, yeah.
-Great.

And, um, what about the job?

-What about it?
-Is that great?

-It´s all right.
-Great.

Do you think
we´ll get a left-back

-before the transfer deadline?
-Oh, I hope so. We need one.

-We really need one, don´t we?
-Yeah.

You grabbing
a bit of cuddle time?

Yeah, just trying to avoid
Lee´s mum.

-She´s a bit full on, isn´t she?
-Oh, she´s completely mental.

Around babies, I mean.
In a good way.

Not in
a "snatch them out of hospital

and bring them up as your own"
kind of way.

So, Trevor tells me you work
part time in a hospice.

That must be very rewarding.

Oh, people check in, they die,
they check in, they die.

-Can get a bit same-y.
-Mm.

That´s office work for you,
though, isn´t it?

Actually, I´m doing
an online writing course.

-I´m writing a novel.
-Oh, that´s fascinating!

Nobody else
seems very interested.

I´m interested.

I know a lot of people
into self-publishing.

-Really?
-SCARLETT: [ Whines ]

Oh? What´s up, little one?

Poor thing.

So, how do you self-publish,
then?

-Well, what you have to do is --
-[ Whines ]

Oh, you really are cross
about something, aren´t you?

She´s fine.
Just put her down for a minute.

Is it online publishing?

-Shall I feed her?
-Perfect.

Thought I´d lost you there
for a minute!

So did I...

-We were just talking, Joyce.
-I was about to feed her, Joyce.

I can do that, Suze,
if you want to mingle.

That´s okay, Joyce.
You enjoy your wine.

Mum can take her. She doesn´t
drink around children.

Sally´s coming for a little chat
with me, aren´t you, Sally?

-I´ll do it, then.
-SALLY: Excuse me.

What about the family photos?
When we having them?

Oh, we´ve already done them.

We were looking for you, but
we couldn´t find you anywhere.

LEE: Not sure you´re
meant to fiddle with that bit.

They tell you that
because they don´t want you to

fix it yourself.

They say the same thing
about washing machines

and dishwashers.
I just ignore it.

Didn´t you electrocute yourself
fixing your dishwasher?

No, I electrocuted your mother.

Ah. All done.

Family pulls together in crisis,
nails it.

-That was fun.
-Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

Um, I wanted to talk to you, uh,
you know, before

about [clears throat]

well, you know,
jobs and whatnot.

-Yeah. Right.
-Yeah.

Are you...

You know, do -- d-do you...

I mean, um, how are you feeling?

[ Click ]

Uh, you can tell me later.

[ Electricity crackles ]

It´s no problem at all.
I´ll propose you.

That´s very kind.

We´re always looking
for new meat.

Maureen will be pleased.

Is that Maureen over there?

JOHN: Yes.
She loves to meet new people.

She likes to meet new people?

Oh, yes. Our kind of people,
if you know what I mean.

I think I do, John.

Does she like getting her hands
dirty on deck?

She´s not a huge sailor,
but she´ll certainly join in.

She´ll be able to cope
with a few swinging booms?

Oh, I expect so.

So you think that Sally and I
are your type of people, John?

I do, Vaughan.
I really do.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

How could you blow the fuse?

I thought you were
going to get someone ´round!

We didn´t think
it looked that complicated.

-Who´s "we"?
-Me and Dad.

How are we going to heat up
the food?

I still haven´t fed Scarlett.

How am I going to heat up
her frozen puree?

Now I´m going to have to get
my breasts out

and feed her during the ceremony
to keep her quiet.

She´s going to have to get
her breasts out, Alan.

-That´s where you´ve got us to.
-Sorry.

-We need ice.
-JOYCE: Oh!

Do you put ice on them first?
Oh, that´s a good idea.

We never used to do that
in our day.

For the drinks and milk,
to keep it all cold.

-And some soya formula milk.
-I´ll go.

You´ll get the wrong thing.
I´ll go,

You tell them to hold off
on the ceremony for 10 minutes.

Mum can look after Scarlett.

I can look after her.

-Where´s Mum?
-Please. Trust me.

I have done it before.

SCARLETT: [ Whines ]

Thing about boats, John,

is that one gets so used to
handling one´s own vessel

there are no surprises left
anymore.

Running your fingers over that
all-too-familiar bow with its...

Crapped-out rigging,
sagging boom?

I miss the feeling of tussling
with a new vessel, John,

taming it, working out
how to make it perform

to its optimum potential.

Maybe I could handle yours
and you could handle mine, John?

Yeah!
What do you mean?

Top-up?

Oh, my God.

You asked him yet?

-Uh...no, not yet.
-Why not?

Just waiting
for the right moment.

-I´ll ask him.
-No, no, no, no. I´ll do it.

Maureen! Maureen!

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

-TREVOR: Nice party.
-Yeah. It´s going well.

Carol´s loving it.

-Is that Carol over there?
-Yeah.

-Do you and Carol sail?
-No.

I wish she was more interested
in conventional pastimes.

Is she a bit of a nonconformist?

TREVOR: Very much so.

She´s writing a novel.

And, um...
it´s a little bit "racy."

Oh, that´s interesting.

-Vaughan?
-John! Have you decided yet?

Well, I´ve got
a couple of questions.

Fire away, mate.
John´s joining our sailing club.

-Oh.
-I´m thinking about it.

Dipping his toe in the water.

-Just my toe.
-That´s all you need.

-Good.
-For now.

Oh, Dawn?
Another splash of vino?

I´ve just just telling Vaughan
about Carol´s novel.

I wouldn´t, if I were you.

I mean, I try to be supportive,

but sometimes
she goes beyond normal.

You know what I mean
by "beyond normal"?

-Yeah, I think I do.
-We probably don´t need

to go into that now,
though, do we, eh?

-Trevor --
-I just find it hard

to go along with some of the
things that Carol wants to do.

Marriage is about indulging our
partner´s fantasies, isn´t it?

Yes, it is.

Got to keep each other´s dreams
alive, Trevor.

We may not share
our partner´s passions.

Just as long as our passion for
our partner isn´t diminished.

Now, excuse me.
I´ve got to circulate.

Oh, you go ahead. A host
has to spread himself around.

I do my best.

This feels like kidnapping.

Rubbish, Joyce.
She´s your granddaughter.

You´re entitled to spend
some quality time with her.

-[ Camera shutter clicks ]
-I am, aren´t I?

And your family needs
photos of you with the baby.

They do.
They´re always asking for them.

MAUREEN:
Perfect! [ Chuckles ]

I just want her to grow up
knowing about her family

and the history and knowing
that she´s part of that history,

even if her mum
doesn´t want her to be.

-Do you want a cuddle?
-Aww!

With Scarlett.

Oh, ´course I do!

Aww!

Wasn´t there another jewel
on the front of that thing?

Oh, no.

SCARLETT: [ Whimpers ]

I can´t see it.

Oh, my God.

What?

It´s up her nose.

Trev, t-this
is purely hypothetical,

but what would you say

if someone wanted to share
something very important to you?

Such as?

Something very personal.

Something
you really cared about.

What, you talking
about garden tools?

-No.
-You´re not after

-my leaf-blower again, are you?
-It doesn´t matter.

I told you, if you want it,
you just have to ask.

Forget it, Trev.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You should carry on
with your book.

-What?
-I don´t want to be the person

who stifles your dreams;
That´s your course tutor´s job.

-I am so glad you said that.
-Are you?

Yeah, because
I´ve decided to publish it.

Great!

What do you mean?

I´m going to self-publish it
online.

Online?

But the whole world
will see it!

I know.
Isn´t it amazing?

And you don´t have to worry
about the cost.

We´re going to crowdsource it.

[ Shudders ]

MAUREEN: What´s happening?
Can you reach it?

I´m trying to.

MAUREEN: Is it still there?
Have you got it?

Oh, yeah, I got it
five minutes ago, Maureen.

I´m just looking
for the engagement ring

that I lost on Camber Sands
in 1982!

[ Click ]

[ Click ]

-Al? Have you got a minute?
-ALAN: Yeah. What is it?

Well, then...

Shoot me down in flames
if you want,

but what´s your thinking on,
um...being with other people?

How do you mean,
"being with other people"?

Well, I mean, would
you and Joyce ever consider

sharing intimate moments
with another couple?

Oh, I don´t think so.
We don´t get many to begin with.

I don´t want to start
handing them out willy-nilly.

No, I´m serious.

You see, Vaughan wants me to
join his sailing club,

but he´s into mix and match.

-What?
-He is.

Oh, just goes to show you,
doesn´t it?

You just never know
about people. Dreadful.

He´s really gone down
in my estimation.

I wonder
why he´s never asked me?

What do I do?

Well, you can´t do it, John.
It´s perverted. It´s disgusting.

-It´s free mooring.
-John...

[ Sighs ]
Maureen who wants me to join.

-She´s desperate.
-Not that desperate, surely?

I´m not going to do it,
obviously.

But what if I just play along
until we´re in?

You can´t lie about it.

You pretended to be Catholic
to get Lee into that school.

-[ Electricity crackles ]
-Aah!

Didn´t do him any good, though.

CAROL: Well, you said
I should follow my dreams.

Yes, follow normal dreams.

Follow your dreams
if they´re normal!

Owning a beach hut
is a normal dream.

Publishing your husband´s...
details on your Facebook group

-is not!
-Nobody´s going to know.

Everybody knows those books are
based on personal experiences.

-No, they don´t.
-Everybody knows!

-No, they don´t.
-Dawn, this is Carol.

And this is Trevor.

The Trevor?

♫ If you want my body
and you think I´m sexy ♫

♫ Come on, sugar, let me know ♫

♫ If you really need me... ♫

John! You all right?

-Yep. I´m good.
-Don´t worry, mate.

Your membership --
It´s all sorted. You´re in.

Great.
Yeah, but the thing is...

Damn.
Maureen doesn´t want to join?

-Well...
-She does want to join?

-In principle, but...
-Look, John,

a lot of people can be
a bit parochial or small-minded

about things like this,

but I can tell you´re not
small-minded, are you?

Well, I voted Lib Dem
at the last council elections.

-Well, there you go.
-Yeah, but I think

we ought to read the membership
forms properly before we...

Oh, you don´t want to worry
about formalities like that.

-Don´t we?
-Look at Sally.

She´s always had
an athletic build.

You might not know it,

but you could crack a walnut
between those thighs.

I bet she comes in handy
at Christmas.

Listen, Vaughan,
we should clear something up.

-Do you smoke, John?
-Not anymore.

I´m not talking
about cigarettes.

Step into my office.

Shut the door.
You´ll let the women in.

Don´t worry.

Mark had a marble stuck
up his nose for a week once.

I´m not leaving it in there.
It´s a family heirloom.

-SCARLETT: [ Whines ]
-Got it!

MAUREEN: Well done!

-Sorry, Letty.
-MAUREEN: It´s all right.

-It´s not your fault.
-It is my fault.

You know, if you´re worried
about not spending enough time

with Scarlett,
you should tell Suze.

She´s very nice.
She´ll understand.

You just have to be honest
with her.

-I know. I will. I promise.
-[ Doorknob rattling ]

SUZE: Joyce?
You in there with Scarlett?

Lie. Lie. Lie.

-Joyce? We´re ready to start.
-We´re just changing her!

The door´s locked.

Oh!
Uh, just looking for the key!

-Where´s the key, Maureen?
-It´s in the...

I don´t know.

Then she´s been introducing us,
saying, "This is Trevor.

He´s the inspiration behind
the main sexual protagonist

-in my novel."
-Good for you.

I don´t think people
want to talk about that stuff.

-Well, don´t then.
-And I certainly don´t know

who´s going to be interested
in a book based on our sex life.

Nobody.
Uh, nobody´s interested, Trevor.

Vaughan,
about the "sailing" thing...

You need to loosen up, Trevor.

-Throw caution to the winds.
-Carol and I have never been

"throwing caution to the winds"
kind of people.

I-It´s all new territory for us.

Oh, no thanks.

It´ll help settle your nerves.
It´s herbal.

I get it off my guy
in Harley Street

to alleviate
my chronic back pain.

Do you suffer from any chronic,
long-term pain, Trevor?

-No.
-What about Carol?

Oh, I don´t really think of her
in those terms.

I mean, we´ve had
our differences, but...

Oh, I see.

It´s not under the bed.

SUZE: She´s going to miss
her own naming ceremony!

These blinds are lovely, Suze.

Joyce!

Did your mum
have them specially made?

[ Zipper zips ]

[ Breathes deeply ]
Oh, here´s the key.

Ah! Here she is,
all ready for Mum!

-Oh!
-She looks great.

-Was she okay with you?
-Yeah, she was fine.

You have to be careful.

She´s going through a phase
of putting things up her nose.

But I suppose you´ve seen it all
before, haven´t you?

Oh, don´t you worry, Suze.

You´re doing a great job
with her.

Thanks, Joyce.
Granny Joyce.

Granny Gran Gran.

-Hang on.
- [ Door closes ]

There´s another one missing.

Must be on the floor.

-SUZE: Joyce?
-BOTH: Coming!

-♫ One pill makes you larger ♫
-[ Sniffing ]

♫ And one pill makes you... ♫

This house is so small.
Or maybe I´m growing.

Do tiny people use this house,
Alan?

Yes, Trevor.
They´re called children.

Alan.

Vaughan.

Have you got a minute?

I´ve pretty much
sorted out the fuse box,

but I need somebody to...

-Fix it for you?
-That´s it.

I´ll give you a hand, but,
uh, I´m not very practical.

I´m more of an ideas man.

I´m trying to talk to Vaughan,
Alan.

TREVOR: Why didn´t you
come and ask us earlier?

We would have helped you
straightaway.

-I know, but --
-Because we love you.

So we´ll talk later, John, yeah?

I don´t think so, no.
You see,

me and Maureen aren´t really
your kind of people, Vaughan.

Call me old fashioned, but
we like to man our own vessels.

That´s very disappointing, John.

I thought you were
a man of wider vision.

I´m afraid not. See, we don´t
swing on other people´s booms.

We don´t splice
other people´s mainbraces,

and we certainly
aren´t having a four-way

with some odds and sods from
the Royal Anglia yacht club!

You haven´t seen my dad
anywhere, have you?

Ladies and gentlemen,
will you please take your seats?

[ George Harrison´s
"Give Me Love" plays ]

♫ Give me love, give me love ♫

♫ Give me... ♫

BOTH: We promise to be honest
but not to criticize.

We promise to encourage
but not to push.

Amen!

-Nice ceremony.
-Yeah.

We´re not joining the boat club.

Why not?

-I think it´s beneath us.
-You´ve always said

that underneath
everyone was the same.

Well, they probably are, but
I don´t really want to find out.

But it might be nice --

He wanted to do things with you.

Did he?

That was the joining fee.

Bit cheeky.
What did you say?

I said absolutely not,
straightaway.

I mean, I know there´s a 10-year
waiting list at the yacht club,

but one --
Men can´t make those decisions,

treating women
like property to be swapped;

And two -- She´s not my type.

But mainly one.

Thanks for defending my honor.

Well, it was a no-brainer,
to begin with.

I mean, you wouldn´t be
interested in him, would you?

You want me to say no, right?

You all right?

[ Singsong voice ]
Mm! I´m good.

This is my wife, Carol.

She´s writing a sex manual.

It´s not a manual.

[ Gasps ] Memoir.
Sorry.

I was thinking
of Haynes manuals.

I thought you
didn´t want to talk about it.

Look, darling, I´m not some kind
of acrobatic porn star.

-Trevor.
-No, really, I´m not.

I think we should be listening
to the ceremony.

But I will continue
to support you

in whatever hobbies you choose
to embarrass me with.

-Thank you?
-Because...

at the end of the day...

Something´s important.
What is it?

Oh, yes!

At the end of the day,
what really cements a marriage,

what really makes it work is...

popcorn.

You meet some strange people
at these things, don´t you?

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

How did you fix the electrics?

Just taped the trip switch down.

Don´t know why we didn´t think
about it before.

How did you get on with Suze?

Oh, all right, I think.

Don´t you want to take a photo?
For Facebook?

No, no.
I´ve, uh, already got some.

Joyce, this just came out
of Scarlett´s nose.

It´s some sort of glass bead.

Oh! That´s where
the other one went.

What were you doing?

Well, I just wanted a photo.

Think you may have overloaded
that, mate.

We know what we´re doing.

-How could you do that to her?
-We got the other one out.

How can I trust you again?

I promise that´s the last time
we´ll ever let you down.

[ Extinguisher whooshing ]

Did Mum tell you? We´re going to
give you some money.

John.

We´re staying for a drink.

Vaughan´s going to give us
a lift back in the morning.

He´s going to give me
a sailing lesson.

Oh, you better drive back!

Careful ´cause it overheats
if you go into fifth.

Looks like Carol´s going to get
her last chapter.

And Trevor´s
going to get his first.

♫ We are sailing ♫

♫ We are sailing ♫

♫ Home again ♫

♫ ´Cross the sea ♫

♫ We are sailing ♫

♫ Stormy waters ♫

♫ To be near you ♫

♫ To be free ♫

♫ Oh... ♫